The Terrible Catsafterme

SEASON 1 – NBC

Created by Tina Fey

Theme music composed by Jeff Richmond

• 001. Pilot – 10/10/2006
  • New Vice President of Development Jack Donaghy (Alec Baldwin) arrives on the scene at NBC and calls for a meeting with the head writers of The Girlie Show, a comedy variety show starring Jenna Maroney (Jane Krakowski). Jack hopes to re-tool the show to achieve higher ratings, so the writers Liz Lemon (Tina Fey) and Pete Hornberger (Scott Adsit) are told to hire wild card comedian Tracy Jordan (Tracy Morgan). They are both resistant, but Liz arranges a meeting with Tracy, who shows up with his entourage of friends. Eventually they wind up at a strip club, and although she tries to talk him out of it, Tracy accepts the job. Liz finds out via phone that Pete has been fired. Liz, now drunk and disheveled, shows back up at NBC in time for the evening’s Girlie Show performance. Tracy makes a surprise appearance during the show’s ‘cat lady’ skit – much to Jenna’s surprise. Liz demands that Jack give Pete his job back and Jack gives in. Jack McBrayer plays page Kenneth Parcell. Judah Friedlander, John Lutz, Lonny Ross, and Keith Powell are writers Frank Rossitano, J.D. Lutz, Josh Girard, and James “Toofer” Spurlock. Grizz Chapman is Grizz and Kevin Brown is Dot Com, both members of Tracy’s entourage. Rachel Dratch appears as cat wrangler Greta Johanssen. Maulik Pancholy is Jonathan, Jack’s secretary. Teddy Coluca is the stage manager. Tom Broecker is Lee. 5/4/13

• 002. The Aftermath – 10/18/2006
  • Liz promises Jenna that she will protect her, as it becomes obvious that Jack’s focus is on making Tracy the star of The Girlie Show. This is even further confirmed when Jack changes the name of the show to TGS with Tracy Jordan. After Tracy insults Jenna by forgetting her name during a promo shoot, Liz consoles Jenna by telling her that Tracy isn’t really wanted at the show. Unfortunately, Jenna’s microphone is on, so her speech is broadcast to everyone. To smooth things over, she tells Tracy that she was just protecting Jenna’s ego, but this time the TV camera is on and captures everything. In order to make peace, Tracy invites everyone to his yacht for a party, which seems to be going well until Liz figures out that they have hijacked someone else’s yacht. The NYPD shows up to make arrests. Jack manages to keep Tracy’s name out of the paper, but a photo of Jenna drunk and passed out makes the headlines. Jenna finds this exciting and flattering. Rachel Dratch appears as Maria.  5/4/13

• 003. Blind Date – 10/25/2006
  • Jack sets up Liz with one of his friends, who turns out to be a woman named Gretchen Thomas (Stephanie March). Liz is offended at first, wondering if people view her as a lesbian, but soon, for fear that she might choke while home alone, asks her to go out again. Gretchen doesn’t want to continue to waste time on a woman who isn’t a real lesbian, so they part ways. Meanwhile, Jack and Tracy join the group poker game, and Jack forces them to gamble for high stakes. Pete loses his wedding ring and Frank loses Liz’ Emmy Award to Jack, who monopolizes the game…until Kenneth joins and Jack is unable to read a ‘blank slate’. Kenneth wins everything, but is eventually bested by Jack when Kenneth’s job is on the line. In the end, he shows mercy and doesn’t fire Kenneth. 1/7/14
• 004. Jack the Writer – 11/1/2006
  • Jack wants to practice a new management technique and sits in on several of the writing sessions, which drives everyone crazy and ultimately forces Liz to ask him to leave. He goes compliantly but his secretary Jonathan tells Liz that Jack is demanding an apology. When Liz apologizes, Jack says that he wants to be friendly with her and gives her tickets to see a rap concert, but has to ream her in front of some visiting G.E. executives. Liz also deals with assistant Cerie (Katrina Bowden) and her provocative style of dress that is distracting all of the workers. Tracy takes advantage of Kenneth running errands for him and starts to send him on increasingly more bizarre errands. Donald Glover appears a young P.A. 1/8/14

• 005. Jack-Tor – 11/16/2006
  • Using a promotional video, Jack introduces the concept of product placement to the writers (the episode itself uses obvious product placement for Snapple). Liz asks that Jack play himself in a skit parodying this, and he agrees. Jonathan tells Liz that Jack will be terrible on live TV as the promo video took five days because Jack continuously messed up his lines. Liz tries to get him out of it, but Jack sees it as a challenge and refuses to give up. After a pep talk from Liz, he manages to get through it successfully. Liz also suspects that Tracy is illiterate and he uses this to his advantage to get time off to attend ‘reading school’. Writers Frank and Toofer mess with Jenna, who wants to perform a song called Muffin Top on the show, and tell her that Jack is getting ready to fire some actors. She goes above his head and sleeps with a guy named Ron (James Murtaugh) who she believes is Jacks’ boss, but it turns out that he is only a part-time actor playing his boss in the sketch. Jenna tries to get even with them, but only successfully succeeds in getting Frank naked on the roof. Ghostface Killah (as himself) joins Jenna in her performance of Muffin Top…after the show has gone off the air. NOTE: “Super-Sized” 40 minute episode. 1/9/14

• 006. Jack Meets Dennis – 11/30/2006
  • Jack offers to be Liz’ mentor, and his number one priority is to get her to break it off with her ex-boyfriend beeper salesman Dennis Duffy (Dean Winters), whom she’s recently started seeing again. She tries, but is unsuccessful because Dennis is too upset that the Islanders lost, and he ends up moving in with her. Meanwhile three members of the cast are getting ready to perform with damaged faces: Tracy, with a removable dragon face tattoo that he gets after a magazine refers to him as ‘normal’; Josh Girard, who has been beaten up by Elizabeth Taylor (Rachel Dratch) for his impersonation of her; and Jenna, who fears losing her job because of her age so much that she gets Botox and other face treatments that go awry. A blackout saves them from going on the air. Brian Stack appears as Howard Jorgenson. 1/9/14
• 007. Tracy Does Conan – 12/7/2006
  • Liz decides she is going to break up with Dennis, but after giving blood and having a rough day at the office she is worn out. Jack strong-arms Conan O’Brian (as himself) to have Tracy on his show, after he tried to stab Conan on his last appearance. Jenna is upset because despite the fact that she is appearing in a film called The Rural Juror she was bumped in favor of Tracy and threatens to quit. Jack wants Liz to help him come up with an opening quip for a dinner introduction, which turns out to not be until February. Tracy’s physician Dr. Spaceman (Chris Parnell) has given him medication that he is having a strange reaction to – including seeing a blue man (Rachel Dratch) follow him around – so she sends Dennis to get his medication, which takes several attempts at various Rite Aids. Jack convinces Pete to wear a toupee.  Once Tracy gets the medication, he goes onto Late Night with Conan O’Brian, does a dance, and finally falls asleep. By the time Liz gets home, takes her first bite of the day, she is too tired for a breakup and she too falls asleep. Aubrey Plaza is a page. 1/25/14
• 008. The Break-Up – 12/14/2006
  • Liz finally kicks Dennis out of her apartment, but after an unsuccessful night out with Jenna that degenerates into drunken Karaoke, plus the fact that Dennis’ pros start to outweigh the cons, she thinks about taking him back…until he is caught by Dateline dating a minor. Tracy and Toofer argue about black performers appearing in drag, and end up filing charges against each other for making racial slurs. Both are forced to take sensitivity classes hosted by Pamela Shaw (Rachel Dratch). They agree to do a sketch together based on their argument, but the sketch gets bumped for Tracy appearing in drag portraying Star Jones. Jack appears to be dating Condoleezza Rice, but breaks up with her based on advice from Dennis. 1/25/14
• 009. The Baby Show – 1/4/2007
  • Cerie announces her engagement and desire to have babies, which gets Liz thinking about wanting one of her own. Jenna tells this to everyone, who then assumes that she is looking for a sperm donor. While holding the baby of make-up artist Anna (Bridget Moloney), she accidentally takes it home which causes everyone to panic. Jack is up in arms because he is constantly getting bothersome phone calls from his mother. Tracy wants Josh fired for doing impressions of him, and threatens to go to Jack, who doesn’t want to be bothered. Josh ends up posing as  Jack over the phone to fool Tracy, and visa versa. In the end, Josh is forced to do the Jack impression and talk to Jack’s mother, and imitate Tracy for Tracy’s wife. Jeff Richmond is Alfonso Disparioso. 2/23/14
• 010. The Rural Juror – 1/11/2007
  • Liz finally learns the name of and gets to see Jenna’s film The Rural Juror, and openly criticizes the film to Jenna. The rest of the staff steal a copy of the film and don’t find it as objectionable as Liz. Jenna and Liz then begin a feud, which is mediated by Jack, who at first takes Liz’s side – until she admits that she truly was only speaking out of jealousy. Meanwhile, Tracy needs money and Jack suggests endorsing a product and Tracy chooses to endorse a ‘Meat Machine’, which presses meats together without ‘unhealthy’ bread, which has been endorsed by Dr. Leo Spaceman (Chris Parnell). The device ends up spraying hot grease on its users, namely Kenneth, so Jack gives the product to Whoopi Goldberg (as herself) to market in an east European country. Rachel Dratch portrays Barbara Walters interviewing Jenna on The View. 2/23/14

• 011. The Head and the Hair – 1/18/2007
  • Liz and Jenna meet two guys on the elevator who work in the building, nicknaming the attractive one “The Hair” (Peter Herrman) and the balding one “The Head” (Brian McCann). Liz plans to ask out the Head, but is first asked out by the Hair. She feels like there must be something wrong with him, while Jenna questions whether she in fact is “The Head” in her relationship with Liz. It turns out that The Hair, actually named Gray, is third cousins with Liz. Jack participates in “Bottoms Up” day in which he will act as a page supervised by Kenneth. After Kenneth fires Jack for telling him how to aim higher, Kenneth makes a pitch for a game show called Gold Case, which is picked up and hosted by John McEnroe (as himself). The show proves to be a failure when the models make it easy to tell which case contains gold because it is so heavy. Meanwhile, Tracy enlists the aid of Toofer and Frank to write his autobiography, which is due the next day. After they nearly complete the task, Tracy remembers that the publishing company never bought the book after all. 5/7/14
• 012. Black Tie – 2/1/2007
  • Jack invites Liz to a fancy dinner to celebrate the 25th birthday of Euro-prince Gerhardt Hapsburg (Paul Reubens), a sickly inbred man with a miniature porcelain arm. Jenna sneaks into the party in hopes of marrying a prince, but after she tells him that she loves him, the prince drinks champagne and he dies. Jack’s ex-wife Bianca (Isabella Rossellini) also shows up at the party, and Jack confesses to Liz that he’s never gotten over her and has Liz pose as his date. Bianca is also insanely jealous and attacks Liz when she thinks that Jack has proposed to her. Back at the office, Tracy hires brings in some party girls and tempts Pete to cheat on his wife with Vikki (April L. Hernandez), but Kenneth is able to act as his conscience and Pete resists the temptation. Will Forte plays Tomas. 5/7/14
• 013. Up All Night – 2/8/2007
  • It’s Valentines Day and Liz has to force her staff to work all night to prepare a show. Jack gets his divorce with Bianca finalized and goes out to celebrate with Tracy, and ends up getting drunk and picking up a hooker named Vlem (Rachel Dratch), and then intruding on Tracy and his wife Angie’s (Sherri Shepherd) roll-playing Valentine evening. Liz gets flowers and can’t figure out who they’re from, but they end up being a mistake from a lawyer in the building named Floyd DeBarber (Jason Sudekis), who was trying to send them to his girlfriend Liz Lemler. Cerie admits that she’d consider sleeping with Kenneth, so the gang convinces him to go on a candy run with her and try and score. She ends up meeting up with her boyfriend, but not before Kenneth licks her face. Jenna is upset because Frank doesn’t like her, but he eventually comes to accept her when she does something ‘human’…passes gas. Joy Behar appears as herself. Sue Galloway is Sue LaRoche-Van der Hout. 8/7/14
• 014. The C Word – 2/15/2007
  • After Liz publicly humiliates J.D., she overhears him call her the C word (which happens to be spoken every time Greta says the word “runt”). At first she threatens to fire him but Pete and Frank point at that she can be rather bitchy. She tries being ultra-nice to everyone, but they end up taking advantage and Liz is left with all the work. An episode of Designing Woman inspires her to return to her old ways. Jack brings Tracy along to a fundraiser to impress GE CEO Don Geiss (Rip Torn), but Tracy feels he is there as the token funny black man and insults Geiss. Jack convinces him to play ball, and Tracy gives a rousing speech about his daughter’s diabetes and wins over Geiss, but Tracy confesses to Jack that he doesn’t have a daughter. Kenneth has sexual tension with another page named Grace Park (Charlyne Yi), but doesn’t want to ‘disgrace the peacock’ by pursuing it. 8/7/14

• 015. Hard Ball – 2/22/2007
  • Jack is excited to negotiate Josh’s contract and play hardball, but Liz wants it to me more amiable, and gives Josh a warning that he is very popular in the young girl demographic – which irritates Jack and makes it more difficult to have leverage. Josh calls off and meets with the producer of The Daily Show (Greg Bello), who makes him an offer. When Liz finds out, she is livid and wants Jack to stick it to Josh. Jack makes some phone calls and gets The Daily Show to retract their offer and then gives Josh no raise whatsoever. Liz doesn’t think its enough and makes him perform ‘the worm’ and his agent Alan (David Alan Basche) imitate a crab. Meanwhile, Jenna is misquoted in Maxim that she ‘hates the troops’, and has to do damage control by performing a patriotic song – during which the sparkler pinwheels don’t turn and end up looking like swastikas, causing a demonstration outside the studio. Kenneth becomes the newest member of Tracy’s entourage, but is way to honest with him. Tracy then finds out that Grizz and Dot Com are just ‘yes men’ and fires them. They are re-hired however after they save him from the mob scene outside the studio. Rachel Dratch plays Martha Blanche. Chris Matthews and Tucker Carlson play themselves when Jenna goes on Hardball. 9/13/14

• 016. The Source Awards – 3/1/2007
  • Jack’s vineyard produces 10,000 cases of Donaghy Estates wines, which is terrible, so he enters a deal with rap producer Ridikolus (LL Cool J) to advertise it at the Source Awards where he hopes to reach the rap community demographic. Tracy had recently been threatened by Ridikolus because Kenneth wouldn’t let him enter one of Tracy’s parties, but he agrees that if Tracy hosts the awards, he will let the issue drop. Tracy is scared that there are other rappers there who want to kill him, but finally agrees to host as long as he can channel his inner ‘Oprah’. Meanwhile Liz goes on a date with Tracy’s black business manager Steven Black (Wayne Brady), whom she finds to be a complete bore. She can’t break up with however, because he keeps accusing her of being racist. Jack and Ridikolus’ partnership is ruined at the awards show when Kenneth insults Ridikolus and Liz accidentally shoots Steven, who is also Ridikolus’ business manager. Ghostface Killah makes his second appearance as himself attempting to record an advertisement for the wine.  9/13/14

