The Terrible Catsafterme

SEASON 1 – NBC

Created by Andy Borowitz and Susan Borowitz.

Opening song: “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air” performed by Will “The Fresh Prince” Smith

• 001. Pilot (aka The Fresh Prince Project) – 9/10/1990
  • Inner city wannabe rapper Will “The Fresh Prince” Smith (himself) is transported from his hometown in Philadelphia, where his mother deems it too unsafe for him, to live with her sister Vivian (Janet Hubert-Whitten) and her stuffy lawyer husband Philip (James Avery), and their three children the stuffy Carlton (Alfonso Ribeiro), the spoiled snobbish Hilary (Karyn Parsons), and grade-schooler Ashley (Tatyana M. Ali), in Bel-Air, Los Angeles, California. From the moment Will meets the butler Geoffrey Butler (Joseph Marcell), he is like a fish out of water, that meets the contempt of his Uncle Philip right away, while his Aunt Vivian seems sympathetic and tries to remind Phil that he was young once too. The only one of his cousins that he connects with is young Ashley who he teaches to rap. When the Banks host an elite dinner party for Phil’s lawyer associates, Will shows up only partially dressed formal, still wearing his trademark hat and acting inappropriately. This is also exacerbated when Ashley raps when asked to say Grace. After the party ends, Uncle Phil blasts him for his behavior, while Will accuses him of losing sight of his own roots on the streets. Phil counters by telling him that he had experienced extreme racial prejudice and has forgotten nothing. After the finish talking, Phil is impressed to hear Will playing Greensleeves on the piano, and Will privately tells Ashley that her father’s strictness purely comes from his love for her. Helen Page Camp is Margaret Furth. John Petlock is Henry Furth. 12/15/16

• 002. Bang the Drum, Ashley – 9/17/1990
  • Uncle Phil assigns Will to drive Ashley and her friends to their orchestra practice with Madame Chatchka (Bette Ford) in the station wagon on Wednesdays. Will encourages Ashley to follow her own passions instead of her father and talks Ashley into pawning her violin and taking up the drums, much to utter irritation of Uncle Phil, who is already suffering from a massive headache because of all of the noise happening at his office from painters. Phil explains that he loved classical musical and wants the best for Ashley, while Vivian encourages him to allow Ashley to study whatever instrument she wants. Will hires his rapper friend Jazz (D.J. Jazzy Jeff) to be Ashley’s drum teacher. The noise disrupts the family high tea, and when Jazz starts scratching the record, Phil physically throws him out, and yells at Will for taking over Ashley’s plans. Ashley admits that she actually doesn’t like the violin or the drums, causing her mother to tell her that she doesn’t need to please her father or Will. Ashley responds by telling her mother that she wants to quit ballet as well. 12/15/16
• 003. Clubba Hubba – 9/24/1990
  • Will spots a girl named Mimi Mumford (Victoria Rowell) whom he’d like to get to know, but Carlton warns him that her father, whom they’ve dubbed ‘Dr. No’ (Richard Roundtree) due to his turning down of every one of Mimi’s suitors, will not let him have a chance. Will takes coaching from Carlton and Uncle Phil on how to be a gentleman and actually is able to win over Dr. No. However Mimi refuses Will’s advances as ‘Kip Smithers from Connecticut’ telling him that she wants a boy from the streets. Will then goes to opposite end of the spectrum and portrays an ex-con to her, all the while balancing his nerdy act for Dr. No. Eventually he tires of the whole charade when he is caught between them playing both parts, and decides to just pursue another sexy girl (Tatiana Thumbtzen)…but ends up getting punched by her husband. Lisa Fuller is Hilary’s friend Toni. Garon Grigsby is Skip Nesbitt. John Towey is the country club official. 1/14/17
• 004. Not with My Pig, You Don’t – 10/1/1990
  • Uncle Phil is excited that he will be receiving the Urban Spirit Award and has his parents Joe (Gilbert Lewis) and Hattie (Virginia Capers) visit from Yamacraw, North Carolina. Willis fascinated by their stories about Young Phil, who was a pig farmer with a pet pig named Melvin. Reporter Susan Klein (Kathy Griffin) comes to do an interview for the LA Press on Phil, but quickly becomes bored with by-rote stories from the family about Phil’s rise to success. When Will overhears her phoning the paper telling them that she might kill the story, Will tells her the stories of Phil’s youth. Phil is appalled when the stories get printed in the paper, and his parents are angered at him for being ashamed of his roots. At the awards ceremony, the family shares an uncomfortable silence and Hattie brings her own southern food to eat. Phil retreats to the bathroom where Will tries to explain that the stories are endearing and don’t make him look stupid. Phil acknowledges that ‘parents just don’t understand’ and gives a nice speech honoring them. Jim Mapp is Art. David Downing is the awards presenter. Jeff Hayenga is the waiter. 1/14/17
• 005. Homeboy, Sweet Homeboy – 10/8/1990
  • With Will homesick, Vivian agrees to fly out one of Will’s best friends Ice Tray (Don Cheadle) from Philadelphia. Although Phil and Carlton aren’t too thrilled with him, Ice Tray does encourage Will to appreciate his living situation. When Ice Tray and Hilary meet each other for the first time, they hit it off so well that they fly into an immediate kiss, much to the worry of Vivian. Their relationship blossoms quickly, and Will tries to convince Vivian that he’s a good guy. She tries to go along but when during a nice dinner, Ice Tray tells Vivian that they got married, Viv has a meltdown and tells her that she’s ruined her life. Ice Tray is able to laugh it off, but Will is offended that she is so put off by his friend… who is exactly who Will once was. Viv expresses that she’s only concerned by Tray because he didn’t seem to try and do anything with his life. They all bid him a farewell as he heads home and Viv stresses that he take care of himself. 4/18/17
• 006. Mistaken Identity – 10/15/1990
  • Phil and Viv head to Palms Springs for a weekend with friends watching football, and since they end up traveling in the Furths’ helicopter, they agree to let Carlton drive down in the Furths’ Mercedes. Told that he wasn’t invited on the trip, Will sneaks in the car and joins Carlton for the drive, but the two get pulled over for driving two miles an hour when they become lost. The sergeant (Dan Desmond) and his officer (Hanz Azaria) think that the boys have stolen the car and despite their protests, they are thrown into the slammer with a singing prisoner named Bob (Raymond McLeod). When they can’t get hold of Mr. Furth or Uncle Phil, they get newscaster Steve Goddard (Anthony Auer) to broadcast their interview and interrupt the football game. This gets Mr. Furth and Uncle Phil to the station immediately where Phil’s threats of legal action get them released immediately. While Carlton feels that their arrest was justified, both Will and Phil believe it was because they were black, leaving Carlton to question his belief about the system. Donald Grant is a lawyer. 4/18/17 
• 007. Def Poet’s Society – 10/22/1990
  • Uncle Phil tells Will that he either needs to join an after-school club or get a job. Will decides to look for a club, and is considerably more excited when he finds out that the extra-curricular activities are combined with their sister school. He follows some beautiful girls into the poetry club led by a beautiful leader named Christina Johnson (A.J. Johnson) and hipster Ned Fellows (Jonathan Emerson). Will performs a street poem he makes up on the spot he calls Tick Tock Clock that he claims is written by a street poet named Rafael de la Ghetto, which impresses all of the girls. Christina visits Will and requests that he bring Rafael to the club and read the poetry, and when she lays a big kiss on him, he can’t refuse. Will turns to Jazz to get someone to pose as Rafael and come to the school, which becomes a social event that even Hilary and Toni attend. The phony poet doesn’t show up, so Geoffrey steps in with a giant afro and reads the poetry so that Will doesn’t let down Christina. It goes over great as first but then Hilary and Christina recognize Geoffrey. Jazz then poses as the real de la ghetto, and winds up on a date with Christina himself. Laurel Moglen is Elizabeth. 12/19/17
• 008 & 009. Someday Your Prince Will Be in Effect – 10/29/1990
