The Terrible Catsafterme

SEASON 1 – ABC

Created by Ozzie Nelson.

NOTE: This series is a spin-off of the radio program of the same name that aired between 1944-1954, itself being a spin-off of the radio program “The Red Skelton Show” on which the Nelson family regularly appeared

Theme music composed by William Loose and Emil Kadkin (or possibly by Basil George Adlam with Ozzie Nelson). NOTE: “Mary (I’m in Love with You)”, the same song heard on the radio program, by Fred Coots and Ozzie Nelson, was reportedly heard during the original airings, and is heard over the closing credits. Verne Smith is the show’s announcer. 

• 001. The Rivals – 10/3/1952
  • Hotpoint presents the adventures of the Nelson family, Ozzie Nelson (himself) and Harriet Nelson (herself), and their sons 15-year old David Nelson (himself) and 12-year old Ricky Nelson (himself). Ricky and David bicker because Ricky thinks that David is acting smug about winning out over their neighbor Will. When Harriet tells Ozzie that David’s classmate Nancy Baker (Eilene Janssen) has phoned and wants to come visit David, Ozzie starts worrying that Will and David are going to compete over her affections. Will’s father Erskin “Thorny” Thornberry (Don DeFore) and Ozzie discuss this and each think that their son takes after themselves as far as being ladies’ men. They also discuss their sons’ futures and end up feeling old when they start talking about grandchildren. Nancy comes to visit and awkwardly asks David to the dance amidst interruptions from Ozzie and Ricky. Later David is excited that he has beaten out Will… for captain of the football team. Neither David nor Will can take Nancy to the dance because it is the same day as their first football game. Ricky ends up being Nancy’s date. Carl Greyson is the announcer. 6/21/15

• 002. The Poet – 10/10/1952
  • David has an assignment to memorize a poem for English class. When Harriet goes looking through her poetry book, she finds an old poem that Ozzie had written her when they were courting. David decides to use Ozzie’s poem as the one he will memorize. Ozzie doesn’t remember the poem, but is quick to take the credit. As the word spreads to Thorny, he asks Ozzie if he’ll help him with Katherine’s birthday by writing one for her. Ozzie comes up with one off the cuff, but Thorny tells him to take his time to come up with something better. Meanwhile, Harriet talks to her Aunt Ellen (Ellen Corby) on the phone, and Ellen reminds her that a different boy named Clifford Henshaw. Harriet chooses not to tell Ozzie, who has taken his role as poet seriously and has bought himself a pipe and refused a haircut to appear more bohemian. As David gets the poem memorized, Ozzie sits down to type his poem, but realizes that he can’t type, so he pecks his way though the title Your Birthday Poem, erasing as he goes along. Thorny comes to see him and tells him that he now knows the poem was actually written by Lord Byron, as it is now printed on a blotter that he got from his insurance man. Ozzie confesses to Harriet that he didn’t write it, and Harriet admits that it was Clifford Henshaw. Ozzie becomes jealous of Clifford, but Harriet assures him that he’s married to Marilyn “Eager Lips” Bensfield. This then makes Harriet jealous, and she back Ozzie over a footstool. Thankfully his head is protected by his ‘long’ hair. Sponsored by Listerine. 6/25/22
• 003. The Pills – 10/17/1952
  • When Thorny brags about his weight loss and the competition he is in with his wife Katherine, and when Ozzie is unable to fit in the size 33 pants that Harriet bought him, Ozzie decides to go on a diet until he can fit in the pants. Ozzie finds out that druggist Mr. Miller (Bob Sweeney) is delivering reducing pills to the Thornberry house, and ends up taking some pills of his own. Unfortunately the pills he is taking are actually Ricky’s appetite pills, which makes it even more painful for him to stick to the diet. Ozzie then sends Ricky out to swap the pants for size 34’s so that he can quit the diet. When he tries them on, they are exceptionally large, but even though he admits that they’re 34’s he is surprises on how roomy they are. Then he realizes that they are actually the 36’s that David has picked up. It turns out that Harriet had been back for an even larger exchange as well, as she could not watch Ozzie suffer either. Thorny wins his bet, but says he hadn’t taken the reducing pills, but rather had been wearing a truss. Jack Wagner is an announcer on the TV. 6/21/15 (online)
• 004. The Fall Guy – 10/24/1952
  • When Ozzie finds out that David is giving up his Saturday afternoon movie because he has loaned money to one classmate and agreed to do the homework of another, he cautions David about being a pushover and letting people take advantage of him. Later when Thorny hints that his wife’s niece Shirley needs a date to a dance, Ozzie volunteers David. But David acts on his father’s advice and tells him that he’s sorry, but he can’t do it. Ozzie tries to awkwardly get out of his commitment with Thorny, while thinking about bribing David. Ultimately David meets Shirley on his own, and finds that he’s actually all too happy to take her to the dance. Sponsored by Listerine. 6/23/15
• 005. Halloween Party – 10/31/1952
  • With Halloween coming up, Ozzie is initially glad that Harriet and her friends haven’t planned on any Halloween parties, but the more he talks it over with Thorny, the more they decide that if the men are in charge of the party, they can create a list of scheduled activities that could make a party a success. They work diligently on the plans, agreeing that Ozzie will dress up as the devil and Thorny will be a Scotsman, but that no others will dress up. When the night of the party comes, they realize that neither of them have thought about where the party will be held. Harriet teases him, then admits that she and the wives had gotten together earlier and decided that it will be at the Thornberry’s house. Furthermore when he realizes that the women haven’t supplied food, he makes reservations for everyone at Hamburger Haven. Jerry Mathers and Vickie Churchill play child trick-or-treaters. William Haade plays an adult trick-or-treater. 6/23/15
• 006. Riviera Ballet – 11/7/1952
  • When a policeman (Herb Vigran) catches Ozzie parking in front of a fireplug, he spares him from getting a ticket but high pressures into buying tickets to the ballet Escapades Along the Riviera that the officer’s wife is selling. Meanwhile at home Clara Randolph (Florence Lake) is telling Harriet how her husband Joe brought home tickets to the ballet that promises to feature women at the beach in their bathing suits. When Ozzie presents Harriet with the tickets, she gives him the cold shoulder and he has no idea why. Ozzie then passes the tickets on to Thorny, who fills him in on what the ballet is about. While Ozzie is buying candy for Harriet to make up with her, Clara tells Harriet that Joe just informed her that the ballet takes place in 1870 when the swimsuits were far from skimpy. Harriet then tells Ozzie that she wants to go the ballet, and he is all too happy to comply. She then tells him that the ballet takes place in 1870… and he tells her that Joe made that up so that he could go to see it. Ozzie runs into the police officer again and finds out that the fireplug is fake. 8/20/15
• 007. David the Babysitter – 11/14/1952
  • The Nelsons’ neighbor Barbara Benson (Barbara Nelson) is planning an night out for her and her husband’s third anniversary, but her babysitter cancels on her at the last minute. Since she doesn’t want to impose on Harriet’s plans – tricking Ozzie into taking her to the movies – she accepts David’s offer to babysit for the evening. Ozzie is concerned about David being too irresponsible to handle the job, but allows it. He is too nervous to go to the movies, and he ends up grabbing Thorny and they pay a visit to David. Their bumbling ends up waking the baby (Laurie Callahan, voiced by Mary Nelson), and it is only David’s reading of the U.S. Constitution that gets him back to sleep. Ozzie returns home, lamenting that he didn’t trust David when Harriet seemed to have full confidence. However a returned apron that she had left on the baby carriage earlier implies that she too had visited David. Meanwhile Ozzie softly tells Harriet that her last batch of cookies weren’t up to their normal standards. 8/20/15 (online)
• 008. Ricky Goes to a Dance – 11/21/1952
  • Ricky gets a perfume-laden invitation to the Leap Year dance at the dancing school from Julie Thornberry. He accepts the invitation and heads off to the dance while Ozzie and Thorny argue as they brag about their boyhood dalliances. David stops by the dance to raid the snacks, and reports back to his parents that Ricky seems to only be dancing with Julie and no other girls. Ozzie is concerned that Ricky isn’t following proper etiquette, but Ricky says that he asked nearly all of the girls and they only giggled and refused him. His parents worry that Ricky is unpopular and going to get a complex… until Thorny stops by and tips them off that Julie had paid off the other girls not to accept his dance invitations. Ozzie compares this to a situation in his youth, although in his scenario all the girls paid one girl to keep asking him to dance. Despite Julie’s assertiveness, Rick heads out to play basketball with very tall Agnes Muller. 11/19/15
• 009. Day After Thanksgiving – 11/28/1952
  • The morning after Thanksgiving, Ozzie and the boys are so full from the turkey the day before that they can only bring themselves to drink orange juice for breakfast. Ozzie remarks that he is glad that they went to Harriet’s Aunt Ellen and that there are no leftovers because most people generally overdo it with making turkey dishes for the next week. Thorny tires to tempt Ozzie with leftovers, but Ozzie won’t budge. Aunt Ellen calls to offer some of the leftover turkey, but then realizes that she’ll have to serve it to her bridge club. The boys start getting jealous of the Thornberrys leftover turkey, and pretty soon Ozzie is craving it too, soon lamenting not having any turkey to Harriet and the neighbor girl Nancy. Ozzie visits the butcher Mr. Bigelow (Arthur Q. Bryan) to buy a turkey but they are out, instead recommending that they prepare veal, which can be made to taste like turkey. Harriet also decides to make veal croquettes, despite Ozzie’s disdain for veal, and pass it off as turkey. Everyone enjoys lunch, but Ozzie is wise to the fact that it was veal. However Harriet then tells Ozzie that she was actually able to secure some leftover turkey from Aunt Ellen, since the bridge club meeting did not end up being hosted by her. Ozzie maintains that he would have enjoyed lunch more if he knew that it were actually turkey. He and the boys then eat another round of turkey. Soon they have more turkey than they know what to do with when the butcher comes through with the turkey, Nancy’s mother sends over some of her leftovers, and Thorny 4/2/16 (online)
• 010. Thorny’s Gift – 12/5/1952
  • Ozzie buys a cigarette lighter for Thorny for his birthday and wraps it up with leftover wrapping in a giant box and mails it to him for his birthday. Three days pass and Thorny hasn’t commented on the gift from Ozzie, causing Ozzie to fret about the reason why. Meanwhile David turns in a notebook for science class of which he is quite proud, but receives a D grade on it. Ozzie encourages him to ask the teacher why, which he does and finds out that his grade was a mistake and actually referred to his first initial. Harriet urges Ozzie to follow his own advice and confront Thorny, who indicates to Ozzie that the package said “Do not open until Christmas” on it. Ozzie becomes further angered however when Thorny lets it slip that he couldn’t resist opening the gift. Thorny ends up apologizing and Ozzie invites him to dinner. Back at home, Thorny discovers that the lighter doesn’t work. 11/20/15
• 011. Harriet’s Hairdo – 12/12/1952
  • Harriet makes an appointment with her hairdresser Pierre (Fritz Feld), knowing only that she wants something ‘new’ that Ozzie will like. The next morning at breakfast, she tries to ask Ozzie about how he likes her to wear her hair, but he can’t take his nose out of his gangster book to give her a satisfactory answer. When she tells her friend Barbara (Barbara Eiler) about Ozzie’s lack of interest, she suggests that Harriet borrow her platinum blonde wig and wear it home. Harriet takes her suggestion, and when Ozzie sees her, he is taken aback in shock. He shows it to Thorny, who is shocked by the appearance as well. Ozzie doesn’t have the courage to tell her what he thinks of it, after just telling her how he always likes her choice of hair style and color. Later David and Ricky find the wig hanging on the doorknob in their parents’ room. They then tell Ozzie that their mother is pulling a fast one on him, so he retaliates by telling Harriet how much he likes the new blonde look, and discourages her from every going back to her dull, natural state. Harriet tells Ozzie she is going to run down to the beauty parlor in order to get it permanently colored that way then. Ozzie stops her, then realizes that Harriet had planted the wig out for the boys to find all along. Thorny then comes over wearing the wig, but Ozzie, who is once again deep into his book, pretends he doesn’t even notice. 11/23/21
• 012. Boys’ Christmas Money – 12/19/1952
  • David and Ricky hope to earn some money to buy their Christmas gifts by taking on a job. Although Harriet has her reservations, Ozzie gives his permission. Meanwhile Ozzie is too lazy to pick up the groceries that Harriet wants so he calls Miller’s Groceries to have them delivered. He also makes arrangements with Mr. Miller (Bob Sweeney) to hire the boys and agrees to give Miller the money to pay the boys. David gets a phone call telling him that he is hired and the boys head off to work. Ozzie begins to get worried when it starts storming that the boys will get caught in the rain delivering groceries. Mr. Miller shows up at the Nelson house delivering their groceries in the rain, and tells Ozzie that the boys never showed up for work. Harriet isn’t surprised because she worked out the same deal with Schultz’s bakery… but then finds out they’re not working there either. Ozzie and Harriet begin calling all over town to find the boys, who eventually show up at home and reveal that they were working in a window display at the Emporium. They’ve spent over half of their earnings taking a cab home in the rain though since calling home only yielded a constant busy signal while their parents were phoning all over town. 1/17/16
• 013. Late Christmas Gift – 12/26/1952
  • Christmas is over but Ozzie and David are still expecting their gift from Ozzie’s mother. As Ozzie waits, he is visited by Mr. Canfield (Franklin Pangborn), their insurance agent, and as the conversation turns toward aging and dying, Ozzie begins to get depressed. Ozzie is cheered up when he receives the gift from his mother, a flashy sports coat. David receives a large academic book. Thorny is very complimentary about Ozzie’s new coat and tells him how young it makes him look. Ozzie excitedly rushes down to Miller’s malt shop, where Ozzie thinks he was flirted with by some college girls. Ricky suggests to David that perhaps their Grandma Nelson accidentally switched the tags on the gifts. When they bring this up to their mother, she is inclined to agree and tells Ozzie. He and David switch gifts, but then Ozzie finds a note in the book indicating that Grandma did in fact intend the coat for Ozzie. Harriet starts to tell David, but Ozzie stops her and tells her to let David keep the coat. Ozzie acknowledges that the college girls were probably actually laughing at him. 4/2/16 (online)
• 014. Newspaper Write-Up – 1/2/1953
  • Ozzie helps organize a sports banquet for the boys, and everyone seems to rate it a resounding success. That evening a reporter (Paula Winslowe) from the Morning Tribune shows up at the house to interview Ozzie so that she can get an article in the morning edition of the newspaper. Ozzie even gives her a framed photo of himself to use with the article. The next morning, Ozzie is up bright and early waiting on the paper. When it finally shows up, Ozzie is crestfallen when he sees that the reporter misspelled his name as R.Z. Nielson. Ozzie tries to overlook it, although he threatens to cancel the newspaper, especially since everyone’s more difficult names are spelled correctly. Thorny also prods Ozzie to be angry about it as well. He won’t pursue it any further, so Harriet goes down and sees the editor Mr. Matthews (Frank Nelson) to ask that they print a correction. He is apologetic and agrees to do so, then tells his secretary not to send his wife out on any more interviews. The next morning, Thorny brings over the paper to show Ozzie the correction, and this time they’ve spelled his name as ‘Oogie Noslin’. Ozzie can only laugh about this, and no one can understand why he isn’t more angry. He then tells them that he knows that Thorny pasted the phony name in the paper himself. Furthermore, he had gotten up earlier to look at the newspaper at the newsstand and saw that it was correct. Newspapers then keep hitting the door, since Ozzie has ordered ‘a few’ extra copies. Thanks to his name being in the paper, the family keeps getting calls and visits from salesmen peddling products. Harriet finally tells a phone solicitor that they’ve reached the home of R.Z. Nielson. 6/25/22