• 017. The Fighting Irish – 3/8/2007
  • Jack tells Liz that she is going to have to fire 10% of her staff to meet budget costs, translating to 14 job losses. Liz enjoys having all of her workers suck up to her. When she realizes that Floyd the “flower guy’s” girlfriend Liz Lemler (Anna Chlumsky) works for her, she is the first to go, despite protests from her accounting co-workers, who are fired as well. Jack’s brother Eddie (Nathan Lane) visits and tells Jack that their father is dead…but it ends up being a scam which is found out when Jack’s father (Brian Murray) shows up trying the very same scam. His arrival also starts a fight onstage that leads to Jack’s sister Katherine Catherine (Molly Shannon) punching Liz. Tracy preemptively shops religions and settles on Irish Catholic because of the forgiveness, until Jack warns him of the guilt that goes with that faith. Pete is afraid that his wife is pregnant and will find out that he never got a vasectomy like he told her he did; when she does, he is kicked out and has to move in with Liz. Jack gives Liz Lemler her job back…but has her transferred to Connecticut. Siobahn Fallon plays Jack’s sister Patricia, Alice Kremelberg is his sister Margaret, Boris McGiver is his brother-in-law Patrick, Kristen Sudeikis is the instructor,  10/13/14

• 018. Fireworks – 4/5/2007
  • Devon Banks (Will Arnett), an NBC vice-president from the West Coat, comes in to town to make a pitch to NBC network executives, Jack fears that he is vying for his job. When he finds out that Devon is gay, he sends Kenneth in as ‘gaybait’ to gather information on Devon, but Kenneth ends up giving more info than he gets. Liz follows Floyd and sees him going into church every afternoon. Out of curiosity she follows him inside and finds that it is an A.A. meeting…and pretends to be a member. Tracy is served with a paternity lawsuit and while taking the test, finds out from Dr. Spaceman that he is a descendant of Thomas Jefferson…and more white than black. Toofer on the other hand finds that his ancestor served as a soldier for the Confederate Army. Jack’s pitch to do a show about fireworks in NYC wins over the execs, but as soon as it begins everyone recognizes that it is scaring citizens to death and the Mayor shuts it down. Liz is forced to tell Floyd that she lied about being an alcoholic. He storms out, but later she tells him her biggest confessions and the two kiss. Tracy asks Toofer to write a dramatic move about Thomas Jefferson in which Tracy can play all the parts. Maury Povich is himself in a dream sequence in which Tracy finds out that Thomas Jefferson (Alec Baldwin) is his father. Al Roker as himself hosts the Fireworks TV show. NOTE: “Super-Sized” 40 minute episode. 10/14/14

• 019. Corporate Crush – 4/12/2007
  • While Liz is on a high from her new relationship with Floyd, Jack is depressed when Don Geiss takes away the microwave division from him after the disastrous fireworks special. Geiss also turns down Tracy’s pitch to film a biopic about Thomas Jefferson in which Tracy will play all of the roles, so Tracy uses the TV show crew to make a trailer for the film to re-pitch to Geiss. Jack and Floyd hit it off remarkably well, to the point that Jack is irritating Liz with his constant interference. She tells Jack to back off after they argue about who gets to spend time with Floyd, so Jack starts dating one of the art dealers at the Christie’ s Auction House named Phoebe (Emily Mortimer), who has Avian Bone Syndrome. Jack immediately asks her to marry him and she accepts, much to Liz’s disbelief. Geiss turns down Tracy after seeing his trailer for Jefferson, and tries to talk him into making Fat Bitch 2. Tracy declines a multimillion dollar offer in favor of producing Jefferson on his own. 11/11/14

• 020. Cleveland – 4/19/2007
  • Jack insists that Liz get to know Phoebe better, so along with Jenna, they go out for an afternoon on the town, where Liz finds out that Phoebe and Jack are having problems in the bedroom and that Jack actually fell asleep on top of her. Meanwhile Floyd suggests a getaway trip with Liz to Cleveland, Ohio to see his family. They both fall in love with the leisurely pace of the city versus New York. Floyd suggest they move there since he has a received a job offer, and Liz starts to consider it. She ultimately decides to stay in New York, but Floyd announces that he is moving. Jonathan tips Liz off to the whereabouts of Phoebe and she spies on her there with another older man. Phoebe claims that she was breaking it off with an old boyfriend. Subsequently, Liz suspects her of faking her British accent. When Jack asks Liz what she thinks of her, Liz advises him not to marry her, but Jack assumes it is because Liz is attracted to him. He kicks her out of his office and invites Phoebe in. When Tracy begins losing jobs and finds out that Bill Cosby has bad-mouthed him, he thinks he is being pursued by the Black Crusaders, a powerful group of African-Americans. He flees to Cleveland, and then to Needmore, Pennsylvania, where it does appear the he indeed is being followed. Jason Sudeikis sings the song while they are visiting Cleveland. Eric Dysart appears as Alan Garkel. 11/12/14

• 021. Hiatus – 4/26/2007
  • Liz is under tremendous stress to re-write the season finale without Tracy, who is in hiding with Kenneth’s hayseed cousin Jesse (Sean Hayes) in Needmore under the name “Gordon Tremeshko.” She is also running out of things to talk about with Floyd and at one point when their video chat reception breaks up, she thinks that Lloyd has mentioned “breaking up”…and is relieved. Jack is also having second thoughts about his marriage to Phoebe, which is intensified when his mother Colleen (Elaine Stritch) comes to visit and takes an instant disliking to her…but seems to adore Liz. Jack winds up in the hospital with a heart attack and realizes that it is Phoebe bringing on the stress and calls the wedding off. Tracy becomes so bored in Needmore that he decides to return to New York, but Jesse holds him prisoner. It takes Jack, Grizz, and Dotcom to break him out. Traffic is so intense in NYC that Kenneth throws himself down a flight of stairs so that they can ride in an ambulance. They make it back just in time for Tracy to go on the air for the season finale. Liz visits Jack in the hospital and he tells her that he is proud of the job she did on the show. Rachel Dratch plays Liz’s doctor Dr. Beauvoir. 12/23/14

SEASON 2

• 022. SeinfeldVision – 10/4/2007
  • Everyone returns to the studio after their summer hiatus. Jenna has gained 30 pounds due to indulging onstage every night during her performance in the play Mystic Pizza. Cerie wants Jenna and Liz to be the bridesmaids in her upcoming wedding, and they go dress shopping. Liz ends up buying a wedding dress to save for her ‘future wedding.’ She has officially ended it with Floyd. Jack is pushing a week-long promotion called SeinfeldVision, whereby Jerry Seinfeld (as himself) will be featured in many NBC series throughout the week, by digitally inserting previously-shot footage of him. When Jerry gets winds of it, he visits the studio to object, where he is continuously annoyed by Kenneth, gives Liz advice to get back with Floyd, and threatens to buy NBC and fire Jack if he doesn’t come up with an offer for using his image. When Liz calls Floyd, another woman answers. Jack eventually begs Jerry to let him use the footage, and Jerry agrees with the stipulation that it is only for one night, that he can promote his film Bee Movie, and that NBC donate to the charity of his choice. Meanwhile, Kenneth becomes the ‘office wife’ of Tracy after his wife throws him out of the house for trying to rescue a transvestite. 12/23/14

• 023. Jack Gets in the Game – 10/11/2007
  • Jack thinks he might be the heir apparent to Don Geiss, who he believes is getting ready to retire. However the opportunistic Devon Banks, although he is gay, claims that he has become straight and is now getting ready to marry Geiss’ homely daughter Kathy (Marceline Hugot). Devon cannot help but hit on Kenneth, who lets it slip that Jack is recovering from a heart attack. Jack and Devon attend a party at Don’s house, where Devon tries to engage in activities bad for Jack’s heart, and Jack tries to tempt Devon by having a shirtless man wrestle with him. When Devon chokes on a hot dog, Jack agrees to help him if he will back off in trying to make him look bad. Don later reveals that he knew about Jack’s heart attack, but based on his outstanding performance playing football at the party, he thinks he is up to be his successor. Meanwhile Tracy pines for his wife Angela who has left him, and ends up sending Kenneth to sleep with her to make up for all of the cheating he has done. Kenneth can’t go through with it, and Tracy ends up agreeing that he will stay in Angela’s sight at all times if she takes him back. Jenna tries to lose weight first by eating only paper, then visiting Dr. Spaceman to get a bizarre operation. However when she rises to a whole new level of popularity with a new catch phrase “Me Want Food!”, she decides to stay fat. Liz realizes she needs to do better at taking control of her own life and stop interfering with others. Portions of Tracy’s song Werewolf Bar Mitzvah are revealed in this episode. 2/9/15

• 024. The Collection – 10/18/1997
  • Nervous that G.E. will dig dirt up on him before offering him the job as president, Jack hires his own private detective Lenny Wosniak (Steve Buscemi) to see what he can find about himself. Lenny discovers that Jack owns a large cookie jar collection and warns him to get rid of it. Angela puts Liz in charge of watching over Tracy, but she soon allows him to go to a strip club, at which point everything he does – including work on the show – has to go through her. Tracy finally has to step in and put her in her place, which ends up turning her on. Kenneth is assigned to help Jenna keep the weight on, but is having trouble getting her to eat. Liz advises him that women with low self esteem either compensate by sex or over eating. When Kenneth insults her, she attacks him and makes out with him. Jack ends up giving his cookie jar collection to Kenneth. Jackie Mason appears as himself in a flashback. 2/11/15

• 025. Rosemary’s Baby – 10/25/2007
  • Liz runs into her idol, former TV writer Rosemary Howard (Carrie Fisher), at a book signing and they hit it off and have lunch. Liz hires her on as a writer, but Rosemary insists on being ultra-edgy and even goes to Jack to talk to him about her ideas. Jack is nice to Rosemary but tells Liz to fire her, causing to Liz to make the ultimatum that she will walk as well. They both end up fired and Liz goes to Rosemary’s low-end apartment to work on ideas of their own, but is soon scared of the area and about losing her job and heads back to Jack to get her job back. Meanwhile Jack tells Tracy that he can fix any trouble Tracy gets into after Tracy mangles the Star Spangled Banner at a baseball game, with the stipulation that he doesn’t get into dog-fighting. This makes Tracy want to do nothing but start a dog-fighting ring, which causes Jack to insist that Tracy go into therapy. Jack role-plays Tracy’s parents and somehow this gets Tracy to give up the notion of dog-fighting. A now-thin Jenna accidentally catches Kenneth’s jacket on fire and tries to get another one for him from head page Donny Lawson (Paul Scheer). Donny threatens to transfer Kenneth unless he can beat him at a page-off. Pete quickly puts a stop to that and orders Donny to get Kenneth another jacket. Donny warns Jenna that it is not over between them. Jean Villepique is therapist Suzanne Hocker. 3/20/15

• 026. Greenzo – 11/8/2007
  • Jack hires an actor maned Jared (David Schwimmer) to portray environmental mascot Greenzo. He is a hit with the public and Don Geiss, but soon he starts bossing around the staff and rudely overstepping his authority. Jack forces Liz to tolerate it until Greenzo goes on Today and tells host Meredith Vieira (as herself) how big business has the power to heal the earth if not for their corporate greed. Jack attempts to fire Greenzo and use Al Gore (as himself) in his place, getting him to the studio under the guise of having a car that runs on garbage. Greenzo crashes the set and catches the model of Earth on fire. Meanwhile Liz suspects Pete of having an affair behind his wife’s back while living at her apartment, but it turns out that he is is actually having an ‘affair’ with his wife Paula (Paula Pell), and asks Liz if he can go on living with her to keep the excitement in their marriage; she agrees. Liz fears that Kenneth’s party will end up just being her and him like many times in the past, so she gets Tracy to hype the party, which he does by telling everyone that rapper T.I. will be present.  The rumors continue to escalate until everyone wants to be there. The party ends up wild beyond everyone’s dreams and Jack and Kenneth later preach to everyone about the unprecedented debauchery that took place. 3/20/15

• 027. Somebody to Love – 11/15/2007
  • Jack meets a woman named Celeste ‘C.C.’ Cunningham (Edie Falco) at John McCain’s Republican gathering and ends up sleeping with her, only later to find out that she is a Democrat Congresswoman wo is suing Sheinhardt Wig Company, the parent company of NBC. They initially agree they can’t see each other again, but when Jack watches the Lifetime original movie based on her life starring Candace Van der Shark (Kristen Wiig) as Celeste, he decides he can’t live without her and goes and gets her at Bill Clinton’s office in Harlem. Meanwhile Kenneth loses a pair of Jack’s pants out of his dry cleaning and in order to raise money to replace them, he accepts a series of dares around the office to the staff’s amusement. He finally earns enough and presents Jonathan with the new pants, which Jonathan places in his giant closet full of suits. Liz thinks that her neighbor Raheem Haddad (Fred Armisen) is a terrorist and has him arrested and tortured, only to find out that his strange behavior is all related to his attempt to get on The Amazing Race with his brother Aziz (Hamza Ahmed). Hairstylist Richard Esposito plays himself. 6/16/15

• 028. Cougars – 11/29/2007
  • Liz agrees to go out on a date with a 20-year old coffee delivery boy named Jamie Hamilton (Val Emmich), but soon finds that she’s having a hard time keeping up with a guy 17 years younger than her. Jack encourages her to just have fun with him and buy him frequent gifts. She keeps it up until she meets his mother Beth (Laura Berrios), who looks almost exactly like her. Frank has a crush on Jamie as well and stalks him as he dates Liz, questioning his own sexuality, and ultimately deciding he is only gay for Jamie. Jenna follows Liz’s lead and tries to date a childish teenager named Aidan (Ian Hyland). Meanwhile Tracy’s community service sentence has him coaching an inner city baseball team, but Jack thinks he isn’t pushing them hard enough to win. Jack puts Kenneth in charge of the team, but he can’t handle them, and when they attack both Jack and Kenneth with baseball bats, Jack has to ask Tracy to return as coach. They eventually end up with a winning team when Grizz and Dotcom join the team. 6/17/15

• 029. Secrets and Lies – 12/6/2007
  • Jack feels it is important to continue concealing his relationship with C.C., although she wants to go public and stop sneaking around. C.C. confides in Liz, while Jack seeks advice from political commentator James Carville (himself), who advises him to go ‘Cajun Style.’ Jack announces his relationship to a group of his peers, who in turn make some of their own strange confessions. Meanwhile Jenna receives an award, which makes Tracy jealous. In order to appease him, Liz creates a mock “Pacific Rim Emmy Award” for him to receive. Jenna in turn gets jealous that Tracy gets to much attention and stages her own protest…until Liz confesses how many hoops she’s jumped through to appease Jenna’s ego. Frank and Toofer mock each other to the point that they want to stop but need another scapegoat, so they make fun of Josh’s hair. 8/7/15

