The Terrible Catsafterme

SEASON 1 – ABC

Created by Irving Pincus

Theme song: “The Real McCoys” written by Harry Ruby

• 001. Californy, Here We Come – 10/3/1957
  • After inheriting a farm from relative Ben McCoy, Grandpa Amos McCoy (Walter Brennan) and his grandson Luke (Richard Crenna) head from their home in Smokey Corners, West Virginia to California with Luke’s new wife Kate (Kathleen Nolan) and his younger sister Tallahassee “Hassie” (Lydia Reed) and Little Luke (Michael Winkelman) in tow. Upon arrival they meet their Mexican ranch foreman Pepino (Tony Martinez), who Grandpa mistakes for a Russian. Although the house is run down, it is much larger than their home in the Appalachians and the kids are concerned about having their own rooms. Luke has a talk with Grandpa about warming up to Kate and calling her by her name rather than “ma’am.’ He finds out that Grandpa would have preferred him to meet a stronger woman, but agrees to give her a chance. Grandpa starts to miss home and fighting with his friend Frank Gooding. He tries bickering with Pepino, but the spots his neighbor Flora MacMichael (Madge Blake) feeding her sheep on his grass and kicks her off the property. He then learns from Pepino that Ben had agreed to allow the MacMichael animals to graze on his land in exchange for them allowing the McCoy ranch to get their water from the MacMichael ranch. The MacMichaels immediately stop the water supply, leaving Little Luke covered in soap from his bath. Luke insists that Grandpa go apologize, but he feels the family is getting soft and wants to head back to Smokey Corners. Grandpa degrades himself by apologizing to Flora, only to find that it was her brother George (Andy Clyde) who shut off the water. Amos and George begin to bicker and arm wrestle, and then Amos challenges him to a game of horseshoes and invites him to dinner. Now that he has found a friend he can bicker with, he decides to stay, much to relief of his family who has begun to miss him even before he left. 12/28/18
• 002. The Egg War – 10/10/1957
  • Grandpa begins selling fresh eggs at the farm, when he is challenged by egg mogul Harry Poulson (Charles Lane) causing him to angrily double his efforts. Hassie takes a liking to Harry’s son Joey (Donald MacDonald) and agrees to go the school dance with him, but Grandpa flies into a rage and forbids it even refusing to back down when Luke tries to talk to him. When Grandpa finds out that Harry has been putting up signs saying that the McCoys are raising sick chickens, Grandpa prepares to attack Poulson with eggs. Luke and Kate wind up in a fight themselves when Luke won’t stand up to Grandpa about the dance. Pepino suggests that they charge less prices for their eggs since their overhead is lower. They get into a price war and Grandpa ultimately comes out on top. He still refuses to budge about the dance, despite advice from Pepino as well. However when Hassie brings Grandpa some warm milk to the chicken coop, he can resist no more. Not only does he give her permission to go, but gives her money for a dress. When Joey comes to pick up Hassie, Harry is not far behind pulling his son away from going to the dance. Luke suggests that they go into business together and that Grandpa sell Poulson his eggs at the lower price. Grandpa refuses to go into business with him, until he sees Hassie crying. He finally agrees, the kids go to the dance, and Grandpa and Poulson immediately begin arguing about the name of the business partnership. 12/28/18
• 003. Kate’s Dress – 10/17/1957
  • Grandpa and Luke practice for an upcoming rifle shooting contest, but realize that their rifle barrel is crooked. They plan to buy another one using the house slush fund, but Kate, who has been invited to be the guest of honor at the next P.T.A. meeting by the P.T.A. president Grace Asher (K.T. Stevens), plans to use the same money to buy herself a new dress to wear. When the men argue with the women about it, the women refuse to cook for the men, leaving Grandpa to make his horrible stew. Eventually Kate can’t stand it any longer, and she cooks them real food. Grandpa and Luke head to town to buy a rifle, but then start to feel guilty since Kate does so much work and is so sweet, that they decide to buy her a dress. Despite the suggestions form  the department store saleslady Marie (Zina Provendie), Grandpa and Luke come away with a hideous dress full of bows and sunflowers. When Mrs. Asher comes to pick Kate up for the meeting and sees her in the dress, she knows what’s going on, so she helps Kate make alterations and remove all of the tackiness from the dress. She even manages to convince Grandpa and Luke that they must’ve known that the dress would be perfect once the bows and sunflowers were removed. Grandpa worries that they will always be looked to purchase new dresses. 10/4/19
• 004. Grampa Sells His Gun – 10/24/1957
  • The family gets a visit from Mr. Peabody (Ray Bailey), lawyer for Mrs. Aykroyd, who holds the mortgage to the farm and says that they are three months behind in their payments. Peabody feels for their plight, but give them three days to come up with the $150 they owe. They attempt to sell Luke’s old jalopy to George, but he doesn’t want it. George is perfectly willing to loan them the money, but Grandpa won’t hear of it. They also try to sell a bunch of antique junk to Mr. Feely (Benny Baker), and Odds and Ends dealer, but he only offers them $7. Feely and George both offer Grandpa money for his old musket that he’s named Henrietta and has been in the McCoy family for 200 years, but he refuses to sell it. However when Little Luke takes to begging and Hassie sells a family heirloom locket for $1, Grandpa finally gives in and sells the gun to George. After they make the mortgage payment, George demands his money back telling Grandpa that the gun won’t fire. He says he can collect the money a dollar a week, or when they make money on their next harvest. Grandpa is angry but is glad to take his gun back. Kate acknowledges that George actually did a very sweet thing, which was George’s intention all along. 10/5/19
• 005. A Question of Discipline – 10/31/1957
