The Terrible Catsafterme

SEASON 1 – CBS

Created by David Davis and Lorenzo Music

Opening theme: “Home to Emily” by Lorenzo Music and Henrietta Music

• 001. Fly the Unfriendly Skies – 9/16/1972
  • Dr. Robert Hartley (Bob Newhart) is a psychologist living in a high-rise apartment in Chicago, Illinois with his with his wife Emily (Suzanne Pleshette). Bob is hosting a fear-of-flying workshop and is getting ready to take the group – which includes neurotic Elliot Carlin (Jack Riley), angry Victor Gianelli (Noam Pitlik), and flighty Lillian Bakerman (Florida Friebus) – on a flight to New York. When he asks Emily to join him, Bob finds out that Emily too is afraid of flying. Their next door neighbor Howard Borden (Bill Daily) offers no reassurance. Emily joins the group and attends a meeting where Howard comes to speak but reveals his fear of public speaking. When they finally get on the airplane, Emily ends up chickening out and having the plane turned around. After Bob returns from the trip, Emily breaks down in tears…only to find out that her crying makes Bob laugh. She is forgiven and pleased that Bob is laughing rather than yelling at her. Marcia Wallace is the office receptionist Carol Kester. Peter Bonerz is orthodontist Jerry Robinson, who has his office on the same floor as Bob and has become a friend of Bob’s. Patricia Smith is Emily’s friend Margaret Hoover. Penny Marshall appears as the flight attendant. 1/16/15

• 002. Tracy Grammar School, I’ll Lick You Yet – 9/23/1972
  • Bob is disappointed when Emily doesn’t ask him to speak at career day with her third-grade class because his job is too difficult to explain. It irritates him even more when both Howard and Jerry are asked to participate. When the lawyer ends up canceling, Emily finally brings Bob in, but the kids seem to have no interest. Bob won’t accept being a flop, so he returns to the school to try again. After a fire drill interrupts his presentation, he eventually wins them over somewhat by sharing ink blots. Meanwhile Carol selects a new coffee maker for the reception area that is able to make soup. Larry Gelman makes his first appearance as urologist Bernie Tupperman. King Moody is the fireman. 1/18/15

• 003. Tennis, Emily? – 9/30/1972
  • Emily is bored on her summer break from school so Bob encourages her to take up a hobby. She ends up learning tennis from an attractive instructor named Stan Conners (Peter Brown), who ends up coming to see Bob as a patient. His problem is that he is a sex maniac and this concerns Bob greatly. But Stan assures Bob he is not attracted to Emily, and Emily tells Bob that she doesn’t go for the attractive type. Bob and Emily throw a party and invite Stan. Carol, Howard’s date Cheryl (Barbara Barnett), and Jerry’s date Marci (Pat Lysinger) are all attracted to Stan, who tells Bob that Emily made a pass at him. Emily assures him that she has no interest in him other than as a friend, and he realizes that not all women are as interested as he thinks. But Bob assures him that Cheryl’s advances are not in his imagination. Meanwhile Jerry attempts to clean Bob’s teeth, a few at a time. 2/19/15

• 004. Mom, I L-L-Love You – 10/7/1972
  • When Bob’s mother Eleanor (Martha Scott) calls during breakfast to tell him about a Dear Abby column, it throws off his schedule and he misses his train. Upon reflection he realizes he has never told his mother that he loves her. He invites her over for dinner on Friday, accidentally scheduling it on the night he planned to go to a basketball game with Jerry, with the intent on telling her. When the night comes, Jerry takes Carol to the game, and they find Bob stalling in his office. He eventually goes home, but all through dinner interruptions from her and from Howard, who just returned from Paris, prevent him from saying it. When she comes back in, Emily tells her that they loved having her over, Bob says “love,” and his mom says “So do I.” Bob figures between the three of them, he said it. Meanwhile Bob has a patient named Mrs. Walker (Marilyn Child) who can’t get over the fact that her 13-year old son is going on a date. 2/20/15

• 005. Goodnight, Nancy – 10/21/1972
  • Bob’s old girlfriend Nancy Brock (Penny Fuller) phones for Bob, and Emily talks Bob into meeting her and her husband Chuck (Richard Schaal) for dinner at the Fireplace Room. Jerry and Carol are naturally intrigued about the dinner, but Bob claims there is nothing between them. When they meet for dinner, Nancy tells Bob that she and Chuck are talking about divorce and it is clear that she can’t keep her eyes and hands off of him and intent on reminiscing. Bob suggests that they meet for lunch in order to spare everyone the old stories… which arouses the ire of both Emily and Chuck. Bob admits to Jerry that he is enjoying the attention, but dreads having to tell her that he doesn’t feel the same way. When they have lunch, Nancy tells him that she had wanted to see if Bob stirred up feeling inside her… but he didn’t. She announces that she and Chuck are going to work out their marriage, leaving Bob feeling dumped by her once again. Meanwhile Emily buys a miniature plum tree. James Sikking is Dick and Anna Aries is Judy. Jack Bernardi is the waiter. 4/1/15

• 006. Come Live with Me – 10/28/1972
  • Bob has to discipline Carol for taking long lunches and it turns out that she is spending time with her boyfriend Roger Dixon (Eugene Troobnick). Carol later tells Bob that Roger wants her to move in with him, even though technically he is still married, although separated. She separately asks Bob and Emily for their advice, but they ultimately say it is her decision. The Hartleys have Carol and Roger over for dinner, but Roger spends quite a bit of time talking about his wife Dolores. Bob gives Roger advice about sticking it out with his wife, and ultimately he decides to work it out with her and dumps Carol. She takes it fairly well, but spends the night in the Hartley’s guest room. John Fieldler makes his first appearance as Emil Peterson, Bob’s patient with the inferiority complex, whose appointment gets cancelled twice. Ric Carrot is Jerry’s patient Ronnie. 4/1/15

• 007. Father Knows Worst – 11/4/1972
  • Howard feels like every time he has his son Howie (Moosie Drier), he has to keep him entertained. He ends up bringing Howie to Bob’s office, and they go out to eat wit Bob and Jerry. Howard becomes distraught that Howie seems to connect more with Jerry. Later Howard has to fly and asks Bob and Emily to watch Howie and they play hide and seek. Howard’s ex-wife Lois (Alice Borden) comes to pick up Howie, and Howard’s flight gets cancelled so he returns as well. Lois assuages Howard’s fears and tell him how much Howie looks up to him, and lets Howard keep him on through the weekend. Janice Carroll is the waitress. Kit Smythe is the pregnant patient. 6/27/15

• 008. Don’t Go to Bed Mad – 11/11/1972
  • When Bob has Jerry over on a Monday night, Emily doesn’t realize that it is to watch Monday Night Football. Although they try to teach her how the game is played, she gets frustrated and bored and heads to bed. Bob has plans to have Jerry over for the next game, but Emily expresses her irritation that they have plans nearly every night through the week, Friday they are too tired, and Bob watches football all weekend, plus Monday. She will not let them go to bed until they settle the argument, which digresses into a full list of grievances. Emily says she’ll give up all other items on the list if Bob will agree not to watch Monday Night Football, but Bob won’t budge. They stay up watching TV through the night, and Emily finally concedes that she’s not mad any longer and they head to bed… only to find that it is 7am and they need to get ready for work. 6/27/15

• 009. P-I-L-O-T – 11/18/1972
  • After three years of marriage, Bob and Emily decide they want to have a baby. Jerry tells Bob that he had been adopted and suggest that they adopt. As Chairman of the Building Association, Bo is invited to a party at their neighbors Arthur (William Redfield) and Margaret Hoover, where they meet Arthur’s brother Jack (M. Emmet Walsh) and his wife Myrna (Helen Page Crump) and they all talk about kids, including the one that Myrna has on the way. Emily makes the announcement at the party that she and Bob are going to adopt a baby… much to Bob’s surprise. Bob and Emily are interviewed by Mrs. Radford (Louise Lasser) from the adoption agency. Bob nervously fumbles through the interview, but Mrs. Radford deems them suitable parents. Unfortunately they have no babies available and she tells them they will have to wait nine months to a year before they can get one. Ron Masak is neighbor Mike Mitchell. Ted and Robert Foulkes are the Hoovers’ boys Scottie and Eric. NOTE: This episode was filmed as the series pilot but not aired until later with some scenes re-filmed. 8/26/15

• 010. Anything Happen While I Was Gone? – 11/25/1972
  • Bob and Emily return home from a vacation in Mexico City, and Bob learns that Jerry has met and got engaged to an oral hygienist named Cynthia Fremont (Elaine Giftos). Bob invites them over to watch slides from their trip, and notices that Cynthia’s bossy nature makes her a ‘back-buster’. Jerry announces that he and Cynthia are going to get married that weekend. Bob is told that Cynthia has insisted that Bernie Tupperman will be Jerry’s Best Man, even though Jerry claims that Bob is his best friend. Bob throws Jerry a bachelor party, but Jerry calls and says he’s not coming and that the wedding is off. Bob goes to visit him at his office while Emily hosts the men who show up at the party. Jerry tells Cynthia via phone that he wants to postpone the wedding, at which point she breaks up with him. Emily loses their giant jar of change in the poker game. 8/26/15

