The Terrible Catsafterme

SEASON 1 – NBC

Created by Bob Rafelson and Bert Schneider

Opening theme: “(Theme from) The Monkees” written by Tommy Boyce and Bobby Hart, performed by The Monkees

• 001. Royal Flush – 9/12/1966
  • The Monkees (themselves – Davy Jones, Micky Dolenz, Peter Tork, Michael Nesmith) are a struggling band trying to make a name for themselves in Los Angeles. One day while visiting the beach, Davy saves a struggling girl from drowning when the raft that her Uncle Otto gave to her loses air. Her Uncle Otto (Theo Marcuse) happens to be nearby with his chauffeur Sigmund (Vincent Beck). The Archduke Otto informs Davy that he has rescued Princess Bettina of Harmonica (Katherine Walsh) and warns him to stay away. Because she leaves with his jacked, and because he is concerned for her safety, Davy tells the other guys and they stakeout the hotel where they are staying. They trick a chambermaid (Ceil Cabot) out of the room next to the royal chambers. They then phone Otto and ask him to come next door so they can show him the thrones they are selling. While Micky, Peter, and Michael keep him and Sigmund busy, Davy sneaks in and plays a recording they made of Otto planning to poison Bettina that night at her 18th birthday ball, at which time she will become the queen. During a musical interlude of This Just Doesn’t Seem to Be My Day, and Bettina spend a romantic morning on the beach, Sigmund pursues Micky, while Peter digs a hole for Otto to fall into. Sigmund follows them back to their apartment, and he calls Otto and they confront the Monkees and threaten to kill Battina. Davy tells them that she has sent a letter back to Harmonica stating that if she doesn’t show up to her ball, it is because Otto killed her. Otto takes her to the ball, and leaves Sigmund to watch over the Monkees. They eventually overpower him and head to the ball, where Davy sword fights him to the music of Take a Giant Step. Just as Otto is about to kill Davy, Peter announces that it is midnight, and Bettina is now the queen. She has Otto arrested and all live happily ever after.  The Monkees return to the hotel which they find the chambermaid now owns. With the episode a minutes short, the Monkees are interviewed by one of the series creators (Bob Rafelson) to fill the time. Director James Frawley is the voice on the phone.. Dick Wilson appears unbilled as a waiter at the ball. NOTE: Songs were substituted for summer reruns (You Told Me and The Girl I Knew Somewhere) and Saturday morning (Apples, Peaches, Bananas, and Pears and You Told Me) airings to promote more current material. 7/26/20

• 002. Monkee See, Monkee Die – 9/19/1966
  • The Monkees’ landlord Mr. Babbitt (Henry Corden) threaten the guys with a lawsuit if they don’t pay their rent, so when a lawyer named McQuinney (Oliver McGowan) does in fact show up, the guys disguise themselves. However it turns out that he is the lawyer for the late John Cunningham, a millionaire who has left them a legacy. The guys visit Cunningham Manor a dark and stormy night for the reading of the will. There they meet the butler Ralph (Milton Parsons), who tells the guys that they once returned a found wallet to Mr. Cunningham, and although it didn’t actually belong to them, he appreciated the gesture in his will. They also meet Cunningham’s spiritualist Madame Roselle (Lea Marmer), his traveling companion Harris Kingsley (Mark Harris), and his grand-niece Ellie Reynolds (Stacey Maxwell aka Stacey Gregg), to whom Davy takes an immediate romantic liking. Via a recorded message from Cunningham, the Monkees learn they have inherited his antique organ, on which they play Last Train to Clarksville. Ellie has been left the manor itself. The Monkees are not permitted to leave the island on which the manor sits because they are fogged in, so they are forced to spend the night. All night long they hear mysterious noises, and then are faced with the guests disappearing, first Ralph, then Kingsley, and finally Madame Roselle. The only one left is Ellie so they head outside and play the song Tomorrow’s Gonna Be Another Day. They then spy all three of the missing persons together, having conspired to scare Ellie off the island so they could inherit the manor. Davy is able to sneak sedatives into their drinks and knock them out, then have them arrested. George Perina is the sailor they reach on the radio. Vince Howard is the policeman. NOTE: The song A Little Bit Me, a Little Bit You was substituted in place of Tomorrow’s Gonna Be Another Day for summer reruns . 7/26/20
• 003. Monkee vs. Machine – 9/26/1966
  • Peter goes for a job interview at a toy factory, and the secretary (Elaine Fielding) introduces him to the personnel director, a robot named DJ-61 (voice of James Frawley) that seems to talk in circles and confuses Peter who is denied the job. The gang then sends Mike in and this time, he speaks like the computer and manages to confound it and is identified as having an IQ of 198. The factory department manager Mr. Daggart (Stan Freberg) takes Mike to see the president J.B. Guggins Jr. (Severn Darden), who agrees to hire Mike as Daggart’s assistant. Daggart shows Mike all of the computers that will be doing the toy designing, and then Mike witnesses Daggart fire an old toymaker named Pop Harper (Walter Janovitz) whom he labels as obsolete. The band performs the song Saturday’s Child, and then comes up with a plan to get Pop his job back. During a focus group with children, Peter poses as a mother bringing her child, who is actually Davy, to test the toys. All of the children are drawn to Davy who is simply playing wiht a yo-yo, and chaos ensues. Later they perform a durability test with Davy posing as the mother, and Micky as the child, who places an explosive on one of the toys. Finally Micky is the mother, with Peter as the boy for the assembly test of a toy bridge. Despite more chaos, Daggart tries to convince Guggins toys that when children lose interest in toys, parents just buy more which increases sales. Mike tries to impart that toys should be designed to bring happiness, and he brings Pop back to show his latest twisty toy. Daggart bullies Guggins into declining, and every leaves crestfallen. However when they attempt to throw the twisty toy away, it comes back to them ala boomerang. When they show the ability of the new to Guggins, he firest Daggart and makes Pop the General Manager. The Monkees are given a new computer to suggest jobs for the Monkees. As they live out the various options, they perform Last Train to Clarksville. NOTE: Saturday’s Child was subsituted with You Told Me for Summer reruns and with Listen to the Band for Saturday mornings. 10/2/20
• 004. Your Friendly Neighborhood Kidnappers – 10/3/1966
