The Terrible Catsafterme

SEASON 1 – CBS

TV series is based on the 1970 film “M*A*S*H,” which was based on the novel “MASH: A Novel About Three Army Doctors” by Richard Hooker

Developed by Larry Gelbart and Gene Reynolds

Theme song: “Suicide Is Painless (Instrumental Version)” written for the film by Johnny Mandel 

• 001. Pilot – 9/17/1992
  • In Uijeongbu, South Korea in 1959, the Mobile Army Surgical Hospital – aka MASH – 4077th unit is run by Lt. Col. Henry Blake (McLean Stevenson), who is assisted by Corporal Walter “Radar” O’Reilly (Gary Burghoff), who is seemingly one step ahead of Henry’s requests every time. His head surgeon is Major Frank Burns (Larry Linville), who although married, is having an affair with head nurse Major Margaret “Hot Lips” Houlihan (Loretta Swit). Burns lives in a tent known as “The Swamp” with doctors Captain Benjamin Franklin “Hawkeye” Pierce, Captain Trapper John McIntire (Wayne Rogers), and Captain Oliver Harmon “Spearchucker” Jones (Timothy Brown). After a hard night of surgery, during which they bicker with both Frank and Margaret, Hawkeye and Trapper return to the Swamp where they are tended to by their local Korean houseboy Ho-Jon (Patrick Adiarte). They receive mail from home, Trapper from his wife, and Hawkeye from his alma mater in Maine. However this means they need to raise $2000 for a deposit and transportation to get him there. They come with the idea to host a party and raffle to win a weekend pass into Tokyo, and the date with a nurse. Hawkeye has been flirting with the engaged Lt. Maria “Dish” Schneider (Karen Philipp) and manages to talk her into being the date. Henry agrees to issue the passes initially, but when Hawkeye and Trapper get in a fight with Frank, he rescinds his offer and tells them they can no longer have the party. They also find out he will be off base having dinner with Brigadier General Hamilton Hammond  (G. Wood) the night the party is scheduled for. Radar tricks Henry into signing two passes as planned and they move forward with the party. In order to get Frank out of the picture, they drug him and wrap him like a patient. During the party, Margaret becomes suspicious and phones General Hammond, with whom she once had an affair. The event raises $1800, and Hawkeye rigs the raffle so that the winner is the unit chaplain Lt. Father Francis John Patrick Mulcahy (George Morgan). Margaret finds Frank and wakes him just as Henry and General Hammond return. They are both ready to have Hawkeye and Trapper arrested, but then incoming wounded are announced and they ask to wait until after surgery to be arrested. They enlist General Hammond to assist in surgery, and he is so impressed with their work, he warns Henry not to lose them as surgeons. Odessa Cleveland is Lt. Ginger Bayliss. John Orchard is Capt. “Ugly John” Black. Linda Meiklejohn is Lt. Leslie Scorch. Laura Miller is Knocko. Bruno Kirby is Pvt. Lorenzo Boone. Jamie Farr is the speaker announcer. 11/8/20

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SEASON 1 – ABC

Created by Seaman Jacobs, Ed James, and Jim Barnett

Theme song written by William Lava and Irving Taylor

• 001. Scourge of the West – 9/14/1965
  • Near the end of the Civil War, bumbling Private Wilton Parmenter (Ken Berry), a member of a Quartermaster corp and a proud Philadelphia military family, is sent to do the General’s (Barry Kelley) laundry. Along the way, he accidentally sneezes and causes a charge that ultimately leads to a Union Victory, earning Parmenter the nickname “The Scourge of Appomattox.” His family attends his ceremony where he is promoted to Captain, and awarded a Medal of Honor, followed by a Purple Heart, after being pricked with the Medal of Honor. He is also assigned to take over assigned to the remote Fort Courage. Upon his arrival there, he meets Sgt. Morgan Sylvester O’Rourke (Forrest Tucker), Corporal Randolph Agarn (Larry Storch), and Private Hannibal Shirley Dobbs (James Hampton), the bugler who can only play two songs. He also meets “Wrangler” Jane Angelica Thrift (Melody Patterson), the young attractive owner of the Trading Post and postmaster, who takes an instant liking to him. The men seem rather inept, especially when Agarn immediately fires the cannon into the lookout tour causing it – and the lookout Trooper Vanderbilt (Joe Brooks) – to collapse. O’Rourke and Agarn secretly run “O’Rourke Enterprises,” which makes money by selling war relics to tourists. They have also established peace with the Hekawi tribe, and often work with them on money-making ventures. Through their manipulation, the F troop is also collection rations for thirty men when they actually only have seventeen. Other than the Shug tribe, F troop sees very little action, but when they get word that Lieutenant Jefferson Hawkes (Jay Sheffield) is being sent by the Inspector General to check out the camp, O’Rourke and Agarn work with the Hekawi Chief Wild Eagle (Frank DeKova) to fake an attack to make it look like they are busy. They are instructed to attack when the cannon is fired. The defer to the elderly Roaring Chicken (Edward Everett Horton) on how to do a War Dance, but when they can’t figure one out, Agarn tutors them on how to do one. Meanwhile the Shug Indian Chief (Henry Brandon), decides to attack the fort for real. Just after the arrival of Hawkes, the Shug attack, and between Wrangler Jane’s crack shooting, Parmenter’s bumbling, and the name recognition of Parmenter as being the “Scourge of the West,” the Shug retreat, making it appear that Parmenter is a big hero. Later when Parmenter sets off the cannon for Retreat, the Hekawi make their fake attack. Alan Hewitt is Colonel Malcolm. 11/7/20

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SEASON 1 – ABC

Created by Barry Kemp

Theme music composed by John Morris.

