The Terrible Catsafterme

Brad's Musings and Meanderings

random acts of quoting

"Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?" - Bluto, "Animal House"

SEASON 1 – NBC

Created by Paul Henning

Theme music composed by Del Sharbutt, Frank Stanton, Richard Uhl

NOTE: This series was re-named “Love That Bob” in syndication. NOTE: Robert Cummings portrayed a character named Bob Collins in the 1945 film “You Came Along”

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  • 001. Calling Dr. Baxter – 1/2/1955
    • Photographer Bob Collins (Robert Cummings) is a photographer and Air Force Reserve officer living in Hollywood with his widowed sister Margaret MacDonald (Rosemary DeCamp) and her teenage son Chuck (Dwayne Hickman). As a bachelor who often takes pictures of models, Bob is quite the ladies’ man, but wishes to remains single despite the fact that his secretary Charmaine “Schultzy” Schultz (Ann B. Davis) being in love with him. She goes to great lengths to assist Bob, including dressing in a gorilla suit for a shot with a model bride (Joi Lansing)… which causes confusion when one of Margaret’s older friends named Mrs. Anderson (Isabel Randolph) comes to have her dog’s photo taken by Bob, and thinks that Bob’s assistant Schultzy is actually a gorilla. Later Margaret asks Bob to have a father talk with Chuck, because she thinks he is becoming too fixated a former neighbor girl he knew as a child named Francine Williams (Diane Jergens). Bob thinks it is harmless until he sees how much Francine has grown up. He tries to Chuck at his studio, but he is too distracted by the various models (Donna Foster, Beverly Kidd, Trudy Wroe) Meanwhile, Margaret gets a letter from an old classmate named Dr. Tony Baxter (Frank Wilcox), who requests to see a recent picture of Margaret. She plans to send him a picture of her and Chuck, but Bob, anxious to help marry her off, takes some sexier photos of her to send Baxter. Schultzy takes it upon herself to send off the photos when she sees how young Margaret looks, and also tells Baxter how much her ‘little boy’ Chuck needs a father. Once Baxter gets the photos, he immediately departs on a flight to Los Angeles. Margaret thinks she will look too old when he sees her in person, so Bob sets up special studio lighting in the house. When he first arrives, he meets Mrs. Anderson, who had come to pick up a card table and is sitting in the light. He also meets Chuck who is dressed like a little boy and claims to be eight years old. Bob runs her out of the house and volunteers to have Schultzy drive her home, but Mrs. Anderson still thinks Schultzy is a gorilla. Just as both Margaret and Bob thinks that Baxter going to propose, he tells her that he only came to find out who took the great photos, so he can hire the photographer to take pictures for him and his wife. Bob immediately puts the champagne he has passed out back in the bottle. 1/6/22

  • 005. Bob Becomes a Genius – 1/30/1955
    • While attempting to photograph the homely Thelma Klempert (Frances Pasco), Bob receives a visit from his old photography mentor Burt Mason (Will Wright) who has an offer for Bob to photograph glamorous movie star Phillipa Farnsworth (Gale Robbins). Burt admits that she doesn’t like any of the photos he’s taken of her, but butters Bob up by telling him that he is great with the ladies. When Bob shows up at the studio to photograph her, he finds her rude and cruel to her workers and refuses to take her picture. Not used to being told no, she assumes that Bob must be a genius and becomes fixated on having him take her picture. She tries seducing him, bribing Schultzy with expensive gifts, convincing an actor friend (Paul Frees) to pose as a hoodlum and strong arm him, and finally by visiting Margaret and Chuck and pretending to be a nice woman who has been wronged by people who think she is spoiled. Bob quickly exposes her and throws her out. Her final attempt is to fire Burt, which gets Bob to come up with another plan: agree to photograph her, but behave so eccentrically and abusively that she has runs back to Burt and re-hires him. Jerry Hausner is Phillipa’s agent Rudy. 2/4/19

