The Terrible Catsafterme

SEASON 1 – NBC

Created by Dan Harmon.

Theme song: “At Least It Was Here” by The 88

• 001. Pilot – 9/17/2009
  • Jeff Winger (Joel McHale) is a disbarred lawyer who is attending Greendale Community College in Colorado in order to try and get his license back. He tries to take advantage of a favor that he once did for faculty member Ian Duncan (John Oliver) when he got him out of a DUI to get all of the test answers for the year. Duncan counter offers a trade of cars which Jeff accepts. Jeff becomes attracted to student Britta Perry (Gillian Jacobs) and lures the skeptical student to a made-up Spanish study group. She invites the seemingly-autistic Abed Nadir (Danny Pudi), who in turns invites along retired entrepreneur Pierce Hawthorne (Chevy Chase), middle-aged divorcee Shirley Bennett (Yvette Nicole Brown), high school dropout Annie Edison (Alison Brie), and high school football star Troy Barnes (Donald Glover). The group quickly falls apart as they begin to argue, and Britta, knowing the study group was a ruse, convinces Jeff to restore order to the group. He convinces the group that they all have common ground and that they truly are a ‘community,’ which seems to work, but Britta rejects Jeff anyway because he lied about the study group. The test answers that Jeff had obtained turn out to be blank, and the group takes pity on him and agrees to help him study. Jim Rash plays Dean Craig Pelton, Dino Stamatopoulos stars as Star-Burns. 1/29/14

• 002. Spanish 101 – 9/24/2009
  • Jeff is chastised by Britta for always being tardy to their study group. Later the group attends Spanish class, which is led by Ben Chang (Ken Jeong), a teacher who makes it clear that he despises people who question why a Chinese man is teaching Spanish. Chang introduces a dialogue assignment and randomly pairs students by passing out picture cards and corresponding Spanish word descriptions. Jeff sees that Britta and Abed are matches, so Jeff gives Abed the shirt off his back to trade cards, which is all for naught when Britta also trades her card with Pierce. Pierce sees the assignment as an opportunity to get close to Jeff and leads them down the path of creating an elaborate story to present to the class. Meanwhile, Shirley and Annie are inspired by Britta’s tales of Guatemalan injustice, and they organize a protest. Britta feels guilty about never doing anything for her causes, so she joins the protest. Jeff blows up at Pierce for wasting so much time and storms out and joins the protest. Pierce gets drunk and confronts Jeff then catches on fire, which makes the newspaper. The next day in class, Jeff finds out that Pierce had paid Britta to trade cards so he could get closer to Jeff. Chang exonerates Jeff from the assignment because of Pierce’s erratic behavior, but Jeff decides to co-present the material, which is an outrageous costume piece for which they both receive F’s. 1/30/14
• 003. Introduction to Film – 10/1/2009
  • Jeff discovers an accounting class with a professor whose only criteria is that the students ‘seize the day’ ala Dead Poets Society. He considers it an easy A and convinces some of his study group to take it as well. The teacher Eustice Whitman (John Michael Higgins) tells Jeff that he will fail him if he doesn’t truly seize the day, so Jeff is challenged to convince him by displaying erratic behavior such as wearing rainbow suspenders and flying a kite. Meanwhile, Abed confesses his desire to take a film class but is unable to because his father Gobi (Iqbal Theba) wants him to concentrate on classes that will help him run the family falafel business. Britta lends him the money, but is disappointed when he spends it on a camera but doesn’t actually attend the class. Gobi confronts Britta and Jeff and tells them that they can raise Abed, who continues filming them and tells them that they are playing his mother and father in his film. He ends presenting a short film in which he has superimposed his parents’ head over them,  which illustrates how alienated and worthless he felt a child. This touches Gobi who agrees to let him take the film classes that he wants. In appreciation, Britta kisses Jeff in front of Whitman, and he is awarded his grade for seizing the day. 1/31/14
• 004. Social Psychology – 10/8/14
  • Britta begins dating a hippie named Vaughn (Eric Christian Olsen), and although Jeff tries his hardest to be mature about it, he ends up bonding with Shirley because they both enjoy making fun of him. Ultimately, Jeff takes a photo of a poem that Vaughn writes for Britta and they share it with the group. When Britta and Vaughn catch them in the act, Shirley blames Jeff. Meanwhile Annie is taking a psychology class with Professor Duncan and they engage in a social experiment that entails gathering  subjects, which include Abed and Troy, in a room to engage in a ‘test’, but the real test is to see how long they’ll wait before their breaking point. Everyone in the room snaps except for Abed, who patiently waits for more than 26 hours, at which point Duncan himself snaps. Pierce has bought some ‘ear-noculars,’ which he uses to eavesdrop. Erik Charles Nielsen makes his first appearance as Garrett Lambert. 1/31/14
• 005. Advanced Criminal Law – 10/15/2009
  • Senor Chang finds a cheat sheet on the floor after a Spanish exam and threatens to give the entire class zeros if the perpetrator does not come forward. Britta confesses to the crime and faces a disciplinary hearing in front of Dean Pelton, Senor Chang, and Professor Duncan. Jeff defends her and nearly has her off the hook when Britta confesses and admits that she wants to get caught. Jeff changes his defense to insanity, and she is let off with having to meet for private counseling sessions with Duncan. Annie gets help from Pierce in writing a school song to be unveiled at the same time as a statue for Greendale alum actor Luis Guzman will be unveiled. Abed goes to great lengths to understand the concept of ‘messing with’ a friend, by pretending to Troy that he is an alien. Richard Erdman makes his first appearance as Leonard. 2/4/14
• 006. Football, Feminism, and You – 10/22/2009
  • Dean Pelton wants to get Troy on the school football team The Human Beings, but Troy isn’t interested. The Dean is using Jeff’s picture on the promotional material for the college against Jeff’s wishes, and he blackmails him into convincing Troy to play or the material will be sent to local law firms, thus ruining Jeff’s chances of continuing his practice. Annie is not for this, and the root reason is that she is attracted to Troy and is afraid that being a football player will make him too popular again. Troy ends up joining the team even after Jeff has second thoughts and tries to dissuade him, thinking that on the team he can just be himself and have fun. Shirley introduces Britta to the notion of women going to the bathroom together so that they can share secrets. Pierce and the Dean work on a mascot for the school, making sure that it is not ethnically oriented in any way. 2/5/14
• 007. Introduction to Statistics – 10/29/2009
  • Annie hosts a Dia de los Muertos party for extra credit in Spanish class, insisting that Jeff come. He reluctantly agrees but leaves early to crash the faculty party and hit on Professor Michelle Slater (Lauren Stamile). When Britta realizes how much that Jeff’s depature has upset Annie, she follows him to bring him back. At Annie’s party, Shirley becomes aggressive toward Professor Slater because she thinks that Britta is jealous. She attempts to vandalize Slater’s car and office, finally confessing that her aggression is actually more toward her husband who has left her. Pierce trades drugs with Star-Burns, which causes Pierce to hallucinate and Star-Burns to become boring. Using Professor Chang’s straightforward advice, Jeff is successful in convincing Professor Slater to sleep with him, but veers off to help Pierce come down from his high as they head out of the party. The fortress that Pierce created starts to fall on them both, but Abed, in his Batman costume, saves the day. 2/18/14
• 008. Home Economics – 11/5/2009
  • Britta and Shirley discover that Jeff is living in his car after getting kicked out of his condo over a fee dispute, so he temporarily moves into Abed’s dorm room – but he soon finds that he has become too satisfied with watching TV and being lazy. Abed recognizes that this isn’t good for Jeff, and asks Britta to convince him to move out. Britta steals the faucet from Jeff’s old condo and gives it to him, inspiring him to move out and look for another apartment. Meanwhile, Vaughn insults Britta and is confronted by Pierce, who ends up joining Vaughn’s band and co-writing a negative song called Getting Rid of Britta. Britta confronts Vaughn and is seemingly defended by Pierce, but actually they are arguing over song credit. As a result, Pierce quits the band. In response Vaughn writes a scathing song about Pierce called Pierce, You’re a B. Elsewhere Annie is giving Troy dating advice, even though she secretly has a crush on him. In order to stop him from going on his date, she feigns appendicitis, and Troy takes her the doctor where she is tended to by Male Nurse Jackie (Patton Oswalt). Troy still goes on his date, but Annie angrily approaches the pair and takes back the picnic blanket that she lent Troy. Dominik Musiol makes his first appearance as Pavel. 2/19/14
• 009. Debate 109 – 11/12/2009
  • Annie and Dean Pelton beg Jeff to stand in as a replacement on the debating team where they will take on City College on the topic “is man good or evil?” Jeff agrees in exchange for a parking space, and immediately gets into feud with their wheelchair-bound leader Jeremy Simmons (Aaron Himelstein). Britta is irritable from quitting smoking and humors Pierce and lets him hypnotize her. Pierce breaks his leg during the session and when he later finds out that she is faking being under, he mentions having a threesome with her, which ends up helping her quit because that is all she can think of when she lights up. The gang thinks Abed is a clairvoyant when the video dramas of the study group seem to be events that are coming true, which is even more disturbing when the actors playing Jeff and Annie kiss…and Shirley gets chased by a vampire. During the final debate, Jeremy proves that man is actually good, because Jeff catches him when he flings himself out of his wheelchair. Annie kisses Jeff and proves that man is evil, because he gets horny and drops Jeremy. Greendale wins the debate. 3/4/14
• 010. Environmental Science – 11/19/2009
  • Dean Pelton kicks off ‘Green Week’ by contracting a band called ‘Greene Daeye’ to play at the school. This turns out to not be the popular rock band, but an Irish band of older men. Senor Chang blows his top in Spanish class and assigns everyone to write a 20-page paper. Jeff is sent by the group to talk him out of it, and he figures out that Chang’s wife has left him, which is causing Chang’s poor mood. Jeff and Chang become drinking buddies, and Chang excuses Jeff from the paper, but does not excuse the others. Abed and Troy lose their lab rat Fievel and despite Troy’s intense fear of rodents, he helps Abed locate him by joining Abed in a duet of Somewhere Out There – a song that they had earlier sang to the rat. Pierce coaches Shirley on making a speech about brownies to her Marketing class, and his advice to imagine that the audience is eating a sandwich helps her overcome her anxiety. Jeff arranges for Chang’s wife to be at the Greene Daeye dance, and when the two reconcile, Chang calls off the assignment for everyone. 3/4/14
• 011. The Politics of Human Sexuality – 12/3/2009
  • Annie is working closely with Dean Pelton on the Greendale STD fair, but has anxiety about performing a condom application demonstration, because she has never seen a penis. She, Britt, and Shirley end up breaking into the Dean’s office to practice on the dummy that she will be using, but get caught by security and must having a meeting with the counselor. Pierce has a date named Doreen (Sharon Lawrence) for the fair, and encourages Jeff to bring one as well, teasing him that he can’t get one. Jeff in fact does have a hard time finding a date, and Britta suggests it is because he doesn’t actually know the names of any of the girls he has met, instead using descriptive terms to describe them in his phone. Pierce’s date turns out to be an escort. Jeff sets his sights on the Dean’s assistant Sabrina (Sara Erikson), but when Doreen tells him he could do better, Jeff agrees and ends their date. Troy feels threatened by Abed’s athletic ability when Abed beats him at basketball, carnival games, and arm wrestling. Abed lets Troy win a foot race, but when the Dean looks for someone to race across campus to make the announcement that the condoms they are handing out are faulty, Troy acknowledges the Abed is the best athlete. Abed makes the announcement not to use condoms. Jeff changes a name in his phone contacts from ‘hot girl in Spanish class’ to ‘Britta.’ Craig Cackowski plays Officer Cackowski. 3/16/14
• 012. Comparative Religion – 12/10/2009
  • Shirley plans a Christmas party for the gang, but is somewhat distraught by the fact that everyone is from different religions: Troy is Jehovah’s Witness, Abed is Muslim, Annie is Jewish, Britta is an atheist  Jeff is agnostic, and Pierce is in a cult that he thinks is Buddhist. Nevertheless, Shirley encourages to follow the mantra “What Would Baby Jesus Do?” Jeff sticks up for Abed in the cafeteria when a bully named Mike (Anthony Michael Hall) picks on him. Mike later confronts Jeff in Spanish class, and the two plan a fight, of which Shirley does not approve. Pierce feels that Jeff is not a man yet because he has never been punched in the face. Jeff tries to follow Shirley’s mantra, but when Mike punches him, Shirley tells him to kick his ass. This starts a melee between Mike and Jeff’s posse. Jeff’s group wins, and Pierce punches Jeff in the face to do him a favor of making him a man. They all celebrate after the fight at Shirley’s party, where she mangles the words to O Christmas Tree. 3/16/14
• 013. Investigative Journalism – 1/14/2010
  • The study group returns to school after Winter break and Jeff has a new invigorated attitude, which Abed compares to Hawkeye on M*A*S*H. On that note, Abed begins to build a homemade martini still. The group becomes annoyed when their classmate Buddy (Jack Black) – whom only Abed recognizes –  tries to integrate himself into the group. Most of the members are open to new blood, but Jeff eventually scares them into kicking Buddy out, although no one remembers to tell him. When he shows up and accidentally kicks Jeff in the nose, Jeff physically throws him out. He eventually has a change of heart and lets Buddy in, only to find that Buddy was just using them as a back-up in hopes of joining another group with Star-Burns and two other ‘cool kids’ (Owen Wilson, Hiromi Oshima). Meanwhile Dean Pelton appoints Jeff as the editor of the Greendale Gazette Journal Mirror. He makes Annie his crack investigator, and she uncovers what she perceives as racism from Dean Pelton when she finds that he only texted black students when a Toni Braxton concert was postponed. Jeff orders her to not publish her findings. Whe she thanks him, this helps inspire him to allow Buddy into the group. 3/29/14
• 014. Interpretive Dance – 1/21/2010
  • Troy and Britta are each secretly taking dance classes, Modern and Tap respectively. Troy is ashamed of it and drops out, but Britta excitedly invites the study group to their joint recital. Meanwhile, Jeff has secretly been dating Professor Michelle Strater. He lets the group in on their secret, but Pierce immediatley Tweets the information, causing Dean Pelton to call them to the office to fill out a fraternization questionnaire. Jeff is reluctant to refer to Michelle as his girlfriend, which causes her to storm out. Eventually he apologizes and they resume their relationship. At the recital, Britta freezes on stage when she spots Jeff and Michelle holding hands. Troy comes to the rescue and steals the show, diverting the attention from Britta, for which she is grateful. Jeff gives Britta flowers after the performance, and she congratulates him on his new relationship. Twink Caplan is Madame LeClair. 3/29/14
• 015. Romantic Expressionism – 2/4/2010
  • Annie asks for Britta’s permission to date her ex-boyfriend Vaughn. Britta claims to be over him and okays this, but Jeff’s disdain for Vaughn helps convince Britta that the two of them should intercede. They try to drive Annie back to her crush Troy, but she thinks that Troy is more interested in Abed than her. When they turn to Troy, they are able to convince him how hot Annie is, and he becomes over-zealous in pursing her, causing Vaughn to break it off with her. Annie chastises Jeff and Britta when she finds out that they were responsible, and Britta admits that she is jealous that Annie is dating her ex. Jeff points out the fact that unlike real families, there are numerous possibilities in the group. When Vaughn returns to serenade Annie, he wins the group over and Jeff an Britta give Annie their blessing for them to date. Meanwhile, Pierce attends movie night with Troy, Abed, Shirley, and Senor Chang where they watch Kickpuncher and make fun of it. When Pierce’s jokes fall flat, he gets a comedy sketch troupe to help him write jokes for the sequel, but has to admit what he’s done when his jokes sound too prepared. Derek Mears stars in the pseudo-film as the ‘kickpuncher’. 3/30/14
• 016. Communication Studies – 2/11/2010
  • After confirming that Michelle will be his date for the Greendale Valentine’s Day dance, he checks his messages and finds a drunk-dial from Britta. When he plays this for her, she is embarrassed and their friendship becomes awkward. Abed suggests that Jeff reciprocate with a drunk message, so the two of them get completely blotto. At the Valentine Dance, Michelle is angry that Jeff called her while drunk and lets her go when he realizes he didn’t dial Britta. Britta shows up claiming to be Jeff’s date after their phone call, but is only messing with him. Britta helps heal Jeff and Michelle’s rocky relationship by playing the message where he states how pefect Michelle is, but privately reveals that Jeff’s full message was over 40 minutes long. Meanwhile, Senor Chang publicly humiliates Troy and Pierce for sending themselves fake Valentines. Annie and Shirley try to get even with Chang by sending him a fake offer from Princeton. Chang knows it’s a fake, but blames Troy and Pierce and forces them to be his ‘dates’ at the Valentines dance, where they are forced to wear ladies’ pants suits. 3/30/14
• 017. Physical Education – 3/4/2010
  • Jeff is looking forward to his new billiards class until Coach Bogner (Blake Clark) insists that the class must wear shorts to participate. Jeff wants to wear a leather jacket and ends up getting kicked out of class. When he challenges the coach to a game, Bogner refuses to play unless he wears the shorts. During the game Jeff decides that he loves the game more than his clothes, so they end up playing naked, with Jeff taking the victory. Abed searches for a girl named Jenny Adams (Carrie Wiita) who seemingly drew a loving portrait of her in her Spanish book. The group convinces Abed to approach her, not as himself but as a various TV characters. It goes well until her boyfriend shows up, who is a white version of himself (also played by Danny Pudi). Abed confesses that he only approached the girl for the group, and that he prefers that women approach him. 4/21/14
• 018. Basic Genealogy – 3/11/2010
  • During Family Day at Greendale, one of Pierce’s former step-daughters Amber (Katharine McPhee) visits. Jeff is attracted to her, but Pierce insists that Jeff leave her alone. Jeff finds out that she is only using Pierce to get money, and although he still sleeps with her, he decides to tell Pierce that she is using him. Meanwhile, Britta insists on being subservient to Troy’s Nana (Fran Bennett), even searching for switch that Nana can use to spank her. Shirley’s two sons Elijah (Kwesi Boakye) and Jordan (Tyrel Jackson Williams) cause havoc for Aded’s father Gobi (Iqbal Theba) so that his sister Abra (Emily Ghamrawi) can play in the bounce house. 4/21/14
• 019. Beginner Pottery – 3/18/2010
  • The study group splits up for their ‘blow-off class’ with Jeff, Abed, and Annie taking a pottery class, taught by a professor (Tony Hale) who hates any reference to the movie Ghost, and Shirley, Troy, Pierce, and Britta sign up for a sailing class on a real boat in the school parking lot taught by Admiral Slaughter (Lee Majors). Jeff becomes jealous of a doctor named Rich (Greg Cromer) in class who makes outstanding pottery and works to expose him as a charlatan. Slaughter makes Shirley the captain of the ship, but when they knock Pierce out of the boat, she makes a bad decision and abandons him. However when Pierce crashes his rowboat-on-wheels into a fountain, Shirley orders the crew to save him, gaining them all an A. Jeff realizes that he is content with making crummy pots, because his mother always told him he was normal. It is revealed that Rich’s Mom had belittled him all his life.  4/22/14
• 020. The Science of Illusion – 3/25/2010
  • On the eve of April Fools Day, Pierce announces that he is going to ascend to the next level in his Buddhist religion. Jeff plays a joke on him by telling him that members of his church brought a ceremonial robe for him to wear. A wand is added to the contest that makes him look like the mascot for Cookie Crisp. Britta doesn’t think the joke is funny and is called a buzzkill. To prove that she has a sense of humor, she decides to place a frog wearing a sombrero on Senor Chang’s desk. In attempting to capture a frog, she accidentally knocks a cadaver out the window. Shirley and Annie are made honorary campus security, arguing over who is the ‘good cop’ and who is the ‘bad cop.’ When they get rough with Jeff, Annie ultimately confesses and the group shares a massive group-cry and hug. 4/23/14
• 021. Contemporary American Poultry – 4/22/2010
  • Jeff and the group realize that there is a high demand for the chicken fingers being served in the cafeteria and they are often left without. Jeff concocts a scheme to get Star-Burns fired as the cook, and getting Abed hired in his place. This works well at first, but soon it seems that the power goes to his head and Jeff loses his authority over the group, who buy into the favors that Abed is granting them. Jeff becomes irritated that Abed has set himself as a mafia leader of sorts,  and taking a tip from Star-Burns, attempts to sabotage the fryer. However, he finds Abed in the kitchen experimenting with new recipes that will bring him closer to the people. The two make amends and the group returns to normal. Abed is fired over a missing box of hair nets and Garrett and Leonard end up taking over the chicken finger syndicate. Crystal the Monkey plays Annie’s Boobs, the monkey that Troy receives for being the ‘bagman.’ 4/28/14
• 022. The Art of Discourse – 4/29/2010
  • Jeff and Britta are insulted by high-schoolers Mark (Jared Kusnitz) and Scott (Dean Collins), which really rattles them. Jeff’s solution is to try and sleep with Mark’s mother (Lisa Rinna), but when she finds out his ruse, she belittles them as well. Meanwhile Abed is trying to fulfill his “quintessential college list” by pantsing Troy. This inspires Pierce to pants Shirley, and she demands that Pierce get kicked out of the group. When the group realizes that withouth Pierce, they have no scapegoat, they try to convince Shirley to allow him back in, which causes her to quit as well. Pierce and Shirley realize that they are the least respected in the group, and show up to pants Mark and Scott – sealing their defeat – when they are in the middle of a DUH-off with Jeff and Britta, who were just about to give up. A food fight instigated by the high-schooler helps fulfill Abed’s list. 4/28/14
• 023. Modern Warfare – 5/6/2010
  • Jeff, tired of hearing the suggestion to give into the sexual temptation between him and Britta, goes to take a nap in his car. When he awakes, he finds the campus trashed and seemingly deserted from a paintball competition. He encounters Garrett and find out that the Dean had announced that the winner would get priorty registration for the next semester. Garrett is taken out by Leonard, but Jeff is saved from him by Abed. Jeff joins the alliance with Abed and Troy, and soon Pierce betrays Star-Burns and joins as well. They locate the girls from the group in the men’s restroom and they join the alliance as well. Annie and Pierce are quickly elimated by the Glee Club, and the rest set up camp and discuss what they will do with the prize if they win. Britta suggest that they make a pact to hand it over to Shirley, but Jeff objects. Roller skaters then take out Shirley and Abed. Jeff gets a real injury and while Britta is tending to it, they end up kissing and sleeping together. Senor Chang registers for a class so that he can join the competition in order to put an end to it, and detonates a pain bomb that is strapped to him. Jeff narrowly escapes and then demands his prize from Dean Pelton, shooting him in the process. Jeff hands the prize over to Shirley, while Abed is trying to figure out what significant event has occurred between Jeff and Britta.  6/3/14
• 024. English as a Second Language – 5/13/2010
  • Spanish 2 is coming to an end and desperate for the group to continue, Annie suggests that everyone sign up for Spanish 3, but Jeff has no intention of taking a class outside of his required curriculum. Later Senor Chang confesses to Jeff that he had conned his way into his teaching job without having a degree, having failed in his career as a key-tarist, and that if he cannot come up with a fake degree, he will lose his job and their classes will be regarded as invalid. Annie’s recorder has been running and she uses this information to get Chang fired. The class meets their new teach Dr. Escodera (Marlene Forte), and the class has absolutely no understanding of her Spanish speaking, and are now petrified of failing the final exam. Chang destroys Jeff’s car with his key-tar  thinking that it was Jeff who told on him. Annie confesses that she had told on Chang, and Jeff insists that the group show her no sympathy…but the group rises to rescue her from Chang’s wrath she confesses her deed to him. It turns out that they are only playing with his key-tar  and that she had helped him enroll in classes to work toward a valid degree. The group passes the exam, which was extra easy – thanks to Pierce sleeping with Escodera. Jeff suggests that they all take Anthropology together the next year. Meanwhile a janitor named Jerry (Jerry Minor) has spotted Troy’s penchant for plumbing and tries to convince him to follow his talents. 6/3/14
• 025. Pascal’s Triangle Revisited – 5/20/2010
  • Dean Pelton announces the Transfer Dance, which celebrates thos moving onto other colleges, and also that there will be a ‘Tranny Queen’ nominated – one of whom turns out to be Britta.  Her psychologist Professor Duncan encourages her to run for it, just before dismissing and mocking Senor Chang when he comes to him to ask that he help him cheat. Professor Slater indicates to Jeff that she wants to get back together, which prompts Britta to compete for his affections. Annie meanwhile announces that she is leaving for Delaware with Vaughn, who will be joining a national Hacky Sack team. Troy is kicked out of his father’s house and is looking for a new roomate. He is hurt that Abed does not ask him, but then realizes that, like a giant cookie, too much of a good thing can be bad. Troy ends up accepting Pierce’s offer. At the dance, Britta announces publicly that she loves Jeff, and then Slater does the same. Jeff silently leaves the dance without responding, as Duncan gets drunk, raps, gets suspended, and then assualted by Chang. Outside Jeff runs into Annie who has decided not to go to Delaware, and the two of them share a passionate kiss.  6/6/14

