The Terrible Catsafterme

SEASON 1 – Syndicated

Created by Walter R. Brooks, derived on a series of his own short stories beginning with “The Talking Horse,” first published in “Liberty” magazine September 18, 1937

Theme music “Mister Ed” by Ray Evans and Jay Livingston, instrumental version for the first seven episodes, thereafter sang by Jay Livingston

• 001. The First Meeting – 1/5/1961
  • Architect Wilbur Post (Alan Young) and his newlywed bride Carol (Connie Hines) move into their new home in the San Fernando Valley of California, and after being taken to the home by their real estate agent Mr. Reeves (Howard Wendell), Wilbur discovers that their barn contains a horse. They had purchased the home from their neighbor Roger Addison (Larry Keating), and he explains that the house’s former tenants, the Olkens, had need to leave in a hurry and left the horse for them to either keep or sell. Carol wants to sell him, while Wilbur would rather keep him, even more so when it appears that the horse seems to understand everything he says. Carol wastes no time in bringing in horse dealer Mr. Parker (Jason Johnson), who pays $50 for him. The horse then feigns illness in order to get Parker to return the money and refuse to buy. The horse then reveals to Wilbur that he can talk, and tells him that his name is Ed (Bamboo Harvester, voiced by Allan “Rocky” Lane). Wilbur tries to convince both Carol and Addison that the horse can talk, but Ed refuses to speak around anyone but Wilbur. Soon word spreads around town that Wilbur thinks his horse can talk, and Addison uninvites him from a neighborhood party he is planning. Wilbur laments his predicament to Ed, so hatches a plan for Wilbur to convince Addison through Mr. Reeves that he was trying to make Addison believe he was crazy so that he could back out on the deal. Addison falls for it, and not only decides that Wilbur isn’t crazy and re-invites them to the party, but also knocks $2000 off the selling price of the house. 6/25/21

• 002. The Ventriloquist – 1/12/1961
  • Carol wants a new TV for their room, but is afraid to ask Wilbur. She turns to their neighbor Kay Addison (Edna Skinner) for advice, and she says that her husband usually responds when she is firm with him, but also advises her to feed Wilbur whatever he wants and he’ll be more likely to agree. Meanwhile Wilbur hopes to see his architecture plans for a clubhouse to Addison. When Wilbur has breakfast that morning, Carol brings him a buffet of any type of beverage or food he wants. He still turns her down about the TV, but then reconsiders and says that if he wins the account from Addison, he’ll buy the TV. She advises Wilbur to be firm because that’s what he responds to. While Addison is waiting to meet Wilbur for lunch, he chats with his friend Hal Robbins (Peter Leeds) to whom he becomes accustomed to losing bets. Robbins advises Addison that Wilbur is a wet blanket and a pushover, but Addison says that between Robbins and his wife, he gets enough pushy people and wants someone quiet and unassuming. However, Wilbur comes in displaying an obnoxious personality and manages to spill both the ketchup and a drink on Addison, causing him to storm out. With Kay’s help, another meeting is arranged between Wilbur and Addison. However, it too is nearly ruined when Addison catches Wilbur and Ed having a conversation. Ed tries to cover for it by pretending his voice is Wilbur using his ventriloquist skills. Addison is amazed and tells Robbins about it. Robbins refuses to believe that Wilbur could be talented or amusing, so he and Addison bet whether Wilbur is a ventriloquist or not. When Wilbur comes over, naturally he is unable to perform the trick. He tries to call home for Carol to save him, but Ed, who has been hanging out on the party line, is on there once again. When Wilbur tells him the problem, Ed comes over and pretends to be Wilbur making a bust of Beethoven speak. As a result, Addison finally wins a bet, Wilbur gets the design job, and Carol gets her TV. 6/26/21
• 003. Busy Wife – 1/19/1961
  • Carol is looking for something to do one night, and Kay shows up at the house and invites her to attend a women’s civic meeting where the ladies are lobbying to get new park benches for the local bus stops. Carol is excited to attend, but Roger warns Wilbur that once she starts the club, Wilbur will scarcely see her again. Wilbur doesn’t think she will overdo it, but Roger is quick to offer a $1 bet that it will be Wilbur doing the next round of grocery shopping. Sure enough, Wilbur loses the bet when he winds up at the store and while talking to the clerk Sam (Yuki Shimoda) in the produce department, he spots Roger doing his shopping as well. Despite his best efforts, Roger spots him and collects. Wilbur starts to think that he has been neglecting Carol, so he tries to romance her, but is interrupted when Kay shows up at the house to get her for an emergency meeting. Wilbur then decides that it might help if he takes up painting as a hobby to fill the time, but he has another plan in mind. He tells Carol and Kay that he is going to be painting Mr. Ed, but while they are holding the meeting at their house, a beautiful model named Jane Parker (Donna Douglas) shows up and says she is posing for a Lady Godiva painting. Carol can’t concentrate on the meeting with Jane in a swimming suit outside with Wilbur, so she goes out and tells him immediately that she just resigned from the club. Remarkably this correlates with Wilbur declaring that his painting is finished. When Carol asks what his next hobby will be, he demonstrates that it apparently will be kissing her. Barbara Morrison is fat club member Mabel. 9/7/21
