The Terrible Catsafterme

SEASON 1 – NBC

Created by Reinhold Weege

Theme music composed by Jack Elliott, performed by Ernie Watts on saxophone

• 001. All You Need Is Love – 1/4/1984
  • At Criminal Court Part 2 in Manhattan, New York, the court clerk Lana Wagner (Karen Austin) anxiously awaits the arrival of a new night court judge. Sharing in her anticipation are public defender Sheila Gardner (Gail Strickland), prosecutor Dan Fielding (John Larroquette), and bailiffs Bull Shannon (Richard Moll) and Selma Hacker (Selma Diamond). When 34-year old Harry T. Stone (Harry Anderson) arrives, no one recognizes him as the judge until he reveals himself amidst his unorthodox humor and antics. His first case is cut and dry as he quickly fines his his old friend Leonard ‘Hacksaw’ Hammond (Andrew Bloch) for playing Three Card Monte. His second case involves a married couple Phil (Joseph V. Perry) and Louise Kerr (Peggy McCay), whose fight over Phil’s tryst with hooker Carla Bouvoir (Rita Taggart) led to Louse firing a gun, which gets her charged with attempted murder. Harry insists that the couple go have coffee together with their lawyers and work it out. Dan and Shelia return with clothes torn after the melee that ensued. Lana starts to believe that she can’t work with Harry, especially when he uses a two-headed coin to presumably determine their fate. But when the chips are down, Phil doesn’t want to see Louise go to jail, so the couple make up. Harry earns the respect of his peers. He also admits that he got his job when the Mayor, on his last day in office, goes down a long list of prospective candidates for the job, and although he was last on the list, he was the only one home to take the call…and the job. Luke Andreas is the painter. Matt Landis is the courier. Cal Gibson is the shouting man in the gallery. Charlotte Portney is the stenographer. Eugene “Pineapple” Jackson appears in the jury. 3/29/16
• 002. Santa Goes Downtown – 1/11/1984
  • A man who insists that he is the real Santa Claus (Jeff Corey) is arrested for trespassing into a department store. He seems to know a lot about all of the staff. Furthermore he maintains that he is the one true Santa and when he dies, the title will be passed on to someone else, inferring that it will be Harry. Meanwhile two runaways named Eddie Simms (Michael J. Fox) and Mary Elaine Montgomery (Olivia Barash) who are picked up for shoplifting and refuse to give their names. Santa tries to be friendly with them, but Eddie is very hostile and ends up causing Santa to lose his temper and have a heart attack. He recovers quickly and when the runaways identities are sent over by the police, Santa asks if he can pretend to know their names so that he can get them to believe in something. The kids are amazed, but when Santa’s doctor Peter Green (Richard Stahl) comes to take Santa – actually John Stevens – back to the psychiatric home, Eddie becomes even more bitter and nearly goes into meltdown mode until Harry gives him a hug. The kids feel much better, and Harry admits that Santa got his information from the missing persons report… but when they read it, they find two different names on it. Later Harry finds a reindeer roaming the courthouse. Public defender Liz Williams (Paula Kelly) replaces Sheila – although this is not mentioned in the episode. John Bear Staible makes his first of 74 uncredited appearances as a bailiff. 3/29/16
• 003. The Former Harry Stone – 1/18/1984
  • Al Craven (Terry Kiser), reporter with The Gazette, snoops around looking for sensationalist stories at the precinct. When the gang decides to create a pool to guess how old Harry is, and Lana attempts to get his personnel file, she ends up with a sealed criminal record of Harry’s, prompting Craven to increase his snooping efforts. Meanwhile Harry hears a case involving a groom named Ronald McKenzie (Joey Aresco), who goes berserk during his wedding when he finds out that his bride Vickie Guyer (Judy Landers) appeared nude in Stud magazine. When Harry find out that Craven knows about criminal file, he decides to come clean in court. He admits that as a teenager he went on a joyride in a stolen car and ran it into a liquor store. He relates this story to the church case, as they both involve indiscretions of youth that come back to haunt them. He gives Ronald a suspended sentence Craven decides not to run with the story. The couple gets back together, and Harry performs their ceremony in his own unique style. A bum (Barney Martin) hangs around the precinct and woos Selma. Harry reveals his age as 34…and wins the pool himself. 6/9/16
• 004. Welcome Back, Momma – 2/1/1984
  • Harry hears a case against Eleanor Brandon (Janis Paige), who through a rock through a window, and who also claims to be Harry’s long lost mother who abandoned him when he is five. Harry is initially not interested, but as she seems to come up with more facts about his past, Harry agrees to spend some time talking with her. Eleanor’s son Leonard (Peter Jurasik) shows up to pick up his mother, and the judge realizes that Eleanor has fabricated the entire story based on information that she had read about him in order to find a son who will pay attention to her. Harry sentences Leonard for contempt of court, but then drops it. Leonard becomes possessive of his mother when Harry offers to take her out, which indicates that she won’t be as lonely anymore. Harry nearly throws away the only picture he has of his real mother, but then saves the picture and hides it in one of his law books. Meanwhile Harry hears a case in which a group of beauty contestants attack an unscrupulous promoter named Guy Harris (Paul Kreppel) for luring them to New York under the guise of a legitimate contest. Dan hits on Miss Chad (Daureen Collodel), Miss Italy (Stephanie Faulkner), Miss Spain (Maria Rubell), and Miss Japan (Adele Yoshioka). Bull keeps inadvertently offending Miss Sweden (Lena Pousette). The judge finds the models not guilty and releases them to their respective consulates. Miss Sweden finally makes amends with Bull. Martin Garner is Bernie, who runs the lunch counter newsstand. Melanie Vincz is Barbara “Buffy” aka Miss U.S.A.  6/10/16
• 005. The Eye of the Beholder – 2/8/1984
  • Bull is turned down from joining a Volunteer Fathers organization because of his appearance and size, causing to loathe himself and everyone around him as he laments not being able to help anyone. Meanwhile a police officer (Michael Alaimo) is pursuing a blind man named Ralph Foley (Al Ruscio) around the building after the man was arrested and had given the officer the slip. A porn actress named Iris Keller (Jennifer Richards) and her producer Vincent Grago (Stanley Brock) are arrested for filming a pornographic film in Central Park, with witness Leonard Blum (Philip Sterling) acting as eyewitness. Dan is excited to review the tape in the chambers, while Bull, in his depression, climbs onto the roof to ‘think’. Harry gets him down by telling him that Liz has broken her leg. Harry then catches Foley and coldly threatens to send him to prison, getting Bull to step in and volunteer to have him released into his custody. Bull, now feeling better, promises Selma he will never run off on her again. 8/31/16
• 006. Death Threat – 2/15/1984
  • A defendant claiming to be God (Phil Leeds) is arrested for trashing a diner, Dan tries to cheat a shoeshine boy named Anthony Rodriguez (Gabriel Gonzalez) out of two dollars, and a rock is thrown through the courtroom window with a death threat to Harry. Lana calls in homicide detective Womack (George Murdock) to investigate. A bomb is left on Harry’s chair but a bomb expert named Lou (Jack Murdock) identifies it as being phony. Womack then catches the perpetrator getting under Harry’s car hood, and it is identified to be Anthony the shoe shine boy, whose father Antonio had been sent up by the judge. Harry conveniently pulls Rodriguez’s file out of his desk and tells Anthony that he was getting ready to make a case for freeing him when eligible. God tells Harry that he’s proud of him. 8/31/16
• 007. Once in Love with Harry – 2/22/1984
  • Lana is irritated with Harry for not rebuffing the flirtation of prostitute Carla B. She tries to tell Carla that she doesn’t have the substance it takes to win a man like Harry. Meanwhile Dan is depressed that he is losing his run for City Council, even though his opponent has died. A neighboring judge named Robert T. Willard (Jason Bernard) visits Harry to encourage him to abandon his unconventional behavior and join their exclusive judge ‘club’. As  everyone including Willard convenes in Harry’s office to watch the election returns, they find Carla waiting in a towel, and in her embarrassment she throws her clothes out the window and climbs onto the ledge, having thought that because Harry is nice to her that he is in love with her as she is him. She climbs out on the window much to the consternation of Willard. Harry explains the intricacies of feelings and falling in love, which makes her feel better. Harry tells Judge Willard that he’s not interested in his club. Dan loses the election, but is given a cake by his co-workers anyway… which he stuffs into his briefcase. Bunny Summers is the cafeteria cashier. Howard Honig is the disheveled man. 11/20/16