SEASON 2

• 026. Anthropology 101 – 9/23/2010
  • The new Fall semester begins at Greendale and Britta is apprehensive when she thinks that other students are staring at her following the events of the previous Spring. Soon she realizes that she has been made a hero for professing her feelings and Jeff has been made into the villian. Annie and Jeff have agreed that the kiss that happened between them was a mistake but it is clear that Annie still has feelings for Jeff. In order to counter the negative image he is getting, Jeff publicly professes his love for Britta (to which she reciprocates) in the new Anthropology 101 class taught by Professor June Bauer (Betty White). Jeff and Britta continue their charade by constantly awkwardly kissing, much to the delight of Shirley and disgust of Annie. Abed cannot stand the romantic plot, preferring more dramatic stories, so he rushes things along by providing an engagement ring and a priest. Annie punches Jeff in the face and announces their kiss, which causes a fight between all parties. In addition, Pierce is angry at Troy for continually quoting him on Twitter under the name “Old White Man Says.” The next day Jeff makes a speech about respect in Professor Bauer’s class, prompting her to attack him with a weapon, which gets her suspended. The group reconciles, and Senor Chang formally asks if he can be made a member. They put the question on hold, which prompts Chang to have a psychotic conversation with himself trying to decide if he wants to join them…or destroy them. 6/7/14
• 027. Accounting for Lawyers – 9/30/2010
  • Jeff runs into a lawyer named Alan Connor (Rob Corddry) with who he used to work, who is visiting Greendale to attend Narcotics Anonymous. Alan tells Jeff that he is missed at his old firm and that he should attend an office party. This puts Jeff out of commision to participate in the Pop-and-Lock-a-Thon at Greendale, so Chang auditions to be part of the study group’s dancing team. Alan invites the group to attend the party so that he can flirt with Annie, while Chang shows up alone at the dance contest and keeps it going until he is completely worn out. Annie remembers that Alan had attended N.A. with her and had bragged about getting Jeff fired. Annie, Troy, and Abed attempt to find the evidence proving Alan’s guilt and end up chloraforming the janitor (Steven W. Bailey). Jeff convinces their boss Ted (Drew Carey) that even though Alan isn’t likeable, he is a great lawyer, and thus he is given the promotion. The fact that he turned Jeff in for not having his license makes no difference to Jeff. They all return to the Pop-and-Lock-a-Thon and relieve Chang, but when they end up in a group hug, they are disqualified, leaving Chang to laugh maniacally. 6/8/14
• 028. The Psychology of Letting Go – 10/7/2010
  • Troy reports to the group that he found Pierce’s dead mother (voice of Pat Crawford Brown) that morning, but when Pierce shows up for study group, he doesn’t seem at all affected because his Buddhist beliefs dictate that she is just passing to the next phase of life. Jeff convinces the group to allow Pierce to grieve as his religion dictates, but after Jeff finds out that he has high cholesterol, he becomes turned off to religion and hellbent on convincing Pierce that his mother’s aura is not in the “energy pod” lava lamp that he is carrying around. When Pierce discovers a CD that his Mom made for him, the gang plays it and hears her trying to convince Pierce that she is really dead…but he still thinks her mind has just been affected. Jeff gives up at this point. Meanwhile, Britta and Annie argue over the techniques that Annie is using to raise money for an oil spill and the two end up oil wrestling. Duncan takes over the Anthropology class and makes it miserable for Chang, against whom he has a restraining order. When Chang gets injured by Duncan forcing him to run away, Chang gets a counter-restraining order, and two profess a mutual respect for each other. In the background of the episode, Abed is confronted by a pregnant girl, accosted by her boyfriend, and ends up delivering the baby. 6/8/14
• 029. Basic Rocket Science – 10/14/2010
  • Dean Pelton is eager to get ahead of City College in the race to have their own space simulator, so he purchases an old model known as the Kentucky Fried Chicken Seven Herbs and Space Experience, a museum relic from the 80’s that had once been used as an attraction to promote the restaurant. As punishment for submitting a school flag with a subliminal anus – E Pluribus Anus – that he actually chose to use, the Dean has the study group clean the vehicle. Everyone but Abed gets accidentally locked inside – just before it is towed away. The Dean contacts them over headsets in the car and demands that they return with the vehicle, but they are unable to open the doors or windows. From ‘mission control’, Abed helps guide Troy through the simulation which unseals the windows. Jeff determines that they’ve been towed out of town…while Pierce suffers ‘space madness.’ Annie confesses that she reported that the van was parked in a handicap spot, resulting in the towing, in exchange for Dean Spreck (Jordan Black) helping her transfer to City College. The group forgives her, but is incensed that Spreck has invaded their turf. Annie drives the van back to Greendale just in time for a press conference announcing the school’s role in the space program. Richard McGonagle is the voice of S.A.N.D.E.R.S. 6/11/14
• 030. Messianic Myths and Ancient Peoples – 10/21/10
  • Disturbed by the YouTube video memes that Duncan is showing in class that have a high viewership while her church has a very low attendance rate, Shirley decides to make a religious video and enlists Abed’s help. He declines at first, but then after studying the New Testament, he decides to make the film. He quickly evolves into the mysterious campus Messiah, much to Shirley’s chagrin. Eventually he realizes that his film is a piece of crap and prays out loud for God to help him. Shirley overhears this and smashes his equipment and destroys his film. In class Duncan plays a video that Abed recommended, the film Shriley originally wanted. Meanwhile Pierce, tired of being treated like a child by the group, joins a group of hipsters (those whose hips have been replaced) led by Leonard. He enjoys the rebellion but is distrubed by everyone’s willingness to let Richard (Alfred Dennis) take the rap when they go for a joy ride in the Dean’s car. Jeff is irritated that he is listed at Pierce’s contact when he is called to bail him out of jail, but then want to make sure Pierce is taken care of, unlike Leonard who has no one to pick him up. Lee Weaver is Joe, Edith Jefferson is Pearl.  6/13/14
• 031. Epidemiology – 10/28/2010
  • During a school Halloween party in the library, Pierce becomes violently ill and starts displaying Zombie-like behavior, biting Star-Burns. More students fall ill from illness and being bitten by others.  The party food has come from an army surplus store, and Dean Pelton notifies the authorities. Troy becomes aware of his nerdiness when he is rejected by some girls, and removes the costume that he had paired up with Abed to create. With army due to arrive in six hours, several students quarantine themselves in the library. Annie suggests lowering the temperature in the building to save everyone’s lives, but Troy wants to remain mature and refuses when Abed volunteers them. As everyone becomes infected, Troy has a change of heart, making his way to turn down thermostat, just before he is bitten by zombie Abed. As the temperature cools, everyone regains their senses as the army arrives and gasses them, causing them to lose their recollection of the events of the night. Amidst the chaos, Chang and Shirley have slept together, and Chang reveals this to no one but Troy. 7/12/14
• 032. Aerodynamics of Gender – 11/4/2010
  • Jeff gets angry after a basketball loss to Troy and kicks the ball into a ‘secret garden’ with a trampoline, introduced to them by groundskeeper Joshua (Matt Walsh) as a place of solace. Jeff and Troy reach new heighths of peacefulness. Pierce uses a remote-controlled helicoper – with a Tiny Man pilot (Andy Dick) that he hallucinates – to locate the trampoline, forcing Troy to bounce him or else he will reveal it to everyone. Pierce is bounced into a dumpster and breaks both of his legs, causing Joshua, who turns out to be racist, to be fired and the trampoline to be confiscated. Meanwhile, Abed joins a Women’s Study group with Britta, Shirley, and Annie, and ends up helping them with brazen insults to a trio of mean girls led by Meghan (Hillary Duff). They utilize Abed until they themselves become ‘bitches’ and Abed mechanically begins to insult them as well. Abed supplies the mean girls with insults that they can deliver to him to restore the order, causing the study group girls to return to their niceness. 7/12/14
• 033. Cooperative Calligraphy – 11/11/2010
  • The group is ready to leave their study room for Dean Pelton’s puppy parade, when Annie suddenly realizes that her pen is missing, something that has been happening quite a bit lately. She demands its return, causing in-fighting among the group, who alternately accuses one another of stealing it for various reasons. Abed is accused of wanting to have a ‘bottle episode,’ Pierce of using it to scratch his broken legs, and when Jeff is accused, he demands a lockdown. The group is all strip-searched and the pen still isn’t located. As they search, it discovered that Shirley is taking a pregnancy test (from her night with Chang) and that Abed has been recording the ladies’ cycles. They never locate the pen and instead of never trusting one another again, they agree to blame it on ghosts. They join the puppy parade, and then it is revealed that the monkey Annie’s Boobs, has been stealing stuff from the room and hiding it in an air vent. 7/13/14
• 034. Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design – 11/18/2010
  • Dean Pelton finds that Jeff has claimed to be taking an independent study class on Conspiracy Theory with Professor Professorson (Kevin Corrigan). Pelton doesn’t believe this so Jeff takes him to a closet and insists that the teach was once there. Professorson then makes an appearance, and Jeff regains the Dean’s trust. However, Jeff then confesses to Annie that he had no idea who that man was and they decide to investigate. The man turns out to be Professor Woolley, a night school professor, who was actually a former student trying to cover fake independent studies that he created. It then turns out that Woolley was actually Sean Garrity, the drama teacher that Pelton hired to teach them all a lesson. A game of conspiracy theories ensues with Annie shooting Garrity and the Dean shooting Annie to fool Jeff, Jeff shooting the Dean to fool Annie, Annie shooting Jeff to fool the Dean, and finally Officer Cackowski shooting Garrity – all to teach the others that it is wrong to play with guns, even fake ones. Meanwhile Troy and Abed create a massive blanket fort that spreads across the whole campus. They pull the plug however when they feel it has become too mainstream. 7/13/14
• 035. Mixology Certification – 12/2/2010
  • It’s Troy’s birthday, and after being tipped off by Britta, he realizes he is turning 21 rather than 20. The gang decides to celebrate by going out for drinks. Britta and Jeff argue whether they should go to The Red Door or L Street, so they ultimately wind up at The Ballroom. Shirley is apprehensive about going there, the reason later revealed that they have scads of photos of her in a drunken state. Annie has to use a fake ID with the name Caroline Decker, which allows her to adopt a new wild personality as a Texas girl. Abed gets hit on by a gay man named Robert (Paul F. Tompkins), who hopes to mirror Abed’s nerdiness to attract him. Pierce is stuck in the bar’s entrance when his wheelchair’s batteries die. Troy ends up driving everyone home, but gets angered when he finds out that the bars that Britta and Jeff were arguing about is in fact the exact same bar, realizing that the people he emulates are just as clueless as him. Britta and Jeff end up making out in the back seat, while Abed sits by silently. Tig Nataro is the bouncer, Joe Nunez is the bouncer.  8/1/14
• 036. Abed’s Uncontrollable Christmas – 12/9/2010
  • Abed confesses that he enjoys Christmas despite being a Muslim, and also thinks that this year’s must be special since everyone appears to be stop-motion animated (as seen by the audience). After he sings a musical number and destroys cars in the parking lot, he is taken to Professor Duncan’s office for psychological evaluation. Abed rejects hypnotherapy and instead sets out on a quest to find the true meaning of Christmas – which leads him and the gang (who is now humoring him for sake of curing him) on a magical journey. Each of the group turns into a toy: Jeff-in-the-Box, Britta Bot, Ballerannie, Baby Doll Shirley, Troy Soldier, and Teddy Pierce and are guided by the Christmas Wizard (in actuality Professor Duncan). They travel through the Cave of Frozen Memories and Carol Canyon, the Pine Tree Station, and the North Pole, encountering Humbugs and a Christmas Pterodactyl along the way. Several members of the group, the naysayers, are one-by-one dropped from the journey. Eventually the Wizard aka Duncan discovers that the reason behind Abed’s delusions are that his mother, with whom he had always watched Rudoph the Red Nosed Reindeer during the holiday, would not be able to see him this year. Abed literally freezes, and it is only when the group attacks Duncan with Magic Christmas Weapons that he begins to thaw. He realizes that Christmas can mean different things to everyone. In the past, it had meant Christmas with his mother, but this year it will mean being with the study group. 8/2/14
• 037. Asian Population Studies – 1/20/2011
  • Following winter break, the group returns to the school and Annie announces that she met a new crush and Shirley announces that she is getting back with her fiance Andre (Malcolm-Jamal Warner) because she is pregnant. Troy lets it slip to Pierce that Shirley slept with Chang at Halloween when they were zombies. Annie’s crush turns out to be Rich, and Jeff is aghast that Annie could be dating his rival. The group wants to add Rich to the study group, but Jeff opposes his inclusion with his own nomination, the attractive Quendra (Marcy McCusker), and then Ben Chang, with the claim that they devil they know is better than the devil they don’t. Rich wins them over with his kettle corn, and when the deciding vote comes down to Shirley, Pierce reveals that she and Chang had slept together. Andre overhears this, but only blames himself for breaking up his family and promises to raise the baby no matter whose it is. Rich rejects Annie, and this causes Jeff to make a brisk run to ask Rich to forgive him and help him be just as good so that he can abuse that power. Charley Koontz make his first appearance as Fat Neil. 8/2/14
• 038. Celebrity Pharmacology 212 – 1/27/2011
  • Annie is directing a play to put on for the middle schoolers about the dangers of drugs. Pierce has a non-speaking role as “drugs” but wants a bigger part. He follows Annie to her apartment, which is located above a sex shop, and gives her some money to assist her with her rent. Soon he is hinting that she owes him a larger part, so she lets him steal the show. Soon the middle schoolers are captivated by “drugs” instead of being turned off by them. Annie realizes that Pierce has taken advantage of her, and Chang is sent out as damage control, making the kids hate “drugs” and physically attacking him. Shirley is impressed by this, and finally lets Chang talk to her again. Meanwhile, Doug tries to aid Britta’s flirting-via-text skills and ends up sending a sexually charged test to Britta’s nephew Marcus (Justin Marco), who is coming for a visit. Marcus plans to woo his aunt, but Jeff intercepts him and is forced to bribe him into silence. 8/22/14
• 039. Advanced Dungeons & Dragons – 2/3/2011
  • Fat Neil is depressed and since Jeff gave him that nickname, he feels guilty and arranges for the group to play a game of Dungeons & Dragons with him, but excludes Pierce fearing that he is too insensitive to help. Abed acts as Dungeon Master and they begin their game of The Cavern of Draconis. Neils assumes his longtime character Duquesne, with a magic sword that he has had for quite a while. Just when he is enjoying the game, Pierce intrudes and begins hurling insults and demands to play, and then immediately has his character steal Neil’s sword. Abed considers him hostile and physically locates him away from the group, where he bribes Garrett to bring him D&D books to read. Using this information, he is able to control the dragon Draconis and freeze time. Unable to move, Neil and the others use their turn to pity Pierce’s character, which infuriates Pierce who then uses his turn to unfreeze time so he can attack them. Neil then uses his turn to throw the sword at Pierce’s magic amulet, and the dragon turns on Pierce and eats hm. Neil finds this to be the best game he’s ever played and asks Pierce to play again. 8/22/14
• 040. Early 21st Centuray Romaticism – 2/10/2011
  • Jeff storms off angry at the group after a disagreement over the Barenaked Ladies and ends up skipping the school Valentine dance in order to watch soccer with Duncan. Chang uses this as an excuse to show up at Jeff’s and then call others to join the ‘party’. It turns out that Chang has been kicked out of his house over his affair with Shirley and needs Jeff’s place to stay for a while. Meanwhile, Troy and Abed pursue the same woman, a librarian named Mariah (Mate Schwartz), agreeing that whomever she chooses, they will accept. When she chooses Troy, he feels so bad that he dumps her in order to console Abed. Britta begins hanging around a lesbian named Page (Brit Marling), who turns out to not be a lesbian, but just a girl who thinks Britta is a lesbian. Both of them are doing this because they think it is cool. Annie confronts Pierce on his addiction to pain meds, which is causing him to hallucinate Tiny Man again. Jeff ends up allowing Chang to stay with him, and texts the Study Group that he loves them. Luke Youngblood makes his first appearance as Magnitude. Cyrina Fiallo is Claire. 8/22/14
• 041. Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking – 2/17/2011
  • At Pierce’s request, Abed – assisted by Pavel and Garrett – films a documentary highlighting Pierce’s drug overdose, and the ‘bequeathing’ that he performs with members of the study group. Pierce admits on camera that he is faking dying and that the gift-giving only serves to get even with the group for ignoring him. He gives Shirley a CD that he claims includes a recording of the group talking about her behind her back, but when Britta forces her to listen to it, it only includes Pierce goading them to bash Shirley. Britta receives a blank check for $10,000 dollars to give to her favorite charity, causing her to question herself since she’s really like to keep it for herself. Instead of the signed photo of LeVar Burton that Troy wants, he arranges for the real LeVar Burton (as himself) visit with Troy, who can’t muster the courage to speak to him at all. Pierce tells Jeff that he arranged for Jeff’s estranged father to visit, which causes him undue amounts of stress. Jeff stresses that if Pierce is lying, he will beat him. Pierce tries to pose as Jeff’s father, and ends up getting beaten. Pierce gives Annie a tiara, and she desperately searches for the meaning behind it – which is simply that Annie is his favorite. Jill Benjamin is the nurse. 9/18/14
• 042. Intro to Political Science – 2/24/2011
  • Dean Pelton announces that Vice President Joe Biden will be visiting the campus to shake hands with the class president, but since Greendale doesn’t have one, a quick election needs to be held. Annie decides to run, but Jeff thinks politics are stupid and decides to see if he can beat her even without a platform. Troy and Abed provide color commentary for the debates, in which Annie’s major platform becomes eliminating the black mold on the school’s stairs. Pierce runs only so he can humiliate candidate Vicki (Danielle Kaplowitz); he does, so she stabs his neck with a pencil. Garrett accidentally gets brought into the running because he lines up near the ice cream machine where the candidates are, even though he only wanted ice cream. Star-Burns withdraws because he doesn’t want to tarnish his reputation as a drug dealer. Annie humiliates Jeff by showing a video audition of Jeff from the 1980’s when he tried to get on The Real World by singing a reworded version of Faith, and they both end up withdrawing from the race. The last men standing are Leonard and Magnitude, whose debate has degraded to Leonard’s raspberry and Magnitude’s “Pop! Pop!” When Dean Pelton reads the result, the winner is the TV show South Park. Meanwhile, Abed is harassed by Secret Service agents Glenn Keenlan (Marque Richardson) and Robin Vohlers (Eliza Coupe), only because Robin has a crush on him. Abed purposely mentions a nepalm bomb at the end of his election commentary, thus enticing her to return to spy on him…and cancel Biden’s visit with Greendale. 9/18/14
• 043. Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy – 3/17/2011
  • Still not knowing the true father of Shirley’s baby, the group throws her a baby shower. Chang is disappointed to find out that he will not be involved in the baby’s life whether it is his or not. In order to try and get him out of his apartment, Jeff convinces Chang that if he finds a job and gets his own place, Shirley would be more likely to let him be a father to the baby. Although still erratic, he begins dressing more conservatively and trying to be responsible, but when he picks up two boys from school whom he thinks are Shirley’s – although they are not – he winds up in jail. Andre convinces Jeff and Shirley not to try and set him up for child trafficking. Meanwhile, Britta gets a date with Troy and Abed’s friend Luka (Enver Gjokaj), although they had forbidden it because they didn’t want her to ruin it for them. However, when she finds out that he is a war criminal for acts of genocide in the Balkans, she tries to get them to de-friend Luka without telling them why. Eventually they find out and tell Britta that’s it’s okay to get them away from war criminals. 10/5/14
• 044. Critical Film Studies – 3/24/2011
  • Jeff attempts to throw Abed a birthday party with a Pulp Fiction theme, with the members of the study group dressed as characters from the film, and the gift being the ‘original’ briefcase used in film. However Abed calls Jeff to have a private fancy dinner with him, while the group waits in a the restaurant where Britta works. Abed acts more normal then ever and tells Jeff that he is through with his pop culture obsession because of an experience he had as an extra on the set of Cougar Town, during which he realized that the character he created for himself had a more exciting life than his own. Jeff than confesses a time when his mother made him dress as an Indian girl for Trick or Treat. When Pierce barges in at the restaurant dressed like “The Gimp,” Abed realizes what is going on and decides to join the party. However, due to a slip by the waiter, Jeff angrily realizes that the whole dinner was Abed trying to live out a role from My Dinner with Andre. The party does continue, although Jeff is not only irritated by the dinner sham, but by the fact that Chang and Troy have burnt the certificate of authenticity inside the briefcase. Abed’s consolation is that the prop is a fake anyway. Mike McCafferty is Brian; Jill Alexander is the hostess. 10/5/14
• 045. Competitive Wine Tasting – 4/14/2011
  • The group chooses their Spring electives. Jeff and Pierce – as well as Chang – end up in an Intro to Italian Wines class, where Jeff is rebuffed by an attractive student named Wu Mei (Michelle Krusiec). When she agrees to date Pierce, Jeff desperately tries to find out why. He ends up discovering that her company Red Dragon Towelettes was a rival of Pierce’s Hawthorne Towelettes. When Pierce berates Jeff for ruining his date, Jeff encourages them to go ahead and use one another…which they do. Troy and Britta take a class called The Actor Inside. They are asked by Professor Garrity to conjure a painful memory, Troy makes up a story about his uncle touching his butt. This creates sympathy from Britta, so Troy continues the lie until Britta passionately kisses him. Troy admits the lie, but still receives kudos from Garrity. Abed takes a course called Who Indeed: A Critical Study of Television’s “Who’s the Boss“. Abed argues that the character Angela was indeed the boss, but the Professor Peter Sheffield (Stephen Tobolowsky) tells Abed if he is so sure of himself then he can teach the class. Abed does indeed, and proves the boss as Angela, which leaves Sheffield pondering his life’s work. He then turns to another book for another potential class: What WAS Happening: An Analysis of “What’s Happening.” 10/24/14
• 046. Paradigms of Human Memory – 4/21/2011
  • While working on their final diorama for their Anthropology class, the group goes on a trip down memory lane that begins when Annie’s Boobs the monkey steals Troy’s paintbrush and head through the air vents. Chang follows him and brings back objects that sparks their not-so-pleasant memories. Jeff argues that there were many good times and asks Abed to interject items from his memories, but his robotic brain pieces together info that indicates that Jeff and Britta have secretly been having sex all year. This leads to arguments that Britta and Jeff were selfish, and the counter-argument that the other group members are equally selfish – all told through a variety of flashbacks. The group decides once again to break up, but another speech from Jeff saves the day. NOTE: This episode primarily features flashbacks, which would seemingly be from previous episodes. However, all footage is actually new. 10/24/14
• 047. Applied Anthropology and Culinary Arts – 4/28/2011
  • The Anthropology class has come to an end and a drunk Duncan has promised to give all students A’s. Dean Pelton comes into class with a report from Dean Magazine to do a feature story, and Duncan flees. Shirley goes into labor, but the World Food Festival outside has degraded into a race riot and the ambulances are unable to get to them. Britta, Annie, and Chang assist with getting Shirley to push, but paramedics and Andre finally arrive to finish the delivery. Shirley has a boy who clearly belongs to Andre and not Chang, but she names him Ben in appreciation for Chang’s help. Meanwhile Pierce pays Troy and Abed $1000 for their handshake because he hate it, and it loses its magic for them…until the baby is delivered and they are able to joyfully use it again. Dean Magazine folds after two issues. 11/22/14
• 048. A Fistful of Paintballs – 5/5/2011
  • In a spoof of spaghetti westerns, another paintball war is underway, and through flashback we learn that during the school’s western themed end-of-year picnic, Pistol Patty’s Cowboy Creamery has offered $100,000 to the last man standing. Jeff and Abed quickly join up with Annie and then they form an alliance with Britta, Shirley, and Troy. They narrowly escape a new player, known only as The Black Rider (Josh Holloway). They visit Pierce whom they’ve heard has a stockpile of paint pellets and has set up Fort Hawthorne in the cafeteria, where players can surrender their guns and get something to eat. Pierce wants them all to form an alliance and then split the prize money between them. He sends them to retrieve the paint from last year’s paintball fight, stored in Dean Pelton’s office. The Black Rider captures Annie and is preparing to shoot her with the gun that Pierce supplied to Jeff, but it turns out that they are blanks. Annie escapes and confronts Pierce, telling him that she had been the last holdout on the required-unanimous vote needed to throw him out of the group. She challenges him to a duel, when the Black Rider appears. He agrees to let the group settle their internal disputes before taking them all out. Pierce fakes a heart attack and then shoots the Black Rider, eliminating him. He makes a phone call to someone to tell him that he’s out of the game. Outside the Pistol Patty mascot unleashes a swat team of commandos with paint guns to attack with “Plan B.” NOTE: This is the first of a two-part episode. 11/22/14
• 049. For a Few Paintballs More – 5/12/2011
  • As the motif of the show switches from western to Star Wars, the Pistol Patty mascot reveals himself to be Dean Spreck from City College, who has organized the event so that Greendale would destroy itself, and has now unleashed a band of commando Storm Troopers to make sure that they win the contest and thus do not have to pay out the prize money. Troy proposes their alliance turns the prize money over to Greendale and everyone agrees, but Jeff scoffs at Troy’s leadership. Annie suggest they compromise in their leadership approach and Troy and his group can fill the sprinklers with paint, while Jeff and his group can attack the ice cream wagon and take control of the paint machine gun. Abed assumes the roll of Han Solo with Annie as Princess Leia. Dean Spreck sets up camp in Dean Pelton’s office and keeps Pierce as prisoner, who promises to tell everything he knows about Jeff in exchange for his life. Eventually Spreck orders that Pierce be shot, but Pierce has another heart attack. Meanwhile, the study groups plans are falling apart as nearly everyone is taken out, with Abed and Annie lost in their Star Wars rolls and a long kiss before the sprinklers take everyone in the library out. Shirley shows up in a golf cart, and she and Britta take everyone out before Britta is shot, claiming victory for Shirley…but then she is shot by two stray Storm Troopers. A third one walks up to congratulate them, then shoots them, revealing himself to be Pierce…who becomes the last man standing. He asks Spreck to make the check out to Greendale. Jeff invites Pierce back into the group, but Pierce says he is done with the group and walks out. Jerry the Janitor is left to clean up the mess. 11/22/14