• 004. Kiddy Park – 1/26/1961
  • Roger invites Wilbur to on a fishing trip to Ensenada, Mexico for a few days, and wants it to be men only. Wilbur tries to hint around about the trip to Carol, and even fakes a phone call from Roger so she can ‘overhear’ his conversation, but when the real Roger shows up at the house, he just comes out and tells Carol that he wants the trip to be men only. Carol has no issue with this, but Wilbur so forcefully tries to convince her that he wants her to go along, that she ends up agreeing to come and invites Kay as well. Ed, on the other hand is a different story. He tells Wilbur that it is his birthday, and finally convinces Wilbur that he should also come along. Wilbur is receptive, but Carol thinks this is Wilbur’s way of telling her that he doesn’t want her there. When she starts crying, Wilbur tells Ed that he can’t come after all. Ed is also able to produce tears, which makes him tell Carol that he’s coming after all. More tears from Carol, and Ed is on his way to boarder Mr. Kramer (James Flavin), to whom Wilbur gives very specific instructions about Ed’s TV watching and his other peculiar habits. The couples attempt to leave for their trip, but the women have packed so heavily that they can’t fit everything in the car. While they are rearranging, Wilbur gets a call from Kramer, who tells him that Ed has run away. Wilbur tracks him down to a Kiddy Park, where Ed is giving rides to a young boy (Bobby Buntrock). Wilbur rents a pony from the ticket man (Richard Reeves) and rides him out to talk to Ed, who has no qualms about talking to Wilbur in front of the boy since no one ever believes children. Wilbur finally tells Ed that he can go to Ensenada with them, and tells Carol she can cry if she wants to, but that is how it is going to be. Before they leave, Wilbur gives him a birthday cake, and Ed blows it out into Wilbur’s face. The little boy tells his mother (Karen Norris) that the horse he rode talks, which she attributes to his wild imagination. Dorothy Konrad is the mother in line trying to get her boy on the pony. 9/7/21 
• 005. Stable for Three – 2/2/1961
  • As Wilbur is struggling with his client Mr. Goodwin (Olan Soule), who, at the demands of his wife, keeps changing his requirements for the prints on which Wilbur is working, Wilbur is struggling with Carol because she is demanding that Wilbur tie up Ed. This is because Ed was up all night because of the smoke from Wilbur’s barbecue, so Ed destroys it. It isn’t long before Ed then destroys Roger’s barbecue as well. As punishment Wilbur takes away Ed’s food. In retaliation, a hungry Ed then eats all of the food out of Carol’s vegetable garden while she is out shopping with Kay. Wilbur tries to disguise what Ed did by buying new vegetables and inserting them into the garden. Carol, however, notices that the vegetables aren’t the same ones she planted. She gets furious because Wilbur always takes Ed’s side instead of hers. Roger also winds up in trouble with Kay, when her attempts to butter him up fail, and he won’t let her keeps the stole she bought while she was out shopping. Both wives end up banishing their husbands from the house, so they both wind up in the barn with Mr. Ed. During the night, Ed steals Roger’s blanket and gives it to Wilbur, then sings him a lullaby. When Carol comes out to give Wilbur a kiss goodnight – accidentally kissing Roger – Ed decides to intervene to help with Wilbur’s marriage. When Carol goes over to see Kay, Ed stands outside the window and pretends to be a gangster getting ready to rob the house. The ladies run to get their husbands, but they only find Ed standing by the window. Wilbur convince Carol that Ed has chased away the robbers. Convinced that Ed is a hero, Carol is now happy with Ed and brings Wilbur back home. The next day, Roger goes to return the dress in the box that Kay gave him, but when he opens it up, he finds that it is empty. 3/6/22
• 006. Sorority House – 2/9/1961