  • Kate calls a family meeting to dole out punishments to Little Luke for playing hooky at his fishing hole, and to get Hassie on a stricter study schedule after receiving a poor report card as a result of her spending too much time dancing to records in the malt shop. Grandpa thinks she is going overboard, especially since she is only a McCoy by marriage. Kate gets offended and tells Grandpa that he can take over the child rearing, a task he believes he can take on, much to the delight of the kids. They take advantage immediately, as Little Luke continues to play hooky, and Hassie stays out until 10:30 at night, claiming that she is at the library. Both infractions come to his attention when he is visited by Hassie’s friend’s mother Mrs. Daniels (Claudia Bryar) and truant officer Mr. Bixby (Byron Keith). Grandpa then changes course and becomes incredibly strict on the kids, keeping them busy constantly with chores. The kids ask Grandpa if he would relinquish raising them back to Kate, and he sadly agrees. When they ask Kate and Luke if that is okay, they both chastise the kids for hurting his feelings, especially when they see Grandpa with his suitcase. The kids tell Grandpa that they love and want him there, and he agrees to stay. He also apologizes for the way he treated Kate and tells her that she is a real McCoy. Grandpa is happy to turn the raising duties back over to Kate, and admits that despite the fact that his suitcase was empty, he might have soon run away if the kids were any more difficult. 3/21/20
• 006. You Can’t Cheat an Honest Man – 11/7/1957
  • Grandpa does a lot of complaining about their farmland, especially the rocky five acres on the east side of the farm. Luke argues that it would be easier to tend if they had a tractor, but Grandpa points out that they can’t afford one. When a man named George Bailey (Joseph Kearns) stops by and offers to buy those same five acres so that he and his wife can settle down and grow a small garden, Grandpa jumps on the deal and even gets him up to $500. No one in the family is happy to be misrepresenting the land as farmable, but Grandpa can only think of the money. He even brings in a tractor for Luke to test, but with Kate’s insistence, Luke declines. Grandpa tries to operate the tractor himself but crashes into the tree. When Bailey comes to finalize the deal, Little Luke joins in with the lying about the land, causing Grandpa not only to give him a spanking for lying, but also seeing the error of his ways. He comes clean about the land, but Bailey still wants to go through with the deal. At this point, Kate and Luke are fine with it. Then a man from the Highway Commission named Mr. Fenton (Jess Kirkpatrick) comes and offers to buy the same land. When they tell him it has already been sold, he calls out Bailey as a crook, saying that he had found out about the highway going through and will now collect $1500 from the state. When they tell Grandpa about it, he can only laugh hysterically, as he had felt guilty about the land and changed the deed to be for the western five acres since it was better land. He happily lets the angry Bailey out of the deal altogether. 3/22/20
• 007. Luke Gets His Freedom – 11/14/1957
  • When Luke tells Grandpa he can’t go to a barbecue with him because Kate is having guests over, Grandpa begins giving him a hard time about being dominated by Kate. The visitors are their friends Mac (Willard Waterman) and Lila Maginnis (Shirley Mitchell), and from the minute they enter, Mac exerts his dominance over Lila who amiably takes it the entire time. Grandpa makes it known that he too never took guff from Grandma during their marriage. When they mention Luke going on a fishing trip to the dangerous Dead Man’s Rapids, Luke hems and haws about going, but when Kate tells him it is too dangerous, he suddenly feels the need to stand up to her and he says he is going. He later decides to back out of it, but when Grandpa teases him about it, he goes after all. Mac and Grandpa try to get him to commit to play poker at Mac’s house the next night, but Luke emphatically says he wants to spend time with his wife. She however had made plans that night and every night of the week so that he can have the freedom that he wants. With her out, Luke goes to the poker game after all, and witnesses Mac get by his wife playing cards which she adamantly opposes. Everyone present overhears her browbeat him and tell him that it’s fine if he wants to act big in front of his friends, but she won’t have him playing cards in her house. Mac recoils like a jellyfish, and everyone goes home. When they arrive, Luke finds that his bed has been made on the couch. Grandpa confesses that the majority of the time, it was actually Grandma who did the bossing and that he liked it, warning Luke not to let him interfere with his marriage to Kate. Luke is afraid to go into the bedroom, so Grandpa throws him in. Kate throws him back out, but Grandpa throws him in again and holds the door closed. Before long Kate, peeks out and tells Grandpa ‘thank you.’ Later Luke is being overly helpful doing the dishes, breaking some in the process. Kate sends him to go out with Grandpa, and Luke confesses that this is how he gets out of the house by purposely breaking a couple of dishes. 7/2/20
• 008. Grampa’s Date – 11/21/1957
  • The McCoy’s are all bent out of shape that they haven’t been invited to the Valley Ranchers Association annual dance, and Grandpa and Luke put on a front that they’re glad they haven’t been, insisting that if the president Mr. Pell (Stanley Andrews) were to invite them, they would turn him down flat. However when Mr. Pell does in fact arrive with an invitation, they are ecstatic. Luke and Kate suggest that Grandpa ask Flora MacMichael (Madge Blake) to be his escort to the dance, but he refuses. Flora herself is hoping that he asks her, but when she confronts Grandpa, he says he isn’t interested and he calls her fat. She still holds out hope and claims to like the way he acts salty toward her. Grandpa fully intends to just go to the dance alone, but he is disappointed that Kate isn’t making him a boxed dinner to take along. Little Luke reports to Grandpa that Flora is making a huge, delicious meal to take, which begins to give him second thoughts. He wanders over to Flora’s place to ask her to the dance, only to find that she has been asked by Mr. Pell and intends to go with him. On the night of the dance, Grandpa adamantly swears he was only interested in the food, and that he cared nothing for Flora… but intends to stay home alone. At the last minute when Flora shows up at the house, he runs to his room and jumps quickly into his suit. Flora makes it clear though that the  she stopped for gas on the way over and the boxed dinner was stolen from her car. Grandpa is disappointed, but agrees to take her anyway. She then tells him she was just testing him, and that the food is safe and sound in the car… the best news he’s heard all week. He tells her that she’s not fat, but ‘nicely rounded’ before they gleefully head off to the dance. 7/3/20
• 009. The Fishing Contest – 11/28/1957