• 008. Quadrangle of Love – 2/29/1984
  • Dan is crazy about new prosecutor Suzanne Whitfield (Caroline McWilliams) and is walking on air. Meanwhile Harry is desperately searching for tickets for a Mel Torme concert. When one the defendants is ticket scalper Leo Bell (Henry G. Sanders), Harry nearly drools over his Mel Torme tickets. Suzanne sees this and asks Harry to go with her to the Torme concert since she has an extra ticket. Dan and Harry then find out that Suzanne is also going on a date with Bull, much to Dan’s irritation. Harry simultaneously tries to tell Dan that he is going to the concert with Suzanne, while also attempting to ease the tension between Dan and Bull. Lana also becomes jealous that Harry is going out with Suzanne, while Liz reports that Dan and Bull are fighting in the cafeteria. Harry berates Bull for throwing around Dan, but it turns out that Dan was choking on an olive. Bull and Dan make up and tell each other that the other can have Suzanne, who takes issue with being passed around like a toy. Dan and Bull apologize and give Harry permission to to go with her… but not before Harry burns the ticket as a token gesture. He ends up simulating a Torme concert in his office with a cutout of Torme to the tune of Jeepers Creepers. George Wallace is the doctor. 11/21/16
• 009. Wonder Drugs – 3/7/1984
  • Not only does Lana seem irritated with her fiancée, but she has a virus as well. When Lana starts acting bizarre during a court case against unruly clown Emil Dutton (Jack Riley), Harry takes her back to chambers where Lana kisses Harry. When he calls her doctor, he finds out that the medicine that she’s taking can cause numerous side effects including increased libido. As Harry tries to take care of her while doing an interview with reporter Steven Bostwick (Lionel Mark Smith), Lana starts to feel rejected and resentful about the kiss, storming around the court causing a scene. Eventually she passes out, and wakes up hours later embarrassed by all she has done. During their conversation later, it becomes evident that the medicine just uncovered Lana’s true feelings, and that Harry potentially would feel the same way if Lana wasn’t engaged. Ron Feinberg is the man in the dress. Arva Holt and Sandy Martin are ladies in the court gallery. Eugene Jackson appears uncredited as a shoeshine man. 3/2/17
• 010. Some Like It Hot – 3/14/1984
  • During a heat wave where the building mechanic Art Fensterman (Mike Finneran) has shut down the air conditioning and elevator to prevent a full power outage, Russian immigrant Yakov Korolenko (Yakov Smirnoff) is brought to trial for selling stolen watches. Harry decides to hold him until a translator can be found, but Yakov fears jail and torture like he has seen in his company. He manages to get loose and douses himself with gasoline and threatens to set him self on fire if he isn’t freed. Liz tries to support Yakov by handcuffing himself to her, but then forces Dan to handcuff himself to Liz. They wait in chambers while Dan struggles with controlling his full bladder. As Lana tries to secure a translator from a Russian restaurant, Harry is able to communicate enough with Yakov to gain his trust. Ultimately Yakov gives his lighter to Harry and, confidence in Yakov’s innocence, they become friends. Dan and Liz are eventually separated and Dan is finally able to use the restroom. NOTE: This is the last episode for Karen Austin, and her character Lana’s departure is never explained. 3/3/17
• 011. Harry and the Rock Star – 3/21/1984
  • Harry goes onto a talk show, but the host (Paul Ryan) can’t seem to gain control when Harry hits it off with another guest, a famous rock star named Jennifer Black (Kristine DeBell). They go on a date and soon the courtroom is overrun by teenager punk fans and journalist Al Craven. With the disruption the fans are causing, Harry realizes he can’t continue to date her. Jennifer sneaks in to see Harry, but they can still get no privacy from the fans. The end up hiding in a bathroom stall, where Harry makes her understand why he can’t continue to see her because of the disruption he is causing to his work. Meanwhile the gang tries to contend with a stern and unfriendly new clerk of courts named Mavis Tuttle (Alice Drummond). Laura Summer and David Michael Cain are fans. Wil Albert is the man in the restroom. 8/19/17
• 012. Bull’s Baby – 3/28/1984
  • Bull has been out of sorts at work, coming in late and walking around dead on his feet. When he collapses while judge is dealing with a nudist named Guy T. Reynolds (Alex Hentaloff), Harry forces it out of him to admit his problem: he is taking care of a baby. Harry and Selma and the gang visit Bull at his apartment and find out that Bull’s neighbor Mary (Murphy Cross) left the baby Ernie (voiced by Tom Williams) with him five days earlier. Dan, Roz, and the new clerk of courts Charley Tracy (D.D. Howard) visits as well after Harry is forced to change Ernie’s diaper. Harry wants to report the mother to the authorities but Bull is convince that she will be back. As Bull finally gives in, Harry runs into Mary who has has in fact returned. Mary admits she couldn’t abandon Ernie and takes him home, and the judge agrees there will be no charges against her. The baby’s first word as they leave is ‘Bull.’ 8/20/17
• 013. Hi Honey, I’m Home – 5/31/1984
  • Charley throws away Harry’s lucky rabbit’s foot and spends her time going through the garbage to find it, while a black cat beings stalking Harry. Bernie pursues trying to date Selma, saying she would be perfect to settle down with. Harry hears a case against Vietnam war veteran Mitchell Bowers (Charles Napier), who was legally declared dead when he was taken prisoner of war. He is charged with breaking and entering when he tries to enter his wife Nora’s (Marcia Rodd), who has since re-married the nebbish Duane Sedgwick (Basil Hoffman). Tempers rise and Bowers accidentally punches Dan. Harry helps with the dispute by suggesting that Nora be with both of them at the same time, which forces both men to realize how upset Nora is about the situation. Duane decides to step aside for his wife’s sake, but then Mitchell realizes that she will be happier with Duane, who is more of a homebody, and steps aside himself. Charley recognizes how lucky Harry is with his Solomon like advice, and then hands his rabbit’s foot, now covered in garbage, over to him. The cat takes a plunge through the building’s mail slot but survives. Selma expresses that she has no interest in marriage, but allows Bernie to take her out… and spend the night at her place. Milt Kogan is the doctor. 2/20/18

SEASON 2

• 014. The Nun – 9/24/1984
  • Harry hears a case involving petty robber Mr. Pina (Michael Tucci) who robbed a nun named Sister Sara Williams (Dinah Manoff). Harry’s silliness makes Sara laugh uncontrollably, and she later returns to the courthouse out of her nun’s habit, telling him that his carefree attitude helped her to decide to quit the convent. She wants Harry to take her out on a date, but he tries to avoid it by hearing as many cases as he can, but finally has to call for a break when a case involves prostitute Anita Fries (Randee Heller) who punched her customer Arnold Burger (Earl Boen) when he wanted to involve food in their transaction. Harry takes Sara to a Japanese restaurant where she gets drunk and depressed that he is rejecting her, and then passes out. Harry carries her back to his chambers where he meets Mother Frances (Lu Leonard), who is offering counseling so that Sara can make a smooth transaction back to the secular world. Harry tells Sara that after she goes through that, anything is possible between them, and gives her a kiss. Dan pursues the new District Attorney (Sharon Barr), who has nothing but contempt for him. Her hatred seems to climax with her agreeing to a one-night stand with him, but then she pulls the rug out and tells him that she is only kidding. Charles Robinson is the new court clerk Mac Robinson. Ernest Harada is restaurant manager Ernie Tanaka. Hal Bokar and Jac Jozefson are restaurant patrons. 2/22/18
• 015. Daddy for the Defense – 10/4/1984
  • Interim defense attorney Christine Sullivan (Markie Post) arrives at court for her first night of the job, and along with her comes her father Jack Sullivan (Eugene Roche) to watch her first case. She defends a man named Keith Landon (Paul Lieber), who smashed up a record store because he believes the devil has placed backward masking in various music, and brings along various samples. As she tries to get his testimony stricken from the record, Jack keeps interfering to the chagrin of Harry, who eventually charges him with contempt and has him arrested.  Meanwhile Selma has had a bunion removed and crawls into court high on the anesthetic. Bernie tries to take care of her since she refuses to return to the hospital. Christine is furious that Harry has charged her father, and he agrees to release him if he apologizes. Harry eventually sustains Christine’s motion to have her client receive a psychiatric evaluation. Christine gets angry at her father for always interfering, so Harry mediates a reconciliation between them. Jack makes his apologizes and Harry releases him to go. Harry also insists that Selma go home, but she says she hasn’t missed a day in 27 years. Harry lets her perform one official act so she can leave and say she hasn’t missed a day. Tessa Richarde is Aphrodite. Jay Kerber is Alan Kitch. 11/5/18