SEASON 3

• 050. Biology 101 – 9/22/2001
  • The class returns to Greendale after their summer break, and the study group – except for Pierce – has enrolled in Biology, taught by Professor Marshall Kane (Michael Kenneth Williams). Pierce wants to return to the study group but there are no openings in the Biology class. When Jeff’s cell phone goes off on the first day of class, he is kicked out which leaves an opening for Pierce. Jeff goes to Kane and pleads for his spot back, but Kane says he’ll only let him in if he gives up his cell phone for the semester. Jeff finds a picture of Pierce with Kane in Kane’s office and is convinced that Pierce got him kicked out, but ‘Kane’ actually ends up being a rapper and Jeff is branded a racist by the group. Eventually Pierce admits that he paid off Kane to kick Jeff out of class…and the group almost bans Pierce again, but Jeff talks them out of it. Jeff knows that Kane would never take a bribe and finds out from Pierce that he only saved Jeff because he saw Jeff was having a worse time being the bad guy than he ever did. Jeff ends up getting Star-Burns’ spot in class when Star-Burns approaches Kane about selling drugs…and Jeff gives up his phone. Meanwhile, Abed and Troy move in together. Abed also becomes catatonic when Cougar Town is moved to mid-season, and the British show it was based on – Cougarton Abbey – is only six episodes long. Britta saves the day by introducing him to Inspector Spacetime (Travis Richey). Dean Pelton arrives with a new look and attitude and criticizes the head of security Sgt. Nunez (Mel Rodriguez) for allowing a monkey to live in the wall. Nunez tries to get rid of it by filling the duct with monkey gas (Chimpan-ZZZs), but it only affects Jeff, who goes into a trance mimicking the end of 2001: A Space Odyssey. Chang, who is now living in the ducts, narrowly escapes the gas. Pelton also criticizes the Assistant Dean Robert Laybourne (John Goodman), for over-spending. Pelton learns that Laybourne’s Air Conditioning Repair School Annex is making the college all of its money, so Laybourne now has Pelton under his thumb. Pelton can no longer pay the security, so Nunez takes a class as payment…and Chang becomes the new head of security. 11/28/14
• 051. Geography of Global Conflict – 9/29/2011
  • Annie appears to be jealous of a new student named Annie Kim (Irene Choi), whom has already won the favor of their political science teacher Professor Cligoris (Martin Starr). Annie attempts to bring her into the study group, but they end up in a battle of one-upping until Annie declares that she will be starting a model United Nations, an idea that Annie K. promptly steals and presents to Cligoris, who suggests that they have a Model UN face-off. Cligoris appeases Abed by saying that perhaps the two UNs exist on parallel Earths. This ultimately helps the study group win the challenge when they approach Annie K.’s Model UN and offer peace. Meanwhile Jeff works extra hard to support Annie, and even though there is sexual tension, they try to stay at a distance from each other. Britta, who is disturbed that an old friend is in a Syrian prison because of her activist activities, tries to stir up some ‘activism’ at Greendale by being rebellious, but not quite rebellious enough for Chang, who is chomping at the bit to arrest her and assert his authority as a security guard. 1/2/15
• 052. Competitive Ecology – 10/6/2011
  • Professor Kane assigns his class to pair up with the student across from them, but the study group pleads with him to let them pair off within their own group. He agrees, but immediately Pierce is left without a partner, so he partners with his original pairing, a polite boy named Todd (David Neher). When Annie notices Jeff isn’t listening to her, Troy and Abed realize they spend too much time together, and Britta gets tired of looking at photos of Shirley’s baby Ben, they all decide to re-pair. After several suggestions on how they should re-group, they end up listing their partner preferences in order and Abed calculates how to pair them, letting it slip that he paired the most popular with the least popular and so on. This causes more dissension, especially when Jeff finds out that even Todd is more popular than him. When Britta tries to burn the original list submissions, she nearly burns Todd’s turtle, causing him to berate the group. Kane labels them as the ‘mean clique’ and assigns them to do all of their projects together and each take the average grade. They blame Todd for this mess. Meanwhile Chang has decided to be a detective and tries to find out who left a book of matches in the bathroom. He ends up setting fire to his work area, but when Sgt. Nunez suggests they report the incident to the police, Dean Pelton refuses, clearly afraid of what else they may find. Nunez quits and Chang is appointed as Head of Security. Later Britta passes out a personality tests to the group for her Psychology class. Eddie Pepitone stars as Crazy Schmidt. 2/18/15
• 053. Remedial Chaos Theory – 10/13/2011
  • At a housewarming party for Troy and Abed, Jeff suggest that they roll a die to see who goes down to retrieve a pizza from the delivery man (Robert Tarpinian). The story then divides into six different timelines, depending on which number came up. Among the variables which play out in different ways: Britta singing along with the song Roxanne, a gun in Annie’s purse, a scary troll housewarming gift from Pierce to Troy, Britta smoking marijuana in the bathroom, Annie tending to Jeff after he hits his head on a ceiling fan, Shirley baking pies, a boulder in Abed’s Indiana Jones diorama, and pizza delivery man himself. Among the most chaotic of the timelines is when Troy retrieves the pizza, during which a fire starts and Pierce is shot – and eventually dies – by Annie’s gun. During the prime timeline, Abed stops the die from rolling and sends Jeff to get the pizza since the die could indicate him as the retriever. This has the happiest ending as Britta is allowed to finish singing to Roxanne, and the whole group joins in singing and dancing. Abed invites Annie to move in to their apartment. A final scene shows the alternate universe in which Pierce is dead, Shirley is an alcoholic, Jeff lost an arm, Annie is in a mental ward, Troy speaks in a voice box because of a burnt larynx, and Britta has a blue streak in her hair. Troy and Abed decide on a course of evil. The scene then returns to Abed and Troy at home in their pajamas watching TV, where Abed has felt some sort of ‘disturbance.’ NOTE: This episode was filmed after the episode that follows it. 1/3/15
• 054. Horror Fiction in Seven Spooky Steps – 10/27/2011
  • Britta tells Jeff that she received the results back on the personality tests that she had the study group take for her Psychology class and has found that one member of the class is deeply disturbed, perhaps even homicidal. At Britta’s pre-party before the Halloween dance, in an effort to see how each member of the group will respond, Britta tells them a story about a couple (Jeff and Britta) being stalked by a man with a hook hand. Abed critiques the story and offers his own about a couple (Abed and Britta) stranded in a cabin who simply call 911. Annie offers a story about Jeff as a vampire whom she tames by teaching him how to read, at which point he attacks her and she counters by turning into a werewolf. Troy’s story involves him and Abed as fighter pilots who are captured by a mad scientist (Pierce) who sews them together… which makes them more powerful and able to overcome Pierce. Pierce’s story simply has him as a stud surrounded by woman who overpowers the men. Shirley’s story relates to the apocalypse with Dean Pelton as Satan. Jeff tries to calm them by talking about the killer being revealed to be Chang, who only needs a hug. Eventually Annie realizes that Britta has actually scanned the tests upside-down. The corrected results indicate that actually only one member of the group is sane, but they decide not to find out who it is. A Happy Halloween message to the audience reveals that the normal person is Abed. NOTE: This episode was filmed prior to the episode that preceded it. 2/18/15
• 055. Advanced Gay – 11/3/2011
  • When Pierce finds out that his company’s brand of wipes has become a gay icon, especially after a song and music video called Pocketful of Hawthornes by pop singer Miss Urbana Champaign (Shangela Laquifa Wadley) becomes viral, he decides to cash in on the promotion by releasing Hawthorne’s Pride Wipes and hosting a Gay Bash. But when his father, the racist and homophobic ivory-toupee wearing Cornelius (Larry Cedar) arrives, Piece is forced by him to cancel the event. In defiance of overbearing fathers, Jeff gets the party back up and going and Pierce gets into the spirit of the event… until his father shows up again and Pierce cancels the event and fakes a heart attack. Jeff confronts Cornelius in the hospital and he has a heart attack and dies. At the funeral Pierce lambasts his late father and tells him to “suck it” during the eulogy. Meanwhile, janitor Jerry and Vice Dean Laybourne compete for Troy to respectively either learn the plumbing trade or enter the highly secretive air conditioning field. When the Vice Dean demands an answer from Troy, he choose neither, instead opting to “watch TV with (his) friend.” Dan Bakkedahl is Laybourne’s minion Murray. Katherine Von Till is a nurse. 4/5/15
• 056. Studies in Modern Movement – 11/10/2011
  • Annie is getting ready to move in with Troy and Abed, but begins to suspect that they may get on her nerves. Britta coaches her in developing a more laid-back attitude and she does her utmost to keep it even though her room is going to be a blanket fort. She warms up to the idea when her roommates put on a shadow play for her. However when she finds out that there is a second bedroom that the pair have set aside to be their “Dreamatorium,” she blows her top and decides not to move in. Troy and Abed end up giving Annie their room and take the fort for themselves. Meanwhile Jeff fakes illness so he doesn’t have to help with the move, but is blackmailed by Dean Pelton to spend the day with him unless he will tell the group that Jeff has lied. After they both get into a Karaoke video session of them performing Kiss from a Rose, Jeff finds out that the Dean is reading his emails and attacks him. Shirley and Britta argue over religion during the move and pick up a hitchhiker (Brendan Hunt) who is pro-Jesus to Shirley’s delight. But Shirley quickly becomes dismayed when he reveals that he believes he is Jesus himself… and pro-marijuana to boot. Pierce works on fixing an outlet cover in Annie’s old apartment, burns the wall, and tries to paint. He ends up getting high on the paint and hallucinating. Jeff finally arrives at the apartment and admits that he lied… but the group already knows since the Dean has Tweeted their video. Bruno Amato is Annie’s landlord. 4/5/15
• 057. Documentary Filmmaking: Redux – 11/17/2011
  • Dean Pelton has been given a budget to shoot an up-to-date commercial for Greendale, and he enlists the study group to help. Pierce refuses to perform until he gets a trailer, so he rents his own and locks himself in it. Abed prefers to remain silent and film a documentary about the process of creating the commercial. Annie acts a script supervisor, while the others are actors. Jeff wears a bald cap and plays Dean Pelton, while Annie and Troy are forced to shoot a hugging scene all day long, as Dean Pelton slowly unravels, and goes way over budget. While trying to get permission to film Luis Guzman’s statue, Luis himself comes to Greendale to take part in the commercial, but when he sees what a mess it has become, he berates the Dean and tells him how much he cherishes Greendale. The Dean films an apology to show the College Board, but Abed has re-edited a palatable commercial that he has substituted for the Dean’s film. The Dean apologizes to the study group, and they have a group hug, leaving Troy and Annie left in an embrace. Pierce’s trailer is taken to Hollywood with him in it, and delivered to Jeff Garlin (himself). Jeremy Scott Johnson is Carl, and Brady Novak is Richie, both school board members. 6/30/15
• 058. Foosball and Nocturnal Vigilantism – 12/1/2011
  • Jeff is annoyed by the East Europeans (Nick Kroll as Juergen, Alex Schemmer as Karl, Alex Klein as Lukas) who are loudly playing Foosball and talking smack in the student lounge, and is embarrassed when they quickly dispatch of him in a game. Jeff later admits to Shirley that as a youngster he took solace in Foosball until he was ridiculed by a group of bullies. Shirley then shows him that she too as an awesome player, and Jeff asks her to tutor him. Jeff and Shirley start to get close when he finds out that it was actually her (Taylar Holloman) who was the bully and made him (Jacob Bertrand) wet his pants during a game. The square off Anime style, but soon reconcile and team up against the Europeans. They manage to place the ball in the middle of the table where the Europeans can’t reach it, and Jeff and Shriley walk away. Meanwhile Annie accidentally steps on and break an extra special edition DVD of The Dark Knight. Annie blames it on a robbery much to Troy’s chagrin. Abed becomes convinced that Rick (David Ury) the landlord is responsible and dons a Batman cape and breaks into his apartment, finding only a closet full of stolen women’s shoes. Annie admits to ‘Batman’ that she broke the DVD, and is advised by him not to tell Abed. Leonard reviews frozen pizzas on YouTube. 6/28/15
• 059. Regional Holiday Music – 12/8/2011
  • Abed is sad that the Study Group are going to be spending the Christmas holidays apart. Meanwhile Jeff puts a stop to the school glee club by tipping off ASCAP that the group is performing copyrighted songs. Chang forces them to cease and desist and they all have nervous breakdowns. The glee club instructor Cory “Mr. Rad” Radison (Taran Killam) asks the group to fill in as the new glee club, but they decline. However Mr. Rad eventually talks Abed into joining as they sing the song Glee. Abed then convinces Troy to join as they perform Christmas Infiltration, and they in turn get Pierce involved by signing Baby Boomer Christmas. After they bring in Annie, she convinces Jeff to join by signing the seductive Teach Me How to Understand Christmas. Shirley is convinced when a group of choir children joins a rendition of Happy Birthday Jesus. Britta is the last to join the group and is the worst singer. When Abed finds out that Mr. Rad has long-term ambitions for the group, he sabotages their performance of Planet Christmas by having Britta sing his part. Mr. Rad becomes enraged and confesses to killing a former glee club in a bus crash. Later Abed watches the Christmas special of Inspector Spacetime alone, but the group ends up joining so they can all be together. 8/31/15
• 060. Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts – 3/15/2012
  • Pierce has been fired from Hawthorne Wipes and is looking for a new business investment, so turns to Shirley to open a sandwich shop in the Greendale cafeteria. Just then Andre busts in with a choir of singers and dancers and proposes re-marriage to Shirley and she accepts. They decide to hold their wedding in the study room and propose to host a rehearsal two days later, with Jeff delivering the toast. Since both Britta and Jeff despise the institution of marriage, Jeff struggles with the toast and turns to alcohol to help him through. After Britta and Annie take over the decoration planning, Shirley joins Pierce in presenting the sandwich shop to Dean Pelton. Meanwhile Troy and Abed attempt to not embarrass Shirley at the wedding by getting all of their weirdness out in a ‘weirddown’ in their Dreamatorium. Shirley shows up late to the rehearsal with her exciting news about the sandwich shop, but Andre gets angry and calls off the wedding, wanting to be the only breadwinner in the family. Jeff and Britta, still soured on marriage, get into a drunken exchange and nearly get married at the altar, until they are stopped by Andre and Shirley – who then get married right on the spot. Troy sees their monkey Annie’s Boobs and convinces Abed to re-instate their weirdness. The Dean announces that the school has gone with Subway instead of Shirley and Pierce’s sandwich shop, and also that he was hurt that he wasn’t invited to the wedding. Not yet hearing the news about the sandwich shop, Pierce stands at his father’s grave toasting his ‘successful’ sales pitch. Charles Walker is the Minister. NOTE: This episode was filmed after the episode that follows it. 11/30/15
• 061. Contemporary Impressionists – 3/22/2012
  • The Study Group returns from their Winter break and Jeff announces that a new therapist has put him on anti-anxiety medicine, which concerns Britta that it will cause his ego to get out of control. Meanwhile Abed has been hiring celebrity look-alikes to re-create scenes from the movies. Troy finds out that Abed is in debt of $3000 to an impersonator’s agency, run by a French Stewart look-alike named Vinnie (French Stewart), who has threatened Abed with bodily harm if he doesn’t pay. Vinnie says he will forgive the debt if the Study Group will act as celebrity impersonators at the Bar Mitzvah of a boy named Howie Schwartz (Brandon Killham). Troy and Britta dress as Michael Jackson in different stages of his career, Shirley is Oprah Winfrey, Britta is Judy Garland, Abed is Jamie Lee Curtis, Pierce is Fat Brando – although he wants to be Burt Reynolds – and Jeff is Ryan Seacrest. Jeff’s ego finally get out of control and he storms the stage in a rage when Howie is named during a mock-awards ceremony as the “most handsome young man.” Vinnie forgives the indiscretion because Howie thinks that Jeff is supposed to be Hulk Hogan. When Abed continues hiring look-alikes, Troy has to admit that he is angry with him, causing “Evil Abed” to make a return to the Dreamatorium. Meanwhile Chang recruits kids from the “Star Mitzvah” to be his security assistants. Brett Gilbert is Howie’s father. J.P. Manoux is Moby look-alike Faux-by. Max Barakat is Ted. NOTE: This episode was filmed prior to the episode that preceded it. 9/1/15
