SEASON 1 – NBC
Created by Aaron Ruben
Theme song by Earle Hagen
- 001. Diana, Substitute Mother – 4/14/1982
- At Millard Fillmore High School in Los Angeles, a student named Ginger Peterson (Cindy Fisher) follows British English teacher Diana Swanson (Lynn Redgrave) into the teachers’ cafeteria to return a book from her. This arouses the ire of the vice principal Mr. Brody (Norman Bartold), who is a stickler for the rules about students being in the teachers’ area. Both Diana and fellow teacher Gwen Edwards (Van Nessa Clarke) are much less concerned. The express their annoyance at Mr. Brody to the school principal Ben Cooper (Norman Fell), who is much more diplomatic but suggests that the rules should be followed and that the teachers shouldn’t get too close to the students. Later, while Miss Swanson works on choosing the winner of the Spring essay contest, Heroes: Past and Present, she is visited by the custodian Mr. Pafko (Richard Karron), who suggests that if he fixed her desk, he might be considered a hero himself. She also is visited by science teacher Michael Dreyfuss (Adam Arkin), who asks her out on a date. She has to decline because she is spending the evening with her apartment neighbor David (Mark Metcalf) on their laundry date. Ginger also stops by in hopes of finding out won the contest, and Miss Swanson tells her that it is her. Ginger is thrilled, until she finds out that there will be an awards ceremony for the parents of the winners, and she suddenly seems distressed. Miss Swanson tells her that if there is something bothering her, her door is always open. Miss Swanson later finds out from the gossipy school secretary, Lois McCardle (Kit McDonough) tells her that Ginger’s parents are separated and on their way to a divorce. That evening, while Diana is on her date with David at her apartment, Ginger shows up with her suitcases ready to move in. She is upset that her mother has run off on a date, while her father is living in New York. She didn’t even have the opportunity to tell her mother about her award. Miss Swanson tells her that she had better go home, as her mother would worry about her. Ginger slinks off, but on Monday morning, she still hasn’t shown up at home, and her mother (Sally Kemp) is now in Mr. Cooper’s office worried sick. Ginger had left a note that she was going to stay with Miss Swanson, the only person who cared about her. Diana feels terrible, while Mrs. Swanson blames her for not caring enough to let her stay with her. Mr. Cooper lectures her that this is why it is best to not get involved with her students. He later feels bad and stops by her apartment that evening to try and make her feel better, telling her a tale about a time he got close to a student, who used his advice to win money at the track and didn’t share with him. Mr. Cooper gets a phone call from the police, telling him that a girl fitting Ginger’s description has been last seen boarding a bus out of town. As Diana becomes even more worried, Ginger shows up at her door and tells her that she was headed to New York to visit her father in New York but then turned back when she realized that he too was probably just as damaged by the divorce as her mother was. She had already stopped at home to let her mother know that she is back. Ginger realizes that it is her parents’ decision to get divorced and that she had better learn to accept it. 2/21/25
- 002. The Dreyfuss Affair – 4/21/1982
- Mr. Brody is up in arms because he had to send two girls home for inappropriate dress at school. He asks Miss Swanson to help establish a dress code since she is from conservative England, but she explains that they are starting to wear wild clothing there too. Meanwhile, a student named Victoria (Heidi Bohay) is failing Mr. Dreyfuss’s Science class, and with an exam coming up that could make or break her grade, she asks if she can take it after the other students. He is unwilling to give her a break because she hasn’t taken the class seriously, but she tells him that if she doesn’t pass the class, she might not get the car that she is expecting for her birthday. When he still refuses, she concocts a scheme to meet with him after class and throw her arms around him, just before her friend Debbie (Leslie King) barges into the room to witness Victoria and Mr. Dreyfuss in each other’s arms. Victoria times the ruse perfectly and then report his ‘actions’ to Mr. Cooper. When he is called into to defend himself from their accusations, he is so angry at being duped that he says that he shouldn’t have to defend himself from such ridiculous claims. Mr. Cooper tells him that he will have to investigate and report it to the superintendent and suspend him in the meantime. The other teachers are all outraged, knowing that Mr. Dreyfuss would never do such a thing. Diana goes to see Mr. Cooper and tells him that he needs to do something, and he tells her that he has been trying to get Dreyfuss on the phone so that he can defend himself, while the school board tells him that he has 24 hours to prove Dreyfuss innocent, while Victoria’s father is telling him that has 24 hours to prove him guilty. Diana goes to see Dreyfuss and confront him on why he isn’t defending himself. He tells her that he was too angry to be put on trial in front of Victoria, but also second guesses himself since he his thoughts might sometimes drift to inappropriate places with the girls in his class. They both agree that it would better if they could get Debbie and Victoria apart to get their stories. The fact that girls always stick together gives Diana an idea. She calls Debbie to her room and tells her that she admires the way that she has acted as witness for Victoria. She also tells Debbie that she is in a similar situation with Mr. Cooper, but that she can never catch him in front of a witness. Debbie says that she will act as a witness by barging in on them just like she did with Victoria. Diana the asks to see Mr. Cooper at the end of the day and then stalls him until Debbie can barge into the room. Diana throws her arm around Cooper just as Debbie comes in, and then Debbie tells Cooper that this is exactly how they trapped Mr. Dreyfuss. Debbie admits it but says that Victoria threatened her to maintain the story or she’d get her kicked out of school. Cooper says that she won’t be kicked out and asks her to return tomorrow so that she can give him the real story. Cooper is so pleased with Miss Swanson’s investigative work that he gives her a hug… just as Lois walks into his office. 2/21/25
- 003. Cooper’s Grab for Gusto – 4/28/1982