SEASON 2 – CBS

  • 039. Bob Avoids Another Niece – 12/1/1955
    • Bob is working to photograph a model named Barbara (Rose Beaumont) and a cow, who is actually Schultzy with a fake head. It is clear that Shultzy is being overworked as she struggles to keep up with the phone, the lobby, and the coffee. She and Barbara discuss needing help at the studio, and Schultzy remembers the time that Bob ordered a secretary that couldn’t type because she looked good. Schultzy decides to preemptively bring in her friend, the man-hungry Bertha Krause (Kathleen Freeman), who is currently working as a switchboard operator. Meanwhile, Mrs. Niemeyer (Marjorie ) wants to bring in her niece Ellen (Jean Moorhead) for a job interview with Bob. He wants to avoid the niece because he feels she won’t very good looking, so he tells Schultzy to tell her that he’s out photographing a fire. She tells Mrs. Niemeyer that he’s photographing the fire station on fire. This rumor gets back to Bob via Billy the paper boy (Bob Cummings Jr.), so he leaves to take pictures of what he thinks is a real fire. He catches a glimpse of Ellen’s legs before he leaves. Both Ellen and Bertha leave their photos for Bob to review, Ellen’s showing her modeling, and Bertha showing pictures she took. When Bob returns, he thinks the modeling photos of the gorgeous Ellen belong are of Bertha, but thinks Bertha is Mrs. Niemeyer’s niece. The real Ellen is scared to interview with Bob alone because she’s heard he’s a wolf. Mrs. Niemeyer warns him of this, so Bob decides to try to scare her off. Again thinking that Bertha is the niece, he aggressively pursues her, only to find that she has no qualms about throwing him down and kissing her. Ellen sees this, and declares Bob a monster and storms out. Bob is so annoyed about the misunderstanding that he threatens to throw Schultzy in the developing fluid. Bill Baldwin is the announcer and Winston is the sponsor. Bob introduces his real-life son before going into a Winston spiel. 5/17/22
  • 040. The Wolf Sitter – 12/8/1955
    • Chuck has been doing some woodworking and creating spoon racks to sell to raise extra money for school. One problem with the rack is that the spoons won’t come out of them, and the second issue is that his saw is too loud to make conversation possible in the kitchen. As a result, Bob removes the fuse to stop him from working on more spoon racks. Bob also tells Chuck that he needs to come up with a new and novel idea because he doubts these spoon racks would sell anyway. He tells Chuck to come by his office and they will think of a moneymaking idea. Meanwhile at the office, Schultzy wants to go shopping with Margaret and buy Bob a sweater that costs $19.98 but doesn’t have the money. Margaret agrees to loan her the money, but she needs to borrow it from Bob first. Also, Schultzy uses Bob’s model guide that he’s created in order to hire a model named Jean Blackburn (May Wynn) to do some ad work for a skin lotion. However, she knows that Bob doesn’t care for this model because a few weeks earlier she turned down Bob’s requests for a date. Schultzy thinks this is a good opportunity to get the money for the sweater, so she bets Bob that Jean will turn him down again. Despite the fact that Chuck comes by and interrupts him in order to discuss a money-making idea for him, Bob gives it everything he’s got to convince Jean that he’s a business-minded, responsible guy who she can trust. However, when Jean’s date for that night, Harry, calls to arrange to pick up Jean, Bob tells him that he will have to call back later… and then takes the phone off the hook. When Harry sends a follow-up telegram, Bob tells Jean that it is from the Air Force calling him back into service despite his injured leg that makes him limp. Jean takes pity on him and asks him to pick her up that night at 8:00. Since that is the time that Harry was going to get her, he asks if he can get her at 7:30. Chuck comes up with a money-making idea but Bob doesn’t have time to discuss it at the office or later at home. Bob has a nice date with Jean and acts as if he has to be talked into coming into her apartment. However, he is thrilled to be invited in, until he sees that Jean’s niece Gertrude (Sheila James) is staying with her, and he is unable to get rid of her. Bob comes home that night and Chuck thanks him for inspiring him to find a money-making idea. It seems that he used Bob’s book of models to drum up business, which is to use a teenager they supply to act as a relative in order to fend off men who are wolves after a date. Chuck tells Bob that Gertrude was one of the big money-makers of the night. Bob encourages Chuck to go back to his spoon racks. Claire Kelly is the model, Miss Kelly. 2/17/24
  • 042. Grandpa’s Christmas Visit – 12/22/1955
    • Bob’s grandfather Josh Collins (Bob Cummings) comes to stay with the family for the Christmas holiday. His photographic equipment is outdated, but his energy exhausts everyone in the household. On the second day of his visit he comes down to visit Bob at the office and ends up taking some photos of Bob’s favorite model Mary Beth Hall (Gloria Marshall), who is ravenous because she has been starving herself for a photo shoot, but Grandpa’s flirtation causes her to storm out. When Bob finds out that Grandpa intends to have a date the next night, he intercepts and impersonates Grandpa and gets a date for him with the elderly Mrs. Taylor (Mary Young). He brings home Mary Beth for his own date, but when Grandpa comes home, he assumes that Mary Beth is his date. Grandpa coaxes Mary Beth into leaving with him with promises of a giant meal. Bob winds up having to spend the evening playing checkers with Mrs. Taylor. 11/6/17
  • 062. Scramble for Grandpa – 5/24/1956
    • The Ground Observer Corps of the Continental Air Defense Command have their hands full in Joplin, Missouri as Josh “Grandpa” Collins keeps taking his old World War Jenny plane up in restricted air space. Air Force Commander Henry C. Barnes (Jerry Paris) has had trouble with getting him out of the air, as he has no radio, never announces his flight, and uses elusive measures to escape the military when they scramble and pursue him, nor does he take them seriously when they try and talk to him. Barnes has to answer to his superior Col. Harry Jenkins (Addison Richards), who wants the issue resolved immediately. While Bob is shooting photos of his model Taffy (Roxanne Arlen), Grandpa has returned to his studio and is photographing his older girlfriend Dixie Yates (Bea Benaderet), who wants to go for a spin in his plane. Bob hears from the Joplin Air Force and calls Grandpa to tell him to stop flying in the area. Grandpa thinks he is being stalked by flying hot rods, so Bob explains that they are Air Force Jet Interceptors meant to guard against attack. When Grandpa takes Dixie for the flight that afternoon, and Barnes orders another scramble to bring him down. Grandpa once again takes wild evasive action and loses them. Jenkins then turns to Bob and tells him that if he doesn’t ground his grandfather, they will ground him. As Bob and Margaret fly to Joplin, Jenkins then goes over to see Grandpa to try to convince him that he is interfering with their military tactics. His speech excites Josh to cooperate with the military… but his idea is to take a more active role of flying around and looking for the enemy and then shooting them down with a rifle. Col. Jenkins tells Barnes that he thinks they’ve seen the last of Grandpa’s flights, but elsewhere Grandpa and his rifle are taking off. Jenkins takes the brunt of Grandpa’s attack with buckshot, and then returns to the base and angrily awaits Bob’s arrival. When he arrives, the Colonel refers to Bob as a Major… until he can ground his grandfather. By order of General Partridge, Bob’s rank will go down whenever Grandpa takes flight. Jenkins sends ‘Captain’ Collins up to get him. He brings Grandpa down and has a long talk with him. Grandpa  agrees to sit on EaglePicher Hill as volunteers of the Ground Observer Corp to look for airplanes. Dixie agrees to give Grandpa a kiss for every plane they spot. Bob later asks Margaret to go for flight with him so he can fly over EaglePicher Hill six times. Two of the requests came from Grandpa, while four of them came from Dixie. 6/20/23