• 001. Kelly and the Professor – 2/28/1989
  • Coach Hayden Fox (Craig T. Nelson) works as the coach of the Minnesota State Screaming Eagles football team, aided by assistant coaches Luther Van Dam (Jerry Van Dyke) and student Michael “Dauber” Dybinski (Bill Faggerbakke). He is in a long-distance relationship with TV sportscaster Christine Armstrong (Shelly Fabares), whom he sees whenever she is in town from the Twin Cities. His daughter Kelly (Clare Carey) has recently decided to attend the school, after moving from Ohio, where she had lived with her mother Beth for the fourteen previous years following her parents’ divorce. As Hayden and Luther try to deal with an overweight player named Fred Webb (Travis McKenna) who is trying to slim down eleven pounds to 290, Kelly mentions to her father that she is going on a date with one of the college professors. Although Kelly demands that he trust her, Hayden can’t help but seek out the professor by having Dauber get Kelly’s schedule to figure out which professor it might be. By eliminating all of the females on the list, Hayden determines in must be English Professor John Sterling (Alan Rosenberg), so Hayden pays him a threatening visit. Sterling is apologetic and fearfully promises not to go forward with the date. The next night when Hayden has Kelly over for dinner, she mentions that the date went well, so Hayden immediately leaves the house and heads to the university to threaten Sterling again. Kelly follows him and reveals that she did not go out with Sterling, and in fact , the professor she dated wasn’t one of hers. Although Kelly still refuses to reveal the actual professor, she and Hayden agree to work on trusting each other more. Karl Wiedergott is a student. NOTE: Although it is never stated, Minnesota State is assumed to be located in Mankato, Minnesota. NOTE: This is the second episode to be filmed after the pilot, and second sequentially as far as storyline, but aired as the first episode. 11/7/20

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SEASON 1 – CARTOON NETWORK

Created by George Lucas

The initial film and the TV series are based on the “Star Wars” films, falling chronologically between the prequel films “Attack of the Clones” and “Revenge of the Sith”

Opening them composed by John Williams

• 000. Star Wars: The Clone Wars – 8/10/2008
  • NOTE: Although ultimately released as a theatrical film, this production was originally produced as three episodes of the series. Jedi Knights Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi lead a Republic clone army against the Separatist droid army on the planet Christophsis. Anakin is reluctantly assigned a female Padawan named Ahsoka Tano, and through her cunning, they are able to win the battle. Meanwhile Jabba the Hutt’s (Kevin Michael Richardson) son Rotta (David Acord) has been kidnapped, and Count Dooku (Christopher Lee) of the Separatists works toward orchestrating it to look as if the Jedis are responsible, in order to ally with the Hutt family and gain control of the galaxy’s Outer Rim. Jedi Master Yoda assigns Anakin and Ahsoka to rescue Rotta from the jungle planet Teth, and Obi-Wan to head to the planet Tattooine to negotiate a treat with Jabba. Count Dooku’s apprentice Asajj Ventriss and his army ambush Anakin and Ahsoka upon their arrival, but they are able to work their way to the mountaintop monastery where the sick Rotta is being held. Dooku meets with Jabba to try to convince him to join the Separatists and tells Jabba that the Jedis plan to kill him and attack the Hutts. Anakin and Ahsoka escape the trap on Teth, and along with R2-D2, head toward Tattooine. Anakin’s secret wife Padme Amidala worries for Anakin’s safety, and unable to reach Jabba, she meets with Jabba’s uncle Ziro, who refuses to believe that the Jedi have nothing to do with the kidnapping and imprisons Amidala, after she hears Ziro admit that he is working with Dooku and had helped arrange the kidnapping. She tricks her captor into receiving a transmission from C-3PO, who then sends help for her. Dooku meets up with Anakin and demands he turn over Rotta, and they battle with light sabers. Dooku thinks that he kills Rotta, but Anakin reveals that Rotta is actually with Ahsoka, who is attacked by MagnaGuards. As she defeats them, Anakin faces Jabba who threatens to kill him. Even though Ahsoka beings back Rotta, Jabba still plans to kill them both… until Amidala’s transmission comes through showing Ziro admitting to the kidnapping. Jabba promises to punish Ziro, and agrees to the treaty with the Republic, asking Anakin to bring Dooku to justice. Dooku reports to the Emperor about the failure of the plan, but the Emperor still maintains that the tide of war is still in their favor. Yoda and Obi-Wan arrive to bring Anakin and Ahsoka back home. Samuel L. Jackson is the voice of Mace Windu. 10/18/17

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SEASON 1 – NBC

Theme song: “Time for You” by The Tories

• 001. A Side of Chile – 9/24/1998
  • Jesse Warner (Christina Applegate) is a single mother living in Buffalo, New York, raising her young son “Little” John (Eric Lloyd) while working for her father John (George Dzundza) at a German bar. She lives with her brother, John Jr. (John Lehr), who has voluntarily decided to remain silent, and Darren (David DeLuise) comes to stay with her as well. An attractive new neighbor named Diego Vasquez (Bruno Campos) asks Jesse out on a date, and she tries her best to refuse him despite having a very obvious crush on him. She agrees to do laundry with him, and they end up kissing and falling asleep in the car all night. She tells him that she has to break it off with him because she is so busy with life – but she truly is just afraid of losing him like she did her ex-husband. John Jr., without speaking, convinces her to go see him. Meanwhile, Darren enters a get-rich scheme by purchasing 8000 garden gnomes, but when they arrive, he finds they are unpainted. Liza Snyder plays Linda. Jennifer Milmore is Carrie. Fred Stoller is the delivery man Fred. Christopher Darga is the sleazy bar patron. 10/21/14

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