  • Grandpa has been waking up at the crack of dawn and then staying out until late at night, telling the family that he is doing his work on the ranch. Pepino reveals that Grandpa has been participating in the local fishing derby. He’s become more frantic when the newspaper reveals that his rival George MacMichael has caught a large fish that looks like it might be the winner. Grandpa is tired of losing to George in checkers, arm wrestling, and now fishing. As Grandpa keeps fishing, he can’t seem to catch anything but garbage out of the lake, and then decides it is because he has an old West Virginia fishing pole instead of a new California one. He talks Kate into loaning him her $15 to go get a new pole, but by the time he gets back Little Luke has caught a giant fish that eclipses the size of George’s. He manages to talk Luke into letting him claim that he caught the fish, and Luke agrees. George comes over to size up the new fish, but Grandpa starts to have second thoughts about claiming the fish is his. As he starts to talk about honesty and integrity, George blurts out that had actually purchased his fish… and furthermore admits that he cheated in Checkers too. Grandpa admits that Luke caught his and sends him off to claim his trophy for the derby. He stays behind and plays George a fair and square game of checkers. George wins the game and Grandpa gives him his rifle that he bet, but later admits that he expects George to have a sore shoulder from firing it. 10/18/20
• 010. It’s a Woman’s World – 12/5/1957
  • Hassie is making campaign posters for Eunice Webster (Reta Shaw) for Town Councilwoman, and both Grandpa and Luke find it amusing that a woman is running for a government position. Eunice stops by the house, and although she takes some ribbing from the men, she is interested in making sure everyone can vote, even if it is not for her. The guys think they can’t vote because the can’t afford the poll tax, but she informs him there are no poll taxes in California, and the only requirements are that they be 21 years old and can read. Being able to read disqualifies them, but since they only need to be able to read the Preamble to the Constitution, Kate thinks she can teach them to read well enough to pass. Both are resistant to it, but when Kate gives Luke the silent treatment, he finally caves in, much to the chagrin of Grandpa. He believes that if gets Pepino to read him the Preamble over and over again, he can memorize it. On the day of the test, Luke is able to pass by reading the Preamble to the testing teacher Miss Small (Alice Backes). She however becomes suspicious right away when Grandpa doesn’t seem to be able to read the instructions on the blackboard to take a copy of the document and have a seat. She mentions that some folks try to memorize the reading, which undermines the requirements to vote. Eunice says that Mr. McCoy would never do anything like that because he’s an honest man. Grandpa starts to recite the Preamble, but then stops in the middle and won’t go through with it. He is impressed that Mrs. Webster was willing to let him cheat to be able to vote, since she obviously knew he couldn’t read. He pledges that even though he can’t vote, he is going to campaign for her. 10/18/20
• 011. The Bigger They Are – 12/12/1957
  • Amos goes over to Flora’s house for fried chicken and pumpkin pie like he does every Sunday after church, although his family warns him that he had better start taking her out sometimes as well. When he arrives, he finds that she is also entertaining her old friend Henry ‘Dinky’ Baldwin (Russell Collins), and is serving his favorite meal pot roast and apple pie. Amos is put off about it, picks a fight about her cutting down her apple tree that is hanging over into his property, and storms off. Despite the fact that both Flora and Dinky told him that he can’t cut branches off her tree, he goes to do it anyway, and winds up accidentally running the tractor through her stone wall. When she realizes that he was in the process of sawing her apple tree branches, she demands that he fix or pay for the wall. He refuses to apologize, and also refuses the help of Luke and Pepino to rebuild the wall. Flora then serves him with a court summons to sue him for the money or to fix the wall. The judge winds up being Dinky, and after telling Amos that she could also ask for damages to the apple tree, he orders Amos to either fix the wall or pay $50. When Amos tries to take $50 of the family money to pay her, Luke stops him, and then also refuses to help after Amos had already refuses their help. Amos then tries to sweet talk Flora into forgetting the wall, and she seems to fall for it and agrees that they don’t need the wall… but still demands the $50. Amos then goes to repair the wall by himself, which is made worse when his entire family join Flora and Dinky for a picnic next to where he is working. After they all agree he’s learned his lesson, everyone pitches in to help fix the wall, so that they can all enjoy a fried chicken lunch together. Amos finally bites the bullet and apologizes. Andy Brennan is the bailiff. 2/6/21
• 012. Gambling Is a Sin – 12/19/1957
  • At the church prayer meeting, Reverend Berquist (Gage Clark) announces that they will be hosting a speaker coming to the church to talk to the congregation about the evils of gambling. He also announces that they are looking for a new member of the fundraising committee, which is a job that Kate would really like to have. Amos and Luke mention it to the reverend after the service, and invite him over for dinner. Meanwhile, the McCoys are visited by a man named Leo Dunstetter (Stafford Repp) who offers the family a free paint job on their bar if they agree to let them put an advertisement on the roof of the barn. They don’t find out until the work is done that the sign says “Gambling is best at the Las Vegas Inn.” Fearing that the Reverend will deny Kate the job on the committee if he sees it, they try to paint over it, but before they get started, they are caught by Dunstetter, who promises to sue if they do. Grandpa can think of no other solution than to burn the barn down, but Luke has a better idea and covers up some of the letters with tar paper so that it says “Gambling is a sin.” When the Reverend comes to dinner, he is impressed by the sign, but as they sit outside before dinner, the wind kicks up and blows off the tar paper. He is shocked by what he sees… but tells the family that he thinks no less of any of them. In fact, he had also been tricked by Dunstetter, and now has a burlesque advertisement for the Whoopee Club on the roof of his barn. 2/6/21 
• 013. Let’s Be Buddies – 12/26/1957
  • Amos goes over to George’s house to play checkers, and is surprised to find that George has another friend named Fred Baxter (Jack Kirkwood) there to join them. Amos takes an instant disliking to Fred and his corny sense of humor, but George tries to convince Amos to be nice to him because he determines the membership to the Loyal Order of the Mystic Nile, and he wants to get in. Amos has no interest and storms off. He later gets even more angry when George invites Fred to play horseshoes at the McCoy house. Amos refuses to go easy on Fred and soundly defeats him, while George is trying to take it easy and butter him up. This leads to a fight between George and Amos, and they decide to part ways. Fred is put off by the loss, but later returns to see Amos and invite him to join the lodge, telling him that several members have put in a good word for him. Since Amos had gotten lonely since he and George split up, he accepts the offer and goes to the meeting. However, he then finds out at the meeting that they’ve decided not to accept George in the club. Amos tells them that he wants no part of them if George isn’t welcome, and he storms out of the meeting. Amos shows up for checkers at a grateful George’s house. They get a visit from Fred who invites George to join the club. He is excited but declines since Amos hasn’t been invited, so Fred makes it clear that both are welcome to join, and they both agree that they will. 6/3/21