  • Hilary is getting ready for her annual Halloween party, but makes it clear that she doesn’t want Will or Carlton to attend since they always hit on her friends. Vivian makes it clear that everyone in the family are welcome, but also that the boys should have dates. The entire family heads to the mall, where Will and Carlton make a bet about who can secure a date first. The boys stop at Croissants Aplenty and meet the waitress Cindy (Tyler Collins) and tell her about their bet, but she seems to have no interest in either of them and their cocky attitudes. Meanwhile Uncle Phil skips out on costume shopping and winds up in a gadgets store where he tells the salesman (Kelly Connell) through flashback about the time Will traded in Ashley’s violin for drums (Bang the Drum, Ashley). Vivian gets lured into the Record-a-Song booth by aggressive salesman Ramone (Jay R. Goldenberg), I’ll Never Fall in Love Again, then gets hooked and winds up entertaining a big crowd in the mall. Carlton strikes out with a pen salesgirl (Patricia Clipper) when he squirts ink on her, while Will makes a fool of himself by joining some dancers onstage while trying to impress a girl named Nina (DeEdyre J. Burks). Hilary chats with her friend Shauna (Kimberly Newberry) and tells her how Will once ruined a dinner party at their house (Pilot). As Will and Carlton continue to strike out with women, they both happen upon a girl named Melinda (Paris Vaughan) and they vie for her affections by telling tales about themselves and each other. Will tells her about how well he treats his grandmother (Not with My Pig, You Don’t), but Carlton talks about Will hijacking his trip to Palm Springs and gets them both arrested (Mistaken Identity). He also fabricates a story about how poorly treats his date Cheryl (Gina Ravera) when facing a thug (Samm-Art Williams), while Carlton beats him and his friend up. Will counters by telling tales about visits with his celebrity friends Bo Jackson (himself), Heavy D (himself), Malcolm Jamal-Warner (himself), Quincy Jones (himself), Al B. Sure! (himself), and Kadeem Hardison (himself). Melinda finds them both equally appealing but ultimately chooses Carlton since she is more attracted to him. While she and Hilary are shopping for costumes, Ashley accidentally walks out of the store wearing her derby hat, which she has picked up for her Charlie Chaplin costume. Hilary is arrested when the security guard Eugene (Tim Russ) mistakes her for a frequent shoplifter he’s been targeting. Uncle Phil has to break up the chaos when Vivian has whipped the whole mall into a frenzy with her rendition of Proud Mary. Will returns to Croissants Aplenty and tells Cindy his woes, and she ends up showing up at the party to be his date. It also turns out that Melinda is the shoplifter that Eugene had been tracking, and he catches her in the act stealing from the Banks house. Cindy has to flee at midnight, giving her multiple parallels to Cinderella. Will tells a group of trick-or-treaters (Anastasia N. Ali, among them) scary rhyming Halloween story. 8/17/18
• 010. Kiss My Butler – 11/5/1990
  • It’s Geoffrey’s birthday and family decides to wait on him and do his chores. Will decides to go one step further and sets Geoffrey with a date, but he and Jazz have no luck searching for a girl at the mall. Ashley suggests her friend Samantha’s British nanny Helen Carter (Naomi Campbell) as a date to go dancing with Geoffrey. Will thinks she will be the perfect boring candidate for Geoffrey and gives him some tips on how to be ‘cooler’ on the dance floor. However when Will sees how beautiful Helen is, he wants her for himself and assumes that she will be turned off by Geoffrey’s stodginess. Will tries to cut in on Geoffrey on the dance floor to ‘pick up the pieces’ of Geoffrey’s awkwardness, but it backfires and he looks foolish and gets thrown out. Geoffrey proves to be the hit of the club, and when he gets home Will apologizes for his behavior. Geoffrey gives Will a lecture on making assumptions about people, and the admits that he was mismatched with Helen because he is too sophisticated for her. He gives Will Helen’s number and tells him she is expecting her call. Having learned his lesson, he tosses Geoffrey aside to get to the phone. 12/19/17
• 011. Courting Disaster – 11/12/1990
  • Will and Jazz are looking for a place to play basketball, so Uncle Phil suggests he go down to Bel-Air Academy where Carlton’s utterly uncoordinated basketball team is practicing. While there, Headmaster William Thorvald (William Cort) introduces Coach Herb Smiley (Dave Florek) to an alumni Barry O’Donnell (Ron Perkins) who is thinking of donating money for a new gym. In order to improve the team, the coach pleads with Will to join the team. During the first game, they destroy the competition with Will leading the charge, leaving Carlton to feel inferior. Meanwhile Uncle Phil is finding common ground with a cocky Will and is proud of Will for becoming a superstar on the court. In the next game, Will dominates and showboats, but during the final moments of the game which requires Will’s team to make a three-point shot, Carlton wrestles the ball away from Will and misses the shot, costing them the game. Phil lectures both boys about not playing as a team. He also tells Carlton that he supports him on on his other endeavors, but that Will needs his support as well. Other team members include Jonathan Cartwell (Keith Bogart), Chadney Hunt (Michael Landes), and Kellogg Lieberbaum (Michael Weiner). Isaiah Thomas appears as himself in Will’s dream. 4/21/19
• 012. Talking Turkey – 11/19/1990
  • Will’s mother Viola “Vy” (Vernee Watson) flies in to visit the family for Thanksgiving. Upon seeing how Will is bossing around Geoffrey, she starts telling Will that he needs to pull his weight around the house, and she also sends home the gardener Jesse (Israel Jurabe) and insists that Will cut the grass. Vy tells Vivian that Will is becoming spoiled like her children and she doesn’t like to see him getting a free ride. Uncle Phil agrees that the kids are spoiled, so upon consideration, Vivian cancels the catered turkey dinner and insists that the kids make the dinner themselves. Most things turn out to be a disaster with burnt yams, watery stuffing, and cranberry sauce that has fallen onto the floor, which proves embarrassing since Carlton has invited his English teacher Ned Fellows over to share the dinner. The sisters laugh over the situation and decided to make dinner themselves, and straighten out their differences about how to raise Will. 4/21/19
• 013. Knowledge Is Power – 11/26/1990
  • When Hilary and Will want to use the car on the same night, Hilary resorts to telling on Will for coming home at 3am the night before, renting the car to Jazz, and bribing Ashley into doing his chores, causing Will to get grounded for one month. Hungry for revenge, Will overhears Hilary planning to skip school with her friend Toni to go shopping. When Will attempts to visit Toni’s room on campus to confront Hilary, he meets up with Toni’s roommates Kimmy (Sarah Buxton) and Cindy (Beverly Jackson), who inform Will that Hilary dropped out of school three months ago. With this information, he is able to blackmail her into being his slave during the duration of his grounding, even forcing her to hand wash his favorite boxers. Hilary turns to Carlton to help since she knows he hates Will, but it backfires when Carlton also sees it as an opportunity to get Hilary to bend to his every whim. During a dinner in which Will forces her to say nice things about him and bark like a dog, and Carlton forces her to say nasty thing about Will and slap in the head, she reaches her limit and finally breaks down and confesses that she left school. Her parents are disappointed but feel they may have been pushing her to do what they want rather than what she wants. They respect her decision, but tell her that she needs to get a job. They also add another month of grounding to Will’s sentence and give Carlton a month as well. Will and Carlton apologize to Hilary, and Will tells her that he never would have revealed her secret. They make amends, even though Hilary has ruined Will’s favorite underwear with an iron burn. 2/3/20
• 014. Day Damn One – 12/3/1990
  • Ashley is having a slumber party with her friends Sasha (Ashley Bank), Courtney (Nichole Francois), and others, and they ask Will to tell them a scary story. He relates the autobiographical tale of Wilbert Smithsonian via flashback, detailing his arrival at the Bel-Air Academy private school. Carlton introduces him to fellow haughty students Chadney Hunt, Simon Stanhope (Patrick Van Horn), and teacher Edward Fellows III. Will is immediately horrified to hear Carlton’s glee club the Alligaroos, and more so, when he finds out that it is an all-boys school. During his first class he runs afoul of Dr. B. Langford Oates (James Tolkan), which the boys shorten to Dr. Bloat, when he arrives late wearing a tie on his head. He then meets the ultra-white Kellogg Lieberbaum, who tries his best to express his inner blackness. Carlton tries to warn Will that his lackadaisical attitude is rubbing people the wrong way, but this is not consistent with the admiration and number of invites he seems to be receiving. On top of the world, he carves the name FRESH into the desk that the founders had all carved, which the school keeps on display. Uncle Phil and Aunt Vivian are very proud of Will, but then Carlton announces that the desk tragedy has been uncovered and they realize that Will did it. Carlton wants him to confess but Will refuses. When he falls asleep in class, he dreams that Dr. Bloat shoots him for the crime. And when he wakes up, Carlton actually does turn him in, and Will is faced with a trial of his peers. Carton and Fellows try to defend him by saying he has not been socialized to the ways of the Academy. Many of the students join in defending him saying that he is making the school better. Will’s punishment is ultimately to work kitchen duty to pay for repairing the desk. Will berates Carlton for ratting him out, but Carlton says that he is only trying to reel him into societal order. Will lets him know that he has no interest in being friends with Carlton’s friends, while Geoffrey finds Will’s punishment hilarious. Ashley and her friends figure out that Willis in fact Wilbert Smithsonian. 2/4/20