• 062. Digital Exploration of Interior Design – 3/29/2012
  • Pierce finds out that any business set up on campus must have a student who owns part of it. Dean introduces them to Subway (Travis Schuldt), who is part corporation and part student. Pierce and Shirley try to get Britta to get close to him and spy on him, but she ends up becoming attracted to him. When they sleep together, Pierce uses the information obtained from bugged lipstick that he gave Britta and calls in a Subway rep (James M. Connor), having Subway restored to just plain “Rick”… and bringing in a new Subway (Patrick Babbitt). Meanwhile Jeff finds out that the school has lockers and finds a hateful note in his from a person named Kim. A student (Adam Silver) informs Jeff that Kim has died, which makes Jeff feel terrible that he can never apologize for whatever he has done. Annie coaxes him to apologize to Kim’s locker, where the student reveals himself to be Kim, formerly hurt by Jeff because Jeff always forgot his name no matter how often they hung out. Abed and Troy disagree whether to put up a pillow fort or blanket fort on campus while their apartment is being fumigated. Dean Pelton informs them that they are close to breaking a Guinness record for largest fort, and Vice Dean Laybourne coaxes both of them into resenting each other causing an all-out war of the fort factions. Laybourne’s motive is to cause a rift between them and get Troy to join his Air Conditioning school. NOTE: This is the first of a two-part episode. Wil Garret is blind old man Harry Jefferson. 12/1/15
• 063. Pillows and Blankets – 4/5/2012
  • Presented in the style of Ken Burns’ documentary The Civil War, the narrator (Keith David) guides the audience through the events that led up to the rivalry and war between Abed’s “Pillowtown” and Troy’s “Blanketsburg.” After Star-Burns throws a pillow that destroys a portion of Blanketsburg, Dean Pelton gets Jeff to facilitate a treaty between Troy and Abed, but Troy’s ultimatum that Abed dismantle Pillowtown and Abed’s refusal leads to Troy’s declaration of war. Jeff is okay with this as it keeps him out of classes. Annie treats the injured soldiers, and stops texting Jeff when she realizes his motive, and is more concerned about repairing Troy and Abed’s friendship. Pierce has defected to from Blanketsburg to Pillowtown, and after suffering a pillow beating, he gives Abed the blueprints to his Doomsday device, a full body pillow suit. Abed’s sends Chang in with a group of the Star Mitzvah kids as professional pillow fighter, and Abed responds with the Doomsday device. A memo from Abed to his troops is intercepted by Troy’s team in which Abed outlines Troy’s weaknesses. Troy is hurt by this and responds that Abed will never find another friend willing to put up with his eccentricities. During a cease-fire so both factions can enjoy the TV show Ski Shoot Sing, Jeff calls Troy and Abed together for a truce, but it ends up that they decide who ever loses the war will move out of their apartment. During the great battle in the cafeteria the next day, Dean Pelton announces that the Guinness representative was fired and that the whole war is not pointless. Everyone walks away except for Troy and Abed who can’t stop hitting each other with pillows. Jeff gets them back together by having them put on his invisible magical friendship hats. Jeff notes in his journal that even though no one was watching, he walked all the way to the Dean’s office to retrieve the ‘hats’, and thus has proven his loyalty to help his friends. Britta acts as official photographer of the war, but not a single picture comes out except for the true between Abed and Troy… during which she was actually attempting a photo of a plate of waffles. NOTE: This is the second of a two-part episode. Tony Wilde is Spaz. 1/26/15
• 064. Origins of Vampire Mythology – 4/12/2012
  • Dean Pelton announces that a carnival is coming to Greendale, and Britta worries that it will be run by Red Beard Amusement, the carnival that her ex-boyfriend Blade (Kirk Fox) works for. When she finds out that it is indeed, she asks Annie to help keep her away from her cell phone for the weekend. Her boyfriend’s name reminds Troy and Abed of the movie Blade, which they decide to watch that weekend. Vice Dean Laybourne talks Dean Pelton into helping him recruit Troy for his School of Air Conditioning, so the Dean infiltrates the Blade viewing. Meanwhile Jeff and Shirley visit the carnival in order to get a look at Blade, who somehow mesmerizes Jeff into seeking his approval. Pierce and Chang also attend the carnival together in Pierce’s attempt to develop a friendship as strong as Troy and Abed’s. It comes to an abrupt ending after a sudden emotional outburst from Chang however. Annie puts her number in place of Blade’s in Britta’s cell phone and then allows Britta to have it back after Britta flatters her. She is disappointed that Britta also seems to seek Blade’s approval by immediately texting and calling him – although she is actually contacting Annie. Britta only becomes uninterested in Blade when Troy takes the phone and sends her a ‘nice’ text. When Britta finds out that the texts were not actually from Blade, she attempts to run to him, but Jeff shows up and announces the source of Blade’s magnetism that he was able to pry out of him: brain damage that has eradicated his sense of shame. Troy summarily Dean Pelton’s offer to join the School of Air Conditioning. 1/26/15
• 065. Virtual Systems Analysis – 4/19/2012
  • Dean Pelton, dressed as half-man/half-woman, notifies the study group that the Biology test that they are cramming for has been postponed. Jeff suggests a three-hour lunch, and Annie encourages Troy and Britta to spend time together while she will substitute for Troy by playing Inspector Spacetime with Abed in the Dreamatorium. The game goes sour when Abed tells Annie that he is irritated that she is tampering with the fabric of the group by trying to get Britta and Troy together. Using the Dreamotrium’s (cardboard) engine, he explains that he can simulate any scenario and goes on to act out the lunch date with Troy and Britta. After Annie gets angry and tampers with the cardboard engine, Abed passes out and then creates a simulation in the vein of a hospital soap opera, with Jeff as a doctor and Annie as an administrator. Annie frantically searches the simulated hospital to find the real Abed, encountering Head Nurse Shirley and Alzheimer’s Patient Pierce. Annie forces Jeff to give her Abed’s files, which reveal that Abed is a patient in the hospital. Annie tries to retrieve him by telling him that the file says he is normal, but Jeff insists that the file labels Abed as a control freak. Annie gets angry and bumps into the wall of the Dreamatorium, ending the simulation. When Annie tells Abed that she wants to be alone, Abed becomes Annie as well. Chang then shows up and brings Annie to the ‘real’ Abed, handcuffed to a locker. Annie deduces that Abed’s simulations are merely based on Abed’s fears of being alone… feelings that everyone shares. Annie releases Abed from his handcuffs and they finish their Inspector Spacetime game. James Kirkland is the manager. 4/21/16
• 066. Basic Lupine Urology – 4/26/2012
  • Told in the style of Law & Order, this episode revolves a discovered smashed yam that was part of the study group’s biology project. Professor Kane will give the group a passing grade, but Annie insists that they should receive an A, but Kane insists that his verdict will stand unless it is proven that the project was sabotaged. Annie along with Shirley, Abed, and Troy investigate the matter and start with Pierce and Todd, who prove that they could not get into the lab because it was locked. They then check with Neil to see who had signed out the key, and find that the last person had been Magnitude… but he claims that it was in his backpack that was stolen. The group interrogates Star-Burns, but since they have no authority, he refuses to cooperate. After raiding his locker and discovering stolen materials from the lab, Star-Burns agrees to implicate the culprit, Todd, whose former CO Colonel Archwood (Michael Ironside) tries to get him exonerated. Todd eventually breaks down and confesses to dropping the yam because it was too hot. Jeff then realizes that all of the yams had been doused by boiling water, which caused it to appear to be stepped on when it hit the floor. The only yam that has not suffered this fate is Vicki’s. Neil admits that he had sabotaged the yams to make Vicki’s yam look better so she could get a better grade. Neil loses his administrative duties as key master and is forced to retake Biology in summer school. While the group discusses the trial in Dean Pelton’s office, they receive a phone call that Star-Burns was killed in a car accident when the meth lab in his trunk exploded. Leslie Hendrix (from Law & Order) appears as a botanist. 4/21/16
• 067. Course Listing Unavailable – 5/3/2012
  • The study group watches Starburns’ final video indicating that he wants Abed to make a video tribute about his life. Jeff is ambivalent to his death, Annie thinks they should be more reverent, and Britta offers to use her psychology to offer the group grief counseling. Dean Pelton informs the group that Professor Kane has resigned because of the death, and that they will now have to take Biology in summer school. Meanwhile Chang demands that Pelton increase his policing powers. Still angry, Jeff kicks off a hateful speech at Starburns’ memorial, followed by angry tirades by the rest of the group, ultimately starting a riot, that Chang and his minions are called to quell. Because of the carnage and Subway’s threat to pull out of the school, the incident comes before the school board. Although the group – known as the “The Greendale Seven” plans to use Chang as the fall guy, Chang has infiltrated the school board and presented a Dean Pelton look-alike, known as Faux-by, who tells the board to expel the Greendale Seven. The group is kicked out of school, and think they have followed the darkest timeline of events, but their friendship and the fact that they are together indicates otherwise to Abed… who does end up creating a video tribute called His Name Was Alex: A Starburns Memorial. 7/8/16
• 068. Curriculum Unavailable – 5/10/2012
  • With the group settling into post-Greendale life, Abed gets arrested by Officer Cackowski for trespassing on Greendale property dressed like Inspector Spacetime, convinced that Dean Pelton has been replaced with an impostor. The officer says that the Dean won’t press charges if they take Abed to psychologist Dr. Heidi (John Hodgman). Dr. Heidi hears the group’s recollections of some of the crazy behavior of Abed, but then notes that they’ve all done crazy things, citing many examples for him. It is also noted that Greendale itself has had many crazy goings-on, and after Heidi hears them, he tells the group that they should separate themselves from Greendale. They note that there were many good things at Greendale… and most of them revolve around the Dean. This convinces them all that Abed must be right about the Dean having an impostor, as he would never have them expelled. As they get ready to leave and prove this, Dr. Heidi tells them that there is no such place as Greendale College, and that they were all actually inmates of Greendale Asylum, following their individual breakdowns. They had developed a group delusion, and had been released but were now relapsing. As the group solemnly leaves, Jeff shakes off the stupor and returns to the office where he catches Heidi trying to climb out the window. Heidi admits that Chang had hired him to keep the group away from Greendale, and in fact had placed the faux Dean Pelton in place as the head of the school. Although Heidi escapes, the group vows to return and rescue the Dean and take down Chang. David St. James is Professor Albrecht. Brian Huskey is Professor Gilbar. Lorin McCraley is the drifter. Michelle Glavan is Darcy. Abraham Benrubi appears as an orderly. 7/8/16
• 069. Digital Estate Planning – 5/17/2012
  • Pierce invites the study group to a warehouse where they are challenged to complete a rudimentary video game created by Pierce’s father Cornelius to claim his inheritance. They are greeted by Cornelius’s former assistant Gilbert Lawson (Giancarlo Esposito), who announces his intention to defeat the team, find the castle in the 16-bit game, and claim the money himself. Having extensive knowledge of the game, Gilbert quickly kills the group members – each with an avatar that looks like them – and sends them back to start. The group then comes upon a town where Britta creates a potion that she assumes is for invincibility, Shirley and Annie inadvertently kill a blacksmith and his wife, and Abed falls in love with townswoman named Hilda (voiced by Galadriel Stineman). When Gilbert drinks the ‘strength’ potion, he dies because it was actually poison. Gilbert then gets angry, uses cheat codes, and makes himself invincible. Outside of the game, the group accuses him of cheating, and he says that he’s entitled to the inheritance because he is actually the bastard son of Cornelius, making him Pierce’s half-brother. Gilbert eventually wins the inheritance but Cornelius demands that he sign a waiver indicating he will not talk about being his son any longer. When Gilbert refuses, the gang comes to his rescue and destroys Cornelius. Pierce lets him have the inheritance believing that he endured more of Cornelius’s abuse than he ever did. After the group leaves the warehouse, Abed sneaks back to download Hilda onto a flash drive. 9/30/16
• 070. The First Chang Dynasty – 5/17/2012
  • The study group reports to Officer Cackowski that the Dean has been kidnapped by Chang, who is now running the school in his own dictatorial fashion. Troy meets with Murray from the air conditioning repair annex, and is told the Dean’s exact location below the school cafeteria with massive amounts of security around him. Troy agrees to enroll in the air conditioning repair school if they agree to help with the escape. Britta and Jeff agree it’s not worth losing Troy and the plan an Ocean Eleven-style elaborate escape plan during a birthday party that Chang is throwing for himself. With Tory and Abed disguised as plumbers, Shirley dressed as a chef, and Britta and Jeff disguised as rock and roll magicians, they manage infiltrate the party. However Pierce, who insists on doing a swami routine, blows their cover, causing Chang to go after the Dean. This was part of the plan, as the Dean he is chasing is the fake one. The group walks out with the real Dean… but they are caught by Chang, who has foiled the actual plan and locks them all up under the cafeteria. Realizing they are defeated, Troy nods to the camera monitored by the air conditioning crew, who stop the giant fan in the room, through which they can all escape. They turn Chang over to the board members Carl and Richie, and Dean Pelton assures them that they can keep the conspiracy under wraps. Troy is escorted by Murray to the air conditioning repair school after exchanging parting words with his friends and is greeted by Vice Dean Laybourne. Ryan Lee is Joshua. Zachary Conneen is Nathan. 9/30/16
• 071. Introduction to Finality – 5/17/2012
  • Although Jeff is desperately trying to study for his Biology exam, he gets sidetracked acting as Shirley’s lawyer in Greendale Court when Shirley and Pierce can’t agree on who will be the official owner of Shirley’s Sandwiches, which will now replace Subway in the cafeteria. With Abed inconsolable about Troy leaving for the Air Conditioning Repair Annex, Britta begins counseling him… but this is stymied when Evil Abed takes over insists on returning them to the ‘darkest timeline,’ diagnosing Britta in the process. Dean Laybourne names Troy as the Truest Repairman, as a prophecy predicted, then mysteriously dies in a Freak leak accident. Troy suspects Vice Dean Murray and challenges him to a duel in the Sun Chamber, whereby the heat will keep getting cranked up while both participants work to repair the air conditioner. During the court case, Pierce brings in Alan as his lawyer, who had taken over Jeff’s former firm and instructs Jeff to throw the trial if he ever wants his old job back. Troy quickly fixes his air conditioner, and as Vice Dean Murray is about to pass out, sees a vision of Laybourne and fixes Murray’s air conditioner as well… but not before getting a confession for Laybourne’s murder out of him. Jeff decides to put Shirley before himself and gives a rousing speech about being unselfish, inspiring Pierce to drop the charges, and snaps Evil Abed back to his old self before he can cut off Jeff’s arm to get to the darkest timeline. Pierce and Shirley have Jeff be both of their representatives to sign the contract. Troy is released from the Air Conditioning Repair Annex, and as the ‘new Messiah’ is able to get it as part of the normal curriculum. Jeff passes his exam, and beings searching online for his father William Winger. Dean Spreck plots war on Greendale, with Chang looking on from the air duct. Star-Burns is seen still alive, putting on a hairpiece as a disguise. Abed disassembles the Dreamatorium, but makes a secret smaller version inside the blanket fort. Leonard reviews a bag of Let’s Potato Chips online Hal Rudnick is Dennis. Robert Dassie is the normal Sun Chamber announcer. John O’Brien is Chaplin. 12/31/16