SEASON 3

  • 066. Grandpa Meets Zsa Zsa – 10/4/1956
    • Grandpa Collins is going to be appearing on the TV show See It Immediately, which will be broadcasting from Joplin, Missouri. The host (Paul Frees) introduces the segment in which Grandpa hosts a beauty contest to find Miss Schifferdecker Park. Grandpa makes his selection, and she gives him a long kiss on the air, which naturally angers Grandpa’s girlfriend Dixie Yates (Lurene Tuttle). Meanwhile, Schultzy reveals to Margaret and Chuck the real reason that Bob recommended Grandpa to host the contest rather than returning to Joplin himself: he’s been trying to land a photo session with Hungarian actress Zsa Zsa Gabor (herself). The two have flirted over the phone and have been working on setting up a meeting, which hasn’t happened yet. Back in Joplin, Dixie is furious with Grandpa for his display on TV, and furthermore for the last fifty years that he hasn’t proposed to her. When gets down on his knee in front of her, she automatically assumes he is proposing, and accepts the engagement. Grandpa calls home and tells Chuck to relay the message that he is getting married to a former Miss Schifferdecker Park. Chuck assumes that he is marrying the new beauty queen (Trudy Wroe) he just crowned, but she is already getting married to a body builder (Jim Salisbury) anyway. When Chuck and Margaret share the news with Bob, he decides to fly out to Joplin to try and stop it, sending a telegram ahead that he wants to set up his fiancé with a Hollywood audition. Grandpa decides to take Dixie and fly to Hollywood, as Bob is flying to Joplin. Bob arrives and tracks down the new Miss Schifferdecker Park, and is told by the hotel desk clerk (Bill Baldwin) that she is in the Honeymoon Suite with her new husband. Bob goes up to read them the riot act, and winds up giving the body builder a black eye, and receives one himself from the model. Back in Hollywood, Grandpa and Dixie go to Bob’s studio to find him, and winds up meeting Zsa Zsa who has shown up to see Bob. She mistakes Grandpa Josh for Bob and cannot believe he is the same man she spoke to on the phone. Nevertheless, she gives him a chance and the two kiss passionately in the studio until Dixie walks in and rushes Grandpa out of there. Zsa Zsa concedes that Josh is in fact a terrific ladies’ man. 9/10/22
  • 069. The Beautiful Psychologist – 10/25/1956
    • Bob wants to give flying lessons to Chuck, but Margaret thinks that Chuck is too young to start learning how to fly. Bob pokes fun of her for being so old-fashioned, by telling her that he is going to trade in the TV for a spinning wheel, and that she should be wearing a bustle. When Chuck gets home, he seems perfectly okay with not taking the lessons until he is a little bit older, much to Bob’s surprise. Later, Chuck has his friend Jimmy Lloyd (Jeffrey Silver) over, and Bob overhears them through the vent, with Chuck bragging about all of Bob’s bravery and heroism during his military service. Chuck then believes that Chuck wants to skip the flying lessons because he is afraid he can’t live up to his uncle’s reputation. Margaret tries to tell him that Chuck simply wants to focus on his schoolwork right now, but Bob doesn’t believe that. In fact, when Chuck’s school counselor Laura Hayhen (Marcia Henderson) comes over to work with Chuck, Bob wants no part of it… until he sees how beautiful she is. Then he suddenly becomes hands-on with her, and tells her how qualified he is to help him. Laura finds him insecure, and Margaret corroborates every theory she has about Bob feeling inadequate and about his age regression. Margaret gets back at Bob’s earlier comments about thinking they should replace the TV with a spinning wheel. Bob gets annoyed and ‘plays along’ by riding his bicycle through the house. Margaret sets the record straight with Laura that she was only ribbing him back. She comes to his office to apologize for snap judgement about him, and then acts very interested in the fact that he’s a pilot. He responds by asking her to go on a night flight with him, but she tells him that she’s not interested in him and modifies her analysis indicating that Bob is looking for gratification of his dominant male psychosis, and then walks out on him. Meanwhile, Bob brings in his friend Harvey Helm (King Donovan) to cut Bob down a few pegs for Chuck’s sake, so he won’t always be in Bob’s shadow. Bob and Harvey position themselves in front of the vent, not realizing that Chuck isn’t in his room – but Laura is there looking over his schoolwork. Bob admits to some of his supposed failings, but then Harvey goes too far for Bob telling him how incompetent he is. Laura admits to Bob that she overheard all that Harvey said, so this time Bob plays along and pretends that it is all true, and then he asks for her help in giving him the courage to try. This time, his ruse works, and he manages to get her up in the plane to comfort him as he makes his flight. 9/11/22
  • 079. Eleven Angry Women aka Beach Bandit – 1/10/1957
    • When Bob finds out that he’s been selected for jury duty, he tells Schultzy to report back and tell them that he has an injury that will get him out of reporting. Not even a rousing patriotic speech from the newsboy (Tony Henning) can change his mind. However, once he sees that the accuse is known as the ‘Beach Bandit’ a very attractive woman named Harriet Burke (Jackie Loughery), he changes his tune. Schultzy thinks he will never pass the jury selection when they see how much of a wolf he is. Bob purposely reports to jury duty disguised as a wimpy and effeminate man, so the District Attorney (Richard Deacon) has no objection to him. Once the trial starts, Bob begins cross-questioning the D.A. during the proceedings, especially when he remarks that sin and beauty go hand-in-hand as he tries to prove that Miss Burke lured men and then robbed them on the beach. Since  Schultzy and the newsboy follow the case through the papers, and Schultzy predicts that Bob will somehow get Miss Burke into her bathing suit. Sure enough Bob not only gets her into her suit, but also questions how she could take men’s wallets when her bathing suit is full of her body. The next day, the D.A. announces that they have found Miss Burke’s confederate Freddy, who would take the wallet from the victim. It turns out that Freddy is her dog, and he would take the wallet from under the victim’s beach chair while she was distracting them by walking by. The jury is initially hung, as Bob is the only one who finds her not guilty, while the eleven women all find her guilty. Most of the jurists claim to love dogs and find it reprehensible that Miss Burke taught Freddy to do that. However, Bob convinces them that if she is found guilty, the dog will be so depressed that it will eventually starve itself. The count then changes the other way 11-1, with one jurist (Maudie Prickett) who isn’t a dog lover still finding Miss Burke guilty. Bob speaks to her privately and offers to steal away with her at the hotel. She is quick to then join the other jurors in finding Miss Burke not guilty. After the trial, Bob drives Miss Burke home to her beach house, but returns to the office furious, having had his wallet stolen and thrown her back in jail. He still has Freddy, who has stolen a woman’s purse, causing a woman to have an officer take Bob off to jail. Robert Carson is the judge. Charles Wagenheim is the court clerk. William Kendis is the Press Photographer. Barbara Drew and Nora Marlowe as Mrs. Beaumont are jurors. 6/21/23
  • 084. Bob Tangles with Ruthie – 2/14/1957
    • While cleaning in Bob’s room, Margaret finds a framed matrix of photos of women, all of whom Bob is taking out that week, each with a photo for each day of the week. Just for fun, Margaret moves the photos around, so that when one of the girls named Cynthia calls to find out what time he is picking her up, Bob thinks it is Shirley thanks to the jumbled photos. He manages to talk his way out of it by reciting his poetry. As Bob leaves the house, he hears Chuck quoting his poetry to one of his girlfriends, and then finds Chuck’s friend Jimmy Lloyd doing the same from another room. Apparently, several of Chuck’s friends has listened in on the call. That day at work, Bob gives Schultzy some set direction about photos he wants to take for part of a Cleopatra photo set. Margaret brings Chuck into the office and demands that she talk to Chuck about coming home late. Chuck claims that he had wanted to come home, but his girlfriend Carol made him stay out late. Just then Harvey and his wife Ruth (Mary Lawrence), who are Carol’s aunt and uncle come in to talk to Bob and insist that Chuck not date her again as long as Chuck is under Bob’s supervision. Bob takes issue with Harvey and Ruthie forbidding Carol to see his nephew. Although Bob had grounded Chuck, he now insists that Chuck continue dating Carol. Bob says he is doing this in honor of his family, but Margaret agrees with Ruthie. Then Ruthie threatens to take away the allowance of both Carol and Harvey unless they take her side. This ultimately leaves Bob and Chuck standing alone without the support of anyone else. Later, Bob tells Schultzy to fix up the set pieces for the Cleopatra photo shoot. Bob then imagines Harvey as Mark Antony under the spell of Cleopatra aka Ruthie. Bob then enters as Octavius Caesar, and because Harvey aka Mark Antony has fallen under Cleopatra’s spell, they fight, and Caesar kills Mark Antony. Bob is then ablel to beguile Cleopatra but refuses to fall under her spell. Bob’s kiss is even able to revive a mummy. He refuses to kneel before any woman, but Cleopatra warns him that she will make him her slave. Bob holds enough power over her to make her bark on his command. After his fantasy, he calls for Schultzy to help decorate the set. She is in the reception area getting the message from Harvey that he has to fly for a quick trip to Reno to close a furniture deal, which she is supposed to relay to Ruthie. However, Bob intercepts the message and has her told that Harvey has left Ruthie. She comes over to see Bob and begs him to get Harvey back for her, promising to become a different wife and letting Harvey take his place as lord and master of the house. She also promises to allow Chuck and Carol to date. Unfortunately, Harvey finishes his business and returns very quickly, walking into the room behind Bob as he negotiates the deal on Harvey’s behalf. Even though Harvey has now returned, Bob still promises to fly to Reno in order to keep up his end of the bargain… and expects Ruth to do the same. Charles Horvath is the Egyptian soldier. 10/15/23
  • 094. Bob Meets Miss Sweden – 4/24/1957
    • The annual Secretaries Week convention in Reno, Nevada is coming up, and Schultzy believes that if she can get Miss Sweden Ingrid Goude (herself), who is an honored guest representing European secretaries, to travel with them, then she can get Bob to take along her, Pamela Livingstone, and Bertha Krause in his airplane. Margaret serves Bob breakfast in bed and then pleads their case for him to take them, but it isn’t until he sees her photo in the paper that he suddenly is ready to go. Before they leave, the ladies warn Ingrid how much of a wolf Bob is, but she tells them that all she has to do is pretend that she speaks on English. He invites her up to the cockpit to ride next to him while he flies, and is surprised to find Margaret up there already, not even realizing that she is coming along. On the way there, Ingrid just repeats one Swedish phrase to him, which he doesn’t understand. He tries to get it interpreted by the ground crew, but they can’t find anyone to speak Swedish. It’s actual translation is “Don’t waste your time. You haven’t got a chance with me.” When the ground crew keep asking him who he has on board, he’s afraid that the hotel will be swarming with servicemen if they find out that he has Miss Sweden on board, so he also tells them that there are four other women on board, hoping that it will get servicemen to take them off of his hands once they arrive at the Mapes hotel. Sure enough, there are five servicemen waiting for Bob and the women. Bob tries to tell them that not all of the women on board aren’t raving beauties, but they all choose to believe that the ladies are beauty queens from other European countries. The Air Force Captain (Norman Alden) among them sends away their extra guy Eddie (Jimmy Murphy) and tell him he’ll have to settle for the Chicago secretary they met. Up in the room, the ladies use Pamela’s bird-watching binoculars to spot actor Gordon Scott (himself), who is now playing Tarzan in the movies. When Bob comes to the room, the ladies warn him about Scott, but he says he’ll have no problem tossing him into the pool. Once he meets the gigantic actor, he tires a new tact and tells Scott that Miss Sweeden is quite ugly and will ruin his career if he escorts her and poses for publicity photos with her. Eddie shows up at the room to get a look at the ‘other’ beauty queens, but when he meets Pamela and Bertha, Scott is convinced that Bob is telling the truth, and Eddie gladly returns to his Chicago secretary. With Gordon Scott scared off, Bob tries to get Ingrid to go on a boat ride, but she reveals what her Swedish phrase has meant all along. However, she is willing to go on the boat ride… as long as the other four chaperones go along. 12/29/22