• 016. Billie and the Cat – 10/18/1984
  • Another interim defense attorney Billie Young (Ellen Foley) and her assistant Brad Tallman (John Scott Clough) show up at court, and Dan is able to make a date quickly with Billie. Her first case is to defend Miles Seaver (Don Calfa) who is accused of stealing a cat used in TV commercials for Kitty Kitty Cat Food, although he claims that the cat Ruffles once belonged to him. Roger Blair (Joel Brooks), a representative for Kitty Kitty, claims they found the cat in an animal shelter. Billie admits that she has possession of the cat, but refuses to tell the judge where the cat is. Harry finds her in contempt, throws her in jail, and Brad has to take over for her, despite being physically sick. He has to defend two ruffians (Bob Perlow, Luis Contreras) and a hooker before getting sick again. Harry goes and sees Billie in jail, and tells her that he admires her position and would probably do the same thing, still insisting he must uphold the law. She still refuses to give up the cat, worrying Dan that their date will be canceled, and staying up all night waiting to see if she changes her mind. Billie refuses to give up the cat, but Seaver eventually buckles when offered $50,000 for the cat and tells her to give up the cat. Dan tries to convince her to go out at the end of the next work day, but Billie is too bushed, so Dan falls asleep on the courtroom floor. Yana Nirvana is the hooker in the cell. 11/5/18
• 017. Pick a Number – 10/25/1984
  • Harry is approached by a man named Leo Baldassari (Sydney Lassick), who has an uncashed three million dollar lottery ticket and wants Harry to determine who is most worthy to receive it. When word gets out via reporter Al Craven, the courtroom fills with people faking illness, handicap, and destitution. Their insincerity leads Harry to determine that Leo himself is the most worthy since he is the most selfless. Leo decides to invest in a play called Mussolini with the producer Arnie Prince (Bobby Ramsen). Meanwhile Dan pursues the busty Mary Jo Martin (Jennifer Richards), who is new with the D.A.’s office and is there to observe Dan. However even he cannot come to terms with how dumb she is, and eventually breaks it off. It turns out to be a ruse instigated by Selma to keep Dan from continuously pursuing her. Russ Marin is the representative from the lottery commission. Ralph Manza is Jerome Chapel. William Utay is Ivan Brewster. Eda Reiss Merin is Gertrude Stuckey. Gary Allen is Mr. Runyon. Don Sherman is the man with the eyepatch. 8/17/19
• 018. Computer Kid – 11/1/1984
  • Harry hears a case involving parents Alan (Matthew Faison) and Phyllis Simon (Miriam Flynn), whose son Jeremy (Christian Brackett-Zika) hacked the school’s basketball scoreboard and declared that his teacher Anthony Porcaro (Richard Mehana) is wearing a toupee, resulting in him suspending Jeremy, and his parents attacking Porcaro. They settle the case on their own when Alan agrees to supply furniture for Porcaro’s office at cost. However Jeremy later steals Porcaro’s toupee, locks himself in Harry’s office, and highjacks the school’s records demanding money and a jet for its return. Computer specialist Mr. Platt (Fred Applegate) is unable to restore the files and has only admiration for Jeremy’s work. Harry tries to intervene and finds out that Jeremy’s anger stems from having no friends and never having fun. He lectures the parents who promise to turn over a new leaf. Billie is inspired to moon New York, which inspires others in other buildings to do the same. Meanwhile Dan’s phones are out so he relies on the hobo Darrell Wainwright (Blackie Dammett) to make his calls. Blackie turns out to be a former financial adviser and great asset to Dan. Anthony Holland is Ralph Kremski. Jerry Maren appears unbilled. 8/17/19
• 019. Bull Gets a Kid – 11/8/1984
  • Bull is assigned a ‘son’ by the Volunteer Fathers Organization, and he brings the new kid named Andy to the courthouse to meet everyone. They get along swimmingly, but soon Billie catches Andy in the ladies room and finds out that the kid is actually a girl named Stella (Pamela Segall), who has disguised herself as a boy in order to find a father figure role model. When Bull finds out, he is beside himself and retreats to the roof, where he gets a lecture from Harry that girls sometimes need fathers too. They call Stella’s mother Anita (Peggy Pope) who comes to get her from the courthouse. Before she leaves, Bull admits that he was being selfish and would be honored to be a father to her, no matter what sex she is. Meanwhile Dan is desperate for a date with Candy (Diane Stilwell), but she can only go out with him if he can manage to get sold-out tickets to a Jets game. Mac has such tickets, so Dan begs and badgers him until Mac finally agrees to give Dan the tickets… for $1000. Later Dan finds out that someone else has given Candy a ticket to be on the field for the game. The gang later plays poker together, and Bull stops by with Stella, now wearing a dress, as they head to the opera. Philip Bruns is Mr. Hubble, a New York City tour guide, who hates the city after getting mugged, and in turn mugging a group of Japanese tourists. 3/14/20
• 020. Harry on Trial – 11/15/1984
  • An investigator from the Judiciary Review Board named Peter DeMarco (Vincent Schiavelli) has been snooping around asking questions of everyone about Harry. Although his co-workers aren’t supposed to tell him, they all go put in extra effort to keep Harry from messing around in the courtroom. DeMarco finally makes himself known, and tells Harry that he is being brought up before the review board at the behest of Judge Willard, and that DeMarco had gathered enough evidence to support it. Harry and Willard meet with Judge Martin A. Landis (Ray Walston), with Harry defending himself. Willard brings in Dan, Selma, and Bull as witnesses and all of the faithfully defend Harry’s honor. Judge Landis is about to dismiss the case when Willis and DeMarco bring in Carla B., a prostitute who recently spend the night at Harry’s apartment. Harry refuses to allow her to testify and instead agrees to quit the job. Later Landis comes and visits Harry and to tell him that his younger whimsical self in Harry. Carla also comes to plead with Harry not to quit, and tells Landis the truth about why she spend the night: she had just recently had to identify the body of a fellow prostitute friend, and became very scared and alone, seeking the comfort of the Judge’s counsel. The judge immediately drops the case against Harry, although Bilie thinks it is because she demanded it of him. They have a welcome back party for Harry and give him a Mel Torme lunchbox and Judge Willard’s desecrated dickey. Dorothy Andrews is the cafeteria cashier. Biff Yeager is the bailiff. 3/14/20
• 021. Harry and the Madam – 11/24/1984
  • Harry find a courtroom full of lovely ladies who turn out to be hookers who were turned in by a disgruntled former worker named Angela Korchak (Linda Hunt). An undercover officer has confiscated some of the papers of the famous and respected Madame Irene Danbury (Stella Stevens), including her private diary that exposes many of her notable clients. Irene begs Harry to return the diary to her before it can be entered into evidence. Harry sympathizes, but ultimately upholds the law to allow it. Meanwhile reporter Al Craven snoops around the courthouse looking for a story and tries to get information on what’s in the diary as well. Harry protects Irene from him, and chats with her while on dinner break. When Irene recalls a four-star general she once had ‘business’ with, Harry gets an idea. When court reconvenes, Harry kills time until Major Roy Pritchard (Philip Abbott) show up so he can take a look through the diary and declares it a ‘threat to national security interests’, confiscating all copies of it, which earns a great deal of appreciation form Irene. Meanwhile Mac stores a giant turkey in Harry’s office, which he intends to take to his family’s house upstate and kill and eat for Thanksgiving. Bull takes a liking to it and names it Skip, then later has Selma tell Mac that Bull has taken it to the roof to set it free. When Mac runs up there, Bull escapes with turkey. Diane Kennerly is the hooker who mocks Selma. Dawson Mays is a reporter. 6/25/20
• 022. Inside Harry Stone – 11/29/1984