  • The Monkees are competing in a Battle of the Bands, and their chief competitors are the band The Four Swine, managed by the seedy Nick Trump (Andre Philippe). They sabotage the Monkees first attempt to play, and then concoct another plan whereby Trump pretends to try and represent the Monkees. He comes up with various plans to promote them. He first sends them to the Vincent Van Gogo with plans to have teenage fans come up to them and rip their clothes up, but the teens instead rip the clothes off of a businessman named Lester Crabtree. Next he has them put their handprints in cement in front of the local theater, but the cement dries and they are stuck. Trump ends up buying the sidewalk piece and brings them back and gets them out with a sledgehammer. Finally he suggests that if they get kidnapped, it will generate publicity, so he arranges for kidnappers Horace (Louis Quinn) and George (Vic Tayback) to grab them. The criminals first break into the home of an old lady (Georgia Schmidt) and her husband. Then they find the correct location and nab all of the Monkees except for Davy, who is at the Vincent Van Gogo. They tie up the rest of the Monkees and head there to grab them, but everyone at the place comes back with them to the Monkees’ apartment, and they all continue to party to the Monkees songs Let’s Dance On and (I’m Not Your) Steppin’ Stone. Horace and George attempt to tie everyone up to no avail. Trump finally shows up and clears the apartment by putting on polka music. He then tells the Monkees that he really is holding them until after the contest. They manage to escape by threatening the kidnappers with nitroglycerine, but they pursue them across town, over the beach, and through a western town to the tune of Last Train to Clarksville, which they also perform in the concert once arrive. The Four Swine, Trump, and the criminals are all arrested. The winner of the contest winds up being Lester Crabtree and the Three Crabs. Girls rush the stage and rip off his clothes again. The Monkees take that as a cue to stardom and rip off each other’s clothes. The Monkees are interviewed again when they come up a minute short. David Hull is the contest manager. Ken Del Conte is one of the Swine. Valerie Kairys is the girl with Davy at the Gogo. NOTE: In 1967 reruns, the songs playing at the party were A Little Bit Me, a Little Bit You and The Girl I Knew Somewhere. On Saturday mornings, Do You Feel It Too? replaced Last Train to Clarksville. 10/2/20
• 005. The Spy Who Came in From the Cool – 10/10/1966
  • A foreign spy named Boris (Jacques Aubuchon) is working in a music store with his partner Madame (Arlene Martel) planning to pass on a some microfilm of an American weapon hidden in a pair of red maracas to a midget (Billy Curtis). However when Davy comes into the store to buy red maracas and remarkably speaks the code sentence to Boris, he winds up with the maracas. He discovers the film while the Monkees are playing a party and performing The Kind of Girl I Could Love. The two spies come after them at the party, but the guys trick them into coming on stage to sing, and escape. Later they are propositioned by the Chief (Booth Colman) of the C.I.S., and an agent named Honeywell (Don Penny), who had filmed them as they unknowingly answered his survey questions, to help the C.I.S. capture them. Micky leads their training as they are introduced to various gadgets and get some martial arts training with help of Yakimoto (Lee Kolima). The Monkees plan to meet the spies at a party where the boys perform (I’m Not Your) Steppin’ Stone, and attempt to record them admitting that they are spies. They admit it, but a melee ensues when Madame pulls a gun and gets away with the film. Boris get caught in the dancers, who think the karate chops they witness are a dance move, and start throwing their own, all to the tune of All the King’s Horses. With Boris caught, Madame attempts to sell the film to the Chinese, but when she rolls the footage, it is of the Monkees performing Saturday’s Child. Arlene Charles appears as the genie in a gag paying homage to the sitcom I Dream of Jeannie. NOTE: Saturday’s Child was replaced by Randy Scouse Git in the 1967 reruns and by All Alone in the Dark for Saturday morning airings. 1/19/21
• 006. Success Story – 10/17/1966
  • A messenger (Ray Ballard) brings word from Davy’s grandfather (Ben Wright) that he is coming for a visit from England. Davy is worried because he told his grandfather that he is rich and famous in America. The guys go into action to help masquerade Davy as a raging success. The guys disguise themselves and ask Davy for his autograph at the airport. A woman (Ceil Cabot) joins in since she assumes Davy must be famous. Micky cons an old man (Donald Foster) into letting him borrow his Rolls Royce, and then gets the jacket off the messenger to act as chauffeur. Michael gets a job at Tony’s Italian restaurant, and gets fired immediately, but keeps the uniform so he can pose as a Davy’s chef. Peter gets the uniform off of an ice cream man (Charles Callas). Michael serves dinner, but they can only afford one meal so Davy’s meal is actually rubber. When a neighbor comes to borrow hot dogs, followed by the ice cream man, the restaurateur, and the Rolls owner, Davy is forced to admit the truth to his grandfather, who tells him that he’s taking him back to England. Davy goes for a walk on the beach to the sounds of I Wanna Be Free. He and the guys bid a tearful goodbye and head off to the airport. The guys stop crying long enough to follow them and delay the grandfather by causing a ruckus over his luggage, then kidnapping him in the motorized cart. By the time they get him to his terminal, he has recognized them and decided that friends like that will always take care of Davy. Grandfather says he won’t be lonely, as he will be traveling with the lady who earlier got Davy’s autograph. Later the guys regret not performing for Grandfather, and they break into Sweet Young Thing in the park, where elderly folks dance with them. The guys are interviewed by Bob Rafelson about Davy’s recent trip to Manchester to visit his family. James Frawley is the voice of the guys’ summy Mr. Schneider. NOTE: I Wanna Be Free was replaced by Shades of Grey in the 1967 reruns and by French Song in the Saturday morning airing. 1/19/21
• 007. Monkees in a Ghost Town – 10/24/1966