• 030. Ludachristmas – 12/13/2007
  • On the eve of the TGS staff’s annual “Ludachristmas” party, Jack is forced to host his snide and bitter mother Colleen, while Liz’s squeaky clean family shows up as well. Colleen is instantly irritated by Dick (Buck Henry) and Margaret Lemon (Anita Gillette), who seem like the perfect family… except for their son Mitch, who due to a skiing accident thinks that every day is December 7, 1985. Colleen is bound and determine to expose some flaws in the family, but it is not until Mitch reveals that his parents took him to see The Goonies when they were supposed to be watching he participate in her only football game that she had lobbied to get into, that they begin to bicker to Jack and Colleen’s delight. Meanwhile Tracy is forced to wear an alcohol monitoring anklet, and Kenneth forces the group to listen to Reverend Gary (John Mooney) about the true meaning of Christmas, which prompts them to tear down the Christmas tree outside of the NBC building. 8/7/14

• 031. Episode 210 – 1/10/2008
  • Jack is in negotiations to acquire a German TV company, but when he takes off for Hockassin, Pennsylvania to meet C.C. halfway between New York and Pennsylvania. Meanwhile Liz takes Jack’s advise to invest in real estate and makes an offer to buy a dream apartment at The Windmere. She tries unsuccessful to win over the co-op board, and winds up getting drunk and leaving them a series of insulting messages. Tracy buys a cappuccino maker and as a result, Kenneth becomes hopelessly addicted to coffee. With Jack gone, Liz is assigned to watch and review the German TV company’s sitcoms, which she passes off to Kenneth, who is much to high on coffee to be of any use. When the Germans show up, Liz accidentally agrees to sell NBC to them. Jack agrees that the mistake was his fault, but decides to give up his job and pursue a life with C.C. However she does not feel the same way, and the two split up. Tracy gets Kenneth off coffee, but Kenneth believes that he has been ‘Sodomized’ by New York City, and heads back home to Georgia. The cast sings Midnight Train to Georgia – much to the chagrin of the show’s guest star Gladys Knight (as herself). Kenneth returns when he misses the train. Edward Herrmann is board member Walter. 11/12/15

• 032. MILF Island – 4/10/2008
  • The staff is glued to their television watching NBC’s reality offering MILF Island, waiting to find out who is the last woman kicked off the island, Debra (Pierra Francesca) or Deborah (Deidre Goodwin). Someone on the staff has belittled Jack to a reporter for the New York Post, so he enlists Liz to find out who it was, even though Kenneth has actually witnessed that it is Liz who is the culprit. Liz refuses to take the rap, stating that her staff owes her for all the times that she has covered for them. Kenneth wants her to confess, but she refuses. Finally after witnessing the staff bickering, Kenneth confesses. Jack tells Liz that the incident has brought back his boyhood stuttering, and she finally feels so guilty that she confesses. Jack states he already knew it had been her based on the verbiage that she used, but he wanted her to owe him a favor: writing a spin-off series for Deborah, who is winner on MILF Island. Meanwhile Pete gets his arm stuck in a vending machine that eventually topples over on him as he tries to escape. Rob Huebel is the MILF Island host. 11/13/15

• 033. Subway Hero – 4/17/2008
  • When Liz’s ex-boyfriend Dennis saves someone from being hit by a subway, his local celebrity status entices Jack to have Liz ask him to be a guest on T.G.S. with Tracy Jordan. Liz is reluctant but eventually approaches him, causing him to naturally think that she wants him back. Indeed Liz starts to become attracted again based on his ability to make her laugh while insulting people. Dennis ends up proposing to Liz during an interview and she ruthlessly declines, causing Dennis to go an egocentric tirade, that causes him to lose his fame, and gets bumped from the show for Winston, a bird who dialed 9-1-1 Feeling sorry for him, she meets up with him in the subway station, where he tries to push in front of a subway in order to regain his fame. She storms off, while he promises that she’ll be back. Meanwhile Jack looks for a Republican celebrity to attend a John McCain fundraiser. He brings in former star Bucky Bright (Tim Conway), but quickly deems him irrelevant and moves on to try and convince Tracy to become Republican. Tracy declines at first, but then has a dream that Richard Nixon – who is actually Jack – convinces him by showing him Sammy Davis Jr. – who is actually Toofer – a major black force in the Republican party. Tracy attempts to do a commercial, but then realizes that blacks will always vote Democrat… leading Jack to arrange for him to do a PSA encouraging black people not to vote. Kenneth shows Bucky around NBC and gets an earful of his disturbing stories about his early days in television. Kenneth pleads that he stop, but the realizes that things are just as weird in the business today. Mayor Michael Bloomberg plays himself. “Lord Stanley Cup” also is credited as himself. 1/9/16

• 034. Succession – 4/24/2008
  • Don secretly tells Jack that he is going to present Jack as his successor to the G.E. Board of Directors, despite Devon getting ready to become his son-in-law. Jack confides in Liz with the news, and when Devon shows up to sabotage Jack, Liz forces herself on Devon in the elevator so that it can be captures on film and presented to Don if necessary. Because of her loyalty, Jack tells Liz that she will be his successor as Vice President of East Coast Television and Microwave Oven Programming. She is not interested until she sees the starting salary, at which time she moves into the corporate role, getting ‘business drunk’ and joking with other execs, but most importantly coming up with the idea of the ‘button classic’ for microwaves. While hosting a bachelor party for Devon on the T.G.S set, Liz forgets to get Don the food he asked for, and he goes into a diabetic coma and even Dr. Spaceman cannot get him to come out of it. Although Devon has been informed by Don that Jack will be taking his place, he claims to not know that and calls an emergency meeting of the Board of Directors and gets them to appoint Don’s daughter Cathy as the Chairman of the Board. Meanwhile Tracy attempts to leave a legacy that his sons will be proud of by inventing a porno video game. Frank thinks it can’t be done, but after he sees Tracy’s plans, he thinks Tracy is a genius and chides himself for not coming up with it first. 1/10/16

• 035. Sandwich Day – 5/1/2008
  • Jack pleads with the unconscious Don Geiss to come out of his coma to oust his daughter from the Chairman of the Board position. With no response from Don, Jack is moved to the dreaded 12th floor, and finally decides to quit and take a job with the Bush administration as Homeland Security Director for Crisis and Weather Management. Meanwhile the Teamsters, led by Mickey J. (Brian Dennehy), buy sandwiches for the crew once a year from a secret deli in Brooklyn. When Tracy, Frank, and Lutz eat Liz’s sandwich, her over-the-top reaction forces them to plead with the teamsters to get her another sandwich. They only way they’ll do this is if they lose in a drinking contest. They initially enlist Jenna to go up along against them, but when Frank, Tracy, and Kenneth become available to help, the Teamsters are defeated. Floyd comes into town and asks Liz if he can stay with her while in town. Liz puts her best foot forward to dress nice and have fun with Floyd to make him regret not being with her. However when his flight is delayed he returns and sees her again at her worst, questioning him about the female who answered the phone when she called once. He leaves claiming that he got a flight back to Cleveland, but she later finds him in the park. Despite her anger that he lied to her, Liz tracks him down at the airport and, after scarfing down her sandwich to get past security, she and Floyd agree to be friends, and Liz lets him keep her apartment key. 3/21/16

• 036. Cooter – 5/8/2008
  • Jack begins his new job with Homeland Security and meets his boss James Reilly, who has been nicknamed Cooter Burger (Matthew Broderick) by the President. Jack sees inefficiencies everywhere and soon wins the admiration of Cooter when Jack spearheads an initiative to get pens for the office. However when Jack hears that Don Geiss has uttered Jack’s name while in his coma, Jack tries to quit. Cooter will not let him, and confesses that he has tried to quit for two years but hasn’t been allowed. Jack gets the idea to dig up the ‘gay bomb’, an old initiative that was meant to turn soldiers gay. Jack enlists the help of C.C. to get this approved, which Jack and Cooter hope will get them both fired. Meanwhile Liz takes a pregnancy test and finds out she is pregnant with Dennis’s baby. He finds out and worms his way back into her life. Despite this and the fact that Jack is away and she has no one to talk to, she becomes excited about this. Then she finds out that she actually had a false positive reading due to the Sabor de Soledad cheese puff she’s been eating, which contain bull semen. Jack tries to submit his application to be an NBC page at the upcoming Olympics in Beijing, but his nemesis Donny tries to trick him into submitting late. At the last minute Jack submits his application Olympic style after several diversions from Donny. Tracy puts the finishing touches on his porn video game Goregasm: The Legend of Dong Slayer using Grizz and Jenna as voice-overs. Tracy presents Frank with the first copy of the game. Three months later Cooter spills the gay-bomb solution at the Pentagon, causing everyone in the room including Dick Cheney to ‘feel funny,’ Kenneth is having an affair with a Chinese girl (Ming Zhao) when a gunman enters the room, and Frank emerges with a full beard after just finishing playing Tracy’s porn game. 3/22/16

SEASON 3

• 037. Do-Over – 10/30/2008
  • Jack returns from Washington D.C. with his sights on getting his old job back, even though it means starting in the mail room. He inches is way back up with hourly promotions, but feels that the real key will be sleeping with Kathy Geiss. As Devon’s ideas start get even more and more wackier, including a two-year shutdown of G.E., this becomes more imperative for Jack. Meanwhile Liz makes an appointment with adoption agent Bev (Megan Mullally), who wants to see Liz’s work environment. Jenna is upset that Tracy is getting massive royalty checks for his porn game, but not giving anything to those who contributed. Liz convinces Tracy to buy gifts for everyone who helped, but he only gives Jenna a coupon for free hugs, prompting her to threaten to sue. Despite Liz’s warnings for everyone to be on their best behavior, Bev sees only the worst possible situations, and is finally tackled by Kathy, who thinks that Jack is flirting with her, and hit in the head by the gold nunchucks that Jenna gave Frank, which ultimately gives her amnesia. This gives Liz a chance for a do-over, and she takes Bev around NBC once again, finally winning her over with an impassioned speech. However Bev then forgets the entire day, so Liz sends her on to the hospital and starts to look for a new adoption agency. Liz stops Jack from sleeping with Kathy at the last minute, and they invoke a scene straight out of a soap opera, which wins Kathy over and puts Jack back in his original desk. Devon, realizing he has been beaten, throws himself in front of Tracy’s car in hopes of suing him. When Tracy tells him he is already being sued, Devon picks another car. Gano Grills is Fred. 6/24/16

• 038. Believe in the Stars – 11/6/2008
  • Liz takes a flight to Chicago for jury duty, and Jack gives her a powerful sedative for the plane ride. When she ends up sitting next to Oprah Winfrey (herself), she slurs her way through telling Oprah her life story. Meanwhile Tracy counter-sues Jenna for defamation of character. When the Human Resource arbitrator Jeffrey Weinerslav (Todd Buonopane) gets nowhere, Tracy and Jenna argue whether it is easier to be a white woman or black male in society – prompting each to dress as such for a social experiment. Oprah gets chummy with Liz and promises to come back to NBC and settle the dispute between Jenna and Tracy. Kenneth is highly disappointed in Jack when he finds out that NBC faked several Olympic sporting events to boost ratings, including Tetherball, which has caused the silver medalist Tyler Brody (Remy Auberjonois) to threaten to expose the fraud since he wasn’t chosen as the gold medalist. Jack buys him off by promising him a role in the movie version of Knight Rider, but can’t get Kenneth’s respect back. Jack tries to prove that Kenneth’s moral compass might not be perfect, but he nearly fails when Kenneth offers to kill himself in orders to save others on a stuck elevator, but ultimately Kenneth fails the test when Jack gives him a new TV… and the opportunity to steal cable. When Oprah shows up, it is not really Oprah, but a middle school class officer named Pam (Raven Goodwin), whom Liz mistook for Oprah all through the flight. Nevertheless Pam is able to bring harmony back to Tracy and Jenna. Tijuana Ricks is the flight attendant. 6/24/16

• 039. The One with the Cast of ‘Night Court’ – 11/13/2008
  • Liz and Jenna’s former roommate from Chicago, Claire Harper (Jennifer Aniston), whom was always too wild for them, comes for a New York visit and quickly hooks up with Jack who immediately sleeps with her. Despite Liz’s warnings that she is over-the-top crazy, Jack continues to see her. Claire interrupts a dinner party being thrown for Mi Au (Ako), an alternative energy company owner from Asia about whom NBC is doing a reality series, by singing a sexy version of Happy Birthday to Jack, regardless of the fact that it is not his birthday… then threatens suicide if Jack leaves her. Liz agrees to help him out of the situation by keeping Claire busy, but Claire figures out the ruse and sleeps with Jack again. Eventually Liz vows not to get involved again, which takes the thrill out of it for Claire, who hands Jack a gun she stole from a policeman and gets him arrested. Meanwhile Kenneth is so upset by his new page uniform that Tracy arranges to have original cast members from the sitcom Night Court, Harry Anderson (himself), Markie Post (herself), and Charles Robinson (himself), film a proper finale. Plans are nearly derailed by Harry and Markie bickering, and finally shut down by Liz, but not before Harry and Markie’s characters are declared legally married… and the new page uniforms are declared illegal by Harry’s character Judge Harry T. Stone. Jenna reveals that she had played character werewolf public defender Sparky Monroe in a three-episode arc that caused the show to ‘jump the shark’. 9/15/16

• 040. Gavin Volure –  11/20/2008
  • At a fancy party thrown by Gavin Volure (Steve Martin), the CEO of SunStream whom Jack greatly admires and who has become agoraphobic that refuses to leave his home, Volure is taken by Liz and asks her to return to his house for a date. Liz is thrilled at the prospect of a relationship with no sex and never having to leave the house. Gavin also allows Jack to buy into a lucrative deal, and Jack also tries to do a favor for Kenneth and invests his money as well. During his date with Liz, Gavin confesses that his valet Carl (Zachary James) is actually a U.S. Marshall, and that he isn’t germaphobe, but actually on house arrest for tax fraud. He tries to escape but is captured, and later confesses to Jack that he defrauded him as well. Meanwhile Tracy gets scared by the way his kids are staring at him and after seeing the fate of the Melendez parents, he becomes scared that they are plotting to kill him. He uses the sex doll modeled after him to fool the kids, but then find out from Tracy Jr. (Bobb’e J. Thompson) they are just checking on him because they are worried he is going to leave them. Pete looks to appoint a floor emergency marshal. Jack tries to pay back Kenneth the money he lost for him, but Kenneth refuses the money. However when Pete makes Kenneth the marshal, Jack insists that it comes with a signing bonus to make up for Kenneth’s loss. Liz and Jack discover Gavin painting the set, and Gavin threatens to jump from the scaffolds when Liz won’t leave with him. However Tracy tackles and captures him, while Gavin thinks Tracy is still on the floor when it’s actually the sex doll. John McEnroe appears as himself at Gavin’s dinner. Victor Cruz is a grip. 9/15/16