  • Thinking they are going to a Japanese restaurant, Harry and the gang visit the establishment that is now inhabited by a Greek restaurant run by Papa Jack (Titos Vandis). While trying the flaming squid dish, Harry suffers tremendous stomach pains and has to head back to the courthouse where a gynecologist (John O’Leary) from the restaurant assists him and advises him to see a specialist. Although Billie strongly encourages Harry to follow his advice, but Harry thinks that laughter is the best medicine. That night while hearing a case in which sanitation worker Phillip Falcone (Phil Rubenstein) is attacked by angry homeowner (Edward Antoine) for making too much noise, and they then tussle throughout the waste. The stench helps put Harry into the throes of another vicious stomach pain attack, and this time they rush him to the hospital, where he meets his roommate Kenny Beilin (John Astin), a jovial man who has no issues but just enjoys being in the hospital. Dr. Glass (Jeff Harlan) tells Billie and the gang that he suspects an ulcer, but that Harry refuses to be tested. Despite his continuous pain, he just wants to go home. It is only Billie who can finally talk some sense into him when she tells him how much she cares for him and doesn’t want to lose him. Kenny is finally dismissed from the hospital, and jumps out the window so that he can stay with his numerous broken parts. Harry’s test reveals that he had swallowed a whistle that was causing the pain. He does in fact confirm that three weeks earlier the whistle prize he expected in his bowl of Zippy Bits. Billie is upset that she professed her feelings over a whistle. Papa Jack brings flowers, but Harry is already gone. He breaks into tears thinking that Harry has died. Marji Martin is the fat nurse who hits on Dan. 6/26/20
• 023. The Blizzard – 12/6/1984
  • In the midst of a blizzard, the maintenance man Art Finsterman cannot get the heat fixed, and Harry refuses to adjourn court. He hears a case whereby a man named Warren Wilson (Jack Riley) attacked a man named Frank Hayes (John DiSanti) because Hayes’ dog Garth mated with Wilson’s prize-winning poodle Simone, which is detrimental to his breeding business because Simone won’t breed with any other dogs now. The judge takes the dogs for to be checked out, and finds Wilson guilty. After the case, Wilson tells Dan that he is gay and finds Dan attractive. Dan is aghast at the suggestion that he is gay and is so amused that he tells everyone. Art announces that the streets have been closed down and they are stranded in the building, and it becomes even more dire when they realize there is no food in the building. One large man (Dennis Burkley) is particularly angry at the prospect of not getting food. Dan goes down to the basement to look for blankets and winds up trapped with Wilson in the elevator when the power goes out. Slowly Dan begins to respect Wilson’s business, and feels bad when Wilson tells him that his partner of ten years had passed away. Wilson offers to share his coat with Dan and he takes him up on the offer. By the time that Art is able to rescue them from the elevator, they find Dan asleep in Warren’s arms, and Warren suggests that everyone find a camera. Bull tries to tunnel out through the snow, but the tunnel collapses on him, panicking everyone. Bull soon shows up with bags full of Twinkies for everyone. Mac is puzzled when the large man claims not to be hungry any longer, and he finds an empty suit of clothes on the bench next to him. A fireman (Michael Griswold) reports that thanks to Bull’s tunnel, he was able to get a snow plow up to the door and that everyone can leave. 10/11/20
• 024. Take My Wife, Please – 12/13/1984
  • Harry is getting headaches from reading due to eye strain, so he goes to get them checked by an optometrist. After having his pupils dilated, he returns to the courthouse virtually blind. Meanwhile Mac is trying to help a female friend named Quon Le Duc (Denice Kumagai), who was part of a family that his family had helped after Mac met them during the Vietnam war. He is trying to get paperwork squared away by midnight in order to keep her from getting deported by immigration. When time starts to get tight, Mac leaves court and goes down the hall to marry her to keep her there temporarily. Mac realizes that he was impulsive and tells her that they can get an annulment once her paperwork is processed. Unfortunately when he tells her, Quon Le feels dishonored and says she’s now going to starve herself. When Quon Le confesses that she always loved him, Mac says that he is willing to get to know her better and that maybe love will eventually come. Although they are officially married, he asks her out on a first date. A thief named Eugene Sleighbough (Michael Richards) thinks he’s invisible because he’s been ignored for so much of his life, and consequently tries to amaze and freak out everyone in the court by performing ‘invisible miracles’. He finally realizes that everyone can see him… but thinks that it is because he is wearing clothes. When they find him in the courtroom the next time, he is completely naked. 10/11/20
• 025. The Birthday Visitor – 1/3/1985
  • As Dan tries to recover from having a date cancel on him for an upcoming party at the Mayor’s house and is searching for a replacement, Harry casually announces that it is his birthday. Everyone decides to take him out, but the night is a bust when the waiter Donald (Stack Pierce) can only serve him a birthday pumpkin pie and then Bull brings everyone down by talking about homeless children who never get birthday parties. Dan asks a classy looking lady (Karen Powell) to be his date for the Mayor’s party, but she proves to be an airhead. Harry seems depressed, so Billie invites him to come to her place for hot cocoa. They almost kiss under her mistletoe, but they are interrupted by a bumbling burglar named Nick Wilson (Oliver Clark). He ties them up, and then discusses what a failure he is. Eventually he leaves them tied up, and they make their way as far of the couch, and when Billie winds up on top of Harry, they almost kiss again. They are again interrupted by Wilson, who returns because the elevator is stuck. Wilson briefly considers shooting himself, but they talk him out of it, and Harry promises to try and get him hospital help if the turns himself in. As a policeman (Michael Alaimo) is escorting him out, he mentions that it could be trouble if Harry and Billie start dating… and they agree. This time Harry takes down the mistletoe and leaves. The neighbor across the hall, Mr. Grinsky (Wil Albert), hands off his cat to Harry for his birthday. Dan then shows up to try and get Billie drunk and get her to agree to go to the Mayor’s party with him, but she tosses him out. Harry then has second thoughts and returns to Billie’s apartment, but since she thinks it is Dan, she tells him to get lost. 1/28/21
• 026. Dan’s Parents – 1/10/1985
  • Dan’s rustic and somewhat backward father “Daddy Bob” (John McIntire) and mother Mucette (Jeanette Nolan), who Dan had told everyone had died, show up to visit him from Paris, Louisiana. When he sees them, it is immediately clear that he is embarrassed by the folks, who are extremely proud of him. When Dan prosecutes a prostitute named Bambi (Kalassu), they applaud him from the gallery, embarrassing him further. Harry suggests that they all go out to eat together, and takes them to a fancy French restaurant, where the waiter Henri (Maurice Marsac) questions his bolo tie. Dan becomes further embarrassed when Judge Tallon (John C. Becher) stops by their table, and the Elmore’s guess that his date Marjorie is his granddaughter. Dan finally loses his composure, and tells them he wants them out of his life. Harry and the others are very disappointed in his behavior, and Harry calls him into his office and reads him the riot act. Dan says that he worked all of his life to get away from people like them, and thought his father was incredibly stupid for continuing to farm on land that never produced a crop. His parents overhear the conversation, and Daddy Bob agrees with Dan, and tells Harry that it was his pleasure to support Dan through law school, and that he is not owed anything in return. The Elmores leave and stop at the food counter for souvenirs, and continue to charm the others. Dan has a change of heart and asks them to stay so he can show them around town, announcing to everyone that these are his parents. He refers to his mother as ‘mama’ for the first time since she arrived, and embraces her. He recalls his father comforting him when his pet turtle Scruffy. His parents confess that they couldn’t afford a turtle, and that Scruffy was actually a potato, much to Dan’s disbelief. NOTE: Dan’s parents reveal that his middle name is actually Fielding, while his last name is Elmore. 1/29/20
• 027. Nuts About Harry – 1/17/1985
