Only four days passed until I got to see Erin again. I had been gone so often that it was a struggle to keep up with some basic chores and get the house ready for visitors within those four days. So I toiled over grass mowing, laundry, straightening the house, running my new vacuum cleaner, making the spare room inhabitable, and trying desperately to catch up on the Terrible Catsafterme. In the few spare seconds I had, I finished off Archie Bunker’s Place and began the first episodes of Weeds on DVD. And on Friday, May 28, 2010, I was heading off again on another adventure.
I was excited to have the opportunity to now meet Erin’s two children, Nate, aged 15, and Chloe, aged 9. We would be meeting in Sevierville, Tennessee, just slightly north of Gatlinburg and then spending Saturday at Dollywood. I left straight from work and drove until 9pm. When I arrived, Erin and the kids greeted me in the parking lot of our Super 8 Motel, which although under some construction was a actually quite nice, despite the poor internet service.
After unloading my car, we went down the road a bit for dinner at Cracker Barrel, where we enjoyed chicken and dumplings all around – except for Nate who stuck with the fish and chips. We browsed the gift shop for a while and Chloe got a few fun toys (including an erasable slate and a magnetic gyro wheel, which were toys that Erin and I had when we were kids). I picked up a book of Mad Libs, which was always a crowd pleaser. Oh, and naturally I made sure to buy one of each flavor of candy stick.
The beautiful array of Cracker Barrel candy sticks
Chloe’s idol Dolly Parton looms over her in the motel lobby
Back at the motel that night, we played our Mad Libs (Chloe improvised on the spelling of testicles), and Chloe swam for a bit in the hot tub. I brought along a couple of introductory gifts for the kids, the DVDs of 9 to 5 and Unlikely Angel for Chloe, who is a big fan of Dolly Parton, and my paperweight containing a piece of the U.S.S. Missouri ship on which the signing of the Japanese surrender took place during WW2, for Nate, who is a big World War 2 history buff. They brought along a cool mood ring for me. Erin got a piece of paper that was written upon. It was well after midnight before we got to sleep.
The three kids showing off their gifts, before embarking on our Dolly-Day
We had a rather lazy morning on Saturday the 29th, getting ready and grabbing some of the continental breakfast. We didn’t actually arrive to the gates of Dollywood until close to 11:30 that morning. We were visiting Dollywood during its 25th Anniversary, having opened in 1986 under the name Dollywood. (It had originally opened in 1961 as Rebel Railroad). I hadn’t been here since 1999, during my honeymoon with Lisa. At that time I had thought that the park was a poor-man’s version of Kings Island, but in the meantime, I think they’ve upgrades to a poor-man’s Disneyland. In short, I was rather impressed with their many attractions.
Nate, Erin, Chloe, and me at Dollywood during their 25th Anniversary
We kicked off the day quietly enough with a visit to Chasing Rainbows: The Dolly Parton Story. I’m not sure if Dolly merited a park museum even bigger than Walt Disney’s, but nonetheless it was done well, with a clever introduction in her ‘attic’ by Dolly, and then an impressive smattering of relics throughout her career. Absolutely no photos were allowed inside. Yeah, whatever.
Originally band costume, drum, and yearbooks from Dolly’s days in high school
Dolly Parton’s very impressive trophy case
Dolly’s costumes from one of my favorite films 9 to 5. They also had her duds from The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
Chloe was not very interested in many of the bigger rides, so we started off the day rather small in the Country Fair section of the park, which included some of the smaller rides. Erin and Chloe began on the Veggie Tales Side Show Spin, while Nate and I watched from afar. Then we all rode the tried-and-true Scrambler and the Lemon Twist. I didn’t spin Erin too much, but naturally Nate went just a spin or two too far with Chloe. The kids also tried their luck in the shooting gallery. No luck.
We couldn’t get Chloe on the Dizzy Disk, so Erin, Nate, and I rode without her. And finally, Chloe got on The Amazing Flying Elephants, while Nate kindly invited me to join him on another ride of the Lemon Twist. We spun that lemon so hard that at the end of the ride, I think my nose had shifted to the backside of my head.
Who wouldn’t stop to pose with a lovely Dollywood Southern Belle?
Scrambled eggs
Nate and Chloe, gangsta style
Back in the Lemon Twist, shortly before Nate made my brain cling to the back wall of my skull
I maintain that if this elephant were real, he would never let Chloe climb inside of his torso
Before we left the Country Fair, we made sure that Chloe won a Pokemon stuffed animal by stacking a four-player game with all four of us. So in essence, we bought a stuffed animal for $12. But the good news is that Chloe actually won the game (against us) in which you punch a big button which send plastic balls into a basket…so she in fact earned the Pokemon. By the way, can anyone tell me what a Pokemon is?
It was getting rather warm as it got to be about 1:30 in the afternoon. So we decided to go ahead and bite the bullet and ride the water ride. Although both Nate and Erin had worn jeans, I think Erin got the worse end of the water barrage on the Smoky Mountain Rampage, a whitewater rafting type ride with water attacks throughout.
