Young Harold Murphy as a tot

Early portrait of a young Harold and Loretta

One of the common things you would hear family members say about my Grandpa was that ’his bark was worse than his bite.’ That is because Grandpa in his younger years had quite a loud, booming voice – which went hand in hand with what I would cause as a pleasantly grumpy demeanor. I caught on to this at a young age, and knowing that the ‘bite’ was non-existant, I’d often elicit short-fuse reactions by doing or saying dumb things. Then I’d sit back and giggle when I could get Grandpa to yell.

Grandma and Grandpa Murphy’s wedding photo, September 13, 1943

Sometimes family members would get upset when they heard Grandpa snap at our beloved and timid Grandma Murphy. But even this seemed to be natural, because first of all, we knew how much he adored her, and secondly if he ever dared to push too far, she would let him have it. Nothing was more fun than to sit around the table and play games with Grandma and Grandpa Murphy. She’d say or do dumb things, he’d yell, we’d all laugh. Only my family members can relate to this. If you weren’t lucky enough to be part of the Murphy clan, you probably can’t.

True love…now together again

One of my all-time great memories was when Grandma and Grandpa took me on weekend trip to pick up Great Grandma Murphy from her home in West Virginia and bring her back to Ohio in 1983. I knew I could get him to yell at me by talking about KISS, or the National Enquirer, or especially if I refused  toorder anything but hamburgers at the restaurant where we ate. But no matter what, he always looked for anything that he could use to brag about me (as with all of his grandchildren). I did nothing special but buy one of every flavor of candy sticks at the Cracker Barrel where we stopped to eat, but he took delight in telling people how I had had the great idea to get every variety.

Handsome serviceman

My Mom noted at his viewing how talking about his kids and grandkids was classic Grandpa Murphy. He would act almost un-interested in something we told him, but soon we’d hear him bragging about it to someone else – oftentime strangers, of whom he knew none. “Why, my Grandson has got all kinds of…”

Grandpa, Grandma, Mom, Bev, and Jim at the Grand Canyon in 1961

I matured somewhat as I got older, and Grandpa’s voice finally began to weaken, so there was no more yelling in his later years following my Grandma’s passing in 2006. I just got to enjoy the company of Grandpa Murphy during our numerous family gatherings and even a couple of vacations. Losing the love of his life had to be the most difficult thing he had ever faced, and it was only because his five children stayed so active in his life, and in turn kept him active, that he was able to do so well. He always seemed at his happiest to be in the presence of his kids, his grandkids, his great-grandkids, and even Silas, his one great-great-grandchild.

Grandpa, Darlene, Grandma, and me in 1972

The news of his death came completely unexpectedly. I was driving home on Wednesday early afternoon, October 12, 2011, when my Mom called to deliver the news. At that point, all we knew was that my aunt Diana had gone to pick him up for lunch, and had found him on the floor of his apartment, where he lived alone. They were going to meet up with my Mom and their cousin Bobbie and her mother Norma (my Grandpa’s sister-in law). Mom had to go to the restaurant to tell them the news.

Grandpa and Grandma, Easter 1985

The day before, October 11, Grandpa had lunch at Frickers with Bev & Ed, Ed’s sister Virginia, Karen and her girls, and Susan and her boys. Bev took him to pick up a prescription afterward and then dropped him off at home. Sometime that afternoon, he collapsed while washing his hands in the bathroom and never got back up.

Christmas 1997, when I gave Grandpa signed photos of Deanna Durbin, of whom he was a great fan

The thing that makes me happy about this is that he never spent one single day in a nursing home, nor had not spent the day of his passing alone, and thankfully had seen all of his children and many of his grandchildren within the past week. He had not hit his Medic Alert device, so it is likely that he didn’t lay there and suffer. I hope to God that I am so lucky when it is my time to go.

Grandpa relates the tales of how he met President Eisenhower and President Reagan on Memorial Day 2008. We never accused Grandpa of telling tall tales, but we did marvel at the fact that sometimes new stories would surface that even his kids had never heard before.

Grandpa playing Wii, Christmas 2010. He could kick most of our butts at the bowling game.