  • Roger comes over to ask Wilbur if he will loan Mr. Ed to his alma mater State University to be the mascot of Sigma Nu Delta, since their rival Brighton has stolen their mascot. Ed clearly doesn’t want to go as he keeps nudging Wilbur, so he declines the request. Roger it taken aback since he has promised the horse. He turns to Carol to see if she might be able to convince him. Wilbur tries to talk Ed into it, but Ed won’t budge. He even tries to convince Wilbur that Carol and Roger conspired against him. Wilbur however ultimately decides that he needs to do this favor for Roger. After he lets Roger take him, Wilbur goes over to the university to check on Ed, but finds out from the fraternity leader Willie McIntyre (Michael Monroe) that they’ve hidden him in the steam room so that the Brighton boys won’t find him. Fellow student Hank Oliver (Alex Plasschaert) stand guard outside the steam room, and when Professor Thornhill (Jack Raine) comes to take a steam, they get him to remove his glasses and tell them that he is student ‘Moose’ Jackson (Steve Warren). Wilbur comes to visit Ed in the steam room, and Thornhill nonchalantly acknowledges the horse. Ed is not having a good time, and is worried he’ll get hurt by the students during their joke-playing. Wilbur goes home and feels guilty, and then feels worse when Willie calls with bad news: the Brighton students have stolen Ed. Meanwhile the girls at the Brighton sorority house Alpha Epsilon Mu are hiding Mr. Ed in the basement right under the nose of their chaperone Mrs. Davis (Norma Varden). The girls Linda Rutledge (Carol Byron), Gloria Weems (Claudia Brack), Ann Woods (Victoria James), and Sandy Crane (Reva Rose) are keeping watch over him, but when they leave the room, Ed calls home to Wilbur and reports his location. Wilbur and Roger head to the house, but Mrs. Davis won’t let any men into the place. Wilbur then disguises himself as a woman and is planning to pretend to be a student mother shopping for sororities, but Mrs. David mistakes him for Mrs. Pentecost, a guest lecturer at the university. The girls get word that the Dean has found out where the horse is located, so ‘Mrs. Pentecost’ tells the girl she’ll help them get rid of the horse. Wilbur reunites with Ed, and takes him home. Ed admits it was him who phoned the Dean. Kip King is student Norman Howard. 3/6/22
• 007. Ed the Lover – 2/16/1961
  • Carol is getting a little tired of the amount of hay they’ve been purchasing for Ed to eat, which in fact he is ordering himself. When she and Key hear Wilbur mention that he is designing a beach house for famous Western film director Fred Briggs (Les Tremayne), Kay suggests that they put Ed to work in his motion pictures. When Wilbur finds out from Ed that he has no interest in this, he gets irritated with Carol for suggesting it to Mr. Briggs when he comes to the house. Likewise, Roger gets angry at Kay for interfering in the first place. The two couples spends a very awkward Bridge game together, which only lasts minutes before Kay storms out. When Ed hears all of the strife it is causing with Wilbur and Carol, he calls and makes arrangements for himself to start working on the picture. Wilbur takes credit for this with Carol, and the two make up, then go over to encourage Roger and Kay to make up as well. Things don’t go so well on the set for the first day of shooting with Mr. Briggs and his assistant George (Charles Tannen), particularly when they want a heavyset cowboy named Brannigan (George Barrows) to jump on his back. Ed keeps wandering away during the shot before Brannigan can jump, and then Ed calls for lunch. He also keeps distracting the film’s star horse Daphne. When Wilbur visits the set and sees that neither Ed nor Briggs is happy, he suggest that they call off Ed’s participation and Ed agrees. Briggs later tells Wilbur that he may need to call off the beach house, as his picture may get shut down because Daphne won’t perform. Wilbur realizes that Daphne had a crush on Mr. Ed, so he offers to bring him back to the set. Ed has a few demands about later hours, and lighter cowboys, but he is a sport and goes along with it. Carol comes to visit in time to see the modification of the script: when Brannigan goes to jump on Ed, a much smaller cowboy shoots Brannigan and mounts Ed instead. 7/10/22
• 008. Pageant Show – 2/23/1961
  • Carol and Kate are both looking forward to participating in a pageant parade, but since the line has been tied up at Post house, they didn’t confer and are both dressed up as Carmen. Neither Wilbur nor Roger have any interest in participating, and they plan a golf outing for the same day as the parade. Meanwhile, Wilbur threatens Mr. Ed that he will take his phone away if he continues to join the party lines and tie up the phone. Carol and Kate manage to charm Wilbur by telling him how much he resembles Sir Lancelot, that he finally agrees to go along opposite Carol’s replacement costume as Elaine. Katy threatens to skip the parade altogether and go on a massive shopping spree if Roger won’t go along with her dressed as Don Jose. Mr. Ed finds it laughable that the husbands are so henpecked, but Wilbur tells him that he’s going to go along so they can ride on him. Wilbur catches Mr. Ed leaving the phone off the hook again, so he calls the phone company and Mr. Hibbs (Sid Tomack) comes to remove the phone. Ed threatens to boycott the parade if Wilbur doesn’t give him his phone back, and when he doesn’t get it, Ed starts to play sick and says he can’t go. Although Wilbur protests that Ed is faking, Carol insists that they call a vet and cancel the parade to stay with Mr. Ed. She delivers the news to the Addisons. He continues to fake it until the vet Dr. Connors (William Fawcett) pulls out