• 014. Grandpa and the Driver’s License – 1/2/1958
  • Grandpa is excited to attend a public picnic with Flora, but he immediately gets irritated when Flora invites her friend Clarence to drive them there and join them since Grandpa doesn’t have his driver’s license. He doesn’t like that idea one bit, so he decides to abandon Flora and drive himself there in the McCoy jalopy, despite the kids’ warnings. Sure enough he almost immediately gets pulled over by a policeman (Ray Kellogg), who issues him a ticket for running the sign and for driving without a California license. Amos then goes and tries to apply for his license, but he can’t pass the eye test, despite attempting to cheat with Little Luke’s help. The clerk (Dave Willock) advises him to try again after he gets some eye glasses. Meanwhile Flora tells Amos that Clarence was a dud at the picnic, and invites him over for fudge. The family finds out from Pepino how Grandpa failed, and they all try to convince him to get his eyes tested, but Grandpa wants no part of them. Every time Grandpa asks anyone to drive him somewhere, they come up with an excuse why they can’t. They also try to tell him how distinguished the President of the United States looks with glasses. When Pepino explains that his eye problems had been resolved by eye drops that helped his stigmatism, Grandpa finally decides to take a bicycle to see the optometrist Dr. Dudley (Olan Soule). The doctor gives him a test, and he does in fact need glasses, and when he tries them on, he thinks they look pathetic. Still he wears them to the license bureau and is able to get his license… even though it is noted that he must be wearing his glasses when driving. He shows his proud family and Flora the license, and they all ask him to go for a ride to take Flora home. Grandpa doesn’t wear the glasses like he’s supposed to, and sure enough he goes through the same stop sign and is pulled over again. He makes sure to put the glass on before the officer gets to the car, much to the amusement of everyone in the car. 6/3/21
• 015. The Lady’s Man – 1/9/1958
  • As Kate is struggling to being in the groceries without any help from Grandpa or Luke, Little Luke reports that there’s a man shooting a gun on their property. It turns out that it is just a camera he is shooting, gathering photos for an article in Panorama magazine. The man’s name is Don Hogan (John Stephenson), and he is working on an article about California ranchers. The men aren’t interested until he offers them $100 for permission. They also are not too happy when Kate offers to let them stay at their house. Hogan proves himself to be a real gentleman, complimenting Kate, pulling out chairs for her, and assisting her with carrying a bucket of eggs. He impresses not only Kate, but also the kids, when he tells them that he was a boxer, and was discharged from the military with a Purple Heart. Kate starts to sense that Luke is jealous, especially when she catches him and Grandpa spying on them while Hogan is shooting photos of her. Hogan tells Kate that she could be a paid model in California, and when she mentions that to Luke, he really loses his cool, and invites her to go out there and give it a go. Grandpa mocks Luke for not fighting for his wife, and when he sees her loading up his car ready to head out, he is finally provoked to attempt to fight him. Luke can’t even land a punch as he rails out Hogan, until he finally hits him with his Mule Punch and knocks him out. He then learns that Hogan was actually returning to his wife in San Francisco, and Kate was only helping load up his car, recognizing that she belonged with her husband. When Hogan comes to, Luke and Grandpa feel terrible, and refuse to accept the $100 from their new friend. Hogan gives Luke some advice to keep his wife happy by occasionally doing things to assist her, pull out her chair, and other small acts of affection. They invite him to come back anytime, and grants his last request to take one more picture of all three of the adults together. 10/1/21
• 016. Luke’s Mother-in-Law – 1/16/1958
  • Kate gets a call from her mother Glady Purvis (Lurene Tuttle) that she’s coming to stay with them for a spell. Grandpa immediately raises the red flags for Luke, and warns him that mothers-in-law always interfere and cause trouble when the enter the picture. Luke has always liked her, and doesn’t pay any mind to her, even though Grandpa continues to goad him. When Grandpa correctly predicts that Kate won’t want Luke going on a fishing trip with Mother Purvis on her way, he starts to believe Grandpa’s other predictions, and starts to question how long she will be staying. Kate is highly offended by Luke’s insinuations, but soon after she shows up, she starts behaving just the opposite of what they expected: she starts pampering Luke and criticizing Kate for not taking care of or pampering her husband the way she should. It starts to go so far that Kate can’t stop crying when she keeps taking Luke’s side on everything. Grandpa is confounded by the whole thing, and when Kate comes crying to him as well, Grandpa has a conversation with Gladys. She admits that she sold her house and is now very lonely. She had planned to live with her sister Audrey Randolph (Isabel Randolph) in Fresno, but they got in a fight over the phone because they were both stuck in their ways. Gladys starts crying to Grandpa, which he can’t stand. Later, Audrey shows up at the ranch and asks Gladys to come live with her. Everyone feigns disappointment at her departure, but the sisters are happy to be there for each other. While Luke thinks the whole thing was providence, Grandpa warns them that they may be seeing a bill for a phone call to Fresno. 10/1/21
• 017. The Matchmaker – 1/23/1958