• 011. I Want to Be Alone – 12/2/1972
  • Bob is beginning to feel the pressure of dealing with everyone’s problems on a daily basis, and then coming home to listen to Emily’s stories and problems. He tries for some peace and quiet at home, but that is interrupted by a phone call from his mother, and Howard hitting his car. They decide it would be healthy for him to take a sabbatical for a few days and stay in a hotel. Howard is worried that they are getting a divorce and thinks it is his fault. Bob stays in the Aberdeen Hotel for four days and goes and sees a triple feature and spends time by himself. Emily has a teachers meeting and tries to convince the school that they should be teaching sex education in the fifth grade. Bob returns on Sunday, and he and Emily find that they are happier, healthier… and friskier, despite another interruption from Howard. Bernie Kopell is Dr. Arnold, who gives Bob recommendations for hotels. Alan Hewitt is the difficult teacher Mr. Warner. Helen Page Camp is Mrs. Prince. Nora Marlowe is Mrs. Brandell. Archie Hahn is the bellman. 11/21/15

• 012. Bob and Emily and Howard and Carol and Jerry – 12/9/1972
  • Emily stops by at Bob’s office after dropping Howard at the dentist to have a baby tooth removed, and gets the notion that he and Carol might hit it off. When Howard wanders in high on Sodium Pentothal, he somehow charms Carol. Emily arranges a date for all four of them at a Japanese restaurant, but this time Howard is clumsy and makes a fool of himself with the bartender (Pat Morita) and a man (James Hong) who he thinks is the maitre d’, and manages to spill ketchup on Carol, who then decides that she is not interested in him. Carol spends a lot of time ducking Howard’s calls. Things get really awkward when Bob has a dinner party and Jerry brings Carol with him when his date cancels. Howard and Carol have words in the bathroom, while Bob tries to moderate, but it isn’t until Howard shows his backbone that he once again sweeps Carol off her feet and they head off to Canton, Ohio together. Marilyn Child is Bob’s patient Mrs. Walker. 11/22/15

• 013. I Owe It All to You… But Not That Much – 12/16/1972
  • Carol accepts a lunch date with Jerry, but then backs out of it when she gets back together with her boyfriend Alan. Jerry is disturbed by this and starts to question his bachelorhood, but doesn’t know if he is ready to settle down either. He decides he would like to start seeing Bob professionally and insists that Bob bill him, which Bob resists. When Jerry starts calling Bob constantly, resulting in Bob burning the steaks he is grilling, he decides to send Jerry the bill after all. Jerry is horrified by how high the bill is, but agrees to pay it to continue to see Bob. Jerry hosts a party and invites Bob so that he can meet his new girlfriend Debbie, but when she doesn’t show up, the party ends up being just Jerry, Bob, and Howard. Howard finally gets away from the boring party, and Bob tells Jerry that he doesn’t want to treat him any longer because he misses their normal chats where they just discuss life in general. Bob and Jerry get drunk together and wander back to Bob’s apartment to wake a sleeping Emily. 1/23/16

• 014. His Busiest Season – 12/23/1972
  • Bob gives his therapy group a Christmas treat and doesn’t charge them for the session. Emily can’t decide what to get for Howard, and tries to get Bob to find out his shoe size to get him a pair of shoes. When he can’t do it, they settle on a fruit basket. Bob also hasn’t purchased Emily’s gift yet and tries to pry it out of Howard what she got him. He finally finds a gift, but when he sees the multiple gifts that Emily has gotten him, he has to head out to get more. With Howard’s son out of town, he joins Bob and Emily for Christmas Eve, but they all start to feel that their evening is too lonely. Bob decides to host a party and invites Jerry, Carol, and his therapy group. Although Bob tries to liven things up with Christmas carol, everyone at the party feel sad… until Bob admits the party is terrible, which makes them happier to realize they are not alone in their feelings. They all end the evening on a high note and sing carols together. Among Bob’s patients are Ken Willett (King Moody), Michelle Nardo (Renee Lippin), and Barry Gorman (Harvey J. Goldenberg), who causes an issue with the Hartley’s plumbing when tries to adjust their bathroom water pressure. 1/24/16

• 015. Let’s Get Away from It Almost – 1/6/1973
  • After Bob gives Mr. Carlin advice to get away for the long weekend, he decides that he could use a trip as well. Emily suggests San Francisco, but then realizes that she is still scared to fly. Bob has her randomly pick a spot within a 300 mile radius and they wind up at a ski resort. The manager (Allen Garfield) of the resort panic when there is no snow, but Bob and Emily are happy to have the resort to themselves… until they meet up with their neighbors Hal (Chuck McCann) and Connie Miller (Joyce Van Patten). Hal is obnoxious and talkative, and he – along with the hotels’s juggling waiter Sanford Hettie (Danny Rees) and the Oom Pah Pah band – cause Bob and Emily to sneak away from dinner and go back to their room and pack. Before they can leave, Hal has a breakdown and admits that his marriage is on the rocks. Bob encourages him to tell her how he feels, but this leads to more friction and Connie yelling at Bob. The Millers make up briefly, but when they start fighting again, Bob and Emily star to head out before they can be bothered again… but the snow finally comes and snows them in. 4/4/16

• 016. The Crash of 29 Years Old – 1/13/1973
  • Carol asks for Bob’s counsel because she is feeling lost in her life. He suggests talking with Emily for some sound advice, but Carol says she’s already talked to Emily, who suggested she quit her job. Emily denies this, but Bob gets it out of her that she went along with Carol quitting when the subject came up. Carol joins Bob’s group session, and although he tries to sway Carol to stay, she finally announces to the group that she’s quitting… and she gets a big round of applause. After Bob has hired a new male secretary named Paul Sanders (Jack Bender), Carol stops by to visit the office and claims to enjoy her work at an employment agency. However later she returns and sits in another group session, confessing that she is miserable. The group helps facilitate Bob and Carol expressing their true feelings, and finally Bob taking Carol back as the receptionist. Beans Morocco aka Don Barrows is Mr. Keeney. Jill Jaress is Howard’s flight attendant Mary Ellen. 4/5/16

• 017. The Man with the Golden Wrist – 1/20/1973
  • For Bob’s 40th birthday, Emily gives Bob a Pierre Giordot watch. That day at work, no one seems to realize it is Bob’s birthday, which is how he claims to want it. Jerry is enthralled by the watch and tells Bob that it must have been very expensive. Bob verifies that it actually cost $1250 by calling the jeweler, and is beside himself about it. When he confronts Emily, she says that she bought it with her own earnings and wanted to give him a nice gift. Bob maintains that her earnings have been eaten up by her car payments, and the two get into an argument right before she insists that they go to the Parisian Room banquet hall for his surprise party. Bob mopes through the night, showing off the watch and opening gag gifts. At one point news of Bob and Emily’s argument gets around the table until Howard gets the information which by then has been misinterpreted as Bob and Emily getting a divorce because she bought him a $100,000 watch. After the party, Bob and Emily are hardly speaking, but finally Emily concedes that they can return the watch and Bob can get a more sensible one. Michael Lerner is patient Mr. Corolla. Mimi Torchin is Howard’s date Wendy Rivers. Joan Tompkins is Aunt May. 7/5/16

• 018. The Two Loves of Dr. Hartley – 1/27/1973
  • Bob’s patient Mrs. Walker (Emmaline Henry), whom he has helped lose 50 pounds, announces to Bob during a session that she is in love with him. Bob tries to convince her that she is merely experiencing transference, but she maintains she’s in love. When Mrs. Walker calls Bob at home, Emily finds out about the situation and starts to become jealous. Bob tries to convince her that it is common, but the next day he finds out that Mrs. Walker has left her husband for him. Bob had plans to watch the football game at his house with Jerry and Howard, but since Bob needs to have an emergency session with Walker, Emily hosts them alone. Beside herself with insane jealousy, she turns to Howard to spill her guts… who is no help whatsoever. When Bob gets home, he diverts Emily’s attention from Mrs. Walker by insisting that she has a jealousy problem that she needs to cope with. Emily agrees that she needs to get over it since this comes with the territory of Bob’s job. Later at Bob’s office Emily finally meets Mrs. Walker, who has happily reunited with her husband. 7/5/16 

• 019. Not with My Sister You Don’t – 2/3/1973
  • Howard’s younger sister Debbie (Heather Menzies) comes to visit him for a few weeks, and because to him she is ‘young and impressionable’, Howard tries to hide his playboy lifestyle. Emily sets her up for a date with Jerry, and when they don’t come home until 1:30am, Howard is beside himself with worry… and hangs out at Bob’s house until she comes home. The next day Howard comes to see Bob at his office where he spills his guts and has a catharsis that he worries about her because he feels guilty for leaving for the Navy when he was younger without saying goodbye to her. Bob is incredulous that he has cured Howard within minutes, and Howard and Debbie have a nice open talk… although she leaves out any information about a Frank, of whom Emily is aware. Mel Stewart is Mr. Dabney, an angry and disagreeable patient who thinks everyone hates him because he is black. 9/28/16