a giant needle to give him a vitamin shot. Ed suddenly returns to his old self, so Carol calls the Addisons to tell them that the parade is back on. However, Ed then knocks down Dr. Connors, leading him to believe that the horse has a psychological disorder. Parade is back off. Dr. Connors agrees to stay with him, and Wilbur rents a different horse from the stables for them to ride on. Parade back on. Mr. Ed gets jealous and drives the stable horse off. Parade back off. When Carol gives Mr. Ed a big hug and tells him that he had a rough day, Ed decides to not disappoint Carol and go along to the parade, which is back on…this time for final. After the parade, Wilbur tells Ed that if he behaves, he will hook his phone back up, but to his surprise, Mr. Ed has already called and had it re-connected. When Wilbur starts to scold him, Mr. Ed plays sick again. 7/10/22
• 009. The Aunt – 3/2/1961
  • Wilbur is getting ready to enjoy a week’s vacation of rest and relaxion with Carol pampering him the entire time. However, he gets a phone call from his Aunt Martha (Eleanor Audley) who has arrived at the train station for a visit with her parrot Tootsie, who is fond of saying “stick ’em up, it’s a hold up”. Wilbur’s plans are immediately dashed when Aunt Martha wants to be on the go all of the time. She insists on sightseeing all over California and checking out Mexico as well. On the agenda are a date farm, Alvero Street, the Rose Bowl, Disneyland, and Knotts Berry Farm. The Addisons come along on the first excursion, and then Roger gets out of it by faking a stiff neck. Carol is getting particularly annoyed by the exhaustion, Wilbur’s lack of attention, and the fact that Aunt Martha calls him by his childhood nickname “Wee Bee.”  They are out until midnight on one night, and then she mentions that she is allergic to the jasmine tree just outside her window in the guest room, so Wilbur moves into the guest room so she can move into the master bedroom with Carol. Meanwhile, Tootsie is staying in the barn with Mr. Ed, and she is driving him crazy, keeping him up all night with her chattering. He vows revenge, and sure enough the next day, she is missing. Everyone tries to help search for her, and Ed won’t admit that he took her and hid her in the ash can. However, when Ed overhears Wilbur telling the others how Aunt Martha spilled her heart to him and told him how she has had Tootsie for 25 years ever since her husband died, Ed is so touched that he returns Tootsie to the barn. Wilbur deduces that she is very lonely and that her energetic act is just an act, and also that the reason they never received a letter from her before her arrival is because she was afraid that they would turn her down. The wind up having a nice visit, and after they go back home, Ed is so lonely without Tootsie that he makes Wilbur talk to him in her voice so that he can get to sleep. 11/5/22
• 010. The Missing Statue – 3/9/1961
  • Mr. Ed has been making long-distance phone calls to the Plantico Racetrack, which is driving up Wilbur’s phone bill. This and other surmounting bills lead Wilbur to tell Carol that she has to start watching their money and making more sensible purchases. Unbeknownst to him, she has just purchased a frivolous antique statue for $50 that she intends to convert into a lamp. When he finds out about the statue, he immediately takes it to the antique store owner Mr. Phillips (Gage Clark) to return it. Since Phillips has a no return policy, Wilbur has to resort to a sob story and nearly crying to get him to give in and return it. Meanwhile, Carol and Kay cook up the idea to start serving Wilbur fish for every meal of the day as a way to show him that she is saving money. They figure he will give in and tell her to return and buy the statue. To make sure it isn’t sold in the meantime, Kay agrees to buy the statue and hold it until Wilbur changes his mind. When Kay goes to buy it, she finds a customer, Mr. Wood (William Erwin) trying to purchase it. Kay tells him that the statue is one of many in the backroom, so he walks out without purchasing it, and Kay buys it. When Roger finds it in their closet, he recognizes it as the one that Carol had bought, so he too returns it to Mr. Phillips, following Wilbur’s advice to give him a sob story in order to get his money back. Seeing how much Wiblur is suffering with his fish, Carol finally cooks him a nice chicken lunch. He is so relieved that he returns to buy the statue for her again, but this time Mr. Phillips makes him sign a waiver that he will never try and return it. He brings it home to surprise Carol and lays it on the coffee table. She finds it first, and thinks that Kay has brought it over, so she returns it to the Addisons’ closet. Roger sees this and confronts Kay, who drops is back off at the Posts’ house. Carol finds it again and tries to take it back, as Wilbur tries to figure out why it keeps disappearing and appearing. Despite Roger’s headache at this point, he and Kay and Carol are able to deduce that Wilbur bought it back for her. She offers to return it again, but Wilbur says that they need to leave Mr. Phillips alone. Mr. Ed has been working with Joe King (Al Checco), the owner of his niece Little Princess, and giving him advice on how to race her. When Wilbur catches him making the long-distance calls, Ed offers to pay for them since he has placed a bet on his niece and won $100. 11/5/22