  • A hunting dog named Queenie comes roaming into the McCoy’s garden, and Little Luke asks Grandpa if he can keep her if she has no owner. It turns out she does have on, their incredibly shy neighbor Joe Johnson (James Gleason) who they have yet to meet. Grandpa offers him various trades for the Queenie, but Joe loves the dog and can’t give her up. Meanwhile, Flora comes to visit Kate and hints about Grandpa inviting her to the fair. Grandpa doesn’t like being manipulated into asking her, while Joe points out that he’d give anything to to the fair with her. Grandpa ask him if he trade Queenie for the chance to go with her, and Joe agrees that he would. Grandpa delicately insists that Flora go to the fair with Joe since he has no one in his life. Flora reluctantly agrees in order to be nice. The evening of the fair, Flora comes to the McCoy house to meet Joe before the fair. As soon as Joe starts talking about his time in the war, and how beautiful Paris is, Flora becomes fascinated by him. Grandpa tries throwing in his stories about Wheeling, West Viriginia, and when Flora only takes interest in Joe’s travels, Grandpa becomes angry and decides to call off the deal. He has Pepino run a hambone through the garden, so that Queenie will track the bone rather than a rabbit, and he can claim that Queenie isn’t a real hunting dog. Joe stays true to the deal, and tells Flora that he can’t go the fair with her. Grandpa then feels terrible, so he tells Joe that he tricked him and tells him to go along with Flora and have a good time. Everyone, including Joe, forgives him, and Joe even agrees to let Grandpa go with them to the fair. Little Luke has heard the conversation, so he tearfully offers to give the dog back. Grandpa decides to stay behind to comfort Little Luke, but Joe then offers to let Luke have the pick of the litter when Queenie has pups since he plans to breed her soon. With Luke cheered up, Grandpa decides to go along after all… and warns Joe that he plans to talk about Wheeling to Flora. 3/28/22
• 018. The Goodys Come to Town – 1/30/1958
  • Grandpa invites his old friend Frank Goody (Will Wright) from Smoky Corners to come with his daughter Elvira (Nora Hayden) for a visit. Hassie warns them that Kate may not be so glad to have Elvira at the house since she and Luke were always sweet on each other. Luke doesn’t think it is a big deal since he is now a married man. Grandpa is also oblivious to the trouble it could cause, since he has always said that Elvira would have made a great wife for Luke because she is so big and strong.  Hassie gives Kate fair warning that she is coming, but Kate decides to overlook her own jealousy and to be a good hostess. When Elvira arrives, Kate immediately has to endure Luke and Elvira’s affection for each other when she hugs and kisses him upon arrival. From then on, Elvira and Luke have a million laughs sharing their old stories of romance, and when Elvira tries on Kate’s new hat, Luke tells her that she looks even better than Kate. Then she has to listen to them reminisce about the time they floated around on the lake all night long. By this time, she storms out of the living room. Luke tries to find out what is wrong with her, and she finally tells him that she’s had more than enough of the Goodys. They both overhear her, and decide to leave since they’re not wanted there by everyone in the house. Grandpa berates her for breaking up his 30-year friendship with Frank. The next day, the Goodys leave for the train station, and Hassie tells Luke and Grandpa how childlike their thinking is, and how Kate had every right to be jealous with the way they carried on. Neither of them realized why Kate was upset, but now know they have to make it right with her. Just then, Frank and Elvira return in their car, with Kate sitting by their side. She had gone to the train station and pleaded with them to return. Grandpa is apologetic, and tells her how proud he is that she’s a McCoy. Luke tells her that he won’t have much time to entertain Elvira for the rest of their visit, because there’s another woman he’s in love with and with whom he wants to spend his time. Frank and Elvira are surprised to see them kissing outside in broad daylight… but Grandpa explains that this is what comes from California living. 3/28/2022
• 019. Little Luke’s Education – 2/6/1958
  • Luke’s classmate Tony Strickland ‘s (Morris Lippert) mother (Sally Bliss aka Carla Balenda) bring Luke home from school one day. Tony and his friend see Grandpa and Pepino trying to start the car with other liquids in order to save on gas, they call Luke a hillbilly, which leads to a fist fight between them. As Mrs. Strickland pulls Tony away, Tony tells Luke to show his family his report card. Kate is anxious to see it, and is surprised to see a good number of failing grades. She calls a family meeting and says they all need to buckle down to help Luke with his education. Grandpa would rather teach him how to fight, but Kate insists that if he had better grades, he would win over his classmates since they would no longer have a reason to look down on him. While Grandpa tries to sneak in the occasional fighting lesson, the rest of the family, especially Kate, works hard with him to study. Although Luke gets one of the best grades in the class, it doesn’t win over the kids, and this time he is beaten up by ten of them. Grandpa is furious that Kate’s plan didn’t work, and says this time he is taking Luke to the school to make sure it is a fair fight and Luke can beat each of them up one at a time. They arrive together just as recess is ending, and Luke’s teacher Miss Leonard (Anabel Shaw) invites Grandpa to sit in with them in class. The kids laugh at Grandpa when he stumbles in, and then when the teacher wants to talk about Daniel Boone, Tony makes fun of Boone and calls him a hillbilly. Grandpa can take no more, and he berates the kids for laughing, and then tells them about some of the brave ‘hillbillies’ who fought for the freedoms of America: the Green Mountain Boys, Daniel Boone, Andrew Jackson, James A. Garfield, and his own ancestor Hezekiah McCoy, who fought with Zachary Taylor and then came to help settle California. Grandpa then pulls Luke out of school, and tells him that these boys aren’t worth fighting. As the family makes plans on pulling the kids out of school, Miss Leonard and Mrs. Strickland bring Tony and some other school children over. Grandpa grabs his rifle, and after Luke makes him put it back, he tells them that they’re not going to be run off of their land. Miss Leonard tells him instead how proud they are to have them as part of the community, and thanks him for the lesson he gave the kids about the hill folks. Even Tony apologizes and asks him if they can see the gun that he has that was used in the Mexican War. He invites them all in, and then tells Luke that fighting solves nothing, and it’s better to use your head to settle disputes. 7/27/22
• 020. Time to Retire – 2/13/1958