• 041. Reunion – 12/4/2008
  • Don Geiss wakes up from his coma, but instead of appointing Jack as C.E.O., he decides to stay on himself. Meanwhile Liz is talked into attending her high school reunion in White Haven, Pennsylvania, despite worrying about how everyone saw her as a nerd. Jack accompanies her there on a rented jet, and then is forced to stay himself when a snowstorm snows them in. Much to Liz’s surprise, she finds that her classmates saw her as a bully instead of nerd. Although she remembers that a young Kelsey Winthrop (Nicole Patrick) terrorized her, she finds from Kelsey (Robyn Lively) that it was the other way around. Other students Erin (Diane Neal) and Rob Sussman (Steve Witting) confirm this. Jack mopes through the reunion until a former student named Keith (Jason Kravits) recognizes him as student Larry Braverman, which is confirmed by Larry’s ex-girlfriend Jessica (Janel Moloney). The class plans to ‘Carrie’ Liz by dumping blood on her, but Jack – as Larry – steps in and says that Liz is really a good person and only used insults as a defense mechanism. However the class turns on them both when Jessica introduces her son as being Jack’s, forcing him to reveal his true identity. Back at NBC, Tracy is upset that Kenneth is getting more laughs in the elevator so plants Grizz and Dotcom to laugh at Tracy’s jokes. When that fails, he enlists Jenna’s help, and the two of them end up performing the duties of a page in order to prove the point to Kenneth, who breaks down with an apology, as he had no idea what he was doing. 12/7/16

• 042. Christmas Special – 12/11/2008
  • While Liz has taken it upon herself to pass out needy kids’ letters to Santa, Jack is in Florida visiting his mother for an early Christmas and then heading to Rio. He backs into her accidentally with his car but then waits eight minutes before calling 911, resulting in him having to cancel his trip and bring his mother, now with a broken hip, back to New York. Liz buys expensive gifts for her letter-writers and delivers them in person, but is furious when she finds two grown men who snatch up the gifts and slam the door in her face. Convinced that it was a con job, she looks for any recourse she can, and ultimately returns with Kenneth and Tracy, this time finding the two children, Marcus and Deshante Glover (Eshaya Draper) at the apartment. However she still manages to spoil things by telling them that she bought the gifts, crushing their belief in Santa. Jack orders the entire crew to put together a last-minute Christmas Eve special together so that he has an excuse to stay away from his mother, whose other hip he has now accidentally broken. She shows up at the studio as the special airs, questioning him about the eight minutes it took to call 911. With Liz’s help, Jack finally realizes that his mother had gone to great lengths to give Jack a happy Christmas, including sleeping with FAO Schwartz. Jenna sings The Christmas Song on the special, and the song continues with Jack and his mother on the piano at home. Nilaja Sun is Irene. 12/8/16

• 043. Señor Macho Solo – 1/8/2009
  • Jack hires a nurse named Elisa Padriera (Salma Hayek) to take care of his mother. While on a date, Jack discovers a lump in his testicle and Elisa checks it out for him. Subsequently Jack falls in love with her while waiting for the results of his test. Although the test results come back negative, he still returns to Elisa and gives her a passionate kiss. Meanwhile Liz, suffering from baby fever while waiting to adopt, strokes the head of a boy on the street, who turns out to actually be a dwarf named Stewart (Peter Dinklage) who works for the United Nations. In order to avoid the awkwardness, Liz feigns interest and agrees to go out with him, but when he catches her being protective of him like a child, he breaks it off. Liz suggests via phone that if he changes his mind, they meet at the Brooklyn Bridge, and although they both show up, Liz mistakes another child for him and he storms off. Jenna lobbies to play Janice Joplin in a biopic being planned by Sheinhardt Universal, but finds out on Access Hollywood from hosts Billy Bush (himself) and Nancy O’Dell (herself) that a rival biopic is being made by Martin Scorsese starring Julia Roberts. Nevertheless Jenna performs on TGS as Janet Jopler until Jack can get the rights to her life secured. Tracy is blowing money left and right out of fear that his wife Angie will leave him if he makes enough where she can live off of half, so Jack arranges for her to sign a post-nup, but Tracy pulls the plug and their passion is kindled when she says she’ll sign… but will be with him until death do them part. Chloe Brooks is Jack’s date. 3/19/17

