The Terrible Catsafterme

SEASON 1 – CBS

Theme song: “The Nanny Named Fran” written by Ann Hampton Callaway, performed by Ann Hampton Callaway and Liz Callaway. NOTE: The pilot lead-in utilized the song “If My Friends Could See Me Now” as performed by Gwen Verdon, which was subsequently dropped and replaced in syndicated releases of the pilot episode

• 001. Pilot – 11/3/1993
  • Outspoken Jewish woman Fran Fine (Fran Drescher) is employed as a bridal consultant in Flushing, New York until her boss and boyfriend Danny Imperiali (Jonathan Penner) breaks up with and fires her. Fran begins selling door-to-door cosmetics and stumbles onto the home of widowed British Broadway producer Maxwell Sheffield (Charles Shaughnessy). The butler Niles (Daniel Davis) mistakes Fran for a nanny applicant, and although she is exposed as having no credentials, Sheffield gives her a shot for the weekend since he is hosting a party, and his business partner C.C. Babcock (Lauren Lane), who is clearly interested in Maxwell beyond work, doesn’t want the kids around for it. Fran immediately moves into the mansion and tries to blend into the family by eating at the breakfast table with Sheffield and his three children, the timid Maggie (Nicholle Tom), the impudent Brighton (Benjamin Salisbury), and the youngest Grace (Madeline Zima), who is already in therapy. Her first act is to ignore the wishes of their father and C.C. by getting them prepared to attend the party. Sheffield is initially shocked when they show up, but their polished behavior quickly wins him over and he admits that the party went well. However when he catches Maggie kissing Eddie (James Marsden), one of the catering company’s workers, he blows his top, and ends up firing Fran when she tries to interfere. Maxwell later visits Fran at the home of her mother Sylvia (Renee Taylor) and asks Fran to come back with the stipulation that each of them try to understand the other’s viewpoints on things a little better. Rachel Chagall is Fran’s friend Val Toriello. Dee Dee Rescher is Dottie. 1/17/16

• 002. Smoke Gets in Your Lies – 11/10/1993
  • After Fran and Val share a story with Brighton about a dreamboat named Lenny Brown from their school days who used to smoke cigarettes, Brighton gets a note sent home from the headmaster that he was caught smoking. Fran is ready to show the note to Mr. Sheffield, but when he blows her off, she doesn’t push it, realizing that it was her story that influenced Brighton. Acting on Fran’s advice, Mr. Sheffield decides to go to the carnival being held at Brighton’s school. Realizing that the headmaster will mention the smoking, she finally comes clean. Surprisingly Brighton doesn’t turn her in, but Fran admits her own indiscretion. Mr. Sheffield is pleased that Brighton has made a connection with her, and to dissuade him from smoking, he and Fran take him to visit with Fran’s grandmother Yetta Rosenberg (Ann Morgan Guilbert), whose lifetime of smoking has made her health less than desirable. Carol Channing appears as herself trying out for one of Sheffield’s play. Music composer Timothy Thompson appears as the pianist. 1/17/16
• 003. My Fair Nanny – 11/17/1993
  • C.C. suggests that Maggie attend a tea party for the Cotillion Society, whose active members are one of Maxwell’s biggest investors Maureen Wentworth (Dorothy Lyman) and her debutante daughter Cindy (Nikki Cox). Maggie has no interest in that type of crowd, but Fran thinks that Maggie needs to socialize and offers to help throw a party. Maxwell and Niles are afraid that Fran won’t fit in with high society so they try to help refine her by working with her on movement, attire, dinner etiquette, and enunciation. The successfully transform her into a society matron… but Maggie and Cindy both have a miserable time at the party. Maggie talks Fran into being herself, and the party take on a much more informal tone, at which everyone has a great time. Maureen even offers to invest in Maxwell’s new play. Brighton however gets nowhere in his flirtation with Cindy. Magda Harout is Madam Moleska. 3/3/16
• 004. The Nuchslep – 11/24/1993
  • When Eddie delivers Chinese food to their house, he asks Maggie out on a date again. Maxwell agrees to let her go if Fran will be their chaperone – or as she calls it, ‘nuchslep.’ Fran accompanies the kids to the movies and seems to dominate the night with her sense of humor. Maggie sees the date as a failure… particularly when Eddie calls the next day to talk to Fran. Maggie is furious with Fran, but she wins her back over telling her about the “OGC” – Official Girlfriend’s Code – by which she has to dump Eddie. When Eddie arrives to see Fran, she finds out that Eddie only wanted her to pass on his acting resume to Maxwell. Fran is embarrassed, but tells Maggie there is a loophole that Eddie never liked Fran, so Maggie doesn’t have to dump him. Meanwhile Maxwell gives C.C. a Pomeranian dog that Fran names Chester (Chester Drescher). Fritzi Burr and Aaron Heyman are the couple at the movies. 3/3/16
• 005. Here Comes the Brood – 12/6/1993
  • C.C. is jealous of how well liked Fran is by the family, so offers to go to the zoo with them on Fran’s Saturday off. Maxwell has to bow out when he is forced to visit Fran’s dentist uncle Myron (Allen Bloomfield). They have a miserable time complete with Brighton vomiting. Tired of hearing about Fran, C.C. tells the kids that she only takes care of them because she is paid. Fran and her mother are getting ready to attend the wedding of her second cousin once-removed where Fran will be a bridesmaid, when Grace shows up at her place, having run away from home. Fran puts a call into Maxwell, who hasn’t yet realized that she was missing, and holds Grace responsible. They head to the wedding to pick up Grace, who is upset because of Fran getting paid to take care of them. Fran explains that she gets paid, but that she has the best job in the world…which cheers her up. Fran makes peace with C.C. but warns her never to hurt the children again. Blake McIver Ewing is Myron’s grandson Robby. TV writer Lila Garrett is the lady in the restroom. 6/10/16
• 006. The Butler, the Husband, His Wife, and Her Mother – 12/8/1993
  • Fran refuses to visit with her Uncle Jack (Zack Norman) and Cousin Marsha (Nancy Frangione) with her mother, because they are always trying to one-up Fran’s family. However Fran’s mother brings Jack and Marsha over to visit her, telling them that she has married the wealthy Mr. Sheffield. Fran goes along with the lie, but pretends that Niles is Sheffield. Meanwhile the inspectors (Ian Abercrombie, Brian George) of the National Butlers Association come to inspect Niles for membership. When Sheffield comes home, he reluctantly agrees to then play the part of the butler to go along with the ruses going on. When it is revealed that Brighton has not actually been elected class president when the real winner Kevin (Adam Hendershott) comes over for a visit, Fran gives advice that Brighton should never pretend to be something he is not to please his parent. To that end, Fran admits to the charade, and Sheffield, still posing as the butler, comes to Fran’s defense… as does her mother. C.C. stops by and gives away the butler ruse as well, which initially turns off the inspectors, but then Fran reminds them that not all employers would ever go to such lengths for his butler, which gets Niles his membership. The only secret yet to be revealed is that Fran and Niles ate a basket of caviar that their boss received as a gift. 6/10/16
• 007. Imaginary Friend – 12/15/1993
  • Grace has a tiny imaginary friend named Emma Jean, which is becoming a concern for everyone. Grace attends psychological sessions with Dr. Voort (Cristine Rose), but Fran thinks that she is seeing the doctor too much at twice a week and need more fun. While making cookies with Fran, Grace claims that Emma Jean landed on a cookie and that Fran ate her. Despite the fact that Fran and Maxwell try to revive her, Grace is devastated that Emma Jean is dead. Grace and family conduct a ‘funeral’ for Emma Jean, being buried alongside Fran’s boots. They finally get Grace in to see Dr. Voort, and when prompted, Grace admits that maybe she really didn’t need Emma Jean any longer now that she has Fran. Later that night Fran works on digging up her shoes. Maggie works on playing the piano but can’t get off Chopsticks. Candy Trabuco is Lexine the receptionist. Devon Williams and John Bishop are the bickering couple. Fran Drescher’s parents Mort and Sylvia Drescher appear as patients in the waiting room 8/29/16
• 008. Christmas Episode (aka The Christmas Show) – 12/22/1993