SEASON 4

• 072. History 101 – 2/7/2013
  • As the group enters their senior year, Abed’s anxiety is intensifying at the thought of the study group going their separate ways, so using Britta’s advice to escape to his happy place, he often envisions the group as apart of a conventional sitcom Abed’s Happy Community College Show with a laugh track where everyone plays himself except for Pierce, who is portrayed by Fred Willard (himself). Jeff plans to take a history class and graduate early, but the only history class available is the History of Ice Cream, which due to fraud, has been over-scheduled. The Dean announces that he is hosing the The Hunger Deans, and through physical feats, winners can secure their spot in the class by winning balls with the dean’s teeth marks in them. Jeff is determined to win seven spots so that they can all be together for their final class. Meanwhile Annie is more interested in perpetrating a senior prank by moving everything in the Dean’s office except for his stapler, and Troy and Britta, who are now an official couple, can’t agree how to make wishes in the school fountain.   Jeff dances the tango with the Dean as part of the games, and accuses the dean of creating the counterfeit ice cream class tickets as a way of keeping Jeff at the school. Abed’s anxiety becomes worse and worse until his sitcom Abed goes to his own happy place, an animated series called Greendale Babies. The Jeff of this show within a show makes a rousing speech about how they will all remain friends even after college, helping Abed accept the group’s fate of disbanding. In the meantime, Leonard steals all of the balls that Jeff has won. Dean moves in next door to Jeff, and tells him that he was forced to add an additional history class under threat of losing grant money. A naked Chang appears to a postman (Ben Zelavansky) with a note that reads “My name is Kevin. I have Changnesia.” 12/31/16
• 073. Paranormal Parentage – 2/14/2013
  • The study group dresses up for a Halloween party given thrown by Vicki. Before they can leave for the party, Pierce, who wasn’t invited to the party, calls the gang over claiming he was locked in his panic room. They arrive at the spooky eccentric mansion and Pierce via video sends them on a search for his red notebook which contains the panic room code. Jeff and Britta search together and she gets him to talk about his father, and he reveals that he has his phone number. Abed manages to find his security room where he sees videos of a black figure stalking Pierce as he sleeps. Various spook sightings and paranormal happenings plaque the group, until they finally use the code that Jeff found to open the panic room door and find that Pierce isn’t inside. He makes his appearance and admits that he was only trying to scare them for Halloween. However when Abed shows him the video of the black figures stalking him, he claims that this wasn’t part of the prank. The figure reveals himself to be Pierce’s half-brother Gilbert, who was actually sneaking around taking care of Pierce to give himself a sense of purpose. Gilbert agrees to be Pierce’s roommate and they embrace. Britta asks Troy to go watch some episodes of Inspector Spacetime, and Jeff goes home to finally call his long-lost father. 4/9/17
• 074. Conventions of Space and Time – 2/21/2013
  • Britta and Troy try to hide the fact that they’re having sex from Abed, but he already knows. Troy, Abed, Britta, Jeff, and Annie prepare to head to the Inspector Spacetime convention, and Pierce and Shirley attend on their own since they weren’t invited. Upon arrival Jeff learns that he resembles one of the show’s characters Thoraxis, which prompts him to leave, leaving Annie behind. She is mistaken by the hotel for being Jeff’s wife so she plays up pretending to be Mrs. Winger. Jeff meets a beautiful fan named Lauren (Tricia Helfer), who mistakes Jeff for the actor, so he pretends to be him. When the hotel bellboy (Chris Tallman) informs Annie that her ‘husband’ is cheating on him, she is forced to throw a drink in his face. Abed meets up with another fan named Toby Weeks (Matt Lucas) from England, who snubs Troy and tries to get Abed to move to England. Troy decides to get his Gluon photo op, and with Abed busy with Toby, he starts to get the photo with Britta. But at the last minute he retrieves Abed, who has caught on to Toby’s ruse and has been locked in a time booth. Troy rescues Abed and the two get their Gluon photo together. Shirley and Pierce are whisked away by a members (Brad Stevens, Summer Stevens) of a focus group to determine the course of the American version of Inspector Spacetime being created. Based on Pierce’s suggestions, the Ensign to Inspector Spacetime (Luke Perry) becomes an attractive woman (Jennie Garth) with a tennis racket. Jeff tells Annie that if they ever were married, she would never find him flirting with another woman. JR Reed is the vintage Inspector Spacetime. Mark Ryan is the vintage Constable Edmund. Maren McGuire is Minerva. Bill Blair is Morbidor. 4/9/17
• 075. Alternative History of the German Invasion – 2/28/2013
  • Distraught about not getting into their ice cream class, the group heads into their History class and meets their teacher Professor Noel Cornwallis (Malcolm McDowell), who gives them the assignment to think how history might have been told differently if the losers had been the victors. Jeff is taken aback when he finds that two of the Foosball Germans, Karl and Lukas, and the brother of Juergen, Reinhold (Chris Diamantopoulos) are in the class, and worse yet, the Germans begin to take over the study group’s room. Although Abed has a connection with Karl since they play the same video game, Jeff sees it as a challenge and gradually gets the group up earlier and earlier to claim the room…. only to be stymied by them already being there. Jeff then arranges an Oktoberfest and invites the Germans, and although Reinhold senses a ruse, he takes a drink of beer and is photographed by Jeff. When Dean Pelton gets this information, he puts them on probation for celebrating their own heritage – which he deems as being potentially racist – and they get barred from the study rooms. Feeling victorious they return to the study room, only to find a protest against them led by the Germans for always hogging the room. Jeff thinks that this had been orchestrated by Cornwallis to show them how it feels to be victorious, but seen as the bad guys. Cornwallis denies this, and simply tells them they have missed their exam and they have all failed. To get their reputation back, the group performs some renovations on the school. Meanwhile Chang shows up in the Dean’s office, thinking his name is Kevin. The school board has approved that Chang should be returned here to his environment for recovery, and Dr. Ken Kedan (Marc Jablon) from Greendale Mental Health services is present to enforce this. The Dean tells ‘Kevin’ all of the horrible things that he has done, prompting him to turn himself in. When the Dean believes he is truly remorseful, he springs ‘Kevin’ from jail and suggests that the study group should take him back in the spirit of making amends with the school… much to their horror. 11/29/17
• 076. Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations – 3/7/2013
  • Jeff is planning to spend Thankgiving with his biological father William (James Brolin) and his half-brother Willy (Adam Levine), and Britta insists on accompanying him as his therapist. Shirley invites Abed, Troy, Annie, and Pierce to join her with her in-laws. Soon though the other guests including Shirley’s parents-in-law the Bennetts (William Charles Mitchell, Angela Sergeant), drive the gang into the garage where they feel like prisoners ala The Shawshank Redemption. Meanwhile Jeff gets cold feet and leaves his father’s before he even arrives, but Britta calls him to come back there, where Jeff finds that he has a lot of common with his father and is threatening to Willy. However when William tells Jeff that he did him a favor by leaving him since Jeff is doing so well, but this only offends Jeff and causes him to read the riot act to his father and reminisce about he never felt acceptance and actually faked an appendectomy to get sympathy from his classmates. He does however befriend his strange brother. Members of the study group try to feign illness to get out of Shirley’s, with Pierce faking a stroke as a form of entertainment, but only succeeds in offending Shirley who only wanted them there as a buffer to her in-laws. The gang helps Shirley escape as well, and the entire group meets back at the school where Jeff hosts a dinner for them… whom he considers his real family. Shirley later finds that Abed has dug a hole through the garage wall and hidden it behind a poster, which Shirley says she can use the following year. 12/1/17
• 077. Advanced Documentary Filmmaking – 3/14/2003
  • Abed is working on a documentary about Kevin – aka Chang – and his case of Changnesia, hoping to secure a grant of $40,000 from the MacGuffin Neurological Institute to study the disease led by Greendale’s Dr. Ken Kedan. Jeff is the only one from the group who is skeptical of Chang, while the other’s find Kevin to be like a small child. Jeff pretends to join the efforts to produce the documentary, while actually trying to prove that Chang is lying. Troy and Annie team up and visit a trout farm since Chang smelled like fish when he was first discovered. It leads them to its owner Sully (Mike Hagerty) who eventually admits that he used Chang as free labor. Jeff assigns Britta and Shirley to film footage of Chang working at Shirley’s Sandwiches, where he is spotted making a mysterious phone call. Greendale then makes a presentation to MacGuffin, with Pierce opening up with a racist hand puppet show, and attempts to expose Chang by revealing that the phone number he was calling was that of Chang’s former wife Allesandra (Andrea de Oliveira). This ends up proving nothing when Chang says he found the number in the vent. Lorraine (Lisa Long) from MacGuffin awards the grant after seeing the opposition displayed toward Chang. Although Jeff still isn’t fully convinced that Changnesia exists, he finally makes peace and shakes hands with Chang because after being ostracized for his behavior, he finally understands what it’s like to be Chang. Chang later is seen making a mysterious phone call to someone telling them that they all finally bought his fake Kevin identity.6/28/18
• 078. Economics of Marine Biology – 3/21/2013
  • The Dean is hellbent on recruiting Archie DeCoste (Zack Pearlman), a lazy ne’er-do-well whose parents are loaded, to become a student at Greendale. When the Dean informs the group that this is why Pierce was actually recruited, so when Pierce shows up on the recruitment day, Jeff is forced to spend a day with him off campus to keep him out of the way. School board members Richie and Carl want the Dean to lure him in with lascivious means, but the Dean prefers to keep things wholesome. Abed randomly begins to recruit a Fraternity called the Delta Cubes when the Dean makes an offhand comment about not wanting a frat with that name. Shirley and Troy take a course called Physical Education Education taught by Coach Champman (Ian Roberts) where the students learn how to become gym teachers. Troy refuses to help Shirley in class, but it backfires when Shirley is much more adept at being a teacher than Troy. Meanwhile Jeff actually enjoys his day visiting Pierce’s barbershop Silvio’s (Lou Volpe), and feels terrible when Pierce reads a text from Annie about Jeff being forced to spend time with him. The Dean finally succumbs to giving Archie everything he wants including a bevy a beautiful whores in swimsuits. However when Archie mentions wanting to own Magnitude’s catchphrase “pop-pop,” everyone starts to feel they’ve gone too far. Dean finally has to tell Archie that he refuses to buy his admission with lavish gifts, a gesture that Archie appreciates and causes him to decide to attend Greendale. The Delta Cubes de-pants the Dean, and Jeff again joins Pierce at the barbershop. Shannon Welles is the sassy granny. 6/28/18
• 079. Herstory of Dance – 4/4/2013
  • The Dean, dressed as a black and white ‘Deaner Reed,’ announces that Greendale will be having a Sadie Hawkins Dance. Britta finds the dance to be sexist so announces that she will be hosting a competing ‘Sophie B. Hawkins’ dance – using the wrong name for Susan B. Anthony. Jeff mocks her for using the wrong name, causing Britta to follow through with the dance and claiming that Hawkins will shop up to perform. Meanwhile Shirley and Annie each vow to find a date for Abed, who jumps at the chance to live out a sitcom trope of having two dates in one night. Annie introduces him to the cute but eccentric Kat (Wendy McColm), while Shirley brings along the church-going Jessica (Kristen Henry King). Abed enlists help from the coat check girl Rachel (Brie Larson), and it becomes clear that it is she who actually has the connection with Abed. However Abed misses the chance to kiss her when he thinks that this obvious romantic movie trope would clash with the sitcom trope he is living out. Once Shirley and Annie are on to his game, he apologizes and publicly announces at the dance that he is attracted to Rachel. The two reconcile and agree to go out. Britta hosts her dance on the other half of the gym, and just when all hope seems lost, Sophie B. Hawkins (herself) indeed shows up. Pierce admits that he arranged it because Jeff has been so mean to her. Jeff sees the error of his ways and delivers a heartfelt congratulations to Britta. Kevin – aka Chang – DJ’s the dance, while Dean continues his blatant pursuit of Jeff. Annie Mebane is the second coat check girl. 2/8/19
• 080. Intro to Felt Surrogacy – 4/11/2013
  • The study group has been sitting in the study room awkwardly not being able to make eye contact. The Dean wants to get to the bottom of what happened, so he suggest puppet therapy with puppets he has made of each member of the group. Dean moderates the group as ‘Dean-occhio’. Through flashback utilizing the puppets, the group recalls sitting bored in the study room and through song decides to go for a ride in a hot air balloon. However they get inside the balloon and take off before their guide (Sara Bareilles) can join them, so they veer wildly off course and land in the woods. There they meet a mountain man (Jason Alexander) and former Greendale student who gives them pills that cause them to hallucinate. While in this state, they each share a secret with each other. In the present, Shirley recounts her telling of the secret when she accidentally left her kids in the grocery store. It is then realized that no one can remember anyone else’s secret. This seems to settle the matter, but then they all realize that Shirley has revealed her secret again, so Jeff suggests that they all reveal their secret. Jeff reveals that he disappointed a date’s daughter, Britta reveals that her activism is a sham, Annie reveals that she let Professor rub her feet in order to get the answers to a test, Troy admits he set the Greendale fire that burned 55 acres, and Pierce reveals he never slept with Eartha Kitt. Back in the study room, Abed admits he never shared a secret and just joined in with being silent and not making eye contact. The Dean laments going home alone after fixing everyone’s problem… but he is summoned by the Jeff puppet to join him. 2/8/19 
• 081. Intro to Knots – 4/18/2013
  • Jeff is hosting a Christmas party at his apartment for the study group and Kevin, Annie helps decorate the apartment to get it ready, and everyone but Jeff brings gifts even though they weren’t supposed to. Abed would rather the party be more like Die Hard, so enjoys his gift from Troy: a dirty tank top. Annie announces that they are going to receive a failing grade on their History paper that they did as a group. Jeff confides in Annie that he tanked his in order to attend a Tom Waits concert, knowing everyone else’s grade would bring it up to a C-. Annie invites Professor Cornwallis over to try and get their grade up. Cornwallis can sense the sucking up and says he knows they are hoping to get their grade higher than the C-. Annie admits that she wants to be valedictorian, but can’t do so with a C-, but Jeff is happy with that since he thought he was failing. Cornwallis overhears the discussion and says that now he really is planning to give them an F. While they are out of the room discussing what to do, Kevin ties him to a chair, hoping it will raise his standing with them. Cornwallis taunts them and says he will give an A to whoever unties him while everyone else will fail, and then proceeds to toy with them by trying to turn them against each other. Dean Pelton comes to the door and distracts everyone, and when everyone looks back at Cornwallis, they find he is out of the chair. He continues to taunt them to get them to suspect each other, but when Kevin passes out his gifts, everyone notes that he doesn’t know how to tie a knot, meaning Cornwallis never was tied to the chair. Cornwallis admits he just wanted something else to do since he hate his family Christmas party… and agrees to give them all a C+. Kevin – as Chang – makes a call and laments that he was unable to get them all expelled. Abed wonders about the dark alternate timeline, in which Jeff goes before a judge (Elena Campbell-Martinez) to please Annie’s case to get her out of the Greendale insane asylum, succeeds, and then vows to go after the real timeline. 1/14/20
• 082. Basic Human Anatomy – 4/25/2013
  • Jeff tries to organize the group into doing one more group project with the simple task of talking about any time in history. Annie and Shirley want to take it seriously since they are both vying to be valedictorian. It’s the one year anniversary for Troy and Britta’s first date, but neither remembers, while Troy does remember his anniversary of the first time he and Abed watched Freaky Friday. When they rent a batch of switcheroo films, they attempt to have a Freaky Friday moment by using the DVD to transmit themselves into one another… and find out the next morning that it actually worked. Jeff wants to get started on making a history banner, so he goes out and buys a copy of the DVD – which is the wrong version –  so they can switch back, and the Dean grabs it and tries to switch places with Jeff. It doesn’t work, but still he believes he is now Jeff. Meanwhile Shirley and Annie go to the Dean to find out how Leonard can be ahead of them on the path to be the valedictorian. The Dean/Jeff looks at his file and finds out that Leonard got an A in 1968 and has been taking pass/fail classes to keep his GPA up. Britta and Troy/Abed go out for their anniversary, but Britta thinks he’s really Abed and tries to pump him for information. Jeff and Abed/Troy go looking for the original version of the Freaky Friday DVD, and the janitors – who are having a murder mystery night – take them to the lost and found. While there, he tells Jeff that Troy wants to break up with Britta, while Troy/Abed is at the restaurant breaking up with Britta. The Dean finds Leonard and forces him to quit school, bringing Shirley and Britta back to #1 and #2. Abed/Troy returns the DVD to Troy/Abed so Troy can break up with her as himself. When the group gets back to together, they find that Pierce has finished the banners and done them quite well. The Dean apologizes for ‘having Jeff inside’ him, and vows to grant Leonard three wishes. Craig Michaelson is the light flipping maintenance man.  1/14/20
• 083. Heroic Origins – 5/2/2013
  • The study group – minus Pierce, who has donated his kidney to Gilbert – is studying for their final, but Abed is more interested in studying the group’s history to determined if they were destined to be together like superheroes. He find the obvious connect of Troy and Annie going to the same high school, but also discovers that Abed had convinced Shirley’s boys Jordan (Dusan Brown) and Elijah (Milton T.J. Taylor) not to see Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, leading to him getting a restraining order from the theater, and leading to Shirley to depart a date with Andre to go and pick them up. This leads to him having an affair with a prostitute named Mysti (Natasha Leggero), who Jeff had defended and got out of a prison sentence.  Following his victory, Jeff is informed by his colleague Mark (Joe Lo Truglio) that he is being disbarred because he didn’t have his college degree. Meanwhile Chang is working directly with Dean Spreck to sabotage the Greendale lease renewal by posing as Kevin and offering to mail it for Dean Pelton. Troy confesses that he really does remember Annie from high school, as she had a meltdown at a class party when Troy was awarded many superlatives by a classmate (Alix Elizabeth Gitter) including ‘most likely to succeed’ when Annie was the valedictorian, which caused her to run screaming through a glass patio door while on drugs. The result of two balloons popping from this gave Magnitude the idea for his catch-phrase. Further connections are Britta being at the courthouse as a hippie anarchist with her friends (Tracy Meyer, Pandie Suicide) protesting a woman’s right to choose. Abed is sent to a therapist by his father, where he spots Annie stealing blank prescriptions and reports her. Abed and Jeff both start to feel like they are the villains of the story, so they all disperse and then all wind up at Yogurts Burgh. It turns out that this was where Chang was once passing out flyers there for Dean Pelton, and with all of the things going negatively in their lives, this is where each of them were when they decided to go to Greendale. After they realize that they were all brought together and that they are all happy about it. Abed goes to Chang to thank him for orchestrating it and invites him for a frozen yogurt. This is all Chang ever wanted, so he cancels his plan with Dean Spreck to sabotage the lease renewal. Spreck decides to move forward with Plan B as he looks at blueprints of a giant solar powered robot spider. Carla Jiminez is the cashier at Yogurts Burgh. Thomas Kasp is Troy’s friend who points out that Abed hasn’t blinked. 4/26/20
• 084. Advanced Introduction to Finality – 5/9/2013
  • With Jeff getting ready to graduate, he agrees to come back and work in Mark’s new law firm. The group throws Jeff a small party in the study room, and Jeff applies for his graduation and requests a larger party among his friends. He later tells Britta that he is conflicted about possibly staying at the college, especially concerned about how Abed and the group will function without him. Later Jeff throws a die to see who should bring soda to the party, and it lands in a crack between the tables, with an inconclusive result. Abed is concerned about how it landed, and volunteers to bring the soda. The die triggers the evil armless Jeff to arrive from the evil timeline, concerned that his counterpart won’t graduate and take the lucrative job. He joined by evil Annie as well, who brings him a new robotic arm. They team up to insult the other members of the group and turn them against Jeff so he will leave. He quickly insults Annie, but Abed easily identifies the evil doppelganger. Evil Jeff shoots him with a paintball which sends him to the Dean’s office in the darkest timeline. Jeff goes to comfort Annie but it is the evil Annie and she steals his phone when they hug. Abed goes to see his evil counterpart who is no longer evil, and he gives Abed some supplies and sends him home. After Evil Jeff insults everyone, the real Jeff shows up at his party only to find Evil Annie giving him back his phone and telling him to call Mark, and the Evil Jeff who confronts him and tells him that he needs to leave Greendale. Jeff tells him that he won’t leave without the study group and tears up his diploma. Evil Jeff tries to shoot him with a paintball, but Chang jumps in front of him and takes the bullet. The evil Britta, Shirley, and Troy arrive to take out the whole group. Jeff gathers his real study group, but they don’t believe him that it wasn’t him who was mean to them. Abed arrives bringing Faux-by from the darkest timeline and shows them how the warp paintball works on him to send him back. This convinces them to fight their evil counterparts. They do in fact take everyone out except for Evil Jeff. The real Jeff is ready to give up, but Abed warns him that nothing is real and this is all in his mind, and convinces him that Jeff isn’t the same person he was four years ago and should not revert to being the unscrupulous lawyer he once was. Jeff is able to stop the bullet from Evil Jeff and shoot the Evil Jeff. Jeff comes back to reality, still holding the die that was never thrown, deciding that he doesn’t need soda as long as he has his study group family. The Dean conducts Jeff’s graduation ceremony, and treats it like a wedding. Pierce drops by in the middle of it and tells everyone that he wants to graduate as well. Jeff decides to stay nearby so he can drop in, and work some small law firms to stand up to the little guy. Troy and Abed in the morning from the dark timeline take a spin around to check on a Timeline #5, in which Britta and Troy have had their baby Chewbacca. 4/26/20