  • The Monkees are heading to an out-of-town gig when they overshoot their turn by 150 miles and wind up in a ghost town. A two-man gang of thugs, Lenny (Lon Chaney Jr.) and George (Len Lesser) are also hiding out in the town waiting for their boss, the Big Man, whom they have never seen in person, to arrive to split a haul of loot. Michael and Peter are captured by the guys and thrown in a jail cell. Micky pretends to be the Big Man, with Davy as his henchman, but the gangsters catch on and throw them in the cell as well, warning them not to try and escape since they are in the desert. The band thinks about life in the desert while Tomorrow’s Gonna Be Another Day plays. They are able to con Lenny into giving them a shovel by telling him they are going to play baseball in the cell, then they attempt to dig their way out to the tune of Papa Gene’s Blues. After coming up in various dangerous locations, they wind up in the neighboring cell. The Big Man then arrives, but she is actually a woman, the widow of the former Big Man, who she bumped off. Her name is actually Bessie Kowalski (Rose Marie), a former cabaret singer. The Monkees stall being bumped off by having her perform with them. She sings old standards like Everybody Loves My Baby and Hi Neighbor, and then onto Theme from (The Monkees), while Davy attempts to call for help. As Bessie continues to sing, the gangsters and the Monkees have a shoot-out, and eventually a gun misfire shoots the gun out of George’s hand. Police officers arrive and arrest the criminals and give the Monkees a reward. Unfortunately, they are fined by the cop (Hollis Morrison) for parking in no parking zone, performing in a cabaret without a license, and crossing against the light, all of which eats up their reward money. In addition to the cop, Hollis Morrison also portrays the Native American and Chester. NOTE: In the 1967 reruns, the song Words replaced Tomorrow’s Gonna Be Another Day. 5/16/21 
• 008. Don’t Look a Gift Horse in the Mouth – 10/31/1966
  • While doing some tumbling on the beach, Davy is approached by a little boy named Jonathan Fisher (Kerry MacLane), who asks Davy to watch his pet horse Jeremy (Highland Dale). Back at the apartment, the landlord Mr. Babbitt is accusing them of having an animal in the apartment because Micky has been doing his werewolf impression. When Davy brings home Jeremy, the other Monkees are worried about Babbitt catching them with an animal. They attempt to lure him back outside with Peter’s soup, but it knocks the horse to the floor. The others dress up like a horse to convince Babbitt that they are impersonating a horse, They bring veterinarian Dr. Mann (Jerry Colonna) over to cure the horse. He ends up having to assist their neighbor Mrs. Purdy (Jesslyn Fax) when she brings the boys a cake, sees the horse, and passes out. Finally they get the horse out and find Jonathan, who tells them that his father Farmer Fisher (Jim Boles) won’t let him keep the horse because he costs too much to feed. The Monkees offer Fisher money to help fund the food, but when he asks for $100, they instead offer their services as farmhands. As Michael feeds the hogs, he imagines himself as a bullfighter to the tune of Papa Gene’s Blues. When they spill milk all over Farmer Fisher, he fires them. Fisher’s neighbor Jenkins (Chuck Bail) offers to race Jeremy with his horse Charlemagne, putting up $100 against their guitar. The horses race to the tune of All the King’s Horses, and Jeremy wins. The farmer thanks the boys for what they did, and invites them to visit anytime… as long as they don’t do any chores. NOTE: In the Saturday morning airing, the song All the King’s Horses was replaced by I Never Thought It Peculiar. 5/16/21
• 009. The Chaperone – 11/7/1966
  • Davy wants to meet a girl named Leslie Vandenberg (Sherry Alberoni), so he goes to her house pretending to be taking a survey. Her friend Cynthia (Judy Murdock) is staying with her, and warns Davy that Leslie’s father General Harley Vandenberg (Arch Johnson) runs the house like the military, and won’t let Leslie go to any parties without a chaperone. Davy has Micky call Vandenberg and pose as an old military acquaintance inviting Leslie to his son’s ‘birthday’ party, claiming there will be a chaperone on hand. The guys go shopping for party supplies and decorate the apartment to the sounds of their song This Just Doesn’t Seem to Be My Day. They ask Mr. Babbit to be the chaperone, but he wants money. Then they ask their cleaning lady Mrs. Weefers (Diana Chesney) to be the chaperone, and she agrees. They try to teach her some sophistication, but she winds up getting drunk and passing out before the party. Micky steps in, puts on a dress and a wig, and poses as Mrs. Arkadian the chaperone. General Vandenberg takes an instant liking to her, so much so that he winds up hanging around and flirting with her all evening. The boys sing the song Take a Giant Step for the guests, which somehow includes Mrs. Arkadian. Vandenberg winds up overhearing Davy tell Leslie that Mrs. Arkadian is actually Micky, so he marches every partygoer out the door, then lays into the boys and Leslie and Cynthia. Leslie stands up for herself and tell him that it is because of his attitude and lack of trust that Davy had to go to such lengths to get a date with her. Vandenberg backs down and says that he’s reasonable enough to let her go out with Dave, and then he discards the notion of chaperones all together. Duke Fishman appears as Mr. Clean. The guys perform You Just May Be the One. NOTE: In the Saturday morning airing, the song This Just Doesn’t Seem to Be My Day was replaced by Midnight Train. 9/10/21
• 010. Here Come the Monkees (aka Pilot) – 11/14/1966
  • The Monkees are hanging around the record store where their manager Rudy (Bing Russell) tells them to report to the Riviera Country Club for an audition. They are excited, until they find out it is for Rudy’s friend Charlie Russell’s (Richard St. John) daughter Vanessa’s (Robyn Millan) 16th birthday party. They show up and play I Wanna Be Free, but more importantly, Davy and Vanessa take an instant liking to each other, and they soon begin dating. Mr. Russell and his wife (June Whitley Taylor) warn her that she’s been seeing him too much and that her grades must not suffer. Sure enough she fails her history exam, but her teacher agrees to give her a make-up test. Rudy’s assistant Jill (Jill Van Ness) warns they could lose the job if she fails the test. Since her parents won’t let her see Davy, the boys wind up sneaking Vanessa out of the house in a bookshelf while posing as movers. They take her to the beach where they make up songs and performances that will help her remember historical events. She passes the test, but even though her teacher gives credit to the Monkees, Mr. Russell still won’t let them play at the party. They try to sneak in to replace Sven Helstrum and the Swedish Rhythm Kings, but the guard (Joe Higgins) does everything he can to keep them out. However when Vanessa and her mother start crying at the party, Mr. Russell changes his mind and lets them in to play. They kick out Sven and the band, and play Let’s Dance On. The number is cut short, when Davy falls for another girl in the audience and he promptly exit the stage to chase her. Since the show wraps up quickly, Micky and Peter introduce black and white clips of Davy and Michael’s screen tests taken on the set of the sitcom The Farmer’s Daughter. NOTE: This is an edited version of the original pilot pitched to NBC. Paul Mazursky in the T.V. interviewer. Larry Tucker is Dr. Turner, the fat buy who talks big, but then runs when facing a dangerous situation. 9/10/21