• 015. Deck the Halls – 12/10/1990
  • With Christmas approaching Carlton returns home from school and gets the Alligaroos  (Brian Jay, Larry Jones, Mark Morales) to sing for charity, Hilary sends gifts to her famous friends, and Ashley is depressed because her friends always go out of town for the holidays. Will tries to cheer her up, but she has not Christmas spirit and doesn’t believe in Santa Claus. As Phil and Vivian head to an office party where Vivian will get to meet all of the ‘new’ wives, Will asks Vivian if he can cheer Ashley up by decorating the house themselves, instead of hiring someone else to do the decorating. She agrees so they head to the designer store to pick up the decorations that were to be delivered. Will finds them all to fancy and modernistic, so he tells the clerk Vic (Taylor Negron) that they will pick out their own decor. By the time Phil and Vivian return from their party, they find the house decorated from top to bottom inside and out. The neighbors begin to call and complain and Will winds up bickering with boxer Evander Holyfield (himself). Many of the neighbors storm the house and three of them, Mr. Uesato (Rodney Kageyama), Mrs. Lang (Shirley Mitchell), and Barton Grey (Richard Roat), are particularly vocal. Ashley sees how miserable the decorations have made everyone and decides to give up and take them down. Just then a group of carolers (Brittany Levenbrown, Everett Wong, Nicholas Rutherford, Jamie Openden, Vicki Wauchope, Darneicea Corley) led by neighbor Mark Driscoll (Michael Pniewski) and his son Kevin (Justin Shenkarow) come to the door singing, and tell them that were out looking at lights and they chose their house as the one to sing at because they had the best decorations. The carolers are invited in and Ashley tells everyone she is no longer willing to take down the lights. Everyone is in agreement except for Barton… until they get a visit from former President Ronald Reagan (John Roarke), who tells them how much he too enjoys the lights. Everyone gathers around the TV to watch Christmas commercials. Valerie Jones is caroler Lisa. 5/14/20
• 016. The Lucky Charm – 1/7/1991
  • Uncle Phil is getting ready to go golfing with his superstitious client Jameson Whitworth (Tom O’Rourke), but when Whitworth’s caddy cancels, he decides to ask Will to fill in. Will gives him some advice on the green which results in Whitworth getting a hole-in-one. Then Will advises him to skip out on an investment and enjoy the day with his wife. This also proves to be lucky as the stock he was going to buy ends up tanking. When Whitworth finds out that Will’s July 3, 1973 birthday correlates to his lucky numbers 7 and 3, Whitworth hires Will to look over his stocks and give him his feeling on what he should buy. Phil and Vivian think that Whitworth is crazy, and they send Will down to refuse to help with his purchases. But when he arrives and Whitworth finds out that Will is seventeen, he takes that to buy a million shares of stock that is sitting at $17 a share. It quickly goes up a dollar, yielding a million dollar profit. Will can now do not wrong, and so Whitworth buys him a fancy suit. Phil again tries to appeal to Whitworth’s common sense, but this time Whitworth fires Phil’s company as his lawyers. Phi brings his boss Henry Furth (John Petlock) and an underling named Peter Leonard (Sandy Frank) – which make their number three – to Whitworth’s office to grovel. During the visit, Whitworth’s new stocks crash, and he tries to take it out of Will. Uncle Phil steps in for Will and tells him that it is his crazy behavior that cost him, adding that he no longer wants to work for him. Whitworth is impressed that Phil stood up to him, and more impressed when he believes that Phil is a Capricorn, so he lures the law far back. Back home Hillary is impressed that Phil stood up to his boss, and promises to do the same to her boss at her new job at the gallery, because she is disgruntled that she has to pay federal taxes on her paycheck. Phil is reminded that he was born in late January so isn’t a Capricorn after all. Phil plans to bury that info, stating that for a $20 million account, he’ll be glad to be a Capricorn. Diane Racine is Wentworth’s secretary Gladys. 5/15/20
• 017. The Ethnic Tip – 1/14/1991
  • Coach Smiley is teaching an English class at Bel-Air Academy, and will gets an F on his paper, which needs to be signed by his Aunt and Uncle. He pretends he is doing handwriting analysis to get their signatures, but Carlton tells them about his F. Will blames it on the fact that the history class doesn’t teach much in the way of black history. Aunt Vivian suggest that he do something about that, so he goes to the school board and pleads his case to Assistant Headmaster Armstrong (Edward Edwards). When he claims that they have no one to teach it, Aunt Viv volunteers. Will is cocky in his class, having read The Autobiography of Malcolm X he thinks he knows it all. But right away Viv starts peeling back the layers of the slave spirituals which enlightens Will. Viv also assigns Will and Carlton to a special report on the Port Royal Experiment and the Penn School. Both of them start to resent having her as a teacher, and it is even worse when she embarasses them in front of a pair of cheerleaders (Monica Allison, Kyausha Simpson). The rest of the class is all white, and they are all enthralled and enthusiastic about the class, and even start a petition to keep Viv on permanently. When it becomes obvious to her that Will and Carlton are both reluctant to sign it, her feelings are clearly hurt and she tells the class that she doesn’t think the university would approve. Will and Carlton both apologize for hurting her feelings, but also say they believe she was too hard on them. Viv responds that she thought that since they were the only black kids in class that they might have more interest in the subject. She tells Will that he needs to explore more work than just Malcolm X, otherwise he is just trivializing the struggle. He begins to read the history book she gives him. 8/30/20 
• 018. The Young and the Restless – 1/21/1991
  • Uncle Phil brings Granny Hattie to the house to convalesce after having the flu, but the entire family has plans to keep her busy doing activities. Phil puts his foot down and tells her that she needs to stay on the couch under a blanket. Will tells her that he seldom listens to Phil’s advice and encourages her to ignore it as well. Next thing Phil sees is his mother cleaning the kitchen floors. He insists that she go take a nap while the family goes for a swim. Will finds her in the kitchen and plays her some Heavy D music since he plans to go to his concert that night with backstage passes. Phil catches her dancing in the kitchen and grounds him from going to the concert. Granny suggests that they sneak out and go to the show, so they put pillows in the bed and Will turns on his snoring cassette. The family figures out that they’re gone, so Phil and Carlton go to the show to retrieve them. After an altercation with a security guard (Greg Alan-Williams), Phil goes looking for Will and accidentally winds up on stage and is booed off. Back home, Phil tells his mother that he is concerned about her and wants her to live a long time. She tells him that in order for her to live, he needs to let her LIVE. Tom Holiday is the man who mistakes Granny for Ella Fitzgerald. Shaun Baker is the guy who is asked by Phil if he’s seen Will. 8/30/20
• 019. It Had to Be You – 2/4/1991