SEASON 5

• 085. Repilot – 1/2/2014
  • All washed up in his new law firm, Jeff’s office is being repossessed when his former rival Alan Connor offers him a case involving a former Greendale student named Marvin Humphries, an engineer who designed a bridge that collapsed and is seeking damages from Greendale. Jeff believes that the people at Greendale are good and all he would need to do is ask for Humphries records, so he tells the Dean he is there to start a ‘Save Greendale’ group. The Dean tells Abed who tells the other study group members, and gives Jeff full access to the records room, formerly their study room, and now the living quarters of Chang, who has confessed to his crimes and is living on house arrest at the school. Jeff is unable to find the Humphries records, and soon discovers that the Dean has in fact shredded them. He then gets the idea to convince the others that their lives have been made worse by attending Greendale and that none of them are following their dreams. Eventually he is convincing enough that they all sign a lawsuit against Greendale. When Jeff sees a hologram of Pierce, who has opened a museum on campus, he is inspired by his words to not turn his back on Greendale. When  the Dean offers to Jeff a job as a law professor on campus, Jeff encourages the rest of the study group to re-enroll at Greendale in hopes of finally following their dreams. When they burn the lawsuit, the accidentally set the study table on fire, so the build a new one. Leslie Simms is the Dean’s secretary Rhonda. Al Pugliese is a repo man. Vinoj Zacharia is the hotel clerk who kicks Alan out of the concierge’s desk. 8/11/20
• 086. Introduction to Teaching – 1/2/2014
  • Jeff begins teaching his class Fundamentals of Law, but has no idea how to put a curriculum together. He meets fellow teacher Professor Buzz Hickey (Jonathan Banks) with who he shares an office, and Buzz shows him the ins and outs of the school, including the lounge which is off limits to management, and how to humiliate students like Leonard who don’t respect him. Annie begins to question Jeff’s teaching capabilities and keeps assigning Jeff work to do to get prepared. Buzz suggests eliminating her from the class by giving her a ‘minus’ on her A. Buzz tries this himself and it devastates Annie, prompting Jeff to stick up for her and get Buzz to reverse it. Annie doesn’t like him pulling strings, and when Jeff reveals that minuses are given to students that teachers don’t like, it starts a riot in the school that not even Jeff’s smooth talking can’t stop. The Dean suggests that Jeff head up a Save Greendale student/teacher coalition, so the study group invites Buzz into the group. He apologizes and gives Annie her A. Meanwhile Professor Sean Garrity (Kevin Corrigan) teaches the class Nicolas Cage: Good or Bad. Abed dives into this and becomes obsessed unlocking the answer, but when he attempts to relay his findings to the class, he has a meltdown comprised of imitating Nicolas Cage in an insane fashion, and then leaving. Shirley offers to introduce Abed to Jesus, but he says that movies were once his religion, and Nicolas Cage has proven that people are meaningless and pointless. As he discusses this with Shirley, he finds out that she is a movie buff as well. Tom DeTrinis is Red Hair. Myko Oliver is Ski Cap. Darsan Solomon is Dave. Katherine Skelton is the pretty girl Jeff leers at. Jesse McIntosh is the judgmental student. 8/12/20
• 087. Basic Intergluteal Numismatics – 1/9/2014
  • On a dark and stormy night, Shirley’s Sandwiches has its ribbon cutting, complete with a vocal number from he sons Jordan and Elijah (now played by Dante Brown), Garrett is struck by the so-called ‘ass crack bandit’, who sticks a quarter in the top crack of his butt while he is bent over. The news of this bandit’ return spreads like wildfire across the campus, so the Dean holds a press conference where he faces a barrage of questions from reporters Gwen Ridley (Sasha Compere), Tim Briggs (Derek Houck), and Raul Lopez (William Rubio). The study group and Buzz are briefed, and the returning Professor Duncan works on a profile. They all volunteer their service, but Jeff doesn’t seem to be taking it seriously until Annie drags him into the investigation. They determine that it is likely a teacher since the only route to all of the hits must have taken a shortcut through the faculty lounge. Troy is hit by the bandit in the study room, leading to him to play the victim wrapped in a blanket and transported in a wheelchair. The entire school is on high alert and taking heightened precautions. Chang devises a backwards costume in hopes of catching the perpetrator. During a support assembly, another victim is hit from under the bleacher. Professor Bublitz (Ben Folds) is questioned, and when he attempts to get away, Jeff and Annie nearly destroy the greenhouse. It turns out he was only protecting a sativa plant. The Dean accuses Annie and Jeff of teaming up because they want to spend time together, but they deny it. They all trace a call from the bandit, and find Star-Burns hiding in the stables, where he is hiding out pretending to be dead and trying to perfect a cat car. He admits the crime and earns a slap in the face from Troy. Annie questions Jeff as to whether their relationship is really platonic. Although Star-Barns is locked in a cage and abused by the class, Annie picks up on the fact that Professor Duncan likes the Dave Matthews Band, which was quoted in one of the notes from bandit. Annie becomes scared that he has targeted her. Meanwhile Jeff finds out that Star-Burns doesn’t in fact know the Dave Matthews Band. He confesses to Jeff that he only admitted it at the request of the Dean, who offered him immunity for his meth lab. It appears that Duncan is the culprit, but then he himself is hit by the bandit. As they continue to investigate, Shirley brings the news that Pierce has passed away. This supersedes the investigation, which is never resolved, as it appears that Britta, Abed, Shirley, Buzz, the Dean, his secretary Rhonda, and Shirley’s restaurant helper could all have been the perpetrator. To date, no more cracking have been reported, and the official position was that the bandit was Star-Burns, despite the fact that he recanted his confession. 11/27/20 
• 088. Cooperative Polygraphy – 1/16/2004
  • The study group returns from Pierce’s funeral, bringing with them his energon pod that contains his vapor. As they are discussing how much they miss him, they are visited by Pierce’s lawyer Mr. Stone (Walton Goggins), who claims that he is conducting an inquest because Pierce has stated that one of them murdered him. They all agree to be subjected to a polygraph with the hopes of getting some of Pierce’s fortune, although Chang drops out quickly when asked if he masturbates in the study room. As Stone’s assistant Mara (Lesley Tsina) calls out their lies, the questions seem to be designed to cause arguments among them, the most significant piece of information being that Abed has placed tracking devices on everyone in the study group. At one point, they realize that they’ve been arguing and there hasn’t even been a question from Pierce asked. Jeff finally reaches the point where they decide to admit that they are all full of lies, and they are monsters who just want Pierce’s money. They all start to admit their faults on their own. The last round of questioning asks each member of the group if they were aware of the positive things that Pierce felt about them. As the compliments are doled out, so is the inheritance with everyone receiving a cylinder of Pierce’s sperm. Troy gets an additional bonus of 14.3 million dollars if he earns his adulthood by sailing Pierce’s boat around the world. Pierce had been asked to do this by his father, but he cheated and never accomplished it, much to his regret. Most of the group gives Troy their blessing, but Abed’s is a lie. Later Stone goes out drinking with the group, he becomes more animated and tells them all how he was feeling the whole step of the way as they went through the process. Joe Hartzler is Kevin, who, along with his friend Kyle, was the actual inventor of Troy and Abed’s handshake. Scott Rognlien is the other assistant. 11/28/20
• 089. Geothermal Escapism – 1/23/2014
  • With Troy getting ready to set sail on his voyage, the study group gives him his going-away gifts, but Abed makes his ‘gift’ announcement over the P.A. declaring a schoolwide game of Hot Lava, the children’s game where you are not allowed to touch the floor. Abed offers up his #1 issue of the comic book Space Clone, valued at $50,000. Soon the entire school is set up with factions vying for the prize. Britta joins the alliance with Jeff and Annie after Jeff saves Britta from an attack by Professor Duncan and knocks him into lava. Shuffling along on chairs, the trio comes up against Chang and the locker boys, but are saved by Troy and Abed who uses their broom as weapons, causing the locker boys to retreat. Buzz has created a motorized desk that runs on fire extinguishers and mows down everyone in his path. Annie and Jeff leave Britta behind to face his wrath, but he takes mercy on her and lets her ride on this vehicle. Troy and Abed make their way to Shirley Island, where legend states that the orb is located, which Abed demands. Buzz, Britta, and a group of chairwakers attack Shirley Island, and in the melee, Troy and Abed find the orb, which is plastic bubble that they can get inside. Britta faces off with Jeff and defeats him, and Troy and Abed make their escape. They go up against Buzz, but he slices their buble and causes them to retreat. Star-Burns thinks he is the only one left, until he mowed down by the orb. Troy and Abed make their way to the basement, where Abed admits that Troy’s leaving is making him see real lava. Britta and Buzz stalk them, but Troy tells them about Abed’s predicament. When Britta hears this, she turns on Buzz and pushes him in the lava. Abed realizes that the lava is there because he can’t let go of Troy, so he sacrifices himself in the lava and plays dead. Britta has the idea to pretend to make clones of everyone, so the clone Abed is revived. This new clone will allow Troy to leave. Troy admits he is scared to go on his trip, but Abed tells him that his clone can go. Troy says heartfelt goodbyes to all of his friends, and boards the ship Childish Tycoon, along with LeVar Burton, who Pierce’s will assigned to make sure he doesn’t cheat on his trip. As the have lunch together to prepare for the trip, Troy pulls out his litany of Star Trek questions for Burton. 3/16/21
• 090. Analysis of Cork-Based Networking – 1/30/2014
  • The Save Greendale community which includes the Study Group, Buzz, and Ian welcomes their newest member Chang. Britta doles out the assignments, planning for herself to be on the midterm dance decorating committee. She assigns Buzz to hang a bulletin board in the cafeteria. Meanwhile, Abed gives Britta some spoilers on the TV series Bloodlines of Conquest, so she vows to get even by reading ahead in the books and give him spoilers for episodes that haven’t even aired. He combats this by wearing headphones all day long. Buzz tries to get some materials for the bulletin board from Jerry the janitor, but he sends him to get a work order from the head janitor. Buzz gives up, and reports back to Annie, who then volunteers to take over this task. She goes to see Jerry, Carlo (Miguel Izaguirre), and Crazy Schmidt. She manages to charm them to putting in the work order, but it will still take three to six months, and they refer her to the custodian to bump it up. They make their way to a custodian mixer and speak to Deputy Custodian Lapari (Kumail Nanjiani) and Chief Custodian Bob Waite (Nathan Fillion), who tells them he can help if they can manage to get their restricted websites unblocked, which Buzz assumes is porn. Meanwhile Abed is assigned to conduct the school census, and while being ‘deaf’ because of his headphones, he meets an actual deaf girl named Carol (Katie Leclerc), and they quickly connect. In order to more effectively communicate, Abed begins learning sign language. The others work on decorating for the dance, and Chang comes up with the theme ‘Bear Down for Mid-Terms’. No one understands what it means, but when Chang weeps uncontrollably when they snub him, they decide to just go with the theme. Annie and Buzz go to see school LAN administrator Debra Chambers (Paget Brewster) to lift the URL blockers, but she asks that her parking spot be improved. Another see the Parking Department administrator Waldron (Robert Patrick) won’t change the parking, until the Dean appoints him to oversee the content on all bulletin boards. They go to the Dean to get this accomplished, but he won’t sign off on it until Buzz says “easy peasy, lemon squeezy.” Buzz refuses, and the whole bulletin board saga comes to a halt. After the gym is all decorated with bears and birthday decor, Neil tells them that there was a kids birthday party bear attack in Wisconsin that morning, causing Chang to realize what put the idea into his head in the first place. They try to recover from this by turning the bears to dogs and calling the theme “Fat Dog for Midterms.” Annie is discouraged by Buzz, and puzzled by the dance decor… until they all feign crying to get her to accept it. By the time of the dance, Abed has fully learned sign language, but it turns out that Carol was hired by Britta to reveal the spoilers to him via sign language. Abed is devastated because he really liked her, but on the way out, he runs into Rachel running an unauthorized coat check, and the two leave together for dinner. Buzz removes his own bulletin board in his office and hangs a new one in the gym. Dean Pelton brings his janitor goons to try and stop him, but Annie attacks them, and her friends stay with her, so the Dean gives up. Garrett discovers that the dog decorations are actually bears and starts a manic. Professor Duncan somehow initiates a secret military operation while trying order staples over the supply hotline. 3/16/21
• 091. Bondage and Beta Male Sexuality – 2/27/2014
  • Duncan asks Jeff how he can score with Britta, now that Jeff is done with her. Jeff advises him to find a hippy cause and tell her that he’s really into it. He chooses a benefit show for starving children with cleft palates, which immediately interests Britta. Jeff tries to avoid it but is dragged into it, while Abed had plans to crash the premiere of the Kickpuncher reboot dressed like the classic Kickpuncher. Chang shows up at the show and takes a phone call, then suddenly finds himself on stage performing for an audience. Britta runs into some of her old anarchist friends Michael (Barak Hardley) – pronounced Mikhail, Janet (Emily Chang), and Doug (Tom Fonss). Back at Greendale, Abed gets into his Kickpuncher outfit and interrupts Buzz as he’s working on a project. Abed uses his fake arm to spray down Buzz’s work with foam, so Buzz decides to teach him about consequences by handcuffing him to the file cabinet so Abed misses his film premiere. As they chat, Abed learns that Buzz has been working on his cartoon creation Jim the Duck. He tires to get Buzz to release him by complimenting his artwork, leading Buzz to tell him that he’s a good kid… but he still won’t let him go, so Abed begins insulting his work. They start screaming at each other, but once Abed realizes he’s missed his move, Buzz lets him loose. Chang comes off the stage and exits back to the party, but the old janitor (David Schroeder) tells him that no one has been in that theater since 1997 when a fire killed 24 people. Britta finds out that her old friends sold out and now own the building that they’re in. She encourages them to return to the cause, but they say she’s the only one who has nothing to lose. Jeff decides that now he’s attracted to Britta, but he gives Duncan an hour to pursue her. With Britta now upset by her friends, Duncan offers to take her home. However, his scruples get the best of him, so he decides not to take advantage her. She also gets him to realize that Jeff is one of his only friends, and thanks him for not seducing her because she would have been vulnerable. Duncan is furious he missed out, but he returns to Jeff and they spend the evening together drinking. Chang returns to the stage, but the stage manager (Linna Carter) tells him that it was the janitor who had been killed in a fire, sending Chang running and screaming from the building. Abed returns to Buzz and they agree to collaborate on one of Abed’s scripts about police officer Police Justice. The next morning, they all return to the library, when Chang come in full of panic after his ghost encounter. The others tell him that he wasn’t even at the benefit at all, and he then remembers that no one reacted when he ran out screaming. Eddie Jackson is the audience member. 7/14/21