• 011. Monkees a la Carte – 11/21/1966
  • The Monkees are working at Pop’s Italian Restaurant and they witness gangster Fuselli (Harvey Lembeck) and his henchman Rocco (Karl Lukas) steal the deed to the restaurant from Pop (Paul DeVille). They vow to get the restaurant back for Pop, so they go back to Fuselli and ask for their jobs as musicians back. Instead, Fuselli hires them to do all of the work in the restaurant, so they have to act as both chefs and waiters. They work in the kitchen to the tune of (I’m Not Your) Steppin’ Stone. They then go to see the police inspector (Dort Clark) and fellow policeman Paul (Don Kennedy) to help put away Fuselli. The police brag that they’ve just put away the Purple Flower Gang. The Monkees return to the restaurant and search the place for clues, but come up short. Fuselli tells them that he’s having some very special people over and puts them back to work preparing the meal. Other gangsters in town, including Red O’Leary (Paul Sorenson), Big Flora (Helene Winston), Paddy the Fix (Jon Kowal), and Benny the Book (Paul “Mousie” Garner) to big meeting to discuss the gang territories. The Monkees disguise themselves of the conspicuously absent Purple Flower Gang. Peter escapes the restaurant and goes to retrieve the police, but they suspect him of being an escaped member of the Purple Flower Gang. The Monkees have to continuously change outfits between being the gang and the waiters taking care of the room. The Monkees instigate a gang war between all of the members by convoluting the map of their territories. The gang members all shoot and kill each other, which is how the police find them when they finally arrive. The Monkees are given their jobs back by Pop and she sing the song She. 3/7/22
• 012. I’ve Got a Little Song – 11/28/1966
  • The postman Bobby (Bobby Johnson) brings a letter for Michael that contains an offer to start a new recording career from High Class Music Publishers. Michael takes his song Gonna Buy Me a Dog and pitches it to the publisher Bernie Class (Phil Leeds). He loves the song and tells Michael he plans to have movie star Joannie Jans (Leigh Chapman) sing it in her next movie… but Michael needs to bring him $100 in expenses. Jans convinces him to try and get the money from his friends his family, and minus a nickel, he is able to get the rest of it. He also meets an old man (Owen McGiveney) who is trying to get his song My Funny Valentine published. During a montage of the Monkees frolicking with dogs outdoors, they perform a rough cut of the song by the fountain. Michael verifies with Bernie that Joannie will be singing his song, but it appears that Bernie is a fraud, as he pretends to call Joannie but merely calls a couple named Harry (Joseph Mell) and Hilda (Mary Foran). The other three Monkees believe that Michael has been cheated, so they dress in their Monkeemen costumes. Micky and Davy fly to see Bernie, while Peter can’t get off the ground and has to travel by foot. They pretend to be piano tuners and eavesdrop on Bernie, who orders 100 form letters asking aspiring songwriters for $100. Meanwhile, Michael has gone to see Joannie Jans at her film studio Mammoth Pictures, and finds out from her that she has no idea who he is or anything about the song. Michael gets depressed, but the others come up with an idea. Micky pretends to be a big film producer named MD and asks Bernie to meet him at the studio. He tells him that he needs a song about a dog, so Bernie suggests Michael’s song. He goes to get him to sign him to a contract, but Michael insists on $200 to sign. As the Monkees feel victorious they climb around the studio rafters to the song Mary, Mary. Michael finds the old man he met at High Class and gives him $100 of the money since he too got swindled. Buddy Lewis is the studio watchmen. Irwin Charone is the producer. Larry Gelman is the director. NOTE: The song Mary, Mary was replaced by For Pete’s Sake in 1967 reruns and Steam Engine in Saturday morning airings. 3/9/22
• 013. One Man Shy aka Peter and the Debutante – 12/5/1966
  • The Monkees audition with their song You Just May Be the One for a debutante named Valerie Cartwright (Lisa James), and her overbearing suitor Ronnie Farnsworth (George Furth). Peter falls hard for Valerie, so much so in fact that he steals her portrait from her mansion and take it with him. Peter is scared to speak to her directly, so he goes to her place with the others, who speak on his behalf while he moves his lips. She doesn’t even see him before the gardener punches Peter out. Valerie later stops by their place to see what music they plan to perform, and she brings Ronnie with her. All he does is put down their pad, and then he finds the painting and tells Valerie they stole it. She is forgiving and tells Peter to just bring it with him to her party. The other Monkees follow Valerie and Ronnie around town, posing as waiters, waterworks employees, and vendors, making a fool of Ronnie. He recognizes them eventually, and tries to get back at them by challenging the Monkees to various sports like skeet shooting, Badminton, and archery, making them look like fools. He only succeeds in embarrassing Valerie, who then asks Peter to accompany her to her party. He still believes he doesn’t know how to handle a date, so the Monkees chaperone him to various locations with Valerie, helping him with his etiquette along the way – as I’m a Believer plays. They even try to teach Peter to play Spin the Bottle with a girl, but the bottle keeps pointing to Davy. When they get to the party, Peter is still awkward at conversation, so Micky tries to impress Valerie by acting like his stockbroker, Davy acts like his tailor, and Mike acts like his yacht driver. Valerie tells him that she likes him the way he is, and while they play You Just May Be the One, a series of vignettes showing Peter beating Ronnie in a series of contests are shown. After the experience, Peter turns into a wolf and has girls flocking to him. NOTE: The song I’m a Believer was replaced by Forget That Girl  in 1967 reruns and If I Knew in Saturday morning airings. 7/11/22
• 014. Dance, Monkee, Dance – 12/12/1966