SEASON 4 – NBC

  • 122. Bob Gets Harvey a Raise – 3/11/1958
    • Bob tries to stave off arguing between his two models Shirley Swanson (Joi Lansing) and Collette Dubois (Lisa Gaye), both of whom he is dating. Meanwhile his friend Harvey asks for Bob’s advice on how to entertain a potential client who can potentially buy a huge load of furniture from him. Before Bob knowns it, Harvey has talked Bob into posing as him and taking the client H.R. “Hap” Henderson (Jesse White). He brings along both Collette and Shirley but tells each that she is Bob’s date. Back at the office, Harvey tries to get hold of his controlling wife, but can’t get either his son Tommy or daughter Nancy to put her on the phone to tell her that he will be working late. At the Mermaid Club, Bob maneuvers the girls by telling each of them that the other said that neither one could steal Harvey from the other. Bob tells Hap that both girls are interested in him, but neither like him. Bob also manages to get the girls to hold hands behind his chair, with each thinking they are holding hands with him. He frequently gets rid of the girls one at a time by telling them that they have shiny noses. They wind up staying out all night and Bob falls asleep on his studio couch, with Hap stored inside his fold-out couch. Harvey comes to the studio to try to help get Hap to sign a contract for fifteen loads. Hap wants no part of it then, but promises to double it… but only after another night of revelry that evening, much to the amusement of Schultzy. 4/27/20
  • 123. Bob Saves Harvey – 3/18/1958
    • Bob continues to help out his friend Harvey by entertaining Harvey’s potential client Hap Henderson whose order could help get Harvey promoted to Vice President in his furniture company. The only complication is that Henderson thinks that Bob is Harvey. Bob is so exhausted the next day, he falls asleep behind the camera as he works. Harvey needs to take Henderson out again, but Bob is too exhausted and finds Henderson to be a windbag. Harvey reminds Bob how he saved his hide during the war via flashback when he jumped out of a plane in trouble to lighten the weight, and then threatens suicide until Bob agrees. Bob lines up Collette as his own date, and brings along Shirley for Hap, with the understanding that Collette will help dance with Hap and wear him out quickly so she can be alone with Bob. Meanwhile Harvey calls Ruth’s mother looking for her, and she assumes that Harvey is out carousing around, so she sends Ruth to check on him at the Mermaid Club. He isn’t actually there as he is drawing up the contract, but once Bob gives him the signal, he heads over to have Hap sign it. When he arrives, he dances with Collette while Bob gets Harvey’s signature, and naturally Ruth catches him in the act. Harvey ultimately gets the signature and his promotion, but at the cost of Ruth delivering a black eye to both him and Bob. 1/12/20
  • 124. Bob Goes Birdwatching – 3/25/1958
    • While Bob is photographing swimsuit models, Pamela tries to coax him to get into nature with her by going birdwatching, temping him with a photograph of her with her neighbor Cecily Allen (Patricia Cutts) watching birds. Bob is only interested in Cecily and attempts to make a date with her at Griffith Park but is shot down. Meanwhile Bob’s friend Bill Lear (John Archer) tries to convince him to go hunting UFO’s with him at Griffith Park. Bob decides to pair off Pamela and John and sends them off, but as they head out, Cecily returns and agrees to go to Griffith Park, so Pamela sends her off with Bill. As John attempt to discredit Bob with Cecily, Bob heads off with Pamela to try and separate them. Cecily is actually enamored with Bob thanks to Bill’s ‘bad boy’ stories, and when his car breaks down, Bill picks them up, drops off Cecily to get ready for their date, and then takes them to Bob’s house, where Bob sends Bill to talk UFO’s with Chuck, and Pamela to get cleaned up with Margaret. Bob then calls Cecily and sneaks off to see her in Bill’s car. When he shows up to get her, he finds that actor Charles Coburn (himself) has arrived ahead of him and has secured a date. 8/2/18
  • 125. Bob Goes to the Moon – 4/1/1958
    • Bob’s relationship with Ingrid Goude (herself) hits a road bump when the language barrier causes Bob to ask if he can join Ingrid in a bath. He gets some instruction language records with plans to listen to the Swedish tutorial while he sleeps, but Margaret plays a trick on him and swaps it with the German record. The next day when he attempts to speak to her, only German will come out, causing Ingrid to get angry with him again. When Chuck and Carol Henning (Olive Sturgess) tell Bob about a movie they saw about teenagers taking over the moon, Bob gets the idea to tell Ingrid that he’s going to the moon. He has his friend rocket scientist Bill Lear bring a model of the latest rocket ship being built for the moon, and then makes sure to volunteer to man the expedition in earshot of Ingrid. Much to Bob’s surprise, Bill thinks it is a great idea and vows to run it by his superior General Talman. As Bill leaves and discusses Bob’s journey with Ingrid and Pamela, Bob scrambles to call Talman and tell him that Bill has some crazy idea about him going to the moon. Ingrid vows she will miss Bob, as Bob tries to get her to leave him with a ‘memory’ he can take with him on his journey. Pamela meanwhile is trying to convince Bill that she will go along with Bob to help him on his mission. The next news, the newspapers are filled with info about Bob and Pamela’s impending trip to the moon – which were all planted by Pamela – as well as Bill swearing he didn’t let the info leak, and Talman calling and reading Bob the riot act. 1/12/20
  • 126. Bob Retrenches – 4/8/1958
    • Bob is in a great mood because it appears that he turned a very healthy profit the previous year. He gives Schultzy $10 to buy coffee for herself and her secretary friends, and tells her to get a list from Chuck of what he wants for his birthday. He goes off to see his taxman, thinking this year he will be able to pay his taxes in one lump sum. He comes back to the office in a much different mood, and is furious that Schultzy spent so much on coffee. He then goes home and finds that Chuck has picked out his expensive birthday outfit and charged it to Bob’s account. He strips the clothes off Chuck and takes them all back to the store, then tells Chuck and Margaret to meet him at his office and bring their cancelled checks. They show up dressed like the poor people of Paris, as they go over every expenditure. Most everything has an explanation leading back to Bob, who can’t understand why Margaret wrote a check for $25 for flowers for the gardener. It turns out it was written to send flowers to actress Ava Gardner. Bob sends Chuck out with a stack of invoices to collect on. Bob tries to tell Schultzy that he doesn’t want to pay her to drink coffee, so he tells her to make her own coffee and have the other secretaries over there… and to charge them ten cents a cup. Schultzy gives Bob an idea to take to the IRS man S.J. “Henry” Jollison (Charles Lane), and to ask if he can write off his dates in that he always has to bring in new talent to photograph. Jollison tells him he’ll look into it. Back at the office, Schultzy has the idea to charge the other secretaries 25 cents per cup of coffee, which also gets them a look at Bob in action with his lady model Harriet Wyle (Dorothy Johnson). Jollison then shows up to talk to Bob, and finds Schultzy collecting money to watch the money, and sees Chuck bringing him a stack of money from his collection round. Jollison reports the fraud to the police, but later Bob is able to explain everything and is finally able to see Mr. Jollison in good humor, understanding that all of the evidence is just circumstantial. They have a good laugh over it, as Jollison exits Bob’s jail cell. Rose Marie is the secretary Bertha. Pattie Chapman is the secretary Gertrude. 7/9/21 