• 044. Flu Shot – 1/15/2009
  • Liz prepares for her vacation in St. Bartleby’s, and desperately hopes to avoid getting the flu, which the entire staff seems to have gotten. However when she finds out that her trip has been cancelled, she proudly refuses the flu shot which Jack is rationing for only the ‘important’ people to get. This gesture wins the favor of the crew, but when she finds out that her trip is back on, she runs to Dr. Spaceman to get the shot. When the crew finds out, they rebel against her again. Meanwhile Jack is trying to get time with Elisa, who works seven days a week, much of which is spent with vegetative patient Douglas Templeton (George Bartenieff). At first Jack visits her when she is with this patient, but soon they start taking him on dates with them. When Templeton’s son Michael (Scott Bryce) comes for a visit, Templeton suddenly begins talking about Jack and the dates he’s been on. His son thinks his father’s words are delusional, and Jack talks the elder Templeton from talking about it anymore. Jenna and Tracy feel guilty about having received the flu shot while the crew suffers, so they attempt to go get them soup, but end up just shopping for themselves. They then try and give the gift of laughter to the crew by dressing as clowns. Joseph D’Onofrio is Dave. Jimmy Palumbo is Matt Dowd. Peter Gray Lewis is Bobby. 3/19/17
• 045. Retreat to Move Forward – 1/22/2009
  • Liz agrees to accompany Jack to a Six Sigma retreat in Croton-on-Hudson, where Jack warns her that they cannot appear to be friends in front of the stuffy Six Sigmas. Liz is relegated to hang out with lower level executives Joan (Cheryl Lynn Bowers) and Prashant (Shalin Agarwal), but neverthless works her way onto one of Jack’s team-building teams and helps them win, celebrating inappropriately.. causing Charles (Mark La Mura), the head Six Sigma to bash Jack for allowing her to behave that way. When Jack later makes a speech, and while fully mic’ed, makes a fool of himself as he psyches himself up, Liz diverts their attention by ripping her top off. Jack is extremely grateful, but she is banned from further retreats. Meanwhile Jenna researches Janis Joplin for an upcoming biopic, but falls prey to Frank’s prank of updating the Wikipedia page with erroneous information. When he admits what he did to stop Jenna from eating a live cat, she yells at him, which turns him on and they sleep together. He warns her not to tell anyone, but she can’t understand why it is him who is embarrassed and not her. Kenneth worries about Tracy’s diabetic tendencies and tries to get him to eat better under threat of being attacked by the ‘hill witch’. Jenna discovers why Frank wanted to keep their affair a secret, when scorned women come from everywhere when they find out, including Jenna’s hairdresser Katie (Elizabeth Rouse), who leaves her hair in a terrible state… which frightens Tracy, and finally believes in the hill witch and agrees to eat better. Lola Pashalinski is Euzubia the cleaning lady. Brian Berebbi is Dave. 9/24/17
• 046. Generalissimo – 2/5/2009
  • Jack can’t figure out why Elisa’s grandmother Concepcion (Teresa Yenque) doesn’t seem to like him until he realizes that an evil character, the Generalissimo, on her favorite Spanish soap opera Los Amantes Clandestinos looks exactly like him. Jack buys the show and puts it on NBC with order to have the character killed off but the actor Hector Moreda (Alec Baldwin) refuses to die onscreen, opting instead to help Jack by falling in love onscreen with an elderly Spanish woman. Concepcion now accepts Jack but asks that he make the news much happier… much to Matt Lauer‘s (himself) displeasure. Meanwhile Liz falls in love with her new neighbor Dr. Drew Baird (Jon Hamm) sight unseen when she gets his mail. She tries to follow the character of the Generalissimo to make him love her, but ends up accidentally slipping him a roofie. He also finds out that she had stolen his mail, and they break it off… but later after he receives her mail and sees how much they have in common, they decide to try again. Tracy parties with a group of young white interns (Patrick Heusinger, Greg Tuculescu, Doug Mand) and has a hard time keeping up with their antics. He gets rid of them by buying a firm for them to work at. Howard Feller is Oswald. 9/24/17
• 047. St. Valentine’s Day – 2/12/2009
  • Liz makes a date with Drew, not realizing that it is on Valentine’s Day. To alleviate the pressure, she makes stew for him at her place, but their relationship behaviors begin to advance quickly when her breast falls out, she is caught on the toilet after too much soup, Drew’s ex-wife drops off his pyromaniac daughter Bethany (Allie Trimm) off at Liz’s apartment, and Liz has to accompany Drew to visit hid dying mother (Marylouise Burke), where she insulted by his sister Gloria (Laila Robins), and is left in the room while she dies, but not before she reveals to Liz that Drew’s sister is really his mother. Meanwhile Jack wants to take Elisa to a fancy restaurant called Plunder, which serves a $1000 dessert, the only dessert that Jack feels tops the McFlurry. Elisa however insists on attending a Catholic church service, which goes on too long. Jack agrees to go to confession, where his numerous iniquities cause the priest (Zak Orth) to run fleeing from the church. Elisa breaks it off with Jack, who goes to Plunder alone, but can’t enjoy the dessert. Elisa finds a McFlurry coupon in the collection plate and follows it to McDonald’s where she finds Jack and they reconcile. Kenneth has a crush on a blind intern named Jennifer Rogers (Maria Thayer), but is too nervous to talk to her. Tracy uses is voice to accompany Jack on the date – which is actually held at NBC – but eventually Kenneth must admit the truth. Jennifer finds Kenneth beautiful inside, but abandons the date once she feels his face. Al Espinosa is the priest. Karen Pittman is the nurse. Michael Carnonaro is the waiter. 4/24/18
• 048. Larry King – 2/26/2009
  • Tracy does an interview on Larry King Live, and after describing the entire plot of the movie Teen Wolf, he is asked to comment on the current news story of an Asian stock plummet. His viewpoints are disastrous and induce panic all over New York City. When he mentions that he hides a lot of his cash at work, the writers begin looking for it all over NBC. Meanwhile a cab driver named Asif (Ajay Naidu) finds Liz’s phone in his cab, and blackmails her that he’ll send a nude he found on it to all of her friends. She heads to find him and pay the ransom, with Kenneth joining her with the stipulation that he go as a ‘friend’ and not merely a page. She lies to him and tells him that she wants to retrieve a message from her grandmother singing her 99 Luftballoons. With the chaos surrounding them due to the stock panic, Kenneth wants to turn back, so Liz tells him the truth… and also reveals that they are not friends. When Liz reaches Asif, she cannot pay since her money was stolen by looters. Kenneth shows up to rescue her, and realizing from the clues Tracy is giving on TV, that his money is sewn up in his page jacket. This allows him to pay off Asif and Liz retrieves her phone. Jack promises Elisa an uninterrupted vacation, but when news of the stock panic spreads, Jack is forced back to work. But a message from Don Geiss indicates that only love matters in a case like this, so he returns to Elisa and proposes. Although she accepts, she then tells Jack that she is heading home to Puerto Rico for the summer to think about things, suspecting that Jack asked her to marry him in a moment of panic. Meredith Vieira appears as herself. Brian Berrebbi is Reynolds. James Cronin is Bill Hewitt. 4/24/18
• 049. Goodbye, My Friend – 3/5/2009
  • Liz is trying to mull through the red tape that will enable her to adopt a baby, Jack is trying to stay loyal to Elisa so is looking for something to do on a Friday night that doesn’t involve women, and Kenneth discovers that no one knows when Tracy’s birthday is – not even Tracy. Liz meets a pregnant young girl named Becca (Phoebe Stroll) who is struggling with her boyfriend Ken (Christopher Nicholas Smith) and contemplating giving the baby up for adoption. Liz plots to be the one to get the baby, and ultimately offers Becca a job at NBC. However she feels guilty when she tries to stop Ken from seeing Becca, and ultimately facilitates getting them back together. Jack turns to the TGS writers to hang out with and they all end up watching an old video of the film Harry and the Hendersons. Jack realizes that he has something in common with Frank: they were both abandoned by their fathers. Jack offers to help Frank get back into law school, so that he can follow in his father’s footsteps. Frank gets cleaned up and is ready to begin, and takes Jack to his mother Sylvia’s (Patti LuPone) house to give her the good news. She seems thrilled, but then when Frank is out of the room, she slaps Jack and tells him to that Frank’s father and grandfathers were all lawyers for the mob, and that she wants anything but Frank following in those footsteps. Jack is forced to send Frank back to work as a writer, treating much as John Lithgow had to treat Harry in the movie. With Jenna’s birthday coming up, Kenneth decides to throw a joint party for her and Tracy. In order to get the attention back on her, she fakes being injured in a wheelchair, but no one seems to care. When she finally gets fed up and give up the act, Tracy tells her that his birthday wish was for her to be fully recovered, which satisfies her need for attention. John Lithgow (himself) stops by the studio looking for the Sci-Fi network. 12/17/18
• 050. The Funcooker – 3/12/2009
  • Liz feels like she’s getting her life organized when she buys new plastic containers for her home, but that is cut short when she is hit by a bike rider on the street. Things get even worse when she is summoned to jury duty and tries to get her team to carry on without incident in her absence. When dressing up like Princess Leia doesn’t get her out of jury, she sits in on a case involving a woman named Rochelle Gaulke (Jackie Hoffman), a retail worker who burned down her business when her workers drove her crazy. Meanwhile Jenna and Tracy are in trouble because they hosted a St. Patrick’s Day parade and Jenna fell asleep, followed by Tracy cussing at her. Jenna, being torn between her movie role and TV show, visits Dr. Spaceman for advice and he gives her an anti-sleeping pill that he is testing in lab rats. Tracy realizes that he can get away with cussing on air by simply paying the fine, and when sponsors start to pull out, he buys up the advertising air time himself. Jack is trying to market a pocket-sized microwave and challenges Liz’s crew to come up with a suitable name that doesn’t offend anyone. Eventually Kenneth comes up with the ‘funcooker’, but this must be scrapped when Tracy demonstrates his version of his ‘funcooker’ by pulling his pants down on the air, just as Liz returns. Adding to the chaos, Dr. Spaceman realizes his lab rats are dying and tries to knock out Jenna on the air so she can sleep and not die. Liz brings her crew into an office and briefly considers burning it down, then reconsiders and tosses the lit match aside… starting a fire that the fire department has to put out. Jack informs Liz that the crew is now terrified of her. All of Liz’s containers melt in the fire.  Nolan Carley is Mr. O’Cannon. Andrew Polk is director Steven Spielberger. James Saba is the prosecutor. Celisse Henderson is the court officer. Rich Zahn is the judge. 12/20/18 
• 051. The Bubble – 3/19/2009
  • Liz notices that Drew is treated differently and can seemingly get away with anything because of his good looks. However she also realizes that he really isn’t good at anything, including tennis, cooking, drawing, and lovemaking. Jack explains the concept of living in a ‘bubble’ when you’re good looking, bragging that he used to be one of them when he was in his 20’s. She gets up the courage to make him aware of this and he decides that he wants to be treated like a normal person. However when she destroys him in tennis, he throws a tantrum and admits that he likes living inside of his bubble. Meanwhile Tracy’s contract is up, and Jack makes the mistake of mentioning that Tracy really doesn’t have to work, which causing him to promptly quit. Jack tries desperately to get him back, even enlisting the help of Tracy’s sons Tracy Jr. and George Foreman (Jalani McNair). Jack orders Kenneth to stop acting as Tracy’s assistant in order to get him back, but when Kenneth can’t go through with it, Jack tells Kenneth he will have to let him go. This is what finally makes Tracy reconsider. Jenna comes up with the idea to cut her hair and donate it live on The Today Show, but when host Meredith Vieira (herself) informs her on the air that Tracy had quit, she abandons the notion in mid-cut. Calvin Klein appears as himself offering Drew a job on the street. Hairstylist Richard F. Esposito appears as himself in Jenna’s focus group. Godfrey is Rick. Catherine Curtin is the waitress. Susan Jeffries is the tennis player admiring Drew. Frank Ridley is the traffic cop. 12/16/19
• 052. Apollo, Apollo – 3/26/2009
  • It’s Jack’s 50th birthday and he crows because he’s nearly completed his life’s bucket list, except for befriending Batman. He solves that by inviting Adam West (himself) to his birthday celebration, but when West refers to him as ‘Jake Dellahee’, Jack realizes that he’s not happy. Looking back at old home birthday movies of his younger self (Dylan Clark Marshall), he sees that his gift made him so happy he threw up. He tries to figure out what the gift was by bringing in Ephraim (Theo Stockman) from tech support, Jimmy (Mark Lotito) who gave him the gift, and a deaf girl named Wendy (Leslie Meisel) who reads his lips before he realizes that it is an Apollo Lunar Model. Meanwhile Tracy has held a press conference and asks to pay 30 million dollars for someone to take him to outer space. Jack steps up and simulates a trip for him, making him believe his helicopter took him to Florida, but actually took him back to the studio where the trip into space is created for him using TV special effects. Dennis Duffy returns to offer Liz his apologies because he is a sex addict. She also takes a call on Jenna’s phone while Jenna is suspended rehearsing a Peter Pan sketch, and hears Duffy apologize to her as well. Although Jenna slept with him, Liz decides she won’t allow Dennis to come between them and start trouble. However when she finds out that they had sex in her bed, she purposely fails to tell Jenna that her harness is loose, causing Jenna to fall and break her leg. Liz apologizes by allowing Jenn to reveal that Liz once performed in commercials as a sex phone operator named Bijou. This causes Jack to laugh so hard that he throws up again, restoring himself to true happiness that the Apollo couldn’t bring to him. It is also revealed that Kenneth sees everyone as Muppets – performed by Matt Vogel, Carmen Osbahr, and Joey Mazzarino. Timothy Mandala is Mark, who helps Jenna fly. 4/1/20
• 053. Cutbacks – 4/9/2009
  • Although they’ve just celebrated their 50th episode, Liz and her team are delivered the news form Jack that their division is going through cutbacks and that a consultant named Brad Halster (Roger Bart) will be overseeing their 25% cut. Liz tries to impress him with clips from the show, but he is unfazed. She then turns to sexual bartering and asks him out on a date, inviting him up and offering to make out with her and let him have access to her upper frontal quadrant. He takes her up on that, but when she returns to work the next day, she finds that the writer’s room has been taken over the Telemundo news team and announcer (Lucio Fernandez). When she mentions their ‘deal’ to him, he breaks down crying and files a sexual harassment charge against her. Human Resource arbitrator Jeffrey suspends her for thirty days, but since Brad would be too distraught to return to work with her, Jack is placed in charge of her cutbacks. Meanwhile Jonathan is laid off, and Kenneth had to work double duty as a page and Jack’s assistant. Too busy to go home to feed his bird Sonny Crockett, he sends Tracy, but warns him not to enter his room. Naturally Tracy thinks it is because he is a serial killer and enlists Jenna to sneak into Matthew’s apartment to search his room. When they go in, they find a bug bomb that is going off… and ends up killing Sonny Crockett. In order to make it up to Kenneth, they fill his apartments with birds. Don Pardo is Sid. Peggy J. Scott is Cheryl. Todd Davis is Matthew. Alan Muraoka is Steven Lee (billed as Paul in the credits), a Microwaves associate slated for firing. Frank Stellato is a crying executive. 8/27/19
• 054. Jackie Jormp-Jomp – 4/16/2009
  • Jenna’s biopic on Janis Joplin has transformed into a loose adaptation of her life and the main character being christened Jacki Jormp-Jomp. Jack wants her to get some publicity so the film will do well, so he accompanies her to the Kid’s Choice Awards, where the In Memoriam tribute lists her as dead. Jack think it will be good to go with that in order to generate publicity, so they host a tribute in her honor on the show. Meanwhile Liz is still off work in taking the sexual harassment classes, but is so bored that she begins striking up conversations with the doorman and doorwoman in her apartment. She then meets another tenant named Emily (Elizabeth Marvel) who shows her how enjoyable it can be to have nothing important to do but work out and pamper yourself. She introduces Liz to her other friends Erin (Mary Catherine Garrison), Lyle (Kerry Butler), and Jenny (Christina Gausas), and soon Liz has no desire to return to work. In fact, she purposely sexually harasses her instructor Jeffrey so she can get suspended again. However things go sour with her new friends when shFgae realizes she is actually in a Fight Club. When the entire office is forced to review the rules of sexual harassment in the workplace, Kenneth discloses that he plans to marry once of Tracy’s dancers Daphne (Danielle Flora), despite never having spoke to her. His dreams go up in smoke when he finds out that Dotcom is already dating her. The feud between them forces Tracy to fire Daphne, which causes all of the other dancers to boycott the show. Tracy hires all men to dress as women and take their place. During the show Tracy pays tribute to the late Jenna, with the male dancers providing entertainment. But when Jenna sees that her memoriam poster reveals her true 1969 birth date, she makes a surprise appearance on the show to sing a song. Liz returns to work and disciplines Jenna and Tracy for their antics, all the while wearing a huge smile on her face. At the Awards show, Jonah Bob is Ethan, and Jake Goldberg is Connor. 4/2/20
• 055. The Ones – 4/23/2009
  • Jack finally buys an engagement ring for Elisa, but the salesman (Guy Adkins) mistakes Liz for the future bride and tries to talk him out of it… until he shows him her picture. Elisa confides in Lemon that she doesn’t think she should be married because of a dark secret, and asks her to deliver the news to Jack. Before she can, Elisa changes her mind and accepts the proposal. However the cleaning lady (Ana Maria Jomolca) recognizes Elisa and identifies her as the ‘black widow’. Elisa confesses she once killed a former husband in a jealous rage, but couldn’t get an impartial jury to convict her. Jack decides to move forward with the marriage and has Tracy take him out to test his ability to be faithful. Tracy is looking for a birthday gift for his wife and Liz suggests that he ask her what she wants. Her desire is for him to get a tattoo of her face with the word ‘Angie’ inscribed under it. Tracy is naturally against this as it will hurt his chances with the ladies. Dot Com suggests that he could always adapt it when he goes out to a lioness with the name ‘TAngiers’. While Jack and Tracy are resisting the temptations of a beautiful seductress (Maryam Basir), Tracy confesses to Jack that he has actually never once cheated on his wife. He has been giving the wrong number to women for all of these years, with one of the calls going to news anchor Brian Williams (himself). Jack decides that he will never commit infidelity and goes to Liz’s house at 4am to share the news. It turns out that Elisa has been following him all night, and she confesses that she simply loves too much. In light of this, Jack decides they shouldn’t be married and calls off the engagement and they part amicably. Meanwhile the writers play a trick on Lutz by putting a live mouse in a box of donuts, causing him to run away and run his head into the wall. When EMTs Roger (Josh Casaubon) and Hank (Michael Nathanson) show up for his head injury, Jenna flirts with Roger but never catches his name. Based on a tip from Pete, Jenna decides to make the EMTs return by spiking Kenneth’s food from strawberries, which he has a sever allergy to, but when two female EMTs (J. Elaine Marcos, Laura Michelle Smith) show up instead. The next time she tries this, the EMT Gabe (Andrew Stewart-Jones) acts as if he is going to saw Kenneth’s hands off so he can’t eat strawberries again. It turns out to be a joke from the writers, who now refer to themselves as the Pranksmen. Jenna apologize to Kenneth, but in the name of love, he takes another dose of strawberries to get the EMTs back. The plan works, but it is all for naught as Roger has sole custody of his son which turns Jenna off. Tracy returns to work after their night out with the tattoo – but it is based on Dot Com’s TAngiers artwork. 7/14/20
• 056. The Natural Order – 4/30/2009
  • Liz is angry at Tracy because he is perpetually late to work, but when she finds out that everyone is telling it is a different time to get him to work on time, with Kenneth even changing his clocks form AM to PM, Tracy is equally as angry for the way he is being coddled. When he claims that Liz is a racist for doing so, sending a Gibbon monkey in his place to illustrate the point, she lashes back that it is his behavior that is causing them to have to treat him differently. He orders that she treat him like everyone else and she in turn orders him to be on time with all of his lines memorized. Tracy does exactly that, performing better than ever before, but also insists that Liz get no preferential treatment as a woman. This is put to the test when she is forced to change a water jug and douses herself. Meanwhile Jack becomes suspicious when his mother Colleen comes to town and brings along a man named Paul Brett (John Cunningham). He assumes that Paul is scamming her and hires his private investigator Lenny Wosniak to look into him. Paul comes up clean, but Jack finds out that he is married. He visits the apartment and gives Paul the speech that he had intended to give his father Jimmy for cheating on his mother and abandoning the family. When Colleen overhears it, she tells Jack that she knows full well he is married. She also tells Jack to get over his father, who left many times, one time being gone from the Spring of 1957 until he came home and took the family to see Some Like It Hot. Tracy continues holding Liz to the standard of a male boss by forcing her to endure the writing team’s farts and go out to a strip club with the guys for Lutz’s fake bachelor party. However she retaliates by telling Tracy that he can’t go along because he has to stay at work and go over the week’s script. Liz and Tracy each have such a miserable time that the call a truce and return things back to normal. Jenna has adopted the Gibbon as her own child and named it Little Jenna, buying it its own doll baby. When the head comes off the doll, the Gibbon attacks Jenna and attempts to mate with her face. Jack watches Some Like It Hot in his office, and when Liz comments on how easy it would have been to write plot twists back in 1959, Jack realizes that if his father was gone from the Spring of 1957 until the movie’s release, then Jimmy Donaghy is not his father. Semar Ghebremciahel and Nina Lafarga are TGS dancers. 7/14/20
• 057. Mamma Mia – 5/7/2009
  • Although Jack doesn’t seem interested in searching for his biological father, Liz persuades him to do so. He hires  Lenny Wosniak, who presents him with three possibilities of men that could be his father, and naturally Liz equates this to the plot of Mamma Mia. They invite all three men under the guise of winning a contest to see a taping of TGS, but of the men are discounted immediately: George Park (Clint Chin), because he is Korean, and Fred O’Dwyer (Stuart Margolin) because his genitals were blown off during the war. Professor Milton Greene (Alan Alda) seems a more likely candidate, but Jack immediately gets into an argument with him over his liberal values, so he discounts him before even revealing that he might be his father. While discussing illegitimate children with Jack, Tracy reveals that he has one of his own named Donald (Michael Benjamin Washington), who regularly shows up getting money from Tracy, his latest scheme to open his own dojo. Since Donald seems to be Tracy’s age, Liz and the others are suspicious of a scam, although they all admit they are unable to tell how old black people are. Lutz challenges him to a karate duel to see if he really is opening a dojo, and Donald destroys him. Cerie is able to obtain Donald’s birth certificate that reveals he is a year older than Tracy, but Tracy admits he already knew it was a scam, but that he had transformed Donald from a scam artist to a legitimate businessman. Meanwhile Jenna is awarded Time Out magazine’s funniest woman in New York, because of a catchphrase “That’s a deal breaker” that Liz wrote. Liz demands her full credit by appearing with her in the magazine photoshoot. Jenna warns Liz not to pose with props because they’ll pick the worst one to use. Liz has no problem using the props in hopes of a cover photo, and winds up getting what she wanted: a shot of her pooping out a rubber chicken over a toilet. Liz finally convinces Jack to put more effort into a relationship with his father, so Jack corroborates that he could actually be Milton’s son. Milton is especially excited because he needs a kidney donated from a family member. Keith Olbermann is himself as the sportscaster. Amy Schumer is the hairstylist. Clayton Dean Smith is the photographer. Ano Okera is the reporter. 10/29/20
• 058. Kidney Now! – 5/14/2009
  • Jack acknowledges that his kidney could save his biological father Milton Greene’s life, but hopes that he isn’t a match. Meanwhile Jenna is asked to go on the Vontella Show as a relationship expert because of the “deal breaker” catch phrase. Since Liz took credit for the line and appeared on the cover of Time Out magazine, Jenna asks her to go on with her. Once Vontella (Napiera Groves) fields questions from the audience, Jenna is lost, so Liz takes over and tells members of the audience when their relationship has reached the ‘deal breaker’ point. She is so successful that Tracy’s wife Angie and Pete’s wife Paula seek advice from Liz. When she tells them that they too are at ‘deal breaker’ points, it arouses the ire of both Tracy and Pete, who have good explanations for their behavior. This doesn’t stop her from meeting with her agent and agreeing to write a ‘Dealbreaker’ book. Tracy is asked to speak at his old high school graduation, but Tracy has too many bad memories of failing science class and never actually graduating. Kenneth convinces him to attend the ceremony by showing him an old gangster classmate who made good and now delivers food. When he speaks at the ceremony, Tracy is overwhelmingly accepted and is even presented with an honorary diploma. Jack and Milton visit Dr. Leo Spaceman, who after giggling his way through their problem, comes to the conclusion that Jack is not a kidney match for Leo. Jack calls in favors from his musical celebrity friends Elvis Costello (himself), Mary J. Blige (herself), Clay Aiken (himself), Sheryl Crow (herself), and Adam Levine (himself) to put on a benefit called Kidney Now! to help find a kidney for his father. On the show they perform as a supergroup and song called He Needs a Kidney. Talk show audience members include a gay man (Bobbi Blanski) and his female fiance (Helen Coxe), a young woman (Emalee Burditt) whose husband got promoted, and a tan woman (Kay Cannon). At the graduation ceremony, the principal is Capathia Jenkins, the gay kid is Donald Glover, and the white kid is Matt Ballinger. Singers of He Needs a Kidney portraying themselves are Michael Diamond aka Mike D, Adam Horovitz aka Ad-Rock – both of the Beastie Boys, Sara Bareilles, Mike Diamond, Steve Earle, Wyclef Jean, Norah Jones, Talib Kweli, Cyndi Lauper, Michael McDonald, Rhett Miller, Moby, Robert Randolph, and Rachael Yamagata. 10/30/20