• 015. Basketball Players – 1/9/1953
  • Harriet suggests that with David’s poor English term paper grade that he should forget about trying out for the basketball team for the position for which both he and Will Thornberry are competing, and Ozzie offers his support for her decision. Meanwhile Ozzie tries his hand at magic for the upcoming Father’s Night at school, while Thorny perfects a song and dance routine. As Thorny and Ozzie bicker about their routines, Thorny implies that David dropped out of the basketball tryouts because he was no match for Will. This gets Ozzie angry, and he buys a basketball and hoop to teach David to play to win, despite the fact that it starts to cause David to fall asleep in class. When it is suggested that both Ozzie and Thorny head a basketball team for Father’s Night, Ozzie suddenly comes down with a back injury he claims is from practicing. However, his tune changes when Will reports that his father has sprained his ankle practicing as well. Ozzie ends up leading his team to victory, bragging to Thorny about the succession of baskets he made, but Thorny eventually gets it out of him that the score was a meager 7 to 2. 3/31/17
• 016. Stop Worrying – 1/16/1953
  • Harriet is fretting about some draperies that she purchased, while Ricky is worried about an upcoming arithmetic test. Ozzie tries to convince them both that worrying is futile. He mentions that he has dropped off his car at the garage, but he isn’t worried about whether it will cost a lot of money. He then heads down to Miller’s to pick up some ice cream and a copy of Glamourous Woman magazine for Harriet. There he previews the magazine and finds an article about how to stop worrying, which he discusses with Mr. Miller and Thorny. Miller tells him that he got his wife to stop worrying by putting ice down her back… but it eventually led to their divorce. He shares the article with Harriet back home, but soon he starts to feel the worry about the very same subjects that the magazine mentions as potential worry topics. He starts to think that their friends are avoiding him, that the car is going to cost a fortune, and that his shoulder hurts. Soon he is also worrying about how easy it will be to clean the new draperies, and that even though Ricky pulled out a B on his test, that the teacher will only make them harder. Soon Harriet has noticed that Ozzie has become a worry wart. She reads the magazine article and decides to use their method of casting her own worries, in order to make Ozzie forget his worries. She starts to fret about the draperies and their friends, so Ozzie becomes optimistic again. Harriet admits that she got the idea from the magazine…but Ozzie is one step ahead and says that he too had been following the magazine’s advice. Later Ozzie wakes up in the middle of the night with some additional worries, so Harriet dumps ice cream down his back. 9/2/22
• 017. Tuba Incident – 1/23/1953
  • An article in the newspaper about Rudolph Strudelmeyer and his wife breaking up over his insistence on constantly playing the tuba leads to an argument between Ozzie and Harriet. Ozzie sides with the husband, while Harriet sides with the wife. The argument intensifies when it becomes clear that Ozzie would rather have pot roast, mashed potatoes, and apple pie instead of the meatloaf, baked potatoes, and chocolate cake that Harriet is preparing. When David tells Harriet about how much he likes his classmate Cathy Williams because she isn’t bossy, Harriet decides to be submissive and make Ozzie the dinner that he wants. Ozzie on the other hand gets advice from Thorny that he needs to act dominant and be the master of the house. Ozzie demands that Harriet get dinner on the table and declares that he will no longer be wearing a tie or jacket while they eat. Ozzie starts to feel funny about being so dominant, but Harriet insists that he keep it up… until David tells her that he got a date with Cathy, and since he likes her so much, he is glad to let her boss him around. Harriet takes that as a cue to tell Ozzie to get his feet off the couch and help set the table. 7/2/16
• 018. Rover Boys – 1/30/1953
  • When a books salesman comes around the neighborhood, he gets Ozzie and Thorny longing for the classic book from when they were kids… namely the adventure books of The Rover Boys. They have a disagreement on whether their adventures led them to Treasure Island or to Africa, so Ozzie goes to the library to prove that it was Africa. While there he runs into David’s teacher Miss Fraser (Paula Winslowe), and when she assumes that Ozzie checking out a massive volume on the Peloponnesian Wars, Ozzie doesn’t correct her. She later phones Ozzie and asks if he’ll speak to the PTA on that subject, so Ozzie starts boning up four volumes of dry information on the Wars. Thorny joins Ozzie when Miss Fraser asks him to assist with the talk, but he assumes the talk will be about the Rover Boys. Ozzie and Thorny study the Wars until late in the evening when Harriet tells them that Miss Fraser called and cancelled the talk. They then turn to the Rover Boys and stay up reading them until almost five in the morning… with Ozzie being proved wrong about Treasure Island. Ozzie later finds out that Harriet had actually gotten him off the hook by calling Miss Fraser and telling her that Ozzie was too ill to give his talk. 9/22/16
• 019. Separate Rooms – 2/6/1953
  • When David refuses to allow Ricky to go the movies with him, it leads to bickering and complaints from David about his lack of privacy. Ozzie is sympathetic to David’s feelings about needing privacy and since everyone is agreeable, David is permitted to move into the attic. When Harriet tells her aunt Ellen about the situation, Ellen interprets Ozzie’s statements as his own desire for privacy. Harriet starts to realize that she’s left her stuff all over the house, crowding Ozzie, so in order to appease him, she suggests that Ozzie move into the den. Ozzie can’t figure out why he’s being kicked out of the room, and Thorny suggests getting Harriet some scary books that will make her want Ozzie to come back to the room. Ozzie makes several attempts to through the night, but Harriet sends Ozzie back downstairs with a book a poetry. He ignores it and eventually falls asleep on the den couch, only to be woken up by Harriet, who suggests again that he look at the book of poetry. She has written a poem about wanting him to come back to the room, and admits that she only did it because she thought that’s what Ozzie wanted. David can’t find Ricky in the attic either, and Harriet reports that she had already found Ricky sleeping under David’s bed. Since they’re already up, the whole family has hot chocolate. 9/22/16
• 020. Valentine Show – 2/13/1953
  • David is going to be taking a girl named Marilyn to a Valentine dance, while Ozzie prepares for the holiday by sending Thorny to pick up a box of chocolates to give Harriet. When Ozzie and Harriet discover that David has amassed quite a bit of money when he makes change for a ten dollar bill for Ozzie, they become concerned that David is planning on spending a large amount on Marilyn. While David and Ricky are actually discussing buying their parents Valentine gifts, Harriet overhears part of the conversation which seems to validate their suspicions. Ozzie tries the indirect approach by telling Ricky that he thinks a corsage would be an appropriate gift, but this is misconstrued as well and the boys end up buying Harriet candy, and Ozzie a corsage. Not wanting to hurt the boys’ feelings, they tell the boys that Ozzie wanted this to give Harriet as his gift. When Thorny shows up with the chocolates, Ozzie says they are actually a gift for Thorny… and he reciprocates by giving Ozzie the tie off his neck. The chocolates for Harriet end up going to Marilyn, although half of them have been eaten by Ricky. 12/18/16
• 021. The Traffic Signal – 2/20/1953
  • Inspired by George Washington’s birthday, the Nelson family’s sense of civic duty impel them to take action about a dangerous intersection at Highland and Maple. Harriet brings it up at a Woman’s Club meeting and is nominated to write a letter to the Chamber of Commerce, while Ricky talks to his basketball referee Officer Clancy about it, and Ozzie talks to the secretary of the Commissioner of Public Safety. The traffic light is installed, and Ricky quickly jumps on getting the credit. David lets him have it even though he had mentioned it to his teacher and the whole class wrote a letter to the Mayor. Harriet thinks she is responsible, as does Ozzie, who speaks about it with Thorny and is astounded to find that Thorny is also taking credit for it since he talked to Katherine’s cousin who manufactures the bulbs that go into the lights. During their discussion, Ozzie is approached by a policeman who has been chasing Ozzie for running the new red light. Ozzie is now quick to give the blame to Thorny for the new traffic signal. The officer turns out to be Ricky’s Officer Clancy, who has championed the traffic light. Janet Waldo is the secretary. 12/18/16
• 022. The Dental Receptionist – 2/27/1953
  • Ozzie had a dentist appointment with substitute dentist Dr. Taylor, which he is anxious to avoid. Meanwhile Harriet looks for an attractive young man to meet a new friend she’s made in town when she invites her over to the house. Ozzie is relieved when Dr. Taylor is called away on an emergency and can’t see him, and is titillated by his receptionist Cathy Calhoun (Shirley Mitchell) flirts with him, tells him that he has broad shoulders, and offers to make him a pair of socks to match his beautiful blue eyes. Ozzie gloats about his experience to Thorny, but feels guilty when he thinks Harriet knows about her, and then gets fidgety when it turns out that Cathy is the girl who Harriet has invited over. When Harriet tells Ozzie that Cathy has a huge crush on someone she met at work, Ozzie assumes that it is him and becomes even more uncomfortable. Ozzie tries to hide his identity when she arrives, but then finds that Cathy can’t place his face. Dr. Taylor drops by to drop off Ozzie’s x-rays and then leaves with Cathy, who has laid the same compliments on him that she had on Ozzie. Harriet admits that she had called Dr. Taylor to come over, and Ozzie can’t help but lament how thick Cathy seems to have laid it on. 3/30/17 (online)
• 023. The Speech – 3/6/1953
  • Ozzie is asked to give a speech at the Chamber of Commerce luncheon, and although he can’t find a topic, he is set on using the beginning involving a quote from Theodore Roosevelt, a joke, and a stirring poetic ending in which he recites Opportunity. Thorny warns him that his format is too old and tired, causing Ozzie to stay up half the night reworking the entire speech. Meanwhile David has to give a speech in English class, and Ricky plans to give a campaign speech for Iggy McGoo. Ozzie is notified by Dr. Herb Dunkel (Joseph Kearns) that they are going to swap Ozzie for a visiting Lieutenant Colonel. Ozzie is somewhat relieved, but when he hears how his speech format has worked for both David and Ricky, as well as Harriet who has used it to promote a playground to the women’s club. Thorny however sets him up to deliver a speech at the re-opening of Charlie’s Diner, and Ozzie happily obliges. 10/15/17
• 024. The Safecrackers – 3/13/1953
  • Although Harriet is convinced that Ozzie will be up all night preparing his income taxes, Ozzie plans a practical joke by dropping his taxes off at Herb Dunkel’s office and having him take care of them for him. Harriet gets the idea from Mr. Miller that she and her friends should have a bridge night to stay out of their husbands way. When Ozzie and Ricky visit Herb’s office, Ricky begins to toy with Herb’s safe, leading to a conversation about safecracking. As Ozzie messes with the safe, he ends up miraculously opening it, so he decides to put both his and Thorny’s tax paperwork in the safe as a joke on Herb. However Thorny then informs Ozzie that the safe was actually not locked because Herb never knew the combination. With no way to retrieve their tax papers, Ozzie and Thorny are forces to pull another all-nighter getting them done, while Herb suggests they just mail the safe to the IRS and let them figure out how to get the tax papers out. 10/22/17 
• 025. Brother Beesley’s Philosophy – 3/20/1953
  • David and Ricky have saved up $4.10 and Ricky is ready to cash his in on a periscope, while Harriet notices the great sale on a dress she wants at the Emporium. Ozzie however, after having just paid their income taxes, suggests that the family tighten their belts for a while and only buy the necessities. He then heads down to visit his friend Andy Beesley (Frank Nelson), who is laid up after a skiing accident. While bedridden, Andy has developed a new philosophy that he should enjoy life and splurge now and then. Inspired, Ozzie heads to the Emporium and buys himself a new fishing reel, and then goes home and encourages his family to splurge as well. Thorny sees things differently, especially since he is expecting an exorbitant plumbing bill. Later Harriet and the boys return from the store full of packages, but Ozzie has now changed his tune and is regretting all of the money his family has pent. Thorny stops by to tell him that the plumber barely cost anything, and he too has not only developed the philosophy but has spread Ozzie’s advice and contacted the newspaper to feature him and his advice. Ozzie feels like a chicken and tells Harriet that he has returned the reel after having buyer’s remorse. It works out though because Harriet has bought him the same reel. Thorny and Ozzie also find out that Andy has called for them to co-sign a loan. 5/22/18
• 026. The Bowling Alley – 3/27/1953
  • Harriet begins worrying about Ozzie catching a cold from his friend Herb Dunkel, but Ozzie insists that he feels fine. However when Harriet suggests that Ozzie take her and Mary Dunkel (Paula Winslowe) to the Emporium for some returns, Ozzie suddenly begins to feel as if a cold may be coming on, so he decides to spend the day on the couch. When Thorny comes over and makes Ozzie believe that he had made plans with him to go bowling, Ozzie begins feeling better and they head to Monohan’s Bowling Alley. When Harriet and Mary decide to go bowling, Ozzie and Thorny spot them and bid a hasty retreat. The next day a deliveryman (Herb Vigran) delivers a case of ginger ale that Ozzie won for getting high score at the alley. Ozzie begins calling everyone he knows about his victory. Finally he admits to Harriet that he went bowling and begins bragging about the ginger ale. Harriet makes a call to Mary to tell her not to tell Ozzie that she won the ginger ale for having the highest woman’s bowling score. 5/26/18
• 027. The Orchid and the Violet – 4/3/1953
  • Ozzie is in a particularly fine mood now that Spring has arrived. After playing some heavy baseball with the boys, he decides to go downtown with Ricky to buy Harriet some violets like he used to when they were courting. Thorny suggest that he splurge and buy orchids, but Ozzie says that an old rich suitor of Harriet’s named Cranston Poole used to send her orchids regularly, so violets would be much more romantic. Still dirty from playing, Ozzie and Ricky head to Orville’s Flower Shop to make the purchase. Thinking Ozzie is poor and out of work because of his attire and his inability to scrounge up much change from his pockets, Orville (Alan Mowbray) decides he will surprise Ozzie and send orchids to Harriet instead, much to the annoyance of Orville’s wife Martha (Jeanette Nolan). When the orchids arrive, Ozzie thinks they have been sent by Cranston Poole, throws them away, and has a moping session with Thorny over glasses of milk. On Thorny’s advice, Ozzie calls to Orville’s and asks Martha to describe the man who bought the orchids. Based on her description of a disheveled man, Ozzie begins to feel bad that Cranston is down on his luck. Harriet assures Ozzie that it wasn’t Cranston who bought the flowers, as she too called the shop and recognized Martha’s description of Ozzie. Harriet later confesses that there never were any orchids and there never was anyone named Cranston. 1/1/19
• 028. Pancake Mix – 4/10/1953