  • 130. Grandpa Attends the Convention – 5/6/1958
    • Grandpa Josh tricks Margaret into flying to his hometown of Joplin, Missouri, to get her out of the way of his visit to attend a reunion of his old military buddies from the 1st. U.S. Calvary. Meanwhile Pamela arranges a photo shoot for her Grandma (Nancy Kulp), who turns out to be one of Grandpa’s old girlfriends. Grandpa does a remarkable job of avoiding Bob who wants to read him the riot act for the trick he pulled. When Grandpa sees Pamela, he believes she is her Grandmother Annie Brickley. Pamela goes to get her grandmother, and Grandpa photographs Bob’s model Ingrid, using his applejack alcohol to set off the flash. Bob finally tracks him down at his office, where he meets up with Pamela’s grandmother who mistakes him for a young Grandpa Josh, who has actually taken Ingrid out for a drive using the cider for gas. Bob and Grandma pursue them on horseback. 11/6/17
  • 131. Grandpa’s Old Buddy – 5/13/1958
    • Margaret returns from Joplin and is livid to find that Grandpa has turned the house into a barnyard with chickens and a goat in the kitchen, and a cow in the garage. Bob, who has been in Las Vegas on a photo shoot, tells Margaret not to deny Grandpa of his eccentricities. Bob tells Margaret that he won’t be able to stick around because he going to be on a photo assignment in Palm Springs covering a medical convention, which is actually a convention of 2000 nurses who will be in a beauty contest that Bob is planning to judge. Pamela tries to arrange for her grandmother to be photographed by Grandpa Josh so that they can finally meet, so Bob says he can do it while he is in Palm Springs. Bob’s girlfriends Collette and Shirley bicker of Bob, but both are angry with him when they find out he is going to Palm Springs without them. Meanwhile Grandpa and his old friend Charlie Hanley (Andy Clyde) arrange to go out for a night on the town, and Grandpa thinks he can find dates at Bob’s studio. They go to the office and meet Collette and Shirley, who quickly turn them down. The men return home to dress in their old military uniforms to impress them. Pamela’s grandmother shows up to be photographed, but when they find out that Bob is going to Palm Springs, they quickly snap up Grandpa and Charlie when they return and ask them to drive them to Palm Springs in their convertible. Although Bob tries to get their attention and stop them, they head out on the open road in their topless jalopy, taking the back dirt roads to get to Palm Springs. 8/9/20
  • 132. Bob Digs Rock ‘n’ Roll – 5/27/1958
    • Schultzy narrates two converging stories, beginning with Bob’s history in trying to woo Ingrid and always coming up short, and of Chuck’s pursuit of Carol, which is stymied by her love of rock and roll sensation Stanley Stenner (himself). Chuck steals his poster from the campus theater and fills it with darts. Bob berates him for this until he sees the photo on the poster was taken by rival photographer Wally Seawell (Dan Tobin), and he adds his own darts. Stanley comes to the house to get the poster back and has a stand-off with Chuck, who tricks him out of the house. Seawell demands that Bob use the negatives form the photo and make another enlargement. Chuck wants to buy a guitar and learn it in order to win Carol back. He finds some of Bob’s war medals that he wants to trade for the guitar, but Bob refuses… even though Bob had merely bought the medals from a pawn shop himself. One of the medals is a Swedish award that he gets Swedish janitor Ole Svenson (El Brendel) to translate as “Sweden’s Greatest Hero.” Ole himself has a medal that looks nearly identical that says “Sweden’s Greatest Liar” – which he won in a tall-tale-telling contest. Schultzy had Ole swap the hero medal for the one with that says ‘liar’. When Bob is photographing Ingrid at the beach, he casually lets her see the medal, causing her to laugh and ask to hear the story. Bob tells his own tall tale about rescuing a group of men during the war, which she assumes is just the tall tale he told to win the medal. He is shocked however that she turns him down for another date. Chuck manages to borrow the guitar from the pawn shop much to Bob’s irritation, who doesn’t think that rock and roll can win over a girl. However he changes his tune, when Ingrid runs into Stanley at Bob’s office, and he manages to charm her with his rock and roll. Bob ten grabs Chuck’s guitar and tries to join in the dancing party going on in his studio. NOTE: This is the first of a two-part episode. 8/9/20
  • 134. Bob Frees Schultzy – 6/10/1958
    • Schultzy, Margaret, and Martha Randolph (Rose Marie) find out that their friend Tilly Wessel is getting married, and they can hardly believe it considering how unappealing she is. Martha suggests that it is because she got a job at the missile factory where she works with thousands of men. Schultzy claims that one day Bob will propose to her when he decides to settle down, and then has a vision of Bob proposing as he is getting ready to turn 100 years old. She comes to, when Bob asks for a hand painting… and Schultzy think he’s asking for her hand. She finally realizes what he actually meant and starts to paint. Margaret tells Bob that Schultzy is wasting her time and needs to work someplace where she can meet men but Bob is too distracted by his gorgeous model Collette, while Martha tries to talk Schultzy into taking a job at the factory. Schultzy is too loyal to Bob to hear any of it, so Martha storms out. Bob tells Margaret that not all girls want to get married, citing Collette as a perfect example. He says he’ll ask her if she’d prefer her fun free life to a life a marriage and children, and comes into the room excited that she thinks Bob has proposed. He had to turn her down, which then puts her into a terrible mood as well. Martha offers to take Schultzy over to the missile factory, and reluctantly tells Collette she can come too, but when she helps her change her clothes, she leaves Collette behind undressed to avoid having her there as competition. Both Margaret and Martha continue to press Bob while he’s trying to eat to try to get him to make Schultzy want to leave for the missile factory, but it isn’t until he overhears her telling Collette what a terrific job it would be, but that Bob needs her. He starts to order her around and insult her and her friends, and he finally pushes her over the edge when he insults Martha. She is finally ready to leave for the job at the factory, when Margaret comes in and tells Shultzy that she needs to quit because Bob lost a lot of money and will need to cut her salary in half. Schultzy now believes that rather than tell Schultzy that, he insulted her just to get her to take the good job. She then becomes more loyal than ever before. This episode is sponsored by Vaseline and Winston. 5/17/22
  • 135. Bob’s Forgotten Fiancée – 6/17/1958
    • When Chuck begins to behave like a wolf and brushes off Carol, Margaret and Harvey think Bob needs to straighten Chuck out. However Bob is so flattered when he realizes Chuck is emulating his behavior that he refuses. Meanwhile Bob’s friend Paul shows up with his a beautiful stewardess named Patricia Plummer (Constance Towers) who he wants Bob to photograph. Harvey relates to everyone how Bob once discarded a sheriff’s daughter while stationed in San Antonio with the Air Force Reserves using a tactic where he gives a girl named Frances (Laurie Anders) a promise engagement ring and tells her that only time will tell if they’re truly in love. They all decide to teach Bob a lesson by having Patricia pose as a jilted lover on whom he’d pulled the same ruse, and show up at the house claiming that they are engaged. Bob becomes frantic when Pat holds him to his promise, and all of his friends encourage their union. Bob eventually flees home and boards a plane to Mexico City… on which he encounters stewardess Pat and realizes that she and Paul pulled a fast one on him. 8/2/18