  • As Harry plays with his new sea monkeys, a new temporary Public Defender named Sue Harper (Deborah Harmon) arrives to defend a group of patients from the Morningdale Psychiatric Hospital, who have taken a cab to City Hall to complain about their living conditions, and then refused to pay the boisterous cab driver Elmore Watkins (Charles Bouvier). Among the patients are the tall, slow Wendell Martin (Kevin Peter Hall), Mr. Dowrkin (Raye Birk), a paranoid man afraid of aliens, Alan (James Cromwell), whose hand is his imaginary friend, and Ann (Kate Zentall), who hasn’t spoken a word in years. Their doctor Lawrence Osborne (George Pentecost) shows up to defend against their accusations. Harry doesn’t think they should be able to present their case because of their lack of competence and since it isn’t the appropriate forum. He drops the charges and remands them back to Osborne. They all escape before he can get them back to the hospital, and steal Dr. Osborne’s bag which contains a gun. An officer (Peter Iacangelo) and his men round everyone up except for Ann, who locks herself in a storage closet with a gun. Harry is able to talk to her and gets her to give herself up, by telling her that many items on their list of demands can be achieved. Sue threatens the doctor with a lawsuit, but he reminds them that if loses the business, then they’ll be out on the streets. Both sides agree to negotiate and he offers longer TV hours. Harry assures them, they might be able to reach a good number of their demands. As they leave, Ann writes Harry a note, but he isn’t able to decipher it. Later some of the patients come by to visit Dan with their new free time. As Harry laments the death of his sea monkeys, he gets a phone call from someone who tells him a funny joke, but never reveals who it is… but it is revealed to be Ann. 5/23/21
• 028. An Old Flame – 1/24/1985
  • Harry is planning to spend all night working on old files and bringing in a judge from another district. As he’s telling the group, Selma suddenly gets up and kisses an older man in the cafeteria. He turns out to be former boyfriend of Selma’s named Marty Ratner (Jack Gilford), whose wife Julia has died, and how last dated Selma 45 years ago. They two fall in love again, and Selma decides to move to Miami and live with him. Meanwhile, the replacement judge Arnold Koppelson (Phil Leeds) and charms everyone with his compliments. He efficiently blows through 84 cases in three hours, giving everyone an early two-hour dinner break. Dan begins sucking up to him, when Koppelson tells him that he deserves to be the District Attorney. However Mac finds out that Koppleson is not really a judge, but a clerk in the records division from the Brooklyn district. After spending 30 years at his desk, he had always wanted to be a judge, and now that retirement is upon him, he thought it was worth prison time in order to act as a judge. Although Dan is furious that he made a mockery of the court, Harry says he made great judgements in his case, would’ve been a great judge, and decides not to press charges. When Selma realizes that Marty doesn’t want Selma to work, bur rather stay home and take care of him in his retirement, she decides she isn’t the best choice for him, and the two break it off. Harry tries to cheer her up, but she maintains she doesn’t need cheering… as she has a date lined up that evening with a younger man named Brent (Daniel Greene). Brian Greene is the accordion player. 5/24/21
• 029. The Gypsy – 1/31/1985
  • Harry is inconsolable when the Mel Torme concert he has scheduled is postponed for a Royal performance. Dan just make a load in the stock market, and his accountant Cy Sanderson is about to represent Dan for an I.R.S. audit, but he think he has all of his ducks in a row. Meanwhile, Harry makes a ruling on a case whereby a man named Herb Gilpin (Bruce Kirby) is given a one night sentence in jail sentence for throwing a brick through a gypsy name Madame Loretta’s window (Erica Yohn), because she put the idea into his wife Norma’s head that she need to separate from him. Loretta thinks the sentence is too light, so she argues with Harry until he charges her with contempt of court, causing her to retaliate by putting a curse on the courtroom and all who are in it. Shortly after, Dan gets a call that his lawyer died while going over Dan’s tax exemptions, and the I.R.S. now claims they can’t find them. Harry asked Bull to take Loretta to a cell, but he faints and then becomes paralyzed. Dr. Fine comes to see him, and can’t find anything wrong with him, suggesting that it is all psychosomatic. He suggests that Harry make him believe that the curse is lifted. Harry sets up a magic performance in his chambers, whereby he causes a book of spells to catch fire, and then makes a model of the Empire State Building disappear in front of Bull and everyone else’s eyes. Harry tells him that this act caused the curse to be lifted, and sure enough Bull is now able to sand and walk. After he is up, Harry admits that he set up the whole illusion with Art Fensterman the building mechanic. However, Art then enters the chambers and apologizes for being late. Loretta take credit for helping out Harry, and before she leaves, she gives Harry a phone number that will ‘ease his troubled spirit’. When he calls it, he finds that it is Mel Torme‘s (providing his own voice) personal answering machine. Dan loses his entire fortune from the I.R.S. Hal Smith is the courtroom bum. 9/18/21
• 030. Battling Bailiff – 2/7/1985
  • As Dan tries to come up with ways to borrow money and rebuilt his fortune, Bull is working on a book of poetry in the cafeteria and agrees to let Harry read his poem Forever Damp. When Mac and Harry laugh uproariously about it, he tears it up and lets everyone know how much they hurt him by making fun of the poem that expresses his dissatisfaction with life. Meanwhile, Harry hears a case against an elderly woman named Doris McKenzie (Meg Wyllie), an overzealous wrestling fan who hit the Klondike Butcher (Lou Ferrigno) in the ring with a chair. When she starts hitting him again, Bull lifts up the Butcher to get him out of the way. When the fight promoter Jack Delman (Jack DeLeon aka Christopher Weeks) see this, he offers Bull a job wrestling for him, making up to $10,000 per night. Bull quits his job right on the spot, and begins training for his first match. It doesn’t take long before the courtroom is a disaster, and everyone is wanting him back, as the new Bailiff Dirk (Ron Ross) is squeamish and ineffective. Harry points out that they’re all thinking of themselves, while they should want Bull to succeed. When he comes to the courthouse to empty his locker, they all give him support… except for Selma, who thinks that his decision is ridiculous. On the night of his first match against the Choirboy, Selma boycotts seeing him, and Dan has bought a 20% interest in his career. But once Bull gets in the ring, he decides not to wrestle and returns to the locker, where he tells his friends that it wasn’t fulfilling. He tells Harry that he was waiting for someone to ask him to come back to his old job, and Harry explains he though he was just supporting his dreams. Bull asks that someone hit him on the head if he tries something crazy again. Later when Dan sees him reading a magazine about parachuting, he takes the opportunity to beat him with the magazine. Nicholas Worth is wrestler Ed. P.L. Brown is wrestler Alan. Richard Brose is the wrestler in green. Jimmy Lennon is the ring announcer. Professor Toru Tanaka is a background wrestler. 9/18/21
• 031. Billie’s Valentine – 2/14/1985
  • It’s Valentine’s Day, and Dan is having trouble getting a date because he is broke. On the other hand, Billie has become smitten with a wealthy PR man named David Towers (Geoffrey Scott) and their relationship appears to be taking off. He even sings are a giant talking heart messenger (Larry Gelman). Meanwhile, Bernie is trying to find out from Selma if he has any chance with her, so he gives her a midnight ultimatum to answer him, or else he vows to move on. Back in court, just after Harry sees an elderly couple Mr. (Patrick Crenshaw) and Mrs. Shelton (Eve Smith) who are arrested for disturbing the peace during one of their fights and are only staying together for the sake of their ‘children’, the next case comes in: the people vs. David Towers. He has been arrested for pickpocketing and is a known criminal, much to Billie’s dismay. She thinks the whole thing is either a joke or a dream, and Harry has to disqualify her from the case. She leaves the courtroom and disappears for a while. Harry becomes concerned, but soon she returns, telling Harry that she though about it and has decided to stick by him during his trial and sentence. She goes to see him at the jail to tell him, but he tells her that it will never work since he is a criminal and she is a lawyer. He breaks it off with her, and she leaves inconsolable, but not before the heart messenger is brought in after a fight, with a bad tear in his costume… a broken heart. Harry sees what a wreck she is, so he goes to berate David in his cell. However, he quickly realizes that David only broke it off to spare her the agony of waiting for him while he is in jail, which David assumes will be around four years. He also recognizes that Harry is in love with her also, and gives him four years to pursue her before he get out and returns to get her. Bernie stares at his clock all the way up until midnight, while his newsstand is completely robbed. When the clock strikes twelve, Selma is there to tell him ‘no’, she will never be interested in a future with him, so he gives her another six months to decide. Dan is suddenly in a good mood and invites Mac and Bull to dinner, after he receives a secret admirer Valentine… which was sent to him by Mac and Bull. 3/18/22
