The Terrible Catsafterme

SEASON 1 – Fox

Created by Loren Bouchard

Theme song: “Bob’s Burger’s Theme” by Loren Bouchard

• 001. Human Flesh – 1/9/2011
  • After having to close down his burger shop Bob’s Burgers numerous times for fires and infestation, Bob Belcher (H. Jon Benjamin) prepares for the re-re-re-opening at its location in the seaside town of Seymour’s Bay just down the street from an amusement park featuring the famous Wonder Wharf amusement park. His wife Linda (John Roberts) and their children Tina (Dan Mintz), Gene (Eugene Mirman), and Louise (Kristen Schaal) assist – but mostly hinder – at the restaurant. The date is September 3, and Bob has forgotten his and Linda’s anniversary, but she naively thinks that a surprise is coming. They are also visited by health inspectors Hugo (Sam Seder) and Ron (Ron Lynch), who find a list of violations while observing the kitchen. However the real reason they have come is because Louise brought in a hamburger and told the class it was made from human flesh. Hugo happens to have once been engaged to Linda and was then left by her to marry Bob. He is bitter and still in love with her, so he shuts down the restaurant for their big opening weekend while the burgers are inspected, which causes a picketing mob to form outside the restaurant. Ron reminds Hugo that they have the ability to test the meat in their van laboratory and talks him out of trying get revenge. Mort (Andy Kindler), the proprietor of the It’s Your Funeral crematorium next door, where they supposedly get their meat from, helps Bob address the crowd. A bus comes by with an Adventurous Eaters club that are willing to pay $50 a burger for the human flesh, so Bob tries to keep Ron quiet that the meat test as 100% beef. The restaurant has a lucrative weekend after all, and they all go for a ride on the Ferris Wheel. 5/30/21

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SEASON 1 – ABC

Theme song: “Angela” by Bob James

• 001. Like Father, Like Daughter – 9/12/1978
  • At Manhattan’s Sunshine Cab Company’s fleet garage in Manhattan, we meet taxi drivers Alex Reiger (Judd Hirsch), Tony Banta (Tony Danza), an aspiring prizefighter, Bobby Wheeler (Jeff Conaway), an aspiring actor, Elaine Nardo (Marilu Henner), mechanic Latka Gravas (Andy Kaufman), and cranky dispatcher Louie De Palma (Danny DeVito). Alex’s fare John Burns (Randall Carver) accompanies him back to the garage to make change for his fare and discovers that the payphone returns any money put into it, so everyone takes advantage to make free calls. Alex decides to call his daughter Cathy (Talia Balsam) whom he hasn’t seen in fifteen years after being asked by his ex-wife Phyllis to let her new step-father raise her. When he finds out that Cathy will be flying from Rio to Portugal, stopping in Miami along the way, he and his friends drive down to greet her. Although they only get five minutes together, they are able to connect and promise to keep in touch. John ends up getting a job as a driver. 5/29/14

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SEASON 1 – ABC

Theme music: “Rock Around the Clock” written by Max C. Freedman and James E. Myers (as Jimmy DeKnight) and performed by Bill Haley & The Comets (new version recorded in 1973). Closing theme was “Happy Days Theme” written by Norman Gimbel with Charles Fox, performed by Jim Haas.

NOTE: This series is based on an segment entitled “Love and the Television Set” – later re-titled for syndication as “Love and the Happy Days” – on episode #70 of “Love, American Style”

• 000. Unaired Pilot – 1973
  • Potsie sets up Richie with a girl named Mary Lou Milligan who is said to be easy. Richie has a lot of questions on how to score with this girl, but when he joins her on one of her babysitting jobs, they end up just kissing a couple of times and playing chess. When the other guys assume that he has gone all the way with her, he lets them believe it – but later feels guilty and asks his father for advice. He ends up telling his friends that he had an innocent evening with her, and she tells him that the rumors about her being loose are untrue. Fonzie forgives Richie for the lie, but is a little disturbed that he had set up a date with her based on Richie’s testimony. NOTE: This pilot is nearly identical to the premiere episode All the Way, with some minor changes. The biggest difference is that Joanie is portrayed by Louise “Wish” Foley. 4/19/21