  • Grace is upset that her father won’t be home once again for Christmas since he will be away working for a charity drive. Fran is excited when Niles tells her that Mr. Sheffield always gives his employees a four figure check. In reference to the kids, Fran encourages Mr. Sheffield to pick out his own gifts rather than having a shopper do it for him, but it backfires when he gives her a vase instead of a check after she had gone out and spend money that she didn’t have on the kids. Fran sells the vase to Pauly the pawnbroker (Allan Rich), but then when she finds out how much sentiment Mr. Sheffield put into it, she retrieves the vase by trading in her late grandmother’s watch. Niles tells Sheffield what is going on, and when his plane is delayed three hours, he returns home and brings Fran the watch while she is in the church confessional. It turns out to be the wrong watch and Mr. Sheffield accidentally sits on the vase and winds up in the hospital next to a Santa Claus (Richard Roat) who was hit by his bell. Grace gets her wish by having her father home and everyone together, even if it is in the hospital. Santa disappears from the hospital and is seen by Fran taking off in a sleigh.  Kort Falkenberg is the priest. Lawrence Mandley and William Palmieri are orderlies. Jean Ford is the nurse. 8/30/16
• 009. Personal Business – 12/29/1993
  • Mr. Sheffield criticizes Fran when her friend Val calls on his business line and the two have a talk about keeping business and personal life separate. Meanwhile Sheffield is excited to get major soap opera star Brock Storm (Stephen Nichols) to audition for a role he is casting in Oklahoma!, and Fran is equally as ecstatic as she has a huge crush on his soap character. Storm auditions for the role and meets Fran and takes an instant liking to her. In fact he makes getting ‘the nanny’ as part of his contract. Sheffield is reluctant to pimp out Fran, but C.C. talks him into it. Fran doesn’t have a problem with it either and the two go out on a date. However Fran finds Brock nauseatingly full of himself and ends up ending the date. When she returns home, she finds that Mr. Sheffield has been waiting up for her, visibly concerned and possibly jealous. Fran reiterated that their personal lives are bound to intertwine by living under the same roof. Sheffield is unconcerned whether Fran messed up the chances for Fran in the play, while she assures him that he will now be able to hit the ‘high notes’. Sal Ortiz provides a soap opera voice over. 11/15/16
• 010. The Nanny-in-Law – 1/12/1994
  • The Sheffields receive a visit from Maxwell’s former nanny Clara Mueller (Cloris Leachman) from when he was a child, and she takes an instant disliking to Fran and her informalities. In addition to renewing her romance with Niles, she criticizes the way the kids are being raised and undermines Fran’s authority, even dressing them in uniforms. Fran discusses this with other nannies Lupe (Irene Olga Lopez) and others (Lu Leonard, Peggy Blow) who warns her not to undermine a man’s nanny, so Fran reports to dinner in uniform and modestly eats in the kitchen and acts more stringent with the kids. Maxwell tells her to return to her unconventional ways as she makes the family happy. As Maxwell and Fran discuss how to handle the situation with Nanny Mueller, they catch her and Niles frolicking in the kitchen. The next morning Maxwell is too timid to tell her to leave, so after he goes, Fran does it. But then she feels sorry when Nanny Mueller confesses that now she has no one since her kids have all grown up and moved on. When Maxwell returns and tells her to leave, Fran tells her to apologize to her, and then tells her that the nannies need to stick together. Fran sets up Nanny Mueller with C.C.’s mother… and then modifies her own uniform to a mini skirt. 11/15/16
• 011. A Plot for Nanny – 1/19/1994
  • For her 30th birthday, Fran receives a cemetery plot from her mother, and they head to the Hartman Funeral Parlor because Fran wants to return it. Fran meets the funeral director Steve Mintz (Matt McCoy), and with some prodding from her mother who had already met Steve, Fran accepts a date with him. Despite the obvious jokes from everyone, Fran takes a liking to him and is seen kissing him after their first date, while Mr. Sheffield and the kids worry that they’ll lose Fran if she ends up with a man. Meanwhile Maggie is asked out by Philip Drake, and they start getting closer too. Mr. Sheffield awkwardly insinuates that Fran shouldn’t have any men in the house. Fran continues to see Steve, but breaks it off when she finds out that he wants to get out of the funeral business and go to school to be a clown. Maggie has issues with Phillip also when she catches him ogling another girl. Mr. Sheffield sympathizes with Fran although is secretly happy about them breaking up. Fran’s mother lectures her about finding Mr. Right while Mr. Sheffield’s obvious affection for her is right under their noses. 2/20/17
• 012. Countdown – 1/26/1994
  • Lexington Academy is gearing up to put on their elementary school show Mother Goose’s Broadway, and Fran drags Mr. Sheffield to the parent meeting in hopes that he will volunteer to direct. Instead he volunteers Fran, who is willing to take on the job, much to the irritation of the school mistress Emma Trusdale (Maree Cheatham). Fran holds the tryouts at their home and gives the lead to Grace instead of the much more qualified Andrea (Tina Hart). When Sheffield visits the play practice, he sees many opportunities for improvement and suddenly becomes interested in directing the play, relegating Fran to producer, and giving the show the touches of a Broadway hit. Fran worries that he is overworking Grace, and this does in fact prove to be the case, when she refuses to go on for opening night. Sheffield relies on Fran to try and convince her, which she does using reverse psychology and telling Grace that Andrea can handle the lead. The show is a spectacle and success, even though Grace’s performance of Itsy Bitsy Spider is just as flat as it was from the beginning. Marianne Muellerleile is Andrea’s mother. Kellen Hathaway is Bernard and Sue Goodman is his mother. Thomas Dekker is the son of J.B. Bingington. Dialogue coach Steve Posner plays one of the fathers. 2/23/17
• 013. Maggie the Model – 2/2/1994
  • Fashion model Chloe Simpson (Lesley-Anne Down), with whom Maxwell had once had an affair, comes to Sheffield’s to have dinner with the family. While there, she and Maxwell rekindle their relationship, and also suggests that Maggie might make a great model. C.C. is extremely jealous of the relationship between Chloe and Maxwell, and Fran seems slightly disturbed as well. Fran takes Maggie to the audition and tries to give her pointers, but then overhears the photographer Carlo (Anthony Cistaro) tell Chloe that Maggie stinks. Maggie starts to get a big head, and Fran tries to dissuade her from modeling, but in only results in Maggie telling Fran that she is jealous. Eventually Chloe tells Maggie that her pictures weren’t good, bringing Maggie back down to earth. Chloe ends up leaving for Paris, cancelling plans to travel with Maxwell. Fran trips her as she walks out the door. Andy Dick is pretentious make up artist Pepe, actually named Bernie. Victoria Hulett is a model. 8/17/17
• 014. The Family Plumbing – 2/9/1994
  • Two crises are going on in the Sheffield house: there is no water, and Maxwell is forbidding Maggie from attending a ‘make-out’ party with her friends. Maxwell allows Fran to hire her cousin Irving Koenig (Louis Guss) to fix the plumbing and he brings along his granddaughter Tiffany (Jackie Tohn). While Maxwell is auditioning showgirls (including Melanie Good, Laurelyn Scharkey), Fran catches Brighton and Tiffany kissing inside the shower. Fran tries to hide it from Maxwell since he seems so concerned about his kids kissing, but when he finds out, he is actually proud of Brighton. The plumbing finally gets fixed and Maxwell take a shower, but Fran barges in on him while searching for Tiffany and Brighton again. Maxwell is embarrassed, but eventually sees things Fran’s way and allows Maggie to attend the party. Tiffany blows off Brighton when he leaves, but he is just happy to have gotten to first base. 8/19/17
• 015. Deep Throat – 3/2/1994
  • All three kids are sick with the flu and are driving Niles and Fran crazy by ringing their bells when they need service. The two oldest start to feel better, but Fran takes Grace to see Dr. Link (Doug Ballard). He deems Grace to be fine, but sees that Fran needs her tonsils removed. Although Mr. Sheffield is supposed to be accompanying C.C. to her sorority reunion, he tells her to go on ahead so he can stay with Fran in the hospital longer. When Fran is given sedation, she beings talking silly and tells Mr. Sheffield that she loves him. Meanwhile at the reunion, C.C. is being taunted by her sorority sisters (Lauren Koslow, Pamela Dillman) for being childless and single and her date not being present. At the hospital Sheffield confesses to Niles that he is afraid that Fran is pining for him, but when she comes out of surgery, he hears her tell two orderlies and her I.V. that she loves them. Feeling foolish, he heads off to the reunion and arrives in time to find a drunk C.C. hailing that her date has finally arrived… but only to the cleaning man (Pete Leal), as the reunion has ended and everyone has left. Back at home Niles get sick, so the kids are forced to respond his and Fran’s bells now. Francesca P. Roberts is Nurse Smith. 2/7/18
