SEASON 1
Created by Abby McEnany and Tim Mason
Theme music by Ethan Stoller
- 001. 180 Almonds – 12/8/2019
- Abby McEnaney (herself) is a 45-year-old self-described ‘fat, queer dyke’ living in Chicago and struggling with depression and self-loathing. She sits down with a therapist named Dr. Franklin (Nancy McCabe-Kelly) and tells her that she plans to kill herself in 180 days if things don’t improve. She is counting out the days by laying out the same number of almonds and throwing one away every day. As she tells Dr. Franklin her thoughts, she realizes that Dr. Franklin has died in her chair. Abby has lunch with her sister Alison (Karin Anglin) and tells her what happened. When the waitress Chris (Theo Germaine) flirts with Ali, who is straight with kids, Abby expresses that she thinks that the waitress is gorgeous, Ali encourages her to ask her out. After they leave the restaurant, Ali returns and gives Chris Abby’s number. Later, while Abby is playing charades with her group of friends, Chris calls for Abby and asks her out. When Abby mentions that she is an attractive woman, Chris clarifies that he is a transgender man. Abby and Chris meet at a restaurant, where Abby spots actress Julia Sweeney (herself). Abby tells Chris that her Saturday Night Live characters Pat ruined her life, as people often referred to Abby as Pat, whose character’s sex was ambiguous. Chris, who is 22 and is not familiar with Pat, encourages her to tell Julia about how she ruined her life. Chris decides to talk to Julia herself, but when Julia comes over to meet her, Abby faints on the floor. Flashing back to September 1995, Abby attends the house party of her girlfriend, Alexis (E.R. Fightmaster), and when she walks in, a guy named Chad (Matthew Quattrocki), the boyfriend of Alexis’s roommate Charlotte (Maggie Scrantom), calls her Pat. She confronts him, and upon meeting Charlotte, tells her what her boyfriend said, leading to a big fight between her and Chad. As Abby starts making out with Alexis, she wakes up in the present with Chris and Julia looking over her. Once she is up, Julia joins Abby and Chris for drinks, and Julia apologizes for the pain she experienced due to Pat, and Abby and Julia both do impressions of the character as Chris looks on in puzzlement. Julia gives Abby her number and offers to make her dinner, also saying that she has a good feeling about Abby and Chris. After walking back to Abby’s apartment, Chris invites himself up to her room, so she takes five minutes to clean up the apartment before letting him up. As Abby prattles on, Chris eats one of Abby’s almonds and then kisses Abby. She tells Chris that he ate one of the days of her life, and the proceeds to explain the story of the almonds. Celeste Pechous is Abby’s best friend Campbell. Alex Moss is Brad, the guy at the entrance to the party. Other Charades friends are Georgia (Alison Gates), Shauna (Shauna Marino), Chandler (Chandler Marino), Nancy (Nancy L. Coleman), Renee (Renee Lehocky), Ann (Anne Lehocky). 5/24/26
- 002. 176, 172, 171 – 12/15/2009
- Abby wakes up in bed next to Chris after a night of talking, and Abby thanks him for not dying. After Chris catches an Uber home, Abby writes in her journal. Abby then attends her nephew Matty’s (Kenny Rasmussen) soccer game, where she has to explain the sex of Chris’s sex to her brother-in-law Mike (Gerard Neugent) and how her date went to her niece Megan (Lauren Viteri). She continues to throw an almond away every day. Later, she also has to answer questions from Campbell about whether she is still a lesbian, as she drives Abby to the funeral of Dr. Franklin. After the minister (Delia Kropp) finishes the service, Abby talks to a large photo of Dr. Franklin and catches her up on her dating life, only to find that there is a line of people, starting with a guy (Ben Kobold) carrying his cat. When Abby arrives to her cubicle at work, her boss Susan (Mary Sohn) questions whose funeral she attended. When she gets home, Abby moves her almonds from a table to the cookie jar. Abby visits a weight loss clinic, where the receptionist Miriam (Kate James) weighs her and tells her that she’s gained 17 pounds, before she attends a seminar from a motivator named Judy (Malkia Stampley). Chris invites her to go out, and they wind up at a progressive queer bar, where she meets Chris’s trans friends Kai (William Rusan), Lark (Parker Guidry), and King (Armand Fields). Chris introduces to Al (Eli Sulkowski), who just got his driver’s license with his new name on it. Abby recognizes the place she is at but can’t recall what it used to be. The bartender (Osiris Khepera) reminds her that it was once a lesbian bar. She suddenly recalls being there in 1997 when it was a more traditional lesbian bar with a Melissa Etheridge cover band (Xoe Wise, Sami Grisafe). Abby sees other girls making out and then tells Campbell that she sees a black woman staring at her. She meets the woman named Melanie (Echaka Agba) and winds up making out with her in the alley, which she contrasts with making out with Chris in the present. After they leave the bar, Chris and Abby make out on the bus on the way home. Abby admits that she was kind of scared of all of the young people. Chris tells Abby that the one thing that is off-limits with him is his birth name. Abby gets home and calls Chris to tell him that she remembered that the name of the bar was once The Watering Hole. It is revealed that she had found this information in one of her old journals, of which she has an entire hidden closet full. Johnny Lee Davenport is Harold, the peanut butter addict. The ladies at the Watering Hole are Martha (Katie Klein) and Donna (Tania Richard) Willy LaQueue is Abby Jr. Meg Leary is the backroom performer. Coco Diaz is the woman at the scale. The femme fatales are Iridessence/Jezebelly and Carina Shero. The vaudettes are Nicole Bowles, Amee Binder, Heather Sanders, Dalton Edward Burr, Shaul Guerrero, and Lorca Jolene. 5/24/26
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