  • Jazz asks Will to take out his sister Janet (Vivica A. Fox) as a favor to him, but Will, having never met her, pictures her as a lookalike to Jazz and tries to avoid the date. But when Jazz brings Janet over, he changes his tune when he sees what a knockout she is. In fact, he has to bribe Jazz with the clothes he’s wearing to get him to agree to let Will take her out. Their first date starts out well, as will kisses all over her, she tells him that she sensed a real connection and considers him her man. However things quickly turn sour when she gets jealous that Will speaks to the waitress Gia (Carol-Ann Jeffers), followed by a litany of her laying down the law about how Will will behave, think, act, and eat. Will isn’t sure how to get out of the relationship, but he demands his clothes back from Jazz. He wants to just break it off, but Jazz suggest that he try and pawn her off on someone else. Carlton seems like a good victim, so they invite him to come out with everyone that night. Will spends the evening building up Carlton, which gets on her nerves and causes her to lash out at everyone, including the same waitress Gia. Carlton can stand no more of the rudeness, so he stands up to her and tells her that she is behaving terribly. This somehow turns her on, and she suddenly becomes subservient to him. Will is amazed and tells Phil how impressed he was with Carlton. Phil tries to say that he handled Aunt Vivian the same way, but she is standing behind him, so he begins to sing a different tune. Will tries the dominant act on Janet again, but it doesn’t work. Jazz tries it on Hillary, and seems to work on her… but she actually ends up tossing him out the front door. 12/14/20
• 020. Nice Lady – 2/11/1991
  • Geoffrey is excited to visit with his first employer Lord Fowler (William Glover) from England, and his daughter Lady Penelope (Sherrie Krenn aka Sherrie Austen), who are coming to the Banks residence before they all go out for dinner. Meanwhile Will is asking permission to borrow the car to go to a Ziggy Marley concert in Nevada, but Phil and Vivian don’t think he’s mature enough. They make a deal that if he can sure his maturity over the next week, they’ll let him go. Penelope wants to see the opera while the others go to dinner, and Will agrees to be her escort so he can prove himself responsible. As soon as everyone leaves, she shows her true colors and wants to go out clubbing at the most dangerous nightclub in town. Will is shocked and tells her he’s not taking her there, so she steals the car and heads there anyway. Will follows her where he meets her giant boyfriend of the night Otis (Tony Longo) and manages to get himself into a fight. When he gets home, everyone is back and bored to tears by Lord Fowlers maritime law stories. Geoffrey sneaks out with Will to go and try to retrieve her, but when they arrive, she has already left, leaving behind a broken-hearted Otis, who then gets in a fight with Geoffrey. They return home without Penelope and are about to tell the truth when Penelope strolls in. She lies and says that Will took her to the opera and she sent him home early because he looked tired, but makes him out to be the perfect responsible escort. In light of this, Uncle Phil says he can take the car to the concert. He then privately tells Will he knows she was lying and asks for the real scoop. But when Will says it will be a long story, a shell-shocked Uncle Phil calls it a night and tells him to enjoy the concert. William Upton is the bouncer. Melvin Jones is the tough guy. 12/14/20
• 021. Love at First Fight – 2/18/1991
  • Will and Carlton are lamenting their dry spell with women, when Aunt Vivian invites over one of her promising college students Kayla Samuels (Jasmine Guy). Will finds her attractive tries to impress her with his jokes, but she finds him immature and calls him out on it at dinner. When she comes back to meet Vivian the next day, Will apologizes to her, but then tells her that she’s stuck up. They wind up insulting each other until they’re driven into each other’s arms, and they begins dating. Two weeks later, Will visits Kayla at the dorm and helps  her study. Her roommate Pamela (Carol Barbee) stops by and invites them to go to a frat party, but Kayla declines and claims she’s never fit in at parties like that. When Kayla visits Will, Viv lectures her about skipping her last class. After she leaves, Viv tells Will that her grades are slipping and she is in danger of losing her scholarship, and advises Will to give her some time and space for her studies. Will is resistant but, she tells him her education could make the difference between running a hospital and cleaning one. Will and Kayla attend an English Literature party, and Will suggests that they leave so that Kayla can study. She gets angry with him and thinks that he is trying to blow her off, even though he tries to explain that he is only concerned about her future. Will goes to see her at her dorm, followed by Aunt Viv, and Kayla tells them how her entire family is counting on her as she is their last choice to have someone in the family educated, and she feels like she doesn’t fit in at the school. Viv admits that she dropped out of high school and had to work very hard to pick herself back up. They finally convince Kayla to return her focus to studying, and Will offers to do or not whatever will help her. Dell Yount is Dr. Kramer. 4/8/21
• 022. Banks Shot – 2/25/1991
  • Aunt Viv heads out of town for a lecture, and Hilary asks her if she can be put in charge of running the house. She does most of it while reading magazines on the couch, but has time to spoil Carlton’s date with Michelle (Michelle Simms) and give Ashley a hard time about going to a birthday party with a boy present. Will is told by Uncle Phil not to take the car to the pool hall, but Will, who thinks he is only trying to spoil his fun, has an internal conflict between himself and the two devils on his shoulder, and decides to go after all. The manager Gloria (Angela Gordon) gives him the table that the run-down Fred Lomax Jr. (Hugh Dane) is sleeping on, and Will takes on a small guy named Louie (Jeff Chayette), whom he beats at $5 a ball. This gives Will to move on to the big-time table and play Charlie Mack (J.D. Hall), this time at $20 a ball. By the time all is said and done, Will owes Mack $500, ten percent of which will go to Mack’s manager Louie. Since he only has $200 on him, he is forced to leave Uncle Phil’s Mercedes Benz as collateral. Fred accompanies Will home, where he tries to get the money from Hillary and Geoffrey, but Uncle Phil comes home from work and finds out what is going on. He and Geoffrey take Will down to the pool hall, where they threaten Gloria with legal action. No one takes him seriously and Mack tells Phil he’ll have to earn it back, by playing him in pool. Uncle Phil has never played before but accepts the challenge… and winds up losing another $100. Will tries to stop him, but he insists on playing again, only this time Mack demands that they play for $100 a ball. Phil suddenly has a fresh confidence, and Geoffrey whips out Phil’s pool cue. This time he takes Mack for $900. When Vivian comes home that night, Phil doesn’t tell her what Will did, instead deciding that he’ll settle it with Will on his own. He also tells Will that he only wanted to keep him out of pool halls because he grew up in them and knew the kind of trouble that happens there, for which Will is grateful. Will thanks Phil for getting his money back… to which Phil responds that he’ll have to play him for it. Hillary thinks she is now ready to be a mother… until Carlton and Ashley tell Aunt Viv that she ran things like a tyrant. Tanya Moore is the girl at the pool hall. 4/8/21
• 023. 72 Hours – 3/11/1991
  • When Will and Jazz see Carlton singing Brick House with the Aligaroos (now featuring Richard Gloria, Rodney Knoll, Jamy Woodbury), they start to make fun of him and tell him that he could never survive where Jazz lives in Compton. They bet that Carlton can’t spend two days in Compton, and if he can, Will has to stop making fun of him. They lie to Carlton’s parents that they are going on a field trip to the literary sites in San Francisco, so they can sneak over to Jazz’s place to spend the night. Carlton meets Jazz’s tough friends Tiny (“Tiny” Lister Jr.), Slick (Miguel Nunez), and Chuck (J’Vonne Pearson), who are instant bullies to him, despite Carlton trying to learn the street lingo. Will and Jazz go out for dinner, leaving Carlton behind. By the time they get back, Carlton has made friends with them all by advising them on how to sell their fake Gucci bags and then invest their money. He has picked up the lingo and is now dressing more appropriately. He tells Will that he plans to go out at night with the guys to sell bags in MacArthur Park. Will warns him how dangerous it is, but he won’t listen, so Will returns home to tell his parents the truth. Aunt Viv wants to go retrieve him, but Phil sends Will back to get him. Will makes up a story about Jeffrey being hurt to get him to come back, but before they leave, Viv shows up to get him after all. All of Jazz’s friends make fun of Will for being a snitch, causing Will to fight back, telling them that he won’t be insulted that way. Carlton reminds him that he feels the same way when he is insulted and made to feel like he’s not ‘black’ enough for Will. Phil and Viv have a talk with them and blame both of them for their actions. Phil reminds Carlton that being brave means being yourself. Carlton claims he won the bet since Will was at fault for telling on him. Will says he would have been killed if he didn’t come home, which prompts Carlton to insist that Will must love and care about him to care so much about his well-being. 8/3/21