• 016. Schlepped Away – 3/9/1994
  • Facing the winter blues, Mr. Sheffield plans to take the family to Bermuda, much to the irritation of C.C. when she finds out that Fran is going. Niles drives them all to the airport, including C.C. who plans to spend her vacation with a Senator, but they get lost along the way and have to stop by Fran’s parents’ apartment, where they find out that the airport is closed. Everyone is forced to stay at the apartment, with C.C. and Maggie feeling particularly cooped up. Things start to look up for Maggie when she meets the local laundry delivery boy Kenny Keroucan (Gregg Rogell). However Fran nearly has a meltdown when she finds that Paulie the Butcher has been sending her mother love letters in the meat. C.C. tries to get romantic with Mr. Sheffield, but accidentally crawls in bed with Niles. Fran finally confronts her mother about the ‘affair’, but finds out that she and Paulie merely flirt, under the full knowledge of Fran’s father Morty. Fran is okay with it, and she and the family realize they’ve had a pretty good time at Fran’s parents house… but when C.C. announces that the roads and airports are open again, they hightail it out of there and toward their vacation destination. 2/7/18
• 017. Stop the Wedding, I Want to Get Off – 3/16/1994
  • Maxwell’s sister Jocelyn (Twiggy Lawson) comes for a visit and announces her engagement to the Duke of Salisbury, Nigel Waters (Lane Davies). Fran offers to act as the wedding planner, talking them into getting married in the Sheffield house. Fran starts to worry that they are marrying out of convenience rather than love. She also notices that there seems to be a spark between Jocelyn and her chauffeur Lester (Leigh Lawson). She tells Maxwell about it, but he doesn’t want Fran to get involved with the situation. She promises not to say anything to her, but instead Fran goes to Lester and tells him that she knows he’s in love with Jocelyn. He ends up going to her before the wedding and confessing his feelings, leading to a passionate kiss between them. Fran, Maxwell, and then finally Nigel finds them kissing, so he calls off the wedding. Lester steps right in and marries her using minister already on site. Meanwhile Kenny is nervous about getting involved with Maggie since she is so rich and astute. Fran gives Kenny enough confidence to perform some stand-up comedy at the wedding, making a splash and giving him confidence to invite Maggie to the upcoming show he is putting on. Maxwell talks to Fran after the wedding about how Jocelyn almost missed her chance for happiness by being blind to being in love with someone she works for, sounding much like their relationship. 10/28/18
• 018. Sunday in the Park with Fran – 3/23/1994
  • Hoping to suck up to critic Frank Bradley (Eric Braeden) and get a good review for the play that she and Mr. Sheffield are producing, C.C. insists that Fran arrange a play date with Grace and Bradley’s son Frank Jr. (Miko Hughes), despite the fact that Grace can’t stand him. Initially Mr. Sheffield is on Fran’s side, but when he realizes that Frank is Bradley’s son, he encourages it. Fran takes them to the park where Frank Jr.’s poor behavior leads Fran to lightly strike him with a baguette. This leads to his father calling Sheffield and threatening to get a lawyer involved. He tries to head this off by inviting the Bradleys over for dinner. As Niles struggles to keep the cold in a broken refrigerator, Fran delivers a half-hearted apology that isn’t good enough for Bradley. Things turn even worse when Chester nips at Bradley, and he demands that the dog be put to sleep. C.C. is willing to go along with it, but Sheffield steps in tells Bradley he is tired of kissing up to him and throws him out. After the play premieres Sheffield, Fran, and C.C. wait for the reviews to come in, then hears from the reporter (Nick Salamone) that Frank Bradley is out from food poisoning – thanks to the broken refrigerator – and instead the reporter took the opinion of the ‘common man on the street’… which turns out to be Fran, who proclaims the play a hit, and earns a big kiss from Mr. Sheffield. The refrigerator repairman (Dan Aykroyd) from Frost Busters shows up displaying his typical plumber’s crack. Tia Riebling is the mother in the park. 10/31/18
• 019. The Gym Teacher – 4/6/1994
  • When Maggie tries to get out of going to school, Fran finds out that she is just trying to avoid gym class because of her tyrant gym teacher Mrs. Wickervich Stone (Rita Moreno), which happens to be the same teacher that Fran spent her high school years trying to avoid. Fran goes to class with Maggie and is once again intimidated by the teacher, and vows to help Maggie train in gymnastics so she can get through her final exam. Meanwhile Mr. Sheffield is facing a demon from his past when he agrees to hire famous actor Alan Beck (Joseph Bologna), to whom he was once an assistant and was constantly bullied. Sheffield and Fran both encourage each other to stand up to their bullies. Maggie does terrible on her gymnastics test and Stone looks forward to failing her, but then swallows her whistle and is saved by Fran, which forces Stone to give her an A. While Beck is making more demands, Sheffield lays down the law and tells Beck that he’s making the rules and that he will fire him if he doesn’t cooperate. Beck thinks he’s bluffing until he sees a room full of actors (Bryan Clark, Christopher Carroll) auditioning for the part, causing him to fold with his demands. Tracy Kerestes is a student. 8/2/19
• 020. Ode to Barbra Joan – 4/14/1994
  • C.C.’s father Stewart Babcock (Robert Culp) comes for a visit, and when Fran finds out that he is part of the consortium backing Barbra Streisand’s (Loren Michaels) tour and has front row tickets and backstage passes, Fran confesses she is Barbra’s biggest fan. When C.C. states that she thinks Barbra is overrated, Stewart offers his extra ticket to an ecstatic Fran. When Stewart takes Fran out of an afternoon of shopping for the event, C.C. starts to get worried that Fran might one day become her ‘mother’. Meanwhile, Brighton is struggling with being a benchwarmer and right fielder on his baseball team. When Mr. Sheffield has to tell Brighton that he can’t make it to a Mets game when he gets an offer to speak at a Theatre Guild symposium, Fran lectures him that he should be spending time with his son. Fran then begins to feel bad that Stewart isn’t taking his daughter to the show. After getting all dressed up for the show and given accessories by her mother for the big event, Fran tells Stewart that he needs to reach out to his daughter and take her. Stewart is touched by her effort and gives her a hug, only to be spotted by C.C., who think there is more going on. Fran gives C.C. motherly advice when she locks herself in the bathroom and manages to reconcile her to her father. As C.C. and her father head out to the show, everyone compliments Fran on her selfless act. Inspired, Mr. Sheffield offers to take Brighton to the game, but he has made other plans. Fran and her mother are able to listen to the concert over the phone, and Barbra gives them a special greeting. 8/2/19
• 021. Frannie’s Choice – 4/27/1994
  • Fran finds out from Val that her ex-boyfriend Danny has broken up with Heather Biglow, the same girl that he had dumped Fran for. Fran returns to the bridal shop to flaunt her stuff to show him what he missed out on, but he is quickly able to seduce her with a kiss and asks her to marry him. Fran is unsure, so she goes and talks to her mother, who hopes that it was Mr. Sheffield who had proposed. Nevertheless, they both decide it is in her best interest to get married. She breaks the news to Mr. Sheffield and C.C., who is ecstatic about it. Sheffield is clearly upset but treats the situation professionally. When she tells the kids, they are all heartbroken and storm out of the room. When Danny comes to pick her up, the girls have calmed down, but Brighton is still furious and refuses to pretend to be happy for her. Sheffield blurts out that she is throwing away her life for a Neanderthal. Frannie decides that she has outgrown Danny, and even his seductive kiss won’t change mind. C.C. is devastated and tries to convince Danny to win her back. Danny merely hits on C.C.. Everyone goes out to celebrate. CBS producer Jeff Sagansky appears as himself, chatting with Fran on a plane, where she tells him that her life would make a great sitcom, and then proceeds to tell him the same story that is sung in the show’s lead-in. 3/11/20
• 022. I Don’t Remember Mama – 5/16/1994