SEASON 5

  • 136. Bob and Schultzy Reunite – 9/23/1958
    • Schultzy takes a job at a missile factory in hopes of meeting an eligible bachelor, while Bob tries to break in his dumb-but-attractive new secretary Marian Billington (Barbara Nichols), who proves to be completely incompetent on her first day. Meanwhile Schultzy has to fight off the advances of her co-worker Steve (Steven Marlo), so she tells him that Bob is her boyfriend. Shultzy visits Bob at home, and neither one wants to admit that they’re unhappy with their current situation. Bob finally has enough with Marian and fires her, just as Shultzy comes over to warn Bob that Steve is on his way over to beat him up. Bob gets assistants Bill (Bill Baldwin), Frank (Mike Road), and Mildred (Kathleen Hughes) to help convince Steve that Bob is a boxer known as Killer Collins. Steve ends up fleeing and rips the door right off the hinges on his way out, causing Bob to faint dead away. Jack Holland is Mr. Williams. 10/11/17
  • 137. Bob and the Dumb Blonde – 9/23/1958
    • Bob has been working with a model from London named Patricia Mason (Lisa Davis) and tries desperately to connect with her. When she mentions how lonely she is living alone, he tells her that he too spends his evenings with his head buried in a book and is desperate for love. Meanwhile, Schultzy looks forward to her old sailor boyfriend Frank Crenshaw (Dick Wesson) docking after many months at sea, at which time he will make his decision on whether to re-up with the Navy or settle down to domestic life. Margaret doesn’t think it is a good idea to have Frank meet her at Bob’s office with all of the girls around to distract him, so she grabs Marian Billington, who Bob had previously fired, to fill in for Schultzy for a bit. Just as Bob is getting ready to seal the deal with Patricia, Marian comes into the studio and starts hanging all over Bob, immediately turning off Patricia. Frank has already seen Marian and has become distracted by her and shows no interest in Schultzy. Bob is furious when he finds out that Margaret has hired Marian and tries to give her ten dollars to leave, but she thinks he is giving her money to stay. Margaret and Schultzy finally get Frank to come back to Bob’s house to fill him with Schultzy’s food. Frank tells them that he’d like to take in a burlesque show and is otherwise distracted by the mention of any other girl. When Bob arrives home, Margaret agrees to talk to Patricia and get Bob back in her good graces, if he will talk to Frank and convince him to settle down with Schultzy. Bob takes Frank to his office, where Frank can’t stop staring at the model Bob is working with. He tries to convince him that true happiness lies in marriage, but it is hard for Bob to convince him, when he sees Bob’s model Harriet Wyle (Dorothy Johnson) kissing him and telling him that the previous night was wonderful. Bob tells Frank that although he runs around with lots of women, his heart has been broken by one particular girl named Marian Billington. He tells Frank not to let Schultzy to go like he let his girl go. Bob goes back to work with Harriet, while Frank calls Schultzy. Marian then comes back into the office looking for her ten-dollar bill. However, when Frank realizes that the girl is Marian, he tells her how much Bob is in love with her. Margaret and Schultzy then return with Patricia, who is ready to forgive Bob, but once again finds Marian hanging all over Bob and kissing him. She storms out once again, leaving Bob trying to convince her that this whole thing had been one big joke. Henry Kulky is the wrestler who Marian throws to the ground. 10/31/23
  • 140. Bob Restores Male Supremacy – 10/21/1858
    • Bob is taking photos of his godson Tommy Helm (Richard Correll), son of his friend Harvey, when Bob notices that the boy only listens to his mother Ruthie. He plans to try and pivot Tommy’s perception of women and authority by having him and his father come spend the weekend at his house. Bob has forgotten that he also invited his old Army buddy Paul Fonda (Lyle Talbot) to spend the weekend with the so the can go out carousing for women. Bob asks Paul to come over for a ‘surprise’, but the surprise is not women, but rather the fact that they are going to pretend that Harvey is an Army Lieutenant and that he will have authority over Bob and Paul, hoping this will impress his son into respecting him. Although Harvey is initially reluctant, he finally agrees. Then he begins to get carried away and forces Bob and Harvey to make them dinner, and then insists that they not sit with them while Tommy and Harvey eat their burgers. With a kitchen full of dishes, Bob summons Chuck to help clean up everything. The plan seems to work, and Tommy thinks they are all afraid of Harvey. Bob then calls Ruth, and makes it sound as if they are partying with a lot of women, so she drops everything to head their way. 7/9/21
  • 141. Bob and the Ravishing Realtor – 10/28/1958
    • When Margaret tells Bob that a real estate agent is coming over to appraise the value of the house, Bob is dead set against selling it. However when he meets the gorgeous agent Janice Tuttle (Elena Verdugo), he quickly goes into wolf mode and pretends that he has every intention of selling it. When she won’t take the bait to join him in drinking some champagne, he spikes the root beer. She catches on immediately and will only drink when he does… but in actuality she is pouring hers into a plant. Soon he is drunk and finds himself waking up in bed the next morning clutching the drink pitcher. Margaret tells him that he had signed off to give Janice exclusive rights to sell the house, and that she is downstairs with a Sam (Kevin Burke) and Hazel Drucker (Mimi Walters), a couple from Iowa looking to buy. Bob rigs his razor and sprinkles talcum powder on his floor and plays off to Mrs. Drucker that the house is riddled with termites, causing her to storm out of the deal. Janice arranges to have the house inspected by an exterminator, but Bob intercepts Harvey and has him pose as one, declaring the house infested. Since Bob naturally would need a new place to live, he offers to take Janice out for dinner and go for a night drive along Mulholland Drive to look for a place. Margaret clues her in that the whole termite scam was phony, but she already knows; she simply finds Bob attractive and is looking forward to going on a date with him. 4/29/20
  • 143. Bob in Orbit – 11/18/1958
    • On the morning after Bob takes Grandpa Josh to visit Nelson Field, Chuck recalls the events of Grandpa bombing the field with his vintage airplane.  Unbeknownst to Bob’s family or Schultzy, Brigadier General Frank Tallman (John Hoyt) holds Bob accountable for event and throws him in jail on the base. Bob protests that he hasn’t done anything wrong, but when he lights one of the General’s cigarettes, and is charged with arson for setting government property on file. Bob is taken back to his cell, and when he complains about the damp conditions, the General assigns him to dig a drainage ditch. When he complains about that, he is ordered to clean the General’s stables under the watchful eye of an air policeman (Robert Foulk). Bob tries to bribe him by setting him up with a model, but it only leads him to have to scrub the runway with a toothbrush, and then to replace the runway with a jackhammer. Bob’s bribe works better with the air Sergeant (Eddie Quillan), who lets him use the phone to call home, but Bob is caught by the General. Bob says he is fixing the phone, so the General then has him do further work on the phone system by sending him to the top of a phone pole, where is finally able to call Schutzie. Grandpa, who has been hanging out at the studios and photographing Bob’s models, gets on the line and threatens to bomb the field again. Margaret meets with General Shoop (Clarence A. Shoop), who reports that they found Grandpa’s plane and agrees to help free Bob. When Bob tells the General of the threat, he orders Bob to shoot Grandpa down. Bob attempts this, but winds up shooting down General Shoop instead, and is then ordered to go back up in the sky where this time he will be the sitting duck. Grandpa, not satisfied with the baggy clothes the models are given wear, has them dress in swimsuits and hold the clothes next to them. 11/21/20