• 032. Married Alive – 2/21/1985
  • A man named Wilbur Poston (Elisha Cook Jr.) is brought in for assault after attacking a limousine driver named Mervyn Jenkins (Kenneth Danziger) after he hit and killed Poston’s horse Buttermilk. The driver’s employer’s daughter Patty Douglas (Mimi Kennedy) offers to resolve the case by offering Poston one of their personal horses instead, and Poston accepts. Dan finds out that Patty’s father (Stanley Brock) is a millionaire, and that Patty is heiress to his forty million dollar estate. Dan then tries to woo her, but she is extremely awkward and socially inept. Nevertheless, he asks her to marry him. Harry, Bull, and Mac take him out for a bachelor party dinner and Bull brings in unappealing belly dancer Phyllis (Micole Mercurio). During her performance, Patty’s father shows up along with his muscle Biff (Patrick Wright) and warns Dan not to marry her, even offering him $50,000 to call it off. Dan is tempted by the money, but he refuses and asks her father to leave. All of his friends at work think that he is just waiting for the bigger 40 million dollar payoff, but he confesses that although that was his original motive, he has really fallen for her, and feels like he can tell her anything and be himself when he’s with her. Everyone feels terrible for believing the worst. When Dan sees Patty later, she tells him that her father told her that if she doesn’t stop seeing Dan, he will cut her off from the money. Although this doesn’t deter Dan, Patty feels she cannot get along without the money, and she calls off the wedding. Dan is crushed, but it doesn’t take long until one of his bimbos, Angela (Angela Aames) shows up to see him and have him take her out, and he agrees… even though the loss of Patty truly has him somewhat broken up. William Utay plays courtroom bum Phil Sanders for the first time. Rocco Di Nobile is the waiter. 3/18/22
• 033. Mac and Quon Le: Together Again – 2/28/1985
  • Billie and Dan are both late to court one evening because they are at the Mayor’s office applying for a job on the Mayor’s new commission on crime and youthful offenders. It turns out that it has come down to Dan, Billie, and one additional guy from the Bronx. Once they arrive, they hear a case against several prostitutes who have Mac’s legal wife Quon Le with them. She claims she was only staying with them after a fire in her apartment caused by her microwave drove her out. She also tells Mac that she’s now in debt for $18,000. Although Mac feels horrible, he tells her that she can’t stay with him, and she accepts that. However, his conscience gets the better of him and he goes to find her, only to find that she is still waiting in the courthouse. She admits that she still loves him and missed him, and he says he missed her too. He believes that her staying with him might be complicated since so many people might have a problem with their mixed races. She asks if it would bother him, and he admits it would not because he loves her. At least he fully agrees that they can try living as man and wife, but says he needs eggs for breakfast every morning, but she tells him she doesn’t cook. Meanwhile, both Dan and Billie are looking for a recommendation from Harry, but both agree that he can only endorse one of them for the job. After thinking about it, he chooses to give Dan the letter. Billie is horrified that he chose her over someone who is so reprehensible and lacking morals. Harry tells her that it is because Dan is a great lawyer and has a lot more experience then her. She is so angry that she tells him that she is going to put in a transfer. Even Bull takes Billie’s side, and tells him that he is dense for not seeing how much she craves his approval. To try and make up for it, Harry writes Billie an open recommendation telling how great of a person she is, causing her to forgive him and tell him that she never put in for the transfer. Dan winds up not getting the job, as it goes to a priest (David Dunard) instead. Loyita Chapel is prostitute Tawny LaBelle. Israel Juarbe is one of the teens who carries Dan into the courtroom. 7/20/22 
• 034. World War III – 5/2/1985
  • Yakov Korolenko stops by the courthouse for a visit with his brother Ivan (John Lykes), and a KGB agent (Richard Brestoff) who is following them to ensure that Ivan doesn’t defect to America. Harry tells them that unfortunately he is unable to grand asylum, but Mac gives him the phone number of an immigration officer. It isn’t long before all of them show up in court again, along with another group of folks who were involved with an incident at a Cultural Exchange Society performance of members of the Leningrad Circus – including Ivan – when Yakov drops from a skylight on a rope to try and grab his brother. The KGB agent tracks them to a courtroom and kicks down the door, at which point a man named Bob Smith (Matt Landers), who claims to be a tent salesman, jumps them. The KGB agent claims that Smith is actually with the CIA. Also along is a clown and the giant female juggler named Elsa Dubrinovitch (Faith Minton), who can’t keep her hands off of Dan and chases him all over the building. And finally, arms dealers from the United States, Martin Glasscock (Gordon Jump) and Russia, Nikolai Karpov (Leonard Stone), who were at the circus as guests and got into fight with a tray of deviled eggs during arms negotiations. Harry tries to figure out what to do with everyone as he tries to reach the Russian embassy. Bull is put in charge of watching Yalkov and Ivan, but Bull announces that Ivan has gone missing. Yakov fears the KGB got him, but it turns out that Bull is actually hiding him in the cell with a group of female prostitutes. Harry forces Bull to bring them down to see him, and he and Yakov embrace. Ivan decides he doesn’t want to defect after all as he fears he will miss his home too much. This makes Yakov homesick as well, as he misses his wife Sonya. Harry is able to negotiate with the embassy to allow Yakov’s wife and children to come to America, and they will send Ivan back to Russia. Glasscock and Karpov spend half the night negotiating nuclear disarmament after the realize they have common ground being family men. The come up with a plan to have all major nuclear warheads removed by 1997… then they realize neither country will be on board so they toss the plan into the garbage. Yakov tells Harry what a great man he is, as Dan is chased by Elsa through the courtroom and into the hall where Dan yells out a pitiable scream. Lana Schwab is the woman in the cell. NOTE: This is the last appearance of Selma Diamond before her passing. 7/20/22
• 035. Walk, Don’t Wheel – 5/9/1985
  • Harry has struck up a friendship with a 21-year-old legal researcher named Kristin (Barbara C. Adside) who is missing her legs and is in a wheelchair. He and she regularly have races throughout the building. Harry loses a race again when he gets his robe caught on a drinking fountain, which starts a rumor that a pervert is running loose in the building. Harry has gotten an invitation to speak at the mayor’s party, and Dan is beside himself trying to get Harry to take him. Meanwhile, a squeaky-clean family of four, Tom (William Frankfather), Sally (Annett Kurek), Brian (Andrew Gower), and Jenny Reader (Amy O’Neill), are brought into court charged with assault of the Go Yankees motel manager Lonnie “Blacky” Buzzlick (Eddie Barth). They hadn’t realized the motel was an adult motel and consequently destroyed their room and threw the contents at Blacky. Out of money, they have no way to get back home to Ohio, so Bull tries to take up a collection for them. Dan gets so sick of seeing them that he gives them his credit card so they will leave. Kristin invites Harry to go to her pre-law graduation prom with her, but he has to decline since it is the same night as the Mayor’s party. She is more upset than she lets on and throws a fit in front of Billie, who then yells at Harry for declining her invitation. Harry goes to talk to her and hands his invitation over to Dan so he can go with her. Kristin then yells at him for feeling sorry for her. Harry is tired of getting yelled at, so he tells her that he wouldn’t want to go with her now even if he was available. He takes the invitation back from a very disappointed Dan. She later comes to see him and apologize, but Harry won’t accept it, unless she promises to start taking people at their face value. She explains how so many people have lied to her and blown her off because of her handicap. This time Harry sets the invitation on fire and slips it under the door of his chambers for the scrambling Dan to save. Kristin shows up for the date and surprise everyone when she walks in. She tells everyone that she’s had them for a while, and Harry deduces that she doesn’t wear them because she wants to ensure that people like her for who she is. Dan offers to drop them off in his limo on the way to the party. When he bends over to pick up his money clip, his pants rip. Mac then enters the room to show him that he had merely ripped a piece of paper in half. Dan is relieved, but then it is revealed that his pants really did rip. Marianne Muellerleile is the screaming woman. NOTE: This is the last appearance of Ellen Foley. 11/14/22