  • With Mother’s Day coming up, Mr. Sheffield tries to distract the children, so they don’t have to think about their late mother. They join a country club and are told its manager (Miriam Flynn) that there is a mother-daughter pageant coming up. Grace wants to join it with Fran, and even though Mr. Sheffield doesn’t think it is a good idea, he allows it. They work on the talent competition whereby Grace saws Fran in half. On the day of the competition, a competitive mother and daughter named Bobbi Jo (Leann Hunley) and Betty Jo (Madison Wright) report that Fran and Grace aren’t really related. Grace runs out of the competition saying that her mother is dead. Mr. Sheffield’s fears are realized, but Grace feels more guilty because she says she doesn’t remember her mother. Mr. Sheffield agrees to talk about her more, and they head back to the pageant, where Fran and Grace perform I Can Do Anything Better Than You, with their heads upside and their chins painted as eyes. Their skit is popular but following them is Patti LaBelle (herself) and her daughter (Kimberly Natasha Ali) and she performs New Attitude. Fran and Grace are awarded with runner-up titles. Back home they watch videos of Fran as a child with her mother, and then Mr. Sheffield brings out a video of the kids with their mother Sara (Bess Armstrong). Maggie says she remembers her. 3/11/20

SEASON 2

• 023. Fran-Lite – 9/12/1994
  • Fran and Niles are both thrilled that the kids are returning to school, but Brighton isn’t very pleased to be staring junior high since he realizes in gym class that he is ‘smaller’ than the other boys. Fran doesn’t know how to delicately handle the issue, so she shares this with Mr. Sheffield to fumble through. The next day Brighton seems completely over it, and then Fran realizes that he skipped gym class. While discussing this with him, she also realizes that he was literally referring to his height relative to the other boys in class, and not his physical manhood. Meanwhile Esquire has ranked Mr. Sheffield as their third most eligible list. He however has no interest in dating as he considers himself a widow and not a bachelor. Fran and Val try to cheer him up by taking him out for a night on the town in his limo, as long as he pretends he doesn’t know them as to not scare off any suitors. They wind up waiting outside the club in a long line, but soon the doorman (Sherman Augustus) recognizes him and take him inside. He lives up to his word and claims not to know the girls, so they never get in. While inside he meets a woman named Leslie (Tracy Kolis) whom he arranges another date with. She is nearly the spitting image of Fran, both looking and sounding almost exactly like her. Niles and C.C. both recognize this, but both Fran and Mr. Sheffield seem oblivious to the fact. That night after the date, Fran waits up for him to get home and finds out that he compares going out with Leslie to ordering champagne and getting ginger ale… they look alike but don’t make him feel the same. 6/22/20
• 024. The Playwright – 9/19/1994
  • Brighton has been studying with a nerdy girl named Brooke (Bonnie Morgan) who hints that she would like him to take her to the seventh grade dance. Fran encourages Brighton to ask her to go with him, and eventually he caves in. However when he hears his friends (Myles Sheridan, Benjamin Kimball Smith) making fun of her, he blows her off and pretends that he never asked her. Fran overhears this and lectures him about how rude it was on the way home in the cab. The cab driver Jeffrey Needleman (Richard Kind) gets involved in the conversation and it turns out that Fran had snubbed him when they were in high school together, but had promised to go out with him ‘someday’. Brighton puts her on the spot to accept the date, and although she tries to find every excuse possible to get out of it, she eventually has no choice but to show up and meet him at a restaurant. Amidst all of his strangeness, she finds out that he is an aspiring playwright. Jeffrey invites her to do The Hustle on the dance floor, and after Fran enjoys doing it, he asks her to marry him. When she declines, he climbs out on the ledge and threatens suicide. To keep him from jumping, Fran offers to have Mr. Sheffield read his manuscript. She scrambles home and begs Mr. Sheffiled to come with her to the restaurant and read it while Jeffrey waits on the ledge. He ends up loving it and decides to option it, causing an excited Jeffrey to fall off the ledge and land in a mountain of garbage. Meanwhile Brighton is feeling guilty about dumping Brooke, and is also concerned that she won’t help him get a good grade on their Science project, so he asks her to again. He is afraid his friends will shred him, but when Brooke shows up for the dance, she is made up and beautiful. Maggie has a huge crush on Grace’s ballet teacher, who Fran has to tell her is gay. Jay Robinson is the maitre’d.  6/23/20
• 025. Everybody Needs a Bubby Sometimes – 9/26/1994
  • Fran goes to see a Broadway show with her mother and Bubby Yetta, during which they fight constantly. Fran’s mother then drops the bomb that Yetta’s nursing home is being fumigated, and asks Fran if she can stay with her. Fran runs it past Mr. Sheffield, and he reluctantly agrees to let her stay there. He begins to worry about her bad influence on the kids when she smokes, watches dirty movies, and brings her lover Saul Kanazel (Ralph Manza) into their bedroom. Meanwhile Mr. Sheffield also worries about Maggie and how involved she is getting with her new boyfriend Greg (Barry Watson), so she grounds Maggie, who tells him that she hates him. Yetta encourages Maggie to apologize, so Mr. Sheffield softens and lets her go on a picnic with Greg. However once he again realizes how bad Yetta’s influence is, he starts to regret the decision, also leading him to get angry at Fran for bringing her into the house. Yetta also thinks that Fran is married to Mr. Sheffield and that the kids are hers, and advises Fran to get rid of C.C. because she is threatening her ‘marriage’. Sheffield and Fran become really concerned when Yetta tells her that she advised Maggie to ‘go for it’. But it turns out that she actually told that to Grace, who has been worried, partly thanks to Brighton, that the world is going to blow up. When Maggie gets home from her picnic, she tells Fran that she actually decided to cool it with Greg, and that if she had wanted to be more serious, she would have discussed it with Fran. 10/8/20
• 026. Material Fran – 10/3/1994
  • C.C. hosts a social event of rich wives at the house, and one of the guests is an old classmate from Flushing High who she recognize as Kathy Marie O’ Malley, but she claims to be socialite Katherine Porter (Judith Hoag). C.C. rushes Fran off, and shares the information with Val. Kathy then sneaks into the kitchen and lets her hair down somewhat and re-connects with Fran and Val, but seems disappointed that Fran is only a nanny. Still she offers to set up Fran with a millionaire friend of her husband Richard (Edward Penn), and Fran accepts. Before she leaves, she uses reverse psychology to get Mr. Sheffield to hook Maggie up with tickets for the Stone Temple Pilots concert. She also convinces Grace to attend a sleepover, even though it means leaving her stuffed animal behind. When Fran’s date Theodore Timmons (Efrem Zimablist Jr.) shows up, she is taken aback to see how old he is.  The next morning, the house is filled with flowers from her date, and she is in a better mood than expected. Mr. Sheffield and Niles both make fun of his age, and when Theo comes to see Fran, Mr. Sheffield is clearly jealous and irritated. Theo flies Fran and the Porters to Paris for dinner, but Fran gets irritated quickly when all Theo wants to do is work while she gets no attention from him. She comes back home and decides to break it off, lamenting that she needs a man who needs her… while under her nose, Mr. Sheffield is contemplating whether to give the concert tickets to Maggie, and Fran gives him great advice. They wind up going along and sitting a couple of rows behind. As they talk about how a good couple would share things together, they share a hot dog and a soda. Later Fran takes Grace to the sleepover, where she finds that all of the other girls have brought their stuffed animals along. 10/8/20
• 027. Curse of the Grandmas – 10/10/1994
  • Fran is excited because her one-year anniversary with the Sheffields is coming up, and when Mr. Sheffield asks her to make sure she is free on that night, she starts to drop hints for gift ideas. Meanwhile Fran, as the troop mother of Grace’s Red Robin troop, takes the girls to Grandma Yetta’s nursing home so that each girl can adopt a grandmother. Unfortunately Grace’s new ‘grandmother’ is dead on arrival. Later one of the girls’ mothers Mrs. Livingston (Nancy Linari) stops by the house and talks to Fran about needing some new domestic help. Fran thinks she’s talking about her, until she reveals that it is Niles. Fran talks to Mr. Sheffield about it, and is told that people are always trying to lure Niles away. She also finds out that the Saturday plans are actually to go to the Center of Performing Arts with C.C., where they are nominated for an award. Fran begins to give Mr. Sheffield the cold shoulder and he can’t figure out why. Fran takes Grace back to the nursing home to try for another grandmother, and this one has died too. Grace talks Yetta into being her grandmother for the afternoon. Yetta survives, but is bored to death by Grace’s stories. Niles finally tells Mr. Sheffield why Fran is so angry. He is dumbfounded that she would think about that, but nevertheless when he and C.C. win the award, he gives Fran a shoutout on the air, causing C.C. to faint. She is appreciative when he gets home, but inquires why no one has ever asked for her services. He tells her that no woman would ever want a beautiful woman like her in the house tempting their husband. Unfortunately she overhears him telling Niles that he made that up on the spot. 1/25/21