  • 144. Bob Becomes a Stage Uncle – 11/25/1958
    • Chuck wakes Bob early one morning while rehearsing his music in his room, causing Bob to nearly have a meltdown and carry on how horrible Chuck is at singing.  He even ties up Chuck and shoves him in the closet so that Bob can eat breakfast in peace. This ticks off Margaret so bad that she puts shaving cream in Bob’s coffee. Chuck takes the hint from Bob and hires Jimmy “Brain” Lloyd to act as his agent.  However, Bob lures Jimmy away to act as his caddy on the golf course. Bob ends up so annoyed by Jimmy’s performance that he leaves Jimmy on the golf course and heads home…where he is forced to take Chuck to his audition. They come home with Chuck ties up again. When Jimmy returns to see Chuck, he tells him that he ended up caddying for “Ricky Nelson’s father” Ozzie Nelson (himself) for the back nine, and he has talked Ozzie into stopping by and listening to Chuck. When he shows up, Margaret and Schultzy are dumbfounded. Ozzie is thrilled to sign an autograph for Schultzy, and she even gives him two pages in her autograph book… one for David and one for Ricky. Margaret talks to Ozzie about how much Bob discourages Chuck from pursuing his music, so Ozzie tries to come up with a plan to change his tune. Ozzie pretends to agree with Bob about how bad of a singer Chuck is, and then tells him that it is likely that since talent is usually inhe4rited, that it is obvious that Chuck’s family must have no talent whatsoever. Bob gets defensive, and suddenly becomes defensive of Chuck and decides to help him pass the audition after all, making Ozzie’s plan a complete success. 1/5/22
  • 145. Bob Butters Beck, Beck Butters Better – 12/2/1958
    • Margaret and Chuck interrupt Bob while he is photographing models on a tractor, to ask if Bob might have any ideas on how to promote a record sing that Chuck created called “Pretty Baby-o, Say Maybe-o, Daddy-o, on the Patio Tonight ” backed with “Launchy Raunchy Rocket, Take My Haunchy Raunchy Baby into Upper Outer Orbit with Me”. Bob blows him off, but later George Burns (himself) stops by Bob’s office to have him photograph a royalty check for $27,000 that he is picking up for his son Ronnie’s single. Bob has a change of heart and thinks that Chuck may have a real money-maker. They get the idea to enlist the help of disc jockey Fred Beck (himself) to promote the single by getting Bob’s models to hit on him. Bob initially doesn’t think that the homely Fred will fall for it, but Margaret and Chuck use their own flattering to convince him. Bob calls Fred to his office to photograph him and bring out more of his magnetism that is missing from his portrait in the newspaper. While there, Fred is flirted with by models Peggy Davis (Lisa Davis) and Gwendolyn (Suzanne Lloyd), both of whom sing the praises of the new song by Chuck McDonald. Fred has never heard of it, but Peggy gives Fred her address so he can borrow it. It works like a charm, and Fred spins the record multiple times. Bob gets into a pickle though when both Peggy and Gwendolyn demand that he take them driving that night. Bob devises a plan to have Fred go with them, but since there is a large case in the front seat that supposedly had to be delivered, Bob and Peggy wind up in the back while Fred drives. Then when they pick up Gwen, ostensibly as Fred’s date, both ladies have to sit in the back with Bob. Fred compliments Bob on his singing as he croons for the girls, but convinces him that the wind is carrying his voice backward and he can’t quite hear it. Convincing Bob that he thinks he should cut a record, Bob is all too happy to drive so that Fred can hear his voice, while Fred knowingly enjoys having both ladies on his arms. 11/22/20
  • 146. Collins the Crooner – 12/9/1958
    • Fred Beck lets it leak to Louella Parsons that Bob is going to record a record, and she prints it in her gossip column. Immediately he gets an offer from his office neighbor agent Taft Schreiber (Walter Woolf King) to represent him. Bob has no interest in making a record, but continues to get offers from Harvey to do a promotional tie-in, and from Schultzy and her friends Bertha Krause and Martha Randolph to act as his background singers the Bob-O-Links. Even Pamela wants to get on the act by having her collection of birds be his background singers. Bob goes home and tells Margaret about his crazy offers, and she finds it hysterical, laughing to the point of irritating Bob. He then finds out from Harvey that Schreiber had gone with Chuck instead, and he has formed the band Chuck and the Chicks – using Schultzy, Bertha, and Martha as well. An irritated Bob starts to claim that all of his ideas for recording had been stolen, and when he sees Chuck and the Chicks perform in the office, he tries to break Schultz’ys steel ukulele over his knee and hurts himself. When Pamela keeps pestering him with her birds, Bob sends her to audition for Schreiber, and Bob returns to working with his model/current girlfriend Peggy. Schreiber begs Bob to get rid of Pamela, and come and record with him. Peggy says he always sounds great when Bob croons to her on Mulholland Drive when they go on dates, so they bring the recording devices on a date with Bob and Peggy and record him singing. The Bob-O-Links try to remain in the act, and now have Pamela as a member… so they drive off to another location, leaving the ladies behind. 3/13/21
  • 147. Bob Judges a Beauty Pageant – 12/16/1958
    • Bob thinks he is going to be chosen to judge an Air Force beauty pageant and heads off to work where he encounters Martha and a group of friends fawning over photos of Peter Lawford that Bob had recently taken. At first thinking they are swooning over him, Bob throws them out when he finds out it’s Lawford they’re after. Martha then parades her boyfriend Roscoe Dewitt (Sidney Miller) in front of Bob, who he wants to regale with his celebrity impressions. Then he must deal with Pamela, who wants to take Bob to the beach. Once General Patterson (Robert Burton) arrives, he tells Bob that he wants Peter Lawford to judge the pageant, so Bob tells the General that Pamela was a model that Lawford had once chosen. The General wants to then choose Bob to be the judge, but he is afraid that his wife Florence (Madge Blake) will still want Lawford. Bob calls in Mrs. Patterson and slathers her with compliments, and then has Roscoe pose as Lawford, indicating that its only makeup that makes Lawford handsome. She decides that she now wants Bob to judge the pageant… even when the real Peter Lawford (himself) shows up and still doesn’t live up to Mrs. Patterson’s expectations. 10/11/17
  • 148. Bob Plays Margaret’s Game – 12/23/1958
    • Margaret is initially happy when she finds out that Bob has been tutoring Chuck, but quickly finds out that he is merely giving Chuck advice on how to handle women. She feels that Bob is a bad influence, particularly when he blows off a model named Gwendolyn (Anne Neyland) by telling her that he is moving to Turkey. When Bob pushes back against Margaret, she gets revenge by clearing the house of all food and pretending to hire a gigolo named Pierre – who is actually Schultzy in disguise. Bob also bribes Chuck to leave him alone with his date Doris Monroe (Barbara Lang), who is hungry and grumpy. Bob tries to order out from the Brown Derby, but when the waiter (Benny Rubin) delivers the food, Bob realizes that his credit card is in the jacket that Chuck has. Bob is forced to serve Doris geraniums for dinner, and when she finds out, she knocks him out with the empty pot. The next morning Margaret blackmails Bob for $50 to go out with ‘Pierre’ again under threat of telling Gwen that Bob didn’t move to Turkey. Chuck finds out that Pierre is actually Schultzy and for the price of loaning him his car and jacket again, tells Bob what is going on. Bob brings Doris back over to double date with Margaret and ‘Pierre.’ However when Pierre arrives, Bob is confused because Schultzy comes down the stairs. They all take off in the car, leaving Doris and Bob behind again… with a starving Doris attacking Bob with a fireplace log. This time ‘Pierre’ turns out to be Chuck, who gets a $20 reward for tipping them off. 2/4/19