• 011. Ed the Witness – 3/16/1961
  • On a trip to Ensenada, Mexico, the Posts and the Addisons, with Mr. Ed in tow, get lost. Mr. Ed, who can speak Spanish, identifies that they are near the town of Cowatsamalalulu, so they head there to have dinner. While dealing with restaurant manager Pepe Garcia (Nacho Galindo), who only has beans to serve them, they hear a crash outside, but by the time they get there, they only find that Ed’s trailer has been hit and the wheel has been knocked off. Nearby policeman Miguel (Roberto Contreras) recommends Mexico’s best mechanic Arturo (Natividad Vacio), who also happens to be his cousin. While Arturo and Wilbur are haggling the price of the job, Mr. Ed identifies the license plate number of the truck that hit the trailer, and it turns out to be Arturo’s truck. Wilbur refuses to pay Arturo for the job since he is the one who hit the car, which leads to him being put in jail by Miguel. While waiting for the judge, Roger tries to find a lawyer for Wilbur. However, when the lawyer Francisco Gomez (Abel Franco) hears that Wilbur’s only witness is a horse, he thinks that Wilbur is loco and abandons the job. Everyone tries to convince Wilbur to simply pay Arturo’s inflated fee so that they can leave. Wilbur expresses his disappointment in Ed that he won’t speak to anyone else in order to stand up for Wilbur. When Judge Hernandez (Vincente Padula) finally arrives, he agrees to hear the case, but again, starts to believe that Wilbur is crazy when he claims that it was Mr. Ed who identified Arturo’s license plate number. Ed then enters the courtroom and shows that he can stomp out any number given to him. When the judge sees his ability, he decides that Wilbur is the one who is telling the truth and finds the case in his favor. 4/4/23
• 012. Ed’s Mother – 3/23/1961
  • While the Posts and the Addisons are out for a drive, they decide to stop by a farm so that Carol can take a photo of Wilbur. The owner of the farm, Z. Dowd (Henry Norell), invites them all to return on Sunday for an auction. Kay is immediately obsessed with getting to the auction, although Roger doesn’t want her to go anywhere near it, as their garage has already filled up with junk that she has bought. Carol poses Wilbur on a the fence to take his picture with a plow horse, but Wilbur falls off the fence. When Ed gets wind of this, he finds it hilarious, but then notices that the plow horse in the picture is his mother. Wilbur rides Ed out to the farm and he visits with his mother, then begs Wilbur to buy her so she no longer has to buy a plow. Wilbur thinks it will be a hard-sell to get Carol to let him buy another horse. He tries to convince her that the two of them can ride together, but Carol is adamant that the do not get another horse. When all hope seems lost, Ed calls Dowd and poses as Wilbur and tells him that he wants to buy the horse. When Wibur finds Ed’s mother in the barn, Wilbur tries to keep Carol from entering the barn, and then hides the horse in Roger’s barn. When Kay still insists on going to the auction, Roger takes her out to the barn to show her how much stuff is out there… only to find the horse. Roger returns the horse to Wilbur right in front of Carol, which causes her to storm off and insist that he take the horse back. Ed says his goodbyes to his mother, but then later he leaves Wilbur a note that he is going ‘home to mother’. Wilbur then insists on going to the auction, which makes it impossible for Roger to refuse to take Kay. At the auction, Down starts the bidding on Ed’s mother and Ed keeps the bidding going on her. Wilbur decides to help Ed get the horse and he wins her for $55. Carol is upset again, but Wilbur tells her that he is going to give her to some family that will make her last year happy. Carol realizes she admires how much he loves animals and is agreeable to it as long as he remains a wife-lover. Ed also insists on giving Wilbur a kiss. Roger accidentally bids on and winds a wagon wheel for $50, the only item that Kay really wanted. Willis Robards and George Boyce are bidders at the auction. 4/4/23
• 013. Ed the Tout – 3/30/1961