  • Luke and Kate notice that Grandpa has been moving a little slower in the field, then when the mailman Mr. Perkins (Olin Howlin aka Olin Howland) tells them that he is getting ready to retire, and his son insisted he did so because he wanted him to start enjoying life even before his pension comes in, Luke starts to think about Grandpa retiring. He holds a family meeting with Grandpa and presents him with a fishing reel and tells him that he doesn’t have to work any longer. They divide up his chores among the family so that he can relax. The entire idea infuriates Grandpa, as he thinks they are saying that he’s no longer needed. He rebels against the notion and goes to work the next morning like normal. However, he winds up over-exerting himself. When they all fuss over him again, he tells them that he’s raring to go, and demands that Pepino take him into town so he can go dancing. He injures himself by ‘swinging his partner’ in a square-dancing contest. The family makes him go to bed and brings in Dr. Sloane (Stanley Farrar) to check on him. The doctor says he’s full of Charley Horses all over his body, and he instructs Grandpa to stay in bed for a few days, and he tells the family to wait on him hand and foot. After a while, Grandpa sees the writing on the wall, and that he is now more of a burden then a help. He stops eating and transcribes his last will and testament to Pepino. Now quite worried about him, Luke brings Dr. Slaone back to diagnose him, and he says that it is all psychosomatic and that Grandpa is merely reeling in self-pity. Luke comes up with a plan to make him feel needed again, and the whole family mopes in Grandpa’s room and tells them that chickens are barely laying eggs, the cows are barely giving milk, the pigs are starving themselves, and corn is small and mealy. They say they can barely eke out enough for the family to survive without going to the store and buying canned food. Grandpa is aghast, so the next morning he up bright and early again, milking the cows and getting the farm back on its feet. 7/29/22
• 021. Grampa’s Proposal – 2/20/1958
  • While Grandpa, Luke, Pepino, and George are playing poker, Flora and a boyfriend from her youth named Howard Anderson (Irving Bacon) who is visiting from their hometown of Idaho, stops by the house. This makes Grandpa immediately jealous, especially when Flora’s brother George tells him that Howard is sweet on her. Grandpa tries to get Howard to join the game, so he doesn’t sit on the porch with her by himself. He even goes outside to show Howard what a good hand he will have if he joins the game in his place. He tells Granda in no uncertain terms that he is asking Flora to marry him. Later, George tells Grandpa that Howard has headed back to Idaho, and that Flora is going to think about his proposal and mail her answer to him. Grandpa sees this as a chance to talk Flora out of it, so he pays a visit to her and tells her that they’ll have to get over each other since she will be starting a new life. He reminds her of all of their good times and tells her that he’ll have to find a new date for the upcoming Harvest Ball. Flora tells him that she’s now decided not to marry Howard. He declares that their date to the Harvest ball is back on and that they can discuss their future there. Grandpa comes home happy with himself, but when he tells everyone there, including George, that he still has no plans to marry Flora, they all jump on his case. In fact, they all give him the silent treatment the next day. George is particularly furious and tells them that Flora has already mailed her rejection letter to Howard. When Little Luke tells Grandpa that he is taking his side and wants to be just like him – love ’em and leave ’em – Grandpa realizes he is setting a terrible example. He announces to his family that he is going to ask Flora to marry him. Everyone, George included, is happy with him again, and they help him get ready to go over and pop the question. Before he can leave, Flora shows up at his house to knit with Kate. Grandpa takes her outside on the porch and asks her to marry him. She says she is flattered and honored but isn’t ready to get married yet and prefers they simply go on as good friends. Although he is ecstatic with that trajectory, he acts disappointed… and makes sure that the entire family, who is listening through the window, has heard her wishes. 11/22/22
• 022. The Honeymoon – 2/27/1958
  • Luke and Kate are celebrating their one-year anniversary but are having trouble getting time alone. Grandpa plops between them on the couch to go through his photo album, and Hassie and Little Luke bring them lemonade once they finally make it to their room. Grandpa even returns to show them a picture from his honeymoon with his late wife that they missed. When he asks Kate and Luke why they don’t have pictures from their honeymoon, Luke reminds him that they never had one since they left West Virginia for California the day after they got married. Grandpa criticizes himself for never giving them a honeymoon, and the next morning he gives them $25 and makes reservation for them at the Colonial Palms Motel across town. Luke and Kate are leery about being away from the farm for two days, but Grandpa convinces them they’ll be okay and offers to drive them, so he won’t be without the car. They arrive at the motel in their old jalopy draped with Just Married One Year Ago signs, much to the chagrin of the desk clerk (Joseph Forte) and bellboy (Eddie Quillan). Grandpa is naturally like a fish out of water, griping about the $10 per night cost of their room, and yelling when the bellboy ‘steals’ their bags to take upstairs. They order room service for everyone, until finally Luke reminds them to get on back home. Finally on their own, Kate and Luke start to talk romantically, when Grandpa returns to bring them some fruit and show them the “Do Not Disturb” sign on their door. That evening, Luke and Kate go out for a nice dinner, but before they go, Kate calls home and finds out that Hassie is giving Little Luke Castor Oil because he ate too much ice cream. Luke calls home from the lobby and finds out from Grandpa that he and Pepino will have to plow themselves the next day because their mule injured himself kicking a hole in the tractor radiator. That night Luke and Kate each dream of home, with Luke dreaming of Grandpa collapsing in the field and trying to throw a rock at the sun because it is beating on him and Pepino so hard. Kate dreams of Little Luke devouring a massive dish of ice cream sundae while Hassie is tied up on the corner. The next day while Luke is swimming and believing that Kate is in the gift shop, she takes a taxi home to check on Little Luke. Likewise, Luke takes a taxi home to check on grandpa, and finds that Kate is already there. Grandpa tells them how much it means to him that they care about their family so much. However, when they express their desire to just stay home, Grandpa won’t hear of it since they paid for a second night, so they all return in the jalopy to go swimming in the motel pool… again to the irritation of the desk clerk and bellboy. 11/23/22
• 023. Once There Was a Traveling Saleswoman – 3/6/1958