• 024. Just Infatuation – 4/29/1991
  • Ashley’s birthday is coming up and what she wants the most is to see her adolescent idol, singer Little T (Tevin Campbell) in concert. Hilary claims to know Little T’s agent Lee Cohen (Ron Fassler) and thinks she can get tickets for Ashley. Will suggests that she get Little T to show up at Ashley’s party instead. During the party, Ashley starts to get embarrassed when Geoffrey comes dressed as a clown, Will tries to host a dance contest, and Carlton comes out as a magician, but she quickly forgets all that when Little T shows up and sings Happy Birthday to her… causing her to fait dead away. Little T helps ice down her head and they chat in the kitchen, where Little T asks her to go out for pizza with him the next night. Before he leaves, he gives her a kiss on the cheek, causing Will and Carlton to become concerned. Phil is less concerned about Ashley going on a date, until Lee tells him that Little T goes out on dates nightly. Phil tells the boys to follow the kids to the pizza parlor, where they issue a stiff warning to Little T about hurting Ashley. He tells the guys that this is legitimately his first date, since he rarely has time for any socializing whatsoever. He says that his agent pretty much lies about everything. Ashley comes home that night and announces that she had a great time and received her first real kiss, causing her mom and Hilary to cheer, and the three men to groan. She also tells Will that she’s going out with him again the following Saturday, a night that she knows Will will be busy. Will grows wistful about how much Ashley had grown since they first met and he taught her how to rap. Dax Biagas is Jason, a boy at the party, and Jaclyn Bernstein is the girl at the party. 8/3/21
• 025. Working It Out – 5/6/1991
  • Jazz has been trying to pursue Hilary for a date, but she keeps repeatedly having Jeffrey through him out of the house. Will tries to convince her that she has really upset him, but he comes back in with another flippant response to her. When she announces that she quit her job in the gallery in order to get a job that her friends will be more envious of, namely working as the personal assistance of Oscar nominated actress Marissa Redman (Queen Latifah), Will suggests that Jazz come to her place of business with flowers and candy to congratulate her. Marissa proves to be a nightmare boss, never calling Hilary by her actual name, giving her menial tasks, and generally being cruel. She even asks Hilary to find her a young date for a restaurant opening, so that she can compete with fellow actresses who date young men. Jazz and Will come to see her at her office, but Jazz’s efforts go unnoticed. However, Marissa notices Will and tells Hilary to get him to be her date or she will lose her job. Will has no interest in dating her since she is quite older, but Hilary pleads with him to go out with her for one night. Will finally agrees, under the condition that she go out with Jazz. The four of them attend the opening together, and Will alternates between finding off Marissa, and getting Hilary to dance with Jazz. When Marissa gets snubbed by a famous director, she blames Hilary for not sending him champagne. Jazz has finally had enough, and sticks up for Hilary and tells Marissa that she has the most talented and beautiful girl working for her, and that she is nothing but a washed-up actress. Hilary naturally gets fired, but she doesn’t care, and is honored that Jazz stood up for her. That night back at the house, Hilary gives Jazz a kiss on the cheek, and although she declines a Saturday night date offer, she does say that maybe one day they can have another date together. 2/2/22

SEASON 2

• 026. Did the Earth Move for You? – 9/9/1991
  • The family is ecstatic when Phil gets them tickets to the People’s Choice Awards where they will be sitting with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Schriver. However, when Geoffrey also shows his excitement, Phil is forced to admit that he didn’t get tickets for him, which hurts and angers him. Meanwhile, Vivian is frustrated by all of the appliance and electronic gadgetry that Phil is installing into the house. When she locks herself out of the oven by cleaning it, they are forced to order in food and warm it on the grill. Will has his new girlfriend Kathleen (Tisha Campbell) over for dinner. When Geoffrey finds out that Phil got Kathleen tickets, he acts out even more. Will and Kathleen have been acting sloppily in love, but when they start kissing at the dinner table, Phil and Viv have a talk with them and warn them that they haven’t been together that long, and they’d better slow down. Phil is finally able to get a ticket for Geoffrey, but when they all go to leave for the awards, Phil realizes he left the tickets in his desk at his office. He and Viv go to pick those up, while Geoffrey drives the three Banks kids, and Will and Kathleen plan to drive together. Will goes to the storage area in the basement to get his old mitt to have Darryl Strawberry sign. Just then, an earthquake hits Los Angeles, locking Will and Kathleen in the storage area, causing a traffic jam for Geoffrey and the kids, and causing Phil’s office to lose power. Phil and Viv take advantage romantically of their first time alone in quite some time, and Phil also apologizes for all of the gadgets and promises to back off.  Geoffrey had to contend with the kids fighting over what music they will listen to and ends up throwing the radio knob out the window. Will and Kathleen start of romantically, but soon Will gets annoyed by her and the many fake items – including hair, eyelashes, and fingernails – she is wearing. He also takes offense when she eats all of his breath mints. Before long, they are fighting and decide to cool off their relationship. When the power comes back on at the office, Phil and Viv return home to check for damage and they hear Will and Kathleen fighting in the storage area. Phil asks if they’ve been behaving, and Will tells them that they were right and that they decided to slow their relationship down, much to their surprise. They speculate that Will had possible been hit on the head. 1/26/23
• 027. The Mother of All Battles – 9/16/1991
  • Hilary is furious when her friend Francesca (Rosa Nevins) saddles her with being a bridesmaid at her wedding because she thinks she’ll have to learn to cook in order to throw rice. Meanwhile, Ashley tries to fake an illness to stay home from school. She confides in Will that the reason is that a bully student named Paul Hoover (Ebony Solomon) has been extorting Ashley’s lunches but plans to beat her up anyway. Will tries to show Hilary how to defend herself by teaching her how to have a threatening attitude. Carlton on the other hand thinks that violence is never the answer and that she should try to reason with her… or just give her money. The next day at school, Ashley tries to utilize the intimidation techniques, but that have no effect. Both Will and Carlton show up before they can fight. Carlton tries to talk he out of fighting by citing Martin Luther King, but she just punches and slaps him. Will tries to use intimidation, but since he can’t hit a girl, he is left defenseless and winds up offering her $50. She leaves Ashley alone for a bit, but when Carlton’s check bounces, she threatens to beat up Ashley again. Ashley skips three days in a row, and the principal reports it to her parents. When she tells them the reason, they invite Paula’s parents, Dr. (John Wesley) and Mrs. Hoover (Tina Lifford) over to chat with them. When they show up, Paula is wearing a dress and is polite as can be. She also told her parents that it was Ashley who has been picking on her. Paula and Ashley wait in the kitchen, where Ashley asks her why she always picks on her. Paula tells her that it was because she cut in on her and her date Larry Wells. Ashley tells her that it was only because she was dancing with Brad Nelson, and he wanted to cut in and dance with Paula. When they realize the misunderstanding, they decide to be friends. Will sees them embracing and thinks Paula is beating her up, so he puts her in a full nelson. In the living room, Phil spars with the Hoovers on whose child is the bully, and when they lower themselves to insults, Phil finally reaches his limit and punches Dr. Hoover. As Phil soaks his hand in ice that night, Hilary comes home furious that after she worked with Francesca so hard in fixing the bridal gown and bridesmaids’ dresses, Francesca ended up eloping. Everyone in the family comes down on Phil for punching Dr. Hoover, and he admits that he’s wrong. He tells Ashley that he hopes that he hopes that Ashley does what he says, and not what he did. 1/26/23
• 028. Will Gets a Job – 9/23/1991