The last photo taken of my Grandpa Murphy is below. This was taken by Ed at my birthday dinner at the Hibachi Grill in Kettering on Wednesday, October 5, 2011. It is the third of three photos (or session of photos) taken of his four generations of offspring.

Grandpa, me, Ashleigh, Mom, and Silas on October 5, 2011

Following his passing, his five children, Diana, my Mom, Bev, Jim, and Darlene, went to work to prepare for the funeral arrangements – most of which Grandpa had already prepared in advance. Diana wrote a nice synopsis with some notes about Grandpa’s life. My cousin Chris agreed to read it at the funeral and made some minor alterations, mostly just substituting in the world “Grandpa” for “Dad”. It is as follows:

It is my privilege to read to you a short biography of Grandpa’s life that Aunt Diana put together.

Grandpa was born in Eaton, Ohio, the youngest child of Harry and Edith Murphy.  He lived on the west side of Dayton and graduated from Roosevelt High School.

In the 5th grade, he developed inflammation of the kidneys, or Brights’s Disease.  He missed most of the 5th grade and his sister Louise would bring home his homework every day.

In the 6th grade, he got rheumatic fever.  He missed another year of school.  This time the school sent someone to his house to tutor him.

He raised rabbits during the Depression starting with a male and female he named Andy and Madam Queen.  He sometimes sold them to Liberal Markets for some extra money.  He told us he rode his bicycle to California with two friends when he was 14 years old to visit his Grandpa Heywood, and it took them all summer.  He told us he met Queen Elizabeth II before she was queen, he played golf with Dwight Eisenhower, and he sparred with Joe Louis.  He told us lots of stories about being a policeman.

He met Grandma at a roller skating rink.  They were married in Denver, Colorado when they were both 19.  Grandma carried her wedding dress on a train across country to meet Grandpa at Lowry Air Force Base.  A few weeks later, Grandpa left for England and World War II.  He loaded bombs on airplanes at Flixton Air Force Base in England.  Grandma and Grandpa didn’t see each other for almost two years.

Fifty years later, in 1995, he took Grandma back to England to see what was left of Flixton Air Force Base and he found the 446^th Bomb Group Museum.

When Grandpa came home from the War in 1945, he moved in with Grandma and Great-Grandma Murlin.  When they bought their first house, Great-Grandma moved in with them.  Pretty soon there were five kids, Great-Grandma Murlin, and for a while Great-Grandma Murphy lived with them too.  It was a full house!

During this time, he had many different jobs.  He was a tool designer by trade, but when the work was scarce he would get laid off one day and have another job by the next day.  He was a taxi driver, a policeman, a bread truck driver, a wallpaper hanger, a painter, an insurance man, and a bookkeeper, just to name a few.

 Things we remember about Grandpa.  He always kissed Grandma hello and goodbye.  He loved to dance.  He loved to sing in the choir.  He loved working at Fricker’s, which was his second career after retiring from Vulcan Tool.

 He loved his family and his sixteen grandchildren, fifteen great-grandchildren, and one great-great-grandson.  He loved playing Santa with a bow on his head.  He loved sports.  He loved going to Myrtle Beach with his family.  He wrote a song for Grandma called “Little Did I Know”.

 Since Grandma passed away six years ago, he traveled some.  He went to California to visit his cousins, went to Disney World, Alaska, and the WWII Memorial in Washington, DC.  He was always ready to go when someone invited him.

He was fortunate enough to live independently in his own apartment, he still drove his own car, and enjoyed relatively good health.  He lived life to the fullest and he will be missed.

With Grandpa at his final birthday party at Marions Piazza, November 2010

There just really aren’t enough words to express how much my Grandpa Murphy will be missed by his extensive family and countless number of friends. Our solace comes only from knowing that he and Grandma are now together, resting above us…holding hands.

Return to October 2011 (under construction)…

Henrietta and Glen Murlin, grandparents to all of the Murlin cousins

The Murlin cousins had frequent reunions throughout the early and mid-80′s, gathering at Indian Riffle park. The last one of these that I can remember with certainly came in about 1987. Of course, not only was my Grandma Murphy (nee Murlin) alive then, but several of her siblings were still living.