SEASON 4

• 059. Season 4 – 10/15/2009
  • Jack takes the gang to the Season 4 restaurant, and tells the actors that they’ve lost touch with the common man and they need to get viewership up. Jenna offers to ‘go country’, so Jack has her record a theme song for NBC tennis called Tennis Night in America. Tracy is upset that he’s gotten so far away from his roots, that he tries to reconnect with the common man. It doesn’t work too well with the janitor Rolly (DK Bowser), so he once he figures out how to maneuver the elevator by himself, he takes to the streets to try to strike up random conversations. Liz and Pete reluctantly book some evenings at comedy clubs in order to scout fresh talent, but they want to keep it from the actors, so they sneak around. Frank questions whether they are having an affair, so that is what Liz admits to… but unfortunately she does it in front of Pete’s wife Paula. This forces her to reveal the truth to the writers, and prompts Josh to quit. Meanwhile, Kenneth is upset when Jack declares that the pages have to stop having overtime, and when the payroll guy (Matt Hubbard) accidentally delivers Jack’s bonus check to Kenneth, he is enraged further. Jack refuses to budge on the overtime, so Kenneth demands that he sign a piece of paper that states he’s a big ‘ol liar. He then organizes a strike with the other pages, which picks up momentum when some Santa Claus strikers join their cause, along with Tracy who wants to get to the roots of the bucket drummers who happen to be sitting nearby. When Jenna yells at Liz for not helping her with her tennis video, Liz tells her about the cast member, which gets Jenna to join the strike as well. Jack sends his lawyer Lenny in to infiltrate the strikers, but he can’t seem to make any headway. Jack still won’t budge, and threatens to end the page program… but Kenneth calls his bluff. Jack finally signs the piece of paper indicating he’s a ‘big ol’ liar,’ and Kenneth ends the strike. Although Maryellen (Maryellen Jarrell) the page questions what they got, Kenneth lies and tells her that the strike was not all about a personal vendetta against Jack. Liz Holtan is the blonde intern that once drove Jenna to pull out her earring. 2/18/21
• 060. Into the Crevasse – 10/22/2009
  • Liz’s book Dealbreakers has hit the bookstores, but Liz quickly finds out from a store clerk named Mike (Jon Glaser) that it’s not too popular with the men whom the women are attacking because of the book. Many of the guys at work have had issues with their wives, and Tracy has been thrown out of his house and insists on living with Liz. As he reads through the book further, he discovers that a good portion of the deal breakers are based on his life. Meanwhile Kenneth has decides to volunteer at an animal shelter, and Despite a warning from Jesse (Jason Jurman) at the shelter to not become too attached, Kenneth brings home every dog scheduled for euthanasia. Tracy adopts all of the dogs himself and brings them to Liz’s apartment to annoy her further. Jenna, still reeling from the announcement that Liz is looking for another performer, accepts a job offer to film a horror picture called Nightstalkers in Iceland. Unfortunately since it is only dark out for seconds every day, the director Shawn Connelly (Seth Kirschner) has to shut down production and send Jenna back home. Jack is summoned to Washington to testify in a task force on small appliances set up by the Obama administration. It turns out that his old nemesis Devon Banks is now working for the government, and has gathered enough dirt on Jack to embarrass him, and then plans to leak it to the public in order to force Jack out of his job. Jack brings in engineer Dinesh Mehta (Aalok Mehta) to work with the staff to design a better microwave, but by the time they are done with it, they’ve actually designed a car. With Jack and Liz both having problems, Jack relates a story of a time he fell down an ice bank and broke his leg. Unable to climb up, he went against his nature and lowered himself further into the crevasse, where he found his way out. He uses his own advice and agrees to take a bailout to save everyone’s jobs, even though it will mean having to answer to Banks in his government job. Liz also goes ‘low’ by agreeing to let Tracy use her life to produce a porno film. However once he sees the porn Liz (Savanna Samson), porn Jenna (Caitlin Fowler), and porn Jack (Shawn Gianella) in action, he pulls the plug. Jack is able to find the retainer that Liz lost during a trip to Washington while still in school. Subhas Ramsaywack is Subhas. 2/18/21
• 061. Stone Mountain – 10/29/2009
  • Liz has been looking for a new actor for T.G.S. in San Francisco, but Jack wants her to concentrate on middle America to find out what makes them laugh. She thinks that people are the same all over, but he takes the advise of Kenneth, who hails from Stone Mountain, Georgia, and decides that he and Liz need to go there together to scout talent. Meanwhile, Jenna is afraid that the new actor will get more attention from the writers, so she starts to exercise her authority over them by burning Sue’s script re-write. However, Kenneth warns her that she can get further with them by being nice, so she quickly changes her tune. They know what she is up to, so they decide to start bombarding her with practical jokes. But once they meet her gay friends Sacha (Blaine Horton), Michael, and Gay Michael, Frank learns from Cerie that the key to attending the best Halloween party with the hottest girls is to go to the gay parties. Jenna is happy to oblige combining their parties, but then Sacha tips her off as to why they are suddenly being nice. She uses the party as a way to lay out her demands when the new performer arrives in order to let the writers stay. Back in Stone Mountain, Liz has eaten a carp sandwich with extra chuckle that has made her desperately ill. Jack goes to the Laugh Factory alone, and ends up hiring ventriloquist Rick Wayne (Jeff Dunham) and his dummy Pumpkin (billed as Bubba J.). Liz thinks it is a mistake, so insists on accompanying Jack to the next show where she can heckle the act. When Rick and Pumpkin react extraordinarily disrespectfully, Jack realizes that middle Americans are no better than New Yorkers. He also attacks Pumpkin and rips its head off, throwing it to a blonde woman (Jack McBrayer) in the audience. Tracy hears about two minor celebrity deaths, and thanks to the ‘rule of three’, fears that he will be the third. He even phones Betty White (herself) to try and scare her, and then attempts to murder NBC talk show host Jimmy Fallon (himself). Because of this fear, Tracey refuses to join the gay party, until Kenneth gets word from home that Pumpkin has been ‘killed’, which frees Tracey to join the party after all. Jonathan Dickson is the TV newscaster. Nick Sullivan is the emcee. Melissa Wood is the attractive woman who works across the street. Carson Elrod is the Travis the desk receptionist. Jack McBrayer is the mustached man in the audience. 6/14/21
• 062. Audition Day – 11/5/2009
  • Liz has chosen a young comedian named Jayden Michael Tyler (Nick Fondulis) for the next cast member on TGS, but brings in a few decoys who Jack is sure to hate for the audition, to give the appearance that it is Jack’s decision. Jenna is panicked when she finds out that the auditions are going to be taking place, especially since she once worked with Jayden as a child (Matthew Schechter) and he was mean to her. However Liz had glowing reviews of Jayden from Martin Scorsese (providing his voice), Christopher Walken (providing his voice), and Gilbert Gottfried (providing his voice). Dotcom asks if he can audition, but Liz turns him down, then starts to feel bad when he hears him call his mother, so she lets him in. Frank hears about it and then he wants in, as does Brian Williams and Kathy Geiss. Jenna and Tracy sabotage things even further by gathering up gay actors and black actors to bring to the audition too.  Meanwhile, Jack is itching and is told by Kenneth that he has bedbugs. Everyone starts to ostracize him, including fellow executive Gordon Breckman (Michael Mulheren) who forces him to only communicate via Cisco conference call. Jack heads to the doctor, but the cab driver (Rob Morgan) won’t let him in either, so he has to take the subway. This treatment gives him a great deal of empathy, so he allows everyone who wants to audition the chance, so Liz and Pete are forced to listen to: Frank, Josh, crew man Anthony DeCicco (Joseph D’Onofrio), the old janitor (Stewart Steinberg), a black lady named Kolandra (Angela Grovey), Lutz and Toofer, Brian Williams, Dotcom, Kathy, street Robot Danny Baker (Daniel Genalo), and finally Jayden, who does impressions of Scorsese, Walken, and Gottfried. It turns out that he had called in his own recommendations, and is truly crazy after all. Liz wants to start from scratch, but Jack has made his decision. He wants to hire the robot man, the only person in New York who would shake the hands of a man with bedbugs. Ross Bickell is Keith Gold, the Australian Jackie Mason. David Perlman is the head gay guy. Gerard Giddiens, Robert Lucas, and Darryl Offley are the subway singers. 6/16/21
• 063. The Problem Solvers – 11/12/2009
  • The new cast member, street performer Jack Baker, whose named the other Jack quickly changes to Danny (Cheyenne Jackson). He quickly runs afoul of Kenny when he won’t let Kenny wait on him hand and foot. Meanwhile Jack and Liz have dinner together, where Jack proves that he knows how Liz will behave in any given scenario. He also tells her that there is interest in a Dealbreakers talk show, so she agrees to shoot a pilot with Jack. Jenna and Tracy advise Liz that she should be checking other offers instead of going with Jack right off the bat. Jenna and Tracy declare themselves to ‘the problem solvers’. Liz nervously tells Jack her plan, and he is clearly taken aback. She meets with Junior agent Simon Barrons (Josh Fadem) who had previously worked with animal clients. He tells Liz that he’ll get her an interview with Scottie Shofar (Shawn Levy), who produces a show called Sports Shouting starring four shouting sportswriters (Paul Carlin, Stink Fisher, Brian Distance, Jordan Leeds), but Simon also admits he doesn’t know Shofar. Meanwhile the Problem Solvers go to Danny to advise him to take advantage of Kenneth because he likes being treated poorly. Danny tells them that Kenneth could one day be running the network and he doesn’t want to rub anyone the wrong way. Tracy starts to get nervous that Kenneth could be his boss, so he tells him that he doesn’t want him to wait on him anymore. Liz finds out that Jack is moving forward with the Dealbreakers talk show, since it is the intellectual property of NBC, using the Top Chef host Padma Lakshmi (herself). Jack tells the Problem Solvers to tell Liz that if she wants to play, prepare to play hardball, which prompts Lemon to tell them to tell Jack that she will be suing NBC for the rights to Dealbreakers. Jack calls their bluff, since most of Simon’s firm’s clients are employed by NBC. Tracy says he can get Liz the interview with Scottie Shofar, but it becomes clear that Shofar is more interested in all of the celebrity phone calls that he gets when they meet… a doesn’t even notices when Liz catches her sleeve on fire. Likewise, Jack realizes he is not a business partner match with Padma when they meet. They both leave their meeting to rush to each other and agree to be partners. Kenneth freaks out when Jenna also tells him she doesn’t require his services any longer. He realizes that the change at the studio is Danny, so he goes up to Danny and reads him the riot act. Danny is so nervous about his show debut, that he yells back at Kenneth. He then realizes that the yelling caused him to lose his Canadian accent on the word ‘about’. Danny, Tracy, and Jenna all converge to tell Kenneth how great he is, and Kenneth tells them he’ll never stop taking care of them. He has even brought a pizza for Tracy. But when Tracy tells him that he actually wanted waffles, Kenneth opens the pizza box and reveals waffles. Ken Kensei is the Asian businessman. 10/12/21
• 064. Sun Tea – 11/19/2009
  • Liz’s apartments are converting to condos, and with the inevitable rent hike coming, she looks to Jack for advice as she doesn’t want to buy her apartment, but rather a larger space. Jack advises her to spend her Deal Breakers money and buy two condos, and to sniff around with her upstairs neighbor Brian (Nate Corddry) to see if he plans on staying. Meanwhile, Liz finds out that some of her writers are peeing in Sun Tea jars in the office and demands that they stop immediately. Jack is disturbed that Don Gleiss’s son Bertram (Tony Torn) is suing his sister Cathy for control of the family trust fund and decides he doesn’t want children. He talks to Tracy about it, and Tracy realizes that his Cosby Show family dream life never happened, and he decides he wants no more children either. When Liz goes to see Brian, he tells her that many have asked to buy him out, but he suggests that Liz move in with him since he can’t afford to stay. She agrees, with the plan to eventually drive him out and buy out his place. Jenna coaches Liz on how to be a drama queen to help her mission, but it doesn’t work when Brian turns out to be gay. She then decides to make Brian believe that she has an angry black boyfriend. Dot Com poses as one, but to her surprise, Brian knocks him out. Jack and Tracy decide to have vasectomies by Dr. Spaceman, but when Tracy goes under, he has a Cosby Show hallucination, and realizes his life was never like them because he never had girls. When Jack spends some time with Tracy Jr., Jack has second thoughts as well. He cancels his vasectomy and has Spaceman stop Tracy’s as well. Kenneth has been put in charge of reducing NBC’s carbon footprint, so he tells Liz she needs to get rid of her office refrigerator. She refuses but faces the wrath of Frank since she stopped him peeing in jars. Kenneth tells her that Frank was using his urine to fertilize a flower bed outside his window. Liz agrees to allow him to continue to do it so that she can keep her refrigerator. Liz also uses the idea, to allow Brian to catch her peeing in a large vase, which finally causes him to move out of the apartment. Kenneth runs into Vice President Al Gore (himself) who is acting as janitor and changing to fluorescent bulbs in the building. Rebecca Darke is Jenna’s neighbor Mrs. Gerstein. Kristin McGee and Ryan Watkinson are models in Liz’s exercise video. Alysia Reiner is the real estate agent. 10/12/21
• 065. Dealbreakers Talk Show #0001 – 12/3/2009
  • Liz is excited to produce her first episode of Dealbreakers, and she imagines her successful life married to her dream date Astronaut Mike Dexter (John Anderson). However, the fantasy is interrupted when Jenna’s niece drew her too fat in a card, and Tracy decides he wants a daughter so he handcuffs Liz to a shelf in order to force her to tell his wife. Liz makes Frank the new head writer while she works on the new show. Jack has a conversation with Devon, who tells Jack he’ll publicly flog him if Liz’s show loses any money. This causes Jack to lose confidence in the show, so he tries to get  Liz to change her appearance, but it winds up messing with her head. Tracy looks for a gift for Angie to convince her to have a daughter, but while shopping for jewelry he comes across an EGOT necklace, and the jeweler Yakov (Ali Reza Farahnakian) tells him that it belonged to actor Philip Michael Thomas. Tracy decides he wants an needs to win an Emmy, Grammy. Oscar, and Tony, so first he tackles writing a song. Angie agrees to give him a daughter if he wins the set. Liz gets laser eye surgery from Leo Spaceman and a haircut that looks terrible. Now Jack gets even more worried about the success of the show, and seeks advice from Jenna who tell him to coddle her. Liz shoots 510 takes of the opening titles of Dealbreakers, and Liz is horribly awkward and locks herself in her dressing room. Frank and the writers note that he is starting to behave and act exactly like Liz. Tracy and Jenna try to record a song using five styles of music, but it sounds terrible. Tracy goes to see Whoopi Goldberg (herself) for advice, and tells Tracy that he has to earn the award from the heart and not fake his way in. He tells her it is great advice and then tries to steal her awards. Liz talks to Jack into pulling the plug on the show, even though it might cause him to lose money. Instead, he just buys the rights to the lead-in, and then makes sure it shown in the background on every soap opera at the studio so that they will have to pay royalties to the project. Tracy sings his new song to Angie, and she is so impressed that she agrees to have a baby. Frank is so grateful that Liz is back that he embraces her. Peter Reckell and Kristian Alfonso are Bo and Hope Brady from Days of Our Lives. Amy Jachyra is the camera assistant. 4/10/22