  • The Nelson family are enjoying their pancake breakfast, but when Ozzie finds out that Harriet is using the boxed pancake mix from Hasty Tasty, suddenly Ozzie doesn’t like them as well as Harriet’s batter from scratch. Additionally there is an offer on the box that if the Hasty Tasty pancakes aren’t the best he’s ever had, he can return them and get twice the money back for them. Despite Ricky and Thorny’s urging doesn’t want to take the company up on the offer. Later when Ozzie visits the grocery store, he notices that the clerk (Sterling Halloway) is filling out paperwork for a customer who had cashed in on the offer. When Ozzie gets home and tells the family the news, he finds out that it was actually Ricky, who is planning on investing the money to buy more pancake mix and pyramiding his money. Ozzie and Harriet forbid this, just as representatives from the Hasty Tasty pancake company, the president A.K. Bailey (Frank Nelson), Mr. Crawford (Hal Smith), Mr. Plymmerton (Ray Hyke), and Miss Formley (Vera Marsh) all stop by the house to deliver the check in person. Additionally Bailey wants to win Ricky over so they cook up some pancakes, adding chocolate ice cream, strawberry jelly, and whipped cream to the pancakes until Ricky admits that they’re the best he’s ever had. Ricky is allowed to keep the money, and devours the toppings while putting the pancake itself under the plate. Ozzie later buys similar ingredients to help convince Ricky to eat his spinach. 1/1/19
• 029. Whistler’s Daughter – 4/17/1953
  • As Harriet is painting the kitchen chairs looking for help from Ozzie, he tries every trick in the book to get out of it, all the while discussing the fact that David is helping classmate Nancy Baker sell charity bazaar tickets, and being convinced that he fell for being flattered in order to be conned into selling. Harriet is quickly able to flatter Ozzie into assisting with chairs. Later Ozzie encounters an elderly door-to-door saleswomen named Mrs. Whistler (Verna Felton), selling her homemade Whistler’s Spot Remover. Ozzie invites her in to take a load off, and feeling sorry for her, offers to buy five 50-cent bottles, one for each family member and one for Thorny. Mrs. Whistler doesn’t have that many bottles, so promises to return to complete the order. When Ozzie delivers it to Thorny, he finds that Thorny already bought some… but from a very attractive younger girl. Both Thorny and Harriet seemed convinced that this younger girl flattered Ozzie into buying from her, while Ozzie frustratingly maintains that he bought from an older woman. The young girl, who turns out to be Mrs. Whistler’s daughter (Mary Beth Hughes), returns with the spot remover, Ozzie is in a hurry to get her out of the house. Harriet naturally finds them in a compromising position when her sweater gets stuck to her chair. However Ozzie is vindicated when the daughter tells Harriet how kind Ozzie was to her mother. None of this stops Ozzie from falling for the girl’s flattery by buying magazine subscriptions to The American Indian, Glorious Womanhood, and Poultry Life from her to help her win a contest to help send her through college. David does well with his sales as well, earning a kiss, and a charm bracelet which David will give back to Nancy for her birthday. Harriet think it will be safe having Ricky answer the door for the next salesmen, but two girl scouts flatter him into buying all of their cookies. 1/3/20
• 030. Fish Story – 4/24/1953
  • Ozzie falls for a real estate promotion by a radio announcer (Jack Wagner) for Singing Lake, touting how terrific the fishing is. When he is only able to catch one tiny fish, Ozzie realizes that the rumors were false, and get Ozzie pontificating about rumors, and how he could easily start a rumor and get everyone to believe it. He mentions that he could start one about the fishing being great at Mud Basin, which notoriously has no fish at all. When Thorny sees the giant fish that Harriet had bought at the market and hears Ozzie talking about Mud Basin, he concludes that the fishing must great at Mud Basin. At first Ozzie tries to convince him otherwise, but eventually just lets him believe it. Soon the rumor has circulated, with the logic that since no one has fished there in thirty years, maybe the fish really are plentiful. When Mary Dunkel calls Harriet with the fishing tip, Joe Randolph is seen with a giant catch, Emmy Lou (Janet Waldo) brings Ozzie a fish that her father caught, and Thorny returns with four large fish, Ozzie himself heads out to Mud Basin. Thorny later confesses to Harriet that he and everyone else actually bought their fish at the market. Nevertheless Ozzie returns with three of the largest fish of all, sending Thorny once again scurrying back to Mud Basin. Harriet later tells Ricky and David that it’s amazing that Ozzie caught a saltwater bass in a lake miles from the ocean. 1/3/20
• 031. Night School – 5/1/1953
  • Ozzie gets a hankering to go on a picnic, but everyone in the family already has plans. Harriet also identifies that one of the table legs is wobbly and nearly causes Ozzie to spill his coffee. He later swings by Thorny’s house and finds out that he has been taking some woodcrafting in night school classes. Ozzie hints to Harriet that he might like to attend night school, and Harriet not only thinks it is a great idea, but says she’s like to join him. She signs out for knitting and psychology classes. Ozzie goes for the woodworking, and at the suggestion of the registrar (Joan Shawlee) who thinks that the French language is sexy, he takes a French language class. The pair spend every night for a week hitting the books, but Harriet has trouble knitting, Ozzie can’t manage to create a new table leg, and the only sentence he can speak in French is “the pen is on the table.” The boys talk Harriet into skipping class and going to see the movie Jet Fighter with them. Meanwhile Ozzie confesses to Emmy Lou how burnt out he is from class, so she suggests he go bowling. The next day Harriet has figured out that Ozzie went bowling because she finds his ball in the bushes, while the boys had let it slip that Harriet went to the movie. They both admit that they’d rather drop the classes. Harriet gets an excuse to use Ozzie’s French sentence, even if he doesn’t. 4/14/20
• 032. The Traders – 5/8/1953
  • When Ozzie finds out that the boys have done some bartering with their friends, and are now bringing home an array of various loads of junk and storing it in the hall closet, he lectures them on not getting the short end of the stick when it comes to trades. He is particularly disgusted at the antique clock he finds in the closet, which Ricky will not claim, so he assumes was one of Dave’s trades. As he is taking the junk to the garage, he stops and visits with Thorny who is getting rid of his son Will’s haul as well. Ozzie asks him to help illustrate how to make an equitable trade in front of Ricky, so he trades the clock for an old teapot that Thorny is getting rid of. Ozzie then trades the teapot with Ricky for a pen knife with no blades in it. Later Ozzie finds out that Harriet had actually purchased a rather pricey antique clock and hid it in the closet. He stalls for time buy locking the closet door, and  the heading over to get the clock back from Thorny, but find him prowling around Ozzie’s garage. It comes out that Thorny’s wife Katherine had purchased the antique teapot. However he can’t trade Ozzie’s clock back to him because he traded the clock with Will for a baseball. David trades with Will to get the clock, but he is interested in Thorny’s baseball, while Ricky wants his pen knife back. The four of them trade back and forth until each one has the item that he wants. As Ozzie attempts to sneak the clock back into the closet, Harriet informs him that she found another copy of the key, then locks Ozzie inside the closet. 4/14/20
• 033. The Boxing Matches – 5/15/1953
  • David helps Ricky prepare for his exhibition boxing match against Iggy Schwartz at the Boy Scout Rally. Harriet doesn’t care for the idea, but Ozzie defends it, then walks right into a door and blackens his own eye. When Thorny sees it, he assumes that Ozzie was punched by David or Ricky despite Ozzie’s denial. The two discuss boxing and Thorny shows him his bizarre stance, and while Ozzie is trying to illustrate why it is terrible, Thorny accidentally bloodies Ozzie’s lip. Although Ozzie maintains he wasn’t ready and that Thorny is a terrible boxer, he is a bit nervous when Ricky comes home and tells him that he and Will have been bragging how good of boxers their fathers are, and now Boy Scouts leader wants to know if Thorny and Ozzie will put on the boxing gloves at the exhibition. Apparently Thorny has agreed, so Ozzie is forced to agree as well, but the more he thinks about it, the more nervous he becomes. Ozzie discusses this with Emmy Lou and tries to illustrate how poor of a boxer Thorny is, but when he shows her Thorny’s ridiculous stance, she accidentally bloodies his nose. Harriet can’t help but tease Ozzie for looking so battered on the way to a fight. Later Thorny comes over and Ozzie can’t believe that Thorny has eaten a big meal, is ready for Harriet’s dessert, and is smoking a cigar. When Ozzie prods him about how he can be so nonchalant, Thorny tells him that all they are doing is helping the boys put on their gloves and standing in their corner. Ozzie is clearly relieved, and runs in to tell Harriet the news… only to be hit in the face one more time by the kitchen door. That night after the exhibition, Ozzie tells Harriet that the next year, the boys will be wrestling, but she stops him in his tracks when he starts to talk about how good a boxer he was. 7/28/20
• 034. A Door Key for David – 5/22/1953
  • When the boys get locked out of the house and Ozzie has to let them in, David requests that he gets his own door key and his parents agree. After Ozzie and David visit Thorny, and David shows off his new key, Thorny admits that he has misplaced his own key and needs to borrow a screwdriver from Ozzie to get in the window. When they head back to the Nelson house, Ozzie realizes he has misplaced his own key, although it takes a while before he will admit it. He later gets the idea to take Harriet’s key to locksmith Charlie Parker (Hal Smith), but then she thinks she has lost her key as well. She winds up swiping David’s key and taking it to Parker’s as well, but since he himself is locked out of his shop, he can only promise to deliver the keys later that day. With Ozzie and Harriet both stuck outside, and David unable to produce his key for them, they turn to Ricky to climb in the window. He says he’ll do it for 50 cents but that he needs his sneakers, so he pulls a key from his pocket and goes in the front door to get them. He tells his parents that he found it in the door… right where Ozzie left it that morning when the let them in. The locksmith delivers two keys for Ozzie, two for Harriet, one for David, and one for Ricky… which is a reward for Ricky climbing in the locksmith’s window and letting them in. 7/29/20
• 035. The Play’s the Thing – 5/29/1953
  • The PTA is putting on a play of Robin Hood and His Merry Band, and Harriet talks the boys into volunteering to be part of the scenery, and they reluctantly agree. Ozzie tries to get out of it as well, but Harriet reminds him that not being in the play will free him up to do a lot of chores around the house. He then finds out that Thorny has a large part in the play, so he volunteers to the PTA chairman Mrs. Pennyfeather (Almira Sessions), and she gives him his role… the front of Robin Hood’s horse. Ozzie is embarrassed to have to break the news of his role to the boys and Emmy Lou, and tries to think of way to get out of it. Harriet tells him that his friend Herb Dunkel is anxious to get rid of his role, but Ozzie doesn’t want to take the chance that he has the rear of the horse. Ozzie then tells Thorny that he is now in the play as well, and Thorny admits that he had actually been given the small role of the stable boy. Ozzie offers to trade his part sight unseen and Thorny takes him up on it. Then he finds out that Thorny had trades his stable boy part with Dunkel, and Ozzie had just traded to get the rear of the horse. Later Harriet tells Ozzie that they are off the hook, as the committee decided to do away with the role because someone else had rented the costume. Ricky reveals that he has found a horse costume in the garage. Harriet tell him that they were going to do away with the part anyway because the costume was too expensive, leaving Ozzie bitter that they wasted $20 on renting it. 11/11/20
• 036. Monetary System – 6/5/1953
  • When David and Ricky spend all of their allowance after a couple of days and have no money left to go to the movies, Ozzie comes up with a point plan, where they can earn points worth a penny each. If they forget to do their chores, they are penalized with one demerit. When Harriet shows the chore list to her friend Barbara, she realizes that all of the chores listed are Ozzie’s. She intervenes, and not only adds some of her workload to the chore list, but puts Ozzie on the point system as well, only his points are worth one dollar each. Ozzie shares this with Thorny, but realizes that he forgot to take out the trash, wash the car, and is too late to help Harriet polish the silver. Ozzie doesn’t admit that the forgot to do the chores and take credit for it. Ricky tires to take credit for it as well, but then admits that he didn’t do it, leaving Ozzie to believe that David did the chores. When it comes time to settle up, David earns his 28 cents and Ricky earns 26, with no one claiming Ozzie’s forgotten chores. Eventually Harriet comes forward and says that she did them, meaning Ozzie owes her $35. She settles for $15 to pay off the hat that she has already purchased. 11/12/20
• 037. Who’s Walter? – 6/12/1953
  • After Ozzie makes the family feel guilty for always wanting sections of the newspaper that he has brought in, he finally passes out the portions of it and leaves himself the want ads. Harriet finds some useful information in her section: an old Ferris Wheel operator from Palisades Park, New Jersey named H.R. “Pops” Gibson is in town attending an Amusement Park Operators Convention locally at the Benson Hotel. Ozzie and Harriet reminisce about Pops giving them rides, and the time they became engaged while on the Ferris Wheel. They decide to go down to the hotel and invite Pops to come over for dinner. When they meet with him, he recognizes them both, but keeps calling Ozzie by the name Walter. Ozzie becomes curious who Pops is thinking of, and Harriet just assumes it was another boy she dated and went to the park with. He soon becomes fixated on figuring out who it is, going through old photo albums, and continuing to prod Harriet. He also brings it up to Thorny, who tells him to forget about it. Ozzie even accuses Harriet of being obsessed with it, and then keeps prodding her for any memory she might have. That night Pops comes to dinner, and at the end of the evening, Ozzie finally asks him to clarify who Walter was. Pops claims that he never forgets a face or a name. However as he tries to recall who Walter is, he refers to Ozzie as David, Chester, Freddie, and Herbert, and then forgets his own name. Ozzie realizes that there was no Walter, and it was all just Pops’s faulty memory. As he leaves, he says goodnight to Ozzie and ‘Barbara’… which causes Harriet to question Ozzie’s old girlfriends. However when Ozzie remembers that he really did date a Barbara, he starts to question the identity of Walter again.  That night they go to be and laughingly refer to their boys and themselves by the wrong names. 3/1/21
• 038. Curiosity – 6/19/1953
  • Harriet prods Ozzie for details about his afternoon downtown and his lunch with Herb Dunkel, and after Ozzie gives her cursory responses, she gets a call from her friend Barbara, who provides more fascinating facts like Joe and Betty Randolph’s separation because she found a picture of a girl in his wallet, a fire at the Emporium Grill where they ate, and Herb’s broken arm. When she confronts Ozzie about this, he says they were all just minor details that he left out and teases her about women being so curious. He teases her even more when she asks Ricky about his new girlfriend Mildred Marshall. She retorts by telling him that an attractive girl had said some things about him that afternoon, but refuses to tell him who or what. Ozzie doesn’t want to admit his curiosity but can think of nothing else but who the woman was. He tries to prompt her by talking about the differences between imagination and curiosity, and about songs with girls names as the titles. Finally Harriet admits that she made it all up in order to teach him a lesson, but Ozzie doesn’t believe her. He consults Thorny about what to and Thorny advises him to make up a story about a girl that he once dated. Ozzie tells Harriet about a time he stood her up for a date at the barn dance and went to an amusement park with a girl named Liza Cromwell. Harriet won’t bite, so it drives Ozzie even crazier. Finally Harriet tells Ozzie that the girl who asked about him was named Konstantina Wasselmix. Ozzie finally believes that Harriet made up the girl, but he still tells Thorny that he was victorious with his plan. He also tells Thorny that he feels good because he got a true confession off his chest about Eliza Cromwell. Harriet hears him talking, and Thorny flees, leaving Ozzie to face Harriet’s wrath. Later Harriet reports to Ozzie that Joe and Betty reconciled because Herb Dunkel admitted that he put the picture in Joe’s wallet as a joke. Thorny and four other men also called and made the same confession. Ozzie admits that the phone call he was about to make is no longer necessary. 3/2/21