Early gathering of friends and cousins – from April 1951 for the occasion of Diana’s fifth birthday. Front row:  Shirley Palmer, Gary Swartz (the Swartzes were second cousins), David (?), and Mike Murphy (son of Grandpa Murphy’s broter Duane). Row 2: Barbara Swartz, Ronnie Murlin, Diana, Sharon Gray. Row 3: Donna Gray, my Mom, Carol, Bobby, and Butch Murlin.

The reunions slowly petered out after this, although there were occasional gatherings, as recently as about 2005. My Mom thinks that I was in attendance at this gathering at her house, but I do not recall it if I was. And the fact that several of the cousins told me at our most recent gathering that the last time they saw me I was about ‘this’ tall, indicating the region of their knee, seemed to indicate that I was not there. Of course, that memory is false because I was significantly taller than a knee in the mid to late 1980′s.

The most recent gathering came on Sunday, December 5, at around noon at the Marion’s on Shroyer. My Mom and three of her siblings were present and five of her ten cousins were there. Everyone brought there spouses, but the only seepage into the next generation was Ashleigh and me.

The oldest of the five Murlin siblings was Marie, who had married Lawrence Gray. They divorced while the kids were still at home. Due to health reasons and other commitments, none of Marie’s children Rosetta, Lawrence Jr., Donna, or Sharon were present.

Next in line was my Mom’s uncle Bud, whose real name was Clarence. He had married a lady named Joan (pronounced Jo-anne), but despite loving kids, never had any of their own. Joan’s younger sister Rita married the next Murlin child, Bob. They had three kids: Bob Jr., Veronica (who always went by Ronnie), and Mark. Ronnie and her husband Dan and Mark and his wife Judy were both at Marion’s.

Mark & Judy and Ronnie & Dan, with Grandpa Murphy

The fourth Murlin child was Lawrence. Lawrence was a heavy smoker and passed away from lung cancer in 1969 while in his early 40′s. His wife Lilahmae would eventually remarry a man named Russ. Lawrence and Lilahmae had had three children and all were present at Marion’s: Carol and her husband Don, Lawrence Jr. (known as Butch) and his wife Chris, and Steve and his wife Lori. Russ, who soon to be turning 96, also was present and accounted for.

Don & Carol, Steve & Lori, and Butch & Chris, with Russ

And of course, Mom and her siblings (except for Darlene, who was on a cruise at the time) were all there along with Grandpa Murphy. Most of them would be moving onto another one of my Mom’s jewelry parties at Jan’s house that afternoon (hence Ashleigh’s presence).

Mom & Bob, Bev & Ed, Jim & Jan, Diana & Tom, with Grandpa Murphy

I had a great time snapping photos and chatting with some of my Mom’s cousins, who even if I didn’t know them by sight, I knew by name. Bev had a good idea and organized each cousin standing up and just giving a brief rundown of what they and their family had been up to over the past several years.

Catching up over pizza with Ed, Grandpa, Steve. Lori, Jan, Jim, and Bev

Our little anti-social group, me, Ashleigh, Mom, and Bob

Tom, Diana, Dan, Ronnie, Judy, and Mark

Don, Carol, Chris, Butch, and Russ

The cousins reunite: Mark, Ronnie, Steve, Jim, Carol, Butch, Bev, Diana, and Barb

Russ and Harold join the photo op

You might be surprised to learn that the five cousins who were not present actually all live in the Dayton area, so a larger reunion is certainly not out of the question sometime in the near future.

Return to December 2010…

Duane served in the United States Army during World War 2, stationed in Japan, working as an aide to General MacArthur. My Grandpa remembers going to see him graduate from Officer’s Candidate School in Fort Riley, Kansas, in 1941, the year he graduated from high school. After the war ended Duane served in the Army Reserves for 14 years, retiring from the service as a Major.

The Murphy family: Louise, Duane, Edith (mother), Harold (my Grandpa), and Harry (father)

In civilian life, he worked as an accountant and auditor working for the Ohio Paper Company, the Dayton Steel Foundry, and eventually for the State of Ohio, from which he retired. He then went on to volunteer his services in the finance department of Good Samaritan Hospital.