  • Peter gets a phone call from Miss Buntwell (Karen James aka Karen Arthur), a secretary for the Renaldo’s Dance Au Go Go dance school, offering him free lessons if he can name the eighth president. With considerable help, he finally gets it right and reports for his dance lesson. He meets the proprietor Renaldo (Hal March), who gets Peter to sign a contract with the school. When he gets back home, Mike looks more closely at the contract and realizes he has signed a lifetime contract that the can’t break. Micky visits Renaldo acting as a lawyer, but he too gets tricked into signing a lifetime contract. Mike gets seduced by Miss Buntwell into signing as well. Thinking they now need an inside man, Davy heads to the school and auditions to become one of the instructors. His first assignment is to work with the other Monkees, which he does to the tune of I’ll Be Back Up on My Feet. They then incapacitate the other instructors, the Dancing Smoothies (Derrik Lewis, Christopher Riordan), and they pretend to be tyrant instructors and chase off a huge base of the school’s elderly female clientele to the tune of I’m a Believer. Afterward, they go in and see Renaldo and tell him that they’ll be back day after day since they plan to hold him to his lifetime contract with them. He is so anxious to get rid of them that he willingly tears up their contracts and agrees to tear up everyone else’s who got roped into his services. Stephen Coit is Martin Van Buren. Elizabeth Camp is the tricked female client. NOTE: The song If You Have the Time replaced I’m a Believer on the Saturday morning airing, 7/11/22
• 015. Too Many Girls aka Davy and Fern – 12/19/1966
  • As the Monkees try to rehearse (I’m Not Your) Steppin’ Stone, they keep getting interrupted when Davy goes into a trance every time he sees a girl, several of which keep spontaneously appearing around the apartment. When they take him out of the house later that day, they are lured into Ye Olde Tea Room by a doting mother named Mrs. Badderly (Reta Shaw) who has her sights on getting Davy to team up with her daughter Fern (Kelly Jean Peters) to appear on the Amateur Hour TV program. Mrs. Badderly reads tea leaves for the boys, predicting that Peter will catch a virus, Mike will get a flat tire, and Davy will fall in love and leave home to be with a girl. Although most of them don’t believe the nonsense, Mike does indeed have a flat tire, and thanks to sneezing powder that Fern spread on Peter’s jacket, it appears that he has caught a virus. When they get home, they try to shelter Davy from seeing a girl for the next 24-hours. Fern tries to get into the apartment dressed as a Girl Scout and then as a photographer, but she is thwarted both times by the band. They chain Davy to a chair and put him in front of the TV, but when a mysterious invitation to host a beauty contest, conveniently located in Ye Olde Tea Room, appears under the door, Davy leaves the apartment… dragging the chair behind him. When he arrives, the only contestant is Fern in a bikini. He agrees to appear on the Amateur Hour with her and breaks the chain attaching him to the chair when the guys attempt to hold the chair in place. The amateur hour consists of Mr. Hack (Jeff De Benning) introducing various acts. The first act is The Astonishing Pietro, actually Peter doing a failed magic act. Next is Billy Roy Hodstetter, actually Mike as a folk singer playing a sped-up version of Different Drum. Then it is on to impersonator Locksley Mendoza, actually Mikey doing jokes and same poor impersonation over and over. Finally, Fern and Davy perform their song and dance number Undecided, which comes across as terrible because the guys have put rocks in Davy’s pocket, substituted his cane for a bendable one, and sprayed his throat with something that makes him sing in a high pitch, which causes Fern to break down and yell at Davy during the performance. Heck then introduces the Monkees performing I’m a Believer. Heck then announces the winner of the contest: Fern and Davy. NOTE: NBC blurred out shots of Fern’s cleavage during the beauty contest scene. 11/6/22
• 016. Son of a Gypsy – 12/26/1966
  • The Monkees are competing with the gypsy family Maria (Jeanne Arnold) and her four sons Marco (Vincent Beck), Rocco (Vic Tayback), Kiko (Mario Roccuzzo), and Zeppo (Gene Dynarski) to play at Mademoiselle Rantha’s (Elizabeth Camp) party. Maria and her boys have an ulterior motive: to steal the famous Maltese Vulture from the Rantha estate. Mme. Rantha ultimately gives the job to the Monkees, and to show they have no hard feelings Maria and her boys invite the Monkees to visit them at their gypsy camp. Each one of the brothers takes a Monkee and incapacitates him and then they tie them all up and tell them they must steal the statue for them. They refuse, but gypsies threaten to torture them, inspiring a daydream that place Davy on the rack and ending up taller than the others. Under duress, they agree to steal the statue. The gypsies hold Peter as a hostage and tell them that if they don’t produce the statue by midnight that it will be curtains for Peter. Since they are a quartet, they send Marco in Peter’s place to play in the band. Although he has no talent for rock and roll whatsoever, Mme. Rantha seems to like him. The three Monkees realize it is getting close to midnight and they need to get the statue out of one of the bedrooms with two guards (Ralph Roberts, Tony Regan) at the door. Mike and Micky distract the guards by robbing each other, fighting, and lighting matches, but the guards won’t budge… until they throw the matches on the floor. When the guards leave to throw the matches in a trash can, Davy sneaks in and attempts to break into the safe. Just then, Mme. Rantha enters with a friend (Leoda Richards) in order to show her the Maltese Vulture. Micky then comes in disguised as a strange scientist who takes the statue and throws in out the window, where Peter, surrounded by the gypsies, catches it. Mme. Rantha asks the gypsies to bring Peter inside, and then offers the gypsies a reward. They take the Maltese Vulture and try to leave with it, but to the tune of I’m a Believer, the Monkees and the gypsies rumble, with the Monkees ultimately ending up with the statue. Marie decides that she and her boys will now go straight when they realize what a successful career Marco could have as a singer. They give the Monkees the credit for opening their eyes and give them all hugs and kisses before they leave. After they are gone, the Monkees realize that the gypsies have stolen their watches, wallets, and Peter. James Frawley is the Yugoslavian guest. 11/6/22
• 017. The Case of the Missing Monkee – 1/9/1967
