The Terrible Catsafterme

Brad's Musings and Meanderings

random acts of quoting

"I've had an interesting morning. In the last two hours I've lost my job, my apartment, my car, and my girlfriend." - John Winger, "Stripes"

jr24.jpgThe storms that hit the area the night before while we were staying at the condom-laced Motel Six in McKinney, Texas just outside Dallas brought the cold weather back to the area on the morning of Friday, April 4, 2008, our last full day of the trip. This meant that it also brought back my ugly orange sweatshirt which I had only brought along to use in Dayton, but was now donning for the second time of the week. I had no choice, it was downright cold that morning! After leaving our motel, Bob stopped for a Krispy Kreme and I foolishly declined a donut.

Our first stop of the day was the Southfork Ranch in Parker, Texas – also located near Dallas and not far from where we had stayed. This ranch is best known – in fact it is probably the only thing it is known for – as the house and ranch that was used on all exterior shots of the ranch on the hit TV series Dallas. Although I was never a huge fan of the show, the “Who Shot J.R.” dilemma gripped me as much as the next fool in 1980.

Although only exterior shots were filmed here for the TV series (including the famous barbecues by the pool and the dead corpses floating in it), the interior was used extensivley in the 2004 made-for-TV Dallas Reunion: Return to Southfork. We started with a tour of the the small museum (where the top photo was taken) that housed some Dallas paraphenalia (which included the gun that shot J.R.) before heading out for the South Fork mansion. After taking a tram about fifty yards from the visitor center to the mansion, we were plopped down on the living room couches where the actors had sat during the reunion and were given a background of the house by our tour guide. Then we were allowed to roam free throughout the house, taking all of the pictures that we wanted (including one over the velvet rope in which I climbed inside the bathtub, which unfortunately didn’t turn out). I enjoyed the tour and it made me want to seek out DVDs of the show.

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 A chilly day at the Southfork Ranch

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 In the Dallas museum, with the prop gun used to shoot J.R.

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 Bobby and J.R. (aka Bradley and B.S.)

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 J.R.’s bar – utilized on the reunion show

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 The South Fork living room

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 J.R. threw Sue Ellen’s lover Nicholas Pierce over this railing

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 The actual kitchen from where those barbecue treats originated on Dallas

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 The pool where Kristen’s body was found

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 Yeah, I guess I could live here

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Goodbye South Fork!

We stopped at the souvenir and western shop Lincolns and Longhorns on the property where Bob bought a cowboy hat, while I just wasted time trying them on and taking pictures of myself (for $1.00 I’ll send you one of them). Also housed in the store was the original 1978 Lincoln Continental Mark V that was driven by Jock Ewing on the show. We were going to try and eat at the deli on the premisis but it wasn’t open yet. The hunger began swirling within me at that point.

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The Ewing Lincoln in the foreground and the hats I tried on in the background.

From there we headed further into the city of Dallas to the Sparkman Hillcrest Memorial Park to do some grave huntin’. We found the Greer Garson grave on our own an then a very helpful employee named Audrey personally took the time to guide us to two other graves for which we were searching: Judge Sarah Hughes and Mickey Mantle. She also directed us to the grave of cosmetics mogul Mary Kay Ash and informed us that Tom Landry, whose grave we had thought we had seen in Austin, was in fact buried here.

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 Academy Award winning actress from Mrs. Miniver, Greer Garson Fogelson

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 Judge Sarah T. Hughes swore in LBJ on Air Force One after the death of President Kennedy, the only woman to ever swear in a President

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 With baseball legend Mickey Mantle

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 Puckering up for Mary Kay

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The real Landry grave – and appropriate pose

Although we had briefly searched for the Texas Theatre on the previous Saturday upon my arrival in Dallas, we ran short of time, so after Sparkman Hillcrest we doubled our efforts and scouted it again. This was the theater in which Lee Harvey Oswald was arrested for the shooting of President Kennedy as the film War Is Hell played before him. Still a functioning theater, it has just recently began seeing restorations to bring it back to its former glory as it appeared at the time of the historic arrest.

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The Texas Theatre where Oswald was arrested

We then went over to Parkland Memorial Hospital where JFK was rushed after the fatal shooting in Dealey Plaza. Although the hospital has certainly undergone extensive remodels, we were finally (after asking the right people) able to locate a tribute to JFK. More details may be seen in my JFK posting found here.

Boy this was turning into a morbid day! And it didn’t get any better. From Parkland, we went on for some more grave huntin’ at the Western Heights Cemetery and the Crown Hill Memorial Park where we located the graves of infamous bad people Bonnie and Clyde. It was most difficult to find Clyde as his headstone had been stolen for the umpteenth time. We met a nice couple who were also weird like us and they told exactly where to find Bonnie – so that one was a cinch.

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 Clyde Barrow’s monument is often stolen as a fraternity prank – so it took a while to find this marker

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Bonnie couldn’t even be buried near her man. Let’s have a pity party.

During the graves, hospitals, and arrest sites, I was getting hungrier by the minute, so I made Bob stop by Burger King so I could fill up before we went out to eat that night. He wasn’t happy about it especially since he was treating me to a nice meal, but I promised him I would eat every bite on my plate and brush my teeth before bed. Not getting to a restaurant wasn’t entirely Bob’s fault as our guide Judy Garmin kept taking us back and forth past the same building and through the same toll booths.

But before dinner there was one more stop to make: the Shearith Israel Cemetery. And I’ll be a monkey’s uncle if against all odds we didn’t locate the grave of one Hymie Lichenstein, better known as Harry Monty, one of the flying monkeys in The Wizard of Oz. And this would not be the last munchkin we would see before the day was finished -and the ones we saw after Hymie…er Harry…were still alive. I’m serious.

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The other monkey with the other monkey

Finally 6:00 rolled around and the Dallas Lawry’s opened its doors. I wasn’t exactly famished after the Burger King a couple of hours ago, but I certainly had room for some prime rib to cap off the rodeo cheeseburger. No, seriously…it was a very nice dinner and I enjoyed the gourmet meat that was removed from the slab right before our eyes. There was a rather large bone in my portion though, so Bob graciously upgraded my meal to a larger cut so that I could garner the full enjoyment out of it. It was scrumptious indeed. Bob even took the extra bone home for his neighbor’s dog (ask him what airport security thought of that!)

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 Lawry’s at last!

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 Me and the chef. Hey, isn’t he on Desperate Housewives?

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 My hunk of meat

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A toast as we neared the end of our wonderful trip

The trip wasn’t quite over yet.

To be concluded

2 Responses to “Friday in Texas: From “Dallas” to Dallas”

  1. Glad you finally got to a Lawry’s, this is about the fourth time we tried to go to one either in Beverly Hills, or Vegas. And Buddy the dog was thrilled with his bone too.

    Bob

  2. Thanks, Brad! My dad and I are headed to Texas next month, and I didn’t know Sarah Hughes was buried in Dallas too! Got to grab her, because we’re already going to that cemetery to see Tom Landry, Mickey Mantle, and Lamar Hunt.

    Kurt

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