• 028. The Nanny-Napper – 10/17/1994
  • During a crowded subway ride with the kids on a Sunday afternoon, Fran offers to help a Russian woman (Nancy Lenehan) who can’t speak English and has her hands full with kids. She winds up holding her baby, but the woman forgets to grab the baby when she gets off the subway. Fran and the kids don’t realize she’s gone until the subway has left the station. She brings the baby home and even gives it a name as she gets closer to it. She and Mr. Sheffield, who is irritated by the inconvenience, try to take it to the police station but can’t get through the Gay Pride parade. Eventually Mr. Sheffield starts to warm up to the baby as well, and it brings back memories of his own kids. As they are taking care of it, a news bulletin comes on the air stating that Fran is wanted for the kidnapping of the baby. She and Mr. Sheffield head directly to the police station, followed by Niles and C.C., who have trouble maneuvering through the parade. Fran is strip-searched by a manly female police officer, and is getting ready to be hauled off to jail, when she sees the Russian woman, who begins shouting at her. When Fran mentions that this is like something out of The Young & the Restless, the lady makes a connection and understands that it was all an accident. The desk sergeant Dick Giordano (Dayton Callie) releases her to go home. As the kids make ice cream because they’re depressed about missing the baby, Grace suggests that Fran and her father get married and make one of their own, which they both fumble through trying to comment about. Lawrence A. Mandley is the policeman. Anika Marinelli is the prostitute who pretends to know C.C. Bob Clendenin is the bum on the subway. 1/26/21
• 029. A Star Is Unborn – 10/24/1994
  • An avant garde director named Philipe (Richard Portnow) wants to direct a new version of Romeo and Juliet, and asks to use Fran to as Juliet. When she feels that Mr. Sheffield and others don’t think she can do it, she becomes determined to prove them wrong. She rehearses with Niles, and then with Mr. Sheffield, and it clear they both enjoy the kissing scene. However when Mr. Sheffield is left home alone with the kids, and tries to fend of Maggie’s pleas to go to the Hamptons with her friends for the weekend, he becomes irritated with Fran being at rehearsal until late into the evening, The two argue about it to the point that they stop speaking to each other. Later C.C. takes delight when she finds out that Phillipe is trying to tank the play for a tax write-off and that is why he hired Fran. During the rehearsal, in which they destroy most of the set while working on a scene with Romeo (Peter Marc Jacobson) and Juliet ascending to heaven, Mr. Sheffield shows up to tell Fran the truth so she isn’t humiliated on opening night. She guesses he is going to tell her that they need her at home and she doesn’t belong in the show, and admits that she is right. He tells her that is what he was going to say, and she agrees to come home… and save her acting debut for one of his plays. Maggie attempts to use one of her tactics to get Mr. Sheffield agree to let Maggie go to the Hamptons by waiting until he’s about to fall asleep. However, he is on to her game. Martha Gehman is the actress Betty. 5/21/21
• 030. Pishke Business – 10/31/1194
  • Fran is giving her mother’s canasta group a tour of the house, when actor Ben Vereen (himself) walks in with Mr. Sheffield, who is working on a new play with him. Sylvia and her group donate their canasta winnings – aka their pishke – for $25,000. Later Mr. Sheffield hosts another donor, this one the local garbageman, named Charles Haste (Wallace Shawn) who plans to donate half a million dollars. It is a rainy night, and C .C. unknowingly stolen Haste’s cab and hit him with an umbrella, so Fran has to pose as C.C. Haste is smitten with her and asks her on a dinner date, so Fran has to have him pick her up at C.C.’s apartment. Fran meets with C.C. first so she can brush up on her knowledge of the theater, then C.C. hides in the closet when he shows up at her place. Sheffield then shows up with second thoughts, after feeling guilty for ‘selling’ Fran for a donation. However when he learns that Haste has now doubled the amount to a million dollars, he reverts back to be all for it again. However, Haste then tells Fran that he wants to cut out Sheffield altogether and do the play without him. Sheffield then reveals himself hiding in the closet with C.C. and throws him out. Fran is impressed that Mr. Sheffield was worried about her. Later Fran is faced with the difficult task that the play has gone belly-up. However, before she can tell her, Mr. Sheffield tells Fran that he is going to invest and produce the play himself. 5/21/21
• 031. Stock Tip – 11/7/1994
  • C.C. is hoping to invest Mr. Sheffield’s earnings in a beach house, but he wants to look around for more sound investments. Meanwhile, Fran is getting ready to go grocery shopping – and man-hunting – with Grace. Mr. Sheffield thinks that anyone she would meet at the store would be beneath her, but she does in fact meet a handsome, well-dressed man who works on Wall Street named Glen Mitchell (Corbin Bernsen). They chat and hit it off, while Grace is filling the shopping cart with cereal. The next morning while eating the cereal, Brighton realizes that he dresses like Snap on the Rice Krispies box, so Fran agrees to take him shopping. Mr. Sheffield is surprised that Fran is dating someone from the grocery store, but when he meets Glen, he is more than impressed by fact that Glen is a big fan of his work, and appreciates the artwork in his house. When Glen gives him a stock tip, he decides to go with it, and writes a big check over $100,000 to bring to him at the club. Nanny takes Brighton clothes shopping, and when they stop at a vendor to buy a hot dog, Fran realizes that the vendor is Glen. She starts to worry about the potential risk of taking Glen’s advice. She even tries to butter up C.C. to get her to stop him. C.C. refuses to help, so Frank goes to the club herself, where the doorman (Jack Knight) tells her that there are no women allowed in the club. Fran is able to sneak in by dressing up as a man and wearing a fake beard and mustache and calling himself Ed Wilbur. Fran gets to overhear all sorts of men’s talk, including how Mr. Sheffield says he has her wrapped around his finger. Finally she is able to wrestle the check away from them and winds up punching Mr. Sheffield and throwing Glen against a book shelf and knocking him out. She reveals herself to Sheffield and Glen, and tells him that she would have dated him regardless of his job, but now all trust it gone. Back at home, Fran tends to Mr. Sheffield’s black eye. Brighton sports his new skater-type clothing, but nearly heads to the park with his ghetto blaster playing The Sound of Music soundtrack. Honey Lauren is the waitress who hits on ‘Ed Wilbur’. 9/17/21
• 032. The Whine Cellar – 11/14/1994
  • Fran and her mother Sylvia are working together to plan Sylvia’s supposedly-50th birthday party. Mrs. Sheffield and C.C. won’t be attending because they are spending the weekend at a party at Gene Shalit’s house. C.C. believes this will be the time they finally get together because they are sharing a guest cottage. C.C. calls and leaves a message for Sheffield that she’ll pick him up at his place to catch the train, but Niles neglects to give him the message. Maggie is interested in meeting boys at the party, but Fran warns her about Cousin Irving (Christopher Brand) being ugly, so Maggie spend the evening avoiding him, but then finds out he is quite attractive… and offended when Maggie tells him that she’s been avoiding Irving all night. C.C. goes down to the wine cellar to pick up some to take on the train, but when the handle falls off the door, she locks herself in. Fran comes down to get some more Burgundy to put in the sangria, but fails to hold the door open before it closes, leaving her and C.C. down there together. As C.C. drinks more and more, the occupy themselves by C.C. allowing Fran to do her hair and makeup. Fran also tries to trip a fire alarm, but only winds up cutting the power to the overhead fan. Upstairs at the party, Fran’s grandmother Yetta takes Brighton around to relatives and tries to get them to give him money, then they split it. C.C. and Fran admit how attractive they find Mr. Sheffield, with C.C. even admitted she’s obsessed with him, and warns Fran that she will also be doomed to remain a spinster as long as she lives there. Mr. Sheffield then returns looking for C.C, and Niles tells him that Fran is also missing. He finds them both in the cellar and frees them, and naturally C.C. tells Sheffield that Fran has been talking bad about him. As they are leaving, Fran sends C.C. back for her purse and then locks her in again. As the party ends, Niles admits that he spent the last hour with Fran’s well-stacked cousin Sophie. Fran tells Mr. Sheffield that C.C. has been insulting him, even though the insults she mentioned were ones that Fran actually said. Sheffield confides in Fran that he knows C.C. has a thing for him, but he has never shown any signs of interest. Mort Drescher is Uncle Stanley. 9/16/21