  • When Wilbur takes the Sports section of the newspaper from Ed, he notices that Ed has marked his predictions for the horse races, although he has no interest in betting. When Roger sees the marked paper, he assumes that it is Wilbur who marked it and worries that he has a gambling addiction and takes the paper from him. The next morning, Roger is astounded to see that every one of Ed’s picks, many of them longshots, were all accurate. Roger assumes it must be a fluke but asks Wilbur to mark the next day’s winner as well, claiming it is just a scientific experiment. Ed gives Wilbur the winners again, and again Roger is amazed when all eight of picked win again. Meanwhile, Carol and Kay have been attempting to collect money for a charity milk drive for the school. Everyone wants Wilbur to pick the winners again for charity, which so far still sits at the $40 mark, all of which came from the husbands. Roger and Kay are secretly thinking of the millions they could make to embark on the rich life. Ed, however, says he will not gamble for money purely on principal. Wilbur has to tell everyone that he lost his gift for picking the winners, causing Roger to get angry and give him the silent treatment. Wilbur tries to pick the seventh race and circles Devil’s Tail, much to amusement of Ed, who says he has no chance. When Ed overhears Carol and Kay talking about the milk drive charity, he changes his mind and gives Wilbur six of the winners. Everyone is thrilled, and Wilbur and Roger head to the racetrack with the wives. After winning several races, another man (Ben Weldon) overhears how many they’ve won and starts betting with their picks. Soon several members of the crowd follow suit. The racetrack Detective Mr. Weems (Jack Shea) spots what is going on and take Wilbur to talk to the steward (John Eldredge), who wants to know where he got all of tips. When he tells them that the tips come from his horse, and even phones Mr. Ed to have him corroborate, they let him go and tell him that whatever he is doing, he needs to stop it. With everyone waiting on him, he returns and gives them the winner of the sixth race, but it is too late to place a bet. After that, Wilbur has run out of Ed’s picks, but Roger swipes the newspaper from him and sees that he has circled Devil’s Tail. Roger and the wives all put on money on him, but Wilbur tells them that Devil’s Tail can’t win, as he picked that horse. Initially, it does appear that Devil’s Tail will win, but then he ultimately loses. Everyone laments their losses, especially Carol who was hoping to make the money for the charity. Wilbur then tells them that he still has his winnings from the first five races and didn’t bet on Devil’s Tail, so he gives it to the charity. Hank Weaver is the race announcer. 8/18/23
• 014. Ed the Songwriter – 4/6/1961
  • Ed is in a good mood one morning, humming a song as Wilbur trims the bushes. A music producer named Paul Fenton (Jack Albertson) phones and tells him that he is Kay’s brother-in-law and that she recommended Wilbur to help design a new house for him. He arrives at Fenton’s office, finding two musicians named Fuzzy (Kelton Garwood) and Al (Alfred Toigo) who have been waiting outside his door for a week. Wilbur begins humming the tune that Ed was humming that morning, capturing the attention of Denton. He is taken by the song and wants to hear the entire thing. Wilbur can’t remember how it ends or even where he heard it. He goes home and tries to use his bagpipes to help him remember. When Fenton stops by at the house and goes out to the barn to get his prints, he hears Ed humming the song. He excitedly tells Fenton that he has remembered the entire song. Fenton then want lyrics for it, so Wilbur gets to work trying to come up with them. Ed then tells Wilbur that the song is actually called Pretty Little Filly and has full lyrics already. Wilbur calls Fenton and has Ed sing it to him, and Fenton agrees to publish it immediately… but wants the same voice that he heard on the phone. Ed refuses to sing it because he won’t talk – or sing – around anyone but Wilbur. Fenton offers for Roger to invest in the song, but he refuses, as he has bad feelings that Fenton kissed Kay at their wedding before Roger was able to. Just after Wilbur tells Fenton that the original singer refuses to sing, Roger announces that he decided to invest. Fenton comes over to Wilbur’s to plead for him to get the singer, telling Wilbur how the world needs a happy song like Pretty Little Filly. Ed overhears this and comes up with an alternate plan. The next day, Wilbur tells Fenton that he was actually the original singer but can’t sing with people watching. He tells Fenton that he’ll sing it as long as they abandon the 40-piece orchestra. They wind up using Fuzzy and Al and a guitarist and record at the barn. Wilbur lip-synchs in the microphone while Ed sings behind him. After it is all said and done, Wilbur and Ed enjoy listening to Pretty Little Filly on the radio. 8/17/23
• 015. Ed the Stoolpigeon – 4/13/1961
  • Just after Ed was asking Wilbur to adopt him, leading them to discussing their happy little family, Carol and Kay return from a visit from the humane society with a little French Poodle named Pierre. After Ed sees all of the attention that Pierre is getting, including Kay making him his own coat, Ed decides that there’s not enough room for both him and Pierre. Ed wakes up Pierre at 1:00am and gets him to start barking. Addison is furious and wants to call Wilbur, but Kay stops him. Wilbur is also upset up it and spends the next day trying to train the dog not to bark, all the while Ed fusses about how much he likes Pierre. Ed tries the next thing in the middle of the night the next night, but it takes some extra rousing, as Pierre’s training works. Eventually, Ed himself starts to bark, and Pierre follows suit. Wilbur gets up and finds Pierre