• 039. Oscillating Ozzie – 6/26/1953
  • Ozzie seems a bit out of sorts when Harriet serves him fried eggs instead of boiled for breakfast. This leads to a conversation about how he is rather conservative in his habits, and prefers her hair longer rather than shorter. However he doesn’t like to think of himself as set in his ways, just comfortable with the way things are. He discusses this with Thorny to get this notion validated, before heading to the drugstore to get his usual quart of chocolate and quart of vanilla ice cream. He runs into Emmy Lou on the way, and she goes on and on about a new movie with a cad as the main character. She claims that unpredictable men are exciting, and it makes her squeal with glee when Ozzie tells her he is buying different ice cream than normal. Ozzie returns home with three quarts of tutti-frutti ice cream, and pontificates how unpredictable he is. He even attempts to wear his hobo costume to dinner, until Harriet makes him change. Meanwhile, Harriet has told Mary Dunkel that she is having a new rug delivered while Ozzie out bowling in order to surprise him… and deny him the opportunity to say no in advance. However, Ozzie decides to stay home and play the banjo, and again exercise his unpredictable nature. Harriet insists that he leave, and shove him out the door. He and Thorny then run into the rug delivery man Mr. Mulligan (Herb Vigran) on his way over, so Ozzie finds out about the rug. As a prank, he has Mulligan and Thorny deliver the rug with him wrapped inside. The joke is a bust, Ozzie is dizzy, and Harriet gives him a squeal since he is so unpredictable. 6/30/21

SEASON 2

• 040. New Chairs – 9/18/1953
  • One afternoon a deliveryman (Dick Ryan) and his partner Joe (Brick Sullivan) delivery two chairs from the Emporium to the Nelson house. Since only the boys are home, David signs for the chair. When Ozzie and Harriet see them and realize that neither of them ordered them, Ozzie calls the Emporium and speaks to an obtuse lady (voice of Lurene Tuttle) in the complaint department and asks to have them picked up. However, the Emporium makes another mistake and has two more delivered. Ozzie then calls the manager and demands that they pick up all four chairs. After the boys do some acrobatics on the chair, and Ozzie attempts some of his own, he decides to keep two of the chairs since they are so comfortable. Thorny then talks Ozzie into donating his two old chairs to Monahan’s bowling alley lounge. When Ozzie returns from the drug store later, he finds that all four of the new chairs are gone. Harriet takes the blame because she didn’t know that Ozzie wanted to keep two, so she insisted that they take all four. However, another deliveryman (Ralph Peters) and his partner Lenny (Henry Kulky) return to pick up the chairs again. Ozzie then realizes that it was the men from the bowling alley who take the four new chairs. The Emporium deliverymen insist that unless they bring back two chairs, the Emporium won’t let them go home. Ozzie agrees to let them take their two old chairs, and then to straighten it all out the next day. Thorny finds the entire situation hilarious… until Katherine calls him and tells him that the original chair delivery was for them. Ozzie agrees to help Thorny get the chairs back from the bowling alley. As they are leaving, they spot home movers outside, and vow to not let them near. Later, Ozzie has to call the Emporium again, because instead of bringing two of the new chairs back, they took their dining room chairs… so the family is eating dinner sitting on the floor around the coffee table. 6/30/21
• 041. The Party – 9/25/1953
  • Rick can’t stop saying ‘that gosh-darn Will Thornberry’ when he and David learn that Will is having a birthday party and they weren’t invited. They want to set a bucket-and-water booby trap for Will, even though their only evidence is that they spotted the Thornberry cake at the bakery. Their parents order them not to set up the trap, and to try and find out if there is a misunderstanding, but they set it up anyway. Again, their folks insist that they talk to Will, and when they do, he invites them to his party the following Tuesday. When Ozzie asks why the cake has been prepared so early, the boys tell him that the cake is for Mr. Thornberry’s party that night. Ozzie is taken aback since it is now him who has not been invited to a the party. He sulks round the house, and when Thorny comes over to eat Harriet’s cookies, Ozzie tries to drop numerous hints about the party, but Thorny acts oblivious. Ozzie starts taking notes on everything Thorny has borrowed from him in order to get the boys to retrieve it all, but it seems that it is Ozzie who did the bulk of the borrowing. Harriet can’t see the friendship strained any further, so she tells Ozzie that it is Katherine who is throwing a surprise anniversary party for Thorny, and they purposely kept Ozzie in the dark for fear that he’d tell Thorny. Ozzie and the boys go down to see the cake that they are hiding in the kitchen… pick at it to test the icing. Ozzie fears that Thorny might see it, so he decides to take the cake the car… when he trips the booby trap, gets soaked, and falls into the cake. Thorny admits that he set the trap after he saw the cake, assuming that Ozzie is having a party and didn’t invite him… prompting an angry Ozzie to say “that gosh-darn Thornberry!” Joan Shawlee is Harriet’s friend Marion. NOTE: This episode was aired again on November 23, 1961 with a new introduction from Harriet, and then following the show, a performance from Rick singing A Wonder Like You.  11/23/21
• 042. The Boys’ Paper Route – 10/2/1953
  • Harriet tries to get Ozzie to fix a screen door, while also contending with members of her Women’s Club who are opposed to the town building a new playground and swimming pool. She and Katherine Thornberry have made a list of them and plan to speak to them individually to get them to support it. Meanwhile, David and Ricky have taken a job as newspaper delivery boys, and Ozzie convinces them that they need to do the job right, and has them re-copy their ratty copy of their list of customers before their first morning of 5:30am deliveries. The next morning, Harriet notes that Dave has been sniffling through the night and Ricky tossed and turned, and since it is rainy, she is worried about them getting up to deliver the papers… so she enlists Ozzie to do it. He gets up, gets dressed, grabs the list of subscribers, and heads to the corner where he promptly falls asleep against a mailbox. A delivery man (Herb Vigran) brings him the papers and wakes him up. He comes home in the morning invigorated from the morning air, and finds the boys upset that they overslept, but grateful that he delivered the papers. Ozzie falls asleep in the chair, while the boys have breakfast. When they go to mark down the customers who received papers, they realize that Ozzie used Harriet’s list of Women’s Club members opposed to the pool, rather than the list of customers. Harriet and the boys go out together to correct the mistake. Thorny comes over and wakes up Ozzie, questioning why Harriet is delivering the papers. Ozzie realizes that he used the wrong address book, and apologizes profusely when Harriet and the boys return. It turns out it all worked out for the best because the women who received the paper all read the editorial about the swimming pool and have already changed their minds. In addition, they all subscribed to the paper, earing a commission for the boys. Ozzie gladly takes credit for being a genius. NOTE: This episode was aired again on December 22.1965. Ozzie adds a new introduction, and Rick performs The Christmas Song in front of the tree for his wife Kris, daughter Tracy, as well as David, June, and their son Daniel. 9/2/22
• 043. The Window Pane – 10/9/1953
  • Thorny introduces the episode about Ozzie having a rough day, starting with Harriet getting on Ozzie’s case about getting someone out to fix a broken pane of glass in the kitchen door, although he insists that he can do it himself. Then he sees the boys fixing the front doorbell chimes, and they don’t seem to want his help at all. Ozzie is downtrodden and goes to visit Thorny, telling him that his family doesn’t think he’s capable of doing small tasks. The boys get the chimes working, but Ozzie goes out to get a pane of glass and fix the door. Ozzie finishes the door, and even Thorny admits that he did a nice-looking job. However, when Thorny goes to leave and slams the door, the new glass shatters. Ozzie blames Thorny for breaking it, while Thorny blames Ozzie for the shabby install. Ozzie leaves to go get another pane of glass, but in the meantime, Harriet has hired a handyman named Mr. Williams (Emmett Lynn) to fix it. When Ozzie returns, he sees that the glass has been replaced. He tries to tell Harriet how he had fixed it, but then Thorny slammed it and broke it. He tries to illustrate how he did it on the new glass, but it won’t break. When Harriet realizes that his feelings are hurt, she tries to break it with Ricky’s toy airplane, which is how the first one got broken in the first place. When Mr. Williams to return to grab his glass cutter that he left behind, he tells Harriet that he installed the new unbreakable glass. Harriet asks him to take out the new glass and then install some old-fashioned breakable glass. The goal is to break the glass, so Ozzie can fix it and feel better about himself. Neither Ricky nor David can bring themselves to break the window using the baseball. Ozzie then brings Thorny back to check out the unbreakable glass, but before he can throw a baseball at it, Thorny breaks it again just by closing the door. Ozzie then plans to replace the glass but finds he now can’t time to fit it into his busy schedule, so Harriet calls Mr. Williams back. Ozzie gets busy fixing shelves. locks, faucets, hinges, light switches, and screens around the house, then asks if he can now have his dinner. 11/21/22
• 044. David’s Pipe – 10/16/1953
  • During breakfast, Harriet is concerned when she notices that a moth has eaten through the elbow of David’s shirt. She’s also questions Ricky as to with whom he will be hanging out that afternoon. Ozzie scolds her for not trusting the boys’ judgement, and he says that he prefers to instill them with values and intelligence and then trust them to utilize it. Later that day, he tells Thorny the same thing when Thorny expresses concern over the older boy Buzzy Banks, with whom Will has been hanging out lately. Even though Ozzie suggests that Thorny trust Will to make the right decision, but Thorny decides to forbid Will to see the boy.  Later that afternoon a package is delivered to Ozzie, and it contains a pipe sent by an old school chum of Ozzie’s from New Jersey. The friend has incorrectly assumed that David is now a college boy. Ozzie and Harriet try to decide whether they should take the pipe and hold it for David until he is old enough to make the decision on whether he will smoke. David sits around upstairs with the pipe in his mouth, pretending to be mature. The next day, he takes the pipe around and shows it to his friends. All the while, Ozzie and Harriet are on edge wondering if David will have a desire to smoke, and what they would do about it if he did. Ozzie tells a story about he once tried a corncob pipe when he was a boy and burned his eyebrows off, making Harriet all the more nervous. Ozzie stops by Thorny’s place while he is cleaning the house and asks how his problem with Will went. Thorny says he told him in no uncertain terms that he doesn’t want him hanging around with Buzzy. He also asks Ozzie why David is walking around with a pipe. He tells Ozzie he would never let Will smoke a pipe, and Ozzie tells Thorny that David would never put tobacco in it. Thorny said he’s glad to hear that because he ran into David at the drugstore, and he was buying cheap Old Castaway tobacco. Furthermore, he said that David made up a story that he was buying it for Harriet. Ozzie castigates himself for being too lenient with David. He then goes and tells Harriet that David had bought cheap tobacco. Harriet doesn’t react much, and then tells Ozzie that he did in fact send him to buy cheap tobacco, as she is putting it in bags in the closet to help get rid of the moths. She also tells Ozzie that David has given the pipe away… and it turns out to have gone to Ricky. He has been smoking it too…with bubbles. That night Ozzie speaks to David in his room about how proud of him he is that David made the right decision not to smoke. David said he was tempted to try it, until he smelled the Old Castaway. 11/22/22
• 045. David’s Birthday – 10/22/1953
  • David’s seventeenth birthday is coming up, so Harriet heads to the campus haberdashery to pick him out a gift. She works with the haberdasher (Raymond Greenleaf) winds up getting him a sweater but fears that it might look too young for him. Back at home, Ricky gives David a check for 50 cents for his birthday. David tells his family that he has a crush on a girl named Sally Patterson (Sally Fraser) from Chicago, a cousin of their friend Betty Barker. David thinks she might like her, but fears that she’s only into older college men. David sends Sally some flowers, and his flirtation seems to work, as Betty calls David and asks if Sally can come over and see him after dinner. David is happy to have her over but concerned that she will find out how old he is. David talks to his father about ideas that will make him seem older. Ozzie suggests that they show some old home movies of David at the lake to show her how athletic he is. Harriet however thinks of an alternate plan that she sets in motion. Meanwhile, Thorny brings a wolf-call car horn for David for his birthday. He leaves it with Ozzie, but when Ozzie can’t stop blowing it, Thorny takes it back. David dresses up in Ozzie’s suit and tie to try and look older. After the family has dinner, Rick brings in David’s cake and they sing Happy Birthday. When Sally arrives, she questions who the man making wolf calls at her is. Harriet suggests that they watch some of their home movies, but much to David and Ozzie’s surprise, the home movies are of David as a baby and toddler. When his parents call out David’s age and the year of the films, Sally calculates David’s age as seventeen, which David admits freely. Sally said the reason she came over was to thank him for the flowers and invite him to her birthday party… her 16th birthday. She says that she had asked Betty to exaggerate her age because she thought David was a college man. David and Sally head out to the movies, leaving Ricky behind. But Harriet offers for him to go on a date with an older woman… and her husband Ozzie. NOTE: This episode was re-broadcast on 3/23/1960 with wraparound segments by Ozzie, and a performance of Ricky singing Glory Train from his album Ricky Sings Spirituals. 11/25/22
• 046. No Noise – 10/30/1953
  • Ozzie receives a visit from his friend Herb Dunkel, who is promoting a new local brand of an organization in town called The National Anti-Noise Society. He convinces that one of the most stressful things plaguing man is noise. Banker Mr. Hopkins (Tom Powers) is the top man in the organization. Ozzie takes some pamphlets to look over, and Mr. Dunkel invites him to join. Ozzie then discusses it with Harriet and uses the brush strokes of her broom and the heaving clomping of her feet in the kitchen as examples of noise they take for granted but can’t be helped. Ozzie decides to pay some bills but gets interrupted by the boys talking loudly. Ozzie then notices the clock ticking and has to leave the room and go to the den. Suddenly, he starts to hear running upstairs which turns out to be Harriet jogging in place trying to lose weight, so she isn’t so ‘heavy-footed’ cand clomping around the room. Ricky’s friends Freddie (Dwight Davenport) and Suzy (Gail Ganley) then come over and start practicing music with Ricky on the drums, Freddie on piano, and Suzy dancing on wood. Then David comes barging in with his friend Iggy Schwartz’s barking dogs (Jerome, Sidney, and Muriel). Ozzie makes a call to Dunkel to tell him that he wants to join his organization. Harriet realizes that she and the boys got Ozzie upset with his noise, so they all decide to be quiet. Later, when Ozzie starts to read the paper, each member of the family starts appearing around him when he has the paper up. They are all so quiet, he can’t hear them moving around and changing places. Ozzie goes next door and tells Thorny how unnerving it is with everyone being so quiet. Thorny thinks it’s a good thing to have quiet, so Ozzie offers to have Thorny take over his application into the Anti-Noise Society. Mr. Hopkins and Mr. Pierce (Francis Pierlot), the chairman of the membership committee of the Anti-Noise Society stops by to meet Ozzie. As Hopkins is telling Pierce how peaceful the neighborhood is, David comes by with the dogs, Ricky revs up the car engine in the driveway, and Ozzie and Thorny start burning the trash, which contains firecrackers that Thorny had hidden in the garage. Mr. Hopkins tears up Ozzie’s application for membership. 11/25/22