• 066. Secret Santa – 12/10/2009
  • With Christmas coming up, Liz decides to add Jack to her shopping list, despite the warnings of Jonathan, who claims that Jack always winds the contest of gift-giving and she’ll never be able to live up to it. Meanwhile, Jenna refuses to contribute to Pete’s collection of money to buy the cleaning staff a gift, which annoys him. Although Danny hasn’t had any role in the show for the last two weeks, Pete overhears how well he can sing, so he tries to give him Jenna’s spot on the TGS Christmas show, but when Danny thinks that is contrary to the Christmas spirit, he then lets Danny share the spotlight with her and do a duet. Kenneth is organizing a complicated office Secret Santa event, but none of the writers want to participate so they tell him that they do not believe in Christmas because they are ‘Verdukian’ and then proceed to make up different odd rules for this religion. Tracey feels bad for Kenneth and reveals to him that they are making it up to get out of the gift exchange. Kenneth then loses his faith because he realizes how easy it is to simply make up a religion. When they try to confess, Kenneth continues to not believe in God, because a real god would have punished them for what they did to him. Tracey warns them that they’d better punish themselves. Jack joins a social media app knowns as YouFace, where he finds his first crush Nancy Donovan Doherty (Julianne Moore), with whom he starred in a school play called Oh, Beantown! back in Boston. She brings her kids to New York, having changed her relationship status with her husband to ‘working on it’. Jack starts to fall for her, but she has to leave, and he never gets a kiss goodbye. When Liz starts struggling with finding him a proper gift, Jack tries to make it easier by telling her that it has to be zero-value. He winds up getting her a framed ticket from one of her high school plays, framed with wood from the original stage where she performed it, plus she gets her a date with her childhood crush Larry Wilcox (himself). Nancy is unable to leave town due to issues at the train station, and she returns to see Jack and give him a proper kiss goodbye. Jack tells Liz he doesn’t even need a gift because Nancy has returned. She alludes to the fact that there may have been a bomb threat called in at the train station. Two police officers (Chris Fischer, Blaise Corrigan) show up and arrest Frank and Toofer since the bomb threat was called in on their phones. Lutz gets tased by the cops, all of which restores faith since he thinks they were punished by God. Jenna hires Subhas to punch Danny in the throat, and when he finds out, he is furious. However, Jenna tells him what a miserable experience her shoplifting mother made Christmas for her. When they get on air, he sings terrible on purpose, much to Pete’s disappointment. 4/11/22
• 067. Klaus and Greta – 1/14/2009
  • The team returns to work following the New Years break, catching each other on recent happenings. Jack had a New Years party and got sick from the odors of 2000 year old amphora of wine, and in his illness, he called and left a voice message for Nancy Donovan. He decides to take Kenneth with him to her house and try and retrieve the message. Liz spend the New Year with her family and helped her cousin Randy Lemon (Jeffrey Self) come out of the closet, by simply revealing to everyone that he is gay. Tracy impregnated his wife, and is sure it is going to be a girl. Jenna met James Franco‘s (himself) manager Richard (Adam Trese), who wants to hire Jenna to pretend to be Franco’s boyfriend for the tabloids, to allay suspicions that he is in love with his body pillow Kimiko. Jenna starts to fall for him and becomes hopeful when he gives her a big kiss when they depart after a date, but it turns out he thought he has spotted a member of the paparazzi. When Jack and Kenneth arrive at Nancy’s house, he discovers she doesn’t have an answering machine, but rather a voicemail. While Kenneth keeps taking pictures of himself with the computer’s camera, Jack tries to find the code to unlock the voicemail, and winds up finding clues everywhere that Nancy and her husband are separating and that they’ve taken separate vacations. Randy gets into a fight with his parents and comes to New York City, and asks Liz if he can stay with her. She tries to keep him from getting into trouble in the city, by having him stay with her and play games, but he winds up sneaking out after she goes to sleep and winds up coming home with makeup and the world ‘slut’ all over his face. Jack finds the voicemail code and listens to the message in which, he reminisces about the time she and he met in German class where he was known as Klaus. He decides to let her hear the voicemail, but Kenneth erases it thinking that no good will come of it since she would have called him already if she were interested. Liz offers to take Randy out for a night on the town, but he locks her in her closet so that he can go by himself. The next morning, Liz sees Matt Lauer interviewing Randy and his new lover Trent on the street announcing they are getting married. Tracy hits on a dancer named Virginia (April Perry), but then realizes that she is ‘someone’s daughter’ and stops himself. Jack realizes that Nancy’s phone code spells out KLAUS on the phone, and tells Jack that he must go after her. Jack calls her and makes a date to meet the next time she is in town. Liz tries to send Randy back home, but Randy says he’s not going to leave until he can make Liz appreciate her life in New York, so he decides to go out with her for real. Liz advises Jenna that she shouldn’t sacrifice her happiness on a relationship that isn’t real, so Jenna backs out of the deal with James Franco. At first he’s upset, but then he decides to own the fact that he’s in love with a body pillow. While Liz is out, she runs into James Franco and his pillow and they have a threesome. Kevin realizes it is probably time to go home. Tracy yells at his entourage for making insensitive to women, and the announces that he’s going to add a woman to his entourage. Preston Simpson is Liz’s Uncle Bill. Sherman Alper is the man at the Today Show. 8/7/22
• 068. Black Light Attack! – 1/14/2010
  • The TGS cast and crew have a black light party on the set. Jack has started coming to the parties since he has struck up with a friendship with Danny. Jack is intrigued with him because he is the most manly guy who has ever worked on the show. In fact, he is having an affair with someone on the show, which is a scenario Jack can relate to. The makeup from Danny’s various robot skits shows up heavily under the black lights. Jenna believes she’s been offered a role on Gossip Girl to play a freshman at N.Y.U. However, it is obvious to everyone else that she will be playing the girl’s mother. When she arrives on the set, she and the actress Archeria (Taylor Gildersleeve aka Taylor Black) who is playing the freshman both read the freshman dialogue at the same time, until the casting director (Jack Perry) tells her that she will be the mother… causing her to scream out loud. Tracy makes Sue LaRoche-Van der Hout the new female member of his entourage, but he babies her and doesn’t want to do anything offensive to her… which ultimately bores her. Kenneth explains that his impending fatherhood of a girl makes him more sensitive to how women should be treated. Troubled by her role as a mother, Jenna goes to Liz for comfort, and she compares the two paths of Meryl Streep and Madonna and asks Jenn who she’s rather emulate. Jenna naturally chooses Madonna and starts dressing in 80’s teenage gear. When Jack and Danny go to a hockey game, Danny’s description of his new lover sounds suspiciously like Liz. Jack shines a black light on Liz, and can see where Danny has groped her and left his makeup behind. Jack demands that Liz end things with Danny before it starts affecting the show. Liz tries to dump Danny, but when she sees him dressed in a CHiPs cop outfit, she calls him to her office for some making-out, and causing him to stand up Jack for dinner. Sue gets tired of the entourage and screams at Tracey and storms out…like a real daughter. Liz convinces Jenna to ‘come out’ as her real age, and in exchange, Liz will reveal her friend ‘Tom’ – a mustache she is able to grow in 48 hours. Tracey brings Sue back and tells him that he hopes one day a nice man will one day come and take his place and she will be happy. When Liz comes into the room with ‘Tom’, Tracey hands her over to ‘him’. In order to get Danny break to it off with Liz, he tells Danny that he is secretly in love with Liz, and describes all of her great attributes, including her mustache. Danny agrees to break it off immediately, and Liz can only tease Jack about what he said he liked about her. The crew has another black light party, where Lutz is the star attraction thanks to his dancing and the image of his breasts that the black light gives him. Dr. Sanjay Gupta is himself on TV. 8/8/22
• 069. Winter Madness – 1/21/2010
  • Liz and her staff are greatly affected by Seasonal Affective Disorder, which Kenneth refers to as Winter Madness. Jack is more upset by the fact that he and Nancy have decided to become nothing more than friends, although he fantasizes about her husband Mark dying. The next opportunity to see each other will be in five months when Nancy plans to come from Boston for her son’s graduation. Jack will be in Boston for his reunion of his Harvard Business School class on the exact same date. When Lutz makes everyone furious when he picks Subway for lunch, she and Pete cook up the idea to take the show on the road to Miami, Florida. Jack is all for the idea… but wants to go to Boston instead. The writers and staff are all disappointed, especially since they will all have to pair off in rooms, take a bus, and not have any sort of internet for porn. Tracy is even more worried because he always gets into trouble when traveling. They set up at the WBHD Boston affiliate studio, where the writers – all named Sean – for Bruins Beat don’t want them there and beat up on Kenny. Jack has perfectly replicated his office. Nancy shows up to see him and tells him that her husband Mark has moved out and gone to a new job New Orleans. Jack asks about divorce, but Nancy wants to sell their house before she can afford to live on her own. Jack goes to her place to help her fix a doorbell that keeps ringing to make the house easier to sell. He decides to buy the house himself, sending Kenneth and Cerie posing as Silas and Moronica Marymount-Peppercorn to make an offer. However, when Jack asks her how the open house went, she says she received no offers. Then she admits that she is using the sale of the house as a crutch to not start over at this point in her life. Tracy joins Liz on a Freedom Trail walking tour, thinking that he can’t get into trouble there. However, he picks a fight with the John Hancock look-alike Kenny (Kevin Meaney) since Hancock owned slaves. He scares away Paul Revere (Benjamin Magnuson). When Lutz chooses gas station for their food choice on his birthday, the crew starts blaming Liz for the miserable situation they’re in. Liz makes up an executive named Dale Snitterman, and claims everything is his fault, while she tries to stand up for them. It turns out there is a very real Dale Snitterman (Ray Bokhour) in the building, so the group attack him, and Lutz puts his stomach in Snitterman’s face. Tracey yells at the Hancock look-alike that Patriots are overrated, angering a Patriots football team fan (Major Dodge) and his gang, who then attack him. Matty Blake is head writer Sean. Jack tells Nancy that he’ll wait for her… but not forever. John Hancock brings along his black friend Crispus Attucks (Jabari Gayle) to prove his has black friends, but Tracy finds a lie in his story. 12/4/22
• 070. Verna – 2/4/2010
  • Liz has a dream that she and Jack have a baby, and when it is delivered by Tracy and nurse Kenneth, it is Meat Cat, the mascot for Cheesy Blasters, then wakes up and declares that she needs to eat better. Pete stays late after work so he can enjoy some down time between work and home, but Kenneth interrupts him and wants to talk to him. Security notifies Jenna that her mother Verna (Jan Hooks) is trying to get in the building, but Jenna has her thrown off the property. Liz suggests that she gives her a chance, but Jenna recalls the abuse she took as a child (Athena Eleanor Ripka) when she was doing commercials for Gator Hater Gator Spray in which she was forced to work with a giant alligator. Then her mother refused to sing with her in a mother-daughter pageant. Meanwhile, Frank starts a fire at his house and needs a place to stay, and Tracy recommends the upstairs apartment at her place. Liz instantly regrets agreeing to it when Frank keeps smoking in the house. Liz and Frank agree that he will stop smoking if she gives up the junk food. Pete doesn’t like the idea because junk food has always been her stress reliever during show week. Jack gives Jenna advice on how to handle to mother by saying ‘no’ to any requests, keep her cool, and then walk away. However, when Jeann and Verna meet, Verna gives Jenna back the money she had previously borrowed. When it doesn’t appear that Verna wants anything from Jenna, she decides to forgive her and let her back in her life. Jack finds this hard to believe, and when Verna throws Jenna a surprise party, Jack thinks Verna will ask her for whatever she wants during the party. Verna surprises everyone by making a toast to Jenna, and then apologizing for not singing with her at the pageant years earlier. She then invites Jenna up and they sing Do That to Me One More Time. Liz tells Jack that he was obviously wrong about her, but then the next day Verna makes her intentions clear to Jack when he tells him that she wants to do a reality show with Jenna, citing how good she is at pushing Jenna’s buttons. Liz is miserable with her diet and is convinced Frank isn’t holding up his end of the bargain. She leaves a pack of cigarettes out and then hides a camera in the living room. The next morning the cigarettes are gone, so she brings the tape in and shows it to all of the writers. The video starts with Liz sleep-eating, ordering a pizza, and then eating the missing cigarettes. Frank still tries to turn the tape off, because after Liz’s eating binge, the video shows Frank and his new stress-relief outlet: bringing the fat mailroom woman Denise (Jodie Lynne McClintock) back to the apartment and being comforted. Jack tries to tell Jenna what her mother is up to but doesn’t have the heart when he sees how happy she is. He meets with Veran and accepts the offer but stipulates he doesn’t want the show to be about dysfunction, but rather Verna making amends during four visits per year. He says if she can treat Jenna with respect, she’ll get $3000 per episode. Since Kenneth keeps interrupting Pete’s alone time, he turns to participating in a fight club. Liz tells Jack he was 100% wront about Jenna, and he accepts it. Meat Cat meets him in the elevator and tells him he is a good man. 12/9/22
• 071. Anna Howard Shaw Day – 2/11/2010