- Michael joins Lois, Gwen, and Diana for lunch, where they are discussing who they think the sexiest teacher in the school is. Surprisingly, Diana says that it is Mr. Cooper. When Cooper comes into the lunchroom, they are about to tell him about it, but he is already too distraught because his friend and fellow school principal from Jackson High, Ed Wynecoop, has passed away unexpectedly. He is especially upset because Ed was only 51, ate right, and took care of himself, but died while doing the simple task of answering the phone. Cooper decides to go see his doctor (Bill Zuckert) to get a physical. The doctor understands why he is suddenly worried, but tells him that at his age, he should be working less and living life to the fullest. Back at school, Diana is worried about Cooper when Lois tells him that he has been feeling down and going home to an empty house since his wife is out of town. Mr. Brody overhears the conversation and says that Cooper is feeling down due to his lack of exercise. When Cooper returns to school, he does in fact delegate more responsibilities to his vice principal Brody, who immediately starts giving all of the teachers extra duties. He also arranges an earthquake drill during their lunch and forces everyone to get under the tables. He also starts to consider uniform assignments for the teachers and works on school traffic flow by making some of the hallways one-way. Cooper lets everything take place but clearly doesn’t like it when Brody attempts to sit at his desk. In order to cheer up Cooper, Lois tells him about how Diana chose him as the sexiest man in the school, due to his quiet masculinity and overall maturity. Diana also wants to cheer up Cooper so that he will take his duties back over from Brody, so she invites him to have dinner at her apartment since his wife is out of town. Cooper considers this, as he thinks Diana might want to have an affair, and ultimately, he accepts the offer when she tells him that life is for the living and that he should go for the gusto. That evening, he shows up at her apartment, has a martini, and starts to loosen up. Nearly everything she says to him can be construed as sexual, and he comes closer an closer to making his move. As she tells him how much she needs him, meaning as a principal, the doorbell rings and interrupts the almost intimate moment. A large group of teachers all pour into her apartment to tell him what a pain Mr. Brody has been and that they want him back, saying that they need a principal and not a warden. Cooper laughs at himself for the mistake he nearly made with Diana, then thanks everyone for being there for him. He also thanks Diana for saving from making a fool of himself. He says that he is back and will grab all of the gusto that he can. 6/12/25
- 004. Quote, Unquote – 5/5/1982
- Students Jeremy Stewart (Timothy Murphy) and Amy Kelly (Amanda Wyss) come to see Miss Swanson about an article they are doing about her in the school literary magazine. Although she has given them the basic facts of her life, they are looking for something juicier to add… so they ask her about her feelings on sex and living together before marriage. She tries to be diplomatic in her answers and admits that if she had a daughter, she wouldn’t want him living with a boy but would hope that it would ultimately be up to the person’s conscience. She says she’s not in favor of casual sex but admits that the kids today probably know more about it than she does. She has to rush off to a teachers’ meeting before she can really elaborate on her answers. Jeremy and Amy, however, interpret her attitude as being “If it feels right, it is alright.” When her colleagues show her the finished article after it has been published, Diana is furious that she was so blatantly misrepresented, even if her quotes are verbatim to what she said into their tape recorder. Mr. Brody is aghast about a mild love poem in the magazine before even seeing Diana’s article. Mr. Cooper asks Diana to come talk to him in his office, where the phones are ringing off the hook with angry parents. Cooper says he’d like to give her the opportunity to explain the article, but she say that she really did say the words, but her overall attitude wasn’t correctly represented. When a TV station calls to talk to Diana, Cooper is adamant that she is not to say another word about it. He tells her that he already had to face a group of parents who wanted her head on a plate, but he told them that she was misquoted. Diana is upset and says that the school has no right to scrutinize her every utterance, while Cooper maintains that the parents think she undermined the moral fiber of their children. Before school the next morning, Diane gets a call from a radio station in San Francisco wanting her to give sex advice on the air. When Gwen comes to pick her up for school, she warns Diana that she has seen other teachers lose their job for similar things as this. Diana calls Jeremy and Amy to come see her, and they are immediately apologetic that she has seen such a backlash. They offer to print a retraction, but it will be four months before their next issue. She tells them that they really need to listen to their interview subjects before they decide what they want them to have said. They tell her that the First Amendment gives her the right to speak for herself and tell the parents what she meant, so she decides to try Cooper again to see if he will let her speak to the parents. Although he initially refuses, when she threatens to go to the press, he agrees to bring the parents in. He brings in the head of the Parents Action Committee, Edgar Wheelwright (Frederic Cook), as well as ladies club members Mrs. Margaret Burnside (Rosanna Huffman), Mrs. Evelyn Helmsley (Mary Betten), and Mrs. Corrigan (Layla Galloway). She tells the parents that she wasn’t misquoted, but rather misinterpreted. While they say that her glib comments were dangerous, she says that everyone can guide, advise, and warn their children about dangers, the kids have all been given the great gift of free will and will wind up doing what they want. Diana hands Cooper a resignation, which he says that no one asked for. The parents feel that it is best that he accepts it, but he says that he will run the school his way and tears up the resignation. When Wheelwright threatens to go the superintendent, Cooper tells him to tell him that Miss Swanson is indispensable. After the parents all leave, Cooper says he’d never want her to resign as she is the only one at the school with whom he can fight. He also realizes that the resignation envelope was actually empty. 6/12/25
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