• 020. A Home Is Not Necessarily a House – 2/10/1973
  • Bob reluctantly go house shopping with Emily and real estate agent Shirley Wolfson (Jenna McMahon), and although Bob really likes the house, he doesn’t really want to purchase it. However after being pressured by Emily and warned by Shirley that another couple is going to take it, Bob signs off on an offer. Bob starts to immediately have remorse about the offer, and worries that it’ll be accepted and then he’ll have to go through the hassle of moving. Although Howard is showing Bob and Emily’s apartment off to some stewardesses, the Hartleys realize how much they’ll miss him and everything about the apartment… so they are quite relieved when their offer is rejected. Meanwhile Bob contends with new patient Mr. Wesley who can’t decide on what socks to wear, so he wears none. Carol bargains for a $10 raise. Dick Clair is real estate agent Roy West. Betty Palivoda is one of Howard’s stewardesses. 9/28/16

• 021. Emily, I’m Home…Emily? – 2/17/1973
  • Emily has a school committee meeting at the apartment, and Bob is forced to watch the Bulls game in the bedroom. When Emily complains that he is too noisy, he moves over to Howard’s to watch the game, but when Howard’s date Mary Ellen (Jill Jaress) shows up, Bob had to finish the game at the bar. When Emily is offered a full time job as an administrator, Bob remembers how much her meeting disrupted his life and discourages it… but she take it anyway. Bob has several adjustments to make including a maid named Marina (Alma Beltran) who doesn’t speak English cleaning the apartment, unappetizing meals of instant food, and too much free time with nothing to do. Bob even resorts to going out to dinner with Mr. Carlin, and they end up getting drunk together. When he gets home in a stupor, he tells Emily that he wants her to quit her job. Emily tells him she will quit to save their marriage, but that she will be miserable if she can’t work. Even in Bob’s state, he knows to tell her that he wants her to keep the job after all. Edward Winter is Professor Trainer. Jessica Myerson is Mrs. Warren. 12/23/16

• 022. You Can’t Win ‘Em All – 2/24/1973
  • Jerry is irritated when he finds out that Cubs pitcher Phil Bender (Julian Christopher) is seeing Bob professionally since he hasn’t introduced him to Jerry. Later Phil pitches a successful game and credits Bob on television, which triggers a barrage of congratulatory messages to Bob. Also it brings in Cubs catcher Moose Washburn (Vern Rowe) who wants Bob to help him get out of his batting slump. That night Moose strikes out and costs the Cubs the game, causing Bob to lash out at the TV and call Moose a bum. Bob feels guilty about the loss, and even more so when he finds out that Moose was traded to the Japan minor league. Moose comes over to Bob’s place for dinner before leaving and agrees that Japan is the place for him. Roy West is team interviewer Ernie Atkins. 12/23/16

• 023. Bum Voyage – 3/3/1973
  • After Bob and the patients in his therapy group have a successful moment connecting during a moment of silence, Bob has second thoughts about leaving with Emily for a 63-day cruise through Europe. When Emily pays a visit to the group, they can tell she’s upset, and when she tells them why, they all assure Bob that it will be okay with them if he goes and they promise they will see each other without him. Bob and Emily pack up and head out for the cruise, with Jerry, Carol, Howard, and eventually the entire group filling the tiny stateroom to see him off. While celebrating their departure with champagne, they nearly all get stuck on the ship when it pulls out. Eventually they get off the boat, and Bob and Emily sail away for 63 days. Archie Hahn is the steward. Pat McCormick is the tall strange man who joins the party. 4/6/17 

• 024. Who’s Been Sleeping on My Couch? – 3/10/1973
  • During a session with Michelle, Bob finds peanut butter crackers in his couch. Upon further investigation he realizes that someone has been sleeping on it at nights. Carol has no idea who it is, so Bob has his answering service phone him when someone uses his private line in the office. Bob gets the security guard Mr. Atlee (Herbie Faye) to let him in and it turns out to be Jerry, who has just been left by his girlfriend Gail for a younger man and feels sad in every room of his apartment because it reminds him of her. Bob and Emily agree to let Jerry stay with them, but he quickly starts to wear out his welcome. Carol tries to help out by asking Jerry to take her out on a date. Afterward they return to his department where she finds photos of Gail all over the apartment. They tear up the photos, and Carol lectures him about the type of women who Jerry dates and they flirt with the idea of dating each other. Jerry finally feels he can move back into his apartment. 4/6/17