  • Liz tells Pete’s daughter Evelyn (Madeleine Rockwitz) that she’ll buy her Valentine’s cookies for her fundraiser not because it is Valentine’s Day, but because it is suffragette Anna Howard Shaw’s birthday. In fact, she is so bitter about Valentine’s Day that she makes herself an appointment to have a root canal on that day. Unfortunately, the dentist requires that she has someone to pick her up… and she cannot find anyone who isn’t busy on that day. Jack plans to go on three dates across the city in order to find the right one to have a one-night-stand with. He plans to have Jonathan call him and tell him he has an important meeting with the Geneva office. Jenna becomes upset when her stalker Maynard (Horatio Sanz) doesn’t contact her for Valentine’s Day. Jenna goes to see him in the coffee shop where he works, and Maynard tells him that he’s cured of the stalking and needs to move on. Jenna reminisces about all of the creepy things he did and decides that she misses him terribly. Someone then caresses her face, but when she turns, he is gone. Kenneth makes her feel better by putting up a poster at the studio telling Jenna that he wants to eat her boogers. Jack goes on the talks show Hot Box with Avery Jessup (Elizabeth Banks) along with Walter Stein (Douglas Rees) from the Center for Economic Progress. Jack quickly edges out Stein and all of his opinions, and then manages to score a date with Avery. The two get along fine until Jonathan calls with the Geneva appointment and Avery sees right through it. Jenna calls the dentist’s office and the nurse Keisha (Maechi Aharanwa) said she’ll need to sign a release form if she wants to leave the appointment without a ride. Jack sets up another date with Avery and offers to have her visit him in the VIP lounge at NBC, even though they don’t have one. Since NBC had Jon Bon Jovi (himself) under contract, Jack tells him to stop by and meet Avery. Cerie gives Liz the waiver to sign, but Jon Bon Jovi warns her not to sign it. He then visits with Jack and Avery, but Jack tells him to get lost in order to impress Avery. Jenna has her root canal, and afterward she finds Drew, Floyd, and Dennis all waiting for her in the lobby. Actually there are Keisha and two Jamaican nurses (Shinnerrie Jackson, Folake Olowofoyeku). Liz also mistakes a plant for Jon Bon Jovi, so she calls Jack to come get her. Jack has had his one-night stand with Avery and is trying to convince her that he wants more. She thinks that Liz’s phone call is a fake, and is surprised when Jack invites her to come along and get Liz. They take her back to Liz’s apartment, where she thinks her plant is Bon Jovi as well. Stewart Steinberg is the old janitor. NOTE: Tyler Hanes is credited as William, but does not appear in the episode. 5/23/23
• 072. Future Husband – 3/11/2010
  • Avery is hearing rumors that Sheinhardt will be selling NBC to a Philadelphia company called Kable Town. Jack denies that this is true and that Don Geiss would never allow it. Meanwhile, Liz finds an entry in her phone’s address book named “Future Husband”. Liz is reluctant to call it, but Kenneth is optimistic that everything will work out, and attempts to prove it by throwing his wallet out the window. This proves disastrous for him as his keys are in it, so he can’t go home, and his prescription for pills that keeps him from braying like a donkey is in it. Tracy decides he wants to go for the Tony to achieve his EGOT by doing a one-man show that he plans to improvise. With everything quiet around the office, Jack starts to suspect there may in fact be secret meetings of high executives taking place. Liz deduces that the last time she might have put the number in her phone was when she was either drunk… or under anesthesia. Dr. Kaplan (James Rebhorn) will only tell her that he is an Englishman and that they laughed a lot in the recovery room. Tracy gets a great review for his Broadway show, but Jenna tells him that to be eligible for a Tony Award unless it is performed eight time. She tries to coach him on acting so that he can repeat the show, but he is resistant to learning anything. She tells him for all she cares, he can get on stage and read the phone book. Liz decides to call the future husband and disguise her voice as Dr. Kaplan’s nurse and makes an appointment for him. Jonathan is able to find out that Don Geiss is having a meeting with Jack Welch (himself), vice president of General Electric, at his home in Connecticut. Jack goes to see Avery and asks her to report that Geiss has fought off the merger, but she refuses as she believes the deal is happening. Jack goes to see Welch and finds out from him that Don died several weeks ago and that they are keeping it quiet. He is devastated at the loss of his mentor. Jenna goes to the dentist and meets up with her future husband, Wesley Snipes (Michael Sheen). She finds that she is in his phone as “Future Wife.” They go out for coffee, but their date is incredibly awkward and standoffish. Liz reports to Kenneth that the date was awful and tells him that sometimes things are just the worst. Later, Liz runs into Wesley at NBC, as he is there to return Kenneth’s wallet that he found. Liz tells Wesley that this means they really need to give it another shot. He offers to take her to Tex-Mex, which she doesn’t like. Avery broadcasts the sale of NBC and speculates on who will head up the new acquisition and speculates that it will be Jack Donaghy. Tracy reads the phone book at his one-man show. 5/23/23
• 073. Don Geiss, America and Hope – 3/18/2010
  • Jack calls a meeting with the cast, staff, and international offices to discuss the acquisition of NBC by Kabletown from Philadelphia. He also honors the late Don Geiss, which prompts Jenna to sing Amazing Grace. Liz continues to explore her relationship with Wesley, and although their dates continue to be horrible, she feels the universe keeps pushing them together. Meanwhile, Tracy’s former nanny writes a tell-all book about him and reveals that he never has cheated on his wife, which he feels will damage his reputation. Jack looks forward to the new challenges of working for Kabletown and what he can do to make improvements to the company. He brings in an old colleague who had left G.E. for Kabletown years ago. Liz and Wesley return to see Dr. Kaplan to ask him to put them under again so they can find out why they were so attracted to each other when they were on anesthesia. Kaplan shows them other folks in the waiting room under anesthesia where a black female postwoman (Marcella Lowery) and a hipster boy (Peter Bresinger) vow to be best friends, and a redneck woman caresses a rabbi’s cheek. They agree to delete each other from their phones and move on. Jack meets with the Kabletown executive Dave Hess (Scott Bryce),and finds out that they want nothing from Jack in terms of growing the company because they thrive financially off of their pay-per-view porn industry, and buying NBC only serves as a tax write-off. Liz gets in a minor cab accident with Astronaut Mike Dexter, but he walks away, and Wesley comes riding up on his ‘foot cycle’. He becomes determined that the universe wants them to settle for each other. Tracy starts losing endorsements as people find out that he’s not a womanizer, so his wife Angie tells him to go have an affair. He tries to seduce Liz, but then realizes that he can’t cheat on Angie. She tells Tracy that he’s lucky with his family life and advises him to stop complaining. Liz asks for advice about whether she should settle, and he doesn’t offer good advice because he feels he’s settling with Kabletown. Jack speaks at the memorial service/freezing of Don Geiss, and he talks about the time Don told him that there is always an untapped market. Jack walks out when he has a business idea to create ‘porn’ for women, which are simply videos of handsome men who patiently listen to them jabber. He presents this to executives at Kabletown and receives a round of applause. Liz meets up with Wesley and tells him that she knows she can do better than him. Later, Liz finds Jack’s new porn-for-women channel and becomes an early customer. Alex Cranmer is the L.A. NBC employee. Tom Morrissey and Slyvia Kauders are the old couple on the street. Samuel Maupin is the Kabletown executive. Jeff Steitzer is the priest at the funeral. 9/24/23
• 074. Floyd – 3/25/2010
  • After a series of bad dates, Liz thinks something good will happen if she keeps putting positive energy out there. Sure enough, Kenneth gives her a message that Floyd DeBarber has called for her. Meanwhile, Danny is nominated for a Canadian Juno award for the song he sings during the Ottawa Senators hockey games, which will lead to a profile of him in the New York Times. This somehow provokes the ire of the writing staff, and they decide to write a fake profile themselves. Pete is concerned that the profile will also make Tracy and Jenna act out of jealousy, so he arranges them to have face impressions of their face which will keep them quiet for twelve hours. He has Kenneth sit in the room with them to tell them his stories. Liz calls back Floyd and finds out he is in town and wants to meet up with her. When Danny sees the profile, he runs to Jack in a panic, but Jack recognizes it as a prank of the writing nerds. He decides to help Danny out and retaliate. Liz tells the writers about her date with Floyd, and Frank points him out on the talk show Today with Meredith Vieira (herself), where he and his fiancé Kaitlin (Kristin McGee) are participating in the Today wedding contest. Jack has newscaster Lester Holt (himself) create a newsflash on TV about a toxic gas leak and monster on the loose in the building, and Danny is able to get the writer to all disrobe to survive it. Danny, Jack, and several office girls take pictures of them and laugh at them uncontrollably. After Tracy and Jenna’s experience with Kenneth, they both start having sexual dreams about him. Toofer finds out that Jack was a member of the Twig and Plums secret society at Princeton, and if someone says the words “twig and plums”, he will have to make an excuse to leave the room. Frank does this in front of Jack while he is in an important executive meeting. Liz confronts Floyd about seeing him on Today. She asks him to not have the wedding on TV, but he says this is an opportunity for exposure for Kaitlin, and ab model to get jobs in New York, which further offends Liz since he wouldn’t stay in New York for her. Whenever Jack tries to confront Frank about his practical joke, he just calls out “twig and plums” and Jack is forced to leave the room. Liz orders salmon for Floyd, which she then finds out from the waiter (Johnny Pruitt) is glazed with Jack Daniels, causing him to relapse and get drunk. They wind up in a fight because Floyd thinks she did it on purpose, so she storms out. Tracey and Jenna plan to fall asleep and then meet up in their dreams and kill Kenneth. Tracey smashes a glass photograph over his head, but then Pete informs them that they are both awake. They then realize that they slept all night and didn’t have a dream about Kenneth. Jack and Danny send a video to Frank of them both in his mother’s bedroom, thus ending the war between the Pranksmen and the Silver Panthers. A drunk Frank shows up on Today and harasses Kathie Lee Gifford (herself) and Hoda Kotb (herself), upsetting Catilin. Liz goes and apologizes to Kaitlin and tells her that Floyd being drunk was her fault, and then tells them to have a happy life together. Kaitlin is relieved that Floyd didn’t fall off the wagon because of her. She talks Liz into doing a reading at their wedding. Pete has a dream that he lays down the law with Tracy and Jenna, and that Kenneth rips off his own clothes and does a dance for him. 9/24/23
• 075. Lee Marvin vs. Derek Jeter – 4/22/2010
  • With his 51st birthday coming up, Jack’s relationship with Avery is moving along, but he is then shocked when Nancy returns and tells Jack that her divorce is now final, and she is ready to resume dating him. Meanwhile, Liz is busy attending every singles event that her apartment complex offers. After she tells Jenna about an attractive man (Ariel Shafir) who made eye contact with her at a Dodgeball game, but Liz simply hit him with a ball, Jenna offers to go along with her to some of the events to be her wingman as research for a film part she has coming up. Jack can’t decide which woman to continue seeing, so he begins juggling dates with each of them. Liz refers to Nancy as Lee Marvin after she and Jack watch a marathon as his films. Avery becomes Derek Jeter after she and Jack attend a party with him. Toofer feels the impact of racism after he is called a derogatory name on the subway. He fears he was only hired as a result of affirmative action, so he quits. Nancy gets Jack saltwater taffy for his birthday which brings back warm memories for him. Avery gives him the cufflinks that Ronald Reagan was buried in. Jack can’t decide between the women and says that whoever he’s with at any given time is the one he leans toward. When he schedules a date with Avery, he feels bad about Nancy being alone, so he arranges for Liz to take her to one of the singles events. The staff tries to get Liz to beg Toofer to come back, but she claims that she never had any special treatment as a woman and refuses to give it to anyone else. Nancy gives Liz some advice on how to stop looking at people who she doesn’t want and to go after someone she really does want. She approaches the guy from the Dodgeball match and tells him all of the things she is looking for, but when she finds out that he barely speaks English, she hits him with the ball again. Pete finds out that Liz received both her education and her job on The Girly Show as part of affirmative action initiatives. Jack says he can’t let his dating both women go on any longer, but still can’t make the choice, and accepts another date with Nancy. Toofer returns when Liz invites him back because he’s the only one who can spell. He no longer wants to be called Toofer, but he quickly returns to it when the alternatives are much worse. Will Ferrell is the character Shane Hunter in the TV promo for Bitch Hunter. Jon Prescott is the Avatar guy at the singles event. Steve Hely is Jarem. Rosalie Tenseth is the aerobics instructor. Nancy Lemenager is the woman in the Slovin Shield commercial. 1/23/24
• 076. Khonani – 4/22/2010
  • With Jack unable to decide between Avery and Nancy, he decides to keep himself distracted by a dispute between NBC janitors Khonani (Kapil Bawa) and Subhas (Subhas Ramsaywack). It seems that Khonani had signed a contract with Jack five years ago on a paper towel that he could take over an earlier shift, and the date has now come. Meanwhile, Liz finds out about Thursday Night Thunder, a gathering of her staff to go out drinking. She bemoans this fact to Tracy, who happened to miss the event this particular Thursday because he had to take his wife Angie to the ER because of high blood pressure. He asks Liz to come over and take care of her, but she refuses, so he asks Kenneth to do it. He is more than happy to help, but Angie gets furious that Tracy isn’t there and demands that he come home. Liz complains to Jack that her staff is excluding her, but he thinks it is for the best that she does not hang out with them. When Cerie’s fiance is rescued from pirates, she announces that their engagement is back on and wants Liz and Jenna to throw her a bridal shower. Liz jumps at the opportunity to show her staff what a fun person she can be. Tracy comes home and finds Kenneth being stalked by their dog Tracy Sr., but he quickly leaves to heads to a strip club. When he comes back home, he emphatically says he will stay with his wife. Liz then calls him to make sure that he comes to her party so he can be the life of it. Tracy is tempted, but decides to have Tracy Sr’s electric leash on his neck to make sure he stays. Tracy then sends Kenneth to the party to go in his place.  Jack promises Khonani that he can have the earlier shift, then calls in Subhas to tell him that he needs to switch the shift. When Subhas balks at this, Jack decides to make the night shift earlier and revolutionize the schedule. However, with Subhas coming in at 10:00 and Khonani coming in at 11:30, there isn’t any trash for him to empty. Jack suggests that they both share the same shift, but Khonani tells him that he needs to decide, which Jack parallels with his choice about Avery and Nancy. Kohnani winds up leaving to go work at Foxwoods Casino. While Kenneth is on the way to the party, he calls Tracy to tell him that Angie needs her blood pressure medicine from out of her car, which means Tracy has to cross the electric fence. Kenneth also notices that Tracy Sr. has followed him and is hunting him. Over at the party, Liz can’t help herself from yelling at everyone for not inviting her to their night out and insists that they all apologize to her. Kenneth shows up with the dog in pursuit, scaring everyone to death. They all turn to Liz to protect them, insisting that she is their mother figure, and one does not invite their mother to come out drinking with them, which helps assuage her feelings. She puts on protective gear and lets the dog attack her while the guests all leave the apartment. Tracy gets past the fence and to the car, then considers going to Liz’s party now that he is free. However, he decides to cross the fence again and bring Angie the medicine she needs. Liz reminds Jack that he needs to return to his problem of Nancy and Avery. 1/23/24

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