• 047. The Hustler – 11/6/1953
  • Ricky has started his own business by going door-to-door and selling spot remover called Spots Away. His parents question him about his enterprise and send him on his way. Ozzie is worried that Ricky will become disillusioned when he gets turned down by customers and considers phoning some of the neighbors ahead of time. He later runs into Thorny, who is complimentary about how organized and enterprising Rick is, especially compared to his son Will, who is always reading or experimenting in the garage instead of using his energy for something productive. Ozzie expresses his concern about Ricky losing his confidence if he is turned down, so Thorny offers to buy a couple of bottles from him. Ozzie tells Thorny he will pay him back for whatever he spends. When Ricky comes home, Ozzie is prepared to give him a pep talk, but to his surprise, he finds that Ricky has actually sold two dozen bottles. In appreciation of his support, Ricky gives his father a complimentary bottle of Spots Away. Ozzie attempts to use it to clean a spot off of his tie, but the liquid causes the tie to smoke, and then it burns a hole in it. Ozzie tries to call the neighbors to warn them, but then realizes he has no idea who Ricky sold it all to. It turns out he sold all 24 bottles to Thorny, who bursts in furious because the liquid has burned a hole in his sweatshirt. He demands restitution from Ozzie, until Ozzie realizes it is his sweater in the first place. The two get into a wrestling match over who owes who money. Ricky comes home, and the two question him Dragnet style. Ricky then reveals that it has been David who asked him to sell the stuff, much to Ozzie’s chagrin. Then he reveals that it was Will Thornberry who helped create it in the garage. When David comes home, Ozzie tells him that the stuff he is selling is dangerous, but it turns out that Ricky had taken bottles of their other experiment, which they were thinking of marketing as a liquid to cut grass… as long as one doesn’t mind that it turns the lawn black, which they know from experimenting on Thorny’s front yard. Ozzie uses the stuff to ‘clean’ an ugly golf hat that Harriet bought him, and he had been attempting to hide. When Ozzie goes bowling later, Harriet questions Ozzie about wearing a sweater and a tie and whether he has a handkerchief. Ozzie then realize there are holes in all three of them. 12/20/22
• 048. Boys’ Day aka Young City Officials – 11/13/1953
  • It’s Civics Day in town, and David has entered an essay into a contest that could land him the position of honorary mayor, or another prominent position in town. Ozzie is particularly proud of the speech that David entered, mostly because he helped write it. However, David informs him that he got rid of the parts that his father wrote because he thought it would be fairer to have written it himself. Harriet informs Ozzie that the PTA is sponsoring Civics Day, and that a new addition to the day will be that the parents are going to act out everyday scenarios for the kids to solve. Ozzie questions why he wasn’t asked to participate. Meanwhile, Ozzie finds out that Will Thornberry is also in the running to be awarded the job of Mayor for the day. Thorny thinks he has a good chance because he helped Will write his theme. Ozzie is furious when he hears this, since David threw out the parts Ozzie helped with. Thorny then tells him that Will threw out his contributions as well. The two then get in a fight about who was going to win the assignment of Mayor, which devolves into a shouting match. In the meantime, Harriet has gotten Ozzie and Thorny jobs participating in the PTA’s new program. Ozzie refuses to work with Thorny until he apologizes to Ozzie. Thorny’s wife Katherine then sends Thorny over to apologize under threat of not getting dinner until he does. Ozzie and Thorny are quick to make up, but when Ozzie uses this opportunity to be honest and tells Thorny that he can be quite childish and unreasonable when he’s angry. Thorny then tells Ozzie that he can very stubborn and bullheaded. The devolves into yet another fight, and Thorny storms out. Later, Ricky sees that a police officer (Robert B. Williams) stops by Thorny’s house, and then they come over to Ozzie’s house. He arrests both of them for their argument, which he interprets as ‘disturbing the peace’ and ‘creating a public nuisance’. The warrant has been signed by the Chief of Police Will Thornberry. They are taken to the courthouse where the meet the Judge… David Nelson. Furthermore, the complaint has been signed by Harriet and Ricky Nelson. Ozzie and Thorny are both angry, until he sees that the judge is David. He sentences them to 30 days… of shaking hands with each other twice a day. The real Mayor Jackson (Don Beddoe) and Mrs. Pennyfeather (Paula Winslowe) from the PTA are both complimentary at how good the guys’ acting was. That night David goes to the dance with Susie Monohan. Ozzie speculates how honored she must be to go with Judge David Nelson. Harriet reminds him that David should also be honored to be going to the dance with Mayor Susie Monohan. Eddie Erhardt is the court clerk. Bud Graybill is the photographer. 12/20/22
• 049. The Suggestion Box – 11/20/1953
  • Thorny is in a crummy room because his family has criticized his choice of clothes that morning. Ozzie suggests that Thorny should appreciate the family that loves him enough to offer constructive criticism. In that vein, when Harriet criticizes Ozzie for dragging mud in the house, he takes it gracefully and apologizes. He even offers to take it one step further and proposes that the family put up a suggestion box near the front door so that each family member has the opportunity to put anonymous suggestions to improve the household. Meanwhile, David and Ricky find a piece of scrap paper where Ozzie has noted making reservations for four. They assume that this is for the Mountain View Lodge where they have been going annually. Harriet later finds out from a confirmation call that these reservations were for the bowling alley, and not the mountains. She tells the kids to not be disappointed, but also notes that Ozzie will often surprise them with trips like that. After Ricky tells Thorny about the box, Thorny comes over to see it, and also criticize Ozzie for telling everyone how he had been ‘grousing’ at his family about his nudges. He also mentions that Rick had mentioned they were waiting for Ozzie to surprise them with the mountain trip. Thorny is so curious to see what kind of suggestions are in the box that he ‘accidentally’ spills them out so that he can read them. Most of them give Ozzie such a glowing review that Thorny assumes that Ozzie must be a tyrant and that they are scared of him. Later, Ozzie suggests that they open up the suggestion box and take a look. Thorny comes over for the unveiling, and they start with a couple of suggestions for Ozzie and his clothing, while simultaneously complimenting him. Ozzie points out how well he takes the criticism in stride… until one of the notes says that Ozzie is a miserly skinflint. Ozzie quickly realizes that Thorny had written that one. He disputes the accusation in any case because he then finds another suggestion that he wrote, suggesting that the family all go to the Mountain View Lodge the following weekend. The lodge calls Ozzie to verify the reservations, but Ozzie then realizes that he never made them. The inform him that the reservations were made by Ricky Nelson, so Ricky suggests that his mother not tell his father where his hiding place is. Later, Thorny is upset again because Kathryn has put in their own suggestion box and Thorny has taken the brunt of the criticism. Ozzie comes by and kids him because it was him who stuffed the box with some – but not all – of the criticisms. 1/1/23
• 050. The Ladder – 11/27/1953
  • Ricky’s teacher gives him extra homework for not turning in his assignment, which he claims he set down on a truck while tying his shoe, and then lost when the truck drove away. Meanwhile, Harriet agrees to let Mrs. Howard (Florence Bates) come over to the house and read some poetry as an audition for the next PTA meeting. Later that day Thorny shows off his new lightweight ladder, and claims that Will had lost a ball on Ozzie’s roof. They both climb onto the roof, but the ladder falls, and they get stuck there, while Mrs. Howard shows up and reads her lengthy poetry to Harriet, David, and Ricky. As it gets later and colder, Ozzie gets the idea to cover the chimney with Thorny’s coat, which causes the living room to fill with smoke. Ricky goes outside and lets them down, and Ozzie has to face an irate Harriet. He tells her the whole story, which sound almost too incredible to believe. Ozzie goes back to retrieve Thorny’s jacket to prove his story, taking David with him to hold the ladder. However David climbs up as well, and they get stuck too. The next day truck driver Buster Freud (Herb Vigran) returns Ricky’s schoolwork, thus proving Ricky’s story true. 6/30/16 (online)
• 051. Parental Guidance – 12/4/1953
  • Ricky is bummed out because he has realized it is a grown man’s world, especially when they won’t let him get into adult pictures at the Bijou. He also laments that as a child, he can’t stay up to watch the late pictures on TV. Harriet doesn’t think it is a good idea, but Ozzie decides to let him stay up as late as he wants, thinking that after he spends a day of sluggishness, he’ll realize that he enjoys a good night’s sleep even more. David, however, has the idea that he’s already feeling sluggish and would like permission to get up at 6:30am every morning to lift the barbells that he plans to borrow from his friend Georgie. Ozzie not only agrees to let him do it but tells David he’d like to join him. Ozzie predicts that David will lose interest in this quickly as well. He tells Thorny about his plans, and Thorny tells Ozzie that Will is doing something unusual as well: reading through the entire encyclopedia. Thorny hopes and think he will lose interest in this soon also, since it is negatively affecting his homework. Both Ozzie and Harriet join Ricky the first night of late movie watching, and once The Claw of the Vampire finishes, Ricky wants to stay up even later with Ozzie to play checkers. The next morning, David wakes Ozzie up early for weightlifting, and is surprised that Ricky is up as well. Ozzie is so tired the next day, he can barely keep his eyes open. That night Ozzie and Ricky are up until 1:30am, and Ricky wants to stay up later to listen to the radio. The routine repeats all week, going to bed late, and getting up early. Ozzie admits that he is close to defeat with the boys but predicts that it will end soon. David tells Harriet that he is planning on giving up the weightlifting because it hasn’t done much good. When he measures himself, he has gained two inches in the chest and arms. He also tells Harriet that he was nearly ready to quit after the first time but thought that Ozzie needed the lifting because he seemed so sluggish. When Harriet tells Ozzie this, he is thrilled that he can stop getting up early, and also that his plan has worked. Ozzie is in for second victory when Ricky tells him that he won’t be staying up that night because he has missed his afternoon nap in the back of Ozzie’s car, since Ozzie has taken it in for a tune-up. Ozzie predicts that the one good thing about the whole exercise is that he probably lost a couple of inches around the waist. However, the tape measure shows that he gained two inches… only because Harriet had cut off the first two inches of the tape measure to get David to stop. Ozzie is ready to turn in early that night, but then sees all of th egreat programs on late that night. Jack Wagner is the TV announcer. 1/1/23
• 052. The Insurance Policy – 12/11/1953
  • Ozzie suspects that Harriet lost something as she searches through her things, but she doesn’t want to tell him what it is as she’s afraid he’ll think she lost it subconsciously because she didn’t like it. Eventually, she reveals that it is a pin that Ozzie gave her for their 13th wedding anniversary that featured a prominent “13” on it. She hasn’t worn it much as she feels that others sometimes act superstitious to be around her. They and the boys search the entire house trying to find it, but when they can’t, Ozzie calls the insurance company. An adjuster named Mr. Matthews (Frank Cady) comes to record the circumstances of the item, and Ozzie shares that the sentimental value can’t be replaced, but that he paid $125. After he tells this to Mr. Matthews three times, Matthews tells him that the company had appraised it at $150. The check for $125 arrives quickly, and since it is made out to both of them, Ozzie and Harriet start arguing immediately as to who is entitled to the money. Harriet goes shopping that afternoon, and when she comes home, she tells Ozzie that she is signing the money over to him. The reason is that she purchased a new winter coat while shopping, and now expects Ozzie to pay for it using the check. Later, while cleaning out the back of the car after making a mess during a drive-in movie, Ricky and David find the anniversary pin and give it to their parents. Ozzie isn’t sure how it will handled by the insurance company, but he offers to turn the pin over since the check has already been cashed. Mr. Matthews makes it clear that the company requires the check, and not the pin. Ozzie tells Harriet that she’ll need to return the coat, but show won’t hear of that. Ozzie consults Thorny to see his opinion, and he merely tells Ozzie that married men have to do things like this all of the time. Ozzie reluctantly tells Harriet that she can keep the coat and pin, but Harriet has a surprise for Ozzie: she had sold the pin and she gives Ozzie the check for $125 so he can cover the cost of the coat. She has sold it to Mr. Matthews who thinks he has gotten a great deal since the insurance company has appraised the pin at $150. Harriet finally tells Ozzie that the pin wasn’t as sentimental as it might have been if he hadn’t given it to her on their 14th anniversary. Ozzie says that this explains Dave’s age, since he’s been a year off on anniversaries ever since. 1/2/23
• 053. Credit Reference – 12/18/1953
  • Ricky has been playing with Will Thornberry’s counterfeit money machine. David has been busy planning for their club school rally bonfire. When Harriet an item of Thorny’s mail, she sends it over with Ricky, but he nearly takes the whole stack. Ozzie complains that Ricky needs to focus on his responsibilities at home more. Ozzie gets a letter from Thorny in the batch of mail, which is a payoff from a five-year old bet… but it is paid with Will’s counterfeit Confederate money. Ozzie also gets a letter from the new department store Wentworth’s asking for a credit reference for Thorny. Ozzie jokingly fills it out with gag answers, including ones concerning Thorny’s counterfeit money and his welching on debts. Ozzie goes over to bring Thorny his piece of mail and they have a laugh over the money Thorny sent to Ozzie. Then Ozzie tells him how poorly he filled out the credit reference. Thorny is so angry he rips up the letter, but it is the bill that was delivered to Ozzie by mistake. When Ozzie gets back home, he realizes that Thorny’s credit reference is missing, and then learns that Ricky thought it was real mail and hand-delivered it to Wentworth’s. Ozzie heads down and speaks to their credit manager (Hal Smith) and attempts to explain the joke, but the manager just keeps thanking him for bringing Thorny’s poor credit to his attention. David has run out of money for his bonfire and has been unable to find wood for it. Ricky tells David that he can help supply the firewood if he is invited to the party. Thorny comes to see Ozzie about the credit reference and to finally pay Ozzie back his $5 bet. When Ozzie admits that he accidentally sent the letter, Thorny is okay with it because it will keep Katherine from spending much when she visits the store. Still, it seems as if there are a lot of packages from Wentworth’s delivered to his house. Ozzie spots even more Wentworth’s packages stacking up in his back yard, including many giant purchases including a piano. When Harriet gets home, Ozzie is confounded over how he could have spent so much. David then reveals that Wentworth’s has given the boys some of their used crates and delivered it to their backyard so that they can use it as firewood at their bonfire. Harriet shows Ozzie her purchases of a dress, a hat, and a pair of shoes. She also tells him that since Katherine was not allowed to use her Wentworth charging account so she told Katherine to use Ozzie’s charge account. Harriet thinks she’ll pay it back quickly, as Will is at home printing up the money. Thorny gets his credit straightened out with the credit manager and two policemen. 1/4/23