SEASON 3

• 036. Hello, Goodbye – 9/26/1985
  • Selma has passed away, and Harry is interviewing for a permanent replacement. A wimpy drip named Dirk (Ron Ross) has been filling in as a temporary, and everyone is tired of him. Harry interviews a gorgeous actress named Miss Corland (Lana Clarkson), and Dan is obviously rooting for her. In addition, Billie has left the court and a new permanent defense attorney has been assigned to the court: Christine Sullivan who has been in the court previously on an interim basis. They both recall having some issues with each other before, and this time Harry won’t let her finish a sentence in her court case defending Roberta (Cynthia Steele) the prostitute. When Bull doesn’t show up to work, and Mac finds out that his landlord said he didn’t come home the night before, Harry starts to get worried about him. Eventually, Bull does show up, drunk as a skunk with a circus troupe in tow. Everyone brings him back to Harry’s chambers, and Bull admits that the reason he got drunk is because he is depressed about Selma’s passing, causing him to question the meaning of life. Harry asks Dan to watch Bull while he and Christine go out to get coffee and sandwiches for everyone, but Bull ties up Dan and heads to the rooftop. Christine wants to get involved and talk to him, but Harry insists that she butt out. She winds up going by Harry’s back and follows Bull onto the roof. A scream is heard, and something is seen falling off the roof, but it turns out to be Bull’s cape, which causes Christine to faint. Bull carries her down, and then he slowly begins to sober up while trying get Harry to explain the meaning of life. Harry has no answers but offers the fact that they should hold onto each other as long as he can. While they are hugging, a crotchety old lady named Florence Kleiner (Florence Halop) wanders in applying for the bailiff’s job. Even though she missed the interview and has no references, Bull wants to keep her so Harry agrees to hire her. Bull shows her around, and then just parks himself in the courtroom with his hangover. Florence screams at him and tells him he deserves the headache, to which Bull thanks her because Selma had also cared enough to yell at him. At the end of the night, Harry invites Christine to get some food with him, but she is already planning to go to the party that Dirk’s family is throwing for him since they were sure he’d get the job. Jerry Maren appears as the circus ringmaster. 11/14/22
• 037.  The Hostage – 10/3/1985
  • Dan introduces himself to Sheila (Leslie Bevis), a new girl in the Records department and asks her out on a date. She gets Dan to admit that he is only interested in sex, and she says that honest, spineless men are what she’s looking for. She invites him to meet her at her place at midnight. Meanwhile. Harry hears a case with a guy named Mr. Slotkin (Kenneth Tigar) who has robbed an electronics store. Slotkin claims that he is from Saturn and only robbed the store in order to build a device to communicate to his home planet. Harry sentences him to a psychiatric facility. The next case is against a group of elderly folks led by one man (Ralph Manza) who attacked a French tourist on a subway when he attempted to talk to them due to their paranoia about violent subway. The elderly folks have a large stash of weapons, and as the judge is admonishing them, Mr. Slotkin re-enters the room and grabs one of the guns, demanding chemicals for sustenance and healing. Emergency Services agents led by Commander Tucker (Lyman Ward) become involved since Slotkin is holding Dan hostage. Harry suggests that they drug Slotkin’s food, but it is Dan who actually eats the hamburger, and becomes incapacitated himself. Harry suggests to Slotkin that he has invented his Saturn utopia because he has trouble coping with the evils of the real world. Slotkin works on his transmitter, but winds up electrocuting himself as he tries to reach his home planet. Slotkin wakes up and claims that the blown fuse was actually his people effecting an energy transmission which has restored Slotkin’s health back to normal. Dan, in his drugged state, is able to retrieve the gun. A paramedic (Nat Bernstein) comes to retrieve Slotkin by posing as a representative of Earth’s government and offers to take him on a tour of one of our medical facilities. Sheila shows up to see what is keeping Dan, and he is able to rouse himself to action and crawl out of the courtroom. The next day, Dan admits to Mac that he has no memory of his night with Sheila. She also shows up and tells Dan that the night was wonderful, so Dan asks her to meet again that night. Sheila suggests that nothing will ever top their night together, so there is no point in trying. The only thing Dan can remember is a catcher’s mitt. Tessa Richarde and Joy Garrett are the courtroom hookers. 4/19/2023
• 038. Dad’s First Date – 10/17/1985
  • Christine is excited when her father Jack Sullivan (Eugene Roche) shows up at the courthouse to visit with her, and even more excited to learn that after eight years of being alone of her mother passed away, he finally has a date with a lady named Marjorie (Brianne Leary). Christine is a little taken aback when she realizes she is only around 30 years, but nevertheless encourages and supports him going out. Meanwhile, Harry hears a case from a group of naturalists/nudists who live in a clothes-optional apartment complex. The group is arrested while nude sunbathing on their rooftop in view of other buildings and a police helicopter. Harry finds them guilty but suspends their find. Led by Mr. Lawler (Jay Gerber), the group then arranges a protest sit-in in the nude in Harry’s office. Dan is especially titillated by one of the young nudists named Angela (Angela Aames). Harry also hears a case with a prostitute named “Easy Mary” Jankowitz (Estelle Harris) and the guy who solicited her…Christine’s father. Harry disqualifies Christine from the case, and when Jack won’t discuss the case with Christine, she begins to yell at him until Harry continues the case and puts Jack in the holding cell. While Harry and Dan get a kick out of spending time with Angela and the nudists, Chrstine tries to get answers from her father, but he continues to be stubborn about it. Harry finally brings Jack back into the courtroom to speak privately with Christine. Marjorie also shows and demands to know why Jack left her in the middle of dinner. He admits that he heard some clinking glasses that reminded him of the safe, warm feelings he had with his late wife Linda. He realized at that moment he wasn’t ready to date again quite yet. Marjorie is touched by his honesty and tells her to look her up when he’s ready again. He then tells Chrstine that after he left, he wandered around and wound up in a diner, where he ran into Mary, an old classmate. Harry finally convinces all of the nudists to go home, but Mr. Lawler is the final holdout… mostly because he wants to finish watching a movie in Harry’s office. Charles Fleischer is the man in the holding cell. Jack Kutcher is the hobo in the gallery.  4/20/23
• 039. Mac and Quon Le: No Reservations – 10/24/1985
  • After their honeymoon, Quon Le has become prone to spending excessively, so Mac insists that everything except one item be returned. The items she chooses to keep is an old run-down restaurant that they plan to restore and run. Mac is counting on financial help from his grandfather (Charles Lampkin), a wealthy importer/exporter who Dan worships for his money. However, it becomes obvious that Mac doesn’t want his grandfather to meet Quon Le, and he sends her out of the room when his grandfather arrives. He is able to convince the real estate agent Howie (Frank Bonner) to go from $80,000 to $20,000 through tough negotiating. As Grandpa Robinson is writing the check, Mac introduces Quon Le to him. He reacts badly and tells Mac that he is no longer his relative, then rips up the check. Mac has trouble keeping his mind on his work and confesses to Harry how much his grandfather has meant to him, and the fact that historically, he is never wrong. Although Harry tries to stay out of family business, ultimately, he issues a bench warrant for Grandpa to be arrested and brought into court. Harry also has Quon Le come into court, and then leaves them both in his chambers. Mac is incredulous that Harry had his grandfather arrested, and Dan and Christine warn him that this could easily end his career. Grandfather is furious and starts to call his lawyer, when Quon Le threatens to jump out of the window since she has disgraced her husband and caused a family rift. When he stops her from jumping, she goes on to tell him how Mac used to take care of her family in Vietnam during the war, and how she came to America and made him fall in love with her. Grandpa can clearly see how great of a person she is, so by the time everyone checks on them, Quon Le is walking on his back with her healing feet. Grandpa not only gives Mac his blessing on their marriage but apologizes for being wrong about his demands. Meanwhile, Dan argues with shoe-shine boy Leon (Bumper Robinson) over gambling debts. When Leon’s threat to sick his ‘godfather’ (Anthony R. Charnota) on him falls on deaf ears, Leon mixes battery acid in the shoe polish he uses on Dan’s shoes. Mark Bringelson is the donut thief defendant. 9/5/23