SEASON 2

• 025.  Last TV Show – 9/15/1973
  • Bob is hounded by TV producer Mr. Conover to bring his group onto a local TV program Psychology in Action. Bob is reluctant although everybody else seems to want to do it… including the patients. Once the group gangs up on him and expresses their interest in doing the show, Bob caves in and allows it to happen. However once they get on the show, nearly everyone in the group gets nervous about exposing their issues and clams up, leaving Bob – who was referred to as “Dr. Robert Hartman” to flounder and ramble. When Bob gets home, even his friends who had gathered to watch the show – along with the football game – can’t even console him about the terrible program. At the next session the group apologizes and thanks Bob for speaking for them. Don Dandridge is the floor manager. 11/8/17
• 026. Motel – 9/22/1973
  • The Bears vs. Packers game is blacked out in Chicago, so Jerry has the idea to drive to Peoria and get a motel room with Bob and watch the game. Initially he doesn’t think he should leave Emily, but when she seems okay with it, they head out. Upon arrival they find only one bed, so Bob is forced to sleep on a cot. Things begin to get uncomfortable when Jerry meets two women, Angela (Barbara Brownell) and Janine (Zohra Lampert) at the motel bar. Bob feels uncomfortable that Jerry has established false names and jobs for both of them. He tries to leave, but Jerry brings him back for one more drink… which turns into a night of partying and Bob and Janine winning the Mambo contest. The next day Jerry invites the girls over to watch the game, but when the TV reception is poor, Jerry and Angela head to her room to test the TV, leaving Bob and Janine alone in the room where her attraction to him becomes apparent… as does the fact that she’s a hooker. Their day together is innocent… but Bob feels guilty. When he arrives home, he announces that Emily shouldn’t ask him about his weekend, which makes her all the more curious to know what happened. Rick Hurst in the maintenance man. 11/8/17
• 027. Backlash – 9/29/1973
  • Emily and Bob are planning a trip to Mexico, with the idea of conceiving a child, but it is obvious as they have breakfast that Bob isn’t as enthusiastic about the trip as Emily. Later that day, Bob is patted on the back by tall patient Mr. Travesco (Michael Conrad) and throws his back out. Not wanting Emily to think he’s trying to back out of the trip, he tries to hide the injury initially, but it becomes so obvious that Emily has no choice but to postpone the trip. Emily has to wait on Bob hand and foot while he watches soap operas, and eventually becomes irritated with the whole situation. Eventually Bob starts to feel a little better, so Emily re-books their trip, but on her way home from the travel agent, she realizes that she has gotten a terrible cold, so they both wind up in bed. While in bed, Emily realizes that they are upon the best time to conceive, much to Bob’s utter fear. Eventually they pack and head off for the trip with ten potential days of vacation remaining. 6/16/18
• 028. Somebody Down Here Likes Me – 10/6/1973
  • When Emily gets carried away at a church auction and purchases a $350 Bible, Bob heads down to Reverend Daniel Bradford (John McMartin) to get their money back. The Reverend is very understanding, but still manages to make Bob feel guilty enough to keep the Bible. Later Reverend Bradfords stops by Bob’s office and asks to see Bob professionally, as he feels that people only see him as a minister and not simply as a man. Bob agrees and brings him into one of the group sessions. The Reverend invites Bob and Emily to attend church that week, and then announces he is going to be leaving the ministry and publicly thanks Bob in front of the congregation. Bob blames himself, but Emily convinces him that Bradford has as much right to quit his job as any man does. Bob later finds out that Bradford left for his hometown of Bangor, Maine, ran for mayor, and is living happily. 6/21/18
• 029. Emily in for Carol – 10/13/1973
  • With Carol going on vacation to Italy for three weeks, Drs. Hartley, Robinson, Tupperman, and Phil Newman (Howard Platt) search for a temporary replacement. Miss Brennan (Teri Garr) is too ditzy, and Joan Rossi (Rhoda Gemignani) has too many stipulations, in addition to thinking that every man wants her. Jerry suggests that Emily fill in, but Bob is not in favor of the idea… until he realizes that Bernie wants to ask his annoying wife Tippi Tupperman. Initially Emily doesn’t want to do it, but Bob sweetens the pot by telling her they can spend more time together and go to nice lunches. Once she agrees, Bob scrutinizes her work a little too closely, and a few of her little mistakes annoy Bob. Eventually her unwillingness to do Phil’s laundry of lie to Jerry’s girlfriends leads them to come complain to Bob. He brings her in to the office to fire her, despite her great work, but she was planning to quit anyway. Bob convinces her to let him fire her so that she can get severance money. Meanwhile Howard announces there is a new super in the building because the security cameras got stolen, and Jerry gives Carol a going-away gift, a pen that shoots tear gas… which she accidentally sets off in the elevator. Nora Marlowe is Mrs. Manning. 1/13/19
• 030. Have You Met Miss Dietz? – 10/20/1973
  • Emily’s friend Marilyn Dietz (Mariette Hartley) moves in to the building following her divorce from Tom, and no-good wolf who had often hit on Emily. When Howard meets her, they seem to hit it off, and through a small lie about not having cocoa for Howard, she kicks off some mild dating between the two of them. Later after some lunch and wine, Emily, Marilyn, and Carol return to the office, and Emily suggests that Jerry take Marilyn to the basketball game. Howard isn’t too happy when he finds out, especially when she asks him to feed her cat while she is out with him. Jerry later confesses to Bob that he thinks he’s falling in love with her. Things come to a head when Marilyn hosts a painting party at her house and invites both of the men along with Bob and Emily. Bob shows up in his suit, and although he merely wants to eat some of the Chinese food, he winds up with his suit covered in paint. Jerry and Howard naturally bicker since they both are crazy about Marilyn, passing the blame between each other, her, Emily, and finally Bob… who is quick to point out that he is the only one who is entirely blameless in the situation. David Fresco is Mr. Brown. 1/13/19
• 031. Old Man Rivers – 10/27/1973
  • Carol confides in Bob that she is going to get a butterfly tattoo removed form her rear end, so Bob and Emily agree to have her over night and take her to the hospital the next morning. After the surgery, Jerry and the Hartleys go to visit Carol, and raves about her doctor Scott Rivers (Jeff Rivers), and tells everyone she is in love with him. They are taken aback when they assume a younger doctor (Don Fenwick) is him, but then realize that he is a much older man. Back at work, Jerry discusses his concerns about Carol dating a man that age with Bob, who says that it’s none of their business. He also brings it up with Carol, but she blows him off as well. Carol and Scott go out to see a movie with Bob and Emily and come back to their place afterward, where Howard mistakes him for Carol’s father. Later Carol confides in Bob that it’s really starting to bother her that people are making fun of them for their age difference. Bob convinces her that it doesn’t matter what other think, so she decides to go get a new dress for when she meets his parents. They end up going figure skating. Monty Margetts is the nurse. 1/10/20
• 032. Mister Emily Hartley – 11/3/1973
  • Emily becomes qualified as a psychometrist, and for practice, gives Howard an I.Q. test, but he bails before he even starts, so Bob reluctantly agrees to take the test. The next day Bob asks for the results, and she sheepishly tells him that his I.Q. is 129, which indicates that he is almost gifted. Bob forces Emily to tell him what her I.Q. is and she has to admit that hers is higher than his at 151. Bob is clearly irritated by this and thinks that it is affecting their marriage. Emily is invited to join the High I.Q. club, and Bob agrees to go as her date to their dance. Bob feels inferior in every way, especially when he wears a grey suit amidst everyone else’s tuxedos. Among the guests he meets are David Robbins (Tom Patchett), a man who can talk backwards, Ralph Hodiak (Bill Quinn), who writes an astrology column but can’t guess Bob’s sign, a hostess (Claudette Nevins), a young boy (Perry Castellano) with the same I.Q. as Emily, and a waiter (Jay Tarses) who Bob mistakes for another guest. The final blow comes when Bob is asked not be in the group picture. Bob leaves the party early and complains about it all the way home. Emily is upset that he couldn’t suck it up and let her have her night, while he explains how he had failed in baseball as a child, and finding out that she had a higher I.Q. felt like that all over again. Emily says she doesn’t believe in I.Q. tests because they don’t measure all of his other great qualities. They make up and head to bed… but Howard interrupts when he comes to the door need Bob to help him change his car’s tire eight blocks away. 1/10/20
• 033. Mutiny on the Hartley – 11/10/1973
  • After a $63 visit from his plumber Mr. Nenn (Henry Corden), and the news from Howard that the monthly rent is going up $50, Bob starts to decide whether he should raise his session rates at his practice. He runs it by Jerry, who initially questions how Bob could need more money with no overhead, but then convinces him that as a professional, he deserves more. When Bob enters his group session, he finds that the group has arrive early to celebrate their second anniversary as a group with a small party. They bring gifts for Dr. Hartley as well: Mr. Peterson brings a motivational poster, Mr. Gianelli brings a clown painting he created, Mrs. Bakerman brings a yellow knitted wallet, Michelle brings a hammer, and Elliot gives him five dollars after Bob makes change. However once Bob announces the $5 session rate increase, they all balk at him. Mrs. Bakerman, although supportive, leaves the group because she cannot afford it. Bob can’t help but feel guilty. For their next session, none of them show up at the office, but decide to go at it alone at Mrs. Bakerman’s apartment. The session quickly devolves into an arguing session, so Mr. Carlin calls Bob and asks him to come over. When he gets there, the group tells him that that they all decided to pay the raised fee, plus chip in for Mr. Bakerman’s price hike. Bob offers to simply charge her the lower rate, to which she vows to always bring her dreaded snacks. 4/26/20
• 034. I’m Okay, You’re Okay, So What’s Wrong? – 11/17/1973