• 054. The Miracle – 12/25/1953
  • It’s the day after Christmas and the family is basking in the afterglow of the holiday. However, the boys wonder if their Grandma Nelson back in Ridgefield, New Jersey, forgot to send them their gifts since nothing has arrived. Ozzie tells them that have to have faith in their grandmother, just like the wisemen had faith that the North Star would lead them to the Christ child. Ozzie relates a story from when he was a boy about how he and his brother Alfred (David Nelson) had faith in their father George (Ozzie Nelson) one Christmas. George had received a cheap barometer for Christmas, and the barometer indicated that it was supposed to snow. Young Ozzie (Ricky Nelson) and Al were excited about this, as they had just received new skis for Christmas and wanted to use them. Since they were so excited and asked for their father’s opinion, George tells them that it could indeed snow. The boys had such strong faith in him that they were convinced that it would indeed happen. George’s wife Ethel (Harriet Nelson) warns him that the chances are very slim. George even calls the Weather Bureau and speaks to Charlie Thornberry (Don DeFore), who tells him that it will indeed snow… but only in other cities. George keeps staring at the barometer pointing to snow. Sure enough, the next morning, it is snowing and they boys are thrilled that they can go skiing. Ethel then points out to George that the barometer is promotional item for the Brewster Coal and Fuel Company that is advertising ordering coal for snowy days, and the needle never moves away from snow. Back in the present, the boys enjoy Ozzie’s story, and as they head to bed, Ricky decides to ask Ozzie if he can make it snow the next day so they can go skiing. Ozzie is busy reading the paper and grunts out a mm-hmm, which is enough for Ricky. He covers his bed in extra blankets that night, which David steals when he starts to believe it will snow. David also points out that they don’t even have skiis. The next morning, it is a beautiful day with no snow. Ricky is disappointed and reminds Ozzie that he promised snow. Ozzie has no recollection of this at all. Thorny then stops by and offers to take the boys skiing at Mountview Lodge since it has snowed in the mountains. They are excited to go, but Harriet points out that they don’t have skiis. Just then, a delivery man (Dick Ryan) brings the gift that Grandma Nelson has sent… brand new skis. NOTE: This show was raran on 12/23/1959, with Harriet demonstrating some ways to make Quaker Oatmeal with applesauce. She and Ozzie talk about how much they are enjoying the Christmas season, and Ozzie reminisces about his days in Ridgefield, New Jersey. Harriet then introduces the Christmas 1953 episode. 6/8/23
• 055. The Hunter – 1/1/1954
  • While the boys are playing basketball in the driveway, Ozzie and Thorny get into a conversation about how things were rougher when they were kids. This leads to a discussion about hunting and how men are still rugged despite being domesticated. When Thorny mentions that if they were still single, they could pick up and go hunting. Ozzie suggests that they do it anyway, so they begin to prepare for a weekend hunting trip by practicing their moose calls. Harriet says she wouldn’t mind if he went on the trip but questions his decision to pick up hunting for the first time and spend time out in the cold and rainy outdoors. Ozzie assures her that he needs to let out his ‘savage beast’ once in a while. Ozzie slowly starts to change his mind about the trip when David tells him about a news story of some hunters who were lost in the woods for over a week. Ozzie starts to ask Harriet if she is worried about him going away, but she says she will be fine. Ozzie makes a call to the weather bureau to find out the forecast, and the man (voice of Joseph Kearns) tells him that it will be great hunting weather: cold and snowy so they can follow animal tracks. Ozzie then suddenly realizes that he doesn’t have any hunting equipment and thinks it would be selfish to waste money on something just to satisfy his whim. On his way to tell Thorny the bad news, he runs into Emmy Lou, who is thoroughly excited about their trip. She also offers to have her father loan Ozzie all of the equipment that he needs. Ozzie mentions to Harriet that there was a prowler at the Randolphs who left footprints in their flower bed, and suggests that maybe he shouldn’t go with prowlers in the area. She insists she will be fine since the Randolphs live across town. Ozzie gets up in the middle of the night, puts on Harriet’s robe and two left shoes and goes outside to traipse through Thorny’s and his own flower bed. He manages to lock himself out, but fortunately the door swings open on its own. The next morning, Harriet finds the flower bed and admits that she would be too worried for Ozzie to leave. Thorny has found the two left-footed prints in his flower bed as well, so they agree to postpone the trip for one or two years. Ozzie admits to Thorny that he’d never hunted a single time in his life, and Thorny admits that the Moose head over his fireplace was won by Kathryn’s sister in a Bingo game. Later, Ricky catches his mother scraping the mud off of Ozzie’s two left shoes. She admits that she followed Ozzie when he went outside and was the one who let him in. Ozzie announces that he never found out that Harriet knew he was the left-footed prowler. Ricky plays with the duck and moose calls, and a cow (Christine) shows up at the door. 6/8/23
• 056. Ozzie’s Night Out – 1/8/1954
  • While Ozzie is hanging out downtown on a street bench, Thorny runs into him and invites Ozzie to go out to the movies or bowling that night. Ozzie declines and tells Thorny that he will be helping the boys with his homework and Harriet with balancing the checkbook. Back home, Harriet receives a visit from her friend Helen (Helen Parrish), who stops by after a visit with the hairdresser. She tells Harriet that she feels guilty about having such a glorious life while her husband is off working and then has to come home and listen to her boring stories. Harriet tells Helen how much Ozzie seems to just enjoy being home with the family, but Helen mentions how one of their friends forced her husband to stay home every night and he winded up running out on her. Harriet later tells the boys that they need to give Ozzie a break that night when he gets home and not annoy him by asking him to help with the homework and the checkbook. That night after dinner, everyone declines getting help from Ozzie, and Harriet tells him to take the night off and do something with his friends. Ozzie calls up Thorny to tell him that they can now go bowling or to a movie, but it is too late: Thorny has offered to help Will with his homework and to help Kathryn with some chores. Ozzie tells Thorny about how Harriet nearly insisted that he go out that night, but Thorny takes the opportunity to tease him and tell him that she must be furious with him to kick him out. Ozzie gets annoyed and head out for a night on his own. Back at home, the boys struggle to get through their homework, and Harriet cannot get the checkbook to balance. They all comment on how much they miss having Ozzie there. Harriet falls asleep while knitting and dreams of Ozzie running all over town in the company of other women. Ozzie finally comes home around 12:30 in the morning. Harriet is very curious as to what Ozzie has been doing, and he tells her that he couldn’t bowl since the lanes were full of leagues, the movie theater was closed for renovation, and he got kicked out of the library at 9pm. He watched TV through the department store window until they shut out their lights, and then he hung out in the park talking to a stranger until a policemen kicked him out. Ozzie asks Harriet what he did wrong for her to kick him out, but she tells him she only wanted him to have a night to himself. He says that every one of his friends is at home where he belongs with his family. Ozzie works on the homework and the checkbook until the wee hours of the morning and then heads to bed. Harriet wants to sleep with the light on to make sure that Ozzie isn’t smiling in his sleep. The next morning, Thorny laments how he did Will’s homework for him but didn’t receive a single thank you. It made him glad that he did all of the math problems incorrectly. 6/9/23
• 057. The Camera Show – 1/15/1954
  •  While the boys are sampling Harriet’s cake that she made for dinner, Ozzie comes home and tells the boys he’s been appointed the head of the PTA set-up committee for the next PTA card night. He plans to try and rope some friends into helping set up so he doesn’t have to do the heavy work. He also tells the boys that he got surprises from the entire family, so when Harriet comes down to the living room, he tells them that he bought four cameras so that each one of them has their own. The boys take off to take candid pictures all over town. Ozzie offers Harriet some of the cake before he digs in, but she tells him that she is giving up snacking for a while since she has put on some weight… just as Ozzie has. He rises to the challenge, and they agree to not eat any sweets between meals. Ozzie finds Thorny in the drug store and attempts to recruit him to the committee, but Thorny is more interested in talking about the Frozen Passion milkshake he is eating. Thorny insists on buying one for Ozzie, but Ozzie explains the agreement he made with Harriet. However, Thorny reminds him of a loophole since they never decided when the contest started. Ozzie agrees to have one of his own, and Thorny insists on paying, telling Ozzie how much his friendship means to him. Thorny then takes off before Ozzie can ask him to join the setup committee. Harriet points out how smart Thorny was to get out of the committee, and Ozzie suddenly realizes he has been swindled. He tries to call Thorny all afternoon, but Thorny never picks up. Rick comes home and shows Ozzie one of the candid photos he took: Ozzie eating his Frozen Passion. Ozzie insists on buying the picture from him so that Harriet doesn’t see him. Then David comes home with a similar candid picture, so Ozzie buys it from him. Thorny also has several copies of the picture, but he will only give them to Ozzie if he agrees not to put him on the setup committee. They then come to an agreement that Thorny will help with the setup if Ozzie will also participate in the manual labor. Harriet then invites Ozzie to join her for some chocolate cake. Ozzie is puzzled when Harriet tells him that their agreement still stand, but that it doesn’t start until the next day. Ozzie tells Harriet that he thought their contest started that day, but she says that she thought the same thing until she overheard a man telling his friend that the contest doesn’t start until the next day. She also has pictures of Ozzie, who then leaves to go buy a photo album. Later, Ozzie gets a call from Mr. Miller the drugstore owner, who tells Ozzie that Thorny never paid the check for the Frozen Passions. The waitress is played by Margaret Hedin. 6/9/23
• 058. Courage – 1/22/1954
  • After Ozzie chats with the boys about putting forth their best effort and showing courage and fortitude in sports and everything they do in life, he gets a chance to exercise this himself when Harriet asks him to exchange some lingerie at Nancy’s department store. He agrees to do it, knowing that it will make him uncomfortable, and sure enough he faces some rocky patches during the exchange with the sales lady (Gale Robbins) and a customer (June Sweeney) who thinks he works there. He also realizes that Harriet never told him what exactly she wanted to exchange. Eventually gets through the transaction, and the sales lady is quick to compliment him on how much courage he has as a husband to come into a lingerie store for his wife. Likewise, Harriet gives him kudos, as well as an apology for making him struggle by not giving him all of the information. The boys overhears the talk of the struggle and think that their father got into a fist fight. Later, Ozzie tries to talk to Ozzie about courage, but Thorny thinks he is talking about him since he had just accepted a challenge from Joe Randolph’s nephew to do push-ups. Thorny claims he manages to get through twenty of them, which Ozzie finds hard to believe. He tries to explain that courage is not always about physical prowess, but about doing something you’re not obligated to do. Thorny interprets this that he got into a fight with Harriet, causing Ozzie to tell him to forget the whole thing. Ozzie later tries to see how many push-ups he can do but comes up short of Thorny’s twenty and only completes fifteen. As Ozzie is trying to catch his breath, the boys come in and announce that Will told them that Thorny did fifty push-ups. This annoys Ozzie even more, as he can’t even figure out how he could have done twenty. Thorny then stops by to tell him that he just heard about Ozzie returning the lingerie for Harriet and compliments him by telling him how much more impressive Ozzie’s feat was than his own fifteen push-ups, which he finally admits is the real number. Naturally, he has an ulterior motive and asks Ozzie to go exchange a lingerie item for his wife Kathryn. World spreads all over the neighborhood and soon Ozzie is getting calls from all the husbands who need his help with lingerie. 6/11/23
• 059. The Incentive – 1/29/1954
  • In an effort to assist Ricky with saving his money, Ozzie offers to match whatever Ricky has left over by the end of the week after he gets his dollar for allowance. David comes home before Ozzie sees Ricky and tells his father that Ricky worked out with some construction workers to get all of the old pop bottles, numbering around 100, that are stored in an old house that is being torn down. Rick thinks he can get between two and five cents per bottle by returning them to supermarkets. Thorny points out that this might mean that Ozzie will have quite a hefty bill to match Ricky’s ‘leftover’ money at the end of the week. Ozzie argues that he only meant that for the amount that is left from Ricky’s allowance but has to admit to Thorny that this was never specified. Ozzie starts to become really concerned when he thinks how much Ricky will have after he doubles the money, and then saves all of that money until the end of the following week. Ricky doesn’t make him feel any better when he comes to claim his allowance so he can hire some friends to help him transport the bottles from the old house to their own garage, and then alludes to the money that Ozzie will be adding to his earnings. Unfortunately, Ricky runs into a problem when he finds that the bottles are so far out of date that none of the supermarkets will buy them from him. Ozzie offers to give him an advance on his next allowance, but Ricky declines the offer. Ozzie feels bad for Ricky, so he and Thorny come up with an idea for Thorny to disguise himself as a junk man who offers a couple of bucks for the bottles. Harriet hires a Mr. Callahan (Arthur Q. Bryan) from the Callahan Salvage Company to do the same thing, and David gets the same idea and hires Mr. Tracy (Brick Sullivan) from the A1 Salvage Company to pretend to buy the bottles. By the time Thorny shows up disguised as Rusty Bumper to do the same, they’ve all realized that the bottles are no longer in the garage. Ricky has sold them to the Gay Nineties mart shop where the owner is using them for decoration. Ozzie is also off the hook, as Ricky has agreed to be paid in sundaes and malts. Ricky later boasts to his mother that the girls at school are doing his homework, as they are all impressed how Ricky can order ice cream and tell the shop to put them on his account. 6/11/23
• 060. Too Many Children – 2/5/1954