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SEASON 1 – Showtime

Created by Abby McEnany and Tim Mason

Theme music by Ethan Stoller

• 001. 180 Almonds – 12/8/2019
  • Abby McEnaney (herself) is a 45-year-old self-described ‘fat, queer dyke’ living in Chicago and struggling with depression and self-loathing. She sits down with a therapist named Dr. Franklin (Nancy McCabe-Kelly) and tells her that she plans to kill herself in 180 days if things don’t improve. She is counting out the days by laying out the same number of almonds and throwing one away every day. As she tells Dr. Franklin her thoughts, she realizes that Dr. Franklin has died in her chair. Abby has lunch with her sister Alison (Karin Anglin) and tells her what happened. When the waitress Chris (Theo Germaine) flirts with Ali, who is straight with kids, Abby expresses that she thinks that the waitress is gorgeous, Ali encourages her to ask her out. After they leave the restaurant, Ali returns and gives Chris Abby’s number. Later, while Abby is playing charades with her group of friends, Chris calls for Abby and asks her out. When Abby mentions that she is an attractive woman, Chris clarifies that he is a transgender man. Abby and Chris meet at a restaurant, where Abby spots actress Julia Sweeney (herself). Abby tells Chris that her Saturday Night Live characters Pat ruined her life, as people often referred to Abby as Pat, whose character’s sex was ambiguous. Chris, who is 22 and is not familiar with Pat, encourages her to tell Julia about how she ruined her life. Chris decides to talk to Julia herself, but when Julia comes over to meet her, Abby faints on the floor. Flashing back to September 1995, Abby attends the house party of her girlfriend, Alexis (E.R. Fightmaster), and when she walks in, a guy named Chad (Matthew Quattrocki), the boyfriend of Alexis’s roommate Charlotte (Maggie Scrantom), calls her Pat. She confronts him, and upon meeting Charlotte, tells her what her boyfriend said, leading to a big fight between her and Chad. As Abby starts making out with Alexis, she wakes up in the present with Chris and Julia looking over her. Once she is up, Julia joins Abby and Chris for drinks, and Julia apologizes for the pain she experienced due to Pat, and Abby and Julia both do impressions of the character as Chris looks on in puzzlement. Julia gives Abby her number and offers to make her dinner, also saying that she has a good feeling about Abby and Chris. After walking back to Abby’s apartment, Chris invites himself up to her room, so she takes five minutes to clean up the apartment before letting him up. As Abby prattles on, Chris eats one of Abby’s almonds and then kisses Abby. She tells Chris that he ate one of the days of her life, and the proceeds to explain the story of the almonds. Celeste Pechous is Abby’s best friend Campbell. Alex Moss is Brad, the guy at the entrance to the party. Other Charades friends are Georgia (Alison Gates), Shauna (Shauna Marino), Chandler (Chandler Marino), Nancy (Nancy L. Coleman), Renee (Renee Lehocky), Ann (Anne Lehocky). 5/24/26

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SEASON 1 – CBS

Theme music: “The Love Nest” (from the musical comedy “Mary”) by Louis A. Hirsch

NOTE: This series is a continuation of the radio show “The Burns and Allen Show” which aired between 1936-1950. This was preceded by their show “The Adventures of Gracie” which aired 1934-1936, and the team’s appearances on “The Guy Lombardo Show” between 1932-1934 and Rudy Vallee’s “The Fleischmann’s Yeast Hour” in 1932.

• 000. Pilot – UNAIRED
  • George Burns does a monologue about being a straight man, then he introduces his wife Gracie Allen, their neighbors Harry and Blanche Morton, and Bill Goodwin, the world’s most loved announcer (as he kisses two girls and a cop). Gracie is visited by a salesman selling encyclopedias, and in addition to nearly driving him crazy with her banter, she keeps smashing his hat. George introduces the singing act who perform Do the Huckabuck, and then attempts a duet of the song April Showers. Gracie visits Blanche and the two decide to take the husbands to see the new Gregory Peck movie, but Harry doesn’t want to go with Gracie because she often embarrasses him. George reminds Harry that he has two tickets to the fights so they need to get out of going to a movie. He asks Bill to take the wives, but Bill is shaken up by near plane mishap where he radios for help but can’t help but talking about ‘Dr. Wilson’s toothpaste.’ George and Harry then tell the wives that they have been invited to Bill’s house to play cards. In order to keep them from wanting to join them, they invent a game called Kleebob, which has rules that are indecipherable, hoping that it will discourage them from joining. However, Gracie seems to understand the game since George has tried the same ploy before with a game called ‘Mogo’. 8/24/14 (online)

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