  • 149. Grandpa Moves West – 12/30/1958
    • Margaret gets wind that Grandpa has moved a young female acrobat named Alice into his house, and Bob fears that she will take advantage of him and rob him blind, so he plans to fly out to Joplin and kick the girl out of his house. In reality, the young woman is actually a monkey from the circus. Since Bob is scheduled to take photos of the women of the United Nations, he assigns Schultzy to find a substitute photographer. Chuck has his own idea to pretend to be a photographer and fill in, but he is caught by Bob’s friend Paul Fonda, who has his own idea to do the same. Bob decides to postpone the trip when he meets Miss Holland, a lovely model named Gretchen (Joan Tabor). However when Bob calls Grandpa to check on him, his wild tales of Alice make Bob think she is a drunkard, so he again decides to leave and bring him back to California. Before he can do anything to stop it, Paul goes in pursuit to win over Gretchen. Margaret doesn’t think Bob will get anywhere trying force Grandpa to move back home, so she uses reverse psychology and calls Grandpa and tells him that the girls are all asking for him, and Bob is flying out to make sure that he doesn’t come home. Grandpa then takes off in his own plane to head to California, while he puts sleeping powders in some bananas for Alice and leaves her in the car, getting a message to his friend to come drive her to California to meet him. When Bob arrives, Grandpa has already left, so he takes Grandpa’s car to the airport. Unbeknownst to him, Alice boards the plane, and Bob eats some of the bananas. As he is flying home, he nearly falls asleep, then sees Alice when she makes her appearance in the cockpit. Bob lands and gets a motel, convincing the hotel manager (Charles Cantor) and his wife (Isabel Withers) that Alice is his daughter. Later Bob finally arrives back home with Alice, only to find that Paul has set himself up with a date with Gretchen. Bob manages to convince Paul that Alice is a beautiful model, so Paul calls off the date with Gretchen and tells her to go out with Bob instead. Bob heads out the door, as Paul meets – and is attacked by – Alice. Murray Alper is the cab driver.  3/13/21
  • 150. Boyhood Love Image – 1/6/1958
    • A Justice of the Peace (Edward Earle) performs the wedding ceremony of Schultzy and Bob, but it just turns out to be another dream of Schultzy’s while she is draped over her typewriter at work. When Martha wakes her up, Schultzy tells her that Bob is going to be proposing to her soon because she now knows the key to his heart through psychology. She believes that boys establish the type of women they will love by the childhood love interests that they have as children. She calls Margaret and asks her if she can look through their old photo albums in order to determine the girls of Bob’s subconscious mind. Meanwhile, Margaret is trying to convince Chuck to get a nest of swallows out of the chimney so they can have fires in the fireplace again. Chuck is doing everything he can to get out of it including feigning a back injury. Margaret keeps seeing through his ruses and sends him right back to the chimney. However, as Margaret looks through the photo albums and sees photos of Chuck as a baby, she takes pity and tells him to stop working in the chimney and that she will make Bob do it. Schultzy finds an early photo of Bob with a little Southern Belle from New Orleans named Clarabelle, to whom young Bab gave his marbles, scooter, and pet frog. Bob is at work trying to convince the model Lola (Barbara Darrow) that he was merely giving Harriet Wyle mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, and that she’s the only girl for him. Schultzy shows up dressed in her Southern Belle outfit and tries to seduce Bob while he’s under the camera. She winds up getting thrown out, so she returns to the photo album, and this time finds a photo of Bob with a tomboy he used to fight with. While Bob is trying to solidify a date with Shirley Swanson after she saw him with his arms around a model with a sarong. Bob tries to convince her that the girl was her sister, but it becomes difficult when Margaret shows up. Margaret goes along with his story as long as he agrees to get the swallows out of the chimney. Schultzy then shows up trying to box with Bob and offering to do roughhouse play including climbing and sports. Bob agrees that he remembers a girl like that from his past, and he invites Schultzy over for the evening. However, he only wants her there to climb the chimney and retrieve the swallows’ nest. He then sends her on her way and welcomes Shirley over for dinner by fireside. The chimney then starts to bellow out smoke, mostly because Schultzy has climbed onto the roof and is blocking the chimney. NOTE: Bob’s real-life wife Mary Cummings does the commercials for Nutra-Bio Protein during this episode. 12/29/22
  • 157. Bob and Automation – 2/25/1958
    • Bob has added an IBM machine to his business that serves as a statistical sorter. Since Margaret has contributed to help pay for item, meaning that Chuck’s allowance was cut to help financially, they insist that Schultzy show the how it works. They then find out that the machine is meant to organize Bob’s dates, but he claims that each woman in there is a model. They read over the card of one model named Millie Davis (Angie Dickinson) and it lists her favorite foods and music. Bob still claims that by knowing her inside and out will help him photograph her with sensitivity. Schultzy then tells Bob in front of Margaret and Chuck that Bob has a ‘sitting’ with him that night. As Margaret and Chuck struggle to keep eating hot dogs and sauerkraut in order to cut the household budget, Bob heads out to ‘work’ with Millie. When Margaret tells Bob that she will call him later at the studio, Bob manages to set up a romantic evening at the studio, bringing in her favorite foods Maine lobster and Vichyssoise, playing the classical music of Tchaikovsky and a recording of Bob reading poetry. As Milie is taken in by Bob’s romance, Schultzy and Margaret sneak in with some of their own supplies. As the evening goes on, the two ladies keep switching out Bob’s wine with water. Then they swap the lobsters with wieners and sauerkraut. Bob then discovers that Margaret is behind the joke, and she marches in and tells Bob that he’s supposed to be photographing her and furthermore reveals what the computer sorter is used for. Millie clamps one of the lobsters on Bob’s nose and then marches out. The next morning, Chuck offers to give his fellow college students referrals to have Bob photograph them in exchange for a commission. He also asks for very specific raises and insurance in a fully detailed contract. Bob makes plans to ‘photograph’ a model named Janice Tuttle (Laurie Anders) that night as well, but Chuck has arranged for the college basketball team to come for pictures. Bob brings Janice to the office that night so that he can photograph the basketball team. Janice is hungry and not happy with the idea. When they enter the studio they find not only the basketball team, but an entire room full of customers that Chuck and Margaret have recruited, including a baby named Laurel Ann Conway and her mother (Ruth Brady). Janice decides she doesn’t want to hang around and storms out of the rooms. Bob, who is now holding the baby, asks for someone to kiss her neck, so the basketball team goes after her. Kathleen Hughes is Mary, the girl who calls Bob the doctor. 2/17/24 (online)

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