  • Bob comes home one evening to find that Emily has rearranged the furniture and is in a depression. Although she doesn’t blame Bob, she is upset that his days run like clockwork with no variation. He seems to get the same accusation from Carol when he arrives at work, and she is able to recite the suits he wears on each day of the week. Jerry warns him that they may be in a rut, and advises that they see a marriage counselor. When he arrives home, Emily is in a great mood and tells him that she has booked flights for them to San Francisco, despite her fear of flying. Bob’s rigid weekend schedule prevents him from taking the trip, prompting Emily to punch him in the arm when he advises her to let out her anger. They wind up going to see female marriage counselor A.J. Webster (Katherine Helmond), who is under the weather with a bad cold. Bob is irritated by the counselor, and especially doesn’t like taking part in the role reversal, and ends up walking out of the session. Bob later surprises Emily with a trip to New Orleans, although she is reluctant to fly once again. She goes along, but tells Bob she now prefers that he remain routine and reliable. 4/26/20
• 035. Fat, Fat, and Forty One – 11/24/1973
  • With Bob’s 41st birthday coming up, he has a check-up with Dr. Klein (Bruce Kirby), who tells him that he is in great shape, but eight pounds too heavy. Bob decides to go on a diet, but is plagued by hunger everywhere he turns, even though Emily makes him smaller portions. Howard and Emily plan a birthday party for Bob, but he reiterates that he doesn’t want a surprise party. That night he wakes up in the middle of the night to check the scale and find that his weight is up. Jerry takes him to a gym where he meets Olga (Lilyan Chauvin), a 65-year old woman, who most people mistake for being younger, but Bob immediately pegs for 65. The next day at work, Bob is sore and starving, and winds up eating a liverwurst and Swiss sandwich that two elevator repair men (Ron Glass, Robert Ridgely) ask him to throw away. Bob comes home that night on his birthday lamenting that he’s been massively cheating on his diet. Emily give him a new suit that is too small in order to motivate him. Howard gives him a weight belt, Jerry gives him a diet book called Hey Fat, and Carol gives him a vegetarian cake. When Bob gets up to go to the bathroom, a group of friends hiding in the bedroom jump out and surprise him. Some time later Bob announces to Emily that he has lost ten pounds and two inches off his waist. Samantha Harper is Nurse Burke. 8/6/20
• 036. Blues for Mr. Borden – 12/1/1973
  • Howard seems to be in a good mood as he and Bob put together a model airplane for Howard’s son Howie, mostly because he seems to be getting along better with his ex-wife Lois, and even hints at reconciling. The next day Howard takes Howie to see Jerry for a check-up, and even Jerry notices that Howard seems in a better mood around Howie. Bob speculates it is because of Lois, but Jerry mentions that Howie had mentioned an ‘Uncle Mickey’. This does in fact prove to be her new boyfriend, as Howard finds out when he calls and Mickey answers. Howie tells his father that Mickey is moving in. Howard tries to remain composed, but after dropping Howie off at home he starts to lose his composure especially when he finds out that Mickey is a pilot. Howard tries to win Lois back with flowers and gifts, but he reports to Bob that it has failed and that Lois and Mickey are engaged. Howard turns to Emily and Bob for help, then disappears completely. Jerry and Carol go out looking for him and wind up in the bars getting drunk. They shop at Bob’s place, followed shortly by Howard who is drunk as well. It turns out he’s been flying around on various airplanes for three days clearing his head. He winds up meeting a stewardess named Melinda who is able to cheer him up. Later Howard attends Lois’s wedding, and then keeps Howie for their honeymoon, planning to attend the zoo with Howie’s ‘Aunt Melinda.’ Julius Harris is Mr. Billings, Bob’s large African patient with a dog named Whitey. 8/7/20
• 037. My Wife Belongs to Daddy – 12/8/1973
  • Emily’s parents Junior (John Randolph) and Aggie Harrison (Ann Rutherford) show up for a surprise visit from Seattle on night, as Bob is starting to romance Emily. They spend the evening visiting, but afterward, Bob is feeling a bit left out, as her parents are boisterous and fun-loving and Bob can hardly get in a word edgewise. They are also concerned that Emily has married someone who is so quiet and reserved, which is just the opposite of Junior, whom Emily always admired. Emily maintains that she is more in love with Bob than ever. Bob tries to go the extra mile to impress Junior by getting Jerry’s Bears tickets, but Junior upstages him by getting seats in the Bears’ owner’s box. Bob then arranges dinner at the swanky Top of the Pyle rotating restaurant, although upon arrival they find out that it isn’t rotating that night. They are able to get the best table when another group led by gentlemen Devereaux (Byron Morrow) and Milt (Dick Wilson) lets them have it. The dinner is a little awkward as Bob orders American food, while everyone else orders Italian specialties. When the ladies are away, Bob and Junior have a talk. Junior first asks where he went wrong in having Emily marry someone so unlike him, but then admits that he admires and is envious of Bob, who reciprocates by telling him how envious he is of him. They both admit they’ve been trying to impress each other all week, and come to an understanding to be themselves. Bob insists on paying the bill, despite Junior’s objections. He then realizes that he has paid Milt and Devereaux’s bill, so winds up with an expensive double whammy, but admits to Emily that it was worth it to get closer to her family. Tony Brande and Luis de Cordova are the Maitre D’s. Alberto Morin is the watier. 11/22/20
• 038. T.S. Elliot – 12/15/1973
  • Elliot needs a date to take to his real estate banquet, and asks Dr. Hartley if he thinks that Carol would accept. Bob tells him to give it a try, and to Elliot’s surprise, Carol agrees to go. As Bob and Emily are trying to clean out their apartment, Elliot brings Carol by their apartment to say hello on the way to the banquet. Elliot, who is wearing four-inch lifts in order to seem taller than Carol, confides in Dr. Hartley that he isn’t sure what to do since Carol seems to like him. They arrive at the banquet, which is at a Japanese restaurant. After Elliot shows off his date to co-worker Mr. Miller (Robert Riesel), the hostess (Shizuko Hoshi) asks them to take their shoes off, revealing Elliot’s height deficit next to Carol. The next morning, Carol raves to Bob about how much she enjoyed the date and likes Elliot, but Elliot comes in early to ask Carol to lunch and ask her to marry him. Carol is put off to the point that she has to break it off with him later than day, prompting Elliot to call Bob late at night. They meet the next morning, and Carol has had a brainless temp named Debbie Flett (Shirley O’Hara) fill in for her so she can avoid Elliot. After pleading with Carol to come back quickly, after Debbie annoys him every few minutes and refers to him as Dr. Ryan, Bob tells Elliot that although the relationship didn’t end well, it was a good experience for him to have touched and been touched emotionally by someone. Carol shows up for work and Elliot tries to avoid her, but she comes and tenderly talks to him, telling him that she really likes him but she can’t be owned the same way he would buy a piece of land. They end their conversation by agreeing to remain friends. Elliot asks Bob if he thinks that Debbie would go out with him. 11/22/20
• 039. I’m Dreaming of a Slight Christmas – 12/22/1973
  • It’s Christmas Eve, and Bob comes home in the morning with a meager tree, looking forward to an evening alone with Emily and a cooked goose. Howard stops by for breakfast and then heads off for a flight to Copenhagen. Bob goes into work for his one appointment with Mr. Peterson, and to make an appearance at the office Christmas party. He and Jerry exchange gifts, and is shocked to get a stereo, when all he gave was gloves and goggles. During his session with Mr. Peterson, Bob tells him that he seems to be cured of his anxieties and that he doesn’t need to see him anymore. Mr. Peterson is reluctant, but finally agrees and leaves to go Christmas shopping. Bob doesn’t waste time getting out of the party and heads home to Emily and the goose. After a few minutes, Carol calls and tells him that Mr. Peterson is back at the office, so Bob leaves a frustrated Emily to go see what he needs. With Mr. Peterson in a tizzy because he doesn’t think he can make it without him, Bob agrees that he can continue to see him. He tries to head home, but there are frequent power outages in the building, and then once he gets on the road, his car slides into a ditch and the battery dies. Bob ends up walking four miles home, but thinks once he thaws out, he’ll be ready for a night with Emily. Howard’s flight is cancelled so he stops by the apartment, leaving a shivering Bob determined to tell him that he can’t stay. Before he can say anything, Howard tells them that he has a guest and plans to be with her for the night. Emily gets some champagne and gives Bob his gift, but by the time she gets back to the sofa, he is fast asleep. Gene Blakely is Dr. Ralph Tetzi.  3/12/21
• 040. Oh Brother – 1/5/1974
  • Jerry has put his adopted brother Greg (Raul Julia) through dental school, and now Jerry is excited that he’s moving to Chicago and wants to help set him up in his own office. When Greg arrives, he immediately hits on both Emily and Carol, and seems to Bob to be overbearing. He also notices that Jerry seems to shrink into the background whenever Greg is around. Eventually Jerry does in fact open up to Bob about his feelings, and when Greg announces he moved into an office on the same floor, Jerry puts his fist through Bob’s door. Bob has Jerry over for dinner, and since Emily has invited Howard, they finish all of the food in one bite before they all head to the movies. The next day Bob has a new patient named Joan Rossi (Rhoda Gemignani), who can barely get her words out through tears as she whines and weeps over having dated man. Also spoiling the session is Jerry, who busts in to tell Bob that he reached his limit as Greg continues to steal his patients, and has gone into Greg’s office and wrote graffiti on his wall-size chalkboard. The Greg busts into the session looking for Jerry. Then Carol comes in to tell Bob that Greg and Jerry are about to get into a fistfight in the receptions area. Miss Rossi finally leaves, and the two brother each punch a hole in Bob’s office door. Bob is able to corral them into a session, and talk them through their issues so that they can co-exist even if they don’t always agree. Greg agrees to pay for the door, since Jerry still owes for the first door. 3/14/21
• 041. The Modernization of Emily – 1/12/1974