  • During an event for which the Monkees were hired to play music at a banquet at a French restaurant, a rocket scientist named Professor Milo Schnitzler (Norbert Schiller) is kidnapped by a Dr, Marcovich (Vito Scotti). As he is being taken away, he passes Peter a note indicating that he is being taken to the Remington Clinic. Before the Monkees can play another number, Peter too is kidnapped and taken from the building. The other three Monkees ask Dr. Marcovich if he has seen Peter, but he doesn’t give them any information. The Monkees then find the note that Peter had passed on to Mike, so they all head to the Remington Clinic. The admitting nurse (Nancy Fish) claims that there is no one there fitting Peter’s description. The Monkees then get a policeman (Ivan Bonar) and take him to the French restaurant, but it has been re-dressed as a Chinese restaurant and Marcovich is onsite disguised as the Chinese owner. The boys then return to the clinic and admit Davy, who is claiming he has broken bones. Once they are in, they climb up a ladder outside to find Peter’s room. Meanwhile, Marcovich is working with another doctor named Bruno (Vincent Gardenia) to figure out how to smuggle Schnitzler out of the country. Bruno finds the three Monkees in the Physical Therapy room and he puts them through their paces, while Marcovich uses a laser gun to make Peter lose his memory. By the time the other Monkees find him, Peter has no idea who they are. They try to scare him into regaining his memory, and slowly, it does come back to him and remembers the Professor. They find him in the hospital and put Micky in his place. Marcovich and Bruno take Micky to operate on him, but the other Monkees dress up as doctors and claim that Micky is his patient. To the sounds of (I’m Not Your) Steppin’ Stone, a chase ensues through the hospital and the guys manages to capture Marcovich and Bruno, much to the appreciation of Professor Schnitzler. NOTE: The song Pleasant Valley Sunday is played of Steppin’ Stone in the 1967 reruns. Valerie Kairys is the girl in the rowboat with Mike. 4/5/23
• 018. I Was a Teenage Monster – 1/16/1967
  • The Monkees are hired to play a show at a spooky castle, but once they arrive, the owner and mad scientist Dr. Mendoza (John Hart) tells them that he actually wants to train someone to be a rock star. When the boys meet him, they find that he is actually a gigantic monster (Richard Kiel) who has no musical ability whatsoever, outside of shouting the phrase “Gorah!”. The boys dress him up in a Beatles haircut and give him a guitar but decide that they are going to come back the next day to continue the training. Mendoza insists that the boys stay the night in the castle, so he has his assistant Groot (Byron Foulger). Mendoza then reveals to Groot that he plans to syphon the musical ability from the Monkees’ brains and transfer it into the monster. The boys realize they are in danger and decide they want to escape. As they sit down to watch TV in their room, they are each kidnapped one by one and taken to the laboratory. The Monkees and the monster are put through the process, and suddenly the boys can no longer harmonize, while the monster is able to perfectly perform (Theme from) The Monkees. While the Monkees threaten to call the police, Mendoza is able to wipe their memories of the music skill transfer completely from their heads. The Monkees then try to perform again, but are unable to sing, causing Mendoza to demand his money back for their services. The monster now knows as the Swinging Android comes out and performs Tomorrow’s Gonna Be Another Day. Micky and Davy suddenly remember the procedure from the laboratory, so they head there and attempt to reverse the procedure. When the monster starts talking like a hippy, the realize the process has succeeded. Unfortunately, Mike starts to talk like the monster, demanding to “kill!” Micky makes some adjustments to the dials and causes the monster to act effeminately. The doctor returns and orders the monster to kill the Monkees, but Peter is able to convince him that Mendoza is a bad man. As the monster becomes confused, a chase ensues around the laboratory and castle to the tune of Your Auntie Grizelda. The Monkees overpower Mendoza and Groot and send for the police. The Monkees regain their musical abilities and try to play again but their equipment explodes. Bonnie Dewberry is Mendoza’s daughter. James Frawley is the voice of the Magic Mirror. NOTE: Good Clean Fun replaced Your Auntie Grizelda in Saturday morning airings. 4/10/23
• 019. Find the Monkees aka The Audition – 1/23/1967
  • The Monkees are visited by The Four Martians, The Four Agents, and The Jolly Green Giants, all of whom tell the Monkees that they’ve received invitations to audition for TV producer Hubbell Benson (Carl Ballentine). The Monkees can’t figure out why they didn’t receive a similar invitation. The Monkees consider sending their audition tape to Benson, but Micky realizes that he left the tape with the tape recorder when he returned it. Meanwhile at Benson’s office, asks his secretary Irene Chomsky (Bobo Lewis) for a tape recorder, and coincidentally enough, it happens to be the same one that has the Monkees tape on which they performed Mary, Mary still on it. When Benson hears it, he decides that this is the band that he wants. The Monkees go to Benson’s office to perform for him, but Peter comes down with the hiccups. Ms. Chomsky begins searching high and low for the band, who are sitting in the lobby, but by the time Peter’s hiccups go away, Benson has located the lost-and-found inspector (Art Lewis), but he cannot locate his own pencil to take notes. The Monkees try and perform Sweet Young Thing over the phone for Benson, but they first get a wrong number and then they run out of time on the pay phone. An annoyed man who is waiting to use the phone finally gets in… and morphs into Superman (Nick Dimitri). Benson decides to make a promotional event over the search for the mystery singers, and when the Monkees read the story in the paper, Peter suggests that they pretend to be the mystery band. The try to barge in on Benson and sing Papa Gene’s Blues, but he isn’t interested in listening. Benson carries on with his audition, but when The Jolly Green Giants recognize the music on his tape recorder, Benson goes in search of the Monkees and finds them jamming to Sweet Young Thing. He wants the boys to play his theme song, and has Miss Chomsky demonstrate how it sounds. Benson is so impressed with her performance of it that he realizes that she has the voice he’s been looking for, and he leaves the apartment with her and tells her that she will be the star of the new show. As the Monkees drive around lament blowing the big chance since they would have made at least a $100 a week. When Mike tells him that stars make up to $5000 a week, he disappears from the car, possibly to head to the South Seas. The Monkees return to the lost-and-found inspector. The Monkees are interviewed and discuss fighting, their hair, the freedom for kids to wear their hair the way they want, the Sunset Strip Curfew Riots. Roxanne Albee is the girl in orange. 8/29/23