  • The Homecoming dance is coming up, and Will needs money for money and incidentals. Carlton and Hilary give him some advice on how to ask Uncle Phil for money. He takes their advice and compliments Phil on his supposed weight loss, and then using Hilary’s advice, tells Phil that he has cramps. Phil gladly writes him the check, and then notes that Will has become just like one of his own, particularly Carlton. This grates on Phil to the bone, and as he is having Geoffrey make him a fancy sandwich with Grey Poupon, he tells him that he doesn’t want to turn into some bourgeois rich guy, and then rips up the check from Uncle Phil. He later turns down the chance to go to the basketball game in their party box with fancy food. Will goes separately with his girlfriend Cindy (Lela Rochon), and tries to tell her that they are going to have to skip Homecoming, but when she talks about the low-cut dress that she bought, Will decides to go to Homecoming, but to earn the money himself by getting a job. Meanwhile, Ashley’s young friend Tina (Morgan Nagler) develops a major crush on Carlton and calls him every hour of every day. Will has to turn down going to the Science Fair with Ashley, and admits to her that he’s gotten a job waiting tables at Treasure Island because he wants to be a man and pay his own way. Phil gets some notes from school about Will missing basketball practice and falling to sleep in class as well as missing curfew, he demands an explanation from Will. When Will tells him that he is working, Phil doesn’t believe him and grounds him. Later, the family go out to eat to celebrate Ashley’s prize for the Science Fair, taking Tina with them. They wind up with Will as their waiter, but do not recognize him as he is dressed in pirate gear. Will insults Phil and Carlton all through the meal, before finally revealing his true identity. Uncle Phil tries to apologize to Will, but he winds up talking to the wrong waiter (Christopher Birt), who thinks Phil is hitting on him. When he finally finds the real Will, he apologizes again, but tells him that he doesn’t need to feel bad about accepting help from others. He says that he often went through doors that other people opened for him, and now it is his turn to try and open some for Will, who tells Phil it’s not so bad being compared to one of his kids after all. After seeing Will in his pirate gear, Tina’s crush shifts from Carlton to Will, much to Carlton’s displeasure. 7/9/23
• 029. PSAT Pstory – 9/30/1991
  • Geoffrey meets with a fellow butler named Cecil (Eric Christmas) for tea, and Cecil brags about all of the perks of his job with the Crandolfs. Meanwhile, Will has no interest in studying or putting forth any effort for the upcoming PSAT tests, whereas Carlton can think of nothing else. With the time of year coming up for Geoffrey’s next raise, he puts in extra effort to do more around the house, but when they finally sit down and discuss the raise, Phil offers him a $20 raise per week and a new uniform, to Geoffrey’s utter shock at such a weak show of appreciation. The PSAT scores come back and Carlton is extremely proud of his 114. When Will only gets a 91, Carlton laughs at him, and Aunt Viv tells Will he should think about re-taking them. However, when Will looks again, he realizes that he got a 116 and that he was in the 91st percentile. Geoffrey then walks by and tells the family that Carlton can have his job and then quits. The family has to immediately go to work to cover all of the chores that Geoffrey was doing. Carlton is beside himself as it sinks in that Will did better than him on the test. Vivian demands that Phil figure out how to get Geoffrey back even if he has to beg. The next day in school, Carlton cannot stop talking about the PSAT test. Coach Smiley (Dave Florek) then administers a pop quiz, which Carlton has a hard time concentrating on. When it appears that he is cheating off Will, Smiley sends them both to see Headmaster Thorvald. Will tells Carlton that he’ll get him through the questioning, and the proceeds to tell Smiley and Thorvald that Carlton has a problem with his upper neck that causes his neck to crane. Just as the Coach tells them that there must be a misunderstanding, Carlton tells Will that he got him out of cheating right in front of the Headmaster. Phil is furious and grounds both of the boys. Geoffrey returns to speak to Phil and Vivian, and he tells them that he won’t come back for less than $80 a week. Vivian offers him $100 a week, plus an extra week’s vacation, alternating weekends off, and two days a week off. Geoffrey accepts these terms, as long as he gets an apology from Phil. Carlton apologizes for getting him into trouble, and Will tells him that they need to stop the competition. Will admits that there are a lot of things that Carlton does better than Will, so Carlton proceeds to list them all. Will adds that he is great at irritating the hell out of him as well. 7/9/23
• 030. Granny Gets Busy – 10/7/1991
  • When Carlton’s baseball league opens the team up to women, he starts complaining, which leads to argument with his sisters about what men and women can do better. They make a bet that Hilary and Ashley can’t put together Will’s new exercise bike, while the girls bet that Will and Carlton can’t sew a dress. Each works on the projects, and Uncle Phil is taken aback when he sees Carlton wearing the dress as they put it together. Meanwhile, Phil’s mother Hattie comes for a visit at Phil’s request, as he fears she is lonely after a year without her husband Joe since his passing. Much to his surprise, she is acting like a spry young woman and takes little interest in the activities he tries to get her involved in, like a Solitaire tournament, a pudding bar, and hanging out with their widowed elderly neighbor Mrs. Sweeting (Eda Reiss Merin), who wants to do nothing but crochet Afghans. However, one night while Vivian is trying to be romantic with Phil, he finds a note from his mother indicating she is out with her new friend. They believe she is referring to Mrs. Sweeting, but Phil worries about her and decides to go downstairs and wait for her to get home. There he finds his mother kissing their handyman Ed Downer (Lee Weaver) in the kitchen. The next morning, Phil gives his mother the cold shoulder, and then tells Vivian what he saw. She tells him that he needs to let her get on with her life, especially if he expects her to move from North Carolina to California. He agrees to invite Ed over for dinner, but every time Ed talks about himself, Phil brings up his father. When his mother privately asks him what is wrong, he tells her that he feels like she doesn’t even miss his father. She tells him that she had recently woke up in a great mood, went downstairs and made a big breakfast, and then remembered that she was all alone. She says that remembering him is the easy part, but forgetting about him is unbearable. Phil tells her that he was only rude to Ed because he thought it might mean losing her, but she says at most, he will only have to lend her out once in a while. The boys and the girls each finish their challenges, with the exercise bike working smoothly. Carlton comes downstairs modeling the cute dress they put together and enjoys the catcalls that his sisters give him. 3/16/24
• 031. Guess Who’s Coming to Marry? – 10/14/1991
  • coming soon…
• 032. The Big Four-Oh – 10/21/1991
  • Aunt Viv has gotten very moody on the occasion of her 40th anniversary. She can’t decide to attend her party wearing a short skirt to help her feel young, or if she she should be more reserved at her age. This is causing trouble for Hilary as well, who keep have to return her birthday gift, depending on her mother’s mood. She winds up wearing a skimpy, sequined dress, but when the kids put on a slide show that travels down memory lane through Viv’s life, she sees the years rolling away, and hears about her unfulfilled dreams of becoming a dancer. To add further insult, the fire sprinkler goes off when they bring her candle-clad birthday cake in. Although Phil is sure she’ll wake up in a bad mood, Viv surprises everyone when she is in a great mood the next morning. She tells everyone that she’s decided to fulfill her dream of becoming a dancer, and has quit her job. Meanwhile, Ashley has also decided to go out for the cheerleading squad. Although her moves are quite dull, Will agrees to help her spice them up. Viv shows up at her advanced jazz dance class, and is instantly teased by two mean advanced students Gina (Judy Prescott) and Robin (Cynthia Green). Quite out of practice, Viv can’t even make it through the teacher’s (Nancy Saenz) warm up without falling down and slinking out of class, which is bad news for Will, who has developed crushes on the dancers already. Viv goes home more determined than ever and decides to take private lessons from an acclaimed dancer so that she is able to audition for an upcoming performance. When she returns to class for the auditions, Gina and Robin again scoff at her. However, after seeing the choreographer (Roumel Reaux) go through the routine once, Viv is able to perform it spot on her first try. She goes home that night and proudly announces that she was offered a leading role in the next show, but turned it down because she has missed so many of the simple things over the past few weeks of training, like reading, ice cream, and her family. Ashley brings home good news, too: she made the cheerleading squad. That night in the bedroom, Phil shows he is still romantic as he convinces Viv that she is still a beautiful, vibrant woman. Nicholas Shaffer is the waiter with the cake. 2/2/22