• 040. Halloween Too – 10/31/1985
  • As Harry is ordering pranks from Ike’s Novelty Company via phone and making plans for his annual Halloween party, a woman named Kimberly Daniels (Mary-Margaret Humes) wanders into his office looking for traffic court. Harry is immediately smitten by her and asks her out. Thus begins a whirlwind romance that lasts several weeks, to the point that everyone is getting sick of their flagrant affection. Meanwhile, a reporter named Hank Mire (George Murdock) from The Globe starts snooping around the courthouse looking for sensational stories. Harry gets the shock of a lifetime when two women are brought before him for setting a bonfire and dancing around in Central Park. Once of the women is named Edna Sneer (Anne Ramsey) and the other one is Kim. When Harry thinks it is just a joke, Kim admits that she is a witch. Harry tries to give her every opportunity to explain this, but she simply says that she is a witch and is unable to change that. The ladies are put in a holding cell, and Harry puts a paper bag over her head and takes her to his office to avoid the snooping Hank Mire. Christine warns Harry that he could be disrobed if the press learns that a city circuit judge is dating a witch. Although he tries to convince Kim to leave the witch life behind, she tells Harry that she has to be who she is, just as Harry does. The lovers have no choice but to call it quits. Kim tells Mire that she is a childhood friend of Harry’s and has merely sought legal advice from him… but now the visit is over. Meanwhile, Dan is desperate to find a costume for Harry’s party, after Harry warns him not to come as a conservative member of the ‘Moral Majority.’ He winds up coming a Humpty Dumpty, while Florence comes as a biker, Bull comes as a giant bear, Christine comes as a witch, and Quon Le is a spider while Mac is Little Miss Muffet. Harry comes as Mel Torme singing Jeepers Creepers. Mario Roccuzzo is Mario Eisenhower, delivery man for Ike’s. Beatrice Colen is the woman in the holding cell. 9/5/23
• 041. Best of Friends – 11/7/1985
  • Dan announces that his old friend Chip Collins (Jim Bailey), an athlete and skirt changer who Dan considers his best friend in college. Chip is getting married and wants Dan to be in the wedding. However, when Chip arrives, Dan is astounded to find that Chip has undergone a sex change operation and is now going by the name Charlene. After passing out and swallowing his tongue, Dan wakes up furious at Chip, as he feels like the sex change is a betrayal of their friendship. Bull can’t understand the concept of a sex-change, so his friends all try to explain it to him. Dan really lays into Charlene, and they wind up in a minor fistfight leading Charlene knocking Dan out and laying him out in the salad bar. Dan finally makes it into court, where he attacks a flasher named McIntire (Kenneth J. Scherr) for being so deviant. Harry tells Dan he understands why he is angry and feel betrayed since Charlene could have gone on with her life without involving Dan. Charlene then returns with her fiancé Larry (John Braden), and Harry takes Larry to courtroom so that Dan and Charlene can talk. Dan feels that Chip had lied to him all through their friendship, but Charlene tries to explain that he didn’t know himself either. They talk about a time when Chip cried to Dan because a girl had broken up with him and admits that he was starting to know that he was a woman in a man’s body at that time but didn’t tell him. Dan is able to reminisce about some of their old times together and ultimately agrees to come to their wedding. As they are leaving, Dan warns Larry to be gentle with Charlene. Everyone tries to break through to Bull to make him understand the sex-change operation, but it isn’t until Harry explains it with a paper doll that he finally gets it. 12/26/23
• 042. Dan’s Boss – 11/14/1995
  • When Bernie tries to ask out Florence, she immediately jumps at the chance for a date. She leads him to believe that it will be ultra-spicy to the point that he requests that they get to know each other better before starting on the physical level. She even insists that he fill out a health screening before their date, and then sends him a box of whips. Meanwhile, the new District Attorney Vincent Daniels (Daniel Frishman) comes to meet Dan at the courthouse. When Dan sees that he is a little person, he insults him before learning that he is Dan’s new boss. Daniels comes to see Dan prosecute a case, and when he sees Dan insulting a man named Arnold Preminger (Robert Englund), who believes that aliens taking jobs are the same as space aliens, Daniels jumps in and tells Dan that his conduct is inappropriate. Daniels insists that Dan clean up his act, but Dan won’t even let up on the insults directed at Daniels himself, much less anyone else. After Dan lifts Daniels up and puts him on a table so that they can see ‘eye to eye’, Daniels fires Dan. Harry tells Dan that he is ashamed of his prejudiced behavior and can’t believe how insensitive and rude Dan was behaving. When Daniels stops by Harry’s office to tell him that another Assistant District Attorney will be arriving that day, Harry tells Daniels that even though Dan has been grossly misbehaving and that Harry has no respect for his actions, he believes there is something worth redeeming inside Dan and asks Daniels to reconsider. Daniels tells Dan that he will let him keep his job if Dan apologizes. Dan cannot bring himself to do so, so Harry tells him goodbye. Daniels says he understands how Dan feels since he has been humiliated by him, and then relates how his father left the family because he thought that Daniels condition was a punishment to him from God. His father was ashamed of him, but his mother finally convinced him that his father didn’t see inadequacies in Vincent as much as he saw them in himself. Dan finally breaks down and apologizes for everything he said. Daniels allows Dan to keep his job because he thinks Dan is sincere, he is good at his job, and he will enjoy torturing him as his new boss. He is later seen forcing Dan to carry his books, toss his salad, clean his car, and pick up his dry cleaning in addition to his normal duties. He also tortures Dan by setting up height jokes that Dan can never respond to. When Florence tells Bernie that she wants to shack up with him, Bernie tells her that they are moving at different speeds, and he thinks he should call off getting together with her until Florence has sowed her wild oats… like her membership in the motorcycle gang. Florence then later reveals that she and Bull had set up the entire series of lies, since Bernie had always pestered Selma so much. She pre-empted this by coming on so strong with him and driving them away. Bull says he was particularly amused by her motorcycle gang story, but it turns out that this was true, proven by a biker (Ritch Brinkley) showing up to pick Selma up. 12/26/23

SEASON 4

• 072. A Day in the Life – 2/5/1987
  • The court must adjudicate 200 cases by midnight, or they will be dismissed. Harry sees it as a personal challenge and Dan wants to get them done so he can have a final date with Sheila before she leaves for L.A. that night. Among the cases they see are a John Doe (Raymond Singer) who refuses to talk and ends up being a Monk taking a vow of silence, book burners who Harry despises until he finds out they are burning The Greatness of Barry Manilow, the elderly Mrs. Smith (Jeanette Nolan) who is running a prostitution ring in her nursing home under the nose of its owner Mr. Reynolds (Norman Bartold), a magician named Mr. Shea (Mark Blankfield) who is trying to perfect the ultimate trick and ends up disappearing into thin air, Mr. Grossman (Gary Grossman) who tries to kill himself in a laundromat dryer because he is too short and ends up shrinking himself even more, a flasher, two men (Phil Leeds, Raye Birk) both claiming to be God, a trespasser (Jim Doughan) who pleads literally, Ted (Fred Applegate) and Sue Boswell (Alix Elias) who are a TV ratings family ultimately bailed out by NBC executive Brandon Tartikoff (himself),  and as the deadline nears, Mr. Tuttle (John Dullaghan) the slowest talker in the world who threatens to derail their goal. Dan speed reads the charges to the final man just under the wire, but by that time Sheila has lost interest and Dan and prefers a man who can take his time… Mr. Tuttle. Dan then goes off with Mrs. Smith. Dannel Arnold is the food delivery guy. 2/3/17

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