  • Late one evening while Grandpa and Kate are both out, Luke is visited by an attractive traveling saleswoman named Miss Eberle (Peggy Knudsen) who works for the Bluebird Swimming Pool Company. Luke is adamant that he isn’t interested in a pool, but she talks him into inviting her in. She begins to sweet talk him, flatter him, and lay out every justification possible as to why he can afford a pool and how much they need one. Before the night ends, he has signed a contract to buy a pool. Realizing what he did, he goes to bed before the others get home. The next morning, he begins planting the seeds into the family’s head about how much they need a pool since it is dangerous for Hassie and Little Luke to cross the highway to get to the snake-filled lake. Grandpa finds the whole notions ridiculous and orders him to stop talking about it. Later, Luke admits to Grandpa that he signed the contract for the pool and that the Bluebird company threatened to sue if he breached the contract. He then had to face Kate, who is deeply offended that he was taken in by the charms of another woman. Grandpa explains that every once in a while, a man starts to need another woman’s ‘milk’ when his wife hasn’t tried to ‘feed the kitty’ in quite some time. Kate reads over the contract and gets an idea. When Miss Eberle and the company’s engineer Mr. Perroni (Lawrence Rio) come out to scout the location for the pool, Kate shows her the most rocky area on the property. Since the contract reads that the customer has the choice where to put the pool, she and Perroni decide they have to terminate the contract since it would be cost prohibitive to put in amongst the rocks. Kate then lets Luke call Miss Eberle and demand that she let him out of the contract. Naturally, she is quick to do so, and Kate gives him all of the credit for his ‘manly’ performance at laying out his demands. Grandpa is quick to utter a little ‘meow’. 5/3/23
• 024. My Favorite Uncle – 3/13/1958
  • Kate gets word from her rich Uncle Dave Kelly (Harry Shannon) is coming for a visit from Los Angeles on his way to a big business deal in Phoenix. Grandpa is immediately resistant to dressing up and spending the weekend doing anything but relaxing in his rocking chair. Kate, however, is insistent that everyone in the family cooperate for his visit. Furthermore, she wants Grandpa to share his bed with Uncle Dave. When he arrives, he brings Hassie a box of candy, Little Luke gets a space gun, Kate gets perfume, and Luke gets an alligator skin wallet, He even brings Grandpa a box of cigars, but Grandpa tells him he doesn’t smoke. After they get through the first night listening to Uncle Dave’s tales of his travels around the world and how the Maharajah gave Uncle Dave a diamond pin worth $2000. He also promises Little Luke he’ll take him deep-sea fishing on a yacht and tells Hassie he will take her to San Francisco. Grandpa has trouble sleeping through the night as Uncle Dave smokes cigars in their bed and then talks in his sleep and pushes Grandpa out of the bed. The next night, Grandpa goes to a dance with Flora. Uncle Dave loans Grandpa his diamond pin to use for his tie. When Grandpa gets home that night, he realizes that the diamond has fallen out of the pin. He becomes frantic to find it before Dave leaves the next day. He looks high and low, and enlists Luke to try and help him. He even insists on Dave staying longer so he doesn’t have to get dressed up. That night, he hears Uncle Dave talking in his sleep and saying how the diamond pin is a fake and is only worth ten dollars. The next day, Grandpa admits to Dave that he lost the diamond and then hands him ten dollars to cover it. Although he initially acts surprised, he admits that not only is the diamond fake, but that he is actually dirt poor. Luke starts to yell at Dave since he had promised the kids to take them on trips. Grandpa rushes to his defense, and says he probably thought he’d have a successful business venture before he takes the kids on the trips. He also says that it is obvious that Dave cares about the kids since he spent the last of his money on bringing them all gifts.  Grandpa gives him some extra money to get to Phoenix and tells him he can pay it back if things work out. After he leaves for Phoenix, Kate says that he’s the greatest man in the world, but Luke notes that he’s actually the second greatest. 5/7/23
• 025. Grampa’s Birthday – 3/20/1958
  • By counting the notches he’s made on the barn door, Grampa realizes that it is his birthday and is excited for the inevitable party he is going to have. When Harry Poulson invites Grampa to go to Los Angeles with him to sign a deal with Mr. Harper (Earle Ross), who offered a $300 bonus to exclusively sells their eggs to him, Grampa tells him that his family is counting on his birthday party. Poulson gets angry and heads off to Los Angeles on his own and tells Amos that he’s through with him. That morning at breakfast, Grampa is disappointed that no one tells him happy birthday and hasn’t made anything special for him. He starts to think that they’ve forgotten him until he sees a package arrive, and Luke acts aloof about it when he inquires what it was. When he sees Pepino and Kate dressed up, he’s sure there will be a surprise party. He gets shaved and cleaned up in the barn in order not to spoil their surprise. When he gets inside, he nearly has a meltdown when he finds that there’s no one waiting to surprise him. Luke tells Granpa that he’s taking Kate and Hassie out to eat and to window shop for Kate’s upcoming birthday. Grandpa gets so upset that he decides to set out on his own and go camping in the woods. Meanwhile, Luke catches Little Luke scratching a notch into the barn, but Little Luke tells him that he only did one of the notches on there. Kate privately tells Luke that it is funny that they are actually going into town to get Grandpa’s gift for his birthday… the next day. They come home and find Grandpa gone and think that he went to Los Angeles to make the egg deal. The next day they decorate the house and get his gifts together and wait for him. However, instead of Grandpa showing up, Poulson brings Mr. Harper back to the house to get Grandpa to sign the deal. Luke and Kate start to get worried, especially when Poulson tells them that Grandpa told him that yesterday was his birthday. As Grandpa lays down out in the field, he decides he’s going to become hard as nails instead of being sentimental about his family, even dreaming about behaving like a tyrant around the farm and with Poulson. He then becomes a rich tycoon with Poulson as his chauffer. He returns to visit his family, having foreclosed on the farm, and they are still waiting for him to give him his cake. The cake in his dream becomes an actual cake as everyone finds him asleep in the woods, bringing him the cake. When Grandpa starts prattling about his dream, Harper thinks he’s stalling and offers him $500 to sign his X on the contract. Luke explains why he got his birthdate wrong because of Little Luke’s extra carved notch. They all sing Happy Birthday to him. 9/11/23