  • While shopping at the supermarket for their fifth anniversary dinner, they run into Mrs. Bakerman and her new box boy Roy Parker (Billy Miller), who was once Emily’s third grade student, and has now entered college. As if this didn’t make her feel old enough, after their dinner, which has gotten gradually early with each passing anniversary, Emily opens her gift from Bob and it is a blenderizer. Howard stops by and notes that this was the same gift he got for his mother. Howard brings over re-gifted champagne, but when it opens without any fizz, she finally breaks down and locks herself in the bathroom. The next morning she leaves before Bob gets up and goes shopping, coming home that night dressed like a teenage hippy. Bob is forced to admit that her outfit is ridiculous, so she locks herself away again. Nevertheless, she insists on wearing the outfit at their anniversary party that night, where everyone brings gag gifts. She enjoys talking to Jerry’s date Rosalie Shaeffer (Sharon Gless), who is also an elementary teacher, but finds she is out of touch with her as well. Carol gives Emily her gag gift, which the card notes as being incredibly tacky, and it turns out being the same shirt Emily is wearing. She finally comes back to Earth, and realizes how silly her outfit is and changes back. She blames Bob for not telling her, but he notes that he did just that and that whoever she is, he loves her. Erica Hagen is Bob’s patient Nancy Dansk. J.J. Barry is the irritated supermarket customer. 7/10/21
• 042. The Jobless Corps – 1/19/1974
  • Bob is conducting a group at work for out-of-work clients Craig Trager (Howard Hesseman), a down-on-his luck TV writer, Ed Herd (Oliver Clark), a failed vacuum salesman, Edgar Vickers (Lucian Scott), an elderly man forced out of his family business, and Shirley Ullman (Millie Slavin), a struggling hairdresser. Despite being a wealthy real estate mogul, Mr. Carlin joins the group so he can feel better about himself. Bob coaches them through their issues, and winds up buying two vacuum cleaners from Mr. Herd. Meanwhile, Howard is facing a potential strike and winds up getting a severance letter stating that he has been replaced by a computer. Bob invites him to join his group, so Howard comes along, but doesn’t seem to get much sympathy as Howard has enjoyed a successful career seeing the world. Bob relates to Howard how he once lost a job to be drummer in Buddy Rich’s band, but it lead to his successful career. During the session, Shirley and Carlin get to know each other, and start dating. Bob notes that this is what group sessions are about: helping each other. He also notes that there is more to life than having a good job. Later Howard starts work at EDS European Delivery Service, flying planes of cargo. Mr. Herd loses his job as a vacuum salesman, and starts selling encyclopedias… so Bob naturally buys a set. Emily nearly kills Howard’s plants while babysitting them because she refuses to talk to them. 7/11/21
• 043. Clink Shrink – 1/26/1974
  • While attempting to watch Monday Night Football after a hectic day at the office, Bob gets a call from Joliet prison, and they ask him to take on a new client on parole named Miles Lasco (Henry Winkler), who has been released after serving three years for armed robbery. Meanwhile, Howard’s apartment has been robbed of everything in it except the broken vacuum cleaner while he was in Paris. During their first session, Miles quickly takes a liking to Bob, and repeatedly asks him what he’s like to have. Bob mentions that he’s like a video tape recorder, and it isn’t long before Miles shows up at Bob’s apartment with the new gadget, which he claims he has purchased legally. Miles also meets Howard and surmises that the robbers might be the Hutchinson brothers or Kenny the Worm. The next day when Bob meets Mr. Lasco for their session, he finds that he is handcuffed to his parole officer Spike Coolidge (Russ Grieve). It turns out he questions his old friends the Hutchinsons and Kenny the Worm, and they would up in front of a bank and robbed it. Nevertheless, he credits Bob for teaching the difference between right and wrong, and also shows him the bill of sale on the video recorder. After Miles is taken away, Bob continues to visit with him at the prison. Howard’s old furniture is restored to his apartment, where it now sits alongside the new furniture. Len Lesser is Mr. Schwab, who Bob mistakes for the parolee, but who actually only wanted a nose job. 1/4/22
• 044. Mind Your Own Business – 2/2/1974
  • Bob is surprised when he finds out that Jerry has a boat, and is curious how he makes that much money. Jerry tells him that he has a business manager named Jeff Boggs (Ron Rifkin), and then brings him over to meet Bob. He puts his dinner on hold in order to tell Jerry and Jeff that he doesn’t need a business manager. However, when Jeff tells him that he can double his money, Bob suddenly becomes more interested. The are able to agree on a budget where Emily gets $60 per week to buy groceries, and Bob gets $50 a week for spending money. Bob quickly becomes a miser with his money when he balks at chipping in for a gag gift for Tupperman, and asks for a receipt for a 95 cent peanut butter and jelly sandwich from the lunch girl Dee Dee (Katharine Dunfee aka K.C. Ligon). Bob starts asking Jerry how much allowance he get, and although it is clearly more, Jerry won’t tell him the amount. Bob goes to see Jeff and asks for an additional $20 for the week, and Jeff gives it to him… but makes him feel guilty. That night, he picks up the groceries for Emily, then demands that she repay him the $9.24, before finally decides he can’t live like this. He tells her that he felt like a duck getting food from a feeder when he had to ask Jeff for more money. The next morning, he calls Jeff to call the whole thing off, but can only get the machine, before having Carol take a letter. Lou Cutell is Harry the Chinese Food delivery man. 1/4/22
• 045. A Love Story – 2/9/1974
  • After a session with Michelle ends at the office, Bob’s mother Martha (formerly Eleanor) shows up to be the news bearer that Bob’s sister Ellen (Pat Finley) is finally marrying her boyfriend of five years John Tobin. Bob regretfully informs her that he heard the information the night before directly from Ellen. Emily throws her the wedding shower, which is attended by Bob’s bossy Aunt Jessica (Patti Jerome). Since Bob’s baseball game is rained out, he decides to stick around for the shower as well. After the shower end, Howard stops by to see Bob, but is mesmerized by Ellen’s beauty and personality. He tells Bob minutes after meeting her that he’s in love with her. Bob warns him that he’s probably just infatuated and that she is getting married in a week. Emily hints that she wishes that Howard and Ellen would get together, but Bob tells her to stay out of it. Emily questions whether Emily really loves John, and she says that she loves him and they are very comfortable with each other. Emily doesn’t think that is good enough and thinks that Ellen is too vibrant for him. Howard comes to see Ellen during breakfast the next morning and offers to accompany her to get her wedding dress. They wind up spending the next several days together. Howard falls even deeper in love and comes to see Bob at the office to tell him his woes. Bob simply tells him that it can never be, so he needs to get her off of his mind. Just before the wedding, Howard sadly irons his clothes listening to As Time Goes By; Emily stops by to try and cheer him up but is unsuccessful. Ellen then stops by and tells Howard that she called off her wedding… all for him. Later, Martha makes another announcement: she and Bob’s father aren’t going to let the wedding chapel go to waste and plan to renew their vows. Bob tells her that he already knows, as his father had called earlier to tell him. Dorothy Love is the woman in the elevator. 5/16/22
• 046. By the Way… You’re Fired – 2/16/1974
  • Carol has been talking non-stop to her new boyfriend Don Livingston (Richard Schaal) while at work, which is causing a serious decline in her performance. Jerry tries to handle the situation by dishing out sarcasm and snide comments. He talks to Bob about the issue and says that Bob should talk to her since he can’t be direct. Bob says it hasn’t really bothered him much and encourages Jerry to be more direct with her. However, when Carol asks Jerry if he’s upset with the quality of her work, he says that there’s no problem. Meanwhile, Bob hosts a 40th birthday party for Howard at his place. Carol brings along Don, and Howard brings his stewardess friend Mary Ellen (Jill Jaress). Jerry comes alone because his date stood him up, but then Carol remembers that she had left a message for Jerry to pick her up from the aquarium. Jerry leaves to go find her, and casually tells Carol that she’s fired. The next day at work, Carol is packing up her things, but Bob tells her that Jerry didn’t mean it. When Jerry comes to work, he agrees with Bob that he really didn’t mean it, and the two reconcile. However, he mentions that she can’t make any more personal calls, and when she balks at that, he fires her again. Later, he and Bob call a meeting of some of the doctors, and they bring in Dr. Newman, Dr. Tupperman, and Dr. Tetzi. Jerry asks them to decide about whether to keep her since he’s been erratic in the situation. When they collectively can’t figure out how to answer the phone, they borrow a gentleman’s (Dick Wilson) hat and cast anonymous votes, coming up with a 2-to-2 ties. Jerry finally casts the deciding vote to keep her. Bob brings Jerry home to watch the football game, and they run into Carol and Don. They deliver the good news, and Jerry apologizes to her. Carol likewise apologizes for her behavior. Don attempts to stick up for Carol and gives Jerry a light slap on the arm. Then when he finds out he’s reversed his position, he shakes his hand. 5/16/22
• 047. Confessions of an Orthodontist – 2/23/1974
  • Fellow psychologist Dr. Frank Walburn (Roger Perry) is coming to see Bob professionally, but wants to maintain the illusion that they are having social visits. In the reception area, he is all smiles and telling jokes, but once the door closes he maintains his life is an absolute disaster. He gets a call from Leavenworth prison and is asked to come to Kansas to speak to one of his patients who has helped take over a wing of the prison and will only talk to him. He asks Bob to take on his patients on the day that he will be gone, and Bob agrees to help out. Bob struggles with getting the patients’ files from Dr. Walburn’s scatter-brained secretary Miss Brennan (Teri Garr), but he needs no introduction to his first patient, who winds up being Jerry. Although their meeting is uncomfortable, Jerry winds up telling Bob that he has been seeing Walburn because he is in love with Emily every since they’ve been working on a charity project together. Bob is stunned, and that night he wakes up Emily in the middle of the night so he can bring up the subject. Emily tells Bob that she has known that Jerry is infatuated with her for a while, but figured it was a passing phase. Bob is concerned because he thinks Jerry is legitimately in love with her. Bob arranged for Jerry to meet with both him and Emily in his office. When they all get together, the conversation is just too awkward for all three to have, so Bob excuses himself to the reception area so that Jerry and Emily can talk. Jerry realizes how ridiculous the whole thing is. Emily says she understands how they’ve been working so closely that it’s almost been like they were married. Jerry also recognizes that they were working for a common charity and goal. Jerry admits that he really did love Emily, and she tells him that she loves him as a friend and always will. Bob walks in as they are embracing, but they assure him that they’ve resolved their feelings. Miss Brennan shows up to see if Bob stole any of Dr. Walburn’s files, and Jerry asks if he can help her with her file hunting and leaves with her. Carol tells Bob that she hasn’t been oblivious to everything going on, and knows what’s been going on. She thinks that Bob, Walburn, and Jerry have entered a business investment together. Furthermore, Emily didn’t like it one bit because she distrusts Dr. Walburn, and has convinced Jerry to date his secretary to find out secrets about him. Bob tells her that her intuitive skills are amazing. 9/11/22