• 092. App Development and Condiments – 3/6/2014
  • As Shirley laments the fact that she wasn’t invited to the group dinner, much to Jeff’s irritation since he knows she is busy that night, the Dean brings in app developers David (Steve Agee) and Bixel (Brian Posehn) who want to beta test a new app called MeowMeowBeanz. This app allows everyone to rate everyone and everything with MeowMeowBeanz. Soon everyone at school is fighting to be rated highly. Chang fakes a limp in order to earn a higher rating. Both Jeff and Britta are averse to the app, and Jeff refuses to join. Britta joins, but then learns that the ratings are exponentially weight, meaning 5’s ratings carry more weight. Jeff finds that he listens to here more freely when she has mustard from her sandwich on her lip. Shirley, Abed, Chang, Buzz, and Koogler (Mitch Hurwitz) reign supreme as 5’s. Jeff decides to earn a 5 rating in order to denounce the entire caste system. By day eight of the test, the ratings have all separated themselves to their own areas, the 5’s dressed in white robes and living lives of luxury. When the 2’s and 3’s start to become suspicious of the 4’s and 5’s, Koogler suggests a talent show to give everyone the chance to become a 5. Poor entertainers at the show enable some to be reduced to 1’s. Jeff goes on with a set, making fun of the various levels. Everyone loves the show, and as Shirley is getting ready to rate him low, Koogler stands up and announce he was clearly a 5, and he is immediately elevated. However, at the 5 dance, Jeff and Shirley get into a fight, causing the other 5’s to reduce them both to 1’s. Meanwhile, Britta puts mustard on her face in order to rouse the 2’s and 3’s to a revolution, whereby everyone bands together and, with Britta holding council, lowers all of the 5’s to 1’s. Jeff enters and announces that the MeowMeowBeanz app has rated itself a 5, and that since it is rigged so no one can lower it, their only choice is to remove the app. When everyone does so, Britta herself is now stripped of her power. Jeff and Shirley reconcile and admit that they both love power, but there is no reason for them not to be friends. Jeff invites her to dinner, and when she declines because she has commitments with her kids, Jeff puts forth the idea of bringing in takeout food. Jen Kirkman, Timothy Heidecker, and Eric Weirheim are 4’s. Chris Grabher is the baton student. Jack Kennedy is the guard whose rank is lowered. Reggie Watkins is the security guard for the 5’s. 7/15/21
• 093. VCR Maintenance and Educational Publishing – 3/13/2014
  • Rachel and Abed are celebrating their one-month anniversary and Rachel gets abed an old VHS game called A Pile of Bullets. Meanwhile, Annie hands out chore assignments, and Jeff, Shirley, and Buzz wind up cleaning out a storage room where they find stacks of unused Chemistry textbooks. They plot to sell the books for their own profit, even though Shirley is initially reluctant. They go to Britta to help find a buyer, but she initially wants half of the money, finally settling on splitting it four ways. Chang then wanders into the room, and in order to keep him quiet, the other film him saying that he has stolen the books, and then tie him up. Jeff thinks they have gone too far, so he backs out of the nefarious plans. This only leads to him getting tied up by the others as well. Jeff and Chang then start planting seeds in their heads that they are all going to betray each other, so somehow Shirley manages to tie up Buzz and Britta. Annie’s oddball brother Anthony (Spencer Crittenden) comes to visit her and have an extended visit at her and Abed’s apartment. When Anthony is able to repair their refrigerator door, Annie thinks it would be a good idea to have Anthony move in with them. Abed is more interested in having Rachel move in. During their dinner with Anthony and Rachel, Annie and Abed agree to play a game of A Pile of Bullets, with the winner to be able to invite who they want to live with them. The instructions to the game are thoroughly convoluted,  and Anthony and Rachel have no idea how to play, while Abed and Annie quickly pick up on it and play amongst themselves. Anthony and Rachel get irritated, and Anthony decides to go back home, while Rachel tells Abed this is a side she doesn’t like of him. He later makes up with her by having someone stand over him with a watering can, so it looks like he’s in a rainy day, and apologizes for moving too fast. He says he thought if he sped through the relationship, he’s be less likely to screw up. Rachel tells him to just be honest with her and not keep secrets and they’ll be fine. Shirley takes the books to Britta’s buyer (Paul Williams), but he points out that the books are all misprints since the books don’t have page numbers, and he offers her $20. Shirley returns to the others and unties them. Through flashback, we see the A Pile of Bullets host Devon (Vince Gilligan) and his wife (Gina Gershon) from 1993 when he first gets the offer to be in the video. She thinks this is the future and their ticket to fame and fortune, and encourages him to quit Apple. Claudio Banks is Dean Pelton’s assistant. 1/12/22
• 094. Advanced Advanced Dungeons & Dragons – 3/20/2014
  • Buzz is annoyed that he didn’t get invited to his grandchild’s birthday party since he and his son Hank (David Cross) are estranged. Buzz says the only thing Hank is interested in is Dungeons & Dragon, so the study group plans to arrange a game to lure Hank back into his life. Abed passes out the characters and acts as Dungeon Master. Buzz’s character winds up being the father of Hank’s character. Hank catches onto the ruse of hooking him up with his father, so he mixes up the characters and forces everyone to pick a different character, and the Dean winds up to be Jeff’s son. They all set out to go to the Black Castle to kill a Necromancer. Hank immediately casts a fire, which burns the bridge they are standing on. The group is split up on the opposite sides of the icy river in the ravine below. The groups split into different rooms with Hank, Chang, Britta, and the Dean  in one, and Buzz, Jeff, Shirley, and Annie in the other. Hank and Buzz agree that if Buzz kills the necromancer first, he will be welcome at the birthday party, but if Hank kills it first, Buzz will stay away from the holidays. Shirley’s character is killed after an encounter with a hobgoblin. Abed moves from room to room to guide them through the game. Hank’s team is forced to battle sky spiders and eventually get help from them to be taken to Black Tower, and the Dean is able to get a message off to his ‘father’ to tell them they will meet the other members of the group there. Buzz’s team is able to get information from a troll to get them to the Tower, but both fear that the rivalry between Buzz and Hank will lead to war. The Dean is impaled when he hugs his father Jeff. A battle ensues, and each player is eliminated one by one, until only Buzz and Hank are standing. In the end, the necromancer gets away from both of the men. The father and son both inch their way toward a cooperative partnership in order to find the necromancer, even as they bicker. Jeff surmises that they can’t stand each other, but also can’t stand to be apart. 1/13/22
• 095. G.I. Jeff – 4/3/2014
  • The Greendale group are part of a G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero animated combat mission to protect the Taj Majal in India against the Cobra forces led by Destro (Isaac Singleton Jr.). the G.I. Joe troop is led by Flint (Bill Ratner), and contains Annie as “Tight Ship,” Britta as “Buzzkill”, Shirley as “Three Kids”, and Jeff as “Wingman”, who takes the initiative to shoot down the parachute of Destro as he attempts to escape the plane that Jeff also shoots down, causing his death. Everyone is shocked and the study group unit faces a court martial presided over by Duke (Michael Bell), Flint, and Scarlett (Mary McDonald-Lewis) and are sent to jail. Sharing their cell is a character named “Fourth Wall”, who is actually Abed. He tries to convince everyone that they are in a cartoon and that he is from a Cobra dig site known as Greendale. Jeff is visibly distraught every time the word “Greendale” is mentioned, and maintains that he belongs in G.I. Joe’s world. The cartoon action is frequently interrupted by live-action commercials for G.I. Joe actions figures. At the Cobra headquarters, the Commander (Rob Schrab) delivers the eulogy at Destro’s funeral, but is interrupted by the Vice Cobra Assistant Commander – played by the Dean – who delivers news about a power surge at “Greendale.” Cobra tries to take revenge on the G.I. Joe unit by blowing a hole in the wall of the prison cell, but this only allows them to escape to kill more Cobras soldiers and burning Lifeline to death. The G.I. Joes leave in a “Submachopter” and Fourth Wall suggests that they go to Greendale, which causes Wingman to pass out and see another commercial for the action figures, but this time they are known as the “Mutineers”. Wingman wakes up when they reach Greendale, and he finally realizes that he is a teacher there, and that he has passed out from drinking whiskey and taking anti-aging pills. He also admits that he did all of this because he is turning forty years old. Fourth Wall explains the different layers of existence, with the ‘toy commercial’ plane falling between the 1980’s cartoon and the real world. Jeff doesn’t want to attempt to go back to the real world because he is happier as a G.I. Joe. However, the Mutineers are suddenly attacked by the Cobras and the G.I. Joes, who have now joined forces. When he is confronted by questions from his real life, he realizes he cannot stay there. He exits with a jet pack into the action figure commercial plane and on to reality where he finds himself in a hospital bed with the study group, now the Save Greendale committee, and he tells them his real age. They tell him that he shouldn’t have lied about his age, but they present him with a birthday mug that they got in the gift shop. Major Dick is Professor Buzz Hickey. Xim-Xam and Mix-Max are Ian Duncan. Brent Anthony is young Jeff. Cameron Johnson and Forrest Wheeler are commercial kids. Eric Bauza is the narrator. Mark Rivers is the voice of Deep Dish. Dan Harmon is the voice of Sleep Apnea. 5/24/22
• 096. Basic Story – 4/10/2014
  • The Save Greendale committee has accomplished so much that they are ready to sit back and rest on their laurels, but Abed feels disturbed and restless because he thinks the lull indicates there is no story with which to be involved. Dean Pelton then informs them all that there will be an insurance appraiser coming to the school the next day to determine the value of the school. Abed is momentarily relieved as this would infer that there is a story to be part of even if it is one of crisis, but Jeff convinces him that there is no emergency, and no story. A student sits at his desk eating a bowl of soup, as if to placate him that there is no story whatsoever. Abed agrees that there is no story – but stops mid-sentence – and tries to sneak away from the camera to fall to his knees and again reverse his position, and declare that everything is indeed a story. And older version of himself appears to him and advises him to keep fighting the story until it falls apart. The city appraiser Ronald Mohammad (Michael McDonald) shows up the next day to survey the school, and thanks to all of the work of Save Greendale, the inspection passes and the school is declared to have value. The school board guys Carl and Richie are thrilled because this means that the school can now be sold to Subway. Abed is now relieved because the school is story-free and they can be content. Subway transforms Greendale into Subway University, and the Save Greendale committee disbands. Chang reveals himself to be a spy for Subway all along. As Abed and Annie enter the Dean’s office to help the blubbering Dean pack up, Abed notices a photo of the school’s first Dean, which is engraved with the phrase “The Truth Is Behind the Picture”… so they check there a find a scroll. The Subway Executive offers Jeff a job at the new university where he will teach Sandwich Law, and Jeff accepts. Although worried about the others, Jeff and Britta recall that the study group was originally formed because Jeff wanted to have sex with her. They realize that they are leaving the school with nothing, so Jeff proposes marriage to Britta and she accepts, as they agree that this is what people do who want to find meaning in life. Before they consummate their proposal, the Dean, Abed, and Annie burst in the room and announce that they have found a scroll leading to buried treasure that can help save the school. Chang overhears this and writes down the world “tomato” in his notebook. As Duncan and Hickey discuss their post-Greendale lives, they realize that Hickey might be Duncan’s cousin’s father. Subway rep Jared Fogle appears as himself. 5/24/22
• 097. Basic Sandwich – 4/17/2014
  • Dean Pelton shows the group an old video documentary about Greendale’s founder Russell Borcher (Chris Elliot), a millionaire computer genius who used his money to found the Greendale Computery College, where he worked on creating a machine that could process feelings. One day he disappeared and was never found, nor was his money. The city then purchased the school and turned it into a community college. Rumors persisted that he had a secret vault in his office, which has been sealed off on the property. The Dean wants to look for the money so they can buy the college instead of Subway. Buzz is able to find the blueprints that includes a Sublevel 3 where the teacher’s lounge is located. When they find an X on the wall, Buzz chops into the wall, but only finds wiring and a small fire. Jeff is ready to give up on the quest and declare their time at Greendale over, and he announces that he and Britta are getting married, much to Annie’s annoyance. Abed finds a trap door below the carpet. Chang is listening to the group’s every move, and he is able to find the keys to the trap door and gives them to Carl and Richie from the school board. Abed and his friends go down the hole and find the lost section of Greendale, where they find Borcher still living in a secret lab behind a juke box. Annie is reduced to tears because of Jeff’s announcement and questions what they are working toward to try and find Borcher’s money. Abed reminds her that the Jeff-Britta pilot would have at most six episodes, so they need to keep looking for the money, because the sooner they find it, the sooner the pilot would fall apart. Meanwhile, Carl, Richie, and Chang question Buzz and Shirley about the others’ whereabouts, and when they won’t give any information, Richie attempts to read their minds, but his results involve them escaping out a window on a hand glider. One of the Subway workers (Patrick Babbitt) finds the hatch, and tells the others. Jeff wants to take Borcher’s computer Raquel apart to steal the gold he built into it, but Annie stops him and says they all need to respect each other. Borcher tells them they can take the leftover cash, which amounts to over two million dollars. Carl and Richie surprise them, take the money, deactivate Raquel with a magnet, and lock them all into the hidden lab. Jeff find Borcher’s original contract from when he sold Greendale to the city and seems to think it will help if they can get out. Borcher realizes that Raquel’s emotional components are still working… if there is anyone among them who can provide a blast of human passion. Jeff volunteers to feed the computer with passion, which he gets by thinking of Annie. The computer releases them from the room, and they make their way to the press conference where Greendale is being sold to Subway. Jeff objects and announces that Borcher had it built into his contract with the city that he has the option to be a consultant for all of the future scholastic endeavors taking place at Greendale. When the Subway rep gets a look at Borcher, he immediately back out of the deal. The Save Greendale committee is thrilled and dances to Dave Matthews Band’s song Ants Marching. Jeff and Britta good-naturedly bicker about Britta’s need to always correct people. They call the wedding off and high five. Carl offers Chang a job on the board, and sends him to deposit the money. Chang uses some of it to replace his teeth with diamonds. Abed assures Annie that they will be back next year. Upcoming NBC programs are advertised: Chang, Carl, and Richie starring in Thought Jacker with Amber Tamblyn, Karen Stone (Lauren Anderson) in Intensive Karen, B.J. Novak in Mr. Egypt, Questlove in Celebrity Beat-Off, and Essam Ferris aka Essam Morsi in Captain Cook. Saginaw Grant is Chief Blue Sky. 9/15/22