• 020. Monkees in the Ring – 1/30/1967
  • When a bully (Peter Canon) picks on Peter when he bumps into him, Davy comes to his aid and manages to accidentally knock the guy out. This is witnessed by a crooked fight promoter named Sholto (Ned Glass), who offers to make Dynamite Davy Jones into the next Featherweight World Champion. None of Davy’s friends want him to do it, as they are afraid that he will be hurt. They all accompany him to see Sholto and his partner Vernon (Joseph V. Perry). Sholto gives Davy a try-out by having him go around with the boxer Smasher (Robert F. Lyons), who acts as if Davy has a steel fist. Sholto promises Davy’s friends that if he loses to any of his first three opponents, Sholto will forget Davy’s boxing career. This sounds reasonable to the Monkees, but it also works toward Sholto’s ultimate plan, to make Davy’s boxing stature rise, so that when he fights the Champion (D’Urville Martin), the odds will even out so that Sholto can bet against Davy and make a lot of money. Davy goes off to train to the tune of Laugh. In the montage, three different boxers including Smasher take a dive for Davy, elevating his ranking. After he beats Smasher in his third bout, the newspapers report that he is ready to fight the champion. While Davy is interviewed by a bevy of reporters, Smasher causes Sholto to talk to Sholto to complain about how he got less than the other boxers to take a dive, but it is Mike who answers the phone. He tells Davy about the fix, and Sholto and Vernon overhear the conversation. After Mike and Micky try to talk the champion, who speaks in rhyme, out of the fight. He thinks that Davy’s bandmates are trying to intimidate him and refuses to drop out of the fight. Sholto orders Vernon to hold the three Monkees at gunpoint while Davy fights the champ. Sholto tries to ensure the champ’s victory by giving Davy a sleeping pill before the fight, but it is the champion who winds up drinking it. The Champ is drowsy through the first three rounds as the song I’ll Be Back Up on My Feet plays, but Sholto thinks he will come out of it for the fourth round. Back at the Monkees’ place, Mike challenges Vernon to a boxing match using the other guys as his trainer and the referee. When they send him to his corner, it is actually the closet, and the lock him in and head to the matches. They all enter the ring and cause great commotion. When the ref gets knocked, Peter declares Davy the winner, and Sholto and Vernon are arrested. Jerry Hausner is the fight announcer. Jimmy Lennon is the ring announcer. George Cisar and Richard S. Ramos are the reporters. 8/29/23
• 021. The Prince and the Paupers – 2/6/1967
  • The Monkees show up at the Peruvian embassy to audition for an Embassy Ball, but the Count Myron (Oscar Beregi Jr.) thinks that Davy is his son, the shy Prince Ludlow (Davy Jones). Davy is utterly confused until he sees Ludlow and realizes that he is exact double. Myron has come to America to find a bride and explains to Davy that if he isn’t married by the time that he is eighteen, he will forfeit the throne to Myron. As Myron fences with his assistant Max (Joe Higgins), he discusses that it is his plan to take the throne, and therefore, he has spoken privately to a girl named Wendy Forsyth (Heather North), whom the prince met in the Riviera, and told her terrible things about Ludlow. When the courtier (Donald Foster) announces Wendy, Ludlow and the other Monkees talk Davy into taking the place of Ludlow to try and charm her. Upon their first meeting, he talks Wendy into seeing him again, and Ludlow then asks him to take his place for the next few days in order to convince her to marry him. Davy and Ludlow swap places and they put Davy on the throne. Michael agrees to stay with Davy to make sure that Myron doesn’t stop him, while Micky and Peter take Ludlow with them in order to train him how to act after he returns to marry Wendy. As Ludlow learns how to speak to girls by using a gal named Gloria (Linda Kirk), Max intercepts a note from Wendy that tells him that she’s falling in love with him, so he decides that they must kill Ludlow. Max uses a sharpened sword to fence with Davy, but when they drop swords and Davy gets the sharpened one, Max suddenly bids a hasty retreat. Wendy comes to see Ludlow, and Davy proposes to her, and she accepts. He tells Max to prepare the wedding to be held immediately held at the embassy. Mike calls to Micky to send Ludlow back for the wedding, as Davy kisses Wendy in celebration. Myron and Max then bring Ludlow in at gunpoint and order him thrown into the dungeon, then orders the Monkees to leave the embassy and keep their mouths shut under threat of death. As Wendy walks down the aisle, Myron announces that Prince Ludlow had to return to Peruvia for important government affairs, but then Davy shows up with Mike and says he can continue the wedding after all. The Cardinal (William Chapman) brings Davy to the altar, while Micky and Peter overpower the jailer (Clegg Hoyt) and rescue Ludlow from the jail. Mike delays the wedding by objecting to the marriage until Ludlow arrives. Max and Myron try to stop them, but the Monkees fight them off as the song Mary, Mary plays. Through the fight, Wendy falls in love with Ludlow and they are married. Ludlow orders Myron and Max to be arrested. Later, Davy is at home moping while Ludlow and Wendy honeymoon in Greece. A girl reporter (Heather North) from Teentale comes by the apartment looking for the Monkees. Much to Davy’s delight, she looks exactly like Wendy, and the two immediately kiss. Rodney Bingenheimer was used to play Davy’s double whenever he and the prince were in the same shot. 12/14/23
• 022. Monkees at the Circus – 2/13/1967