• 033. She Ain’t Heavy– 11/4/1991
  • Uncle Phil throws out his back lifting the couch to find one of Viv’s earrings… which Will had worn to school. Meanwhile, Phil gives Will a floor seat ticket to see the Lakers, but gives the second to one of his colleague’s daughters, an overweight girl named Dee Dee (Queen Latifah). Will is disappointed when he sees her after all of the luck he’s had on blind dates in the past, so he makes it clear to her that they won’t be dates. She agrees, and says she doesn’t do blind dates either. However, Will quickly finds that he has fun with her and they have a lot in common: the same movies, same music, and the enjoyment of putting straws up their noses. Still, he can’t bring himself to ask her to the upcoming Harvest Dance at school. He is aiming to ask out a more popular girl named Claudia Prescott (Nia Long). Carlton however is striking out left and right when it comes to the dance; his suit shrinks, his shoes are stolen by a dog, and he gets a pimple. Will keeps hanging out with Dee Dee and even uses her advice on how1 to ask out Claudia, but when they go out to eat, the waiter Tyriq Johnson (Perry Moore) and some of Will’s school friends make fun of Dee Dee’s weight, he is very clear to them that she is not his date, but just his friend. She overhears Will talking and storms out, telling him that she is not his friend either. Will feels horrible and tries to call her several times to apologize, but she won’t answer. At the dance, Carlton shows up in the same suit and tie that the nerds Yuki (Duane Taniguchi) and Randolph (Jake Price) are wearing, so he ends up hanging out with them all night. Will does in fact bring Claudia, but he quickly gets tired of her shallow talk about fashion. He then spots Dee Dee at the dance with another date named Robert (Shanga Parker). Will confronts her and she lays it on the line that she is too good to be a friend that he doesn’t want anyone to mistake for a girlfriend. However, as they quickly tire of their dates, they both put straws up their nose and gravitate back to each other. Back home, Uncle Phil has been milking his injury so he can watch the home-shopping network, and soon all the family is addicted. After the dance, Will and Dee Dee go back to his house and join the family in bed. Carlton comes home, glad the night is over, and plops in the bed… which causes it to collapse. Peter Lune is the voice on the Home Shopping Network. Vincent Ventresca is Alex with the Brat Pack. 6/10/22
• 034. Cased Up – 11/11/1991
  • Hillary is dating a junior lawyer at Uncle Phil’s firm named Eric Sanders (Malcolm Jamal-Warner). Hillary thinks he dresses sharp but it always trying to get him to lose his glasses. Both Will and Carlton find him stuffy and pretentious. Meanwhile, Will wants to use the car to cruising for ladies, but both Carlton and Hillary also want it, and Will loses out. Will then goes and buys a car from Jazz using his summer job money. Uncle Phil thinks it is a piece of junk, and when Phil finds out that Will has not bought insurance on it, he forbids him from driving it until he gets some. Will complies initially, but then Jazz talks him into ignoring the rule so they can go out to find some ladies. He and Eric then crash into each other in the driveway, and Eric claims that the bill will be $2500, while Will says that Eric hit him. Eric asks Phil for advice on how to handle an accident with an acquaintance who doesn’t have insurance and refuses to pay, and Phil tells him to put personal relationships aside and take him to court. This results in Phil being served a summons by the State Marshall (Marc Epstein) since Will is a minor under Phil’s custody. Phil decides to defend the case himself and tells Eric that he will eat him alive in court. Judge Harry Wilson (Richard McKenzie), whose wife just left him, takes a liking to will. Eric tries to argue that Will’s music was so loud, he couldn’t hear Eric’s warning honks. Phil then pulls out his big guns when questioning Hillary as a witness, and she admits that she had taken off Eric’s glasses before they got in the car. Since Eric is required on his license to wear glasses when he drives, the judge dismisses the case. Phil and Eric shake hands after the ruling, and Phil tells him that he is going to be an excellent lawyer. Will follows Phil’s example and shakes his hand as well, and they agree that they got off on the wrong foot. Tim Haldeman is the bailiff. Dale Jones is the Sheriff. 6/10/22
• 035. Hi-Ho Silver – 11/18/1991
  • Now that Aunt Viv is no longer working, she is driving everyone at the house crazy, serving health food to the kids, and putting Uncle Phil on a workout regimen along with his health food, and making Geoffrey polish the family silver and wear an updated chic wardrobe. She also plans to throw a dinner party with their famous actress neighbor Sonya Lamor (Zsa Zsa Gabor). The kids are all excited to meet her, and Phil looks forward to the prospect of discussing representing her as she adapts her book into a biographical film. Sonya takes a liking to Viv’s chocolate cake, so she makes her one and asks Will and Carlton to drop it off. Geoffrey announces that the silverware and his new outfit are missing, so everyone searches the house. Hillary finds his clothes wadded up in the basement, but there are still no signs of the silverware, leading them to believe it was stolen. When Will and Carlton deliver the cake to Sonya, they find the silverware at her house. Instead of calling the police and potentially blowing Uncle Phil’s business relationship with Sonya, they just steal the silverware back. However, when they get home, before they can show the recovered silverware to Aunt Viv, she tells them that it turned up when the caterers realized that they had take it. Carlton and Will decide to try to sneak it back into Sonya’s house. Hillary is over there with her, getting ready to go shopping together. They leave once, but then return to try and find Hillary’s car keys. Carlton and Will try to hide, and wind up stuck hiding under her dining room table. Phil comes over to go over the movie contract with her, and when they sit at the table, they each the other is playing footsie with each other thanks to Will and Carlton bumping into each of them. Eventually Uncle Phil finds them under the table, and they admit what they were doing. Phil assures Sonya that they will both be punished. A police officer (Tim Haldeman) shows up after a break-in is reported, and Carlton tries to smack Will with a glove and accidentally hits the officer. Sonya assures everyone that it wasn’t her who hit him. 10/2/22
• 036. The Butler Did It – 11/25/1991
  • Phil and Viv head off to a legal convention, while Geoffrey goes to a butler’s convention, leaving the kids home alone. Uncle Phil gives a stern warning to Will, and they head off… but they end up actually going to a the Doomie Inn for a romantic getaway in the Casbah room . They wanted to get the Glory That Was Rome Suite where they had stayed before, but their rich hotel neighbor already got it and paid dearly for it, as well as paid off the bellboy Bob Doomie (Ralph Manza) to get the Roman Suite. Back at home, Will has his girl Veronica (Shawn Murray aka Shawn Woodward), his friend Tyriq and Tyriq’s girlfriend over, while Hillary has her friends over as they get ready for a trip to the jewelry store. Carlton takes advantage of being without parents, and orders a pizza. Ashley and her Girl Scout troop try to get one of the older kids to take her to the grocery store so they can sell Girl Scout cookies, but when they ignore her, she and her fellow Scout Zoey (Nicholle Tom) take the car and try to drive it. Meanwhile, Carlton has a arranged for a Bel Biv DeVoe (themselves – Ricky Bell, Michael Bivins, and Ronnie DeVoe) video. Will thinks he is out of his mind, and in fact, when he and Tyriq wake up that morning, the entire living room has been transformed into a smoky video set, and the furniture has all been moved outside. Carlton promises that everything will be returned to its place by Monday when Phil and Viv come home. Back at the hotel, Phil is tired of the service since they man in the Room Suite is getting all of the service. They call home and tell Will that they will be coming home that night rather than Monday. Phil is curious about the music in the background, but Will is curious about the Arabic music on their end. As they leave their room, the person rooming next door is revealed… as Geoffrey. Will frantically tires to shut down the video, but the director (David Bowe) says they only have one more shot and they they’ll return all of the furniture. Just then it starts pouring down rain, and destroys all of the furniture. Will starts panicking and spending their $5000 by sending Hillary to get new furniture, Carlton to buff the floor, and Ashley to paint the walls, while he handles the soaked rug. Despite mishaps like Will sending the floor buffer into the swimming pool, and Hillary bringing home a loveseat to replace the couch, they amazingly get everything into tip top condition. When Phil and Viv get home, everything is order, and he remarks how surprised he is to not come home to a disaster. However, as he heads up to bead, his back is entirely covered in paint. 10/2/22 