• 026. New Doctor in Town – 3/27/1958
  • Despite Grampa having a cold, he wants to go bowling with Luke. Kate wants them to take her to meet their new neighbor Dr. N.S. Nugent (Herbert Anderson) and drop off a welcome, but Grampa wants no part of a newfangled doctor. Nevertheless, he agrees to go, but make it clear that he doesn’t want his advice, his medicine, or any part of his Dictaphone. He says that he can cure his cold with Hot Toddys and polecat grease. Although Nugent warns him that he might exacerbate his cold by going bowling, Grampa assures him he’ll be better by the next day. Unfortunately, he is even worse the next day, and Luke and Kate won’t let him have his moonshine for his Hot Toddys. Little Luke goes to see Dr. Nugent and pretends he has the same symptoms as Grampa. When Nugent calls him out for faking, he tells the doctor, he just wanted to find out the cure for his Grampa. Nugent says he’ll come see Grampa and pretend he was just stopping in. Dr. Nugent manages to get Grampa to allow him to give him a Penicillin shot. The mailman Charley Perkins keeps an eye on what the doctor is doing so that he can report to the town how well of a job he does. Sure enough, Grampa feels great the next day. Dr. Perkins and Charley both stop by to check on him. Grampa overhears the doctor telling Luke how some old-timers are worse than babies in their ignorance of modern medicine. Charley tells Dr. Nugent that he’d like to be his second patient and will spread the good word around town. However, Grampa is so annoyed by what he overheard, he stumbles out of the room and says he’s worse than ever, despite his fever being gone. When Charley overhears this, he cancels his appointment with the doctor. Luke and Kate are furious with Grampa and tell him that he might have ruined a man’s career all because he felt insulted. Grampa feels bad and agrees to go get things straight with the doctor. Luke and Kate stay in the car while Grampa goes in and apologizes. As they are leaving, they see Dr. Nugent driving up. Luke and Kate again are disappointed in Grampa. When they go inside, they find that the doc is packing up to leave town after three folks cancelled appointments. Then they hear that Grampa left his apology on the Dictaphone. Grampa comes in and tells the doctor that he needs to find back when he runs into old fools like him. He tells the doctor that he is going to be his first patient. 9/12/23 
• 027. For Love or Money – 4/3/1958
  • While Grampa and George are playing checkers, Pepino stops by and wants to talk about getting a raise. His new girlfriend Lolita is demanding that he ask for more money. Grampa angrily blows him off, but Luke tells him that they’ll discuss it and give him an answer the next day. Unfortunately, the answer is no, only because they simply can’t afford to pay him more than $60 a month. The family tries to avoid him quitting by trying to be as nice to him as they can, but Grampa is more stubborn and is angry that Pepino would even consider leaving the family. His outbursts toward Pepino make things worse, and Pepino does in fact quit. He goes to see George and Flora to see if he can work for them, but they are more interested in getting him back with the McCoys. George goes to see Grampa, but he only accuses George of pilfering his farmhand. This makes George angry enough to go ahead and hire Pepino for himself. From the start, it is clear that Pepino has other things than work on his mind, so the McMichaels suggest that he go try and get his job back with the McCoys. Pepino refuses to quit them, while they refuse to fire Pepino. They finally agree that Pepino will insult George so that he can fire him. Pepino goes to see the McCoys, but Grampa is still being stubborn. The best he can do is offer to listen to Pepino’s apology, but Pepino doesn’t think he has anything to apologize for. He tells Grampa that he’s been fired by George, where he was making $100 a month. Pepino is about to leave, when George busts in and accuses Pepino of stealing some of his toilet water, winking at Luke and Kate as he says it. Grampa quickly rushes to Pepino’s defense and tells George that Pepino is one of the most trustworthy people around. After George leaves, Grampa finally apologizes to Pepino and offers him his job back, now at $65 a week. 1/10/24
• 028. Kate’s Career – 4/10/1958
  • When Kate does some sewing alterations for their neighbor Mrs. Johnson (Frances Robinson), Grampa is annoyed that Kate is doing free work for others. Then when Mrs. Johnson pays her for her good work, he is annoyed that she is receiving ‘charity’. Mrs. Johnson assures him that she has done great work, and in fact, she wants to refer Kate to her friends to do more dress alterations for them. Grandpa doesn’t like the idea, as he thinks the men should be doing the supporting. He somehow convinces Luke that if he lets her start working, she will soon be the head of the house, and that Luke will be in the kitchen wearing the apron. Luke marches in and tells Kate that he won’t allow her to work. This just fires her up to want to do the work, so she calls Mrs. Johnson and accepts her offer. Soon the house is full of ladies dropping off and pickup up dresses. Grampa and Luke are disgusted by the whole thing, and they fear that Kate will let her household duties slip. However, they soon learn that his is a far cry from the truth, as Kate spends some of her earnings to prepare a massive turkey dinner for them. As Kate continues working, she is visited by Mr. Criswell (Philip Coolidge), and dressmaker, who is the only other person in town to do alterations. Having been gouging the clients for years without any competition, he has a personal interest in Kate stopping her business. He tries to warn her that he will take back all of his customers, and then he offers her $100 to stop her alterations. When she won’t budge, he threatens to use his contacts in town to cut off her supplies, and also deny any loans for the farm. Kate fees she’s been beaten, so she agrees to give up her work. Grampa and Luke then come in, and she gives them the ‘good’ news. However, they do not take kindly to the threats that Criswell has laid out, and they both aggressively yell at him, and Grampa throws him out the front door. Grampa tells him that Kate is only taking his business because she is the best dressmaker in town. He agrees that her work is in fact helping the family’s finances and agrees that she should continue. Soon the house is full of women again, and this time both Luke and Grampa are doing their part to help. Grampa is even wearing an apron in the kitchen as he does some of the pressing. Diana Crawford is Miss Simpson. Renon Cartwright is Mrs. Carter. 1/10/24

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