A beautiful family…shortly before being doused
Nate and I prepare for the worst…
…but it is delivered to Erin and Chloe
After we were nice and soaked, it was time to board the first roller coaster of the day, where the wind could hit us hard. We opted for the big wooden roller coaster known as the Thunderhead. On the way, we stopped for an eclair and soda at the Spotlight Bakery and Sandwich Shop. I must admit that after riding the Thunderhead, I was about to concede that I had gotten simply too old for roller coasters. I wasn’t sure if this one was ultra shaky, or the glue that held my bones together was getting ultra weak, but this ride left me with a one big headache. (The next weekend, I would prove myself that I’m not too old for the rollies).
Thrills and headaches on the Thunderhead. I had snapped of a photo of Erin and me going up the hill, but she made me erase it since it looked like she was turning into the Incredible Hulk
We then went straight for a roller coaster of another variety. This one was called the Mystery Mine, which is a trip through a haunted mine in the 1800′s that turns into a Gerstlauer Euro-Fighter roller coaster, with a 90-degree drop and a loop. It is notable for being the first coaster of this style in the United States, and at the time of its install, having the steepest drop in North America. Chloe didn’t ride.
Ready to board that ominous Mystery Mine behind us
Nothing’s gonna save us from the big drop…
Nate wanted to take another ride on the Thunderhead, and since Chloe had already sat out for two rides, and my rickety bones couldn’t take another coaster ride at the moment, I took Chloe on the Lumberjack Lifts while Erin and Nate went back to the Thunderhead. This was an attraction where you could literally pull yourself up a tower by rope. It was actually a bit harder than it looked. I’m so wimpy.
Chloe and I get ready to tug our way to the top of Lumberjack Lifts
While heading to Adventure Mountain at around 3:30, Nate and Chloe spotted the River Battle ride and went on it. This was a clever boat ride where bystanders could shoot water at the boats as they went by, but in turn the riders could shoot water back at you. Erin and I decided that we didn’t want to get wet anymore, so we simply took delight in trying to soak the boats that went by – and avoid their water fire.
Adventure Mountain is an ingenious attraction. It was basically a rope challenge course on which you could embark without much fear of smashing your face. You are strapped into a full-body harness and basically attached to a series of overhead tracks that allows you to go any challenge course of ropes, swinging bridges, and skinny mountain paths. We spent nearly an hour on the courses, and although some of them got a bit repetitive, I personally had a blast. After taking several photos, one employee darted across two bridges to tell Erin that they were not permitted. Silly us.
Chloe braves the raging rapids below
Erin carefully works her way across the ropes
Casually strolling across this familiar terrain. You see, I know the ropes.
A slight fear of heights wasn’t going to stop Nate from crossing these obstacles
I was revived enough to embark on one last coaster for the day…the big metal, triple-loop, awfully fast coaster known as the Tennessee Tornado. Nate and I rode together, and Chloe sat it out. I think by this point she was getting rather friendly with the Dollywood employees that she had to wait with.
Thrills aplenty on the Tennessee Tornado
Our final ride of the day was the Blazing Fury. Technically, this was an indoor roller coaster, but one that only reaches a maximum speed of 28 miles per hour. It is a dark ride centered around a group of vigilantes that have set a town ablaze. Apparently many of the rides props have been removed over the years, so there really isn’t much of a story left. In any case, I enjoyed it and it didn’t leave me with a headache.
We were going to ride one final ride, the Mountain Slidewinder, but realized that it might get us wet again, so we opted to skip it. Instead we headed toward the gate and gift shop where I picked up my magnet and Chloe got a faulty fan and squirt bottle combo. Since it didn’t work, we had to go back and exchange it, before departing the park as it approached 6pm. Although we only spend about six and a half hours at the park, I felt like we got to see quite a bit at Dollywood, and I was amply impressed with the quality of it.
We love you, Dollywood. Thanks for a great day!
From Dollywood, we headed to my personal favorite attaction, the Kinkaku Japanese Steakhouse for another round of all-you-can-eat sushi. Erin and I had visited here the previous month in April when we first met up in Gatlinburg. First of all, I was impressed with the fact that both Nate and Chloe loved sushi – and secondly, I was impressed with how much of it Nate could put away. I’m not sure if he ate more than me or not, but by the time we left, I think we both had spent ample time in their restroom.
The slightly surmountable task at hand
No one’s going to tell us that we can’t finish all of this sushi
That evening we played some Farkle, which Nate won in the world’s swiftest comeback. The kids then went swimming while Erin and I sat by the pool and tried to rescue some suicidal beetles who kept making their way toward their ultimate doom. It had been a fabulous day, and I was thrilled to spend it with Erin, Nate, and Chloe.
We’d be heading back to Ohio the next morning for the Memorial Day holiday…
I was also very impressed with the park. It was clean and of such a higher quality than I expected – it had some decent coasters, there WAS a Disneyesque feel to the place and best of all there were no long lines. You were such a trooper on that lemon twist with Nate – your lemon was a complete blur and I honestly had visions of it rocketing off of its base. This trip was fun, fun, fun!
Erin
July 1st, 2010
Nice recap of Dollywood. I got to go once with Barb & Diana and I loved it. They were all so friendly and the park was really clean and fun. Glad you guys had such a good time. I know I’d like to go back there sometime.
Bev
July 2nd, 2010
Dollywood was the business! Cool park! We went there back in 2007. My oldest daughter and I still quote Dolly’s prerecorded message at the end of that ridiculous Dixie Stampede show.
Eric Hubble
July 4th, 2010