  • After Ozzie breaks up a pillow fight between David and Ricky, he and Harriet end up talking about how their boys, especially David, are on their way to becoming big, strong men. Later, Ozzie stops by Thorny’s house, where Thorny is preparing to have Katherine’s nephew Gerald is coming to visit. Thorny seems to not be looking forward to it and is taking the lamps out of the house so he won’t break it. Ozzie mentions how much Harriet misses having little boys around the house and offers to have Gerald over to their house to play. Thorny agree that is sounds like a great idea. Meanwhile, Harriet’s friend Helen (Helen Perry) is having her house remodeled and mentions how her little boys Georgie and Harry are getting in the way. Remembering how Ozzie was lamenting not having the little boys around, she volunteers to watch the boys for Helen. Once the share information, neither has a problem with having all three of the boys over, but then they both learn that Gerald has brought a couple of friends, and Helen’s boys have their cousins with them, leaving them with eight boys. Ozzie gets the idea to take them all camping, so he has Ricky and David take them out to borrow camping gear from the neighbors. Along the way, they pick up even more neighborhood boys who want to go along. Once the reassemble at the Nelson house, it starts to rain, so they set up the tents in the living room in front of the fire and have their activities there. Harriet makes them all stew and bread, and then they chicken fight, listen to Ozzie sing, roast marshmallows in the fire, and then get ready to sleep in the tents. One little boy named Tony (Anthony C. Montenaro) asks Ozzie to read him a bedtime story but doesn’t want to hear any of the conventional ones. Ozzie then pulls out the comic book Two Fisted Tales and tells him the story of Captain Flame and the Space Bandits. All of the boys then come out of their tents to listen. Ozzie plays Taps on his saxophone as they all drift off to sleep. The next morning the kids all go home. After they’re gone, Harriet mentions that it was a good thing that it rained as it would have been hard to manage all of the boys outdoors. Ozzie admits that he knew it was going to rain, and that’s why he suggested camping. Harriet reminds Ozzie that he could have another kid around soon… since David is now approaching adulthood. When Davis says he needs some money to take someone to the movie, Ozzie warns him he needs to play the field a bit and not rush into anything. David then says he meant he was taking Ricky. Thorny leaves Ozzie a note about the camping party, and how all of the kids think he was a hero for it and now insists on making marshmallows and putting up tents in the living room. The gift accompanying the note is a can of candy… which is filled with spring snakes. 8/27/23
• 061. David’s Career – 2/12/1954
  • Rick explains to the audience how his mother makes him happy by playing basketball with him, and he makes her happy by brushing his teeth with Listerine. Ricky is feeling down when he buys Sally Hughes two chocolate sodas and then refuses his invitation to the movies. Meanwhile, David has been hanging out at Mr. Thompson’s (Robert B. Williams) garage, and not just for the cheesecake calendars. Ozzie and Harriet start chatting about how David is becoming an adult and will be choosing his vocation soon. He later talks about this with Thorny as well, and he talks himself into thinking that David might become a mechanic one day. Thorny thinks that Will’s school program is gearing him up for a medical career. During further discussion with Harriet, Ozzie maps out a successful career for David in his head, culminating with him owning his own service station, which then leads to a chain of garages and a used car lot run by “Honest” Dave Nelson which brings him big fortunes in oil stocks through his connections. His secretary will be literally pouring bags of money on his desk. Ozzie and Thorny later meet over milk and cookies to discuss Will and David’s future, but Thorny makes sure to mention that Ozzie has no reason to be ashamed of being a mechanic, while Will may need him to pull him out of the mud during one of his house calls. They both get carried away with describing which is the more difficult occupation. After their conversation, Ozzie gets cold feet about David becoming a mechanic, and wants to make sure that David is never abused by Will. He tells Harriet that David should go to law school or medical school. Both parents agree that David should be whatever he wants… except a mechanic. Ozzie goes to visit Mr. Thompson and realizes how important mechanics are at keeping the world running. He says in this day and age, he’d rather be a mechanic than any other profession. Ozzie comes home rejuvenated by his conversation with Mr. Thompson and wants to talk to David to encourage him. When David gets home, Ozzie tells him that he supports his career choice. However, David now wants to be a sports announcer, while Ricky announces he wants to be the president of a bank. Rick implies that David only hung out at the garage for the calendars. Thorny tells Ozzie that Will no longer wants to be a doctor and has now set his sights on being a mechanic. 10/4/23 
• 062.  Harriet Gives a Party – 2/19/1954
  • Harriet announces that she and her family are featured in the new Redbook magazine, which includes an article called The Girl I Married by Ozzie. Harriet is planning a party and carefully mapping out the guest list and seating chart. Ozzie suggests that she not go to all of the trouble and just phone everyone at the last minute and ask them if they’d like to join the party. Thorny hears the rumors of the party quickly through the grapevine, and he insists that he and Katherine are invited since they’ve been stuck at home on Saturday nights for the last several months. Thorny is concerned that some of his parlor tricks have caused him to be unpopular at parties, especially when he spilled a stack of dishes, spilled his tie into a soup tureen, and performed his impressions. Meanwhile, Harriet receives a visit from Carolyn Calhoun (Jorja Curtright) who has just been released from the hospital after having her appendix out. To celebrate, she wants to hold her own party to celebrate, so Harriet agrees to postpone her party so that she can attend Carolyn’s. She specifically tells Harriet not to mention the party to the Thornberrys because she doesn’t have room for their extra headcount. Ozzie has to tell Thorny that their party is cancelled. Thorny becomes angry and bitter and tells Ozzie that he doesn’t have to worry about having things to do since he is so popular. Ozzie and Harriet both feel so sad abotu Thorny being left out that they decide to skip Carolyn’s party and invite the Thornberrys over for dinner. Harriet calls and cancels coming to Carolyn’s party, and the Ozzie goes over to tell Thorny the good news. However, in the meantime, the Thornberrys have been invited to another party. Thorny plans to do his new impersonation of President Eisenhower and Margaret Truman. Ozzie then becomes angry at Thorny since his plans for the weekend have been wrecked. They call Carolyn to see if they can be re-invited to the party, but she tells them that they have already replaced the Nelsons with the Thornberrys, making Ozzie even angrier about the situation. Thorny later stops over to see Ozzie and apologizes about the situation, telling him that he cancelled out on Carolyn so they can spend the evening with Ozzie and Harriet. All is forgiven by Ozzie… until Harriet tells Ozzie that Carolyn had been ordered by her doctor to cancel the party and get some bed rest following her operation. Ozzie is ready to cancel his invitation to Thorny to come to their dinner party again, but instead decides to try and overshadow Thorny’s impressions of Eisenhower and Truman with his own. However, they don’t escape without any damages as Thorny drops a punch bowl in the dining room. 10/4/23
• 063. Old Fashioned Remedy – 2/26/1954
  • When Harriet mentions that Ricky wasn’t feeling well and that Frank “Doc” Williams (Frank Cady) gave both boys shots of the antibiotic Argipenecitine, Ozzie says that he doesn’t believe in these newfangled antibiotics and prefers to put his father in the old Gaffney’s Blood Tonic that he used to get as a boy. Later, Ozzie goes over to get Thorny to go bowling, but he isn’t feeling well either. Doc Williams is paying him a house call giving him a shot of Argipenecitine as well. Ozzie argues about his miracle cure, but Doc tells him that it is 20% alcohol and that is why his grandmother used to feel good whenever she took it. Ozzie winds up going to the alley alone, and when he comes home, he is feeling tired and begins sneezing as well. Harriet offers to call Doc so that Ozzie can get a shot, but Ozzie makes her call Mr. Miller (voice of Joseph Kearns) down at the drugstore to see if he can find some Gaffney’s Blood Tonic so that he can prove that it is more medicinal than Argipenecitine. After he manages to find one lone bottle left on the shelf, he delivers it to Ozzie, who drinks the entire bottle. Sure enough, he quickly feels better, but it too loopy to stand up and get out of bed. Ozzie insists that although he feels better, he needs a second bottle for it to truly take effect. Harriet indulges him and goes and finds a second bottle at Dr. Wong’s Chinese Herbs. Sure enough, the second bottle does the trick and Ozzie feels great the next day. He heads straight for Doc’s office so that he can rub it in that the tonic cured him. Doc relishes every word that Ozzie said, because he then reveals that Harriet brought him the bottle and that he had added Argipenecitine to Ozzie’s tonic. Ozzie is angry about being tricked, but Doc calms him down by telling him that what must have happened is that the Argipenecitine combined with the sassafras in the tonic and made an even stronger, more potent drug. Ozzie leaves feeling victorious, but afterward Doc confides in the druggist on the phone that the phony drug that he had referred to as argipenasassafritine is a sure cure for ‘stubbornness’. The next morning, Ozzie wakes up feeling bad from his cold again, so Harriet suggests that he take some tomato juice and Worcestershire sauce, which is great for hangovers. 10/5/23
• 064. The Initiation – 3/5/1954
  • David comes home with his friend Stan Taylor (Orley Lindgren), who is acting like his servant, singing David’s highest praises, and brushing him off with a small hand broom. He explains that Stan is one of the pledges in their class club and that they will be going through a club initiation. Ozzie starts talking about some the clubs he went through initiation for as a kind, including one that made him sit atop a ladder on a frozen lake, and another one in which he was covered in multiple colors of paint. While shooting basketball outside, Thorny stops by and tells Ozzie that Will is one of the pledges that will go through the initiation that night. Thorny is worried about Will, and he reminds Ozzie that David is head of the Initiation Committee. Thorny even goes out of his way to buy David a new shirt. However, when Harriet discovers cans of paint in their backyard along with a ladder, they both become a little worried. Thorny also sees the paraphernalia and becomes even more worried that Will could get injured if they try the same pranks that Ozzie had gone through. Ozzie admits that he wasn’t actually in the lake but were blindfolded over a snow drift. Ozzie eventually agree that they should hide the ladder behind Thorny’s garage. However, Ozzie thinks the paint will be fair game for the initiation. That afternoon, Thorny storms into Ozzie’s house complaining that Will came home covered in paint. Ozzie thinks the paint is par for the course, but Thorny isn’t happy about it. Then David comes home, and he too is covered in paint. He tells his parents that they decided to do something helpful rather than frivolous and destructive for the initiation, so they all got together and painted the club room at the church. Will got more paint on him because the pledges had to hold the other boys on their shoulders to paint the ceiling… since someone had stolen their ladders. Since David has to return the ladder to Mr. Dunkel, Ozzie and Thorny excuse themselves to leave the room. David tells them to just put the ladder in Mr. Dunkel’s garage. Later, David borrows three dollars from Ricky to go to the dance, under the condition that David will be Ricky’s slave for 24 hours. 10/5/23
• 065. Ricky’s Lost Letter – 3/12/1954
  • Ricky is struggling to write a letter, but doesn’t want any help from his parents. David then reveals to them that Ricky is having trouble writing a letter back to a girl named Mary Carson, whom he met at the lake over Christmas break. He says that he bought Mary a couple of ice cream sodas and she told him she would only pay him back if he wrote her a letter. Meanwhile, Thorny comes over and offers Ozzie an ice cream bar, and when they sit down to eat them, Thorny drips some of his chocolate onto one of the shirts Ricky has lying around. Ozzie thinks the short is old and needs pitched anyway, so he rips it up and uses it to wash his car. Ricky finally finishes writing a tiny postcard to Mary, but now he cannot find the original letter to get Mary’s address off of it. He eventually remembers that he left it in the pocket of his old shirt, but by now, Ozzie has used it to wash the car, and they find that the letter is now soggy and unreadable. Ricky sits up in his room and laments the situation, thinking that he is having bad luck and that he doesn’t even want to stay in the house since his luck has been so bad. When Ozzie tells Thorny about the situation, Thorny looks at some of the photos of Mary to try and gets some cluses and winds up finding out that Mary is standing next to a car. He thinks he can get the license plate from it and get one of his friends at the police department track down the car in order to find Mary’s address. In the meantime, Ozzie suggests that they all team up to keep Ricky occupied and get his mind off the missing address. They play basketball, volleyball, ping-pong and other sports, take him to movies, bake him cakes, and buy him milkshakes between the three of them. Ozzie shows Harriet his plan to get the license bureau to help find Mary’s address, but Harriet points out that the car in the picture belongs to themselves. David recognizes their car in the picture, and furthermore tells his father that he is the one who took the picture. With no way to obtain the address at this point, Ozzie proposes they stop spoiling Ricky and that he can now face the problem himself. Just then, David comes in with the mail, and finds that there is a letter from Mary with a good return address on it now. Ricky doesn’t seem to care much, and only got depressed that he had given Mary his lucky rabbit’s foot and thought he needed it back so that he could be a lucky boy again… only to realize that with everyone spoiling him, he is already about as lucky as can be. Harriet tells him that she thinks his luck may have just run out. Later, Thorny calls Ozzie toe tell him about how he borrowed his car to go to the license bureau, but then found out that his friend there is on vacation. Ozzie suggests that Thorny look out the window and see if he can write down the license plate number of Ozzie’s car but doesn’t tell him why. 10/7/23
• 066. Father and Son Tournament – 3/19/1954
  • Ricky comes home excited that there is going to be a table tennis tournament at the YMCA, and he thinks that he and his father will be worth adversaries to anyone. David, however, gets to Ozzie as soon as he comes home and claims him as a partner before Ricky ever sees them. Harriet tells Ozzie that Ricky was also counting on being his partner, so Ozzie gathers them together and they flip a coin and David wins the toss. Meanwhile, Ozzie visits Thorny and finds out that he and Will are also entering the contest, and they begin to have a friendly argument about which team will win the tournament. Ricky later approaches David and tells him that there is dance he will miss if he plays in the tournament and even offers to pay Dave’s way for the night should he decide to go. When David realizes how much Ricky wants to play in the tournament, he decides to let Ricky take his place in the tournament and to go to the dance instead. When Ozzie finds out about the dance, he tells David that he will loan the money so that Will can go along to the dance with him. Harriet sees this as a dirty trick, but Ozzie tells her that “all is fair in love and ping-pong.” Ozzie tries to hint to Thorny that he and Will may not even show up for the tournament, but Thorny says that he is in charge of the trophy committee so he will surely be there. Ozzie tells Harriet to prepare a spot on the mantel for his and Ricky’s trophies. Sure enough, Ozzie and Ricky win the tournament, but they are surprised when their trophies are so small that they can fit in their pockets. Thorny comes over to show Ozzie the trophy that he received as runner-up, and it is massive. Harriet is confused as to how he was eligible to be in the contest at all since Will went to the dance with David. Thorny then invites his Father (Don DeFore) in to meet the Nelsons. Making matters worse, Thorny and his father get a big photo and article in the newspaper as runners-up, even though they lost 21-5. Ozzie thinks it is all a drity trick, but Thorny reminds him that “all is fair in love and ping-pong.” 10/8/23
• 067. Gentleman David – 3/26/1954