• 033. When You Pish Upon a Star – 11/21/1994
  • C.C. tries to talk Mr. Sheffield into hiring a child sitcom star named Jack Walker (J.D. Daniels), star of the series Royal Flush, to star in his revival of Oliver! Jack wants to get into more serious acting, and Fran champions him to Sheffield as well, so he agrees. Jack flies to New York ahead of his parents, so Mr. Sheffield has him stay in their house. Fran is excited to have him there, but he winds up proving to be a sexist little pest. Fran has a hard time reigning him in, but thinks he’s also a terrible influence on Brighton, when he brings home two older women (Bonnie Biehl as Heidi, and Mijanou as the other one). Niles doesn’t have much problem with Jack, as he gives him a $100 tip every time Niles does anything for him. When Fran tries  lay down the law, Jack threatens to call his agent to have her fired. Fran criticizes him and tells him to start acting like a normal boy, instead of just making money for everyone else. Jack begins thinking, and tells Mr. Sheffield that he wants to quit acting altogether and wants to be let out of the contract. With so much investors’ money on the line, Sheffield tells Fran that she needs to take him out to dinner and talk him out of quitting acting. Although Fran is thrilled about the high dollar dinner, especially when she meets Bob Barker (himself) at the restaurant, she has trouble convincing Jack to embrace his lifestyle. In fact, he cries on her shoulder and tells her how much he hopes Sheffield will let him out of the contract. Fran finally talks Mr. Sheffield to cancel his contract no matter how much it costs. Jack says his goodbyes to everyone, leaves the house. and then they all immediately see newscaster Liz Smith announce on TV that he has negotiated with the producers of Royal Flush to receive $85,000 an episode if he can get out of hi Broadway contract. Sheffield immediately realizes that Jack made a sucker out of him. Lisa Thames aka Lisa Albert is the nanny on Royal Flush. Wayne C. Dvorak is the waiter. 3/15/22
• 034. Take Back Your Mink – 11/21/1994
  • With her new interest in the environment, Maggie takes issue with Fran doing her hair and using an aerosol can. She also tries to convince her father to go to an all night poetry reading to honor animals, but he won’t budge. Grace is raising two new gerbils named Mr. Sheffield and Ms. Fine. Fran attends the funeral of her great aunt Mima Fegah, and after the funeral, she, her mother, Yetta, her Uncle Jack, and Cousin Marsha get a copy of the will and read it together at the wake. After the other side of the family gets most of her belongings, they discover that Fran has inherited her prized mink that she won on The Price Is Right. Marsha is jealo9us and Fran’s mother is ecstatic. However, Fran remembers Maggie’s commitment to animals and the environment, and refuses to take it. Her mother becomes furious and won’t speak to her, and then sends the mink to her house anyway. After trying it on and falling in love with it, she sends it back anyway. Grace announces that Ms. Fine is having a baby and that Mr. Sheffield is the father, confusing everyone… until they realize she is talking about the hamsters. With her mother acting so stubborn, Fran asks Mr. Sheffield to invite her to dinner and try to talk some sense into her since she likes him so well. He agrees, but invites C.C. to come along to break the tension. He convinces her that Sylvia thinks the world of her, so she suddenly likes her in return. When Fran and her mother can’t come to terms, Mr. Sheffield has Fran sing her Sunrise, Sunset, and this wins her back. Maggie then tells Fran that she wants her to keep the coat after all. She also tells her father that she forgives him, but when he still won’t let her go to the reading, she throws a fit again. C.C. loves the coat and offers Fran $10,ooo for it, but Fran declines since it is a sentimental item. Sylvia, however, jumps at the change, and puts the coat directly on C.C. Later the gals decide to watch TV and come across the Dick Van Dyke Show. Fran says that Millie was a great character, but Yetta says she heard that the actress was difficult to work with… 3/15/22
• 035. The Strike – 11/28/1994
  • Opening night for Mr. Sheffield’s new musical Norma, based on the pro-Union film Norma Rae, is going to open in the evening, and although the family has previewed the 3-hour play with no intermission already, they are preparing to see it again. Brighton asks Fran if he can go to the mall that afternoon with his friend Kyle (Jason Stoll) that afternoon in New Jersey, with Kyle and his brother, who will be driving. She tells Brighton no, but then he turns to his father and gets him to allow him to go. Fran then complains to Mr. Sheffield that he needs to support Fran when she makes a call like that, and he agrees to do so. Kyle’s brother Peter Bidwell (Ron Melendez) stops over to introduce himself to Mr. Sheffield and claims that he will be the one driving. He is complimentary to Mr. Sheffield and compliments him on his work, and he almost gets Sheffield to change his mind again. However, Fran guesses that Peter is actually not the driver, but someone they hired from the Gap… and she is correct. Mr. Sheffield tries to punish Brighton by telling him that he can’t go to the play, but this actually thrills him. Fran talks Sheffield into ‘allowing’ him to go after all. That night at the theatre, they discover that the busboys are on strike, and Fran won’t cross the picket line. Sheffield is embarrassed by this and tries to pull her in, only to be photographed and splashed on the newspaper front page the next day. He is furious about the bad publicity, so when C.C. gets an offer for them to go onto the Sally Jessy Raphael Show, he thinks it might be a good opportunity to do damage control. When they get on the show, Sally Jessy Raphael (herself) discovers Fran in the audience and invites her to replace C.C. on the stage. Mr. Sheffield notes that he was upset because she didn’t support him, but she thought he needed to understand her reasons for not crossing, since it was always a core value of her family. He also says how she is important to him, and he wanted her there. An audience member (Marion Ramsey) points out that he says that he obviously cares about her. That night, Fran and Mr. Sheffield share champagne and reflect on the great interview, noting also that the hotel settled the strike with the busboys after the interview… although now she thinks they are paid too much. Roger Keller is the photographer. 7/17/22
• 036. I’ve Got a Secret – 12/12/1994
  • While the family is watching a Mummy movie, Mr. Sheffield brings someone (Heidi Thompson) home with their face covered in bandage and steals them away up to the guest room. Fran is incredibly curious, but can only get the barest of information out of Mr. Sheffield: it’s a celebrity woman who has had plastic surgery and is hiding from the public. She tries to get the information out of C.C., but she hasn’t been told either. They both team up briefly to try and search Sheffield’s laptop computer and file cabinet, but he catches them in the act. Niles claims he knows who it is, but doesn’t care and won’t tell. Meanwhile, Brighton brings home a parrot that belongs to his friend Justin Turnbull, who has to get rid of it because it keeps talking about an affair between Justin’s father Raymond (Roger Kern) and their maid Lola. Mr. Sheffield and Niles already know all about it as it has been the talk all over the steam room lately. Fran keeps trying to figure out the mystery guest by using process of elimination of all celebrities who are in court or rehab. Mr. Sheffield claims that women can’t keep secrets, so this is why he refuses to tell her. Finally she decides to enter the room, where she finds the celeb asleep. Fran tries to remove her sunglasses and the bandage around her mouth, but winds up with the woman suckling Fran’s finger. Mr. Sheffield then enters and reads her the riot act. The celeb finally reveals herself to be Cher. Although Fran is tempted to tell her cross-dressing cousin Ira (Marvin Nathan) whose specialty is Cher, the only one she accidentally spills the beans to is her friend Val. It isn’t long before the press surround the house trying to get a glimpse of Cher. Naturally Mr. Sheffield blames Fran, who admits that she told Val, but Val claims that the only person she told is her priest. Fran then has the idea to try and appease the press by having Cher make a brief photo op for the press if they promise to leave her alone… but instead of using the real Cher, they bring in Cousin Ira, who is way too fat to even resemble her. Justin Turnbull then comes over to reclaim the parrot, and he admits that he is the one who tipped off the press. Sheffield had told him in the steam room and he promised not to tell, but claims that Sheffield had blabbed about his extra-marital affairs after having promised not to tell. 7/17/22