Although we seldom socialized with Duane and his family, my parents became close with his daughter Bobbie back in the mid-1980′s and by default I would socialize with his granddaughter Becky and her younger brother Charles. Most recently, we all visited Duane at the nursing home on Saturday, December 13, 2008, to celebrate his 90th birthday on December 9. Here I was reunited with Becky after more than twenty years.

I attended the nice service at the Tobias Funeral Home in Englewood on Thursday, September 3. It was nice to see all of Duane’s family surround him and hear testimonies by Bobbie and Becky of how much he had meant to their lives. It was nice to see Charles again as well, although I doubt he remembered me from the rambunctious days in the 80′s. Duane’s son Mike, who lives in North Carolina, was also at the service and asked me to serve as a pallbearer. And although I hadn’t met his children (at least that I recall), I got to meet three other second-cousins Sara, Matthew, and Jonathon, all carrying on the Murphy name.

I did not attend the burial service at the Glen Haven Memorial Gardens in Donnellsville, but I understand that it was memorable as Duane received a 21-gun salute and a rendering of Taps. The flag was folded and presented to his widow Norma. After the service was a gathering at the Happy Corner Church of the Brethren. I found it ironic that my family had always been associated with the Brethren, and we never knew that Duane was a member. It makes one wish that we had been more involved with him and his family.

Presented here are some photos collected from various sources of Duane over the years, culminating in our last meeting with him in December 2008.

Duane with his sister Louise and my Grandma Loretta. Their husbands Carroll and Harold (seen in the pictures that they’re holding) were off to war

Duane in 1949 on the horse Pepper

Duane and his wife Norma with their kids Bobbie and Mike

Duane, Louise, and my Grandpa on the occasion of their Mother’s passing . Photo taken on March 25, 1985.

My Grandpa’s last meeting with his brother on December 13, 2008…

…and my last meeting with him as well

2009 will continue…

I might point out that the tradition of the Murphy gathering on Christmas day was not broken until this very year, 2008. As I write this, I am getting ready to head out to the Murphy Christmas party, which is coming two days after the actual holiday. You will be able to compare and contrast the participants when the website coverage of that event comes to the Terrible Catsafterme.

5-year old Darlene visits Santa Claus at the Eagles Christmas party

 Mom and Bev all dressed up during the holiday season. Orange and white were normal colors in 1967.

 Back row: Grandma Murphy, Great Grandma Murlin, Diana, Great Grandma Murphy, Darlene. Front row: Bev, Mom, Tom, and Jim

  Tom chats with Jim over a box of tools

 Grandma Murphy (at right with Grandpa) with her three brothers and their wives: Lawrence and Lilahmae, Bob and Aunt Rita, and Bud and Aunt Joan (pronounced like Jo-Anne)

I had originally assumed that the photos below were also from the 1967 Christmas, but after some lively discussion as seen in the comments below, have determined that they are most likely taken at Grandma and Grandpa’s 25th wedding anniversary around September 13, 1968. They were taken at Diana and Tom’s first home after they were married, located on Yorkshire Drive in Dayton.

 Grandpa and Grandma open up their anniversary gifts

Grandpa handles the gift opening, while Grandma hangs on to the card

Check out last year’s pics here…

Grandpa and the grave of Buffalo Bill

Buffalo Bill’s Monument

Atop Pike’s Peak

Virgil and an interesting landscape

Grandpa and the Pike’s Peak Railway, early morning Wednesday, August 18, 1937

Grandpa poses with a bear, presumably – and hopefully – stuffed

Virgil and the same bear

During their trip to Colorado Springs and Pike’s Peak, Grandpa and Virgil visited the Garden of the Gods and snapped the photo below of Grandpa with Balanced Rock.

Nearly fifty years later – in the Spring of 1986 – his grandchildren Denise and I visited the Garden of the Gods as well. Although I didn’t have the good sense to actually get in a photo of Balanced Rock, Denise and my Mom did. Although taken from a slightly different angle, as one obsessed with ‘then-and-now’ images, I find it interesting to compare the photos of the same tourist attraction taken fifty years apart.