• 048. A Matter of Principal – 3/2/2974
  • While Bob alphabetizes his record collection, Emily grades her 3rd graders essays. She mentions that her student Richard Lewis’s father Richard Sr. is an influential member of the School Board and wants his son to skip a grade. Furthermore he is putting pressure on the principal Mr. Brimskill (Milton Selzer) to get Emily to approve it. She doesn’t think Richard is ready to move up a grade, and doesn’t like being told what to do. Mr. Brimskill comes to see Bob and hopes that he can use his psychology to get Emily to do what he asks. After Bob fills Brimskill with some coconut macaroons and grape juice that wind up all over his face, he tells Emily that he is going to skip Richard and take the pressure off of her. Emily is furious that he is overriding her, and tells him that she is going to quit. She is upset about being forced into the decision, especially since she and Bob are hosting Jerry, Carol, and Howard for a dinner party. They all have opinions as to whether she did the right thing or not. The next day at work, Bob has to contend with a patient named Mr. Trevesco (Michael Conrad) who at first claims to see a UFO, and then avers that he was taken aboard the ship by the aliens. Bob predicts to the others that he thinks Emily will keep her job, but then Emily calls and tells him that she has made her final decision and is going to quit. Bob joins Emily as she cleans her stuff out of her classroom.. Brimskill once again tries to get Emily to stay at the job, but Bob won’t undermine her decision. She tries to demand that Richard Lewis not be advances, but that is done deal. She then asks that he skim some additional students whose work is as good or better than Richard’s, but Brimskill cannot approve that either. He ultimately tells her that if she ever wants to come back, she will be welcome. One of her students named Lisa (Tara Talboy) comes in to see her and tells her that none of the other kids want her to leave. They tearfully embrace goodbye, and Emily asks that the kids give her replacement a chance. However, Lisa thinks her replacement is Bob, and she tells him that she hates him. After Bob has moved many of her things to the car, Emily tells him to start bringing them back, as she has decided not to quit after all. 9/11/22
• 049. Big Brother Is Watching – 9/14/1974
  • Bob and Emily are planning on hosting a dinner for Bob’s mother and sister, who has been living with her mother as she’s looking for an apartment closer to Bob’s and Howard’s. Ellen winds up showing up alone after having another fight with their mother. Looking for a place to stay, she doesn’t think it is a good idea to move in with Howard yet, even though they are in love and planning on getting married. Emily invites her to stay the night in their room, while Bob suffers through a night on the uncomfortable sofa bed with Emily in the den. The next day, Emily helps Ellen go apartment hunting, but it seems that Emily doesn’t like any of the one they look at. Ellen comes to visit Bob at work and asks him what he thinks about going ahead and moving in with Howard. Although Bob is clearly disturbed, he tells her that it is none of his business. She decides to move forward with living with Howard, but as she is taking her suitcases from Bob’s apartment to Howard’s, Bob tells Howard that if they take another step, he will break Howard’s legs. Ellen reminds him that he already gave his blessing to the move, and Bob says he didn’t realize he felt that way until he saw her heading across the hall. Howard won’t go against Bob’s wishes since they are best friends. With no place to live now, Carol allows Ellen to move in with her temporarily. Meanwhile, Carol is taking a gourmet cooking class and invites Jerry to come over for dinner the following Tuesday. Carol and Ellen struggle through living together for a few day, while Ellen is furious with Bob and her mother, and disappointed with Howard. On Tuesday night, Emily shows up to talk to Ellen and make peace after driving her crazy while looking for apartments, but Ellen isn’t home. Bob also stops by to apologize, and then Jerry shows up for the dinner date that Carol has forgotten about. Howard comes by to invite Ellen to move in with him again. Finally, Ellen arrives home and announces that she found an apartment on Dearborn, not far from Bob and Howard. They decide to all go out and see the place and then have dinner. They nearly forget Carol, but then Emily comes back to retrieve her. 12/29/22
• 050. The Battle of the Groups – 9/21/1974
  • During a session of Bob’s group, Michelle complains that she didn’t get a chance to talk, while the entire group consisting of Mr. Carlin, Mr. Peterson, Mr. Gianelli (now played by Dan Travanty aka Daniel J. Travanti), and Mrs. Havlicek (Lenore Woodward), complain when Bob has to cancel their next session. Bob puts forth the idea of another group marathon, whereby the group goes to a cabin in the woods to explore their feelings. Mr. Carlin previously got undressed, stood on a rock, and screamed. As the group heads out, the next group, consisting of Mr. Carlin, Mr. Herd, Mr. Vickers, Mr. Trager, and Shirley Ullman. The groups steamroll Bob into having the marathon with all of them, which he thinks might be a mistake. Back home, he also thinks it is a mistake for Emily to come along, but she talks him into it, while Ellen agrees to stay at the apartment and water the plants. Bob is skeptical about having her there alone with Howard next door, but he says he will be on a flight all weekend. Before the groups even leave on Friday evening, they start bickering over which group is getting preferential treatment from Dr. Hartley. Once they arrive, everyone clams up and they all sit in silence for a while. Bob suggests that they either start talking, go to be and reconvene in the morning, or simply go home. Emily interrupts the proceedings when she gets locked out of her and Bob’s suite. This causes resentment in everyone that they’re all in the uncomfortable cabins. To counter this, Bob spends the night in the guys’ cabin, and they all have an uncomfortable night. The next morning, they all return to the central cabin in bad moods, most of them bickering, and Mr. Carlin roaming around naked again. When Emily stops by, Bob begins bickering with her when she mentions how comfortable her bed is. He makes it clear that he never wanted her to come on the trip, but she doesn’t think he made it clear. The group quickly realizes that Emily and Bob are fighting, so they insist on spending the entire day and through the night resolving their issues. As the sun comes up, the groups decide they need to get back to the city, and Michelle once again realizes she never got to talk. With only a sleeping Mr. Herd in the room, she starts to talk about her issues with her father. When they get home, they find Howard in their room, and he tells Bob and Emily he had to cancel his flight because Ellen needed him. Much to Bob’s relief, Ellen had the flu all weekend. 12/30/22
• 051. The Great Rimpau Medical Arts Co-Op Experiment – 9/28/1974
  • Emily has purchased a blown-up photo of Bob in his fishing outfit and wants to surprise him by hanging it in his office. Howard hides it in the closet and makes sure to tell Bob not to look in there. Meanwhile, Emily notices that Bob has had a mole removed. She saw it as a ‘beauty mark’ and is upset by its removal, especial since Phil Newman charges him $85 to remove it. The next day at work, after Bob and Jerry have lunch, Jerry offers him some floss and mentions how he gives Bob free dental work. Bob mentions that he wishes Phil were just as generous, and Jerry runs with the idea of exchanging medical services with the other doctors in the building. Jerry tells all of the other doctors about the idea of a co-op, and most are enthusiastic. Emily hangs the portrait in Bob’s office, taking down some of his diplomas and certificates to make room for it. The portrait makes Bob uncomfortable, and he doesn’t want to look at it. Bob starts to see the issues with the co-op when Phil comes and complains that Bernie Tupperman is taking advantage of it. During their conversation, Tupperman’s wife Tippi’s great-aunt Mrs. Loomis (Merie Earle) comes into Bob’s office to get a check-up. When Carol brings in messages for Phil and Bob, most of them are confirming the appointments that Phil has made with the others, plus the appointment that Phil’s wife Jeanette made with Bob. He makes the decision that he’s not going to give free sessions for everyone, but rather being them into a group session. Bob takes down his portrait before the session, which quickly devolves into a disaster. Dr. Sharon Rudell (Julie Payne) interrupts the proceedings by bellowing out a loud shriek. Gynecologist Stan Whelan (Tom Lacy) tells everyone he resents gynecology jokes. Phil can’t stop laughing when Bernie reveals that he didn’t have any friends as a child. Bob winds up so frustrated that he ends the session… and the co-op. However, he has one residual patient to still see: Mrs. Loomis. Bob brings home the portrait, which winds up stored under the bed. 6/19/23
• 052. The Separation Story – 10/5/1974