barking, while Ed pretends to be asleep. The Addisons also come over, and Roger again expresses his irritation. After everyone has gone to bed, Ed calls the police and poses as someone named Mr. Thompson and makes a formal complaint against Pierre. The next morning, Wilbur invites Addison over for kippers for breakfast. Before he arrives, a policeman (Ralph Sanford) comes and issues a warning about the complaint from Thompson. With no Thompson in the neighborhood, Wilbur assumes it was Roger who made the call. Wilbur gives Addison the cold shoulder and takes away his kippers. The pair keep bickering about the dog and start returning gifts that they had once given each other. Even Kay believes that Roger had called the police… until Roger swears on his own bank account. Kay comes over to tell this to Wilbur and Carol, but while she is there, the police officer comes to pick up Pierre after another complaint from “Thompson.” The officer tries to catch Pierre, but he runs into the Addison house. When Ed suggests that the pound might be the best place for Pierre, Wilbur tells him that Pierre may be earmarked as troublesome and never get adopted. Wilbur then feels bad that Pierre may never get adopted, so he confesses that he is Mr. Thompson, admitting that he was jealous. Wilbur tells Ed that nothing would ever come between them. Wilbur tells the police officer that Mr. Thompson is going to call off the complaint. Wilbur goes to retrieve Pierre, who is hiding on Roger’s lap under his newspaper. Wilbur issues an apology to Roger and then takes Pierre home. Later, Wilbur tells Mr. Ed that the Humane Society found Pierre’s actual owner. Mr. Ed is now upset that Pierre is leaving and asks Wilbur to get his new address in case he wants to knit him something. 12/12/23
• 016. Psychoanalyst Show – 4/20/1961
  • Ed has been obsessed with watching Jack LaLanne (himself) and other programs on television, so Wilbur agrees to get Ed a remote control. Kay asks Wilbur if they can take Mr. Ed to see Kay’s niece Peggy so she can ride him again. Peggy has been ill and can’t leave her home in Mountain Springs, so they want to take Ed to see her. Ed is agreeable to see Peggy but doesn’t want to go to Mountain Springs because it sits at 3000 feet above sea level, and Ed had acrophobia. Wilbur finds the notion ridiculous and tells Ed that he won’t be getting a remote control after all. Wilbur starts to tell Roger that Ed won’t be able to go see Peggy, using an injured foot as an excuse. Wilbur finally admits to the Addisons that Ed has acrophobia, but Roger and Kay think that Wilbur is being stubborn about lending his horse. Wilbur thinks that the phobia might be resolved by hypnotism, so he tries to hypnotize Ed with a watch, but has no results and ends up getting caught by Carol. She starts to worry about Wilbur’s sanity and asks Roger to talk to him. When Roger mentions psychiatry to Wilbur, he thinks it would be a great idea for Ed, so he calls up Wilbur’s friend Dr. Bruce Gordon (Richard Deacon) and asks him to come over to talk to his horse. Wilbur talks Mr. Ed into speaking to the doctor, telling him to talk to him through closed doors so that the doctor will think that he’s talking to Wilbur. Dr. Gordon thinks that Wilbur is nuts right off the bat when he tells him that Mr. Ed can talk. Ed does talk through the door about his fears of heights, telling the doctor that their family curse began when his grandfather fell off a cliff. Gordon humors Wilbur and pretends that he’s talking to the horse while pretending he thinks he is talking to Wilbur. Dr. Gordon tells Wilbur that overcoming a fear of heights is as simple as doing the thing that he fears. Gordon is anxious to write a paper on this half architect, half horse. Wilbur tries to protest but is just happy to get the diagnosis on the fear of heights. Ed still doesn’t want to go up into Mountain Springs, but Wilbur has him go for a walk while blindfolded. He finally gets Ed to take off the blindfolded and is then accused by a couple named Fred (William Boyett) and Bernice (Allison Daniell) of being a Peeping Tom as they are necking in a car nearby. Instead of looking over the edge, Ed keeps making comments at the couple, causing Fred to demand that they beat it and threatens to beat up Wilbur. Ed then uses his voice to make it sound like there are a gang of people watching them, so Fred and Bernice take off. Ed looks over and sees the San Fernando Valley below them and finally gets over his fear. 12/13/23
• 017. A Man for Velma – 4/27/1961