• 037. Something for Nothing – 12/9/1991
  • While Will is getting beaten in basketball by one of Ashley’s young suitors named Ramon (Brandon Adams), Hilary is helping put together a Monte Carlo night at their club to raise money for the L.A. Political Coalition, and rest of the family is planning to attend. Unfortunately, Uncle Phil, who will be making sure that the toilet paper stays full, won’t let Ashley attend because she is too young. When Aunt Viv reminds Hilary that her name is on Hilary’s credit card, Hilary gives her any job that she wants, so she chooses to be Blackjack dealer. However, Phil doesn’t care for the scads of men who are hitting on her while she does her job. Although Will wasn’t crazy about going, he gets on a winning streak at Craps, while Carlton, who is following an instructional book of beating the odds keeps warning him that his luck is going to run out. Back home, Geoffrey sets up a poker table for Ashley, using cookies as betting chips. When he admits that he used cookies because she is only thirteen years old, she talks him into using real money. It isn’t long before she’s taken him for $94. She tries to give him his money back, but he passive-aggressively refuses to take it back. On top of all of Will’s Craps winning, he also wins $1000 with a raffle ticket. Club bigwig George Cummings (Don Amendolia) presents him with the giant check, but then expects Will to let him keep it so the club can donate to the coalition. Will refuses and leaves with the check, leaving Phil and Viv embarrassed. When they get home, Phil tells him that he is being selfish, and since they have been blessed with money, they are expected to give back to a worthy charity. The next morning, Hilary takes her parents to breakfast at the club, and their friend Henry Firth (John Petlock) pays for their breakfast, while Mrs. Pullman (Mimi Cozzens) tries to give them a bar of gold. They assume that the Banks are in need of money and that is why Will didn’t give back the money. Phil tells everyone that Will brought back the money, but George says that he never did. When they get back home, Phil is furious at Will for not giving back the money, but Will tells him that he did indeed put the money toward Ramon going to basketball camp. Phil agrees that it was a noble cause, and he agrees to donate his own $1000 to the coalition. Geoffrey admits he was being a sore loser and apologizes to Ashley for being so passive-aggressive. Andrew Bilgore is the waiter. Richard Penn is Brett. 11/7/23
• 038. Christmas Show – 12/16/1991
  • With Christmas coming up, Phil arranges to rent a ski cabin in the hills of Utah for Vivian to have a reunion with her sisters and their families. Although Hilary isn’t happy about the coach airline tickets, she is excited for Christmas with the family. Will’s mother Vy, and Viv’s other sister Helen, her husband Lester, and their son Bobby all arrive first and discover that there are only four beds for thirteen people. Once the Banks family arrive, they meet with the real estate agent Fred (Don Sparks), but he says he never promised there would be more beds. Phil decides that everyone who chipped in would get a bed, which means that the kids end up on the floor. Viv’s third sister Janice and her new husband Frank then arrive, and Janice immediately starts throwing up. She says she may be pregnant, so they run out and buy her a pregnancy test. Several of the guys go skiing, and Lester is brought home by a forest ranger (Tom Virtue) wearing a leg brace. Vy seems to have a new gusto for life, and when Will questions her, she will only tell him that she has a new ‘friend’ named Robert Watson. As Will films the family party, Carlton tries to get a Christmas song medley going, but everyone turns on the Sly and the Family Stone song I Want to Take You Higher and dances around the room. The parents all dance out the door to the party at the ski lodge while the kids stay at the cabin. When a meek looking stranger named Arnold Tish (Charley Lang) comes to the door and says that his car has broken down, Will is adamant that they don’t let him in. Everyone else reminds him that it is Christmas Eve and they need to show some charity, only to find out that Arnold has come to rob them. He ties up the kids and steals everything in the house including the food and the pregnancy test. Fred, who is also the local police officer, comes to investigate, but predicts they won’t get any of their belongings back. When they go to bed that night, Carlton confesses that he was scared by Tish, and Will admits he too was petrified. Carlton says that it has inspired him to tell his family members how he feels, so he tells Will that he loves him. Will then pretends to be asleep. Carlton says he is okay with that and starts to sing He Aint’ Heavy (He’s My Brother) and We Are Family, until Will can stand it no longer and tells Carlton he loves him too. The next morning, Geoffrey prepares everyone hot water and chewing gum, and they go around the room and say what they will do in the new year to honor the holiday. Will tells his mother that he will give more of himself so that she doesn’t need Robert any longer, but when she says she’s going to continue to see him, Will tells her that he will be more understanding… but forbids her from coming home with any new babies. Fred shows up at the cabin and tells everyone that Tish was caught when he ran into a Nativity scene and was knocked out when the baby Jesus went through his windshield. Unfortunately, he had already unloaded everything except for the pregnancy test, which indicates that Janice is pregnant, much to the excitement of everyone. Carlton offers his gift again, a Christmas medley starting with O Holy Night. When everyone starts singing along, Carlton objects that it is supposed to be a solo. Will tells him that he can sing ‘so low’ that no one can hear him. 11/7/23
• 039. Hilary Gets a Life – 1/6/1992
  • Will and Tyriq utilize a dating service, and Will has no problem lying on his application. Meanwhile, Hilary is hanging out with her friends Cindy (Sharon Brown) and Krista (Clea Lewis) and starts to feel left out when they have to run off to do career-oriented things. Uncle Phil and Aunt Viv call a family meeting and surprise everyone by telling their own kids that they need to look at Will as a role model since he has been able to balance his work and school life. Phil complains about the bills but has trouble reading many of the numbers on the bills. The one thing that is for sure is that Hilary is the one racking up most of the bills, and as a result, Phil makes her turn over her credit card so that he can cut it up. Hilary agrees to get a job, but has trouble finding anyone who is interested in her as she has no experience. Will helps her bolster up her resume with many exaggerations, but it does ultimately lead to her getting employed by a catering company called Delectable Eats as an account manager. Will and Tyriq get ready to go out on their dates from the service and are mortified that they both dressed in the same shirt, which is also the one that Ashley says many boys in eighth grade are wearing the same shirt. They drop Hilary off at a bar mitzvah that she is catering, but before they leave, the hostess Barbara Simone (Joan McMurtrey) asks her where the servers are. Since she has not utilized any, she tells her that Will and Tyriq are the servers. Since they are on their way to their date, Will tells her that they cannot help, but he heads home to get her family to assist. None of them want to do it, but eventually Will talks Geoffrey, Carlton, and Ashley into pitching in. Hilary then begs Will to stay as well and only convinces him to do so by crying, but when Hilary sees that both Cindy and Krista are guests at the party, she is embarrassed and hides in the storage closet. She won’t come out of the closet, so Geoffrey goes in and tells her that she has always quit at everything as she was growing up, and that she needs to stick with one thing in order to succeed. He says that she is very talented at catering and suggests that she stick with this thing and not to worry about what her friends say. Will then barges in and demands that Hilary get back to work, which at this point she is glad to do. Will is pleased to take the credit. Elsa Raven is party guest Ida Pollock. NOTE: Tom Henschel is credited as Mr. Greenspan, and Adam Sneller is credited as Bobby Greenspan, but do not appear in the syndicated/DVD version of the film. 3/12/24

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