  • With Emily trying to get her Masters in college and Bob holding evening group sessions and trying to finish writing an article, the couple are like ships passing in the night. They are perpetually unable to find time to get together for meals or time together. On the one night they are able to get together for a meal, Bob has to cancel because the first draft of his article is due the next day. He doesn’t know if she is at home or in the library stacks with her fellow student friend Janice, but when she finally calls Bob, she tells him that she can’t make it either… so naturally he feigns disappointment as if it were her fault. Once again they manage to find an evening to have a chicken dinner, but both of them think the other one is getting the food. They wind up with nothing but sardines, but then Janice calls and tells Emily that the microfilm projector is suddenly available. This time, they decide to just commit to just getting through the next few weeks of chaos by having Emily move into the dorm with Janice while Bob moves into a hotel near the office. The first night, Carol finds Bob sleeping in his office, and then he asks her to get him a hotel. Word spreads quickly that Bob and Emily are separated, although he insists that there is nothing wrong with their marriage. Emily shows up at the office to arrange a dinner meeting with Bob, and an inflatable office furniture salesman named Mr. Kuberski (Carl Gottlieb) follows her in, causing Carol to think that he is Emily’s attorney. Once Bob and Emily see each other, they agree to meet for dinner at his hotel. Things are slightly awkward between them when she shows up, and Bob seems amused that some of his co-workers think their marriage is on the rocks. Eventually, Bob asks why they are doing this, especially when Emily admits that she’s not getting any more work done than normal. They mutually decide to go back home together, but then Bob suggests utilizing the room. Emily jokingly says she doesn’t normally do this type of thing… but then pulls a nightgown out of her bag. Later, Howard and Ellen are relieved when Bob and Emily both show up back home together. However, Howard’s face drops when they each grab some things and head out again. Richad Stahl is the hotel bellboy. Kathryn Ish aka Katherine Ish is Mrs. Henderson, listed in the credits as Mrs. Heinsohn. Bryan O’Byrne is Mr. Doheny. 6/19/23
• 053. Sorry, Wrong Mother – 10/12/1974
  • After Bob meets with Michelle at the office to talk about the way her father has rejected her boyfriend Tank, and Jerry determines that they need a new clock in the lobby, Ellen stops by to ride home with Bob so that she can meets Howard’s son Howie for the first time. Howie has a great time with his father hanging out with Emily as they wait for Bob and Ellen to get home, but once he meets Ellen, he won’t give her the time of day. Howard thinks that it was a bad choice to come home wearing a brown sweater since Howie hates that color, and even worse, to not bring him a gift. They all head out together to Uncle Yummy’s ice cream parlor. After they all give their orders to their goofy, over-zealous waiter Dave (John Ritter), Howie becomes further annoyed with Ellen because she is the only one in the group who fails to order ice cream, and only gets coffee. When Bob orders a single scoop, another waiter named Phil (Steve Dolan) joins Dave in singing a song about Bob being a party pooper for being a ‘single-scooper’. Ellen is upset because she thinks Howie hates her, but Bob thinks it is a natural reaction to having someone new introduced into his life. After Howie declines Ellen’s invitation to go to the aquarium together, Howie happily goes to the aquarium with Emily. They stop at Bob’s office and Emily asks Bob to help get to the bottom of why Howie doesn’t like Ellen. By role playing with a puppet, Bob finally gets out of Howie that he doesn’t want her to be his new mother, and that he much prefers Emily. Later, Ellen comes over to Bob’s upset that Howie won’t eat the food she prepared, even when it is his favorites. Ellen gets angry at Emily for stealing her thunder. Howard is mad at Ellen for not doing everything right. And Bob is angry that Ellen has disrupted his dinner and has never paid him back $1000 she borrowed to open an antique store. Howie comes over and asks for some franks and beans now that his are cold. Ellen refuses to let him have anything else but tells him that she will warm them up. Howie suddenly gives her a warmer reception and seems happy when she offers to take him to the aquarium the next day. Howard tells Bob that the $1000 can be his wedding present to them. Since Jerry’s fancy artistic clock is so hard to read, he buys a barometer. However, it is obvious that it doesn’t work when Bob comes in with an umbrella after the barometer predicted clear weather. 10/14/23
• 054. The Grey Flannel Shrink – 10/19/1974
  • A former patient named Charlie Colton (John Anderson) stops by the office to thank Bob for the great job he did with him, and to offer him a designer paper weight as a gift, as well as an offer to come work at his company Loggers Insurance. Bob is resistant to leaving his own job, his office, his parking space, and his own schedule. However, Mr. Colton offers him a huge amount of money which keeps going up and up. Meanwhile, Bob makes his own dinner as Emily is on her way to Seattle for her parents’ wedding anniversary. Howard stops by to tell him that he is having dinner with his ex-wife to talk about Howie’s summer camp. Bob keeps getting more calls from Mr. Colton to convince him to work for him. Finally, Bob agrees to go see the office at Loggers. Colton shows him around, along with his entourage Wes Greenfield (Edward Winter), Paul Hollander (Jerry Fogel), and Susan Wick (Mary-Robin Redd). Susan’s specialty is death projections, and she predicts that Bob will live to be 77. While Bob is enjoying making some golf putts in the office after everyone leaves, Wes returns and talks to Bob about the stress he faces as the heir apparent to become president of the company. Later, Bob meets with Mr. Herd and tells him that he can only see him during the evenings now that he’s taken the day job at Loggers, naturally making Herd feel rejected. Jerry and Carol give Bob a send-off for his last full day at the office, and Jerry offers up Carol to be his new receptionist, much to Carol’s surprise. Howard offers his support to Bob and offers to buy his insurance from Loggers. Over at Loggers the next day, Bob hosts a group session with the staff at Loggers. As the session ends, Mr. Colton stops by to tell Bob that the Board all talked about Bob, and that they think he is doing a great job… too great of a job. They weren’t happy that he made them feel they didn’t have to work so hard to make their numbers, nor were they happy with Colton for suggesting Bob for the job. He tells Bob he is fired, and then Wes stops back by to tell Colton that they need to talk in the President’s office… which Wes now occupies. He tells Colton that he’s going back out onto the road, and Colton wants to set some new appointments up with Bob. Upon his return, Bob tells Jerry he wants his parking space back. 10/14/23
• 055. Dr. Ryan’s Express – 10/26/1974
  • Bob is hosting a group for men and women over the age of sixty with Mr. Vickers (Lucien Scott), Mrs. Chaney (Maxine Stuart), and Mrs. Della Vella (Paula Victor). Mr. Carlin also sits in the group despite being just under 35 years old. Meanwhile, Carol is going to Wichita for a funeral, so Jerry asks Bob to look into hiring a replacement. Bob is tired of it always falling onto him, so he insists that Jerry find someone. When Bob gets home, he finds that Smitty’s Drapery Nook has installed the new curtains that Emily ordered, but they only drape to about a foot above the floor. Once again, Bob is annoyed that he is asked to call and get the problem corrected. When Bob returns to work the next day, he finds that Jerry has brought in Debbie Flett, the inept receptionist who constantly refers to Bob as Dr. Ryan. Within minutes she has spilled coffee all over Bob’s desk and added salt to his coffee. Bob demands that Jerry fire her, but he has so much trouble working up the courage, that he shows up at Bob’s house that night drunk, asking for help calling the employment agency to have her fired. Jerry does indeed fire her but tells them that his name is Robert Hartley. Bob is also furious with the drapes that are now lowered by a foot, leaving the top of the windows exposed. The next morning, Debbie is still at the office, claiming that she didn’t hear from the agency, mostly because her phone has been shut off. When Bob meets with the over-sixty group again, Debbie finally gets the word from the agency that she’s been fired, but since she has no idea who Robert Hartley is, she goes crying to ‘Dr. Ryan’ in front of the group members. She winds up joining the group, where they all blame Bob for being so impatient with her instead of trying to work with her to make things easier for her to understand. Bob becomes convinced that they are right and agrees to give Debbie another chance, thanking them for calling him out. Debbie then brings each member of the group their coffees… one cup at a time. Once Carol returns, she finds that her desk is in complete disarray from Debbie’s stay with them. At home, the curtains have been corrected, but won’t close. When Smitty’s calls and asks for recommendations on hiring additional help, Bob recommends Debbie. 2/16/24
• 056. Brutally Yours, Bob Hartley – 11/2/1974
  • While Bob is taking shots of Emily with his new camera, Emily tells him that she is planning a dinner date at their apartment with Jerry and his date, and Emily’s co-workers, a couple named Ed (Lawrence Pressman) and Janet Hoffman (Rose Gregorio). Later that day at work, Bob holds Mr. Carlin and Michell after their group session to tell them that their bickering is becoming disruptive to the session. He suspects that they might like each other but are always masking their affection by bickering. He suggests that they are honest with each other, but when Bob lets Carol off the hook when she tells him she doesn’t have time to type a letter for him before leaving to get to a hair appointment for her date, Carlin and Michelle call him out about not telling Carol his honest feelings. He rectifies this by demanding that she stay and type the letter before leaving to get ready for her date. Then when Jerry cancels out on him, Bob is honest with him too and tells him that it stinks. Bob and Emily suffer through the dinner, as Ed and Janet are over-zealous in their desire to be friendly, complimenting them about anything that comes up. Then they are pushy about arranging a follow-up dinner with Bob and Emily, so Bob again decides to be honest and tells them how he really feels about how they are trying too hard, causing them to storm off. Meanwhile, Carlin calls him and tells him that he and Michelle are out on a date and thinks that Michelle is in love with him. He wants to get her drunk, but Bob discourages this. The next day, Carlin and Michelle are insulting everyone in the group, so Bob tells them to tone it down, and be honest, but “not too honest.” Emily stops by for lunch and tells Bob she is sick of having to avoid the Hoffmans at work all day long. He agrees to call them, but they stop by unexpectedly while Bob is watching an old golf program, Classics of the Links, and eating snacks. They apologize for coming on too strong and admit that being new to Chicago, they were definitely trying to force a friendship. When Ed mentions that he was a caddy for one of the golfers, Cary Middlecoff, who Bob is watching on TV, they realize they have a mutual love of golf and head out ot all-night driving range. Janet is honest with Emily and tells her that she makes the worst coffee she’s ever had. 2/16/24

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