  • With Carol suffering with a sprained wrist, and Kay unable to cook well, Wilbur decides to surprise Carol by hiring a temporary housekeeper named Velma (Elvia Allman) to do the cooking while she is injured. When Velma arrives, everyone quickly learns how man-hungry she is after just breaking up with the Johnsons’ butler Henry Gibson (Don Brodie). However, they also quickly find out what a fabulous cook she is, with huge raves from Wilbur and Carol, as well as from the Addisons, who keep showing up for dinner. Even Ed is ecstatic when she makes him a gourmet carrot pizza for dinner. When Carol’s hand recovers, and Velma is coming closer to leaving their employ, Wilbur asks her to stay on permanently. Unfortunately, with no prospects in this job to meet a man, Velma declines to stay. She then receives a phone call from a man named Walter, who claims to be her secret admirer. It turns out that Walter is Ed, and in an effort to get her to stick around, he tells her that he will phone her again the next day. The ruse works, and Velma stays, but when Ed fails to call her the next day, Velma packs up and starts to leave. Getting wind of this, Ed then immediately calls her again, apologizing for the delay, but telling her that he is very shy. Ed offers to call her again the next day, but Velma insists that they meet that night, so Ed has no choice but to agree to meet her on the patio. That night, she gets all dressed up and heads to the patio, where Ed greets her from the barn. He tells her that he is too shy to come into the light, but she insists. Roger happens to come by and closes the door to Ed’s stall, so Velma spots him and thinks that it is Roger who is posing as Walter. She gets angry and says she’s not that kind of woman, and then marches over and tells Kay that her husband is coming on to her. She doesn’t think it is feasible until she thinks about how much Walter enjoyed her cooking, then attacks Roger and gives him a black eye, packs up, and starts to go home to her mother. Roger goes over to the Post home to yell at Velma for the trouble she caused, and while he is there, she gets another call from ‘Walter’, who apologizes for leaving so abruptly the night before. When Roger mentions that it was only him and Mr. Ed who was there on the patio the previous night, Wilbur finally realizes that it is Ed who is making the calls. He goes out to the barn and hangs up Ed’s phone. Velma starts to leave again, but is stopped when Henry shows up and asks for her to come back to him. After Wilbur berates Ed for playing with her emotions, Ed tells him that it was him who called Henry and warned him that Velma was going to go off with another man if he didn’t come and reconcile with her. At their next dinner, Kay tries her hand at preparing a meal for everyone, but it is so impossible to cut, they all decide to go out to a restaurant to celebrate her first cooked meal. 4/20/24
• 018. Ed’s New Shoes – 5/4/1961
  • Wilbur announces to Carol that they have been selected to have their house photographed for Home Beautiful magazine. Carol is naturally ecstatic, but also panics that they only have one day to fix up everything they’ve been putting off. When the Addisons get wind of the article, Roger decides to dress in a tuxedo and Kay wants to go shopping for a new dress so they can get into the pictures as well. Wilbur tells Carol that he needs to take Ed out to get new shoes, but she insists that they start working on all of the chores. Although Mr. Ed has already made an appointment to get new shoes from Mr. Kramer (James Flavin) at the Tally-Ho Stables. Wilbur tells him that it will have to wait. Ed insists that he has a date with a beautiful chestnut filly. Wilbur finally agrees to take a break from fixing the fence to run him over to Kramer’s. When they arrive, the stable hand Axel (John Qualen) tells them that Mr. Ed doesn’t need new shoes and that Mr. Kramer would be ripping them off if he sold them to Wilbur. Kramer walks in and overhears this, and fires Axel for costing him the sale. Wilbur decides to take Axel’s advice and not buy the shoes, and also feels bad about him getting fired. In order to make sure Axel isn’t out of work and to get some help with the house, he brings Axel home to assist with the chores, even though Axel insists that he gets fired from every job he starts. It soon becomes apparent why, when he immediately shatters the glass patio door, spills the charcoal for the barbecue, snaps a broom in half, and knocks the door off its hinges. Ed thinks that Wilbur should fire him, especially since it was Axel’s fault he didn’t get his new shoes. Just when the Posts finally get everything cleaned up for the magazine reporter, Axel puts too much lighting fluid on the barbecue and sets the grill on fire, causing smoke to billow into the house. In the process of putting the fire out, Wilbur becomes covered in soot, while Axel accidentally sprays Roger in his tuxedo with water. They also manage to pull down curtains, topple lamps, and cause more havoc inside the house, just as the reporter Miss Brooks (Lisabeth Field) arrives… and immediately turns around and leaves. Before Wilbur can fire him, Axel leaves a goodbye note as well as his gold watch to help pay for his damages. Wilbur feels terrible again, so he returns to the Tally-Ho to catch up with Axel, who has gone to say goodbye to the old horses he tended. He finds that Kramer has asked Axel to come back to work, as the horses have refused to eat ever since he left. Wilbur acts like he wants to hire Axel, leading to a bidding war that results in Axel getting $2.00 an hour from Kramer. Axel later mails Ed a brand-new set of horseshoes. 4/20/24

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