• 037. Kindervelt Days – 1/2/1995
  • Fran goes over to her mother’s place with the kids to help clear her old stuff out of the attic. Among the treasures she finds are a Burt Reynolds nude centerfold, and old erotic books, a plastic lemon tree, and a ‘Win a Date with Erik Estrada’ entry form that her mother should have sent in 1979. She also finds an old summer camp Kindervelt photo, and it reminds her of her competition with campmate Judy Silverman (Morgan Brittany). When she gets home, she gives Niles the lemon tree, and Brighton takes interest in the sex books. Val asks Fran about going to the upcoming Kindervelt reunion, but Fran doesn’t want to face Judy, who she’s convinced is probably happily married by now. Val suggests that Fran ask Mr. Sheffield to go with her, and when she finally gets up the courage to do so, he declines and says how much he hates reunions. Fran gets so desperate that she considers asking her ex-fiancé, and worse yet, Niles. Then she receives a visit from actor Erik Estrada (himself), who received the magazine entry form and has been advised that it would make good publicity to go to the reunion with her. Mr. Sheffield then has a change of heart and thinks it would be thrilling for Fran to walk into the reunion with him on her arm. When he tells her, she is too busy to even hear him, as she is calling Val to tell her about Erik Estrada. It is clear that Sheffield is jealous that Estrada is taking her. At the reunion, all of the women are thrilled when Estrada shows up with Fran, and all take pictures with him. However, he has to leave to take his family to the movies since it was only meant as a publicity stunt in the first place, before Judy even shows up. Once she gets there, she introduces her hunky boyfriend Blake Glickman (Robert Lee Jacobs) to Fran, who has no one there anymore to show off. She considers grabbing the janitor, but Mr. Sheffield shows up at the last minute and introduces himself as Fran’s date. When Blake hears who he is, he goes into full gay mode and says that he had danced in one of Sheffield’s plays, embarrassing Judy. Fran is grateful and a little smitten by Mr. Sheffield’s gesture. The two dance together as everyone watches… until he dips her and Fran’s dress splits. Brighton uses one of Fran’s erotic novels to help write a paper for school. C.C. tries to quit smoking, so Niles makes sure there is plenty of junk food around for C.C. to eat for comfort… and make her fat. 11/11/22
• 038. Canasta Masta – 1/9/1995
  • Brighton has been glued to the TV watching a Gilligan’s Island marathon, but Mr. Sheffield wants him to get out for some physical activity. Fran takes him to the batting cages, but he gets hit in the crotch by a ball. Meanwhile, Fran and her Flushing Queens Canasta foursome along with her mother and Yetta, lets Brighton sit in on their team since their teammate Gert moved to Florida. They allow Brighton to sit in as their fourth, and he loves it so much, they invite him to join the team. This means he can play on their team in the upcoming tournament in Atlantic City. Mr. Sheffield is annoyed that this is Brighton’s ‘sport’ or choice, but he is talked into being supported and agrees to go on the trip. Niles is tapped to go along and babysit the kids, but he feigns illness so he doesn’t have to go. The next time the ladies get together, Fran’s mother that Gert moved back after being attacked by an alligator, and Fran is now off the team. She is bitter and threatens not to go along on the trip until Mr. Sheffield offers to get tickets to see Steve and Eydie. When they get to Atlantic City, Brighton pretends he is ill and tells the ladies that he is off the team, doing this because he wants to let Fran play in the tournament. He tells his father he learned being compassionate not from his father, but from Gilligan. Fran tells everyone that now she won’t play even if her mother begs her. However, when Yetta comes and tells her that she’s back in, Fran jumps at the chance. She also runs into Steve Lawrence (himself) and Eydie Gorme (herself) in the casino, but thinks they are merely impersonators. Fran wanders how Niles is doing being sick at home, although he is actually dancing to Old Time Rock and Roll ala Tom Cruise in Risky Business. Later, Gert quits the team again, and she is replaced by Steve and Eydie. 11/11/22
• 039. The Will – 1/16/1995
  • Mr. Sheffield adds Fran into his will which indicates that she will get custody of the kids if he would die. Meanwhile, he also has the opportunity to meet with an investor named Doug Emerson (Michael Winters) who has only invested in Andrew Lloyd Weber’s plays up until now. Emerson recently had bypass surgery recently, so he sends along his specific food needs for dinner. After she hears that Mr. Sheffield has a doctor’s appointment for a stress test, and the finds the food needs, Fran begins to think that Mr. Sheffield had a heart condition, and this is why he is amending his will. Grace has a new friend named Erica (Garbrielle Boni) over for a tea party, but when Erica meets Brighton, she becomes obsessed with him and follows him all over the house. Fran’s friend Val thinks that Mr. Sheffield looks like he’s at death’s door, so Fran goes through great lengths to make sure he doesn’t strain himself. During dinner, whenever Mr. Sheffield tries to use butter, salt, sour cream, or hollandaise sauce, Fran puts a stop to it and slips the items onto Emerson’s plate. Eventually Sheffield pulls her aside to find out what is going on. He tells Fran that the note was for Doug Emerson, and she laughs about putting the food on his plate… but then feels terrible when Emerson winds up in the hospital. The doctor (Anne Betancourt) reports that he merely had gastro-indigestion. Fran agrees that she will sign the will and take custody of the kids if she is needed. Later, Fran tells Brighton how Erica got back with her boyfriend so she should be leaving him alone. He tells her how ridiculous he found it that she was drooling all over him. However, when Maggie brings home her pretty friend Pamela (Rochelle Bond), Brighton is so taken aback with a crush that he faints. 4/16/23
• 040. The Nanny Behind the Man – 1/23/1995
  • Gracie writes a letter to President Bill Clinton and awaits a response. Meanwhile, Mr. Sheffield announces that he wants to produce a play by famous playwright Dakota Williams (George Murdock), but he is in competition with Andrew Lloyd Weber to produce it. Fran talks him into fighting for the play by inviting Williams over for dinner. Fran agrees to help find him a date for the evening. Maggie tells Fran that a geek named Clifford wants to help her study but is afraid to be seen with him. Fran advises her that computer nerds often wind up insanely rich. On the night of the dinner, both Mr. Sheffield and C. C. are stunned when the date that Fran picked out winds up being Grandma Yetta. However, they are equally shocked when Williams takes an immediate liking to her. After having a wonderful night with her, Williams agrees to let Mr. Sheffield produce the play. He is so pleased that he keeps referring to Fran as his right arm, much to C.C. irritation. However, Yetta then tells Mr. Sheffield that Williams hasn’t finished the play yet and is suffering writer’s block. Fran then tries to think of a way to get Mr. Sheffield out of the deal, so they talk Yetta into breaking it off with him. Later, C.C. breaks the news to Mr. Sheffield that Williams, while reeling from the breakup with Yetta, finished the play in one night and then made a deal with Andrew Lloyd Weber to produce the show. As Sheffield chases after Fran to yell at her, they find Bill Clinton’s brother Roger Clinton (himself) downstairs after being sent to give Grace the President’s regards. Mrs. Sheffield volunteers Fran to help work on Clinton’s next campaign, which is his gift as a Republican. When Clifford asks out Maggie, she laments how her friends are dating football studs. Fran warns that the typical progression of a high school football star is to grow a beer gut and work in a gas station. 4/16/23
• 041. A Fine Friendship – 2/6/1995