  • David laments the fact that the school is having a ‘Backwards Dance’ where the girls invite the boys, and he tells his father that it looks like he won’t be going. Ozzie starts to feel upset that David hasn’t been invited to the dance since he is such a nice and popular boy. As Ozzie tries to get David’s shoes shined up in the garage, he discusses the dance with Thorny, and has a hard time admitting that no one has invited Dave. Thorny brags that his son Will is planning to go, but he’s not sure which of the many offers he has accepted. Ozzie becomes more and more angry that not a single girl has invited David, when Will seems to have had no trouble. Ozzie decides to step in and call his lodge brothers to try and line up one of their daughters to ask David to the dance. Ozzie then remembers his old friend Wally (Lloyd Corrigan) and Marge Dipple, who used to be in their Bridge club. Although Ozzie hasn’t seen him in a year or so, he decides to stop by his office. The two have a nice chat, and Wally is enthusiastic about having his daughter Prunella ask David to the dance. Back home, David tells Harriet that a couple girl actually invited him to the dance, but the first one was a girl he didn’t want to go with so he turned her down and told her he couldn’t go. Then when a girl he liked, Nancy Baker, asked him to go, he couldn’t accept the invitation without hurting the first girl’s feelings, so he decides to just go to a show with Nancy. Harriet tells Ozzie that David already had plans during the dance, and David confirms that it was Prunella Dipple, the class brain, who he turned down in the first place. Ozzie worries about the call from Prunella, but it is Wally who actually calls and tells Ozzie that Prunella already asked a boy to the dance… Will Thornberry. Ozzie find the whole thing humorous and head over to Thorny to rib him. Later, David confesses that Prunella came into the malt shop with Will, and he was surprised with how attractive she really was. He dons a pair of glasses and heads out to hang out at the aquarium and the museum in hopes of running into “Prunie.” 2/5/24
• 068. David Writes a Column – 4/2/1954
  • David is assigned in English class to write an article for school newspaper and struggles to come up with an idea of what to write about. Meanwhile, Ozzie runs into Thorny at the bus stop downtown and they discuss the poor performance of the school baseball team that David and Will are on. As they discuss the foibles of the team, they come to the conclusion that it is the coaching strategy that is the problem with the team. Ozzie suggests that David come up with something that is important to the school, and David decides to write about how poorly the baseball team is doing. Ozzie thinks the subject should focus on putting the blame in the right place. David stays up through all hours of the night, wearing one of Ozzie’s hats, and typing the article. Later, Ozzie heads over to the drug store to pick up some ice cream, and there he runs into the baseball team’s coach Ralph Shipley (Gil Stratton), who recognizes Ozzie as David’s father. Shipley is very kind to Ozzie and invites him to come help give some pointers to him and the boys. He also mentions some of the bad luck that the team has been having, losing their shortstop to an appendix removal, and having to drop their pitcher who flunked Spanish class. He also says that he is a math teacher, so he is doing double duty. Finally, he says he is paying a visit to the shortstop who had his appendix out to bring him ice cream and comic books. The next time Ozzie runs into Thorny, he takes a different side in the argument about whose fault the team’s failures are, insisting that they were much too hard on the coach. Ozzie also becomes more worried that David’s article is going to be too hard on the Coach Shipley. However, when David reads Ozzie the article, he finds that David actually gave the coach a great write-up, while he criticizes his own team for being lazy at practice and trying to be their own stars rather than play as a team. David says that everyone recognizes that Coach Shipley is a great coach except for some of the fathers. When Ozzie warns David that some might think he is buttering the coach up to get a better spot on the team, David says he really feels that way about the coach… and that he is also his math teacher. Later, Ozzie chats with Thorny again and this time Thorny thinks the world of the coach and says all of the same things that the coach had told Ozzie. It turns out that Thorny ran into him at the drugstore as well. 2/5/24
• 069. Over Protection – 4/9/1954
  • When Harriet stops Ricky from leaving the house because he doesn’t have a jacket on, isn’t wearing a nice enough shirt, and hasn’t cleaned his ears, Ozzie criticizing her for being too overprotective of him now that he’s a thirteen-year-old boy. Harriet listens to Ozzie’s advice and decides to emancipate Ricky to be his own man. To everyone’s delight, Ricky’s habits and behaviors become even more responsible than before. By the time Ricky gets a letter from his friend and former neighbor Johnny Cooper, who lives 150 upstate in Claremont, inviting Ricky to take the train up to visit him, Harriet is ready to let him go right away. Ozzie, however, is not so sure, and thinks they need to discuss whether Ricky is old enough and responsible enough to travel that far away on his own. As Ozzie labors over the idea while polishing his car, Thorny stops by to chat and tells Ozzie he’s be crazy to let Ricky go on his own. This settles it for Ozzie, and he decides to help Ricky pack for the trip. He and Ricky begin studying the train timetables. The night before Ricky is set to leave, Ozzie comes to be date and wakes Harriet up, telling her not to worry, and that the worst thing that could happen would be Ricky getting off the train too early. This starts to get Harriet worried again. The next morning, Ricky is up at the crack of dawn packing and re-packing his suitcase. Ozzie is finally full of confidence that Ricky will be okay, and he cautions Harriet about helping Ricky pack. Ozzie and Harriet take Ricky to the train station, but David has promised to run an errand for Ozzie and pick up some cigars. Harriet has a tear in her eye as Ricky departs home for the first time. Later than day, Harriet is worried that Ricky hasn’t called yet, but a messenger (Bill Cartledge) brings a telegram indicating that Ricky has arrived. She poles fun at Ozzie for having full faith in Ricky, when it turns out that the telegram has come from David. Ozzie admits that he had David drive up to Claremont to get the cigars and check in on Ricky. Suddenly, both Ozzie and Harriet are now worried about David driving back 150 miles at night. After Ricky’s visit with Johnny, they wait at the train station and become worried when Ricky doesn’t get off the train. They ask a conductor (Dick Ryan) about him, and he knows Ricky by name, as he has been sitting with the train engineer for the journey home. 2/6/24
• 070. Be on Time – 4/16/1954
  • David is up and ready for his baseball game, but Ricky is moving slowly so Dave throws Rick in the shower. The family discusses how Rick has been late to a lot of things lately. Ozzie gives them a speech about how inconvenient and embarrassing it is to not be on time for things. In fact, he decides to use this speech as a topic that he plans to discuss at a sports luncheon for the Athletic Association. Meanwhile, Harriet has Ozzie fix the light on the porch, so Ozzie turns off the power so that he won’t be shocked. Thorny visits while he is fixing the light, and Ozzie tells him about his speech plans. He also decides to buy a watch for Ricky to help him be on time. By the time he presents it to him, Ricky has already missed the ball game again by being late. David heads off to the auditorium to set up for the luncheon and reminds Ozzie not to be late to his speech about being on time. While Ozzie rehearses his speech upstairs, Ricky keeps calling the lady’s (Barbara Eiler) voice on the phone to check the time to make sure that it correlates to his watch. Harriet attempts to vacuum but realizes that there is no power in the outlet. Ozzie then realizes he never turned the power back on after fixing the porch light. Making matters worse, he thinks it is 11am, but it is actually 12:50pm, and the luncheon begins at 1:00pm. He tries to decide whether or not to even try and make it, then rushes through getting ready, and once again reconsiders even going, hoping to avoid the embarrassment. Then he gets the idea to show up late and use that as an example of why it is important to show up on time. Pleased with his idea, he indeed shows up at the last minute as Dr. Pepin (Joseph Kearns) introduces him to the audience. After Ozzie gives the introductory spiel about how he was late an inconvenienced everyone, Dr. Pepin interrupts him and tells him that they were expecting a lecture on Plato, and that he is actually at the luncheon of the Philocalian Literary Club. Pepin thought he was Professor Higgins (Francis Pierlot), and Ozzie thought Pepin was Mr. Murchison. Higgins then shows up late, as Ozzie frantically tries to figure out where Mr. Murchison is. Ozzie then runs into David in the lobby, and David tells him that the banquet had been postponed for an hour because the Literary Club had their meeting where they were supposed to be. Later, as everyone at home is congratulating Ozzie on his speech, Dr. Pepin calls and asks Ozzie if he will return to the literary club meeting and finish his speech about being on time. 2/10/24
• 071. An Evening with Hamlet – 4/23/1954
  • At breakfast, Ricky announces that the TV is broken, so his parents promise to get a man out to fix it as soon as possible. David will be busy that night anyway as he has been assigned to read Shakespeare’s Hamlet for English class. Ozzie starts quoting the play and remembering how he studied it in school, then suggests that since the TV is out, the family spend the evening reading the play together. Everyone is on board, even if Ricky isn’t too excited about the prospect. Ozzie runs into Thorny outside and tells him what they are going to do, and Thorny is aware that Will is also studying the play in the same English class. However, Thorny tells Ozzie that he and Doc were going to get together that night to play poker and wanted Ozzie to go. Ozzie tells Thorny that he won’t be able to make it, but when Thorny offers to try and come up with an excuse to get him out of it, Ozzie is open to the suggestion. Ozzie tries to tell Harriet that that he has been thinking about the evening ad thinks that it might be boring to the family. Harriet, however, thinks it is a gfood idea and tells Ozzie that they are all enthusiastic. Ozzie instantly regrets opening his big mouth. That evening, the family sits down to prepare to read Hamlet, but they wind up getting water and fruit before they get started. Then once they start, they are interrupted by a British stranger named Cameron Whitfield (John Carradine), who has come looking for Avon Way, but then tells them that he is a classically trained actor who has performed in Hamlet many times. He asks if he can participate in the reading, and they wholeheartedly bring him on board. Once they begin reading, Thorny and Doc show up, and Doc tells Ozzie that he needs to look him over and that he might need to get out of the house for his health. Ozzie confesses that they are trying to get him to the poker game, and she suggests that they play once they are done reading Hamlet. Thorny and Doc wind up staying and participating in the play also. Finally, the TV repairman (Henry Kulky) show up, and he tells Ozzie that he was in the acting game as well and used to be known as a wrestler named Babyface Mulligan. He winds up performing in their reading as well. The reading eventually comes to an end with everyone in the cast playing dead. Whitfield confesses that he wasn’t really looking for Avon Way but was just called to the house as he had a sign that there was a Shakespeare performance going on inside. Harriet is puzzled about how he really found the place, but then Ricky tells them that he put a sign outside advertising the performance of Hamlet, which would cost a 25-cent admission to see. Whitfield actually did leave some money on the coffee table before he left: a shilling. Whitfield and Mulligan both join the guys for a night of poker. Whitfield leads them to believe he has never played before, but then shuffles and deals like a professional. 2/10/24
• 072. The New Neighbor – 4/23/1954
  • Ozzie chats with the audience and mentions how nice of a neighborhood they live in, especially with neighbors like Thorny, who sometimes goes by the name of Don DeFore, and Doc Williams. He then talks about the time when he first met Doc, before knowing that he a doctor. Via flashback, Ozzie runs into Doc at the bank while both are preparing their deposits. The bank’s pen isn’t working well for Ozzie, so Mr. Williams loans him his pen. The two get to talking and Doc tells him that they just moved into the area. As they are chatting, Ozzie notices that he is about to lose a cuff button, so he offers his pen knife for him to cut it off. Later, Ozzie comes home and finds that his family are all watching the house across the street, where the Williams family is moving in. Ozzie then realizes that the new house belongs to the man he just met at the bank. As he is telling this to Harriet, he suddenly realizes that Doc never gave him his pen knife back. Ozzie starts to complain to Harriet about how an absolute stranger would ask to borrow something and the not return it. He says he’s okay with loaning things to neighbors like Thorny who he has known for years and mentions that he had recently loaned him two dollars as a matter of fact. Ozzie decides to go over and visit Doc and hint around about the pen knife. When he encounters Doc again, Doc is not very friendly, and they have a lot of uncomfortable silence between them. Doc never mentions the knife. Ozzie then goes over and warns Ozzie about Doc, especially when he hears that Mrs. Williams has asks to borrow some sugar from the Thornberrys. Ozzie then starts talking to Harriet about making sure that they keep their doors locked and put their valuables under lock and key in case the Williams are all kleptomaniacs. The boys return from meeting the Williams family, and think that the parents and the kids Gordon and Barbara are all nice people. It takes everything Ozzie had to not tell the boys that they shouldn’t be associating with known gangsters. Doc then comes over to the house and apologizes about walking off with the pen knife, and tells him that he just realized it and is now embarrassed that he didn’t pcik up on Ozzie’s hints. They decide to be straightforward with each other if anything like this ever comes up again, so Doc then reminds Ozzie that he still has possession of Doc’s fountain pen. The two confess how they had called each other names like “big crook” and “kleptomaniac”. They have a good laugh about it and agree to be friends. After Doc leaves, he quickly returns as they realize they still haven’t returned each other’s property. After they finally return the goods, Thorny stops by and tells him that he has taken Ozzie’s hint. He says he saw Doc and Ozzie acting like old friends and thinks that Ozzie made up the whole story to remind Thorny to pay him back his two dollars. 2/10/24

SEASON 3

• 088. Lost Christmas Gift – 12/24/1954
  • On Christmas Eve Ozzie sits by the fire in his study thinking about the holiday and how much he enjoys Christmas afternoon. The next day after the gifts are open, Ozzie is concerned that the boys are more interested in their gifts than the Christmas spirit. After playing catch with David, Ricky mentions how much he needs a catcher’s mitt, which puzzles his parents because they got him one for Christmas. The family searches everywhere for it but cannot locate it. Harriet puts forth the notion that it might have gotten delivered to the other Nelson family across town, so Ozzie and Ricky pay them a visit. They realize that the mother Barbara (Barbara Nelson) and her three kids Tony (Anthony C. Montenaro), Cathy (Cathy Nelson), and Lorie (Lorie Nelson) live by themselves, with the kids’ father having passed away. When they return home, they lament that the kids didn’t get too much for Christmas so they organize a toy drive with the neighbors, and David dresses up like Santa so the family can deliver the gifts. Before they leave, they locate the catchers mitt in plain view under the tree. Ricky decides to give the mitt to Tony, making Ozzie very proud of his boys’ generosity. Ozzie then is awaken by the fire, having dreamed the entire scenario. Harriet mentions that Ricky’s catchers mitt hasn’t show up yet, but Ozzie is certain they’ll find it even if it isn’t until Christmas evening. The family steps out of character to introduce their co-stars including Ozzie’s sister-in-law and their two nieces. 1/21/16 (online)

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