SEASON 6 – Yahoo! Screen

• 098. Ladders – 3/17/2015
  • As the students return to Greendale, Annie realizes that there is one t0-do item that fell by the wayside: taking care of all of the rooftop Frisbees. The weight of just one more Frisbee that is thrown onto the roof it enough to cause the entire roof to collapse into the cafeteria. Leonard finds his original Frisbee that started it all, just before it dissolves into dust in his hands. Meanwhile, the study group is forced to tell Abed that Shirley went to Atlanta over the summer to take care of her father and wound up as a personal chef to a detective. Britta has agreed to take over her sandwich shop. Abed considers Shirley to be spun-off into a new series. The Dean brings in a new woman named Francesca “Frankie” Dart (Paget Brewster), who he has hired as an administrative consultant, and now insists that she is made part of the study group. Most everyone is skeptical of her intentions when she starts eliminating frivolous classes like Ladders, questions whether Shirley sandwich shop is making money, and removes all of the liquor from the teacher’s lounge, which is where Jeff needs it to be in order to teach. She also gets way of all of Annie’s list of improvements. Jeff wonders how Abed will take the changes, but he is surprisingly perceptive with the way she lives in the real world, although he is leery that she is too similar of a character to Annie. Abed attends a meeting called by Annie, where she, Britta, and Jeff propose forming a secret committee. Abed has to admit that he kind of likes Frankie, and then tests the other by asking for some pretzels. When they say that they are only for the secret committee, Abed tells them that they are not good friends. Abed tells Chang and Frankie that he has broken up with his friends, and volunteers to help Frankie make improvements at the school. He creates a montage of him cleaning thing, while Frankie tells him she needs him to do more administrative work by sending emails to Diane regarding her invoices. So he creates a montage of him sending emails, which multiple clothes changes all in the same day. He goes to see Annie and Britta at the sandwich shop, where Todd directs him to the back room, where he follows a secret passageway to makeshift old-timey speakeasy with the entire study group and other students are drinking all day long. After Abed stays there drinking late into the evening, he has a hangover when he shows up to work for Frankie the next morning. She shows up at the bar with the men in Keystone Cops – and one carrot – costumes. She says she knew about the place, but let them have it since it kept all of the defiant staff and students contained, but now that they’ve dragged Abed into it, she must put a stop to it. When Abed admits that he doesn’t want to be away from his friend and that he hates emailing Diane, Frankie throws a fit, makes fun of Leonard’s age, and calls them all ‘farts’. Jeff calls for a montage of everyone on campus drinking all day long. Frankie doesn’t come back to work and the insurance company drops Greendale. Jeff suggests that the money being saved will cover the school’s next dance budget. The Ladders class is reinstated. Everyone in class is drinking including Professor Albrecht. He climbs up on a ladder after pounding a beer and winds up falling on Annie, who winds up in the hospital, in addition to other students. The study group goes through the professor’s medical bills and the lawsuits from the students. The Dean recognizes that no one knows how to handle this issue, so Jeff and Abed track down Frankie where she is being interviewed by a man named Jude Gippernut (Will Hines) for another job. Jeff tells her that Greendale won’t be able to match her salary, but they can throw multiple apologies her way… and they do so in an apology montage. As the group goes over paperwork, Garret watches from outside the window, while Leonard watches him. Shirley gets a preview for her spin-off life for the show The Butcher and the Baker, showing Shirley saving her boss detective Mr. Butcher (Steven Weber) by finding the noose he had planned to use because he has lost the use of his legs and his wife. Shirley snaps him out of it and takes him home for dinner, while the noose seemingly comes to life. 9/17/22
• 099. Lawnmower Maintenance & Postnatal Care – 3/17/2015
  • Britta wants to bring cats into Abed and Annie’s apartment, so she brings them to the school to meet them first and one of them scratches Abed and runs under the couch. Chang attempts to retrieve it, and it bites his hand which proceeds to swell at an enormous rate and causes him to hallucinate as he searches in vain for a nurse. Meanwhile, the Dean purchases a virtual reality operating system. Jeff and Frankie are furious that he spent $5000 on it. He quickly becomes addicted to it and refuses to leave. They send him to find the serial number inside the VR so that they can use it to return it for a refund, but he catches on and deletes it by drowning it. When Britta moves into the apartment, she finds out that Annie and Abed went to her parents, and they bought her a new fold out couch bed. Abed and Annie admit that they reached out to them on Facebook so that they could help Britta, even though she doesn’t want help from them since she considers them monsters. When she tells Jeff about it, Jeff admits that he’s been taking their money to lend her for years. Frankie tracks down the creator of the OS, Elroy Patashnik (Keith David) and Jeff goes to see him where he is currently living in a Winnebago in a parking lot. Britta marches home to pay back her parents George (Martin Mull) and Deb (Lesley Ann Warren), and they admit that funding her from afar is the closest Britta would allow them to get to her. They claim that they don’t remember any of the controlling things they did to Britta over the years. She also finds that Annie and Abed are hiding in the house and demands that they show themselves, then tells them to go to hell. When her car won’t stop, she drives off on a kids named Greg’s (Duncan Joiner) Green Machine. Patshnik initially turns down Jeff’s request to refund the system, but later comes to the school and admits that it is lame and offers a refund. The Dean refuses to give it up, so Patashnik goes in with him. He offers him a device that resembles a mini-laptop, and Jeff physically unhooks him from the machine and shows him a real laptop. Britta sneaks into Frankie’s car, and Frankie gives her some advice that everyone is going to die. Britta returns to her parents’ house and decides to forgive them. Chang also shows up looking for a nurse, so George gets some antibiotics. The Dean thanks Patashnik for the refund and gives him $500 for the experience. Jeff tells the Dean they can’t afford that, but the Dean’s plan comes to fruition: Patashnik decides to enroll at Greendale. Jeff realizes he’ll never get out of there. Chang gets his hand bandaged and thinks that Patashnik is Troy. Mauto Correa is the old shop owner, Talita Maia is the sexy woman, Alejandro Barrios is the sexy man, and Paul De Sous is the cook, all actors in the film Joelno-Alto Prejuizo Moral aka Knee-High Mischief, the Portuguese version of Gremlins. 1/6/23
• 100. Basic Crisis Room Decorum – 3/24/2015
  • Annie gets some distressing news that Greendale is in jeopardy, so she text Frankie to call an emergency meeting. Frankie notifies the Dean and asks him to notify the others, but his phone number for Jeff turns out to be two friends (Takuma Anzai as Takashi, Alex Shimizu as the second teen) in Japan who have been messing with him for years. Once they all get the message and show up, Annie share an email she got from a friend that says that City College will be airing an unflattering advertisement on the air at 7am. Abed gets with friends at the City College AV department in order to get a copy of the ad, which states that Greendale at one time gave a four-year degree to a dog named Ruffles. The group sets up a situation room to deal with the issue. Frankie asks Dean Pelton if a dog got a degree at Greendale, and he replies that it wasn’t that particular dog who got a degree. Jeff would rather determine whether it can be proven that a dog got a degree. Elroy tracks down the dog’s registration and determines that it was a border terrier, while the commercial states it was a Staffordshire. Jeff asks Abed to make an attack video for City College and begin to mount an effort to discredit the dog, while Annie chooses to believe that they are better than City College and never gave a diploma to a dog since it owed $15 in library fees. Chang says he is going to go film a porno at City College in order to embarrass them. The Dean continues to text with the Japanese boys, believing they are Jeff, and can’t understand why the texting Jeff appears to be in love with him while the real Jeff in front of him does not. The boys send him to get Jeff five cans of olives, instructing him not to believe Jeff if he tells them that he hates olives. Britta, still drunk from coming straight from the bar, goes off with Elroy and they discover that they both love the band Natalie is Freezing. Frankie and Annie go through the transcripts, and they indeed find a long one for Ruffles… but no diploma. Abed finishes his video smearing Ruffles, just as the Dean returns with the olives. When Frankie shows Jeff the transcript, he thinks they are victorious, but Annie says that the dog most certainly have gotten the degree, thus rendering Greendale as a useless education. She believes that they should allow the commercial to air and let the chips fall where they may. She’d rather transfer to their school where her grades actually matter. She storms out and clears out her locker. Abed then catches her at home and shows her the updated Greendale ad. This one features the Dean with Ruffles, admitting that they almost gave the dog a degree proving that she’s an exceptional dog and that Greendale needs to get its shit together. Annie is thrilled with the results and returns to her friends, even though Jeff admits it was the best tactical move to get ahead of the scandal. Chang returns having finished his porno, a solo piece he did playing both actors. Abed thinks he’s a genius, but also tells him that he shot it in front of a blank plaster wall wearing his Greendale shirt, and titled it Chang Does Greendale. Chang then heads off to do re-shoots. Meanwhile in Japan, one of the fake Jeffs, Takashi’s father (Sonny Saito) screams at him for racking up forty thousand yen in data charges. Takashi sends Dean a text with his confession, but the Dean thinks he is being existentialist and won’t listen. An older Takashi (voice of David Chan) relates that this moment lead him to becoming oyabun, the highest leader of the Yakuza. 1/6/23
• 101. Queer Studies & Advanced Waxing – 3/31/2015
  • Annie is helping Chang prepare for an audition to play Daniel LaRusso in a play version of The Karate Kid. Meanwhile, the Wi-Fi at Greendale isn’t working, so the Dean appoints Elroy to be the new I.T. lady with Abed as his helpful friend. Richie and Carl from the Colorado Community College school board ask Dean to join the board, but want to make sure that he is openly gay, as their main reason for appointing him is so that he can help them recover their reputation after canceling a Gay Pride parade in favor of a School Board parade. The Dean doesn’t want to identify as being ‘just gay’ as there’s so much more to his sexuality. Abed discovers that the Wi-Fi is down because there is a bird’s nest built on top of the modem. Abed insists that they wait until the birds hatch because the mother will not return if they touch or move the nest, and Elroy reluctantly agrees. Chang shows up for his audition with the director Matt Lundergard (Jason Mantzoukas), and he asks that Annie read with Chang… but switches the role, with Annie taking the Daniel role and Chang taking that of Mr. Miyagi. Lundergard is incredibly hard on Chang and berates his performance constantly but tells Annie that she is fine doing whatever she wants with the Danile role. The Dean discusses the new job offer with Jeff and Frankie, and they decide that although he shouldn’t rest on his sexuality, it might be a good idea politically to get on the inside. He even pretends to pair off with a partner named Domingo (Ryan Garcia), but the Dean doesn’t want him touching him. The Dean finds out that Elroy and Abed aren’t fixing the internet because of the bird’s nest, and he agrees that they shouldn’t move it. Annie finally has enough of Lundergard abusing chain, so she threatens to walk if he doesn’t stop. Lundergard admits that he has no interest in the Daniel role but only picked her because she would fit the costume. He thinks she is terrible but can get no better, so he hasn’t bothered to work on her acting. In contrast, Chang is an excellent actor and Lundergard just wants to pull the best out of him for his performance as Miyaki. The Board members tell the Dean that he has to get the Wi-Fi going no matter what it means for the birds. The Dean then orders Elroy to move the nest, and when Elroy threatens to film the two white security guards standing off with a black man, the Dean tells the guards to stand down, and that the world will see one black man standing up to one openly gay man. Elroy then stands down and they relocate the birds. Abed and Elroy try to nurse them back to health, but two of the three birds die. The Dean feels terrible so he addresses the press and tells them that being gay is only a small amount of who he is and that he is openly a politician that will change to be what the people want. This gets him kicked off the School Board, and the Dean comes to the study group to apologize about the birds. Everyone decides to go see the Karate Kid adaptation, even though Annie thinks it is supporting the abuse. Annie Kim takes over the role of Daniel, leaving Annie rather jealous. The whole cast gives a great show, with a particularly moving performance from Chang as Mr. Miyagi. Everyone sticks around to congratulate Chang, but after he thanks them all, especially Annie, he joins Lundergard and the cast to go out and celebrate. Jeff asks Annie if he can escort her to dinner to make her feel better. Later, everyone gets together to free the surviving baby bird, who immediately flies into a transformer. Johnny Pemberton is Lundergard’s assistant. Jake Lockhart is the actor playing Johnny. Hank Chen is the gay student who thanks the Dean. Jess Allen is the actor playing Kreese. Omar Chavez is Tony, the actor playing Freddie. NOTE Jason Nunez and Jeffrey King are credited as bar patrons but do not appear. 6/24/23
• 102. Laws of Robotics & Party Rights – 4/7/2015
  • With midterms over, Britta wants to have a big party at the apartment, but Annie insists that she comply with the rules that their parties have no more than eight people. Meanwhile, Frankie arrives in the study room remotely, using a tablet on wheels to announce that the Colorado Department of Corrections is offering the school $300,000 to allow a small group of inmates to attend Greendale. Jeff encourages the Dean to allow it at that price. The prisoners then start their classes, with one murderer named Willy (Brian Van Holt) winding up in Jeff’s class Fundamental of Law. Jeff and Willie have an adversarial right off the bat, when Jeff admits that he is a phony lawyer and a phony teacher, and then Willy tells him he is a murderer. Jeff then starts showing the class an episode of the TV series Planet Earth. Annie goes to Abed to see if he can help change the rule of how many people Britta can have at her party, but Abed tells her that he makes movies and Annie makes the rules. Willie shows up in the parking garage near Jeff’s car and taunts him, then tries to bump him and knock him down the stairs. However, he can’t achieve any power with his tablet, so Jeff accuses him of murder. Jeff then goes to see Dean Pelton and tell on him, but Willie is already on the Dean’s laptop, telling on Jeff for showing Planet Earth in class. Britta gets the idea to give Abed a script for a movie called Britta’s Party and have him film it at the apartment. Therefore, Abed films an actual party that never ends as if it was a movie. Annie knows Britta has got the best of her but vows that Britta will beg for her forgiveness before it is over. In Jeff’s next class, he actually teaches class rather than show a movie. He is clearly furious at Willie, and even Garrett asks when Jeff stopped being funny and got so intense. Much to Jeff’s chagrin, the Dean and Frankie smuggle in the prisoners’ tablets into the party. The Dean seems enamored with Willie and sets up his tablet so that he can watch the Dean dance. Jeff leaves, eventually followed by nearly everyone else. Abed is disappointed that the party has actually ended, so he brings in some actors to continue the party that can party like there’s no tomorrow, when all Britta wants to do is sleep. Willie shows up in the parking garage with Jeff again, and this time Jeff throws the tablet down the stairs. The Dean catches him in the act and panics when he loses connection with Willie. The Dean tells Jeff that he’s on paid sabbatical for two weeks and has a security guard (Christopher Michael) escort Jeff off of campus. The Dean then has a ceremony to promote Willie to a professor, so the study group meets at a bar. Elroy helps Jeff get back on campus by making his own mobile tablet device using a broom. Jeff then takes his place on the tablet after he passes the security guard (Josh Latzer). Britta apologizes to Annie and asks for her help to get Abed to end the party, so she tells Britta what to say. Britta informs Abed that she only wrote the party that never ends story so that she could have the party, so Abed sends the cast home. The prison warden (James Martin Kelly) helps with the ceremony to promote Willie. Once Jeff gets in, he admits that he actually likes his job and that he wastes a minimum amount of time and steals a minimum number of supplies. He admits that he never murdered anyone, and the warden then tells everyone that Willie has been exonerated from being a murderer. Everyone is shocked and Jeff and Willie fight with their tablets. When Jeff gets knocked over, the Dean picks him up and turns off Willie. Ultimately, the prisoner rehabilitation program fails and the state offers to sell the tablets to the school. Frankie has them all test them out in their next meeting. The Dean says his isn’t working and he goes and sits on Jeff’s lap to get a connection, while a janitor (Abed Gheith) takes over the Dean’s tablet. Britta has a bad connection and gets arrested on camera. Chang calls from the toilet in Abed’s apartment. Elroy is distracted by kids throwing tennis balls against his trailer. Abed takes over all of the tablets and commences domination. Wade Randolph is convict Geller. 6/24/23
• 103. Basic Email Security – 4/14/2015
  • The Dean calls Elroy into his office to show him a virus that has infected his computer. The message coming through is that if Greendale does not cancel the comedy show of controversial comedian and known racist Gupta Gupti Gupta (Jay Chandrasekhar), they will expose the emails of every Greendale student, using the lunch lady as their example and display of power. They call in Officer Cackowski and the cybercrime division, which consists of one kid named Officer Warburton (Quinn Friedman). Further information yields that the hackers will specifically go after the Greendale Activities committee. The cop recommends that Greendale cancel the show, but when the Dean gets ready to announce the cancellation. Britta, who is highly against the comedian, suggests that they are not bullied into canceling the show, and that they honor the freedom of speech that constitution affords them. All of the committee agrees to go along with being leaked, and they deliver a press conference indicating so. They all agree to avoid the internet that night. However, the next morning, after their emails have all been leaked, it is clear that they’ve all read the emails of each other. Soon the floodgates open between them, and they begin sharing their grievances against each other… except for Abed, who has honored their pledge. Elroy is hurt by everyone making fun of his clothes. Annie finds out that they had her blood tested for amphetamines. Frankie finds out that they had a betting pool about Frankie’s sexuality. Frankie had told the school that Jeff was a functional alcohol. Eventually Abed get the sound stage set up for the comic. Elroy suggests that they all come clean about one thing that was in the emails. He admits that he had received a Christmas email chain from the Herndon family, which he answered, and eventually joined the family, Frankie points out that Elroy has been making 3D models of their bodies without permission. Their fighting is interrupted by the arrival of Gupta, who thanks them for standing by him. They all realize that they did the right thing after all. The get ready for the show and open the doors, but it is only Neil who shows up. Gupta doesn’t want to do the show for just one person, but Annie tells him that he has to. The hackers contact Dean Pelton and tell him that if the performance goes on, the emails of everyone will be published.  A huge crowd of people storm the school to stop the show, but Britta tells Gupta he must go on with the show. He immediately starts making fun of the Jews, and then targets Neil for being so fat. The hackers then leak the entire school’s data. The next day, Greendale looks like a warzone when the committee meets again. No one is sure if they can bounce back from this one, and Chang wants to make sure he understands the lesson. Officers Cackowski and Warburton return with the suspect in the hacking case, a boy named Ryan (Julian Feder) who lives across the street from the campus. He apologizes for guessing that the school’s master password was “change me”. Jeff says that the lesson of the story is that crime doesn’t pay. 10/19/23
• 104. Advanced Safety Features – 4/21/2015
  • The Greendale committee helps arrange the student alumni dance, and Chang puts together the world’s most ridiculous PowerPoint presentation. Frankie brings up a concern about guerilla marketing and wants to find ways to protect the students. Dean rushes in, utterly excited about the release of the new Honda Fit car. Elroy leaves quickly after the meeting, and Annie starts to suspect that he doesn’t like the members of the group. Frankie wants to know what was so great about former study group member Troy, and Jeff tells her that it is because Troy could play the steel drums. Annie makes Britta aware that Rick, formerly knowns as Starbucks, has shown up on campus. Britta rushes out to meet him and winds up slapping him for breaking her heart. He tells her that he is now marketing with Honda and has come back for her. The Dean buys the Honda Fit, but Rick quickly talks him into wanting a CRV. Rick admits that he still is not allowed to have a girlfriend in his new job. Nevertheless, they get in the back of the CRV to make out, before resigning themselves to just be friends. Annie and Abed manage to talk Elroy into having a game night playing The Ears Have It. The Dean returns to Rick, now with two Hondas in his possession. Rick identifies the Dean as a ‘Level 7 Susceptible’. Jeff overhears the group all having a great time playing the game with Elroy. However, once Jeff enters the room, Elroy takes off. Chang and Abed joke that maybe Elroy just doesn’t like Jeff, but Jeff takes it to heart. Jeff’s Honda boss (Billy Zane) goes to see Britta at The Vatican bar where she is working, and Rick shows up right afterward. They tell Britta that they can have a relationship in public if Britta joins Rick at Honda and they work together to sell Hondas. As a couple, they quickly are able to convince student Todd that he needs a Honda CRV. When Jeff notices Elroy leaving once again when he shows up, he decides to try and win him over by hiring his favorite band Natalie Is Freezing for the school dance. Frankie finds the Dean with his office full of Honda merchandise, causing Frankie to go after him for exercising guerilla marketing. Britta takes Rick to meet her parents, but she quickly notices that Rick tries to brainwash them toward Honda floormats. When Britta mentions that she hates the movie Avatar, Rick quickly corrects her and says that they both love that movie. Britta gets angry and storms out of the house, questioning Rick why he said they both love the movie that she hates. She gets angry when he says that they have to like everything popular in the mainstream as part of the Honda rules to appear normal at all times. Elroy is furious that Jeff has hired Natalie Is Freezing and tells him that his efforts to make him like him are failing. When the band shows up at the school, Elroy storms out. He goes to The Vatican and tells Britta that he had once dated the lead singer Julie (Lisa Loeb). Rick shows up at the bar as well and tells Britta that he is leaving Honda so that he and Britta can date like normal people. They head to the school dance together, but once they arrive, Rick overhears Frankie telling someone how the Dean is making the decision on what fleet of cars to buy for the Athletic Department. Even though he plans to quit Honda, Rick can’t help himself but gravitate towards the Dean so he can make one big final sale. By going to make the sale to the Dean, he effectively leaves Britta. Elroy goes to see Julie and tells her how she messed him up in their relationship, but that he still loves her. Jeff tells Elroy that he likes him and that he wants Elroy to like him. Elroy tells Jeff that he’s a great guy, they will be friends, and he loves him. Jeff tries to remain cool and not be overly vulnerable. Britta sees that Rick has been arrested for guerilla marketing, and his boss tells Britta that he will be fine but can never return to Greendale. He offers her a job, but she says that the Honda CRV can sell itself. Natalie Is Freezing plays Pillar of Garbage at the dance, and Elroy speculates the song is either about him or heroin. Frankie joins the band onstage and plays the steel drum. Britta tries to forget about Rick by playing The Ears Have It with her parents. 10/22/23
• 105. Intro to Recycled Cinema – 4/28/2015
  • The group finds out that Chang has become a minor celebrity for his commercials with Kolb Family Farms ham products with his catchphrase “Haaaam girl!!” He does an interview with on Celebrity Blast where he tells the interviewer (Brooke Burns) that he never talks to his old students anymore. The group feels jealous of his success since they invested so much in him, and Abed mentions that he still has the footage that he shot with Chang for a movie they were working on. The gang proposes that they capitalize on Chang’s success by finishing the movie and releasing it. Since they only have one scene with Chang, Frankie brings in a Hollywood movie producer named Maury (Steve Guttenberg), who guarantees that he can distribute it. Jeff volunteers to star in the movie as a ‘Chriss Pratt type.’ Using new footage and CGI effects, they make the film and name it Chief Starr and the Raiders of the Galaxy. Chang is given the leading role as Chief Starr, Jeff plays the Mayor of Outer Space, Britta plays the Mayor’s daughter Princess Meridian, and a CGI character is used as GlipGlop, who is voiced by Garrett. The Dean is used as the back of Chang. The beautiful Scorpio Nine, played by Annie, enters and announces that she’s a pleasure droid who is now an assassin… and Jeff’s other daughter.  This group is piloting a ship through outer space that comes under attack by the Sporborfians. As they head to the next scene in the teacher’s lounge, Jeff advises Abed to rush the production and not worry so much about quality. Elroy plays Minotaur Man as he has a meeting with Chief Starr in the space bar. A gunfight ensues, and it is obvious that Abed is disappointed in the low quality of the production, but he allows them to move on. During the next battle scenes, Annie improvises pulling a Space Bomb out from her cleavage, and then they all improvise making GlipGlop a spy before shooting him down. They all slide down into a supposed garbage shoot where they find a room full of Frisbees with the walls closing in. Leonard, a crew member on the ship, decides to become Dracula and shoots a hole through Chief Starr, causing him to disappear. Maury advises them to take the film from 87 minutes to 81 minutes before they pitch it. Everyone believes that Jeff’s death scene goes on too long. Jeff doesn’t like that idea, so he swipes the laptop to try and edit it himself. Abed enters the room to try and stop them, but Jeff attacks them. He admits that his fear is that everyone is going to leave Greendale except for him. Abed tells Jeff that things randomly fall apart, but God will make things happen. Like the movie itself, random things like Annie reaching down her shirt will happen, even if the movie is dumb and useless. Jeff agrees to cut his scene from this stupid piece of crap. They also add a final tag scene of Chang, the Mayor, and GlipGlop meeting in hell. The film gets a rousing response from the test audience at Greendale. Maury gets a call about filing Chapter Eleven. Annie finds a news story about Chang involving a hot air balloon and James Franco’s ball. None of this gives anyone a good feeling, but Jeff calls for a group hug nonetheless to celebrate the movie they made. Elsewhere, a grumpy Chang mouths off to Steven Spielberg and gets fired from his new project. Randall Park (himself) is brought in to replace him. Chang nonchalantly returns to the study group at Greendale. Abbey McBride is the commercial woman. Hank Chen is the billiard player. Folks in the news story repeating Chang’s catchphrase are Will Roberts, Mike Rose, Kate Freund, Jae Suh Park, Bryan Birge, LeJon Stewart, Melissa Hunter, Rhoda Pell, and Eve Goldbloom. 2/25/24
• 106. Grifting 101 – 5/5/2015
  • Everyone in the study group is excited about the upcoming class catalog at Greendale, in particular the class Basic Grifting. Jeff insists that, as the person closest to being a true grifter, that the class in itself is a grift. Everyone decides to take the course except for him, but they soon find that the course instructor (Matt Berry) Roger DeSalvo or Jeff Goulash or Phillip Switch or Baz Ravish merely trains them to switch out suitcases with each other over and over again. The go to Jeff and admit that he was right and now want him to help them get revenge on the professor and grift him. Jeff doesn’t want any part of it until he meets DeSalvo’s in his office, and they begin to belittle each other. Jeff says they can agree to disagree, but then returns to the study group and agrees to help grift DeSalvo. Jeff starts out by having a guy named Ryan Ridley (Ryan Ridley) deliver a telegram to Elroy in the class saying that his Aunt Baba died in Africa and left him a million dollars. DeSalvo sees this as an obvious grift by Jeff Winger and blows it off. Later, he has Ryan leave a lotto ticket behind in the teacher’s lounge. Jeff gives it to DeSalvo and tells him that they can split if if it is a winner. DeSalvo later comes into the bar where Britta works, and she asks him what it will cost to make him go away. Jeff reviews what he’s done so far toward grifting DeSalvo, and then has to admit that he is making it up as he goes along. They all get on Jeff’s case, so he decides to watch The Sting to see how they did it. Nothing seems to apply to their situation, so they are back to square one. Making matters worse, DeSalvo overhears their conversation and dramatically insults Jeff in front of everyone. Britta gets so angry that she punches him in the face and chases him into the hall, where he slips on the janitor’s wet floor and falls down a flight of stairs. The Dean is forced to pay him off in order to avoid the bad publicity, so he gives him a suitcase with $50,000 in it and expels Britta from school. Britta later meets up with DeSalvo privately and he gives her a share of the money, since this is a ruse, they had set up amongst themselves when he came into the bar. She kisses him and tells him that she will meet him later at a motel. After he leaves, he realizes that the briefcase contains fake newspaper money. He tries to find his briefcase, but Leonard has a stack of them on his cart, and Garrett is leading a Briefcase Parade around the halls of Greendale. He tracks down Britta and the other members of the group in the cafeteria, where she is talking to Officer Cackowski. Jeff tells DeSalvo that he either needs to admit that he had grifted the school out of $50,000 since his injuries can be proven to not be real, or he has to admit that he had been grifted by them, in which case his services as a teacher of grifting is no longer needed. DeSalvo leaves in shame as he removes all of his bandages and braces. Ryan Ridley comes to see Jeff to see if he needs anything else, and Jeff asks him to help move a mattress. It seems Jeff had once saved Ryan’s life at the gym by removing a barbell from his neck, and now he waits for the day that he will have done enough to pay Jeff back. 4/7/24

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