  • While Mr. Sheffield takes Maggie and Brighton to the first game of the Broadway show softball league, Gracie stays home to have a play date with her friend Willie (Jake Richardson). Niles tries to tell Fran to look her best around Willie’s nanny Kurt Jacobs (Christopher Rich), but when she meets him, Fran picks up on him that he is gay right away. Nevertheless, they have a great time together and Fran bemoans the fact that they would make a great couple if only he was straight. Grace and Willie fall asleep while playing up in her room, and consequently it becomes too late to see The Lion King. When Fran and Kurt start watching All My Children, she catches him up on the plot and mentions that one of the characters is ‘late’ and must be pregnant. Maggie then thinks that since she ‘slept’ with Willie and they were late for the show, she must be pregnant. Later, while Fran and Kurt are upstairs and she is trying on dresses, Kurt makes a move and starts to kiss her. Mr. Sheffield is aghast when he walks by the room and sees them. Fran freaks out and tells Kurt that she though he was gay. Mr. Sheffield yells at Fran for trying to seduce Kurt, who decides to leave and gives Fran a kiss goodbye. Fran suddenly realizes that she’s only wearing her bra. Mr. Sheffield tries to help her quickly cover up with her top, as Niles passes by the room and thinks that Sheffield is disrobing her. Niles wants to tells C.C. but Sheffield tells him not to say anything… so he writes it down. Wilie tries to to tend to Grace by bringing her pickles and ice cream. When Fran realizes what they are talking about, she tells them that they are not having a baby. Mr. Sheffield confesses to Niles how much he is upset by Fran dating Kurt but doesn’t know why. Niles uses fruit as an analogy about how he had no interest in eating an apple until Mr. Sheffield wanted it for himself. Fran later confesses to Niles that there isn’t as much magic as she had hoped with Kurt, so he uses the same analogy with Fran and her pear. Frand winds up breaking it off with Kurt, and Mr. Sheffield apologizes for being so curt about their relationship. Fran tells Sheffield that she just wants someone who is going in the same direction as her, as they walk up the stairs together. 8/30/23
• 042. Lamb Chop’s on the Menu – 2/13/1995
  • C.C. needs to move out of her apartment temporarily to have her floors redone but cannot find a kennel for her dog Chester. Since Fran loves the dog, she offers to babysit the dog at the Sheffield house, much to Mr. Sheffield’s chagrin. Meanwhile, Maggie is expecting to get a call from her crush Jeremy Thatcher. When C.C. brings Chester over, she announces that she nailed down the rights to finance their first film called Lambchop: The Movie starring Shari Lewis (herself) and Lamchop. Chester stars causing issues when he poops in the house for Mr. Sheffield to step into. Shari shows up at the house to work out the deal and meet the family. Lambchop appears to be highly disturbed when C.C. shows up wearing lamb fur. Shari puts Lambchop to bed in the guest room. Val shows up at the house and wants to meet Lambchop, so they go up to the guest room to take a look at the puppet. While they are looking through Lambchop’s wardrobe, Chester sneaks into the bed and removes Lambchop and starts chewing on it. By the time they capture Chester, he is covered in remnants of the doll and assume that he ate it. When C.C. finds out what has happened she heads to Mr. Sheffield, but Fran follow and they have a slow-motion chase around the house. C.C. gets to Sheffield first, and she tells him that the star of the show has been eaten. Fran desperately tries to create a faux replica of Lambchop. Before Shari truly finds out what has happened to the doll, Niles finds Lambchop is found attached to a towel in the laundry. It is assumed that Chester actually dropped Lambchop down the laundry chute. Lambchop announces that she wants out of the deal, but when Fran threatens to get Miss Piggy, Shari acknowledges that Lambchop is overreacting, and is willing to discuss the terms of the contract privately. Fran and C.C. are thrown out of the room, and then Shari is thrown out as well, leaving Lambchop in Mr. Sheffield’s alone with him. Maggie’s date has to bring his father’s Lincoln to the drive-in movies instead of his tiny Miata. Since this leaves the big back seat open, Fran quickly claims the spots for herself and the other kids. 8/30/23
• 043. Close Shave – 2/20/1995
  • With mounting credit cards of her own, Fran suggests that Mr. Sheffield force Maggie to get a job so that she can learn some responsibilities. Fran helps get her started working as a volunteer candy striper at Belmont Hospital. Maggie’s new nurse boss (Christina Pickles) warns her that the work will be hard, but Maggie finds it rewarding. However, when Maggie’s boyfriend Peter Bidwell gets tickets for them to attend a Meat Puppets concert, Maggie thinks she can blow off the job since she’s not being paid. Meanwhile, C.C. is trying her hand at cooking, Mr. Sheffield tries the food and later starts to feel sick. Maggie talks to Fran about finding someone to fill in for her at work, and Fran reluctantly agrees to try and pass as a teenager and fill in for her at the hospital without telling her father. As Fran tries to secretly get dressed for the job, Mr. Sheffield starts to feel additional stomach pains. Later, while Fran is at the hospital gabbing with her mother on the phone, she sees Mr. Sheffield being wheeled into the room, having been diagnosed with an appendix that needs removed. A doctor (Steve Anderson) grabs Fran to help prepare him for surgery. When he asks her to shave him, she starts to shave his face, when he angrily tells her that he needs his groin shaved for surgery. Niles arrives with flowers as Fran is spraying shaving cream under his gown. The next day, Maggie returns to work at the hospital while Mr. Sheffield recovers. He tells Fran about a ‘dream’ he had as he was going under the anesthetic, during which he as married to C.C. and Fran was his nurse. When Fran sprays the whipped cream on the sundae she is making, suddenly the true events all come back to him. Lee Ryan is the patient with the broken leg. Gerry McIntyre is the orderly. 12/22/23
• 044. What the Butler Sang – 2/27/1995
  • Fran is surprised when she hears how great Niles sings It Was a Very Good Year to himself. She also tells Niles that her sister Nadine (Ellen Ratner) the caterer was just left by her husband Barry Cooperman (Ron Orbach). When Mr. Sheffield mentions that his main singer just left their next backers’ audition, Fran suggests that they use Niles. Both Mr. Sheffield and C.C. are all surprised with how great he sounds singing The Impossible Dream, and decide to ask him to step in. Fran then takes advantage of the situation and asks Mr. Sheffield if Nadine could come and do the cooking for the family. Nadine arrives, and she and Fran get along swimmingly, even setting themselves up as examples of sisterly love to Maggie and Grace when they start bickering. However, it is only a matter of minutes before Fran and Nadine start bickering over a sweater and get into a wrestling match. Niles starts forcing C.C. to do chores for him under threat of not appearing in the show. Fran and Nadine’s bickering intensifies, as Nadine tries to emulate Fran in the way she dresses and behaves. When she mentions how great of a guy she has in Mr. Sheffield, Fran tells her that there isn’t anything going on between them. Nadine sees this as a red light to go after him herself. Nadine starts in on Mr. Sheffield right away, but he is so impressed with her cooking that he is able to overlook her flirtation. When Fran notices Nadine coming into Mr. Sheffield’s room at night with a snack wearing a purple nightgown, Fran follows her in and takes off her robe to cover Nadine, all the while revealing that she is wearing the same purple nightgown. The sisters get into a slapping match, and Mr. Sheffield has to break it up. He tells Fran that he would throw Nadine out if she weren’t such a fine caterer. Later, Mr. Sheffield holds the backers audition at his house. While Nadine is preparing the food for the event, Barry shows up, expressing how jealous it makes him when his wife is preparing food for other men but not for him. They get into a fight, which spills over into the audition in the living room as Niles tries to sing a song called Once in a Lifetime. As he sings, Nadine, Barry, and Fran all yell and scream at each other in the hallway behind Niles. Mr. Sheffield is furious with the lot of them, while Barry is jealous that Mr. Sheffield is getting fed by Nadine. Fran advises Nadine to start serving Barry three meals a day, so she agrees to give him a spread whenever he wants. Mr. Sheffield demands that she get some food out there for the backers, and she agrees to give them everything for the pate, because that is reserved for her husband. C.C. reports that the backers hated the song, but were thrilled with the comedy routine going on in the background. 12/22/23

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