  • The Monkees go to the circus and sneak into the Big Top, where they encounter a bitter knife thrower knows as the Great Victor (Richard Devon) who orders them out by throwing knives at them. The Monkees stick around anyway and listen to Victor tell the others that it is time to abandon the circus since no one comes to see them anymore in favor of certain rock groups. Davy approaches the circus owner Pop’s (Forrest Lewis) daughter Susan (Donna Baccala) and offers to help. Davy tells everyone that they can’t give up, even convincing Victor that the circus is a longtime tradition, and that they must have hope that the crowds will return. Among the other performers who agree to stick around are the sword swallower (Carl Carlsson), the juggler (Ruth Carlsson), the strong man (Gene Rutherford), and Willy the Midget (Felix Silla). Victor decides to insist that they all get their back pay or threatens to leave. The Monkees hang around and try to find an act that they can perform, then pose as the Mozzarella Brothers who agree to perform as a trapeze acts. Victor agrees to stick around and convinces everyone that the Mozzarella Brothers will draw in the crowds. The boys begin rehearsing their high wire act, with the occasional spill. The Monkees finally admit to Susan that they are really rock and roll singers. Victor overhears this and tells everyone at the circus that they are frauds, announcing that he is going to leave once and for all. The boys dress up as clowns and sing the song Sometime in the Morning to cheer up Wendy. Their act impresses the others and they all agree to remain part of the show. The show brings in the crowds, but Victor refuses to perform his knife throwing act with Wendy, so Davy stands in for him. When Victor hears Davy introduce himself as the Invincible Victor and start haphazardly throwing his knives, he decides to reclaim his spot in the circus. Pops instructs the Monkees to go on with their act, the thing that they do best, and they perform the song She to an appreciative cast and audience. After the show, Davy and Wendy share a long kiss, only to be interrupted by Willy, who gives Davy a giant key to remember them by. The sword swallower offers Mike a sword as a gift and shows him how to swallow it. The strong man gives Peter a set of weights that he can’t lift. The juggler gives Mikey a lion’s head and juggling pins. 12/14/23
• 023. Captain Crocodile – 2/20/1967
  • The Monkees are guest on The Captain Crocodile Show, but instead of getting to play a song like they were expecting, Captain Crocodile (Joey Forman), concerned about how they might outshine him, throws pies into their faces. Later, the Monkees are called to see the vice-president of the show, the child Junior Pinter (Joey Baio), who wants to hire them to come back as regulars on the show. Having been burned by Crocodile once, they decline the offer, but Junior calls his father, the president of the show who is currently in Australia, and he authorizes Junior to tell them that there will be no more pies and that they will be able to play music on the show. Captain Crocodile tells his assistant Howard Needleman (Philip Roth) that he feels that he is being eased out of the show. He comes up with a plan to sabotage their first appearance by utilizing camera moves that keep them off the screen, then dropping a net over them, and finally causing their drum to explode, all of this taking place just as they are ready to sing. At the end of the show, they are finally able to get Captain Crocodile to let them sing Valleri. After they are finished, they ask the stage manager (Larry Gelman) how they did, and he tells them that they’ve been off the air for five minutes. Peter is particularly upset about how the show went, and the other encourage him by telling him all of the other programs they would be great on, including sendups of the news, panel quiz shows, and an action series in the vein of Batman. Captain Crocodile then organizes his own letter writing campaign by sending 27 letters of hate toward the Monkees to the station. The program manager, J.J. Pontoon (Oliver McGowan) has a meeting with the board to decide if they should appear again. Micky then shows up and pretends that he is with the Nelson Polling Service and indicates that viewership is going up. Mike poses as the janitor and tells the board how much his grandchildren now watch the show because of the Monkees. Davy and Peter then show up disguised as children, pretending to be huge Monkees fans. Captain Crocodile responds by bring in his child fans known as the Crocodile Corps to chase down the Monkees to the tune of Auntie Griselda. Once they catch them, the Monkees quickly manage to charm them by telling them fairy tales, even though they mix up the plots of several different ones. Captain Crocodile becomes angry at the kids and tells them that he hates them, causing them to turn on him and chase him out of the studio. On the next broadcast of the show, Howard has taken over as host, and this time he hits the Monkees with seltzer water as they are getting ready to play. Judy Howard is the secretary. NOTE: The song Valleri is replaced by Pleasant Valley Sunday in the 1967 reruns. 4/24/24
• 024. Monkees à la Mode – 2/27/1967
  • Chic fashion magazine editor Madame “Q” Quagmeyer (Patrice Wymore) sends her reporter Tobi Willis (Valerie Kairys) and photographer Roby Roy Fingerhead (Eldon Quick) to find some candidates for their feature article on Typical Young Americans of the Year. Tobi suggests the Monkees, and Madame Q gives the go-ahead. Tobi and Rob Roy show up at the Monkees’ home to tell them the news. Rob Roy is disgusted by their home, but they show off all of their artifacts, even relics that were used by Paul Revere (Micky Dolenz) and George Washington (Peter Tork). Mike thinks that they won’t be right for the article, as they are anything but typical. Nevertheless, Tobi talks them into it, especially when she mentions how great the publicity will be for their band. They visit the office of Chic, where they meet female reporters Miss Osborne (Carole Williams), Miss Collins (Nancy Walters), and Miss de Lessups, who put them through their paces with interview questions. Roby Roy then leads them through a photo session during the song Laugh. Tobi turns in the article to Madame Q and describes it as being completely factual, but Madame Q throws it in the trash and gives Rob Roy a crack at it. He changes their story to make them appear to be spoiled and pampered elite characters. The Monkees start getting women breaking dates off with them and angry calls and letters from former fans. This causes Tobi to quit her job. The Monkees are then invited to attend a banquet thrown by the magazine where they will receive their award for being Typical Young Americans. They consider not going at all, but instead, they decide to go and then make a shambles of the proceedings. After being obnoxious in front of the magazine’s advertisers, including Davy revealing a bald head under his wig, Mike says they are undeserving of the award and hand it over to Rob Roy, who tries to sneak away. Chaos further ensues and a shamble is made of the proceedings. Later, the Monkees stop by the magazine to see if they will print a retraction, only to find that Toby is now in charge, with Madame Q and Rob Roy as her assistants. Unfortunately, the corporate greed has overtaken her, and she refuses. The Monkees perform the song You Just May Be the One. George Strattan is Rob Roy’s assistant. NOTE: The song Laugh was replaced by Oh My My on the Saturday morning airing. 4/24/24

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